• Luna Reviews: Bioshock Infinite (With Socks)

    Citizens of Equestria Daily! It is I, Luna!  As part of our program to re-integrate with thy current pony society, your princess hath taken up this personal computation device and used the royal coffers to fund an excursion into the great unknown of "gaming".  We have very little interest in such matters, but our dear sister hath requested it of us, and the Lunar Royal Guard constantly celebrates about this "Bioshock".  One would think they just landed the filly of their dreams the way they speak of it!

     So without further ado,  thy princess of the night gives you her review on this new style of fun

    One thing we noticed immediately, was these odd monkey-like creatures that make up the cast of this experience.  Do gamers not take pride in thy heritage? Are the common ponies of today disappointed in their hooves and flanks, and looking to thrust themselves into these patchy-haired oddities?  Perhaps a lesson in self appreciation would do these foals well!

    And what, pray tell, do they do with all the food they consume?  Would one not become sick from eating all of this? My monkey appears to devour everything, including apples covered in no end of filth.

    I see somepony does not appreciate my night!  Is there something wrong with darker fur?  Can a pony not have blue eyes and midnight blue color?  Did sister sneak this in to anger us?

    Well then!  Thy preferences for gore match only the most savage of conquerers of my era.  One would think society would evolve past such things as it matures! It appears not!

    Why doth everymonkey want us dead? Do we not have vocal cords?  Can we not communicate in a civilized manner? 

    HUZZAH! How many points do I receive?

    We must admit, the artists of thy era are quite talented.  Mayhaps I have misjudged the creators of this "game".  One appears to shift from incredible violence to tranquil serenity at the drop of a hat.

    Stay indoors Elizabeth! We do not require your assistance in finding every single loose bit that falls out of our enemies' pockets!

    Overall, your princess enjoys this "gaming" and looks forward to furthering her modern experiences of it in the future.  While thy lust for violence is somewhat surprising, one can appreciate this masterfully crafted setting and understands the need to blow off some "steam" after a night of important royal business. 
    Sister tells us wearing these will make us appear less intimidating.  Doth thou prefer thy princess with, or without socks?