• Story: Final Dream of a Filly


    [Sad] "... a touching story... in the vein of Forever is Forever..." - Pre-Reader #I Speak In Sentence Fragments

    Author: AmberWings
    Description: No one expects to go to sleep and never wake up. There's always tomorrow, or the next day. There was always time. So, when a young life is extinguished before its time, it becomes especially difficult to handle. When the spirit of that life is forced to face and accept her death, what will become of her afterlife? Scootaloo will soon be faced with this tragedy, and this is her story.
    Final Dreams of a Filly: Chapter 1
    Final Dreams of a Filly: Chapter 2
    Final Dreams of a Filly: Chapter 3
    Final Dreams of a Filly: Chapter 4

    Additional Tags: Death, Choice, Mourning, Living, Love

    188 comments:

    1. Noooo, I can't handle sad Scootaloo!

      ReplyDelete
    2. Sad Scootaloo that's not Scootabuse?

      ReplyDelete
    3. I...wha? Why would someone write this?

      Reads anyway.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Crap, I see myself being sad for the rest of the night if I read this.

      Well, better start!

      ReplyDelete
    5. My Dwarf hamster just died of a seizure a few days ago, I think I'll pass on this one for a while...

      ReplyDelete
    6. I find these just pure sad stories rather lazy writing (um i mean no offense but) in order to make a good sad story the author must make us care about the characters. when dealing with ponies it's already done for you so all the author needs to do is put a character in a sad situation.

      ReplyDelete
    7. *reads anyways just because it's Scootaloo*

      ReplyDelete
    8. Noooooo! Not Scootoloo. We just had a comic about Scootoloo getting older and looking back at the old times. Sadface.

      As much as it will pain me to read this, I must because I want to find out what happens. =(

      ReplyDelete
    9. wait scootaloo dead? Why celestia, why?!

      ReplyDelete
    10. I already read this, and I can say it was perhaps one of the saddest stories I have ever read. Maybe a little bitter sweet. But mostly sad...

      WHY SCOOTALOO!!! I really liked her...

      ReplyDelete
    11. When did all the comedy stories just plain stop updating? When did Grimdark and Sad suddenly become the staples of a fandom built on a show that...

      ...ugh

      ...You know what? I might as well not bother with the rest of my complaint. It's obvious this trend ain't ending anytime soon. I guess I'll just go reread "Sweet Apple Capers" and "A Drop of Moonshine" again...

      ReplyDelete
    12. Curse you, intriguing story description! You've trapped me in a gloomy literary wave that I can't break out of!

      ReplyDelete
    13. Read this yesterday...under the name "I couldn't wake you,because you can never wake up again."
      Weird how this name sounds even sadder...

      ReplyDelete
    14. Hmmmm... Nah. I don't think so. I'm not in the mood to be sad tonight. I feel like being happy. Or at least happy-sad, like with "My Little Dashie." Somehow I doubt dead Scootaloo is gonna give me that.

      If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch "Ghostbusters."


      ...

      ...say fandom... why hasn't there been a Ghostbusters crossover yet? Call it Ghostie Grabbers or something and give the Mane 6 Proton packs! It'll be a hit!

      ReplyDelete
    15. I'm going to regret reading this. I just know it....

      >.>

      <.<

      *starts reading*

      ReplyDelete
    16. Why is every other fan work about this show sad?!

      IT'S A HAPPY SHOW, I WATCH IT FOR HAPPINESS!

      ReplyDelete
    17. Oh God, I was right. Why, damn it, WHY? I hope they show Scoot's parents in this season just to stop the onslaught of sad Scootaloo stories where she doesn't have a home. It just hurts to read.

      And then chapter two. The entire scene was just... no words, no words. Sweetie Belle starts singing. Can you imagine walking in on one of your friends like that?

      Chapter three is also soul crushing...

      And chapter four is bittersweet.

      Excuse me while I go feel terrible.

      ReplyDelete
    18. @Rainbow Smash

      If you helps you any, I'm currently working on a comedy one-shot. It'll be short, but utterly not-sad.

      Course, I'm writing this while revamping my Grimdark story - so go figure.

      ReplyDelete
    19. "in the vein of Forever is Forever.."

      That was my first fic from this fandom, and it remains as one of my favorite. I was so happy when I saw the author had reuploaded it to FiMFiction.

      Now I have to read this. The kind of sad from that story is my favorite kind of sad, right next to bittersweet stuff.

      ReplyDelete
    20. @Jebediah Oldenheimer
      Though, when I do want intense emotion and morality checks, I read Fallout: Equestria.

      ReplyDelete
    21. we needa keep a happy sad balance

      ReplyDelete
    22. Trevor's gonna be brutally honest: he's not sure if he can read this! Dead/Sad Scoots?! Trevor... T-Trevor isn't sure he can handle that kind of story... Bravo, Author, for having the... Guts to do what one could never do...

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

      p.s. ... CRAP! And now that Trevor has commented, he HAS to read it! CURSE YOU COMMENTING CURSE!!!

      ReplyDelete
    23. So many cliches.
      So much "i saw that coming"

      Yet...

      ;_;

      ReplyDelete
    24. My Little Dashie, Simply Rarity and ugh... what else have I read lately? I know it's all been depressing as hell.

      Even Fallout:Equestria is just crushing sadness and horrors, then a little bit of happiness, and then that happiness is crushed under the hoof of more depression and terribleness.

      Through the Eyes of Another Pony is happeh, though. So... yeah, awesome!

      Damn you bronies, and your writing ability.

      ReplyDelete
    25. ...
      That's it. I'm going to write a comedy fic and get it on this site if it kills me. Buck well-written depression inducers.

      ReplyDelete
    26. @Twilight Sparkle

      I also read it yesterday and it was under that name. It was on fimfiction.com, right? I thought it was a very good sad story. It is in my top three, along with My Little Dashie and Memories(I think that is the name. It is the one where Spike is all grown up and the mane six have...passed on).

      ReplyDelete
    27. "Nyehehehehehe... You want to read something Sad and soulcrushing?"

      NO!! GET OUTTA HERE WITH THESE SADFICS! LAY OFF THE POOR CHICKENS, WILL YA?! JEEEEEEEEEZ!! YOU'RE A CREEP! GO AWAY! WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME BEFORE YOU SHOWED UP, SAD-GRIMFICS! UUUUGGHHHH!! GO HAVE SOME COFFEE WITH CREAM OR SOMETHING!! BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING: THIS IS A HAPPY PLACE!!

      ReplyDelete
    28. I read this yesterday on FiMFiction. I was fighting back tears, and I almost suceeded. Then Sweetie Belle started singing. I lost it. Just lost it.

      And for those wondering how this can be bittersweet, you have to wait until the end. The sweet does come in eventually. But it's straight up tearfest until then.

      ReplyDelete
    29. Well, I'm kind of torn on this one. It was certainly effective at pushing the emotional buttons, but that's not too hard when you write a story about dead kids.

      On the other hand, there was real conflict here. The search for meaning in death, and what comes next.

      I'm not sure how I feel about the ending. It was certainly good, but the outcome it presented... I guess everyone's heaven is unique.

      ReplyDelete
    30. I welled up.

      didn't cry though. never cry at fiction.


      also last line is a bit overwrought.

      but good man. real good.

      ReplyDelete
    31. Oh god

      SPOILER ALERT!
      So she's still dead, but she can have her heaven as if she hadn't died. I feel so sorry for the poor little filly. She'll never grow up, never learn to fly except maybe in her dream land. It's so sad.
      SPOILER ALERT OVER!

      This made me CRY. I haven't cried over fanfiction except for about in February when I read the chapter of Memories of Days Long Past where Apple Fritter is mauled by wolves. I was new to the fandom, and I was soft and fresh. It was also before tragedy entered my life. I just don't cry about these things, but chapter 2 made me really, actually CRY. I can't imagine what it would be like to walk in and see your friend dead in the corner. The shocking realization. Just, wow.

      ReplyDelete
    32. Oh God, this fic was heartbreaking. But the ending makes it all worth it, so...good job.

      ReplyDelete
    33. @Sumo Unicorn

      Yes, Mr. Freakazoid. o o;

      I'll just go visit Candle Ja

      ReplyDelete
    34. @Rainbow Smash


      3 cheers for a Drop of Moonshine!

      HIC HIC

      HOOOORAAAY!

      :)

      ReplyDelete
    35. I'm not even a fan of Scootaloo and this sounds soul crushingly sad...I know I'm going to cry...

      ReplyDelete
    36. @Pinkamina Diane Pie

      Even if it was only 2 or 3 tears, I still cried over this.

      ReplyDelete
    37. How is it we take something like Friendship is Magic and turn it into this?

      The most happy and pure show turned into these depressing stories.

      Do ponies just tug on delicate heartstrings?

      ReplyDelete
    38. Goddammit, I'm so sick and tired of all the dark and sad fics popping up, can't someone write something happy for a change?

      Life is depressing enough without dragging the ponies down too...

      ReplyDelete
    39. Why is there so much grimdark and sad?

      Ponies are innocent. Humans are not.

      We actually suffer from a large amount of tragedy. Compared to our world, Equestria is perfect.

      Think about it. If no one has suffered the cruel touch of tragedy in one place and somewhere where everyone has felt the finger of loss is experiencing that, many things that come from that disastrous appendage will be brought out of the haven of the mind and into the world.

      ReplyDelete
    40. It's a freakin show about talking colorful ponies.
      WHERES ALL THE RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE AND CRAP?
      I didn't expect tears T.T

      ReplyDelete
    41. @Sumo Unicorn

      You, sir or madam, win 1000 internets for that reference. Made my day after reading this fic.

      Speaking of which, as sad as this was, I did not break down. Am I jaded?

      Also, I, too, have noticed the disproportionate ratio between happy/normal/comedy stories and grimdark/sad stories. My thinking is that this is due to the fact that, for the most part, sad/grimdark stories are easier to write. Especially when compared to comedy that's done correctly.

      We could definitely use more happy stories, though. Preferably with Luna, XD.

      ReplyDelete
    42. In the words of Dr. Hooves: "Eh, No Thanks!"

      I've already felt enough sad for one night, and I don't want to read about any member of the CMC being killed off.

      ReplyDelete
    43. I was torn over this one too. For me the only way the "she's really dead" ending works is if 1) everypony in her reality lives forever and she doesn't know that's not normal, and 2) she doesn't remember choosing it.

      Either way, her heaven is still populated by imaginary constructs, and I find that even more depressing. I know it wasn't the intent, but the ending is left ambiguous enough that you could believe she was allowed to choose life again if you wanted to. That's the one that makes the most sense to me.

      ReplyDelete
    44. I must say, I was very close to tears during chapter three. And I rarely read anything after I finished Past Sins (which DID have me crying). As far as a story goes, I think the idea behind this was rushed...however, it was executed VERY well, and written perfectly.

      Well done.

      ReplyDelete
    45. I know the cure, guys.
      Ponychan and pictures of adorable ponies.
      ONWARDS!

      ReplyDelete
    46. That ending destroyed me. It was the most horrifying end I could have imagined. Her afterlife is basically a lotus eater machine, populated only by herself and the illusions of friends and family. She is utterly alone, even if she doesn't realize it. She will never see her parents again, and none of her friends will ever see her again, even when they themselves die. I guess the ending is supposed to be bittersweet, but I found it to be one of the most disturbing things I have ever read.

      Edit: Just before I posted this I noticed someone mentioned the same things I did. Nice to know I'm not alone in thinking this.

      ReplyDelete
    47. Oh for the love of... Who comes up with this stuff. If I wanted to be utterly depressed, I'd turn on the News. I read these fanfics to cheer myself up, not bring myself down. I know there are people who enjoy reading these types of stories for the right reasons, but when they're based off a show about crazy marshmallow ponies getting into wacky situations, you'd expect their to be a happy ending. You writers do know that you can still brings tears to people's eyes without the use of a tragedy, right?

      P.S. Sorry for the rant, I'm just sick and tired of the Sad tag.

      ReplyDelete
    48. Can I just call an "It's a Wonderful Life" on this one, and say that she's still alive? Cause Lost did the same thing, and that was kinda stupid, and less sad.

      ReplyDelete
    49. Amazing story. Just read all 4 parts. It got straight to the point, but didn't skip over anything important. I really liked it!

      ReplyDelete
    50. @Pascoite

      Get rid of the last paragraph and it's ambiguous enough to interpret it however you prefer (and god I'd want to interpret it that way), but I think that last bit with the "Angel of Death" pony makes it pretty clear that this is all just a mental construct of Scoots'.

      ReplyDelete
    51. @Icannotthinkofagoodname

      Horrifying is the word I wanted to use.

      Solipsism is not my idea of heaven :(

      ReplyDelete
    52. Dammit... Combining my weakness for children with death...

      SO MANY TEARS...

      ReplyDelete
    53. @TheBlackBaron I know, that makes it a little more difficult to justify, but it you'll allow that life was a possible choice then the gray mare had the power to grant it, and would have been capable of checking in on her. I'm willing to see it that way, 'cause dammit, it's happier!

      ReplyDelete
    54. That's the hardest I've ever cried over something not personal or physical.

      Being forced to watch your best friend find your body, and panic?

      Then seeing how much everyone cares about you at your own funeral; only to wake up to people pointing out your flaws, and being told it was a dream.

      ReplyDelete
    55. Damn, it made me all teary. You sad fan fic writers where are you doing this to meee.

      ReplyDelete
    56. Phoe! You promised us brushes and ice cream! Not heart wrenching posts! :(

      ReplyDelete
    57. That's why the ending is almost as bad, if not worse, than the beginning. She's basically trapped within her own mind, using mental illusions and memories to build her 'friends'. They're not real, none of it is. It's more like hell, if anything.

      ReplyDelete
    58. Well I was trying to sleep but now I can't seem to. So now I guess I'll just read this fic now instead of later. I just got finished watching "Ghost" too, so that makes this fic appearing at this time highly concidental. Oh well, here we go, will comment when finished. Yar.

      ReplyDelete
    59. **SPOILER ALERT***
      **SPOILER ALERT***
      **SPOILER ALERT***

      I wonder if in the end she really did recover at the last second or if the whole scenario of RD adopting her was merely a false reality that Scoots created as her own heaven.

      ReplyDelete
    60. Hmm... I liked it. My day's been pretty good, so I think the net shift from this sad fic will be small enough to leave me with a bueno day.

      ReplyDelete
    61. HI guys. Pre-reader in the quote here.

      I have to commend you Amber. I liked the story well enough before the minor mechanical fixes. And yeah, this is a sad one, it's heartbreakingly bitter sweet.

      I have a serious question: I have pre-reader 3 other Scootaloo is homeless and ends up with Rainbow Dash fics these last 2 days, was there a contest I did not know about?

      Also you inspired me to write more Scoot-a-daw/happy ponies. So thanks, I guess.

      Also, I hate you so much. 5 stars.

      ReplyDelete
    62. Uber-sad ;_;
      Here's a cure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsGBJ7YmNrg It's David Tennant!

      ReplyDelete
    63. THE ULTIMATE TEST!

      Read this story, and listen to this at the same time, trying to feel as little emotion as possible.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZz6Thqokyo&list=FLTNTyVjQRXqRIbh4AKwhNsA&index=55

      ReplyDelete
    64. Well...... This story made me cry almost as much as My Little Dashie. ;__;

      ReplyDelete
    65. *reads description*

      ...Yeah...I think I'm gonna give this one a pass...

      ReplyDelete
    66. @Kits


      Honestly, if there was a contest, I wasn't aware of it! I am glad you enjoyed the story though, and really appreciate all the help you and the other pre-readers offered.

      Hopefully, I'll have a new story coming your way soon that won't be so sad. I'm thinking of redeeming this with something called, "Apple Cider on a cold winter night."

      Not sure where I'm going with it yet, but when it goes somewhere, I'll send it in and let ya know. XD

      ReplyDelete
    67. I am shedding tears right now. A beautiful story!

      ReplyDelete
    68. Glad that Trevor gave this a chance. VERY worth the read. (Hates the losers who one stared it just because of what it was about...)

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

      ReplyDelete
    69. @Pinkamena Diane Pie Sam, your comment is forcing me to read this... And WTF another twilight sparkle? >_>

      ReplyDelete
    70. I'm glad I read the story too even though it was sad. When you think about it though, isn't the world of MLP a bit of a dream world where they will never have to age, grow old, and die?

      No matter what we think about in our heads, and how many fanfiction worlds or alternative universes we may visit, My Little Pony will never actually die.

      The worst that will happen is that you will forget about it. Time moves on as you slowly lose all of your memories of MLP and the fandom. Of course, I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

      ReplyDelete
    71. @AmberWings

      On a scale from The Joker to Uncle Ben, how ambiguous did you want to leave the (near) death of Scootaloo>

      ReplyDelete
    72. @moocow1452

      I'm gonna ahead and leave it at Old Yeller.

      ReplyDelete
    73. The ending... disturbed me.

      ReplyDelete
    74. This sounds overly depressing and will kill my happy mood.

      *Starts chapter 1*

      ReplyDelete
    75. Lord Vader? Can you hear me?

      Yes Master . . . Where is Scootaloo? She's my favorite Cutie Mark Crusader you know?!

      It seems that a fan had her die tragically young in a fan fic.

      He - he couldn't have. Scootaloo rocks! Why kill her?

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

      ReplyDelete
    76. Serious manly tears guys. I can personally relate to this story; it brings back some serious emotional turmoil for me.

      ReplyDelete
    77. Damn good story and damn good interpretation on the concept of an 'afterlife'.

      6 star material. Short, sweet and to the point.

      ReplyDelete
    78. @Nilsareth
      I'm not a writer but I am an graphic designer, so I have to defend a fellow artist.

      In the visual arts or music, you don't just start making well articulated and completely original works of art. You start by copying and then build off of other's work. I think Fan-fiction is a good way to follow this same practice with writing. Maybe the author isn't quite good enough to create believable and likable characters while telling the story she had in mind; that doesn't mean she can't tell a good story.

      Also, I really didn't care about Scootaloo as a character before I read this. It was the reactions of her friends that made me care for her. So I'd say that she made me care pretty well.

      Okay...rant over. Praise time. I just want to give someone a hug and tell them that I'm glad they are still alive. It may be a bittersweet story, but it's the sweet that's really sticking with me. I don't give 5 stars lightly, but this is one.

      ReplyDelete
    79. @Ergo Cogito Thank you, I appreciate hearing that more than you know. <3

      I'm not the best writer yet, and I know that I used pre-established characters to convey a story, but it was a story I really wanted to tell.

      ReplyDelete
    80. I was much happier with the ending being left vague... right until I read the author's Ch. 4 comment below the end. Then it all came crashing back down.

      Love the story though... short, very poignant, and reminds me of It's a Wonderful Life in a way.

      ReplyDelete
    81. I'm going to regret this.
      "This is the story of how the last dodo went extinct."
      ...
      Nope. My attempt to laugh has been slaughtered by the sorrow I now feel.
      Whahahahy?
      T_T

      ReplyDelete
    82. @AmberWings

      It's just so weird. This weekend...
      I mean I expected more SmartyPants fics and 'Want it, Need It' shipping.

      I got 4 scoot-a-orphan [email protected][email protected]

      Frecking herdmind I guess.

      You don't have anything to redeem. I hold this up as one of the very few [sad] fics that works. Most of them are silly and/or OOC. This one... It works.

      Also, look forward to you next one! /me adds to watch list.

      BTW, I'm kitsuneymg on DA if you need/want any pre-pre-reading >.>

      ReplyDelete
    83. @Ergo Cogito
      Just to be clear I wasn't insulting the author or this particular story (I haven't had a chance to read it yet so I can't judge) What I was criticizing was more the genre in general, I'm writing a fanfic myself and I realize that it can be quite difficult at times, it's just I've just been seeing a lot of sad stories popping up and in general just find most of them to be lacking that certain something.

      However from the comments I've read this one is apparently well written so I may eventually (if I can ever find the bucking time :( ) get around to reading this.

      ReplyDelete
    84. I dunno what the correct word is here, but I don't cry to fanfics very often. At all, actually. The only one that got me to breach the tear barrier was "To Be An Alicorn" and that one, well, that unleashed the floodgates. Avery Strange is an asshole.

      I digress. This was a very well written piece. There were some mechanical errors I noticed in the first chapter, but you very succinctly captured the emotion of the situation, and I greatly respect you for that. As far as sadfics go, I rate this around "A Summer's Twilight", although admittedly with more grammatical errors.

      I'll give you 4 stars mate. It'd be 4.5 stars if I was given the option, though. I definitely would like to read more from you, and email me if you would like an editor!

      ReplyDelete
    85. :'( I shed tears... Lots of tears *sob*

      ReplyDelete
    86. such a sad story i cryed for at least in hour

      ReplyDelete
    87. I cried. This will have me crying the rest of the evening :(

      A very beautiful and bittersweet story.

      ReplyDelete
    88. What happened to chocolate rain and creeper twilight? Why must the sob stories continue! Scoot dies. Dashie breaks a wing. Fluttershy's eyes are poked out (morbid, no offense...) I love these fanfics! YAY!

      ReplyDelete
    89. Oh my god..... This is the only fanfic to ever make me cry. First tears of sorrow, then of joy, but with the sorrow still lingering. AmberWings, thank you. That just relieved a ton of stress for me.

      I'm happy with the ending, but did she really come back to life or is this just in her heaven while reality still moves on without her?

      ReplyDelete
    90. @RichiePops

      Sorry man. She's dead and heaven where the only difference is Dash adopted her.

      Read Forever is Forever for a similar kick in the gut. It got taken down by request from EqD, but you can find it on FimFiction.

      ReplyDelete
    91. Damnit, I broke down and read this anyways. Rainbow Dash at the funeral is what almost did it for me, as well as Sweetie Belle's song. Gah, now I need to un-pause the Star Trek movie I was watching and try to cheer up a bit. Ya know, since I can't just go and hug Scootaloo and know she's ok...

      And in my mind, she's alive...living with Rainbow Dash, and is the happy little filly she's meant to be.

      ReplyDelete
    92. This story was so touching, it almost made me tear up, and no story, not even 'my little Dashie' has ever made me tear up. Story gets a 5 in my book.

      Well played, well played indeed. Looking forward to future stories.

      ReplyDelete
    93. You made this story out of Crack refined from human suffering and pony tears, didn't you?

      ReplyDelete
    94. Dammit, are you TRYING to make people eat the end of a gun?

      ReplyDelete
    95. You are horrible.

      That is all.

      My soul now has a gaping hole in it just from reading the description. I don't even wanna THINK about reading the story! I'm sure it's good, I just... can't... take it...

      Oh Great Celestia, I think my head is in danger of ending up in the same state as my aforementioned soul...

      ReplyDelete
    96. The story was sad enough to make me tear up once or twice... but when I got to the end all I could think is that if RD ever did adopt Scootaloo, wouldn't she have to put a really big ladder in front of her house?

      ReplyDelete
    97. @RHJunior Really? You choose to say that in response?

      Anyways, i make this comment directly to you, Amber. I loved this fic. While i did not cry (i have a tough time finding reasons to...), that does not mean i didn't feel the emotion carried with this piece of art you have brought to us.

      What you have created was truly inspiring, and i can see that alot of passion was placed in it's creation. You have shown us something that has, in all honesty, made me take a step back and reflect on it's deep and insightful meaning.

      While i may not be religious (i'm aetheist by choice), i do enjoy your thoughts on what the idea of "Heaven" would be, as you put it. It's simply whatever you wish it to be, and in your case (and in extension, Scootaloo's), it's to be able to experience everything that you wish you could, without the cripling idea of death lingering in the back of your mind. To live as if nothing had happened, experiencing life, taking in the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's a heartwarming thought, and I believe it can give us a good point as to our views on life and death in general.

      Live for yourself, live for others, the desire to simply live. That's what i see in your work, and it's truly amazing. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed, my dear. I look forward to seeing what else you have for us to experience. :)

      ReplyDelete
    98. Could have been worse:
      What if all of this was happening in her head while she was in a coma? The adoption, growing up, realizing her dreams... Then 10 years later she wakes up and none of it ever happened. She's alive but completely alone. Her entire life over the last decade never happened; and even though she experienced it, she was the only one, and now she'll never have a chance to experience it for real.
      Just sayin' her fate in this story is far from ideal, but it's not unnecessarily cruel.

      ReplyDelete
    99. @Kits

      "Somewhere Only We Know" is still the single saddest MLP:FiM fic ever written. I state this as fact because I cannot possibly comprehend anything making me feel as traumatically upset as that.story did. I cried from the emotion in the comments alone. That is not an exaggeration.

      ReplyDelete
    100. i'm slightly confused. i mean from what i gather is..she died and then she was revived? or that she died and her choice of heaven was to live her life as if she had never died...but then...she's not really alive....she's just "living" a fantasy...but...UGH! my head is spinning from trying to make sense of this! i want to think that she was saved in the nick of time but the ending leaves it so open that it's mind boggling! ugh!

      ReplyDelete
    101. There was nothing manly about the tears I shed when Rainbow showed up at Scoots' coffin. God damn. And there I go again. ;_;

      I need a Scoot plush to hug. And an Applebloom and a Sweetie Belle, because the whole scene of them finding her was a hell of a kick in the stomach :|

      Why am I still glad I read this?! *5 stars*

      ReplyDelete
    102. I have work in four hours. *Sigh* Do I really want to ruin my day by getting sad and then going to work?

      Yep!

      *Starts reading*

      ReplyDelete
    103. *looks at comments, then the story*

      Oh god. To read or not to read....

      *sigh* Read.

      ReplyDelete
    104. @Nilsareth
      Buck off. Read it before judging it like that.

      ReplyDelete
    105. It was well written, so much so that I was actually picturing it in minds eye in striking detail. It was ... indescribable.

      I have no words for how powerfully it affected me and I was not prepared for that.

      Well done.

      ReplyDelete
    106. TO EVERYPONY
      made sad by this. Just stare at this youtube caption/screencap of Lesson Zero

      http://img.ie/0a09a.png

      ReplyDelete
    107. On second thought, I do have something to say. For those who read this and find nothing but sadness keep this in mind:

      Without sadness, there can be no true joy.

      This story would seem to emphasize that to me, especially the ending.

      ReplyDelete
    108. Just finished reading it. Rainbow Dash at the funeral was what did me in. Damn you Amber =(.

      As for the ending:

      *SPOILER*

      I read the final chapter as if Scootaloo didn't die, and the whole thing with the "alicorn of death" was just a dream she had. It makes it happier anyway, although I know you were going for the "everyone has their own version of heaven" thing. I guess I just like the idea of Rainbow being able to adopt Scootaloo if Scoot's parents were dead or not in the picture.

      Great story though. Now I gotta find a happy one to level it out =).

      ReplyDelete
    109. We just got trolled.
      Never been happier to be trolled.

      ReplyDelete
    110. The summary kind of ruins the open ending of the story, because it tells us she's dead . . .

      ReplyDelete
    111. For the record - never, ever read this story in a public place while listening to music, when the slightest possibility that "Fields of Hope" (from Gundam Seed) might come up on the rotation. Oi.

      ReplyDelete
    112. This is definitely a heartbreaking story as everyone mentions. My main gripe with this, however, is Rainbow Dash. There should have been more.. history, more explanation, I feel, for how she reacts at the grave.

      As it is now, without some more previous context, she feels quite out of character. Her interaction with scootaloo at least in the series is so rare that these feelings seem rather odd...

      Just my 2 cents. I definitely enjoyed this (as much as one can enjoy a sad fic :P), but I believe that particular section needs a bit of revision.

      ReplyDelete
    113. Yes. He changed the name. It was called something rather off putting originally on FimFiction.

      ReplyDelete
    114. @RHJunior Aren't you the guy who wrote "Tales of the Questor"? Or at least you're using his name. That webcomic... You have NO room to talk about sad, mister. I still tear up at parts of that series. XD

      ReplyDelete
    115. @Sumo Unicorn

      ...For that reference, you win +1 Internets... well done.

      ReplyDelete
    116. @pmcollectorboy Yeah, the editors asked me to do a quick rework. I think it had a lot to do with DA cutting the title so short that it came out as "You can never wake up" instead of the original title "I could not wake you...because you can never wake up again."

      Honestly, I think it worked out better this way. Apparently this title upsets people more than the original, and it's just catchy enough to draw people in.

      ReplyDelete
    117. @Tchernobog Ok, fair point. My logic with it was Rainbow's Element of Loyalty kicking in.

      I mean, if you were an athlete and you let down your very first fan, wouldn't it hit you pretty hard? Yeah, I know Rainbow isn't famous yet - but she knows how much Scootaloo admires her. That alone would probably invoke some degree of guilt.

      I dunno, that was just my reasoning - but I still think you make a good point.

      ReplyDelete
    118. @AmberWings

      Actually, the title made me groan and shelve the fic for a day when it showed up in my queue. I almost passed on it altogether, but I had done all the other Scootaloo fics so far, so I plowed in. Glad I did.

      No offense intended, but we get a CRAP-TON of terrible fics. They stopped doing stats in the update, but I think we rejected ~50 fics this weekend. Title and description are the first impressions we get.

      So yeah, the title was just off-putting. That's why I suggested you change it. I DO like this title more.

      ReplyDelete
    119. @Kits Ok, now I'm *really* glad I changed it! XD

      I'm happy you even bothered looking at it if the title made you groan like that. I know you have a lot to go through, so I appreciate you taking the time to plow through the title to give it a read. ^_^

      Pre-readers = for the win.

      ReplyDelete
    120. @AmberWings

      For the record, "You Can Never Wake up Again" is a better title IMO. The full title was...
      Too Long? Too 'tell-y'? Hmm..
      The 1st person in the title ALSO lead me to think it was a 1st person fic. These usually are very bad.

      It would have got read eventually, we don't banish fics to the moon w/o at least reading them. It just took longer than it may otherwise have.

      But I know quite a few ponies who DO judge whether to read a fic based on the title -- rightly or wrongly.

      ReplyDelete
    121. @AmberWings

      Oh don't get me wrong, I can see *why* you did it, and I don't think that Rainbow Dash doing this is... incorrect, so to speak.

      It just seems exceedingly abrupt, the way the fic pictures it. With a little more backstory, maybe some flashbacks/more interaction shown, it wouldn't be so jarring. Right now, it's just a "Wait, what? Where'd that come from?" sensation. That's easily resolved, I'd say :)

      ReplyDelete
    122. Yeah...unlike a lot of the posters here, I don't have any issue with sad stories per se. However, this one had problems.

      First off, editing. Get some. There were frequently two or more ponies who's dialogue was crammed together into the same paragraph, making it difficult to follow. There were a few simple spelling errors, and some really egregious confusions about word meaning (like the way you use 'funeral' as a synonym for 'graveyard.' Reading about the rusty gates of the funeral opening made me giggle, which kind of spoiled any baww vibes the service was supposed to give me).

      Then there's the ending. Apparently, a bunch of people have already commented on it (I've only skimmed the comments), but I'll add my two cents.

      SPOILERS

      Wishing that you could pretend to live out your life as though you'd never died is weak. I mean that literally--it's the answer I would expect to hear from someone who was too weak-willed to deal with the knowledge of their own death on any level, so they chose to blithely ignore it instead. Never mind that everything they 'live' is a lie, that Rainbow Dash is only adopting her because that's what heaven/her subconscious/whatever decided should happen. Never mind that any friends she makes, any lovers she takes, any family she forms are just figments of her own imagination. What she doesn't know can't hurt her, right? And so what if none of it's real, as long as she thinks it is?

      Maybe this is your idea of happy. I've heard it said that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who would rather be right than be happy, and those who would rather be happy than be right. Maybe you fall into the latter category, and my own wants/needs just won't let me understand how you could ever willfully chose to turn your back on what you know to be true. But I still can't imagine Scoot as the type of charter who puts her own blissful ignorance above the truth, however hard it is.

      ReplyDelete
    123. @Kits
      You have made my day. I went to sleep last night thinking about this story, even though I hadn't read it and my heart felt like it was about to break in two!

      Thank you so much!

      ReplyDelete
    124. "I couldn't wake you, because you can never wake up again..."

      Well, no WONDER I couldn't find that story on here! He changed the freaking name!

      ReplyDelete
    125. Listening to Coldplay's "Paradise" while reading this makes it even sadder. :'( I need a tissue box...

      ReplyDelete
    126. @Chris While I do apologize for the editing errors, I respectfully disagree with your opinion.

      However, I also disagree with your assumption based on a piece of literature as an accurate portrayal of the writer. Isn't that a weak and easy way out?

      ReplyDelete
    127. @Ganymede To be fair, I did post a blog post explaining this as well as a comment on the fimfiction version. XD

      ReplyDelete
    128. Beautiful, just beautiful. Very sad yet very satisfying.

      ReplyDelete
    129. Ahh so very soul shattering :D

      ReplyDelete
    130. Really is a very very good story, very sad but you should read it anyway. It's super powerful and very touching.

      ReplyDelete
    131. @Agentas I said I wasn't judging this particular story just the genre in general. So good sir instead of telling me to buck off maybe you should not freak out whenever you see a small amount of criticism, especially when I was simply stating my opinion. I think you might need to brush up on your love and tolerance

      ReplyDelete
    132. @Chris
      I think you're missing something Chris: that the experience of her death could be the dream, and when she woke in the hospital she was truly awake.
      There are problems with that of course, mainly the grey pony reappearing in narration and the summary which tells us that Scootaloo is dead.

      Of course, if it is a version of heaven in which one imagines they are only living again, then as Conan infamously proclaimed: "If life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content." --Queen of the Black Coast, Robert E. Howard.
      Granted, Scootaloo will probably have less slaying involved with her life.

      ReplyDelete
    133. Can't sleep now, pillow's soaked. Thanks.

      ReplyDelete
    134. I liked this story. It has a good hook and is a great idea to work from...but that said, it was too short for its own good. The emotions, while as powerful as intended, seemed too quick. There wasn't much build up in the story.

      Aside from that, get someone to proofread your stories, there were way too many silly errors.

      Keep up the good work in the rest of your fics!

      ReplyDelete
    135. @Amberwings:
      If it is the same RHJ, he's already on record as disliking the base idea behind your story. Check his blog entries for July 14th and 22nd for more details.

      As to the storyline itself - not sure how I feel about it. In part, I happen to take a stance at least similar to RHJ - why bother introducing so much GrimDark, when the real world already has enough of it as is?


      Please note: The comments below are my own take - feel free to ignore them if you like, and if I in some way offend, I apologize...but I stand by what I am about to type, even so.

      I suspect that my real problem is with the nature of the ending. One earlier poster called the endgame a lotus eater machine - I'd have to say he's right about that. You mentioned on your deviantArt page that people somehow seemed to feel the results of Scootaloo's decision was a punishment. I haven't read all of those comments, so it's possible I've missed something, but what I'm seeing is this: It's not so much that it's a punishment, but that it's a hollow reward. Others have stated it here, but, well, everything Scootaloo's going to go through is worthless - she will never again have any kind of interaction with anyone else, no matter what it may seem like.

      And what happens when she reaches the end of her 'life' within this dream of death? You've indicated she'll live out her life...but if death exists in Equestria, it must, by definition, exist for all. Either Scoots is going to die, again, somehow - or else she'll have to watch as the Lotus Eater effect falls apart around her, revealing once and for all just how empty the dream world was.


      And, in a parting note, you've even denied us a true catharsis by cutting away from the 'real' Equestria. If Scootaloo is truly dead, then Sweetie Belle, Applejack, and everyone else who knew her will still have to deal with their loss. Rarely does a man truly mourn for the dead - we mourn not for the fallen, but for ourselves, who must struggle on without them. Seeing that, seeing them work through the pain (or failing to do so), might have helped to relieve some of our own as well. By removing that from the story, you've removed it from we who read as well.


      I hope I've made sense here...I don't always seem to when I'm trying to post something online.

      ReplyDelete
    136. Sad story but beautifully written just wish it had been left more open to interpretation in the ending, would have been great to believe that she had been given an actual 2nd chance then again that is a wonderful personal heaven.

      ReplyDelete
    137. First story to make me come close to a tear, very well done.

      ReplyDelete
    138. @AmberWings

      I didn't mean to say that you, as the author, must necessarily agree with Scootaloo's choices, or that you would make those choices in her stead. In fact, I was trying to give you a bit of an out, by suggesting that it was my own biases that prevented me from understanding what about the scenario described at the end was anything other than appalling. I can see, rereading my post, that I didn't express that terribly coherently. My bad.

      Also, I realized when I re-read my post that it was phrased in unnecessarily harsh tones. Although I feel that the content of my comments was justified, I could have been more tactful in expressing myself. I hope my wording didn't offend you, and I apologize if it did.

      ReplyDelete
    139. Oh god... Im crying so much, ITS NOT FAIR!

      ReplyDelete
    140. Very well written story, and so horribly sad. I'll say few words about ending. Scoot's vision of heaven is even sadder than her death itself. You would ask why? Well, she just made perfect copy of Ponyville and Equestria. This is her heaven. She would have Sweetie Bell, Applebloom, Rainbow and rest of ponies here. She would maybe be happy, Rainbow would hug her, CMC will play with her, she would find her cutie mark. But it's not as cool as it looks. It wont be Ponyville. Rainbow won't be real Rainbow, nor would be CMC. All of this would be JUST COPY of her life. This is creepy sad. This, that she decided to negate death and acted like nothing happened. I thaught Scoot was brave, but after all she was just a child. She had right to act a bit childish (it's just my opinion, maybe such decision wont be as bad as it seem to be in my eyes).
      Creating her friends copies wont relieve the pain of her real friends.
      At least she would rest peacefully, and this is most important.
      Sorry for this (maybe unnecessary) monologue, I had to say something
      At least i gave it 5/5. Great story!

      ReplyDelete
    141. If you're going to write a sadfic, make it sad eh! I dunno why people want some weight lifted from the ending. This kinda story's meant to make you think and feel not go awwwww it's all ok.
      This story's not my cup'a tea but dear god it well done. Man tears much?

      ReplyDelete
    142. @Steve the Tramp

      I dunno. You can choose to do that sure. I managed to make a sad fic with an upbeat ending that I _still_ get comments on DA about people crying while reading it.

      Personally, sometimes a happy(ish) ending is needed and sometimes it'll hurt.

      If you liked this one, give Forever is Forever a go. It used to be on EqD. I think it was publish around Sonic Rainboom, so it's an oldie.

      ReplyDelete
    143. Read this during a school break.. damn it fan fics making me tear up.

      ReplyDelete
    144. You. You're amazing. I sincerely cried at the line,

      "Sweetie didn't need to be told that now, not once or twice more. Turned back to look down at Scootaloo and lay down beside her, trying to warm her with the heat from her body. "H-hush now….q-q-quiet now…it's time…t-to lay your sleepy head…" she softly sang, before breaking into tears anew. "

      That was beautiful, thank you for making this. Tears are literally rolling down my cheeks, that has never been evoked in me by a fic, only watering eyes, never actual tears. But, this... this is just over powering my ability to handle emotions, and it feels so good and bad at the same time.

      Again, beautiful.

      ReplyDelete
    145. Chapter #3

      You did it again, tears flowing once more after reading Rainbow's confession. I feel so depressed now... but it's a good one.

      ReplyDelete
    146. Finished it, amazing. The single most emotionally powerful fic I've ever read. As someone commented on one of the DA pages of the story, this song goes absolutely perfectly with this fic; I just could not let others not hear that song while reading this, adds so much power to it.

      ReplyDelete
    147. I still think Ultamia's suggestion of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZz6Thqokyo fits better.

      ... and for some reason I can't leave this story alone; I keep going back and re-reading it.

      ReplyDelete
    148. @Ultamia
      You think that songs bad? I DARE you to play this on loop while you read it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZowmVEYAi8

      Such a dreary melody

      ReplyDelete
    149. This would have been just shy of not sending me to tears if not for one tiny fact:

      Just so happens that this is the ONE fanfic author who has the exact same belief in the afterlife as me.

      Excuse me, I need to empty the Bucket-o-Tears

      ReplyDelete
    150. I'm reading this again.

      On the same day I read it the first time.

      IT'S SO GOOD!

      ReplyDelete
    151. @clone

      Ok, after the tears shed about another tragically sad Scootamisery, your comment made me lol through my tears.

      Really though, Scootaloo must now be the most beaten-down, abused, mentally raped, and dead pony of all time! Though I think RD has her beat on times being brutally murdered in pictures... poor Dash.

      Can't Scoots ever have a normal life? Why so much pain on her part? Hmm... let me see, what other ponies have not had parents shown and thus are ripe for grimsad tales of loneliness, abandonment issues, and general doom? Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Sweetie Belle (plenty of possibility there with Rarity having to drag herself up and keep her sister alive... but the ending would be happy and triumphant since we know it's all worked out) Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, Lyra. But they're all adults, with time on their side and talents already found. No, only Scootaloo, too young to fend for herself and with no trace of family of any kind in the canon, has the potential for such crushingly sad background and tragic endings.

      And thus why so much Scootasad/Scootadead.

      ReplyDelete
    152. Thanks for that wonderful story!

      ReplyDelete
    153. @Alondro
      I fully agree, but as I told another, use the archiver to look for the Scootaloo fics on this site. Less than a 3rd are sad/grimdark.

      ReplyDelete
    154. Very well done. I feel sorry for the others who decided to pass on reading this.

      ReplyDelete
    155. I didn't read the description before I read the actual story (since they sometimes spoil things) so when *spoiler warning?* I realized she was dead in the first chapter I wept like a baby.

      ...a manly baby, of course! Thank you for the story. :')

      ReplyDelete
    156. Do not pass on this one. This is a rare example of completely unfair circumstances. With a happy ending. Take that 6th star.

      ReplyDelete
    157. Scootasad =(

      great story (except for the part bout killing scoot, not great) though 2 thumbs up =)

      ReplyDelete
    158. @AlanJCastonguay

      Ironically the freakout over this story is not about Scootaloo being dead but rather whether the ending should actually be considered a happy one.

      ReplyDelete
    159. Hence the use of the term bittersweet

      ReplyDelete
    160. Welp, this was my first Scootasad fic. Don't have to read any more, because I'm pretty sure I just read the best one.

      All of my stars.

      ReplyDelete
    161. Also gonna add that my headcanon of this is going to be "she lived" as opposed to "her choice was to live life out the way she would have." I just couldn't live with myself otherwise.

      ReplyDelete
    162. This fic will never be forgotten as long as I live!

      ReplyDelete
    163. Manly tears, and it takes alot for me to cry, this is one i will keep in my list so when i need a good cry, as much pain as this story brings i still thank you for bringing it to be

      ReplyDelete
    164. God dammit... Just... God dammit.

      I can't stop crying...

      ReplyDelete
    165. Im surprised that there aren't tears streaming down my face right now. I was on the verge of it at least a half dozen times throughout the story...

      Touching story, one for me to remember.

      ReplyDelete
    166. I have never wanted to cry so bad in my entire life.

      Thanks for this wonderful story!

      ReplyDelete
    167. This made me cry SO HARD :( Confound you ponies!

      ReplyDelete
    168. Right when sweetie belle started singing, i couldnt hold back the manly tears

      ReplyDelete
    169. One of the three greatest fan fictions i've ever read. Amberwings you have a great talent for writing. You have inspired me, so for your effort have some fan art
      http://the-laughing-horror.deviantart.com/art/The-Final-dream-of-a-filly-280098201

      ReplyDelete
    170. Omg this was the most heart breaking story I have ever read. I lost it when Rainbow Dash was talking to her.

      ReplyDelete
    171. i never shed tears, let alone cry. i was on the verge of bawling my eyes out. had my roommates not been sleeping in the room or if i had been at home, i would have cried till the cows came home. i mean fuck man, the tears ;_;.

      ReplyDelete
    172. So Chapter 4 was just Scootaloo's personal heaven?
      And only the ponies in her personal heaven will experience her being alive and not her real friends? Holy shit. That is sad, dude.

      ReplyDelete
    173. why did I have to go and start reading every sad FiMfic I could find? jaxblade07's video reaction to My Little Dashie, that's why.

      ReplyDelete