The Greatest most Powerful Story on the blog -Seth
OH GOD IT UPDATED
Author: GravekeeperDescription: Twilight Sparkle is summoned to settle a legal matter involving The Great and Powerful Trixie... What in Equestria did she do now?All Chapters After the Break!
Google Documents
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 1
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 2
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 3
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 4
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 5
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 6
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 7
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 8
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 9
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 10
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 11
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 12
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 13
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 14
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle Part 15 (New!)
FF.net
The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle (All Links)
Additional Tags: Friendship Lubricant, Everypony, Legal Affairs, Dragon-slaying, Manehattan
HAH! 4.9!
More Stuff
Dramatic Reading (Chapter 4)
Dramatic Reading (Chapter 1)
TV Tropes Page
Alternate All Links
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| Officer Bobby Flathoof and Detective Gummie Horseshoes |
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| Movie Poster |
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| Rarity's New Fashion: Source |
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| Source |
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| source |
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| Holly Diver and Miss Spelling |
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| Rarity's Armor: Source |
514 comments:
Goshdang all these OC ponies are ruining what is otherwise an epic story.
ReplyDeleteI found your lack of Holly Diver in chapter 12 disturbing. And come on, where's chapter 13? It's felt like ages!
ReplyDeleteAlso judging by your chat on GDocs, I owe you some pistol-whipped Sentries Gravekeeper.
So tired...
ReplyDeleteExcellent work with setting up the joke for even more chaos and disaster to happen, all of it totally in character.
I enjoyed your slow-down with the exposition on Rainbow Dash's legal abilities. I am not at all surprised that she managed to qualify for the Legal Bar Exam.
The Double Rainbow (All the Way Across the Sky) reference was beautiful.
Pinkie Pie's hilarious rambling about her bringing home numerous fillies (sometimes more than one at a single instance; something I find rather in character) was good for a chuckle. It may be my depleted energy reserves, or it may be the laugh break, but I didn't laugh so hard.
Nice terminology with Twilight. I love the noun "Test Subject" for the hilarity it implies. What will this precipitate? I can't wait to see.
Trixie being so vengeful was lovely. I would love to see the disaster you spin out of this.
The Officers are going to have a hell of a time when Princess Celestia herself is involved. I love how you manage to spin together so much chaos in such orderly and logical fashion.
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteDouble Rainbow Dash! All the way!
>Rainbow Dash: Ace Attorney
ReplyDeleteOkay, if #3 is this, I wanna change my vote.
This is really good. I'm not even much of a reader, but I read all 12 chapters of this in one night. Really can't wait for the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said..
MOAR!
To: Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteThis is impressive.
I have read a good amount of the fan fiction submissions, and for the most part, was not entertained by them. For the most part, the authors seemed to be lexicologically challenged, and their works lacked an aspect of realism, of humanity, or of comedy that would distinguish them from each other beyond their different plots.
This on the other hand I find to be quite witty in nature, with excellent use of subtle references to external media and the smooth advanced writing style that was used, but wasn't overly emphasized. In general, the story has a steady pace; though not constant, it fluctuates very fluidly and therefore grants a very natural feel to the story.
You have in fact made this a work of art. In a very literal sense of that statement. You have not delved into morality or rights and wrongs.
The story has a feel that reminds me more than a little of The Picture of Dorian Gray (by Oscar Wilde).
I am looking forward to the completion of this story.
To summarize: Well done.
Definitely #1.
ReplyDeleteSo much awkwardness, I love it! :D
ReplyDeleteReally great.
ReplyDeleteWonders how it's going to end.
some might not notice but the fact you stick to ALWAYS typing out her full proper title in all these chapters makes me giggle a bit at the tought.
ReplyDelete"The Great and Powerful Trixie" always capitalizing the T, G, and P always, with obvious parts where it was missing was because she was in her not so The, or Great or Powerful self during times her title wasn't stated whenever her name was mentioned.
Also Holly Diver is so BOSS xD
And I must say you have done Rarity some amazing justice!
I have too many one liners that frankly I love to death, but won't! Spent the last 2 nights enjoying these chapters and I'd hate to spoil any more awesome moments then have already been mentioned! xD
Also "Rainbow Dash: Attorney at Law!
Bringing you Justice in 10 seconds flat with 20% more cool"
P.S. God I love this series! I love The Great and Powerful Trixie and I love how well all these characters are played out! The OC characters Holly Diver and Miss Spelling are stellar to say the very least xD
This whole series has been so
".."
"..."
"...Worth it"
http://i54.tinypic.com/98dpw2.jpg
I hope you don't mind but i gave Holly a barely noticeable mold on her cheek, idk made her look more Boss imo <3 never saw a description for her eyes and I suck at mouse art so didn't want to edit in fear I'd ruin the pick. Bad enough with what I did with Miss Spellings eyes :P
I have too many one liners that frankly I love to death, but won't post so I don't spoil any of them to those who haven't read the story yet!
ReplyDelete/sadface.jpg
I really do need to learn to use that preview button *does a sadface Applebloom impression*
P.P.S. http://i54.tinypic.com/98dpw2.jpg I hope to see those two in maybe another Fic or even a cross over to Ace Attorney games. Almost sad to think such great OC characters will go bye bye once this story ends.
I definitely want want Missy and Holly's back-story first. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard when Trixie said "THAT WAS NOT WHAT TRIXIE MEANT." lol
ReplyDeleteThis has to be my favorite fanfiction I've read so far. It seems to just get better as it goes on. I need more...
This needs a subscribe button.
ReplyDeleteThis needs a button linked to a shock collar on Gravekeeper, so we can keep him working on Chaper 13. :D
ReplyDelete@MihailK
ReplyDeleteIt has one, if you have a Blogger account. Emails you whenever there's a new comment.
Anyway, what's wrong with Seth's post updates?
@CoffeeGrunt
ReplyDeleteHe'd die within two minutes of the button's implementation.
I have a few things to say...
ReplyDeleteNormally, I'm not a fan of romantic works, even the comedic ones. (Don't get me started on the serious ones)
I also normally don't quite respect fanfics.
You, sir, get a medal for defying both of my dislikes. At the same time.
Only complaint is that I read it too fast.
this is very well written. i was sad to see that i already finished all the chapters and now i have to wait another month or 2 for the next ones.
ReplyDeleteIf I count the Anon votes as well, the poll so far is:
ReplyDeleteMissy & Holly: 3 votes
Trixie's Travails: 1 vote (don't let Seth catch you Trixie-non-believers!)
Rainbow Dash: 3 votes
I don't want to raise any false hopes- full disclosure, my RD idea is not about her legal career. Trust me when I say I'm nowhere near smart enough to write courtoom dramedy.
Oh snaps mass replies AAAAAHHHH
@30eb973c-9d45-11e0-94a7-000bcdcb8a73
I think you just described what a Pink Jagerbomb probably does to ponies.
@Anonymous
Hahaha, I am glad I'm able to provide you with the pony filth that shames you to the core :D
@Anonymous
I blame the economy, really. Not enough cast ponies to pick up the slack, I had to start hiring outside the show.
@CoffeeGrunt
She'll be back soon enough- and yes, the delay in Chapter 13 is entirely because of Team Fortress 2- I haven't seen you at all online brah, I usually play on the Control Point Podcast CP1 server, my Steam is The_Gravekeeper
@ruff1298
Oh yes,sowing chaos and discord and watching the ponies react is one of the driving forces in my writing :D
@Anonymous
Man, my chapters are short, but that's still quite a bit of reading! It's like reading two or three chapters of Dangerous Business in one sitting o.o
@Anonymous
I'm humbled that you think so highly of my writing style--what began as a fun project at the expense of Twilight has really blossomed into a labor of love, and I'm overjoyed that you and all my readers have so much praise for it; I truly appreciate it, Anon
@Anonymous
@Anonymous
Haha, someone's been paying attention! Did you notice the other little thing I did about her Great and Powerful name? That one is quite a bit more subtle >3
I'm glad you're enjoying the OC characters, that was definitely one of the major things I thought people were gonna hate XD
As for the colors, you're pretty spot-on with the colors (I like the mole, too!), though Holly's cutie mark is green, since it's three holly leaves- and don't worry, I was actually gonna post a color guide for all five OCs after Chapter 13, then all will become clear!
@LordOfTheWrongs
Huh. I should've known that, probably. But I didn't. *facehoof*
@CoffeeGrunt
@Anonymous
Oh man, I think I totally spoiled everyone by writing the first 10 chapters one every 2-3 days... Suddenly a week between updates and I'm marked for death!
@Anonymous
I'm glad to have managed to spread some Love and Tolerance your way, my good Anon!
@Anonymous
Are you sure you're gonna have to wait a month or two? I'd give it a one-day wait. Two, tops. *Hint hint*
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more. I'm really enjoying your writing style!
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteDefinitely go for Trixie's time before the Ballad. The world needs more Trixie and besides, it's relevant.
Of course the better option is to write up all THREE epilogues. =P
Amazing story!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for Ch13..I love this type of story writing and it'll give me something to read when I ship out to the Middle East lol
ReplyDelete@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteThe only answer of course would be: All of them.
However, in order of preference, 1 being the fic I want to see first:
1: Missy & Holly
2: Rainbow Dash
3: Trixie
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteOkay. Your sentries are condemned for demolition.
And yes, you deprived the junkies of their crack, whaddya expect? That's why I'm glad my fanfic isn't as popular as yours...yet.
@CoffeeGrunt
ReplyDeleteToo late! The chapter is already up! It just hasn't been updated on the ED post yet :D
Awesome timing or WHAT!?
ReplyDeleteFuck you and your telepathy. Time to kill another half hour of my life away on this awesome fic.
YES!!!! Gravekeeper you have JUST made my day!
ReplyDeleteBest damn fanfic ever.
ReplyDeleteHeh. The last couple of chapters focused a bit less on the humour and more on developing the story. Which was fine by the way, no complaints. But the last chapter was going for the laughs a bit more again and that certainly is fine too ^^
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHow does one measure love? Objectively, I mean. A profound question to say the least, but one which is ultimately futile for Twilight at the moment because she was so lost in thought thinking about it that she walked into a mailbox.
ReplyDeleteI simply love how Twilight thinks of emotional concepts similar to how Data from Star Trek did.
Really enjoying this. :D
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, I'd -love- to read a Missy & Holly spin-off once you get done, they have a really fun dynamic going.
Albanian, Bulgarian, Russian, and Catalan?
ReplyDeleteYou really did your research, didn't you, Gravekeeper? :)
My keyboard is a little more battered after part 13. You see, though Alienware keyboards are extremely rugged, they are not intended for being repeatedly bludgeoned with your head while uncontrollably laughing.
ReplyDelete...
Why does my face hurt?
Aaaaand back to waiting for the next update.
ReplyDeleteI must say, I do like Twilight's approach to romance.
@Gravekeeper At first when I saw the sword, before I relized the shield of top, it reminded me of Nagi's Sword from Okami.
ReplyDeleteThis is an Awesome Story! I cannot wait for the rest.
And as a choice for the next story; um...I'm torn between 1 and 3.
Why can't you write them as fast as I can read them?! WHY?
ReplyDeleteThis story has me smiling like an idiot. Keep it up!
... I really hope this story ends up having 40 chapters, and that I have the patience to wait for each one of them.
ReplyDelete"anesthesiology and magnetic pulse welding."
ReplyDeleteI. DIED.
I am now a dead pony. I hope you're happy.
where to start...
ReplyDeleteI died laughing at the line "put her on my bed"
"be gentle with her"
I laughed WAY harder than i should have at the double rainbow reference.
I laughed so hard that people came to check up on me to make sure i was okay when she gt stuck in the mailbox.
I was told to shut up laughing when Twilight just began to blast her way out.
And now, I am laughing at you fan fic on the way to the mental hospital that you have been responsible for sending me to because of uncontrollable laughter.
Thanks allot for the laugh.
Now I just have to break out of the asylum (again), and it'll be about time for chapter 14.
Silly Trixie! Pinkie doesn't teleport, she spacefolds!
ReplyDelete"Next to the bale and in plain sight sat Pinkie Pie, looking as merry as ever."
ReplyDeleteLINE OF THE CHAPTER.
Have I mentioned lately how much I love this series? :D
ReplyDeleteOh, and Missy was totally projecting her A.T. Field to protect her chocolates! XD
Just finished the first chapter, and there's one thing I want to mention now so I don't forget to when I get to the end.
ReplyDeleteThe name of the chauffer: "Holly Diver"
I wonder if that's supposed to be a Dio reference?
They had a song (and album) called "Holy Diver"
I didn't read any of the comments yet, so I don't know if this was mentioned already.
I have to admit, the little bit of history with Trixie and the little Zecora plug-in was lovely. I enjoyed how absolutely mortified Trixie was with how unconsciously obsessed she was with our dear Twilight. It was even funnier, when you likened her psychosomatic recovery to being that of a photo album, consisting of Twilight, all the time, every time.
ReplyDeleteThe bit about Twilight impacting the post box was delightfully random. The little bit about Celestia giving Twilight a variation of "Apply pressure, solve problem" was utterly hilarious in how this brilliant line was placed as a quiet aside.
The bit about the complex nature of Applejack's following Trixie with Rafale following Trixie was hilarious. My brain derped, then it laughed at the complexity of properly saying this setup.
There was a bit of an issue with the paragraph where Twilight was mowed down, specifically, Trixie and Twilight's POVs should have been separated. It got confusing at that point, and sad to say, it broke me out of rhythm.
The jokes in Spurbucks were hilarious because they were all so, so true. I especially loved the hilarious college joke.
Oh. My. Luna. I literally burst out laughing when the bay of hale was brought back, and then I completely lost it when Pinkie Pie wasn't even in it. Pllleeeeaaaassseee keep up the genius
ReplyDeleteY'know. The fact you've taken 13 chapters to draw out the two ponies lack of realisation of each other's love, and still have it be entertaining, is awesome. I'm jelly.
ReplyDelete@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteMaiboxes have stood in the way of scientific progress for far too long!
@Whiteout
It really is fun to write them, they've really grown on me and in the story (I wasn't planning on involving them that much!)
@Anonymous
Looks like I'm not the only one that did, eh, Anon? *bro-nerd-hoof*
@MihailK
Send Seth the invoice for any replacement you need- after all, he's the one that accepted the story into EqD!
@Anonymous
And when I was starting this story I didn't think it was gonna be any longer than perhaps 6 chapters or so...
@Sordid Euphemism
Celestia has access to Phoenix feathers- all is not lost!
@Anonymous
I love making people laugh at things they shouldn't laugh at--hope there's internet access at the (Arkham?) asylum!
@Silverspot
I was wondering who was gonna be the first to spot that!
@Anonymous
That's right anon, it's a very purposeful Dio reference--you'll find a lot of references in the story; there's definitely a number of musical ones; can you recognize them all? *Who Wants to be a Millionare fanfare plays*
@ruff1298
Does it show that I take some issue with Starbucks's prices? Cause I do XD
The part where Twilight gets mowed down is all in her perspective, I'm not too sure what you meant there.
@CoffeeGrunt
I tried to focus solely on Twilight and Trixie on this chapter, and I *still* didn't get them to the library. I'm going to have to make the chapters 30 pages long like Dangerous Business
Gravekeeper: "@Anonymous
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
Haha, someone's been paying attention! Did you notice the other little thing I did about her Great and Powerful name? That one is quite a bit more subtle >3"
This got me thinking! I wasn't sure what that meant but will try to see if I can figure it out!
Does it have to do with Great being a possible legal First name, and Powerful being a Middle name with Trixie her last name, and finally, 'The' being the equivalent of Mr/Mrs/Sir/Madam when addressing somepony? or perhaps that even in your THOUGHTS she STILL speaks about herself in a 3rd person perspective! xD
Also the arguments between Trixie and 'The' Miss Spellings were priceless lol
I have to say this Trixie, ever so Great, and Power, and 'The', is by far my favorite Trixie and feels by all means (not counting the shipping parts but hey why not) feels almost cannon <3
GK:"I'm glad you're enjoying the OC characters, that was definitely one of the major things I thought people were gonna hate XD"
Yeah I can see how some would think that, but really imo OC's are no different then Background Ponies. Like some, Octavia, DJ-P0n3, Derpy Hooves, and Lyra to name a few are no better then an OC until they get the kind of character development and love as you have given to the cast of ponies in your story. But hey that is just my humble 2 cents and don't mind if others disagree with it.
GK: "As for the colors, you're pretty spot-on with the colors (I like the mole, too!), though Holly's cutie mark is green, since it's three holly leaves- and don't worry, I was actually gonna post a color guide for all five OCs after Chapter 13, then all will become clear!"
Oh sounds like fun ^-^ and derp I can't believe I overlooked that obvious color for Holly's cutey mark (it was so obvious!) I look forward to see more talented people give them a go when you do release the color schemes <3
Also nice to hear you liked the mold on Holly! she is so boss <3
Also I'd been curious how Great and Powerful Trixie was able to come to meet miss Spelling and actually convince her to convince her to back her movie!
Also I still vote for the OC characters but I also want a Trixie story too ;^; (Dash gets too much air time but after seeing how you did Dash I wouldn't mind reading a Dash fic if it came from you!)
Well long post was long and now that my house chorse are done for me to finish posting this I shall now proceed to enjoy myself by reading chapter 13! take care Gravekeeper will look forward to your next project and or chapter of this story (which from how things were going almost felt like this series will go up to 20+ MUAHAHAHAA!)
P.S. I still can't get over how awesome Rarity's scenes were XD and damnit why do I love Twilight so much more now?! I always avoided shipping tags expecting lame makeout stories that got a bit too into detail but thanks to you I now dive in hopes not all are as bad as I thought they'd be.
P.P.S Not that I have a problem with same sex stuff, it's more I'd rather laugh or or enjoy a good adventure then hear the many ways one can describe ones lower regions and how far a tongue or hoof can go XD now this story type I can deal with.
P.P.P.S. Why do I get that vibe of Sailor Uranus and Neptune when I read some of the scenes between Holly and Missy? WHY?! and WHY haven't I hit 'Post Comment' yet??? *arms flailing*
This is just too damn funny. I'm laughing so hard tears are coming out of my eyes.
ReplyDeleteThe comedy is spot on, the awesomeness is through the roof, and lovestruck Twilight and Trixie are just too adorable together.
BEST. FANFIC. EVER.
Hey Gravekeeper...we aren't saying you have to do another chapter *picks up a gun* we're just saying its a pretty good idea.
ReplyDeleteCh14 GO GO!!!!!
>Wait, is love a wave or a particle?'
ReplyDelete-It's a 'wave' Twilight, of course. Its wavelength is located at the high extreme of the Visible Specturm, just at the limit of IR. It explain its red/red-pink color, its lower frequency thus equal a high Energy (explaining why Love is (an emotion) so powerful), it also explain why people feel warm when they start to ''feel'' (in) love. (Physics : low frequency = high energy, and vice-versa) :)
... Twilight and Trixie interactions are quite lovely, especially around the 'mailbox scene' :) ...
... Also : Scratching Point GO! :D (only one person will catch that one)...
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDelete>@Sordid Euphemism
Celestia has access to Phoenix feathers- all is not lost!
-Wait ! Did it happened inside a cutscene ? If yes, then even the Super-Soft will not do it...
>I'm glad you're enjoying the OC characters, that was definitely one of the major things I thought people were gonna hate XD
ReplyDeleteHonestly, this fandom doesn't have too much trouble with OCs. We all understand that the canon cast is fairly limited, and you have to throw in OCs (or characterize background ponies, which is the same thing) just to fill out the story. It's no big deal. :)
@Nova25
ReplyDeletePsssst! Long wavelength = low frequency = low energy. Red is the least energetic end of the visible spectrum.
DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY
ReplyDeleteOH MAH GHAWD SO INTENSE!!!
anyway, this is really funny, im squeaking while reading this lol. Friendship lubricant? I laughed so hard.
and its okay officer... I swear to drunk im not god!....
no?
But I'm not too drive to drunk!
*giggling like an idiot for a while*
ReplyDeleteThank you - again - for delivering such d'awwy and over-the-top hilariousness, chapter after chapter. I loved how (The Giggling and Powerful) Trixie & Twilight approached their thoughts about each other: so close, yet so far.
The hay bale was great. As was "When time is of the essence, a massive application of force will always yield results." Trust Celestia to give the best advice on these things....
Also, why do I have the feeling I want to draw the exact moment of "Gotcha!", here? Confound with this fic, it drives me to fanart!
How to measure love:
ReplyDeleteTake a blood sample of the test subject,
Analyse concentration on the Oxytocin hormone in blood,
Concentration of Oxytocin = magnitude of love. Therefore love equals a one-dimensional scalar variable.
Now you just need to get Twilight to steal Trixie's blood...
Cue Twilight running around with a knife screaming, "I JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU!"
ReplyDeleteI DEMAND MORE TWIXIE.
ReplyDeleteWhy can I so clearly hear Fluttershy saying "We, um, we had a betting pool."?
ReplyDeleteNow that I actually finished (most of*) the story I can give a more detailed critique on this:
ReplyDeleteLet's get a negative critique out of the way first.
I didn't look throught ALL the comments here, but, am I the only one that wasn't totally happy with how Rainbow Dash was portrayed at times in this story?
Let me explain how I didn't like her portrayal:
At times, not ALL the time, mind you, she acted too much like those people you see who try just a bit too hard to act/think that they're "cool".
One example is when she uses the phrase: "for reals!" when I read that, i cringed just a little. I have a really hard time picturing Rainbow Dash saying those kind of phrases.
It just unbecoming of her character, in my opinion.
Another example of this is her using the word "babe". (you know, when people say things like: "come on, chill out, babe! I got this!") Again, it sounds like she's trying WAY too hard act like she's better than everyone around her!
I know, I know that she acts like this pretty much in the show too, but not so much as she was in the story.
It just makes me want to (and I'm really, really, REALLY sorry for saying this, but I just have to let this out for now) go through my screen, in to the story and... god, this actually hard to say... smack her a few times, as if to say, "Please, don't ever say things like that again! Please!"
It's getting to the point where it's getting on my nerves a bit.
Another thing I didn't like about her in this story was how in Chapter 11 (I think?) was how whe was kind of boasting about how awesome she is to Rarity.
Again, I know she dose this in the show all the time, but in the story, it was a liiiiitle over the top, even for her.
Just to note: I'm not saying all this because I hate Rainbow Dash! I absolutely adore RD! She's actually my second favorite pony! If there are any RD fans here (and I knoe there are!) and my harsh critique offended any of you, in any way, then you have my sincerest apologies for all of it!
I just wanted to get all of the above text off my chest while I could!
Now, I got to say, I feel a little guilty for typing everything there. Now I feel like if I actually met RD, I would just want to hug her and apologize for hours for the hurtful things I said above! Bu, that's why I put that apology up there as well, isn't it?
in fact here's a TL;DR version of the above:
I was 100% impressed with RD portrayal in the story.
Now, I'll shut up about it, I'm just rambling (not so, I guess) in-coherently now.
Now I'll give some positive feedback about her in this story:
I did love her acting like a lawyer! Simply hilarious! Especially "OBJECTION!", "WE'RE NOT EVEN IN COURT!"
I LOVE Holly Diver in this story! She is one badass character! I really like her personality! Simply awesome!
Drunk ponies are awesome ponies!
"Premature Casting" - BEST. TERM. EVER!
Never thought I'd see (or would that be read?) Pinkie Pie doing a rendition of "Paint it Black"!
At first when I read the first line of it in the story I had trouble figuring out if it was being sung or not. Because there was no indication of it being sung right of the bat.
In conclusion, this is turning out ot be one awesome story! (once you look past my 'critique' above) Can't wait for the next part to get added!
*by most of I mean that I somehow skipped part 4! I'll definitely read that part soon to see what I missed!
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWhoops! That wa supposed to say "un-impressed" not "impressed"
To answer Twilight's two questions:
ReplyDelete1) Well she DID travel with that carriage she hauled herself ALL OVER EQUESTRIA for her shows, so one would think traveling with that much across great distances would likely make one a bit buffed.
2) For one so astute as Twilight Sparkle, one would have wondered why she hadn't taken The Giggling and Powerful Trixie's SpeedxDistance / space between her projected path of teleporting to the typical 1.5 second reaction it takes most ponies to react to a sudden crisis.
In this case being Twilight's failure to add that any pony traveling at 35 mph needs a good 20 feet to make a full sudden stop before crashing into a certain Lavender Pony that had to be magically scraped off the sidewalk.
GOD THESE CHAPTERS ARE PAINSTAKINGLY SHORT! CONFOUND YOUR WRITING!
Btw this was probably your most d'aww inducing chapter yet!! actually YES yes it is!
and OMG this is like the Lord of the Rings level of waiting between chapters! only there is no telling how many 10's of 40's of chapters there are left in this series! damn your overly detailed multi-perspective and smooth articulate writing skills! and damn your awesome Trixie and Twilight! freaking best ship this side of god I can't think of any! *throws over a table* DAMN YOU! NOW I NEED TO MAKE AN ACCOUNT AND PRAY I CAN FIND A 10 STAR RATING FOR THIS! 6 IS TOO LOW~!
Just wondering:
ReplyDeleteIs Trixie meant to come off as overbearing when she's mentally complaining about Twi's Elevator Talking? Because you are totally allowed to talk to the people you're with when there's nobody else in the elevator. If strangers get in you shut up, yes, but there's no need to play Silence Bubble with people you were already walking and talking with.
I even checked a couple etiquette guies to make sure I was right on that before posting! (Because I basically AM Twilight...)
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI think you're right about Dash's speech. The phrases you called out are a little more Gilda than Dash. She's one of the tougher voices to get a handle on, really -- she's casual, but kind of stops juuuust short of "totally radical".
I think I see where you're coming from on the boasting issue. Dash tends to respond to compliments with something that means, "Yeah, I know I'm awesome," and to challenges with "Okay, I'll show you I'm awesome." But she doesn't tend to dwell on it.
When she does dwell on it, she's covering up for her insecurity by trying to convince you how awesome she is.
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for responding to that lengthy critique!
It makes me feel SO much better now knowing that (at least so far) there's someone who understands that when I wrote that I wasn't trying to put Dash down.
You do not want to know how guilty I actually felt after writing that bit! It felt like I was actually insulting her, herself, right to her face.
TL;DR: I'm really glad you understand how I felt about her in this story! *brohoof*
Okay! I got chapter four read (The chapter I somehow skipped)!
ReplyDeleteNow it makes more sense why Applejack didn't have her hat for some of the story!
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell, that said, I disagree about how much that ruins the character. I'm going to take a wild guess that Dash is your waifu -- for me, everything you mentioned is a pretty minor speedbump in an otherwise fantastic story.
Agreed. Gratz on the EDaily Seal of Approval Gravekeeper. (Adds to list of jealousy points.) :P
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
No need to feel bad or guilty about having an opinion, Anon! Critiques are always welcome--that's one of the few ways someone can get perspective and improve.
I freely admit (and I think I may have already eariler in the comments) that my approach to comedic writing is most definitely over-the-top; to a certain extent, I would say that I've exaggerated most every character, not just Rainbow Dash- just look at AJ's accent taking a drunken tour of Texas and the nearest 10 other lower states.
It wasn't my intention to have her come off as particularly Gilda-ish, though I'm obviously not sticking too strictly to their exact canon personalities, what with the rampant drinking and innuendo being thrown around. I was aiming for her boasting to be seen as good-natured; more overconfident than condescending.
Though I can see how you could've gotten that impression of her from the lines you quoted, I'll have to disagree with you on the park scene with Rarity- if you're referring to when she did the quick hop to the Clydesler Building, I thought it seemed pretty in-character for her; she needed to stroke her own ego a bit after all the soul-bearing she did to Rarity.
Besides, at least in her head, she does think at least a little bit that she's really above the normal pony; for example, her line in "Boast Busters" where she nonchalantly declared that Trixie shouldn't strutting around thinking she's better than the rest of them when "...ya got [Rainbow Dash] around being better than the rest of us!"
Also, and this is important, she's been wearing Applejack's hat while she's said those lines! :D
Jokes aside, don't worry too much about other RD fans (they will Love and Tolerate you), speak your mind, and thanks for being honest; I can't stop being over-the-top (it's what the fic runs on!), but I promise to at least sit back and look a bit more closely at her mannerisms.
I can't be held accountable about how she acts whenever she's wearing the hat, though.
Other than that, I'm glad you've liked the rest of the story- thanks mightily for both the critique and praise! Thanks for sticking with it!
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteIsn't Dash everyone's waifu, at least in the fandom? ...and the fics? ...and the fanart? ...and the show?
@CoffeeGrunt
Dude, I didn't even know such a seal existed!
*Trying hard not to squeal like a schoolfilly*
I'mma squeal like a MANfilly, thankyouverymuch.
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteI actually never even realized it until you said it when you weren't using their exact canon personalities.
Thanks for stating that! And I'll definitely keep that in mind when I read future chapters with Dash in it! Especially if she ends up wearing Applejacks hat again!
Also, I think it was to me that you said that there were other "musical" references in the story, other than the Dio reference (Holly Diver) and That Rolling Stones song reference ("Paint it Pink").
The only other one I recognized was the name of chapter 4: "And Justice For All" (A Metallica album and song)
I agree with the numbers guy, I read the parts where they were drunk, and it was like 2 am, /I/ felt like I was drunk (though I am 17 and have never had more than a few sips) I was laughing hysterically at every minor detail and felt like falling out of my chair. Had a hard time going to bed because of a headache and laughter. Really good, cant wait until the next part :)
ReplyDeleteI never knew it existed either. They invented a medal for you, you're like the soldier. :P
ReplyDeleteOh my GOD this is amazing 0_0 MOAR!
ReplyDeleteSo when Trixie is feeling down, does she think of herself as "The and Trixie"?
ReplyDeleteY U NO FINISHED!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHolly Diver is my new favorite pony, I LOVE THIS FANFIC!
ReplyDeleteI'll give this thing a shot...
ReplyDelete*7 chapter later*
O.K. now I'm playing Phoenix Wright and listening to "Paint it Pink"
Oh, jeez. Where to begin.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I usually don't go for shipping. But for some reason, this... me gusta.
Secondly, the strange combination of ponies and alcohol is amazing. I would have never thought of it myself in a million years.
Thirdly, all of the everything in this fic is sparkly with awesome, and just reaffirms my love for everypony (though I still find Trixie's large following a mystery, but whatevers. That's just my opinion).
+5 and bookmark'd
Holy Celestia.
ReplyDeleteAppledash? Twixie? lawyer-dash? pinkie-the-prude? Armed and Dangerous rarity?
This story is taking every element about a MLP FIM fic I have ever enjoyed, wrapping them all into one gloriously-hilarious thome, and throwing in entirely new concepts that are so mind-bogglingly perfect that I can't believe I never even thought of them before.
This story is perfect. This story single-handedly makes the entire show 20% cooler.
And I crave more.
I should have known Pinkie was the one who built Ponyville...
ReplyDelete@LordOfTheWrongs There's a difference between being feminine and being a "lady".
@Brony Neumo
ReplyDeleteIndeed. Please, sir, can we have some more?
I'm loving this fic and I can't wait for ch. 14 to come out ^o^
ReplyDeleteAs for the poll, I'm gonna go with #3.
Agh, 15 days without an update, why must you torture us?! (I'm kidding, take your time. Unless, you know, you feel inspired to upload something real soon, in which case, feel free to hurry :P )
ReplyDeleteNo word from the author in 16 days. My epic story sense tells me either next update is very soon or Gravekeeper is dead.
ReplyDeleteI will forever call Alcohol Friendship Lubricant from now on. Brilliant.
ReplyDelete@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteMay I vote for all three? :D
What ever happened to this story?
ReplyDeleteRumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, my good bronies; the short story is that I've been extremely busy these past couple weeks and haven't had the time to sit down for a long enough period of time to finish the chapter.
ReplyDeleteI actually have two versions of the chapter because I'm still deciding some of the order of events, but I'm gonna try to get this one done by tomorrow because I want the chapter to be up as much as you guys do!
I'll post a bit later to do a mass reply; back to writing!
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteIt's quite alright man. You don't get to be the greatest and most powerful story on the blog by rushing anything. I'm sure it will be well worth the wait when the next chapter is feed into our hungry, waiting eyeballs.
@Gravekeeper We waited +20 days, we sure as hell can wait a little more, just take your time, since I know this chapter will be as good as the others!
ReplyDeleteThis story is amazing, can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the good work ^-^
ReplyDeleteI love the innuendo with the horns, and the follow up innuendo after that.
ReplyDeleteLol, premature magic'd all over her face.
Gravekeep's ALIVE! *faints*
ReplyDelete*is given Smelling Salts*
WHOA! ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.....
*faints from lack of inhaling*
*given smelling salts and a brown paper bag to breath into*
SO GLAD YOUR BACK! =D take your time really though I can wait a bit longer! *hyperventilates into paper bag, someone slaps the bag at it's fullest*
*GASP!* Y U DO DAT!?
and WHY DIS ONLY GET 302 COMMENTS! TIS UNFAIR! This not being over 1000 comments is making Fluttershy cry, you like seeing her cry don't you people? DON'T YOU?!
Yes it HAS a shipping tag! but get over it! READ THIS NAOW! This and Past Sins are as equally good reads with or without shipping tags!
*pets Fluttershy*
It's ok now... everything will be alright, shhh~ now ignore the insecure ponies, shhh~ there there *continues petting Fluttershy while combing her mane*
/Cátsy the too lazy/shy to make an account, mostly lazy though...
No rush at all - if you need time, have as much as you need. That said, I REALLY hope you don't need much more... but I can be patient if it means better quality
ReplyDeleteBy the way guys, Gravey's been abandoning us for BC2 and TF2, the horror, THE HORROOOR!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though mate, I've written a 10k chapter and two 4k chapters since this, head in the game Engy. :P
Btw was that a Halo Reach reference?
"All chapters after the break"
ReplyDeleteWhat does that mean? How long is this break? Do want chapter 14! It's deliciousness will be, delicious..
@Demolicious "The break" refers to the point where a post on the blog cuts off and displays "read more". So what Seth meant when he said that all the links were "after the break" was that to read the chapters, you had to click "read more" on the post.
ReplyDeleteAs for when the next chapter's coming out... Gravekeeper posted about a week ago saying that he was about done with the next chapter and going to submit it soon. Pretty sure he died, though. That's what ED tends to decide every time an author goes over three days without updating.
tl;dr of my review:
ReplyDelete"Twixie time! I love that term! Twixie Twixie Twixie.
The Greatest most Powerful Story on the blog."
-Seth
(Full review below)
Wall-of-text of a review that doesn't matter:
"Confound them ponies they drive me to read fan fiction but I like it."
-Anonymous
Well this is the first FF that I ever read in my life and after doing so I acquired an interest to read more.
Well it's funny and the shipping well...as much as I am anti-shipping(Not so much anymore maybe my shipping preferences will be selective Twixie being one.) this piece of art is really well made. The comedy and shipping is balanced that it penetrates to me faster kind of feeling like I am weak on my knees from both laughing and the awkward feeling of reading and liking a shipping fic with an added bonus that The Great and Powerful Trixie is my favorite character and Twilight being the pony whom I have the most similarities with.
Also the side stories are great and everyone gets enough attention. Rarity kicks police butt, RD is Phoenix Wright, Fluttershy as herself but with an iron liver, AJ who is pro-love as said on the fic, and Pinkie being Pinkie (I ain't explaining sh*t because it's Pinkie). And Spike well also being Spike.
Then the OCs are really well done too. They just pop-up out of nowhere like for example at the latest chapter Rafale just pops up out of nowhere with AJ and company and the reasons why they are there. Then Holly and Miss Spelling were also there eating chocolate.
Story: 5/5
Characters: 5/5
Comedy: 5/5
Shipping: 5/5
Twixie: Take all my bits/5
Final rating: 5/5 while taking all my bits
I still love the whole scene where Twilight gets plowed by Trixie! (wait... poor choic of words considering this has a shipping tag!)*ahem* I love the WHOLE chase scene with Twilight and Trixie being cutesy and them running through the crowd like a couple silly fillies playing tag <3
ReplyDeleteThat last chapter especially near the end was d'aww inducing and funny as all hell xD
Eagerly waiting for the next bit of this. :D
ReplyDeleteWant more Dramatic reading! =D
ReplyDeleteIt's fun listening to him tell tell the story like that. Also would save me from reading that epicly long story myself a second time over in it's entirety XD
CONFOUND THIS AUTHOR! HIS LATENESS IN UPDATES DUE TO GAMING AND HAVING A LIFE DRIVE ME TO RE-READ HIS 13 CHAPTERS AGAIN!
ReplyDeleteI hope you surprise us with 2-3+ chapters as a certain other story did at a time! or at least a reeeaaaallly long chapter! because I'm almost done reading this story over a second time! xD
Ok, you win Gravekeeper, I am now willing to beg for more chapters.
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness though I am glad to hear you're still working on this. I was really afraid you had abandoned this fic, which would have been a real tragedy.
Crap, now I truly want to read the new chapter, after tonight's fiasco with the ending of "Of Mares and Magic", but again Gravekeeper, take your time, don't rush it, and for the love of Luna and her new republic, please don't end it in a sad tone, please, today's hit was too much for my fanfic reading self...
ReplyDelete@Enrique262
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel man, It was like a punch in the gut. I've decided to do the next best thing, and reread all the old chapters... again. Maybe some actual twixie will cheer me up.
@Volk
ReplyDeleteI agree. I feel like that story ended up betraying the readers. It'd be fine if that wasn't the last chapter...
GRAVEKEEPER, I call upon you to save us from this wallowing pit of despair! HELP US, YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE. D:
*reads the first sentence*
ReplyDelete5 Stars
sorry for commenting again but... "premature casting"? oh that is too good!!!
ReplyDeleteStill waiting for the next part.
ReplyDelete@Volk
ReplyDeleteThe ending was a hoax, now I feel everything is all right with the world!
Too bad I got send to one of the most dangerous cities in venezuela....
@Enrique262
ReplyDeleteMeh, the epilogue of Mares & Magic sucked even more than the supposed ending.
We're still counting on you to give us a good Twixie ending, Gravekeeper! No pressure! }:)
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you there. The epilogue was so inconsistent with the rest of the story; altered the personalities of characters; and invalidated a lot of the work the author had done in setting up brilliant back stories and other plot points.
On the topic of Friendship Lubricant though - this fiction was a fantastic read. Having bookmarked this a month ago and never having found the time to read it (or forgetting to), I flew through 13 chapters without so much as pausing last night. It flows so well and kept me interested and chuckling throughout.
Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant. I sincerely hope there will be more to come of this fiction - as it would be a sad thing to lose such a work of comedic literature.
Mass reply! As always, thanks to everyone for reading and commenting, and I'm very sorry I've taken so long with the next chapter. It's quite silly of me, but I'm having trouble with the first half of it--I've got FIVE versions of it now! As a few of you may know, most of my free time when I'm not at work is spent with friends, so I'm barely at home most of the time, and thus, haven't had an extended period of time to really sit down and sort myself out. And yes, when my friends invite me out or they come over to my house, they usually want to get their LAN party shenanigans on XD
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
Off the top of my head, I can think of at least four or five more musical references in the story, one of which I believe no one's ever pointed out to me [i]yet[/i].
@LordOfTheWrongs
The Only As Powerful as Celestia Trixie
@Silas Davidson
Trixie's following? C'mon, she's presented as an antagonist; there's a number of tropes detailing the awesomeness of the evil side, even if Trixie isn't evil as much as she is the victim of Spike's "My magic pony is better than your magic pony" measuring contest with Snips and Snails.
@Anonymous
Something tells me you're excited about this story :D. And hey, that's 300 more comments than I ever expected to get when I started it!
@CoffeeGrunt
It's not a race, my Meridian-straddling friend :D. And remember I'm a PC Master Race Guy... Any similarities to Halo are entirely unintentional!
@PH Brony
Many, many thanks for the kind words--I'm glad I was able to leave a good impression on you for fanfics to come! Might I suggest [i]Dangerous Business[/i] by Jetfire? He's the one I've given all of my bits to! For a shorter read, perhaps some [i]Vinyl Scratch Tapes[/i]?
@Anonymous
That sounds like exactly the way Holly would describe the scene. "Oh yeah, Ms. Sparkle got plowed to Tottringham and back by Trixie! Big smile on her face after that, too."
@Anonymous
I know! I had a huge grin on my face all throughout the dramatic reading!
@Enrique262
@Volk
@Kayriel
@Anonymous
@haganbmj
That's too bad about that fic, I had been reading glowing reviews about it up until the surprise [Sad] ending. I haven't read the fic yet (cause I don't want to unnecessarily delay my own fic even more by going on a fic binge!).
And of course I used brackets instead of brockets. Formatting FAIL.
ReplyDelete@Gravekeeper
ReplyDelete"Oh yeah, Ms. Sparkle got plowed to Trottingham and back by Trixie! Big smile on her face after that, too."
You came about THIS close to owing me a new monitor, bub.
(Bwahahahaha! XD)
Please continue! Eagerly waiting for part 14 and so on! Amazing story.
ReplyDeleteYou know another great story that keeps building up nicely is "The Empty Room"! Unlike other comments I WON'T ACTUALLY SPOIL THE STORY FOR YOU! (didn't expect to hear about Of Mares and Magic in these comments of all things! I was actually saving that for when I finished the last few chapters of The Empty Room and Giggles at the Ghostly! I am disappoint sun, to hear it ended so sourly and out of pace...)
ReplyDeleteThere are so many good fanfics on this site that while I would drop them all to read anything new to this series, I'm glad that the community is still so alive and creative with their works... I might actually give that Mentar the Gryphon story a go some time after I'm done with the current 4 I'm reading, so don't feel too pressured by our love for this Fic, last thing I'd want is you releasing at the speed of Past Sins and start screwing up grammar and throwing your characters out of sync just to please the masses then having to go back and rewrite 13+ chapters to please a few unhappy readers! (yeah, I'm sore about that... people don't understand how feelings work once you give your all to a story, only to have it re-warped and expected to re-read!) Though in the case of this series I'd have re-read it twice already so I'd actually be ok with that!
So yeah writer's block sucks! maybe release all 5 versions and have a vote! as tacky as it sounds you can make them all the hallucinations/dreams of a much plowed Twilight after that one scene! and she just DREAMT all 5 possibilities? IDK! but yeah umm... take your time~ no need to RUSH~ I umm... I can wait! *forced smile* no really I can! just promise you'll release something before I'm 50! XD
BTW I'd give anything to read an epix sax Twilight playing for an Indifferent Trixie scene! http://www.yourepeat.com/watch/?v=6EjVnFjJtmw this is like the unofficial music for Twixie imo! lol
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteNot a race, true...but still. I love the irony that friendship is stopping you writing a story, based on a show about how magical friendship is. XD
If you need help sifting through the five chapters, theis Meridian-straddling brony would be happy to oblige, of course you'd have to not appear at crazy Puerto-Rican times. :P
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeletePH Brony here. (Too lazy to log-in because I'm just on my home PC I rarely use.) Thanks for those suggestions. I just finished my exams so I should have time to read them. But I think I should read Tapes first because I like to read shorter ones first.
I hear about this story ALL THE TIME, so it's time I read it!
ReplyDeleteI'm finding myself really confounded by Twilight's attitude towards Trixie at the beginning. First a lingering sense of responsibility -- that I get -- but then worry and finally anger? What?
What?
What? I'm so not buying this. So Twilight's been secretly in love with Trixie ever since she ran out of Ponyville? Heck no at all. If not for the praise I've heard about this story and that seal of approval up there, I'd have stopped reading before the end of chapter 2. Just... the amount of injokes and fanservice! The telegraphing! I'd rather read about the Cutie Mark Crusader dragon slayers.
I can't finish this. Maybe it's the hype, maybe I had some weird expectations coming into this, but it's just not doing anything for me. I expected a little more finesse, I suppose.
@Picture Perfect
ReplyDeleteI see what you mean. There IS quite a bit of inside jokes (though I don't nessecarily find that a bad thing if done right.) And I agree, the Twixie here Isn't exactly realistic. But then again, I don't come to this fic for beautiful shipping. I come to it for comedy.
There are three types of shipping I actually bother with: basic relationship building (aka friendshipping), comedic shipping, or just a really well-written, mostly realistic, beautiful love story. (If more than one can fit together, all the better.) This story fits the second category with a vengeance. I don't care if some of the shipping isn't realistic as long as I like the humor it brings around. And for me (probably along with most of the fans of this story), THIS is some good comedy.
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDelete1, then 3, then 2
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteWriting endings is tough, I suppose I shouldn't have expected much more xD
Anyways though, great to hear that this is still a project. No rush at all on the production of such, as personal life should always come first - and just the acknowledgment that there is progress being made is enough to keep my interest.
I'll look forward to the next chapter with bated breath.
@GravekeeperHrm, if you're not going to do a Rainbow Dash courtroom comedy, can I officially add that to my "to do" list? I'll be sure to provide full credit when I write it.
ReplyDelete@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing. One of the few fan fictions I enjoy. I want more tho D:. I just read 13 chapters in just over an hour. Please update soon :(.
As I was typing this there were 666 star rating votes given to this story. There are currently 335 prior to this post of comments, a lot of which are repeat posters.
ReplyDeleteSeems a huge margin of the 666 raters are too shy to admit they love this ship masterpiece <3
I say we should all pitch in some dough to higher animators and voice actors from the show and totally make a fan show/movie out of this like fans of Touhou did with Mid Summers Dream! xD
If Trixie is too much for Hasbro's season 2 to contain then we might as well make a more grown up side series that can! >X3
P.S. Gravekeeper I you totally need some Twilight in your life. She'd so make you the perfect schedule to fit in all your friends, hobbies, work/school, and just enough time to focus on writing more of this great series!
'hire' not *higher* lol minds going dead from all these fics.
ReplyDeleteWhat are your thoughts as to why there will be no Trixie in S2? Is Hasbro aware of her following? Do they fear only more Twixie fics will spawn if they gave her a return episode? Or is S2 so filled with Sea Ponies there just wasn't room for likes such as The Great and Powerful Trixie?
All this and more after the break!...
@Cátsy
ReplyDeletewait, who said she wasn't in season 2? I know they haven't confirmed her, but they haven't denied her return either, have they?
16 days since Gravekeeper's last post... I just want to continue reading this absolutely magnificent story. Y.Y
ReplyDelete*Waves hand in front of monitor.*
ReplyDeleteYou will have a new chapter.
Mind Trick y u no work on internet?
All right, in one week the story will have 2 months without an update, and although I hate to do this, I need to say it: were the hell is the new chapter?!?
ReplyDeleteSo, I have to ask this: did you ran out of steam Gravekeeper? You don't care anymore for the characters, the story, or even the show itself? Please, just lets us know, since its very frustrating when a fic you care for dies and the author never speaks up about it (it happened to me 2 years ago with another story, that was part of a big fanfiction universe I simply loved, I just keep coming back looking for updated for over a year, until I simply gave up...), please, just... just let us know.
@Enrique262
ReplyDeleteMass reply coming in a couple of days, but no, I've definitely not abandoned this fic. Sorry if I made it seemed like I did; like I mentioned before, I've been busy pretty much every day, be it work or just not being home. There's also me taking in and taking out lots of elements from the dialogue because I'm unhappy with the flow or because I want to set up the later chapters--that's another reason it's been slow-going.
I don't instantly reply to the comments here because it would inflate the comment count, and would flood the inbox of anyone subscribed to this post. How about this: I'll make use of the author blog feature over on FimFiction.net as a way to give status updates for the progress of the chapter?
And here, I know it's not the new chapter you guys wanted, but I made a couple of drawings I was going to submit with Chapter 14--I'll let you guys see them now to tide you over, even if it's just for a little bit :D
Miss Spelling
Rafale... In socks!
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteRafale's expression looks more like it's some kind of drunken prank rather than getting caught doing something weird. First pony who passes out, you put socks on their hooves, then wake them up and laugh as they try to scramble across the floor...
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a story set afterwards in which Rainbow Dash might continue her lawyering but, if done well, Trixie's disappearance could also be quite interesting to read. I can't say that I'm overly keen on OCs as mane characters, even when they have been introduced as minor characters previously though.
I would say (3) dependant on details of the storyline.
Also: awesome work so far on The Ballad, any estimate as to when we might see chapter 14?
Bloody brilliant. Loved every moment of reading this. Well worth staying up till 5am for.
ReplyDeleteI love this. Need ch 14 xD
ReplyDeleteThis is far too funny for it's own good, I just can't stop reading. I'm not usually one for comedy fics, but this is done ridiculously well.
ReplyDeleteEven caught me singing along with Paint it Pink.
>mfw I see what you did there every twelve seconds
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeletePlease come give us another chapter, there's only 2 Fics that I've been wanting updated and the other one I think has been left dead in the water.
As a bribery, I'll give you a cookie when we get chapter 14.
/)^3^(\
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteConfound these ponies, and confound your incredible skills of authorship, Gravekeeper!
I just sat and read through all thirteen extant chapters in one sitting; I should send you a bill for the lost hours of work consumed giggling my ass off. And I would do so, if it hadn't been so completely freaking worth it!
Story update: Had a hell of an exhausting week at work, but it's finally over, let's see if I can finally hunker down and finish this thing.
ReplyDeleteYou guys will be glad to know that some beta-readers got a look at chapter 14 last weekend (including CoffeeGrunt- go check his own stories!), and so far, they approve!
Oh, and whoever started The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle TVTropes page, you are an awesomesauce brony!
Go ahead and check it out, and fill it up; it's missing a ton of shout-outs :D
@Present Perfect
Well, Twi was worried because she didn't know what had happened to Trixie, and then she felt angry because of all her apparently wasted worry and searching.
And she wasn't secretly in love, that would imply that she knew what that mounting feeling was and was hiding it; on the contrary, she had no idea what it was, or that she was being so obvious about it.
Either way, it's alright if the story doesn't appeal to you; thanks for giving it a try, anyways!
@Party Favors
Yeah, I hadn't set out to make a grand love story for the ages; I didn't even think anyone was gonna find it funny when I first started!
But yeah, I'm using the shipping more as a vehicle to drive the comedy; you'd get a good laugh at how the story actually came to be.
Doesn't mean I don't consider Twixie OTP, because c'mon, it totally is.
@icefox01
Go for it!
@Cátsy
@Cátsy
Trixie is far too Great and Powerful for a single episode; clearly, they're saving her for the movie :D
@Bladecutter
These are not the ponies you're looking for.
@LordOfTheWrongs
Drunk ponies? In The Ballad? Pshaw... I say Pshaw, good sir!
@TheSweetestBelle
*Typing all the chapters with a trollface on*
@Nemmisis
Oreo plz!
@Scorched Wing
Good, cause I'm poor and Irish (ok, not Irish, but Irish in spirit)
All I can say is, Chapter 14 is looking sweet, so I dunno why Gravekeeper isn't just releasing it already. Damned standards, I've released three fic series in the meantime! XD
ReplyDeleteTrust me, since he's planning on improving it further, it's gunna be a doozy.
Any hints on when we can see chapter 14? I've been dieing to read it! Really, I'm almost dead now! Please oh please oh please oh please oh pleeeeeeeaaaaaasssseeee!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete@RifferKyle
ReplyDeleteJust be patient he said he post his status on FimFiction.net and it sounds like it's mostly done so soonish? O.o he does work a lot.
My goodness if GK did not have work and his friends as a distraction I think we'd all be overdosing on this fic which would of probably been in the 30's or 40's of chapters by now lol
BTW GK! after seeing that socks pic I SOO wish she was a more feminine stallion Pony then a mare! it would make a good contrast to Holly imo xD shota pony is cute in socks! XD
Rafale: Hears a slight chuckle from behind "Oh god I think she saw me! QUICK stand perfectly still and DO.NOT.BREATH." as he thought to himself/herself (yeah I know it's a she but it works either way!)
The idea of a cross-dressing pony now amuses me too much! curse that adorably cute drawing of Rafale in socks! ><* perfect as a girl but one hella plot twist if it was rally a colt! I can't stop grinning like a fool now thank you GK... GEEZ!
P.S. It's amazing no matter what fics I read I always end up thinking of this one and how much I can't wait to read more <333 wtb more fan art and comic starring more antics from the oc cast!
ReplyDeleteP.P.S. Oh and to another pony that asked no it isn't official that Trixie won't be in S2 that was a misunderstanding from a source that denied ALL the rumors one guy was posting on S2 passing himself as someone that worked with the crew.
I merely deducted that with the way some people including Jayson spoke of Trixie which lead me to deduce in my own mind that I shouldn't expect a Trixie appearance till S3 at least.
P.P.P.S. I will continue going on without knowing any estimates to when this next chapter will hit because I hate knowing, it makes the waits so much longer some how! I mean this COUNTER FOR SEASON 2! HINT HINT! is practically slowing down time itself!
It's funny btw because most short anime series start off wth 13 episodes so it almost feels like I'm waiting for a new season to one of my favorite anime to start it's second season!
Guh I need to start typing and get ready to head out... take care everyone and so good to hear from ya Gravekeeper!
S2 of MLP was soo worth staying up for the mare-o-thon! Q is best Troll! I won't spoil much but Fluttershy won that episode but damn if Pinkie didn't almost steal it, so close!
ReplyDeleteNow just need s2 of Ballad to start *fangirl squeels! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMGKJ6aw_h0 * CMC FICTION WRITERS YAY!!!!!
... How the BUCK did I miss this awesome fic?! HOW?!?! Read it straight through last night, and HOLY BUCK! MOAR! Trevor demands MOAR! NOW!!!
ReplyDelete... Please?
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. My stars. All of dem. (Except for the ones that are huge, flaming balls of gas. Don't want to kill you! XD) I keep throwing money at my iPod, but nothing's happening! GAH! Must... Be patient... *Passes out*
@The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor
ReplyDeleteSPREAD THE WORD! SEASON 2 OF THIS WILL START SOON! XD like VALVE SOON!
Best in comedy and OC goodness with a very in character style (if ponies were rated higher then Y on TV) it'd be story right here!
Nice to see more people reading this fic even if a lot of the new readers aren't commenting in fear of being made fun of for reading a ship fic maybe? I would hope not =(
I honestly never read a Ship fic until THIS came out. Surprisingly ship fics, especially if they make it into THIS site are usually because they are good in some cool way!
Glad you enjoyed this =D
Check out "The Empty Room" if you haven't yet btw it's a fantastic story too, not as fast building as this but it will NOT disappoint!
@Catsy
ReplyDeleteTrevor is already aware of The Empty Room, actually! One has commented multiple times there, especially as one makes guesses about plot twists, is wrong, then makes moar! XD
Trevor actually got to help slightly in the upcoming chapter 19! It was only for one small aspect, an opinion on one thing, but... Still! One is eagerly awaiting chapter 19 of that, and the next chapter of this fic! (One can ony imagine how expectant everypony else has been, waiting for this long...)
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
"despite the presence of the energetic Cutie Mark Crusaders, who had spent the first two hours at the Library bouncing off the walls and generally sowing DISCORD and DISHARMONY wherever their little hooves trotted."
ReplyDelete... Clearly you deserve all of your six stars.
If your work was canonized, it would already have appropriate foreshadowing for season 2.
Need more
ReplyDeleteTwilight and trixie are adorable in this
And now I'm back to a tie over which ship is better twixie or twiluna
Pinkie is a master of disguise :P
@The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor
ReplyDeleteThat sounds fantastic ^-^ story seems to be nearing it's end there too. So much has gone on there and it's been nice that they try and keep you guessing!
And as for this story Ballad is my all time favorite story on EQ (and that's saying a lot now! LOL) I just hope Gravekeeper is still in good health I miss seeing his witty replies ;3
@onstar-ranger
YES I KNOW! and that scene has ALWAYS been there <3 then again doesn't everyone see them as the bringers of chaos wherever they roam?
It still amazes me how extensive Gravekeeper's pool of awesomeness is, I mean Twilight and Trixie is one thing but to add so much depth to his OC's, each of which is a play on words or reference to somethings. (i.e. Rafale is named after an actual Jet fighter plane.)
I sure hope this goes to at least 26 chapters :P then you have a whole series! must find a group of people to do a DRAMATIC dramatic reading with John de Lancie voice for the telling of the story with the cast having their own voice overs when they speak or think!
Ok, enough crazy talk from me... my weekly checkup here is done else I flood this place with silly impossible ideas... I wonder if he reads and if he'd read this fic on a dare? John de Lancie is cool but idk if he'd be that cool about doing a dramatic reading of a chapter or even A scene!
I should dare to ask him... would he be offended I wonder? he IS an ACK-TORE after all and I am but a random faceless post on the internet. Hmm...
@Gravekeeper Almost a month latter I give you a reply, so sorry about that...
ReplyDeleteWell, its good to know that you still want to continue the story, yet its been a lot of time since this statement and your last mass reply, and although I do understand that this is a hobby, the lack of a new chapter still worries me.
Still, what I've seen is that part of the delay is because of your quality standards, so I'm pretty confident that when we finally see chapter 14, its going to be worth the wait.
Oh, and those drawings are awesome!
Soooo... how's it goin'?
ReplyDeleteLast update: Fourth of July.
ReplyDelete...
You know, it doesn't have to have EVERY error ironed out of it. I think we can handle a few rough bits. But give us at least a sign.
Rainbow Dash, Ace Attorney!!!!
ReplyDelete@onstar-ranger
ReplyDeleteMind. Blown.
Er, I mean, I meant to do that. /liarjack
@Party Favors
You might want to take the fact that I've sped up the uploading of the chapters to FimFiction (around 4 or 5 last week) as a sign of something.
Perhaps, something like a countdown. Or count up to something.
@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteYou make me a happy pony, telling us it's coming without telling us it's coming.
Chapter 14 will never be released
ReplyDeleteThe Ballad of Twilight Sparkle is the Half-Life 3 of fan fics.
ReplyDeleteI've read Chapter 14, but Gravekeeper, (in a quite silly spate of perfectionism,) doesn't accept my opinion that it is awesome and worthy of upload.
ReplyDelete... Gravekeeper, Trevor swears, if you do not upload chapter 14 RIGHT THIS INSTANT, Trevor is going to GO MENTAL ON YOUR FLANK! IF there WAS any problems with the chapter, we point them out! It's not the end of the world if it's not perfect! You post it, and Trevor will MAKE it perfect! Coffee, yo9u give Trevor access to Gravekeeper's e-mail or something RIGHT THIS INSTANT! Trevor OBVIOUSLY needs to have a little 'chat' with Grave!
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
(p.s. Seriously, just post it! We promise not to be harsh or anything! WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW OR WE'LL DIE!!! Seriously. Trevor is not kidding. Trevor will die if Trevor does not get the next chapter. Do you really want to be the cause of death to Trevor?)
@Volk
ReplyDeleteTruer words have never been spoke. When I get on the internet, I check here for an update. Every. Time.
if i were to give you some money like now, will you just submit the next chapter? price negotiable.
ReplyDeleteAlways sad to see a good story die halfway through.
ReplyDeleteWell, as CoffeeGrunt (one of the beta readers) said, the chapter is pretty much done. I want to post it when I have time to hang in the GDocs chat, though :D
ReplyDeleteOh that's awesome... Can't wait >< such a great story and it's been sooo long since there was an update... going to have to read the first 13 chapters again ^^ Thanks for all the effort you have put in to make this fic great :D
ReplyDelete@Gravekeeper Excellent news!!!
ReplyDeleteFinally, one of the all time classics of EqD is back on business!
@GravekeeperOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG It's finally gonna update in the real sense of the word soon! See if I don't reread all 13 chapters in 2 days now!
ReplyDelete@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeleteI-Is it re-really you GK? ;^; I been waiting for... pardon an overused phrase but I feel it's rightly fits this situation... for 'what felt like eternity'.
Pretty please post it GK? it would mean the world to me reeally it would <3 your #1 fan and former anon poster would like to feel a little love since it's done.
I'm so thirsty from all the waiting... I need more friendship lubrication to quench this dry achy throat deprived of the nectar that was able to satiate the taste buds of my tongue and ride it's great flowing rich yet smooth as chocolate taste rush down my throat like a powerful river of happiness and joy that makes all other fandrinks taste so bland.
The quench this fandrink offers lasts far longer then those other cheaper drinks. Sure there are other tasty ones out there but I have grown so accustomed to this drink called TBoTS.
So please Grave, pass me my 14th bottle, it's been so long since I had a sip.. just one little sip pretty please?
*Raspy voice*
ReplyDeleteF-friendship... Lubricant... Soon... not... Going to make it... Little... Time remains... Please... *passes out in a coma*
(If Trevor doesn't get an IV of FL soon, Trevor will die. You don't want to be responsible for his death, do you?)
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
@Star Pony
ReplyDelete2 days? *challenge accepted*! I'll do this in 1... time to call out sick and get drunk on this all over again! Now where is my drinking buddy Octavia gone to.... she owes me a few drinks.
P.S. Be sure to add new art to this list! That Rafale in socks is too adorkable not to be posted!
One day?! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Trevor will read it in 8 hours!
ReplyDeleteOr instead, you guys could read the new chapter tonight... Or you know, whatever you guys wanna do is fine, too...
ReplyDelete... Trevor proposes a challenge then! Whoever reads the mew chapter, AND THEN read all 14that again and comments wins! It! Is! ON!
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Then I already won :D
ReplyDelete@Gravekeeper
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfJR6sAo0CU
When? WHEEEEEN?!
ReplyDelete...
ReplyDeleteOK, at this point you're just taunting us.
@LordOfTheWrongs
ReplyDeleteSoon, my little ponies... Soooooon! >:D
*disappears*
It is on! Imma read every remaining chapter in just - DID YOU JUST SAY TONIGHT?!?!? As in within the next few hours tonight?
ReplyDeleteScrew sleep, health and school. I'll have every chapter including the new one read by 5:30 AM.
Or you know, at least by the time I'm home from school. Wouldn't wanna ruin the story being too exhausted to understand it. But the 1 day challenge is ON!
ReplyDeleteWell, I finished rereading it about an hour ago, but the new chapter's not out yet... Hm.
ReplyDeleteAnd... I see the new chapter on FIM Fiction. *Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
ReplyDeleteWere you tracking it on FimFiction? It's already up there. Here, have a direct link to the GDocs while EqD updates:
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1eEhTdMkACZCY7aYt5cQgaQ7kO8XL0JEjP0VYoEku1UA/edit?hl=en_US
Isn't this update, like, a sign of the end times or something?
ReplyDeleteMeh, worth it.
*reads*
Nananananananana...
ReplyDeleteUPDATE!
FUCK YES ITS BACK! i told seth it would be back a while ago when i saw the other chapters being edited on google docs! YESSSSS
ReplyDeleteI think I'll have to read this soon...
ReplyDeleteomg yes. Update.
ReplyDeleteohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
ReplyDeleteThere are not words that can accurately express my excitement at this update.
Just read the update.
ReplyDelete...
Worth the wait. Just don't do it again.
Cider: Hey Seth! Hows it going?
ReplyDeleteSeth: Oh, uh. Ballad of Twilight Sparkle.
So, I saw that it got put up, I read it, and I prematurely casted all over my keyboard.
ReplyDeleteSomehow you managed to take the hype in my head, and live up to my grandiose expectations. Can't wait to how this three's company scenario works out.
Gee thanks. You ponies are all determined to make sure I don't get anything done tonight, aren't you?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, looking forwards to next chapter.