[Grimdark] [Sad]
Author: GFreeman
Description: A stormy day and fated conversation bring Twilight to question the status-quo, but the answers she finds may not be the ones she seeks.
The Shades of Time
Additional Tags: discovery, message, choice, night, day, twilight
24 comments:
Dibs on a 1st! Had to do it once.
ReplyDeleteGrimdark and Sad, two genres when done well make a great story or a disaster...
ReplyDeleteI could've beat you Jmaster...
ReplyDeletebut i showed up half a minute late then checked out the fic.
I must say, the description doesn't reveal much, not sure if will read.
ReplyDelete@wackyteen
ReplyDeleteHaha, well thanks for taking the time to actually read the article. Whelp, now that's out of my system, time to see how this fic goes.
Reads intro. Words of wisdom arent really my thing. Oh well I guess Ill finish...
ReplyDeleteI think this is great. Mental thrillers are always awesome imo.
ReplyDeleteGood story, but there were a lot of grammatical errors that detracted from the quality of the writing.
ReplyDeleteThese grammar mistakes appear so often, I'm beginning to think that they were deliberate.
ReplyDeleteWell...this one was okay.
ReplyDeleteThe story really needed some proofreading at parts, but otherwise it was all right.
3/5
Read through this and gotta say I have no idea what's going on half of the time. Don't really understand how the timeshifting worked. Or the ending for that matter. Way too much emphasis was put on confusing the reader in my opinion anyways.
ReplyDeleteHuuum, the story was very interesting... If a bit confusing. But I think that was intentional. Too many grammar mistakes for a full 5 stars, but a good story nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteI liked it,the end is so confusing that i want to believe that Twilight was just daydreaming/imagining things or that she managed to fix all and not ask the princess for the book lol
ReplyDeleteor anything that makes a happy end...
Sweet Celestia.
ReplyDeleteStuff like this is one of my weak spots. Good show.
Allot of weird grammar in this fic.
ReplyDelete"Whatever is the matter?"
"Uh, I can't. Sorry bye."
Weird stuff like this, it doesn't flow or sound right. And I really couldn't make heads or tails of the fic's content either. The author needs to have a beta go over this story.
It was a great story, I can see where the author was going. All the story needs a little bit of fine-tuning, and it can be truly wonderful.
ReplyDeleteAll in all, it was a fun read; the dangers of knowledge and runaway progress, it was all quite interesting.
Wow. I never thought the lyrics to an ELO song would pop up in one of these fics.
ReplyDeleteStill, good though.
What's this? A new Twi [grimdark][sad] story?
ReplyDeleteMUST READ.
Just... O_O,
ReplyDeleteSeriously, lots of fics parade about with a [sad] tag, but this one truly sets the bar. I read the last third of the story through a blur of tears.
Fantastic delivery, even if the crossover-ish parts were a little confusing at first. Very nice use of Poe-esque dread-building devices early on. Even though I was aware of their presence and purpose, they did not at all diminish the story's impact, or my enjoyment of it. I especially liked the inclusion of Celestia, and how the story made it clear that not even she was immune to the consequences of Twilight's actions.
Wonderful and dreadful. Top notch.
Very deep. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletei think i found the words.
ReplyDeleteit was a bit, uhm, high concept? it's, uhm, kinda obtuse in it's wording though and i think some of the parts detract from the overall feel of it. i understand the ... uhm, message? no, the concepts that you are putting across are difficult to express in language but the way you chose ... uhm, it seems like you're going for impressiveness rather than clarity. that's just my impression though.
there are some grammar and word usage errors that i noticed, mostly towards the end, nothing major. the fact Twilight is yelling in all caps for a good portion of the last 'real' conversation kinda is a bit ... excessive. '!' should be a good enough indicator of heightened emotion. capitalization is good in small doses but you kinda over did it i feel.
the concept itself: i don't really agree with it. i am, at heart, a materialist so ... i think you can see my issue. i try to be less of an absolutist but it's hard. arrogance on my part, probably. i think i was fair, though. if you think differently, please tell me. i'm sorry if i come across as a big dumb meanie, i don't mean to.
Oh sweet Celestia. I was already on enough of a sniffle-fest, then this pops up.
ReplyDeleteGood work. Reading through it, I did not see any of the grammar problems that are apparently there, but perhaps another once over would suffice?
In any case, this really did get into my head in a way, and the ending was perfect, at least after I got over my "BUT WHAT HAPPENS?" phase.
All in all, a good mind-prod of a story.
-Delta-
Twas a good, unique story, but alas, it lacks the... finish? Polish? Finesse? One of those three, of other ponyfics. Still enjoyable, though I advise getting someone to proofread it for grammatical errors ahead of time from now on. Honestly, the sight of some of those were just ghastly!
ReplyDelete/raritymode
Sorry about that, had to. Anyway, love what ya did with that!