[Grimdark][Normal]
Author: Purple Prose
Description: A thousand-year-old document has been successfully translated by a scholar at the Royal University of Equestria. However, the document has not been authorized for publication to the general public, and with good reason. With permission from Her Royal Highness, the document is now presented, in translation with notes, to this site.Moon Diary
Additional Tags: Fictional Document, Diary, Luna, Origin, Madness
46 comments:
Equestria Daily > general public
ReplyDelete@Narwhals' Bend
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea...
doesn't really classify as grimdark in my opinion, but well done. How many Origin stories of Nightmare Moon are there by now?
ReplyDeleteWell, that creeped me right the heck out.
ReplyDeletewow
ReplyDeletenice story
also is ponychan down?
it is for me :/
Intrigue!
ReplyDeleteGRAMMAR TYPO DAMMIT!
I liked it a lot except for a few spelling and grammar errors.
ReplyDeleteComplete?!
ReplyDelete;_;
Ah well, I enjoyed it!
Shit dude, thats creepy :\
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the crap out of that, its kinda odd though, who did put the poisonous flowers in her meal? who tried to kill her? I hope we all get to find out.
Diaries make excellent framing devices, don't they? It's an easy way to get inside the head of the protagonist and really understand their feelings, and it's usually quite effective. The peppering of translator's notes made the diary seem more like a credible historical document than just some random diary Luna kept laying around one day.
ReplyDeleteAs far as content, this is an interesting interpretation of Luna's transformation into Nightmare Moon. The idea of Luna not willingly submitting to NM isn't one that I see explored often. Very intriguing. And aside from the typos (which may or may not be purposeful), it was well written and an interesting read. Nice work!
Wow, that's just...wow. That's a new twist on the whole multiple personalities complex, as emphasized through Luna's journal. Bravo.
ReplyDelete*Insert Spikes "Dude, that's creepy!" quote*
ReplyDeleteSeriously...
that was cool! i think that the one who poisoned her was....herself...
ReplyDeletewoah that was completely awesome! I loved it! GREAT job on everything. Obviously no one wanted to poison her, it was Nightmare Moon/herself. as Anonymous said :)
ReplyDeleteREALLY interesting. five stars!!
Awesome is right!
ReplyDeleteNot my favorite interpretation of NMM but really well executed.
I absolutely LOVE this! And I sort of hate diary stories, too. It seemed undoubtable real. One of my favorites on the sight thus far!
ReplyDeleteshort'n'creepy. liked it a lot.
ReplyDeleteGood read. Just about the right amount of insane mixed into it.
ReplyDeleteNiiiiiice. So wonderfully creepy. I almost wish I'd read it at night.
ReplyDeleteI loved the translator's notes. It was so believable...the whole thing was believable, actually.
Amazing interpretation. This is now officially how Nightmare Moon came to be, in my book. Five stars, ol' chap.
As soon as I read how the last entry was formatted in comparison to the others, my blood went ice cold. Creepy as all hell, but perfectly carried.
ReplyDeleteA good read.
ReplyDeleteI have a Datura Inoxia in my garden.They are very beautiful flower.
I always thought Luna would have liked them :)
Eerie atmosphere, and nice academic formatting - reminiscent of multilayered narratives like House of Leaves.
ReplyDeleteI felt like using the binomial nomenclature for the datura every time lessened the emotional impact a bit - imagine Red Riding Hood writing about still fearing the Canis Lupus Maleficarius! Otherwise, it makes for a great read.
Considering the massive flood of bookish, aloof Lunas we have all created, it will be severely jarring if Season Two has her be cute and fun-loving or the like...
Excellent story beautifully written and CREEPY AS HELL.
ReplyDeleteTrapped alone, for 1,000 years. With that as your only company.
ReplyDeleteChilling.
Hey guys, I had an idea and I was wondering if everypony would be down for it. Like many of you, I read A LOT of MLP fanfiction, all written by really adept writers.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure most of you have heard of audiobooks, as well. While I don't listen to them very often, it's good to have them on my iPod when, say, I'm in the car.
If everypony thinks it would be a good idea, we could have a group of enthusiastic readers recite and record some of our favourite fanfictions and then have them posted online.
What do you guys think :P ?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"Trapped alone, for 1,000 years. With that as your only company.
ReplyDeleteChilling."
I agree. I would love to see Luna after the whole NM transformation of the first episodes and returning back to her home. Would she be unstable? Would she have relapses of NM? After 1000 years, how does she think now and how have her morals changed? Does she still see NM as an enemy, or closer to a twisted friend?
There are a lot of possibilities, and I found this to be an amazing read. It was delivered very well, and the translators notes gave it such a realistic touch. The amount of madness was just right, though it personally didn't creep me out. I saw it more as something that really could have happened.
Loved it!
You would need very clear readers to do it. If the readers aren't very talented at, well, reading, it could ruin the whole fiction. Great idea, though!
ReplyDeleteWoah...
ReplyDeleteAnypony else reminded of BEN?
So...NM was the result of brain damage caused by magical moonflower poison? I like the story, but I'm not entirely sure where it has her come from.
ReplyDeleteVery eerie.
ReplyDeleteI like how the appearance of NM and Luna's steadily approaching realization slowly crept into the text, and not just thrown in completely.
Awesome sauce.
Don't know how fitting that is, but it was a fun read.
ReplyDeleteKinda reminds me of the text in The Shining. Creepy. This needs to be inan episode.
ReplyDeleteCreepy, but good.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely BRILLIANT! what a twist on Nightmare Moon's origins.... she wasn't possessed, she wasn't insane--- she was accidentally POISONED. And the author did their homework, too: the effects of Datura Inoxia (or MOONFLOWER) are accurately described, and DO include light sensitivity, madness, delirium, and bizarre and violent behavior.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks; this bit of botanical knowledge makes the story both easier to understand and more awesome.
Author here. I have to admit, I really should have switched to a more common idiom for the Inoxia. It doesn't really flow well, but might make sense in the contect of Luna being a bit of a nerd.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to do something psychological, not to mention playing with the text formatting. The truth behind what happened is up to all of you, though. <3
Fantastic headtrip. Thanks for the ride.
ReplyDeleteI don't truly understand the grimdark part, for me this is more Sadfic, to watch, or read Luna sink into madness
ReplyDeleteOh, sweet Celestia and Luna.
ReplyDeleteReading this at 2:30 AM was a REALLY BAD IDEA.
@Zogger568
ReplyDelete"All work and no attention makes Luna a jealous Nightmare Moon."
"All work and no attention makes Luna a jealous Nightmare Moon."
"All work and no attention makes Luna a jealous Nightmare Moon."
"All work and no attention makes Luna a jealous Nightmare Moon."
ad infinitum...
That was awesome. I found myself hearing Nightmare Moon's voice in my head as I read. Creepiness at its best.
ReplyDeleteWow. Short, sweet, and creepy. Very ambiguous, too... was it the poison, or was Luna already mad? Or was it something else entirely?
ReplyDeleteAlthough, the "two styles of writing" was a little immersion-breaking. I mean, if she were a part of Luna, why would her handwriting be any different? How could she develop an entirely different handwriting style, even subconsciously?
MAYBE ITS BECAUSE THE OTHER HER WANTS TO ESTABLISH HERSELF AS A DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL?
Mmm... true, true... it'd be a bit like how in EverymanHYBRID when HABIT would take over the twitter and write in all caps while Slenderman wrote in normal text...
EXACTLY.
...wait a minute...
...SOMETHING WRONG?
This is a funny story.
ReplyDeleteTook looking through here to figure out what the plants were. The last line makes me wish I had bought the Luna doll so I could hug her and comfort her that she's OK.
ReplyDeleteThis story is amazing. It was way better than I expected. Other than a few cliche's that really weren't that misplaced, it was perfect. The way it's done up to look so official, and especially the timing of the story ending. Much shorter than I expected, but in a good way. It really added to the awesomeness the way it was ended off. I have to say, this is the best fanfiction I've ever read.
ReplyDelete