Author: TotalOverflow
Description: Big Macintosh seems like a simple pony who keeps to himself and doesn't say much, but there's more going on beneath the surface of this red stallion than it would seem at first glance. After his family urges him to go and make some friends in town, Big Macintosh finds himself meeting interesting ponies and discovering a whole world outside of his farm. But even with these new experiences, old memories and ghosts from the past resurface to haunt him. Big Macintosh finds himself confronted with something he thought he put behind him long ago…All Chapters After the Break!
Fanfiction.net
Macintosh (All Links)
Google Documents
Macintosh Prologue
Macintosh Part 1
Macintosh Part 2
Macintosh Part 3
Macintosh Part 4
Macintosh Part 5
Macintosh Part 6
Macintosh Part 7
Macintosh Part 8
Macintosh Part 9
Macintosh Part 10
Macintosh Part 11
Macintosh Part 12
Macintosh Part 13
Macintosh Part 14
Macintosh Part 15
Macintosh Part 16
Macintosh Epilogue
Macintosh: Aftermath (New!)
Additional Tags: Friendship, Backstory, Character Study, Family, Hardship, Everypony
241 comments:
FIRST!
ReplyDelete...
wow, I feel bad for that. I'm sorry, I will read it now.
Whutchu lookin' at there, Applejack?
ReplyDeleteSecond!
ReplyDeletethird!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, really. Amuses me because I"m writing a Macintosh story just now m'self. :)
ReplyDeleteOh no... what have I DONE??? I'VE CREATED A CHAIN!!!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, to the story. I really like it so far. The topic is interesting, and having Mac "meet" the mane five (not counting Applejack of course) is an interesting thing. I would have imagined he already knew them from seeing the show, but the more I think about it the more I realize Mac doesn't interact with them much at all.
Your writing is also supberb. I couldn't see anything noticably wrong with grammar, so YAY! I've just finished chapter 1, and plan to continue tomorrow (for I need sleep). Keep this up (if its not done after chapter 3), I hope to see more! Oh, and also 5 stars! SHAZAM!
Don't worry ROB, we still love you!
ReplyDeleteI found this fic to be very illogical; Big Maintosh seemed too pathetic, and it did seem strange than in all these years in Ponyville he wouldn't have made ANY friends, or at least had people know who he was.
ReplyDelete@anon & @iapplebuck DOUBLE FAILS
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHey! We actually brought that up in the pre-reader group. Glad someone agrees.
It looks like Applejack is checking Mac out in that picture.
ReplyDelete@Delta Pangaea - Thanks man... *brohoof*
ReplyDelete@Anonymous and Sethisto - Well, yes that does seem off. But then again, with nothing about Mac himself from the show we don't really know ANYTHING about him. From the few lines, and scenes he has been in, this does actually seem like a legitimate case for Mac.
The odds of not making any friends, or going out isn't that astronomical after all. I mean, if how some of us believe that Mac lives, he's that humble, down to earth pony. Respecting his family, and working hard. So really, growing up on a farm what else does he do but work? And his family would be his usual social outlet from the looks of it.
This author did a good job showing the relationship of Mac with his sisters and granny (though Mac's outburst before Granny Smith's interjection was a little jarring for his character, or what we THINK of his character).
I do agree also that none of the other ponies knew him, but the mane five (not counting AJ) know who he is, or at least Twilight does (still only on two). And I don't see Mac being "pathetic", I mean its obvious the author is going to draw out some of Mac's ghosts from his past, so he's just giving us some small bits to set them up.
Now, also I realize everyone (or everypony, I forget) has their own views on different characters. Its going to happen, that is why there are so many different fan fics out there. And I have to say, this one seems to be one of my favorite Mac ones to date, and I'm not even done!
i laughed harder then i shouldve at:
ReplyDeleteMagnets: How do they work
Yay it got posted! /)^3^(\
ReplyDeleteGlad to see all the positive feedback! Thanks for reading!
I actually had a custom image that I drew for it. I sent it to Sethisto again, so hopefully it'll get used, but here it is:
http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/5750/macintosh.png
Oh, and I should mention: while this is not a continuation of my last fanfic 'Opposites' and it's not necessary to read that one first, there are some elements that are carried over and some jokes you may not get in the later chapters if you hadn't read it first. Just so you know :)
He does seem a little shyer than I'd expect him, but overall it's pretty good. The only thing I can nitpick is that of all the ponies, he should have know Rainbow Dash. Her and Applejack are probably the two closest friends in the mane six and if Fall Weather Friends is any indication, they do hang out on the farm.
ReplyDeleteOh! Almost forgot:
ReplyDelete@ROB: Yeah, you pretty much completely made my case for me :)
The other ponies do recognize Macintosh from the times they've come around the farm, but Macintosh never took the time to get to know them personally, as I said in the story. With AppleJack caught up with her friends it just meant there was extra work to do.
I can see how BigMac not knowing anypony on a somewhat personal level is a bit far-fetched. Yet, its not completely impossible either. As said, people have different takes on characters. I don't really mind so much. I also don't find him pathetic to be honest.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm enjoying this quite a bit. The interactions are fun, for the most part. Its written well enough. I'll be here for chapter 4.
I like it. Sure, Mac not knowing anypony is odd, but hey. He has a unique model all for himself, which is pretty odd by itself.
ReplyDeleteHe strikes me as he quiet sort, plus the whole "If you're not working, start" thing his dad had going...
Frankly, that's stupid. Life's for enjoying, not working! Working is only so you've got the money to keep of having fun!
Plus it seems like Mac's gonna have a whole mess of fun at that there party...
@TotalOverflow
ReplyDeleteWell, I try. Just keep this up, I'm sure you will pull through with this story.
I don't understand why everyone is discussing about the premise of the story. This is fan fiction, everything is possible.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know is wierd to have Mac as a complete outcast, but I really like the story, So I don't have complaints.
The description instantly turns me off. What's with so many fanfics involving "demons from the past."
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLet me try this again:
ReplyDeleteI just read chapter 1 of this. I dunno. There's really nothing to say that this isn't a valid interpretation of Big Mac's character, and I suppose Mac is almost like Luna in that regard in that Mac is basically a blank slate for the author to do (nearly) anything he or she wants with him. And the reasoning given in the first chapter is (mostly) perfectly reasonable to justify the way he is portrayed in this story (I've personally known people who had the same types of lives and basically acted the same way).
But I think I'll need to read a couple more chapters before I can weigh in more clearly. To be sure, there is nothing really wrong with what is going on. The story is quite well-written, and nearly all of the justifications given for what is going on seem straightforward so far (and the fact that Big Mac doesn't really know the Mane Six outside of their association with his sister is a "know that you mention it" kind of idea that I could see being the case for most of the group. I do think it is kind of odd that he doesn't know who Rainbow Dash is by sight, though.); but I'm just not sure if I'm comfortable with Big Mac as he is in the story. Personal thing on my part rather than a problem with the story itself.
@Tenchifreak5:
ReplyDeleteThat's completely fair. It's my own personal rule to not rate a story until I've read the whole thing (with rare exceptions). Thank you for taking the time to read it regardless and be willing to read more as it's uploaded; I hope you enjoy it and your issues are put to rest.
Actually, thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read and comment! I really do appreciate it! :)
You guys raised a pretty good point, actually...I didn't want to do any changes after it was uploaded, but I think this one was important.
ReplyDeleteIn Chapter 2, just after the race with RD, she introduces herself and I added that Mac finally recognizes her. You can read it for yourself, if you want. Really, I should have caught that sooner.
embarrassed.jpg
TotalOverflow you just be taking over Equestria Daily.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one baffled by Fluttershy's peculiarly large wings in that one scene?
ReplyDeleteI apologize if I didn't get the reference or missed something.
Wow, (only on chapter 3 so far) from Macintosh's character, the amount of "He seems like me" is going high off my charts. The only things different I see from me is that I am Northern, not a pony and not a farmer.
ReplyDeleteOops! The prologue didn't get posted! I sent it to Sethisto, so it should get posted here soonish, but here it is for you all:
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1KA1SlHEFku0cXeKm9kGufZ4tJEpCl2ozCTY09OJvXC4/edit?hl=en_US
Of course, it's in the FF.net link, but there's the google docs one. Sorry about the mix-up, guys!
Is it just me or this story is somehow connected with "Luna vs ..." fanfic, 'cos in this fanfic we have Big Mac who makes wish to Luna about his own wings, and plenty other little things somehow connected to ''Luna vs..."
ReplyDeleteOr I'm just slowpoke and everybody already mentioned this
@...above. How the heck am I supposed to type that?
ReplyDeleteI actually started writing this story before 'Progress 5: Luna VS Lodging Part 3' came out. That's the one with the 'blind' date with Macintosh. I was excited that the author and I had a similar idea for Macintosh, so I contacted him about it. I asked for his permission to incorporate some of his ideas into my story, and he was okay with it.
@TotalOverflow
ReplyDeleteOh.. wow, so awesome, its realy interesting to see the story from side of Big Mac, thank you for this great fic
PS. sorry, it was my google account
@wesmir
ReplyDeleteHey, no problem :)
It's not really meant to be part of the Luna VS/Progress series (which I love), but I wrote it in a way that it can lead into it. I've always liked the idea of a sort of continuing fanficdom, where ideas and plot points can be carried over from one story to another.
I love it Please continue
ReplyDeleteThis story is great, I like how Big Mac is portrayed and his interactions with others, and then theres the book titles, Magnets: How Do They Work and The Adventures of Captain Sethisto made me laugh
ReplyDeleteThis is sooo Visual Novel scenario. I love it!
ReplyDeleteAlso, references to Luna vs Microwave made me hold to my head. Seriously, when I realized it I had that sudden urge to hold to my head or otherwise it would explode.
ReplyDeleteMacintosh's wishes to educate himself and reading with Twilight reminded me to some degree of Educating Rita, and I've spotted no errors or anything. 5 stars from moi, and I hope to see more soon. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm hooked. A great spin on the established character. He is, as you've portrayed him, exactly how he came across to me from the show. Nice work. :D
ReplyDeleteFellow bronies, a "McIntosh" is a red apple. A "Macintosh" is a computer. One is a red apple, one is a computer built by Apple. Raskin, a guy who worked on the first Apple Macintosh computer wanted to name the thing after his favorite kind of apple: namely, the McIntosh. Just FYI.
ReplyDeleteThis story made me rage...HARD.
ReplyDeleteSeeing Big Mac's past with his abusive dad literally made me want to go break shit, and to see how it affects his relationships with his peers, especially Pinkie Pie, really broke my heart. I hope that you update this soon, because I want to see how Mac overcomes his past, and sends a big symbolic "FUCK YOU!" to his dad.
:( When is he going to make amends with Pinkie Pie? You CAN'T stay mad at her... You CAN'T.
ReplyDeleteALL MY STARS. TAKE THEM!
ReplyDeleteI think you can get a little more mileage out of the bitter, brooding Macintosh that's still mad at Pinkie. It's becoming a little cliché having everypony be friends with and be oh so willing to forgive Pinkie because she's Pinkie. It'd be nice to make her actually face up to the consequences of her antics, if only for once. I kind of had one of those childhoods too, 'cept it was a teacher deliberately making me a laughing stock instead of a random but well-meaning pink party pony, so I wasn't just bitter, I also did my best to hate him to death.
ReplyDeleteMac's earning big points with me too for his reaction to obnoxiously loud music. I'm the only one I know who regularly carries ear plugs when I'm dragged out to some awful club because they usually play music there at volume levels that cause me physical pain.
Well done, can't wait to read more.
I enjoyed it, and hope you update soon, but yeah, Big Mac's characterization kinda threw me off at first.
ReplyDeleteThat was so sweet how he wished for Scootalo to get better. I hope Luna will grant his wish. And that someone will tell him that Twilight than grant his desire to fly.
ReplyDeleteHey guys! Thanks again for the positive comments; I hope I can satisfy you all with the rest of the story!
ReplyDeleteI thought Sethisto would embed this in here, but oh well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkHSZXk1_sw&feature=channel_video_title
There's a little something I wrote for Vinyl Scratch to get you all in the mood during the party scene in chapter 5. Enjoy!
As she is my favorite, I demand closure with Pinkie Pie, or else! No survivors~!
ReplyDelete... Sorry.
Any-who, allow me to thank you for keeping me up all night reading this. Forced all-nighters can go so smoothly with a good read, and this really did the trick. If Season 2 continues to give Big Macintosh little screen-time, your story will definitely be my reference guide for him. I think this is the most believable interpretation of him - evah!
I await the next chapter with much anticipation~
""Nah, we just ate there for supper," said Rose, much to Macintosh's relief, "I heard Lyra has a friend from out of town performing with her at the amphitheater, want to check that out?""
ReplyDeleteAt that part I pointed at the screen with my fingers and said "Ha!". I like where it is going.
Okay. I'll admit that you won me over with this. I read up through Chapter 5 and I still wasn't sure where I stood on the issue, but the scene at the very end of the chapter manages to pull it off.
ReplyDeleteI'm really enjoying this story. I love seeing side character's get fleshed out, and I really like what you're doing with Mac's history. All the characters are pretty spot on. Also, I really like your writing style. It's clever, it's descriptive, it flows well. I can visualize what's going on really easily. Keep up the good work, looking forward to the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this. Everypony's characters are spot on, as are Mac's interactions with, and feelings towards, them (yes, even Pinkie), his concern for Scoots is particularly charming, as is his inner conflict regarding the conflicting secrets and promises he's been thrust into maintaining.
ReplyDeleteI'm also pleasantly surprised to find myself caring more and more about the three flower mares, well not so much Lily because she seems to be a Pinkie Pie-Lite with a possible side order of psychic thrown in. But the other two, I'm really interested to know what history Daisy and Cheerilee have, and Roseluck's just adorable. Is there gonna be some shipping there? Normally I can't stand that nonsense, but I think I'd be okay with it here between Mac and Rose. Not that I think it's required, of course; Mac's probably got more than enough on his plate already.
As always, I eagerly await the next chapters.
Damn good read. Can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteI love the story so far, and I keep thirsting to read the next installment. One observation though, It seems as though every time Big Macintosh rambles into town, he seems to get all chored up (as in everyone is always having him do things for them). Not a bad thing, but it just reminds me of the song "The Weight" from The Band. Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to read the next.
I read all the available chapters (1 - 8) in one sitting, it was that enjoyable. I'm really taking a new liking to Mac, thanks for writing this wonderful story! I'll look forward future releases :)
ReplyDeleteSuch a compelling story, Mac's rationalization reflects so well I almost forget that this is Big Mac. How he struggles with his inner demon and attempts to keep promises without breaking them, very interesting. Bravo for making me relate to the last pony I thought possible!
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning, it was a bit hard for me to enjoy the stoy, but it started to grow on me as more and more chapters were posted.
ReplyDeleteAs a form of compliment, I'll mention Big M's presence and actions causing all sorts of changes around Ponyville remind me of Forrest Gump.
Also, totally loved the reference to "Best Night Ever", when Blues becomes a cyclops for a second.
The flashbacks with his father, for better or worse, are a very smart way to reach out to a brony. Fatherhood is serious business.
Keep it up; I'm eagerly waiting the next update. Your writing is very good, if not superb.
Likin' it so far, the only complaint I have is Mac using y'all when he's just talking to/about a single pony. Considering "y'all" is a contraction for "you all", it doesn't make sense. BUT! I like it just the same. :)
ReplyDeleteHeh. Yer turning Big Mac in a regular Mary Poppins over here.
ReplyDelete@sunbeamer you'd be surprised that a lot of people with souther drawl do that. i know my whole family does (texas oklahoma new mexico area)
ReplyDeletefrom what i've seen it's more common in rural areas then in cities
Why is Big Macintosh wearing a cape in the preview pic?
ReplyDeleteDamn another update?! You're living up to your name!
ReplyDeleteWait..You can't assume Big McIntosh doesn't have any friends. Everybody in Ponyville knows eachother, plus Big Mac appears in the crowd during some of the episodes..I forget though. Like in Winter Wrap Up, he goes to tell Applejack that Caramel lost the seeds.
ReplyDelete@Mr.Chang
ReplyDeleteBut good stories regardless
@Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony
ReplyDeleteIt's because he tried to use the cape to fly when he was just a little pony. The picture is of him as little pony looking up at the pegasi.
"HARK I AM DEAD".
ReplyDeleteLol'd hard.
3 new chapters already! You are now my favorite author.
ReplyDeleteMOAR.
ReplyDeleteYay more updates!
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, I'm really disappointed in Big Mac's mother. She just saw Big Mac's father beat him and then she tells Mac to go back and apologize to his father and just do what he's told. That's pretty messed up.
ReplyDelete@Shadow Dragon
ReplyDeleteHit home to me. Your average Midwestern farm family a generation back, that'd be normal.
I finally caught up on this story, and it actually kind of works with the whole "getting a cutie mark you don't want" thing. I mean, this kind of stuff could actually be canon... if you cut out the parental abuse and whatnot.
ReplyDeleteThen again, that'd detract from the whole thing, so maybe it's for the best. Anyways, great read.
Wow, this story...really strikes a chord with me. It's masterfully written, Big Mac's personality is truly flawless. I can really sympathize with Big Mac's feelings, and you have depicted them with a true feeling of reality. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteHey guys! Thanks again for taking the time to read, rate and comment! Really appreciate the feedback, and I'm very glad that you all enjoy it! :)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say again that if you haven't read my first fanfic 'Opposites,' then there will be a few things that may confuse you in the next few chapters. Again, it's not necessary to read 'Opposites' first, but just so you know ;)
I wish I could say something heart felt and amazing about this story but all I can say is how happy I am with it and how great it is
ReplyDeleteTotalOverflow, this is a really compelling story. It seems totally believable to me, despite what a few might have said otherwise. Hnnnggg, I can't wait to read more of this! I hope we don't have to wait too long for some more of this brilliant story. :3
ReplyDeleteRead the chapter.
ReplyDeleteTHUMP
Start with another one.
Read another chapter.
ReplyDeleteGASP
D'awww.
Wait not-so-patiently for another chapter.
You're doing a great job mate! Plot is quite simple and it looks like taken from some adventure game (get stuff for someone - acquire respect and good karma).
You know, I think I do agree. Big Mac totally has the wrong cutie mark. It should be a golden heart.
ReplyDeleteI swear, this fic reads like a list of things to do for quests in an RPG! Not that I'm complaining, it just seems as though the entire story is a big Chekhov's Gun.
ReplyDeleteOh man, you were doing so well, too.
ReplyDeletePop-culture references are low-blows in fanfics, and it kills me every time I see one.
@ Anon 10:14
ReplyDeleteHmm, didn't like it, eh? I guess it was a little out of place...
Removed.
*Reading chapter 9*
ReplyDeleteHmm... I haven't refreshed this page in a day or so, though I doubt the author has posted any more seeing as it was updated with 3 chapters yesterday
*F5*
AHH TWO MORE CHAPTERS! ʸᵃʸ
Thank you for everything you have done.
Just read the new chapters (14 and 15) love that you update so fast, and i'm loving this story a lot, though it seems like Macintosh is going to have a freaking harem by the end of this >_>
ReplyDeleteThis story is amazing. The way you wrote it makes it my favorite fanfic so far :)
ReplyDeleteWhee! Even more of one of my favorite fics! How many other fanfics can boast multiple-chapter updates, and so quickly too? Overflow, you are a machine.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think Macintosh'd be the one to get creamed by his negligence, I figured that it'd either be one of the flower mares or one of the CMC. Thinking about it, the way it turned out was probably for the best.
Just one thing though, I was surprised none of Mac's new friends showed up to see how he was. While I can see how they'd be busy preparing to the exclusion of everything else, I imagine word would have spread around town pretty quickly that Mac had stopped a tidal wave of timber in its tracks, as much because of how easily it could have killed him as how downright awesome it was.
And Josh, let's face it. If anypony was gonna have a harem, it was always gonna be Big Macintosh.
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete"
And Josh, let's face it. If anypony was gonna have a harem, it was always gonna be Big Macintosh. "
Second that.
Seriously, it's just like japanese VN - a guy comes into town, meet girls, help the girls, love for him all around. We've even the "that girl from childhood" around here!
just read the whole thing and loved it, keep writing :D
ReplyDeleteHmm . . . this is both clever and irritating. I've only read the first 2 chapters so far but I couldn't continue. The premise is very good, but the execution needs a little work.
ReplyDeleteEvery character is way too aggressive (except for the O.C.s) R.D. absolutely does not have an 'I'm better that everypony else for every reason' attitude, Twilight does not blame EVERYTHING on Spike, and Big Macintosh (from what we know of him) would not be so angry and bitter (furthermore I REALLY don't think that both of his sisters would be afraid that he might become violent because of a verbal disagreement)
I'll TRY to read some more tonight but no promises. From what I've gathered you are probably a deeply spiritual person or someone close you you was. The constant references to debasing female characters who are independent is a sure sign of Catholicism at it's finest (which is worst for others). I also gather that you were frequently and severely beaten as a child, also that you despise and HATE your own father, it shows, a lot.
I pity you sir. You must have have so much anger and bitterness and hate for it to come out so strongly in your work which would otherwise be exceptional.
Misogynist!
ReplyDelete@ Anon 2:54
ReplyDeleteo.o
Um, wow, you're really off the mark.
RD has professed herself to be better than everpony else in the show, and Twilight would be more cautious with Spike after he lied about her book in EP24, and besides, look again: she only 'blames' him for 2 things.
What do we really know about Big Macintosh? The show sure hasn't given us much. And I never said he'd become violent.
I am not catholic. I don't see how you think I'm debasing women, either. I was never beaten by my father as a child, and I love him very, very much. I do not have father issues, but I have known people who have and read/watched enough stories to be able to write them.
You're reading waaaay too much into this.
@TotalOverflow
ReplyDeleteLove this fic, and I really don't understand why people have been complaining over the characterisation of Big Mac. I've found it pretty believable from the start.
I can't wait for the next chapters (and given your history I can't imagine I'll be waiting long).
Also, @Anon 2:54
While I understand that you may not agree with some of the author's choices, I don't see how you thought you could accurately judge his life history on the basis of one fanfic.
"
ReplyDelete"And Josh, let's face it. If anypony was gonna have a harem, it was always gonna be Big Macintosh. "
Second that.
Seriously, it's just like japanese VN - a guy comes into town, meet girls, help the girls, love for him all around. We've even the "that girl from childhood" around here!"
Heh, that is true. And to the anon trying to tear this story and the author a new one...just chill.
@TotalOverflow
ReplyDeleteI gotta agree on that decision; that reference was funny, but didn't fit in at all. It reads better without it.
This is one of the stories I"m following really close, I'm looking forward to more!
I was a bit behind on yon chapters, but I've just read the latest 3 and got myself up to date. I must say, I love this tale because Big Mac is so relatable for me. The run-away logs idea was a great twist. It's the first fic in a long time that's had me on the edge of my seat.
ReplyDeletei love the speed u work at i love you i love Everypony
ReplyDeleteThis guy rocks!
ReplyDeleteMan, you really spit out those chapters! Here I am always hoping an author updates his/her story soon, and now I'M the one falling behind! Keep it up, my good man!
ReplyDeleteNow that I've caught up - glee! Too much to say considering how much I've missed, so I'll just comment on the latest chapter... brilliant, of course! I'm gonna have to agree with the harem statement; Big Mac is starting to show he's quite the stud. Next thing we know Fluttershy is going to be holding Twilight back with the Stare as Lily storms in with a potato cannon! But anywho~
Yeah, not much else to say that hasn't been said, really. Not one to criticize, there's always someone out there to do that. Like our... other "helpful" Anonymous up there. (Take a step back with all that unwarranted assumptions there, friend.)
So, obvious praise and all that jazz. Please continue!
Oh right, forgot to mention...
ReplyDeleteLOVED the Alfalfa Monster reference. Our pony overlord would "BLEEEEEEEH" in your honor!
Wonderful, been following this fro the whole week, and the story is really like no other. It's nice to see a semi-main character have a full story to himself.
ReplyDeleteDamn, 'Total', you're just 'overflowing' with chapters! I just turn around and next thing I know, two new chapters! I LOVE YOU. That is amazing. Thanks for being so prompt, and for attaining to a very high standard of writing for each chapter too! I can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteAlso....
Lily x Mac
Twi x Mac
Flutter x Mac
I now want all of these. Confound these ponies, they drive me to shipping!
Is it just me or is this fic getting new chapters out faster than usual? Not that that's a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteYou. Are. A. God!
ReplyDeleteI actually found this whilst browsing on fanfiction.net and read chapter 1 out of curiosity. It's simply amazing. I really like how you've portrayed Big Mac's charcter as well as the other ponies. Your grammar and spelling is excellent and the chapters are a really nice length. (I can't stand fanfics that have 2 paragraph chapters)
You've got waiting with bated breath for the next chapter. Keep up the awesome work!
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteNo, it's definitely not you. Total pumps these things out in volume and quality bordering on the supernatural.
Hey, I'mma make blind assumptions about the author based on this one fic: he's a wizard. And he has a time turner. No other explanation.
You write an awesome story at a very fast rate. It's been mentioned a lot before but you really managed to write something excellent. I seriously cried multiple times (no book/film ever did that to me before, and suddenly a fan fiction succeeds, multiple times.) and if it's not touching, it's funny. Can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteI actually really like this fic! I was hesitant because it's so long and because of the "demons of the past" thing...so melodramatic...but it's emotionally realistic and funny. Some of the situations are a little TOO perfect: the chapter with Caesar is a case in point. Still, it's entertaining as hell. I'm looking forward to how it ends.
ReplyDeleteCan I just put a sidenote, here, though? And this has bothered me from the show to the fanfics. I am VERY Southern - Applejack and I have similar accents. For instance, I do pronounce my "I" like "Ah." But people. PLEASE. The word "y'all" is never used to refer to just one person. We do know how to say "you" here in the South. "Y'all" means "you all," which refers to a group. I would never say, "Applejack, y'all know you're a silly pony." IT SOUNDS SO WRONG.
So remember: when writing AJ and Mac's accents, PLEASE keep it real! When speaking in second person singular, say "you." When speaking in secon person plural, say "y'all."
Southern Grammar lesson over. ^_^
Applejack, you're such a silly pony!
ReplyDeleteI almost died :D
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI almost burst out laughing, which would've woken up my roommate. Damn, I love the little jokes and references in this story, haha.
Wow, this is interesting. I do think that AT FIRST (and only at first) some of the characters did seem a touch over the top (though nowhere as extreme at Anon 2:54 made it out to be, wow um rage much?). As the story progressed it became utterly addictive, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH! I NEED MORE! MORE MORE MORE MORE! . . .
ReplyDeleteAhem, yes it is quite good sir. Big Macintosh has been one of my favorite characters since the series began and I use him a great deal in my own story (The Vagabond).
I applaud you sir, you have accomplished in a matter of days, what has taken me months to pull off, and you're doing it better. I have and will continue to recommend readers take a look at your work, it is very impressive. I will be reading the new chapters tonight. Huzah!
This is definitely in the top 3 for my favorite fics of all time.
ReplyDeleteSo...Big Mackintosh's true talent is...
ReplyDeleteSocial Networking?
Still no new chapter.
ReplyDeleteDamn.
Anyway, as somebody said before, I'm surprised that only Lily came to visit. Ponyville is just a village, words travel fast. After all he done to, like, half of the Ponyville nobody came.
Well, the idea is that everyone is extremely busy with preparations for the celebration, but I've added a line in the end of chapter 13:
ReplyDelete"Applejack came in the room and woke him up every couple of hours like the doctors said to give him water, and he was pretty sure that Cheerilee, Lightning Bolt and a few other ponies came to visit, but he was too tired to remember anything they said."
This story. Freaking d'aaawwww.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I hoped for more interaction between Mac and Luna.
Still, d'awwwwww.
Just finished, no spoilers, like you asked, but i'd love to see something in the future with Big Mac again from you, even just a one shot.
ReplyDeleteThis was amazing.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
Total Overflow, you've totally overflowed ED with your constant updates. I look forward to your next story.
ReplyDeleteSoooo good
ReplyDeleteCompleted it before it was posted 'Complete' on ED, (thanks fanfiction.net) and it was one of the best stories I've had the pleasure of reading.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work, I can't wait to read some more of you writing.
Its... It's over? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAll in all, this has officially become my favorite fanfiction on this site. Even more than my Dr. Whoof or Luna ones.
I hope to find many more stories by you in the future!
Finished it, and I must say it was the best fic I have ever read, I enjoyed it very much. Hope you decide to continue your series about Big mac, you did such a good job.
ReplyDeleteThe link for the Epilogue isn't working.
ReplyDeleteOOPS.
ReplyDeleteSent Sethisto an email; hopefully it gets fixed soon. In the meantime, you can use the FF.Net link.
Sorry guys!
But I'm glad you all like it! Man, it's so close to becoming a 6 star story XP
this was one of the best fanfics i have ever read, scratch that, this IS the best fanfic i have ever read, PROPS TO TOTALOVERFLOW, btw i like that the updates were constant
ReplyDeleteThis is right up there with Fallout Equestria with one of the best fanfics I've ever read. I always loved the more-than-meets-the-eye-but-still-down-to-earth Big Macintosh, and this is just the epitome of that type of characterization.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I don't like is that it's over. :(
Although I could see some potential for a good shipping/comedy sequel about how Big Macintosh and Luna end up getting together...
that was amazing!!! i have been going on everyday to see if the new ones were up!! now i'm just sad that it's over :( you are an awesome writer
ReplyDeleteIt was a great story. Though I am a little sad that poor Big Mac didn't get to fly, despite knowing a unicorn with a flight spell.
ReplyDeleteIs the Epilogue suposed to link back to Episode 16?
ReplyDeleteThe epilogue link is broken; hopefully it'll be fixed soon, but in the meantime, you can check out the epilogue on FF.net.
ReplyDelete@ Shadow Dragon:
lol, I'm not sure Macintosh could abide flying on great butterfly wings :P
Fantastic! Extremely enjoyable and a real pleasure to read!
ReplyDelete"Hey bronies!" Vinyl Scratch announced her arrival...
ReplyDeleteI see what you did there.
Hands down my favorite fanfic. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI just started this fanfiction, and also just finished it. I stayed up late reading up to Chapter 14 and was very pleased to see the rest of the fanfic appear so quickly!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, you took a character we don't know much about from the show and fleshed him out, gave him a history, demons, and dreams. I will never look at Big Macintosh in quite the same way again.
I absolutely loved this fanfic. The story was absolutely amazing and well thought out.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, Daft Pony?
Shoulda had just one scene in the epilogue where Twilight used the flutterwing spell on him.
ReplyDeleteWas I the only one, who wanted Big Mac to actually get shipped with one of this mares?
ReplyDeleteMacintosh is probably one of my favorite ponies now.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, thank you for putting in the time.
ReplyDeleteGotta love those endings where you just feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This is definitely going into my recommendations list; it was a very fun ride.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see what you have in store next!
WHY THE **** IS THIS NOT SIX STARS! I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF, SETHISTO, IF YOU DO NOT FIX THIS ATROCITY!
ReplyDelete*rage-smashes keyboard to fcxkjxdjmcxjuxjhmuxjujhmjhhjghfhjldkxzdkj
I think this is my favorite fanfic of all time right now, I just loved it :3
ReplyDeleteSorta half expected Macintosh to get shipped with Cherilee, Rose, Daisy, Fluttershy, or somebody else in the epilogue but after reading it I was glad there was no shipping :D
I can't believe it's over! That was a beautiful ending to a fantastic, 6-star fic. Thanks for your efforts, TotalOverflow.
ReplyDeleteThough I think I have to hope for some sort of "aftermath" addition now. :D
This story was just beautiful, a great look into Macintosh's character that makes me wish it could become actual cannon.
ReplyDeleteThat was a heartwarming and emotional tale. Pitty we never got to see him fly, but it's still one of the few fics I've read that gave me a warm feeling on the inside.
ReplyDeleteLoved how he helped so many unintentionally to the point that it felt like watching a string of neatly placed diminoes fall over into place.
Keep up the excellent work.
Loved this fic, I really think it deserves a 6-star rating! It's rare to see such a well-written and heartwarming story that doesn't stray into grimdark or shipping territory. I know I already mentioned this in a previous comment, but I especially liked how you characterised Macintosh as a quiet, thoughtful and good-natured individual, and how you slowly fleshed-out his character through memories of his childhood.
ReplyDeleteIn a way I'm sad that it's over, but on the other hand I'm looking forward to reading your next project. Keep up the great work, you've obviously got a talent for writing.
Oh, and with that 'P.S' comment at the end of the epilogue... I see what you did there.
TotalOverflow,
ReplyDeleteThat was just wonderful!! I hated to see it end.
I am in total agreement with all the prase you have received.
Thank You!!
I look forward to your next fic, whatever it may be.
Untill then, I need to read your first story!
Ok, its over. As I stated before, you turned Big Mac into a regular Mary Poppins :P Everything just magically works out for everypony, and somehow Big Mac is at the center of it all. A bit to easy, maybe. The ending... its a bit cliché maybe. Not sure why there would be a guest of honor at the celebration suddenly, there is no mention of such a thing in the episode. Then again, I suppose the Celebration was interrupted there. Perhaps it is customary. I'm a little peeved we do not get to see BigMac purchase any romantic pursuits. You keep dropping hints, with various ponies. Twilight seems the most obvious, but there is also Cheerilee, Fluttershy, Daisy, Rose... And yet we end up with nothing :P You're mean.
ReplyDeleteI'm slightly disappointed with the way you handled Derpy. I kinda liked your take on her in Opposites, she could at least talk normal. Yet here you apparently found it necessary to have her in a state of excitement for the entire story.
Overall though, I have enjoyed your fic quite a bit and I was glad to see an update whenever one appeared. The issues I have with it certainly did not prevent me from reading it. Till next time, I hope :)
Saw Macintosh was updated, then saw "Complete" in the title.
ReplyDeleteNever before has a smile dropped so rapidly from my face.
So ends one of my favorite fics. It's been fun. *single tear*
I probably say this too much, but stellar work, truly first-class. I could easily see this being Mac's canon character, in fact I'd be surprised if he was even slightly different from this. I could even see what happened between him and Pinkie being a canon setup for some moral about not holding a grudge in a future episode.
As to shipping, I don't normally go for it but I wouldn't have minded seeing something develop with Rose, although pretty much any of the mares would have been feasible with the amount of teases you dropped, I mean, seriously, goddamn, son. But I'm actually really glad you stayed away from it, the story didn't need it, and it probably would have limited the enjoyment of those who's "OTP" didn't fit your narrative.
Once again, excellent work. I can't wait to read your future works (which I can only pray update in the frequency, quantity and quality as Macintosh).
This has been possibly one of the most amazing things I have ever read. Ever. Once I completed it, I found myself crying, and they were definitely tears of joy. If there's ever new MLP movies? This story deserves one. Oh, does it ever deserve one. Thank you for writing such a wonderful tale!
ReplyDeleteduuuuuuuuude, this totally deserves a book II, this has been the best book I've ever read (not on equestriadaily.com, but anywhere... seriously)...
ReplyDeleteYou should consider either doing a sequel or some other pony's life, even though Big Mac was perfect for this
Once again, excellent work, man!
Well! It's all done! By far the longest thing I've ever written...so far! ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you all for reading, commenting and rating! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I put a lot of thought into it...I really wanted to make a coherent character study. Hopefully I succeeded!
Certainly not perfect, but what is? I've learned a lot by writing this, and hopefully I will only get better.
As for the shipping, well...I can't say I didn't have a few ideas when I set out with this story, even though I'm really not into shipping. But as I wrote this story, I realized that this story was about Macintosh and his family. A relationship had no place in it.
Although...An Aftermath story sounds interesting...Well, we'll have to wait and see ;)
I don't know what I'm planning on writing next. I've wanted to write a pure adventure story, but I also want to write a short comedy. I'm sort of interested in writing a children's story, too. Maybe I'll write the rest of "Fortress of Fire?"
@Communist_Colt:
Lol, you mean Progress? XP
Oh, and @Baree:
ReplyDeleteIt's still the same version of Ditzy/Derpy that I'm working with, but whenever she appears in this story it was when she had something to be happy and excited about. If there were calmer moments for her to appear in, she would have been just as easy to understand as usual. If I do write an Aftermath, I'll probably deal with her a little bit.
Or maybe I shouldn't say things like that, or else everyone will assume I am going to write an aftermath :P
Thank you for taking us along on this great ride, good sir.
ReplyDeleteJust finished a marathon read, and I gotta say that this is, in my opinion, the best fanfic I've ever read. Thanks for the story, TotalOverflow, and I can't wait for you to do more.
ReplyDeleteHaha, thanks guys :)
ReplyDeleteHow long is an aftermath on average, anyways? 3, 4 pages?
This was amazing! I freaking laughed so hard when mac thought to himself "wait, celestia wouldn't frustrate ponies on purpose would she?" (a homage to trollestia) I finished all the chapters in 1 sitting and it was brilliant. I wish this was its own little MLP spinoff movie.
ReplyDeleteTotalOverflow, You did an amazing job with this fic. I salute you.
ReplyDelete@TotalOverflow
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure they are at least 20 pages long. Eyup. Trust me on this one. Seriously.
It's basic math! Just look - you take amount of chapters of story (prologue and epilogue excluded) and add 1/4 of it. Here you go - you've got exact number of pages for aftermath!
TRUST ME I SAY
Really good read. Loved it. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is really the best fanfic I've read until now. Not just because Big Macintosh is my favourite side character and you portrayed him just as I felt he was like but also because the story is excellent and you use a perfect language. It never bored me while reading, in fact I could read it at once unless I stopped myself to read in a longer period for enjoying it more.
ReplyDeleteOh my god.
ReplyDeleteWords have failed me, I simply cannot describe this fanfiction. Suffice to say it is the single greatest fic I have ever read. I was putting it off for the sole reason of it being about a background character, but on a lonely night I decided to grin and bear it. I was greeted with a wonderful surprise in the fiction.
TotalOverflow, I thank you for bringing this... masterpiece into creation.
I read it for the BTTF reference. :P
ReplyDeleteThis was an excellently done story. The entire thing was fantastic, but I almost died in Chapter 12 when everything started falling into place. It was just hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI am also amazed at how much you wrote here. I don't remember the exact timeline, but that was an astounding number of words that seemed to update very quickly to the end. I can hardly believe how much some people can write in a short time.
Finally, it's time to play editor! I do have a couple grammar nitpicks (and these really are nitpicks, since the story was excellently done overall, but they bothered me enough that I wanted to comment on them anyway). Firstly, double capitalizing compound words. BloomBerg, AppleLoosa, NightMare, the WonderBolts... I don't know if it's technically incorrect, but it's unusual enough to throw me off. Secondly, in the last chapter. It's a barrel roll. No one is taking on the role of a barrel.
That is all. Fantastic story.
@A Terrible Person:
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback! I'm not too sure on how those sorts of things should be capitalized either, but personally I kinda liked the way it looked like that. I don't know if it's right or not, though.
And barrel rolls! I just caught that and changed it like an hour or two before you commented! I am ashamed that I didn't catch that on any of my proof-reads! Please, someone pass me a shame sandwich for me to consume!
Lol, I really don't know how I missed that. XP
@Anon 5:50
Back to the future??
@everyone else:
Thanks again for reading, rating and commenting! It looks like it made a 6star rating! That is awesome!! Thank you all!!
Like a Boss, I said I would follow this story after Chapter 5 converted me. And Like a Boss, I neglected to do so, putting it off as it continually updated and eventually completed. So, Like a Boss, I downloaded the whole thing to my PSP and forced myself to read the entire thing in one sitting. And I'm glad that I did.
ReplyDeleteYou've crafted a bittersweet (leaning towards sweet), believable tale that I really think fits well with the loveable lug. Wise beyond his appearance, humble, helpful and dependable to a fault but still flawed and conflicted character that at least one Brony I know really, really connected with. And, hell, I know someone in real life that is practically the spitting image in personality, so I got a good connection as well.
I loved how Big Mac was constantly fighting himself between doing what he thought was best and doing what he promised he would do, and how everything ultimately came together as he creatively thought how to work through his problems and those of his new friends. And I love how the ending, while pretty good for everypony involved, was not content with just giving everypony the best ending imaginable and instead stuck to more realistic conclusions.
And the best part was that he was humble right up the the end. Manly tears for real when he was rewarded for all of his kindness and he still didn't think he deserved it.
Also, I did reread it a second time (well, truthfully it was more like skimming it), and I did really get a bit more out of the second read than I did the first, which is always the sign of a really well written story. The story takes on a more somber tone when you have a better grasp of what makes Big Mac the way he is, and because of it the payoff at the end is that much better (though, if I'm being honest, I think the pendulum swings more towards the bitter end of the bittersweet scale on the second read through).
I had two (really minor) problems with it.
1: You seemed to (and correct me if I'm wrong) be trying to portray Big Mac's father as a somewhat sympathetic character right through the end. And, fair enough. I mean, I hated him from the very first flashback, but I could see why these things aren't black and white. Macintosh was clearly the unfavorite from early on in the story, long before it was made obvious that his father loved Applejack more.
All children with brothers and sisters have felt that way, and I think you really portrayed the sadness the Macintosh felt when he first realized that in his flashbacks perfectly. But pickings favorites, perceived or real, is a very realistic thing, and went well towards painting the father as a conflicted Pony rather than just a complete asshole.
Then Chapter 11 happened, and the entire extent of my feelings towards him could be summed up as "Fuck that guy." I almost threw my PSP across the room I got so pissed off, and nothing that was revealed in the later chapters seethed my loathing of him. He never became unbelievable or one-dimensional, and he was always obviously a really conflicted pony, but in the end I still think "Fuck that guy" is about the best reaction I can gave to him.
Honestly, I'm not sure if that is actually a problem with the story or just my own personal prejudice, so feel free to ignore it.
2. The scenes with Macintosh going around town helping set up the Celebration moved just a bit too quickly, I think. It almost was going "Big Mac helps Pony A, then Pony B, then Pony C" and I think some more descriptions or transition scenes or something would have made it flow a bit better.
Those are obviously minor problems in the grand scheme of things, so 6/5. And I'll see if I can drag that Brony I mentioned above in here to comment on his reaction to it as well.
@ TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeletehey man! Thanks for reading! Long stories can definitely be intimidating to read, but thanks for taking the time to do so and comment!
I have to say, I am very happy to hear that I was able to get many readers so emotionally invested in the story. 'Macintosh' deals with a lot of themes that I think many of us are familiar with.
I would love to hear from your friend! It would be awesome to get his thoughts too!
Thanks again for reading! :)
My god, this story is beautiful, I teared up at least once in every few chapters. Big Mac has always been my favorite male character, not just because he's the only canon male pony that's not a jerk, but because he felt so similar to me. The oldest brother of two spunky younger sisters who despite his quiet, humble, laid-back attitude, hides the pains of his past, social anxiety and self doubt in his own destiny behind a stoic face. These small uncanny parallels made me fall in love(platonically) with the big oaf and the final scene made me grin ear-to-ear as the water works as he was a appreciated for his big heart that was only matched by his size.
ReplyDeleteI not very good with expressing myself like this but I just want you to know how much I loved this story and I really hope Big Mac get some similar development in the next season.
Just read the aftermath...while I would have shipped him with someone else, I kinda like the end choice as well.
ReplyDeleteSo. You just made Macintosh my favourite pony. This is probably also my new favourite Fanfic.
ReplyDelete..Coincidence? I think not..
Oh, and if you make that whole Aftermath Ordeal? - I think Roseluck and Macintosh should involve with one another. I mean, you gave just about every mare a tease with Macintosh, but it just all semt to click best with Rose. The nature you gave them both just make them seem very likely to one another :>
Again. Thank you. Really. I teared through all this in one sitting, and it was a joyride unlike anything else.
I sorta wished he went with twilight instead, i think they woulda looked good together studying and stuff.. But who cares! This was a great fic, one of my all time favorites with dangerous business and past sins.
ReplyDeleteHeh. A tease all the way to the end. I really wanted it to be Twilight :P But what da heck :P
ReplyDeleteA new chapter?! What wonderful surprise!
ReplyDeleteThanks for that little addition to one of the best fics ever.
ReplyDeleteI was surprised right to the end.
It also went well with the music I was listening to!
(Preston Reed's album " The Road Less Travelled")
Thanks again!
Fallout: Equestria updates. Macintosh updates. I check Macintosh first.
ReplyDeleteWhat have you done to me, TotalOverflow?
More of my most loved fanfic, from my favorite author? Yes please.
ReplyDeleteYou are the kind of author everyone strive to be.
Can't wait to read more from you.
A beautiful ending, with a great deal of closure, to one of my favourite fics on the site. Thank you for your efforts, TO, and hopefully we'll get to see more from you in the future!
ReplyDeleteWoulda rated it 5, but there were a few things that kept bugging me, such as the use of "y'all" when addressing individuals. Y'all is never acceptable for second person singular. I'm from the south, I should know. Ya, or you would work just fine.
ReplyDeleteThat said, the story itself was certainly star-6 quality.
Last line:
ReplyDeleteABOUT FUCKIN' TIME!
I was looking forward to this SOOOOO much when I saw Fluttershy come in, and then I find out this isn't FlutterMac. Sad ;_;
ReplyDelete@Lucas
ReplyDeleteY'all is perfectly acceptable as a second person singular. It is also acceptable as plural, as is "All y'all"
Source: Mother is a Southern Belle from Georgia, and 9/10ths family live there.
This was great! Well done on a pleasurable read!
ReplyDeleteI was expecting FlutterMac there at the end, but I think the ending works, 9001 stars
ReplyDeleteNow this is why I started reading fanfiction- to read gloriously composed works of art that entertain my mind.
ReplyDeleteDamn it, this is how Big Macintosh should be written!
I wish it didn't have to end, but not much can be done about that... oh wait, side stories. WRITE MOAR
And then they fucked.gif
ReplyDeleteThat's the kind of closure that I like from a story. Good job.
ReplyDeleteHey guys!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading! The 'Aftermath' took a little longer than I hoped, since I had some other projects to catch up on. I felt there were one or two loose ends that I wanted to tie up in a side story, one that was separate from the ending to 'Macintosh.'
As for more side stories? We'll have to see, I guess. I don't have any plans at the moment to write another Big Macintosh centric story, but who knows? I do have plans for other stories, though, like I really want to write a comedy, so look forward to that. But even so, you can expect Big Macintosh to be showing up in my stories from time to time.
Thanks to everyone who read, commented and rated! You guys even gave it a 6 star rating! That's so awesome! Thank you all! (Even if it does still say 5 star in the story archive :P ) I'm very glad you all enjoyed it.
A guy on Fanfiction.net wrote a side story based on Macintosh explaining some of the throught about Granny's ramblings.
ReplyDeleteGranny's Wings by GBscientist
Yes, the author actually contacted me about it; I thought it was pretty funny! He said he submitted it to EqD, but haven't heard anything yet.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, what a TWEEEEEST!
ReplyDeleteVery well done aftermath. Two thumbs up. I liked how you showed the emotions by eyes. Still, a wonderful story.
Why do I have a feeling, that you left that letter unopened for another story? Probably one featuring Braeburn or Granny Smith?
Just as I expected.
ReplyDeleteVery nice ending there. I too was expecting some FlutterMac but it all ended up working. Worthy of 6 stars.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell, to each their own, but I know I personally have never(as far as I can remember) heard "y'all" used to address an individual, and it broke the flow every time I encountered it throughout the fanfic. Again, I really liked the fanfic in most other respects.
That said, I do feel like the many fanfics seem to overdo the Apple family's accents. A southern accent can be emulated in writing without using "Ah" in place of "I".
I mean, heck, I reckin' ya can get perty darn close just typin' like this here.
We already know that they have an accent, so that knowledge(perhaps along with an author explicitly mentioning their accent once or twice), combined with the style demonstrated above, is more than enough to effectively convey that style of speech.
Awww, well ain't that special. Now you've gone and liquefied my blood-pumper, TO! /)^3^(\
ReplyDeleteShoot, was Ah the only one who read Big Mac's voice in Hank Hill's sometimes? Ah tell ya what....
ReplyDeleteAlso, there were SO many references in this fan fic... everything from LSD, to Trollestia, to ****ing Magnets, How do They Work? I kinda dislike that many references, it is kinda jarring and it takes me out of the story. But other than that, I loved this fan fic!
Oh, and I noticed that Caesar says "man", which I understand that that is used to give a better voice to the character but it doesn't really make sense. Perhaps stallion would be better? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I believe the English-accented pony who ran the fan store (forgot his name) used the word boy, which is also incorrect.
Ow. I was expecting a better ending than that. I have blueballs now.
ReplyDeleteOnly canon buck that's not a jerk, DaBatGuy?
ReplyDeleteWhat did Braeburn do?
Yes, the aftermath. Kept your form like a champ and kept me guessing right to the end, I mean good grief, SO many teases! Although I had a pretty good idea it was gonna be one of the flower mares when he caught sight of the flower bed.
Threw me pretty hard with the bouquet though. Kind of a strange gift for a mare who's a florist by trade. Even had me thinking he was on his way to Sugarcube Corner for a brief instant.
As I've said, I don't really care for shipping and the story didn't need it, but it fits regardless and really, it was nice to see Daisy catch a break. So yeah, excellent job concluding the story.
Even if it was with the wrong mare.
Shoulda been Rose...
Also, are we ever gonna find out why Cherry's such a bitch? I mean, I can't confess to liking her; you saw to that pretty well. Still, I couldn't help feeling sorry for her.
About the accent thing, I wanted to kind of show that the intensity of the accent was being lost through the younger generations. If you look, you'll see that Granny Smith and Big Macintosh have very intense accents, while Applejack and Apple Bloom have much more subdued ones. Plus, I tried to emulate the way they talk in the show as closely as possible.
ReplyDelete@Anon 6:25
I'm not sure if they say 'man' or 'boy' in the show, but they do say 'girl' and 'lady' so I figured it wouldn't be much of a stretch. Besides, I've found times when they say "I've got to HAND it to you" in the show! Tsk tsk!
As for Cherry, well, one of my goals with this story was to write it in such a way that all the characters, including the side characters, had backstories and tales of their own. For instance, I wouldn't mind hearing the story of how Lightning Bolt and Cool Star met, and there's definitely more to Cherry than we thought. Maybe I'll tackle these someday, or maybe I'll leave them up to other authors, if they feel they would like to write those stories.
BIG MAC! Y U NO SHIP WITH FLUTTERSHY
ReplyDelete@BronodeForgot about Braeburn, he's pretty cool too. funny how all the good male characters come from the Apple Family.
ReplyDeleteI loved the Aftermath chapter, it did a wonderful job a providing closure to the shipping subplots. Although my ideal pairing didn't happen(y no FlutterMac :( ) I still happy that Mac found someone.