Sunday, July 3, 2011

Story: A Question of Protocol

[Comedy]

Author: The Mechanic
Description: When using magic in a prank, make very, VERY sure you aim it correctly...
A Question of Protocol

Additional Tags: Short

39 comments:

BagOfChips said...

Wait, a fic that isn't shipping? That's a first.

Spike creeps me out in that picture.

Mush said...

I lol'd

RoflLuxRay said...

That was a good read and a good story. I really enjoyed reading it. Even though the last part was... well... enexpected, somebody was apparently taking a bath...

Darth Equus said...

Too short, but funny concept. I like it!

Hasido said...

so im interested as to whether or not celestia controlling the burping. cuz if she was it would make it even funnier(meaning that she was being trollestia here)

Anthony said...

needs more story. It's too silly to end right there.

Anonymous said...

Sweet a Spike story!!! I like the picture.

A nice and fun story overall. I felt sorry for Spike, he got the short end of the stick. It's not like he wanted to hurt anyone.

The ending seemed to come sudden. Kinda-of wished it was at least a couple paragraphs longer. What did Celestia do when she found out? What happened to Spike?

The Mechanic said...

@RoflLuxRay

It's not that Celly was taking a bath, but rather that she was belching her way across the castle heading to the medicine chest looking for a remedy. She'd have figured it out pretty quickly after. ;)

The Mechanic said...

@Hasido

She'd not been doing it long enough to figure out what had really happened... but once she did, then absolutely, she'd have done the whole Trollestia bit. ;)

Anonymous said...

Trollestia likely sent spike a basket of gems with a letter stating if he did that again she would send him to the moon.

Anonymous said...

I am screaming with laughter here.

Anonymous said...

BAHAHAH that was hilarious XD I hope for more to come.

Colt45ws said...

Hilarious! Needs to be finished!

Gnollbard said...

If I weren't sitting by my old man, I'd be giggling like a little girl. This was excellent, and I can only imagine Celestia's response. It's also kinda fun to think of Celestia just running through the castle, giggling, as she burps little things to Twilight.

Gotta say thanks for this one!

Anonymous said...

11/10
I lol'd hard.

This needs to be continued!

lesserpoet said...

This is astoundingly funny! I had to wait ten minutes to tell you, because I was rolling on the floor trying to finish the story! Genius!!!!!! It's a scream!

Thesyn said...

5 stars easily! it did end rather abruptly tho

Anonymous said...

Ending, pritty pweese?

Present Perfect said...

Man, who dares troll the great and powerful Trollestia? This was pretty funny.

La Barata said...

Flawless Victory.

Andrew said...

Wonderfully fun!

Kooldude said...

I never read fan-fics, but I read this one. I really liked it and want to do an "ending" to it, if you like

Skay said...

Looking at this from a writer's perspective, trying to top the comedy of the fic up to this point would be difficult.

Still, it felt like the moral was more about treating your friends better. For that reason, this story should probably have an ending...

I haven't laughed at a fic so hard in awhile, but it actually left me sad to see you don't intend to finish it.

Anonymous said...

is it wrong that I now wanna see art based on this fic? The idea of Celestia repeatedly letting loose a decidedly-unladylike belch of green fire on random objects, that then land on poor Twilight's head is funny as hell.

Anonymous said...

Spike
You win at pranking. Forever.

Enjoy your victory, cause you're not going to have much time to live.

Baree said...

This could have been epic. But the "How do YOU think it should end" angle doesn't work for me :P Sure, I can come up with ideas, but it would have been nice to see your take. Ah well. What was there was great, and I can totally picture Rainbow and Pinkie totally loosing it there.

The Letter J said...

I like the idea, and the story so far is pretty good, but it needs an ending.
Sometimes you can leave some things out of an ending for the reader to imagine for themselves, but it doesn't really work here. Here, it seems like the author just couldn't come up with an idea.

The Mechanic said...

@The Letter J

Had plenty of ideas, some of which folks had already thought of.

Sorry it didn't work for you, though!
Perhaps next time.

The Mechanic said...

@ The Letter J

Besides, I wanted to try something different.
As it didn't work.. well, lesson learned, yes? How else are we to improve?

Anonymous said...

@The Mechanic Would you want people to send you there own versions of an ending?

Anonymous said...

I just feel let down. I thought I was reading this great exposition that would get me to a hilarious misadventure. Then I see a page break and an apology. I can't even say the ending was abrupt; It just doesn't feel like it had an ending.

Roxor said...

Definitely a funny little story.

I know some posters seem to think it seems unfinished, but I think the ending as-is works just fine. This would work perfectly as a web-based animated short. Cue an iris-out on Spike's last line.

Anonymous said...

I loved this story, it made me laugh a lot.
However, I really, really dislike when a story, especially one I'm really enjoying, doesn't have a proper ending. It just feels like a cop-out.

Morkron said...

"One of these days Spike, bang! zoom! Straight to the moon!"

Dionysus said...

Great, it's rare a fanfiction really makes me laugh, but this is so genius it should be used for an episode in season 2 !

ponyvilleftw said...

i agree with Dionusus also... MOAR this needs a sequel or a final bit at least

Yours sincerely said...

Nicely done! Now this is a concept that could be used in the story.

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