'Tis I, Princess Luna, Mistress of the Night, Vanquisher of Dream-Demons, and Official Royal Connoisseur of delivering the best future My Little Pony season! I have traversed thine peculiar Internet (a chaotic realm of artistry, curiosity, and… most concerning anatomical interpretations of mine equine form) and have returned with wisdom, wit, and a most wondferful of lists of season 10 episodes that SHALL BE! ...Assuming the sun doth not steal the budget...
Behold! Twenty-six wondrous tales for the bronies. Even if thy artistry is disturbing...
1. Luna Alone: The One-Winged Alicorn
I awaken to find all of Ponyville vanished! 'Tis not a dream… 'tis a Tuesday. I embark upon a solo quest only to discover I’ve accidentally slept through the Daylight Savings Spell again.
Guest Star: Discord, who makes things worse, as always.
2. Sister Act: Canterlot’s Got Talent
Celestia and I enter a performance competition to "bond". Her act? Sun juggling. Mine? Screaming into a void of bats. We are both disqualified but somehow still receive a standing ovation from the nobles (out of fear).
Contains a musical number: “It’s Not a Phase, Sister!”
3. The Great Pillow Rebellion
I institute a new decree: all nightmares must be countered with royal-grade pillows. The Royal Guard revolts after I replace their spears with cuddly goose-down cudgels. War. Fluffy, feathery war.
4. Nightmare on Mane Street
An ancient enchantment causes ponies’ dreams to leak into reality. I spend the episode battling a 30-foot-tall Fluttershy made entirely of bees. Twilight refuses to help because she’s busy alphabetizing books by emotional impact.
5. The Fan Club of Me
I find a single filly who claims to be my biggest fan. I crown her Duchess of the Night and she immediately passes sweeping reforms including mandatory bat-wing fashion and "No Tia Tuesdays."
Celestia files a formal complaint and is ignored.
6. The Prank War: Royal Decree of Vengeance
Pinkie Pie pranks me by swapping my coffee with decaf. I retaliate by moving her house one inch to the left every night for a month. She calls me “Mom.” I flee in terror.
7. Twilight’s Sparkle is Out
Twilight Sparkle falls into a book and becomes a character in a 90s soap opera. I must go in after her, playing every other role in the drama. I win a Daytime Equestrian Emmy.
8. Thou Shalt Not Yeet
Modern pony slang bewilders me. “Yeet?” “No cap?” “Skibidi?” I am horrified. I declare a kingdom-wide edict banning nonsense words. The youth rebel, riding scooters and calling me “based.” I ascend to cult status overnight.
9. Celestial Intervention
Celestia insists we "switch roles for a day." again after a fight about our previous switch. I spend 24 hours smiling, waving, and suffering. She spends 24 hours screaming at existential dream horrors. She admits I win. I tattoo it on the moon.
10. Nightmare Moon’s Redemption Arc… Again
Some theater troupe in Manehattan makes a dramatization of my “redemption.” I attend. They cast Trixie as me. Trixie insists on making it a musical. I astral project out of rage.
11. Date Night at the End of the Universe
Big Mac accidentally asks me on a date via misplaced RSVP. I accept out of politeness. It becomes a cosmic romantic odyssey where we fight entropy, time loops, and awkward silences. He says three whole sentences.
12. My Little Moonie: Friendship is Mandatory
I raise a new generation of “Moon Templars” dedicated to friendship and cookies. It accidentally becomes a cult. I have to disband it when they attempt to ban sunlight. Celestia glares at me from across Equestria.
13. The Final Eclipse
The moon and sun align, merging our magic into one being: Celuna. She is powerful. She is elegant. She is emotionally unstable and cries when petting kittens. Together, we stop a new villain: Chrono-Flurry Heart. The foal has time travel powers now. Send help.
14. The Mare Who Knew Too Much
While dreamwalking, I overhear somepony’s spicy gossip. Nay, a conspiracy! But if I reveal it, I betray dreamcode. So I passive-aggressively bake it into cookies and distribute them at the Gala. Chaos ensues.
Quote: “Art thou sure thou aren’t cheating on thy taxes, Fancy Pants?”
15. Starlight Glimmer and the Temporal Regret
Starlight time-travels again. AGAIN. She tries to “fix” my banishment. I end up ruling the Crystal Empire for a thousand years and marrying a rock. His name is Gerald. He listens better than most nobles.
16. Flutterbat Rises
I accidentally awaken Fluttershy's bat form via a cursed apple pie. She becomes the new symbol of the night. My bat ponies crown her Empress. I am forced to challenge her to hoof-wrestle for the throne.
Flutterbat wins. I cry but in a dignified, nocturnal way.
17. Sunburn: The Reckoning
I try to enjoy a "beach day" with Celestia. I vaporize a volleyball court in a sunscreen-related accident. Celestia wears seven pairs of sunglasses and somehow still glares at me.
Featuring the hit song: “SPF 1,000 or Bust”
18. Batmare Begins
I start patrolling the streets at night dressed as a mysterious masked vigilante. Twilight says I’m being “melodramatic.” I say vengeance never sleeps. Spike joins me as “Scaleboy.”
Guest Villain: A mime with reality-warping powers named “Silencio.”
19. The Annual Royal Apology Tour
Celestia and I must attend 57 public events in one weekend to apologize for “past errors.” Mine include: “Weaponized Dream Spells,” “Accidental Moonquakes,” and “That One Time I Mooned the Griffon Ambassador (Literally).”
20. Sweetie Belle of Darkness
Sweetie Belle attempts dark magic because it’s “edgy.” I mentor her for a day. She tries to summon a storm demon to improve her singing voice. We ground her for a month, but secretly? I’m proud.
21. Twilight’s Intervention
Twilight holds a friendship intervention for me. Claims I’m “withdrawing socially” and “emotionally unavailable.” I respond by locking the doors and subjecting them to a six-hour PowerPoint titled "Why I Am Fine."
22. The Hayburger Heist
Someone steals the Royal Hayburger Shipment. Celestia blames me because I once ordered 300 hay fries at 3 A.M. We go undercover in Ponyville. Turns out it was Derpy. She thought it was her mail.
Celestia eats a churro. She weeps. “It is… transcendent.”
23. The Astral Bachelor
Every eligible noble suitor in Canterlot tries to win my hoof after somepony (Spike) starts a dating contest. I sabotage it with dream tests. Only one survives: a quiet earth pony who brings me soup.
We agree to "just vibe" and play board games on Tuesdays.
24. The Great Bat Migration
My bat ponies leave to form their own colony in the Everfree. I feel abandoned. Turns out they just wanted a spa weekend. I learn to let go. And also that bat ponies are very into exfoliating clay masks.
25. The Sun Sets Twice
An unstable solar flare (Celestia sneezes) merges our realms. Day and night overlap. Eternal dusk! Very poetic. Also terrifying. I save the world by reciting a bedtime story so boring it resets reality.
Celestia says: “Was that about taxes?” I respond: “Aye.”
26. Finale: The Night is Forever (Unless Canceled Again)
A cosmic rift unleashes my old alternate personas: Dramatic Luna, Edgy Luna, Gamer Luna, and Unintentionally Flirty Luna. Together we fight them in a battle of wits, karaoke, and hoof-to-hoof combat. In the end, I accept myself—awkwardness, shadows, memes, and all.
Final scene: Luna sits atop the moon, sipping moon juice, whispering “Season Seven is coming…”
And thus, dear viewer of hoof-drawn fables and forbidden fanfictions, our tale concludes—not with a whimper, but with an ethereal mic drop. The night was long, the journey moody, and the snacks regrettably under-salted, but we emerged stronger, stranger, and with at least three new T-shirts featuring my face superimposed over a galaxy.
As for me? My royal duties are done (for now), and I must away—to the basement of Vinyl Scratch’s aunt’s house, where Octavia, Button Mash, and I shall engage in an epic session of Call of Pony. Goodnight, Earth—may thy day be neutral in temperature, and thy moon phases symmetrical.
