Hey again, everypony! It's your favorite human fan club owning unicorn, Lyra, back with something extra special today: human foods!
Now, I admit, humans eat some, uh...unique things (like, seriously guys, did nopony ever introduce you to hay?), but let’s stay positive and embrace the wonder of human cooking! Here are my absolute top 10 favorite human foods; ranked by deliciousness, cultural value, and, um, lack of emotional trauma when eating.
10. Sushi 🍣
Okay, starting strong! Sushi is beautiful and artistic, and even though it's technically raw fish (gulp), humans wrap it in cute little rice blankets and seaweed, which almost makes up for it. Almost.
9. Bacon 🥓
Right. Bacon. It’s, uh…crispy. And salty. And humans put it on everything, which is clearly a sign of genius and not at all disturbing. I'll just, um, stick with bacon-flavored chips, thanks!
8. Chicken Nuggets 🍗
Chicken nuggets might be questionable morally—but come on, humans shape them like cute little dinosaurs! That's adorable enough that I'll ignore the whole... meat thing. Heh… dinosaurs.
7. Hot Dogs 🌭
Humans stuff things into tubes. It's weird, but they're portable, easy to hold (thumb-friendly!), and I heard there's a "veggie" version for ponies who, like me, might get emotional around real sausages. Yay alternatives!
6. Lobster 🦞
Lobsters are basically giant, red sea-bugs that humans decided to dunk in butter. That sounds totally normal and not at all horrifying! Um, anyway, butter sauce is delicious…right?
5. Cheeseburgers 🍔
A classic human staple! Cheeseburgers are amazing, especially if you pretend the patty came from a happy field of magical, meat-producing grass. (Seriously, humans, just try the grass—it’s great.)
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| I knew this cow... |
4. Steak 🥩
Steak. Ah, yes. Steak. Um, very fancy and classy, apparently. Humans really seem to love this, even though it's… uh, literally a slab of cow. But hey, at least humans grill it first! That's polite.
3. Fried Chicken 🍗
Apparently, humans love chicken so much they deep-fry it in batter and eat it by the bucket. The buckets are nice. Honestly, if you ignore everything else, the crispy part is pretty amazing!
2. Tacos 🌮
Humans, bless their hearts, figured out how to wrap tasty ingredients (beans, cheese, and lettuce—yay!) in a handy edible holder. Sometimes there's meat too, but let's not ruin this moment. Tacos are clearly a hoof-friendly miracle.
1. Pizza 🍕
Finally, the greatest human invention of all: Pizza! Dough, tomato sauce, cheese, and every topping imaginable—including pineapple, which is somehow controversial (humans, really?). Best of all, it’s 100% delicious without meat if you prefer. Pizza, you magical circle of goodness, thank you for existing!
There you have it! Human foods are certainly… diverse. But hey, humans are creative, adventurous, and totally willing to eat almost anything—gotta respect that! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go convince Bon Bon to let me order another veggie pizza. (And definitely no pepperoni, please! Thanks!)
