Author: Twinkletail
Sparkle KittenDescription: When one of Twilight's spells goes a bit awry, she finds that an affected Rarity might be a little more than she bargained for.
Sparkle Kitten Part 2 (New!)
Additional Tags: Magical malady...with sexy results!
82 comments:
why must spike be in the op, thats like insult to injury to him xD
ReplyDeleteD'awww but also a bit sniffly. The Lake Head?
ReplyDelete@pollardy
ReplyDeletethis
quite good story, feel bad for twilight though
ReplyDeleteGood fic, but why isn't this labeled sad? I'm having flashbacks to "Ships That Pass in the Night"! :(
ReplyDeleteI'd label this with a sad tag if it were up to me.
ReplyDelete...I think I'm going to cry now.
This was great.
ReplyDeleteI also think maybe this should have a [Sad] tag, as well. But maybe that gives away the ending...?
@Brian
ReplyDeleteThis is way better than Ships, though it has a similar feeling to the end. I think that there's a bit more hope to the ending than there was in Ships, but I still think that this deserves a sad tag.
In any case, 5 stars, well done Twinkle.
"Can i watch?" BEST. LINE. EVER
ReplyDeleteTwinkletail Please for the love of Luna Make a sequel!!!
ReplyDeleteSEQUAL NOAW PLEASE!!
ReplyDeleteYeah... this really need a sequel )=
ReplyDeleteEh. It was okay. A lot of the wording was awkward and the plot was...generic. Very, very generic.
ReplyDelete2.5 stars.
This. Needs. A sequel. Like now.
ReplyDeleteIt's like 90% shipping, and... Yeah, a bit like ships.
ReplyDeleteThough a sequel would be nice, seeing as it's rather... two way sad.
But Twilight gets more forever alone then Luna *ANYWAYS*.
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete>But Twilight gets more forever alone then Luna *ANYWAYS*.
You're welcome.
Agreeing with the four others requesting a sequel.
ReplyDeleteHRRNNNG... Generic? Pft I thought it was very good plot.
ReplyDeleteI'd definitely read a sequel!
That was depressing ending
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping the lack of a sad tag means there is a part two in the works where they confess
Also I hnnnnnnghd like fuck at her pet name god damn
Argh, I go to read it and it's gone. The link just goes to the google docs homepage.
ReplyDeleteThis seriously needs a sequel....Now.
ReplyDelete>.>
ReplyDelete<.<
*jumps onto the sequel bandwagon when no one is looking*
i'm glad y'all enjoyed it :)
ReplyDeletei originally wasn't going to make a sequel, but due to the demand for one, i'm considering it, out of fear that i may be hunted down and beaten if i don't xD
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe story was charming... until the end.
ReplyDeleteThe ending is disappointing, I must say. Really.
whyyyyyyy.
ReplyDeletethis can't be the end of things. I also want sequel. great story :D
Wow, thay was horribly depressing =/
ReplyDeleteThere needs to be a continuation of this with a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteI was a bit disappointed. Early on there seemed some promise of an exploration of having very strong felings that you intellectually know are not real, but that never materialized.
ReplyDeleteActually, I hated the twist. It makes Rarity look manipulative and deceitful, and she didn't even make good use of her deception to get an accurate read on Twi.
In addition, it didn't seem believable that she would read the continued research as a sign of disinterest. Would anyone who truly cares about a friend be okay with letting that friend live under mind control, even for their own benefit? Failing to try to finda cure would have made Twi totally creepy!
What a quaint little story.
ReplyDeleteI don't see how this is depressing. Yes it's pretty sad that one altercation ended in such a sad way, neither able to truly come to terms with their feelings for one another. And even if there isn't a sequel (the chapter seems pretty closed to me), the fact is they both still love each other. There's always the chance for something, anything to happen. As Ebon said; Ships/Notes ended forcefully, MAKING us know that they never... got together, or that they even knew how the felt about each other. This was one passing day ending in neither able to admit how they felt. This is just fine and a sad, little funny love story, I think. Four stars, bravo.
The reason so many people are wanting a sequel, I think, is the same reason we love My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in the first place. I think people have an inherent need for goodness. Or maybe happiness is a fitting word, I don't know. I just think that we all need happy endings.
ReplyDeleteConfound these ponies, they drive me to philosophizing...
@Escher
ReplyDeleteall good points, especially your last one. at times while i was writing it, i did think "is this going to come off as twilight/rarity being a bit creepy?" if i do decide to write a sequel, i'm going to try and address rarity's somewhat-flawed logic in her assumptions.
thanks for the input. i'm as happy to take critique (as long as it's constructively-done like this was) as i am to take complements.
I would like to see a sequel. I'm liking all the Twilight shipping thats been floating around and I find myself hoping for a continuation of this.
ReplyDeleteSpike reminds me of Winnie the Pooh in that image.
ReplyDeleteNEEDS A CLOPFIC SEQUEL NAOW!
ReplyDelete@Ebon Mane
ReplyDeleteOh no you don't!
Twilight's innately prone to unhappiness in her base character archetype, and this is way before Ships!
She's a shut in Misanthrope. Any relationships she is involved with is either people hitting on her, resulting in her confusion. Or her longing for people from afar, unable to engage in the social functions that would allow her to grow closer to her.
At least Luna has that being in jail for a millenia excuse as to why she's alone. Twilight has the emotional IQ of a banana slug.
I wana cry now! can somepony make a alternative ending or can the author please fix this? it's so depressing for such a happy fic...happy fics arn't suppoed to end unhappy....=C
ReplyDeleteIf the story continues... I could so see the two just barely missing each others feelings three or four more times, ultimately Pinkie having a hyper-combo when the two are around and points it out. I think there was an AJ/FS fic where Pinkie discovered their feelings with a combo.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteyupyup, that'd be "a hop, skip, and a jump," one of my favorite ones i've read recently. i'd feel bad nabbing that idea from it.
i'm gonna go ahead and say that i'm about 90% sure i'm making a sequel. it might be a little while, though, cause i need to figure out exactly how i'm gonna handle it if i do it.
Awww, unrequited love. bittersweet.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean I started it, just that I helped. There's a reason that she's the character that fails so often socially in my fics.
Unoriginal, unfulfilling, unrealistic, untrue to the characters shown, all with an unimaginably wretched pet name.
ReplyDelete@anonymous 7:59:
ReplyDelete...so did you like the story or not? :D
@Twinkletail
ReplyDeleteWell, I liked it! I'd even read the sequel if ever there was one!
@Ridley
ReplyDeletei was thinking of not saying anything yet, but i figure it's no harm. sequel is currently in the works ^_^
pretty well done, but a bit creepy, whats that thing called, like reverse Stockholm?
ReplyDeleteThe first one was awesome. No offense, but sequel sucked.
ReplyDeleteI admit I feel the second part isn't as strong as the first as well. I am going on a hunch here, and assume you may not have intended to write it originally. It just feels like something you came up with because people wanted more closure.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't go as far as saying it sucked, its still ok, but the first chapter was better in my opinion.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeletei can accept people not liking it, but could you at least explain why?
I liked it, and I liked the sequel. I kind of wish you explored their feelings more during the actual admission but oh well. Part one was great, and could be an amazing standalone, while this seems to be mindlessly happy. Not a bad thing mind you, just not what I prefer.
ReplyDeleteHah love the Dr. Hooves.
ReplyDeleteThis is uncanny! A Twilight shipfic with a happy ending? Even more weird is that I mentioned the lack of happy Twilight shipping not long ago. I guess Celestia must be looking out for me, eh?
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to see a happy ending to this. Very good work!
ReplyDeleteI liked it!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to agree with everyone else though when they say that the second part felt a bit rushed and seems like you didn't intend for it to be a two parter...
Of course I'm also one of those people who detests sad endings, so I'm a bit conflicted!
Like people would say, it was lovely ;)
ReplyDeleteNice ending, BUT still... The specter of the ''Quick Ending'' float over it... It would gain to be extanded, even if just by a bit.
Wow, I didn't even realise there would be a second part, it ended quite well with the first.
ReplyDeleteReally well written.
*Sees that this story got updated*
ReplyDelete*Deep inhale*
yay.
I really liked the reference to the Doctor and Luna having a thing :P
ReplyDeleteIt's also great to finally see Twi having her happily ever after :D
<3 Coffeebean
but... my spikkkeeyy kiiinnnnssss
ReplyDelete*cries*
LOL @ Applejack as the audience surrogate.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh, That is a much nicer ending. Really really nice work Twinkletail.
ReplyDeleteThe second part wasn't as strong in the descriptions of their feelings and that hurt it a tad to me but it was still pretty good. I always enjoy a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but picture Rarity's reaction to opening the door and finding Twilight there as the same as her reaction to Twi's mussed mane in Ep. 1.
ReplyDeleteWaa-ha-HAA-ha!
AWW! Upcoming Luna/Whoof ship? ^^
ReplyDeleteAlso, apparently AJ was playing the part of ME there since she was bringing up all the points from my previous comment... I'm okay with this casting decision.
I've read this thing a bunch of times and don't see the whoof thing. I take it it's a reference to an ep I haven't seen of his show.
ReplyDeleteVery cute story.
ReplyDeleteThat was absolutely lovely.
ReplyDeleteI thought that you we're going to pull a "The Three Notes" on us after the first part. But It was really sweet to see things work out.
That little part with Luna was really sad though.
3 stars here.
ReplyDeleteIt was ok. Not badly written, with some serious Cuteness included ( ;) ) but well, too cliche and too simple of a story to make me love it.
Loved it. 5 star.
ReplyDeleteI gave it three stars.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that based on these comments the sequel was an afterthought, it was already facing an uphill battle. As one of the other posters said, some near releases of emotions but misses should've occured, throw in Spike's take on the whole ordeal, and I guess (plot idea that has no relevence considering story is done and I am naught but a lowly reader):
>Twilight confessing to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie
>RD and PP talking with AJ and Fluttershy later on, AppleShy confiding in PinkieDash about Rarity in love with Twilight
>RD about to tell AppleShy that Twilight loves Rarity, PP interjects with "Lose a friendship FOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEERRRR"
>AppleShy correctly guesses, Pinkie Pie throws a party for Twilight and Rarity to meet up
>Pinkie Pie flustered and glitches (like Party fo One epi) because she can't go against herself in telling another pony's secret to another
And then sappy ending for Twilight and Rarity getting together with similar ending like part 2.
At least that's my take on it.
@Dave
ReplyDeletehm...i'm liking some of the ideas you have there.
honestly, even though i said this was complete, i was considering writing an epilogue, as people thought the ending was too abrupt. the only reason i haven't put out an epilogue yet is because i was having difficulty figuring out where to go with it, and i figured that i'd come back to it after writing another fic to refresh my mind a bit.
everyone who guessed that i only wrote the sequel because there was a demand for it would be correct. i was content with leaving it on a bittersweet ending, but people wanted the happy ending so hard that i felt compelled to deliver. this isn't saying that i would take part 2 back; i really do like it. it wasn't my original intent though.
after reading some of your ideas, i may want to expand from an epilogue into a little bit of a longer-form part 3. i don't want to totally steal your ideas (as much as i like them) so i might change it a bit, but i think i'll be coming back to this after i finish up with dragon your hooves.
thanks for the input, i had only clicked back on this story to archive it in the compilation doc i'm making and was very pleased to see this comment here :D
"Twilight let out a squeak that would have made Fluttershy proud."
ReplyDeleteYay. you rock twilight woohoo!
an appropriate song
ReplyDeleteKiss kiss fall in love.
google it sometime.
@Twinkletail
ReplyDeleteIf you do an epilogue for this, I will love you for it. I liked the ending of the second part but it left something to be desires. I hope the epilogue turns out good if ya do it.
The happy ending at the end of part 2 sold me on the Twilight Rarity Ship.
ReplyDeleteLuna and Dr. Whooves? BRILLIANT!
ReplyDeleteI manly-giggled for about 2 minutes at the prospect of Luna with a time-travelling Dr. Whooves.
ReplyDeleteAside from that, the story was very sweet. You managed to write an adorable story in only two chapters.
As the heavy would say, "YOU DID WELL"
The endiv just felt slightly abrupt, sorry. It was a VERY good story, still worth 5 stars, but the ending could have been a little smoother and/or have a little more at the end. Anyhoof, that's all Trevor has to say about that! Thanks for the story!
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Feels like a slice of life episode. Enjoyed this all the way, although the ending felt like it ended so soon...
ReplyDeleteSaw the twist coming from five hundred miles. Still a nice read! Now for the second chapter.
ReplyDeleteI read the tittle and expected Twilight Sparkle to get a cat. Possibly out of loneliness. I am disappoint.
ReplyDeleteThis is still my favorite shipping fanfic ever
ReplyDelete