• The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce (Update Complete!)

    [Normal] Yes, even characters with 3 seconds of air time get stories in this fandom!

    Author: Chris
    Description: It's the story of Pokey.  The first two chapters (and the next one, as well) are set when he and all the other 'adults' in FiM are still in school, and it works forward from there.
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 1
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 2
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 3
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 4
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 5
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 6
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 7
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 8
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Part 9 (New!)
    The Truth About "Pokey" Pierce Epilogue (New!)

    All one Link (New!)

    63 comments:

    1. Blak pony's special talent is being a party pooper? That's racist.

      Seriously though, good stuff. But I always imagined Cheerilee was about as old as mane cast.

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    2. Gotta read it. 80% chance this will be my favorite fic for silly reasons.

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    3. Now I am anxious that somepony's talent will be fires.

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    4. Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce

      Pinkie Pierce

      Has a nice ring to it

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    5. That was a good story. it had its ups and downs, like I caught myself loosing interest at parts, but plot is great! I'll be waiting for another part =)

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    6. @Naxts

      Glad you enjoyed it! I understand what you're saying about the tempo; 'lugubrious' is one of the kinder words frequently used to describe my writing. But, I persevere! Also, it's my hope that the meandering tone matches Pokey's own thought processes.

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    7. @Anonymous

      I have no evidence for or against this, but I imagined that in FiM the main cast was late teens/early twenties, and Cheerilee was early thirties. So, if the FiM cast are at about the age where they start getting cutie marks, she'd be a young teacher, perhaps even in her first year.

      My ideas of relative pony age will probably be irreparably torpedoed in the upcoming episode where the main cast each tell the CMC how they got their cutie marks, but until then, I can pretend.

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    8. This is getting interesting and I want to see more.

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    9. I really like the third chapter, as enough happened for some real change of emotion. (also the shipping). Can't wait for more!

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    10. Oh man, the tag reads normal, but this train-ride is going from sad to sadder. I really hope for another installment!

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    11. Well. This certainly has become quite interesting. At first, I was expecting just a bunch of social lameness at school. But then, it developed into something exciting that forced me to keep reading, those little bits of shipping was cute too.

      I love it! You've certainly outdone yourself, I can't wait for the next part!

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    12. I'm glad to see this continued. Poor Pokey keeps getting kicked around. I want him to poke something that deserves it.

      I'll look forward to the next installment.

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    13. From the way that ''Canter'' is acting... it's kinda strange and makes me wonder why no pony have yet to try to, at least, 'harm' him ?

      That pony seems simply too 'despicable' to be still alive, really.

      Who knows... maybe that's what will happen and Pokey will take his job out of spite and/or to ''avenge'' him ?

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    14. I'm liking this more with each new chapter.

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    15. Wait, I'm confused... where is this "Pokey Pierce" character seen in the show?

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    16. @Anonymous

      He's the blue unicorn with the safety-pin cutey mark who pops the balloons Apple Bloom is hiding behind at the party during 'Call of the Cutie.'

      I'm pretty sure we've seen him in the background since then, but that's the only time he appears center screen and actually does anything.

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    17. Two words: great story. Alternatively, to describe my reaction to Pierce's final breakthrough...

      fuck. yes.

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    18. Very well written. Although, the ending felt rushed. Nevertheless I enjoyed the story and I hope to see more from this author.

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    19. Honestly, I'm not sure if the ending is believable... I mean, Pokey DOES know that Canker is basically Equestria's answer to the Grinch, only worse, and he believes every single word the old bastard says? I mean, I'm not the brightest bulb around, and even I would have doubted... no, disbelieved the ol' rotten core.
      Heck, stalking plus forcing plus lying plus ruining plus being basically a flankhurt doesn't make for a believable source, innit?

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    20. Daw, the ending is all Carrie-like and sad. Poor Pinkie Pie only wanted to be your friend :(

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    21. @ the Anonymouses:

      I won't lie; I had more trouble writing this chapter than any other so far. I can certainly understand what you mean about it feeling rushed.

      However, without disputing either of your (entirely valid) points, I would suggest that Pierce's actions lie within the realm of realism. I've known people in abusive relationships who act a lot like Pierce, in fact. They cling to whatever their abuser tells them, because they've convinced themselves that the alternative is worse. Additionally, everything that Canker's told Pierce has been carefully tailored to seem plausible.

      Also, let me clarify for everyone that this is NOT the last chapter; Pokey's got a few thousand more words in him yet.

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    22. @Chris
      Future parts you say ?

      Still, I hope that, at the very least, something bad hhapens to the Less-than-a-pony Canter... even if Pokey seems to go for the dark side of the ''whatever it is''...

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    23. Ooooh shiitt.

      This ain't right. Everything is just one giant misunderstanding.
      Jese, This stuff has really gotten exciting. Can't wait for the next part.

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    24. What ep did he appear in again?

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    25. Well... at least Canter is dead. Maybe not in the most satisfactory fashion, but I guess that's better than nothing.

      Now, the question of Pokey... Will he become LIKE Canter (I seriously hope NOT) or will he become more professional, more ''21th century'' kind of Party-popper ?

      Personally, I really want/prefer the last one. Seems right for Pokey to become a more ''civilized'' Party-Popper... I guess people could call that an ''evolution'' of party-crashing techniques?

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    26. "Yes, even characters with 3 seconds of air time get stories in this fandom!"

      Dude, characters with 3 FRAMES of air time get stories. That's what I love about my bronies!

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    27. Yeah, I can't believe how sad this has gotten...

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    28. I still have a little hope that friendship will win. In Call of the Cutie we do see him after all this, nobody shooes him away and he just enjoys the party (albeit in a balloon-popping way).

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    29. So Canker's on his deathbed, eh? And what's this, he's got a note for Pierce? Maybe he'll finally admit that he was wrong about everything, and tell Pierce how sorry he is for ruining his life...

      "Blast it all, you ignorant dung pile..."

      Well, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Kind of an interesting end to the chapter, I had a lot of conflicting emotions about how I felt that he died.

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    30. I am in a rather crazy mess of emotions right now. Part of me was sad when Canker died, but another part was kindda happy when he past. but you kindda left us at a strange position, like, we have absolutely no hint or clue as to what happen next.

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    31. Wow. File this under Emotional Rollercoaster. It's not often I find a story with no happy ending (assuming that's how it is). Very satisfying story, and a very well written one at that. 5 stars from me, definitely.

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    32. I find myself totally rooting for Pokey; you've done a good job of painting a sympathetic antagonist. Awesome job!

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    33. Wait- sabotaging parties is fine, but stealing money isn't? He think setting up parties is free or something? You might as well just TAKE it.

      Ok, there might be a difference between between taking her life savings and sabotaging her party efforts (though with Pinky that could very well be one and the same). However, if the sheer hypocricy inherent in his MO isn't obvious to him by now he must be BLIND.

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    34. @ Anon I believe the term you're looking for is "Even evil has standards".

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    35. Bah. Lying to himself about what he does to preserve his precious ego is more like it.

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    36. Despite a rocky start, I find myself intrigued by this story. Well done.

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    37. @Anonymous
      Yes, like Batty Gloom said.

      There's a step between robbing a bank and killing people for money.

      Like there's a step between ruining social events and stealing goods.

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    38. Apparently. Pierce is a master of stealth now. =0

      Good god. This is an incredibly exciting story. I can't imagine the pain on Pinkie's face when she saw her house go down like that, and her pet too? Damn.

      I must see another part! Cliffhangers man! Don't leave us hanging!

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    39. Fic writer.


      Your awesome and this fic is awesome.

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    40. I was so glad to see this finish so that I could start reading without having to wait anxiously for the next installment.

      Personally, I can understand this story, various parts of it reflect points in my life, and it's exceptionally good. I sincerely hope that you are planning to write more stories in the future, and I will be looking forward to them if you are.

      Seth, you need to make a new tag; Every emotion under the sun. Seriously, this is sad, happy, frustrating, dark, and humorous all at once.

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    41. I didn't think that I would like this story when I first started reading it, but now that it's finished, I really wouldn't change a single thing about it.

      Well done, Mr. Author.

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    42. And so its finished... I'm actually kindda sad it ended. I loved this story so much that I wished it never ended.

      This is just absolutely great. The story began as what I thought would be an average story but evolved into some 'holy shit this is awesome'. I'm in love with the feelings that you get while reading it, it starts off sad because Peirce is getting bullied, then it seems to get happy again when I thought you were going to ship Pinkie and Peirce, And then you smashed everything with the introduction of Canker.
      And you gave us a real trip when Pokey became a real jerk. At that point. I just didn't know what to think anymore. I was flipping out. Canker's death gave us a real trip too.
      And everything took a turn for the epic when Pinkie's house blew up. I didn't even know what to think anymore, all I could think of is, Wow.

      The new part with the administrator didn't really clear up as many things as I thought it would. How come the Administrator came for pokey but not Canker? I kindda wished I knew why Canker was so horrid, but nonetheless, it was a pretty decent part. The little piece with the chest was really cute. I really liked it.

      And then, the Epilogue. Now that was really sweet. It really redeemed Pokey's character. Heh, I also liked that nice tie in with the cannon episode. It gave the story a really nice touch to it. I'm an absolute sucker for happy endings. This story made me feel good =)

      All in all. This story is a really really good trip. I kindda wish you shipped Pinkie and Pierce, mainly because I'm such a fag for shipping. I absolutely fallen in love with this story.

      Thank you for the great read man.

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    43. >canker died -(Check)

      >Pierce became more of a Professional Party Popper (rather than a sadistic kind) -(Check)

      >Somewhat Neutral-Happy ending -(Check)

      ...Well, everything seem in order?
      The last Chapter+Epilogue were enough to raise the bar and allow a 'relatively' satisfying ending.

      So, I say that it's an 'Ok' story, all things considered.

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    44. Though it wasn't super-duper Pinkie-level happy-ending, the relief that he stopped being meanypants is still nice.

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    45. @nova_25

      I didn't realize there was a checklist, but I'm glad I passed the test!

      And thank you to all of you for reading (and commenting on) this story. I enjoyed writing it immensely, and part of that pleasure was knowing there were others who were enjoying my work. You guys rock.

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    46. Ended even better than I expected. Wonderful story. This makes me curious to see stories of more background characters.

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    47. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    48. @Chris

      I'd like to contact you but I can't find a way... Care to drop me a message?

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    49. A very well executed exploration of a background character. For a time, I wondered if the DPM was actually something Canker just made up. More pointedly, all the groundwork put down in chapters 1 through 5 did an excellent job in the payoff that came at the very end, plus the epilogue. The dichotomy of a party-producer and a party-wrecker was the most interesting narrative element, and while its true that that was the premise of the story as a whole, the execution in nuance is what gave it a memorable feel: especially the little things like one thinking about the other in identical but opposing ways, the 'behind the scenes' attempt to protect the parties with traps, etc.

      As with most fanfiction, in any genre, the majority of it is hardly memorable. You read, you shrug, you move on; yet I will remember this fanfic. Technically well executed and formatted, characterized well, solid premise and execution, effective use of character to advance plot, good use of emotional draws, high and low. Excellent overall.

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    50. That was a wonderful story, i loved it a lot and I imagined it too! I enjoyed it and more because I read this at job meanwhile my boss isn't here watching if I'm working or not lol

      Cool story! :3

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    51. Okay.

      1)You fail economics forever. Equestria is expressly a capitalistic society, not a collectivist one--- and in a capitalist society, the balance between labor and rest is self regulating. Those who work less, prosper less, and are surpassed by their competition. If you're partying all the time it's because you can AFFORD it... and if not you and you alone pay the consequences
      An "unsustainable lifestyle" would be one where the government dictates productivity from the top down (covertly or otherwise) as presented in your story. One would think this would be self-evident to anyone who has seen what a raging clusterf*** that the government makes of even simple jobs like delivering the mail or balancing the budget. People didn't starve in breadlines in Russia because of excessive government efficiency, after all.

      2)It would take an absolutely rotten, vile being to even conceive of such an arrangement, much less execute it. thank you so much for making a minor, albeit likeable character into a tool of a repulsive government bureaucracy.

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    52. Really Anon? Complaining about politics in a ponyfic? They are magical talking ponies for Celestia's sake. Who knows what would work for them.

      Also, good fic.

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    53. Brilliantly wonderful, in it's own sorta sad way.

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    54. This is such an incredibly cute story. I'm putting Pokey into my fanfic, too. I loooove him!!

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    55. What a fun story this has been. Even though you made it a little darker, it still has the same magical feel as the show. Very fun to read.

      And I loved the relationship between Pinky and Pokey. The whole little "war" between balloons and needles is a great concept, and I actually wish Pokey was in the show to provide some friendly rivalry for Pinkie.
      For a moment I was afraid you might go into shipping, but I'm glad you didn't. While I don't mind the idea that a crush could be involved, the story works so much better when the primary focus is just their friendship and rivalry.

      I actually didn't notice how much Pokey's powers of concentration changed. Great character development there.

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