[Comedy] I'm gonna go ahead and rate this PG-13.
Author: Squeejee
Description: Growing up is a long, hard process.
Snails' Big Problem
Additional Tags: I'm ashamed for writing this.
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87 comments:
Wut
ReplyDeletenot for me, i'm not a fan of this character.
ReplyDeleteThe page is not working
ReplyDeleteLink is broken
ReplyDeleteUm, Cereal? The link is broken. It doesn't lead anywhere.
ReplyDeleteLink is broken.
ReplyDeleteinb4 link broken
ReplyDeleteWoops, broken link.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, rating the story without reading it, seriously guys? What is this? FiMFiction?
Bad Cereal! You posted a bad link.
ReplyDeleteShame on you people who rated this 1-star before the link was even up. There's proof that the rating system is being abused.
ReplyDeleteProper link...I just edited it till I found it https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CdVLn5Hm49v2YrkYzipP8J-H49H5zLnZMBzUgbz-pro/edit?hl=en_US
ReplyDeleteOkay, seriously, what the fuck?
ReplyDeleteGuys, stop rating this 1-star. You are making Equestria Daily a lot of harm with that childish behavior.
2 people rated it 1 star and 2 people 5 stars. Why?
ReplyDeleteA proper link, straight out of the email thread:
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1CdVLn5Hm49v2YrkYzipP8J-H49H5zLnZMBzUgbz-pro/edit?hl=en_US
While a interesting story, it is quite... funny. Yes, funny is the right word.
@hybrid misfit, it works! Thank you!
ReplyDelete@Harbingerofme
ReplyDeleteThere is a strong possibility that all of these ratings are from pre-readers. I know I and another have given it five stars. Not sure about the 1*, but considering how readers on this site will 1* bomb anything that is remotely outside their preferred subject matter... it is hard to say.
On the other hoof - this is not exactly 5 star material. Oy vey!
ReplyDeleteLINK
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1CdVLn5Hm49v2YrkYzipP8J-H49H5zLnZMBzUgbz-pro/edit?hl=en_US
@ponydoraprancypants
In this case, I am 90% certain I know who rated it 1 star and why. I haven't rated it because I haven't read it, but if it's the person I think did it, he DID read it and did hate it due to content.
Pre-reader DO occasionally rate things too. That is most likely where the stars came from in this case.
Glad some many correct links popped up! But about the whole rating thing, if you're not interested, don't rate it. If you're interested and don't like it, rate it low. If you're interested and do like it, rate it high! That's how I think about it, even though I almost never rate stuff I'm interested in.
ReplyDelete@Harbingerofme
ReplyDeleteIf only the world were so perfect as to have people only spout meaningful opinions about things they have actually participated in or know of to some extent.
What a wonderful world it would be...
I have never felt more uncomfortable reading a fanfic, but it's the hilarious kind of uncomfortable, and entirely due to sympathy. And then that scene with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon near the end tipped up into 5-star territory for me. My god.
ReplyDeleteOh, author: "You're mother's worried about you."
Snails x Twist OTP
ReplyDelete@Harbingerofme
ReplyDeleteI agree. I tend not to read stuff I figure I'll hate, but it happens every now and then. And I rate accordingly. But I don't just throw 1 stars out.
FYI, i just gave it a 4. There were some great lines, but I got a little lost with one of the transitions and some of the lines were a little stiff.
/pokerface
Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon were amazing.
It made me laugh. The story itself wasn't all that compelling, but it was short and sweet. Worth reading if you have 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI can see the one stars are just pouring out for a snails story... yet I see few comments as to what they are thinking in giving such a rating.
ReplyDeleteWell, immaturity is to be expected in a fandom for a child's cartoon...
I read the whole thing I think it is actually pretty cute and tender, taking into account the subject matter. It's what you'll get of the makers of "There's Something about Mary" would do a more subtle and tasteful comedy.
ReplyDeleteIt has its flaws, but which story doesn't?
4/5.
will read! looks fun XD
ReplyDelete5 star'd.
ReplyDeleteIt made me laugh, and that's worth it.
Misleading pic though.
That was so stupidly hilarious.
ReplyDeleteOkay, found a working link...
ReplyDeleteReading about Snail's Big Problem...
Figuring he's talking about a huge "gift"...
Miss Cherilee's sweet flanks...
*SPROING!*
I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING =D
That was... Perfect.
ReplyDeleteI agree. 4/5
ReplyDeleteGood quality fic. I got a few chuckles here and there, albeit a few lines hitting a sour note with me, but all in all good show.
And of course, the subject matter was a bit awkward to talk about, but if you can disconnect the seriousness of it for the sake of humor, it works out very well.
And really, fella, have we not been there at some point in the past? It's not easy growing up, but its good to have such awesome friends like Snips to help us through it. :)
lol, well that sure was interesting.... and totally uncomfortable because it's relatable. Poor Snails...unable to resist the power of Cheerilee's flank xD
ReplyDeleteNot sure where Twist is coming into all this.... since it's Applebloom that's mentioned.
I'll give it a 3/5.
Guys, Cereal chose a random image. Stories for a long time have had a random image unless otherwise stated. Why does everyone have to think twist is in this story?
ReplyDeleteSo this is about boners?
ReplyDeleteCause from the tags I got that this is about Snails' PG-13 long, hard shame.
he should attend to princess molestias school of gifted unicorns :D
ReplyDelete@NinesTempest
ReplyDeleteI don't even know why stories need images. Unless the author provides one it should be a character vector at best.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteI basically agree, but whatever.
AHAHAH OH WOW I WANNA READ THISSSSS
ReplyDeleteDead link.
ReplyDeletePersonally I found this rather amusing. Bravo for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteSo much hate, and it isn't even a full-on clopfic <3
ReplyDeletePony fandom is so intolerant and spiteful despite preaching "love and tolerance".
I think people should try giving the story a shot before blatantly marking it 5 stars, much less 1 star even. For Celestias sake.
ReplyDeleteAll this controversy, and all I want to know is how exactly Snails' cutie mark translates to a skill at gardening?
ReplyDeleteAwwww, why the hate?
ReplyDeleteA fun read, although the embarrassment was so easy to relate to that is was quite HARD to get through this story.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'll just go away now.
"THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR AND NOT CLOSING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER FIGURING OUT WHAT IT WAS ABOUT!"
ReplyDeleteI thought the title explained it pretty well...
to anyone wondering whether or not to read this: it's better than three stars and only took me about 5-10 minutes to get through it, so just go for it!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry.. I read it, and I didn't like it.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised that this was posted. I'd THOUGHT that stories like this weren't going up... it might not be clop, but it's kinda-sorta implied, in my eyes.
I rated it accordingly.
@Joe
ReplyDeleteif this were any other fandom you would have people threatening to leave the website forever in the comments.
I;d say we're doing all right...
@NinesTempest
ReplyDeleteI agree on this too, the image for this story is more confusing than necessary and could have been replaced by a character vector.
Now I went and read it and it was a bit of an awkward push for myself to finish it. I think the joke could have been a bit more *discreet* and then I would have liked the story more. Characters matched and it kept me reading. Execution could have used a bit of work but it was by all means an okay story, gave me a laugh and then some. 4/5 Keep working at it.
ReplyDelete@The Mechanic
ReplyDeleteyou consider a recollection of getting an awkward boner in school where all that happens is you get laughed out of class a clopfic?
That really doesn't imply anything other than "teenagers get awkward boners."
I love this fic, it's hilarious and adorable! 5 stars from me and I hope you put out more of it soon!
ReplyDelete@Adrian Brony
ReplyDeleteImplied, yes. Yes, I do.
As much as I would consider it implied clopfic if they described Twist's nethers getting moist as she became aroused, were that to be put into a story.
I found some of the narrative a bit too... purple for my tastes, but I'm always up for fics about the most awkward experiences one could have.
ReplyDeletepeople thinking this is too "mature" need to lighten up. it's not implying he's about to stick it into anything, it's not describing the thing in detail, and it is not a clopfic.
it's just a story about the most awkward thing to happen to a teenager.
I give it a 4 because there were some really awkward points in the narrative.
I chuckled and chortled at this. Cause every teenage boy has gone through this at least once in there lives
ReplyDelete@The Mechanic
ReplyDeleteahh but there's the thing, it didn't describe the genitals except for a passing mention that it was unusually large. it wasn't focusing on the genitals, what ti felt like, or any fluids. it focused on how snails was reacting.
That was funny! Nice little read.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I'm not a guy. This would be the most uncomfortable thing in the world. Especially in a world where you are always naked.
ReplyDeleteA solid 4 star entry. I didn't think a story like this would ever be in the Bronydom except for wing boners. Well done.
ReplyDeleteNow I see a manure-load of rule 34 fanarts coming out of this...
ReplyDeleteNO ME GUSTA
It seems like a natural thing for young'uns to go through, and that yes, it does happen, but not everyone will be a 'dick' about it *snicker*
ReplyDeleteBut I liked it, it was a well put short story. 4/5
Link was taken down, cannot read it
ReplyDeleteWhat has been read, can't be unread. ._.
ReplyDeleteThere are three story links in the comments guys, within the first 20, easily.
ReplyDelete@Bullets
ReplyDeleteWell said. Well said. That being said, every guy has had this problem. ok not with the class being naked, but the actual problem.
I liked the story, the author had a good sense of humor about it.
This is FAR from the worst thing i've read.
ReplyDeleteI think some bronies are getting a little too uptight about this stuff. Again bros, this is all for the sake of a good laugh, please stop taking everything so seriously. Remember we are all here for the same basic reason, a show about candy-coloured ponies.
It's all in good fun. :)
Wow. Props to Snips.
ReplyDeleteOkay, seriously, can we get rid of the star rating system? It's not fair for a decent story to get bombed with one star ratings because people don't like the subject matter. Get a life people.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I can read this, I'll give it a shot though.
ReplyDelete@Brittany
ReplyDeleteI always felt the star system was pointless in large voter bases. people generally just vote 1 or 5 stars.
at the same time, it would be difficult to re-make the system to work with a like/dislike system because the fics are categorized for people new to the site to easily browse them.
maybe if it were based on percentage (like 80% liked would be a 4 star, etc.)
maybe we should talk to Seth about a potential change into a less easy to abuse system.
@The Mechanic
ReplyDeleteAs Adrian Brony pointed out, the context here makes all the difference. It's not a clopfic, or even a borderline clopfic, because it's not meant to inspire arousal in its readers. It's not about sex, it's about dealing with public humiliation.
The example you give with Twist doesn't work very well, due in part to double standards (few writers would write about Twist's moist nethers in anything BUT a sexual context), and in part to the fact that public arousal is obviously much easier for a girl to hide. On the other hand, if the story were about a filly's first period, it might play out similarly to this story, and it still wouldn't be porn.
If this story counts as a borderline clopfic to you, then do you consider the various illustrated books meant to prepare preteens for the experience of puberty to be porn, too?
@Harbingerofme I expect the two 5-star ratings were to counter the two 1-star ratings, bringing things to an average.
ReplyDeleteAs for the story, it was quite amusing. You can practically hear the *bong* sound when puberty hits poor Snails. :)
How about tie the votes to a comment system? Like require everyone who votes to write a small blurb about why they rated it so?
ReplyDeleteBut then that would require coding a different comment section.
I thought this was a funny tale myself. My problem was a bit, different, though.
Honestly, I was expecting a lot worse. A touch risque maybe, but still a fun read.
ReplyDeleteUh, Cereal?
ReplyDeleteYou accidently the link.
That was a genuinely fun read. Growing up in the 1980s, with baggy pants and other monstrosities and fashion faux pas has led to more than one instance where I or classmates were in no hurry to stand up from their desks. I can only imagine how much more awkward it would be for naked ponies!
ReplyDeletePoor Snails. Still, that was an adorable end, and I think it was a genuinely sweet story.
There is no content whatsoever that was outright inappropriate. It's simply a story about how embarrassing a normal bodily function can be for an adolescent, and how hard it can be to keep it hidden from one's peers for so long. The story is absolutely clear on what's going on, without being vulgar. The ANYPONY was vulgar, it was those two dirty bullies, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and their words were quite simply, bullying.
I happen to find this story fully tolerable, content wise. It made me chuckle, and I rated it highly. It's a quick one shot story that is worth the 5 minutes it takes to read. I imagine every colt has to go through this eventually.
I feel bad though... What do the poor fillies go through when they experience winking for the first time! /)O_O(\
Also... I don't mean what they used to call teleporting back from G1... Quite frankly... G1 winking was serious getting crap past the radar business, or just plain WE DIDN'T KNOW!!!
Link's broken. What gives?
ReplyDelete@richfiles
ReplyDeleteOkay, I have to ask. What do you mean by winking?
I've been Googling it, and I just can't find that many vulgar definitions for "winking", and none that seem to make sense in context. The one that came closest was buried several pages deep in Urban Dictionary, and had more down votes than up, which makes me question its validity or frequency of usage.
The sparsity of results makes me suspect that any suggestive meanings attached to "winking" are just not used widely enough to qualify for Getting Crap Past the Radar; it's just too obscure to be dirty.
But maybe I'm wrong. This being the internet, I half expect to be given scores of examples of how winking is positively filthy. >-> But I hope not; I've used "winking out" to describe Twilight's teleportation in a fanfic before, because I like little references to G1. I'm kind of attached to it.
Not sure why he was afraid of this not getting posted. Oh wait, that's right. The pre-readers are assholes. Yes I know, bitter much.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed The crap out of that story. The innuendo was pretty obvious from The beginning, but it stayed innuendo. Not exactly sure what the bit with him and his dad was about, but that's probably just me. I expect to get a few thousand replys explaining it. Save your words, I don't really care. Not understanding didn't affect my pleasure.
Keep up they'll work. If I'd been Snails, I'd have bucked Diamond and Silver into the nearest mud hole.
@Timber
ReplyDeleteIf you don't care and don't want an explanation, why bother mentioning that you didn't understand?
@Epesi
ReplyDeleteJust google "horse winking" It's specific to equines, and describes something mares do when in estrus (in heat). Google will even be kind enough to give you a video as the top hit to scar your fragile little mind... Click only if you are not offended by real plot.
I grew up on a farm, so not a big deal to me. I've seen it all, and knew "how things work" at the age of 5. Meh.
@Epesi
ReplyDeleteMaybe Twilight's constant winking around Sweet Apple Acres is why Big Mac licked Twi while he was Discorded, and swiped her doll after the "Want it, Need it" Spell had already been dispelled! LOL!!!
@richfiles
ReplyDeleteI miss the edit comment feature from Disqus...
In regards to my youth...
I'm 5, and I know exactly what this is! LOL!