• Story: A Bedtime Secret (Update Story 2 Complete!)

    by
    [Shipping] Rarijack!


    Author: MalevolentSpoon
    Description: Applebloom wants to hear a bedtime story. But what will Applejack do when the story Applebloom wants is a personal secret between her and a long-time friend, one she hasn't told to anypony?
    A Bedtime Secret
    A Bedtime Secret Epilogue: The Morning After

    Additional Tags: Bedtime Story, Accident, Secret Note

    Story 2 after the break!
    [Shipping][Sad]

    Author: MalevolentSpoon
    Description: Surprisingly, Applejack and Rarity have stayed together for six long months. Even more surprisingly, their relationship is as happy as ever. But a reoccuring nightmare reminds Applejack of one cruel fact: Rarity will eventually have to make the choice... Canterlot, or Applejack.

    But the truth is, Rarity made her choice long ago. After all, she'd give anything for anypony, but she would give everything for Applejack.
    A New Ambition (New!)

    Additional Tags: Rarity, Applejack, Shipping, Nightmare, Choice
    Monday, September 19, 2011 op
    Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,
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    71 comments:

    1. Colt ClassicJuly 27, 2011 at 4:01 PM

      Rarijack? I don't think iv'e seen that one.

      ReplyDelete
    2. ShadowFox04July 27, 2011 at 4:03 PM

      Rarijack is on the up-rise, been seeing more and more of it as of late.

      ReplyDelete
    3. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 4:03 PM

      inb4 first. Like a jackbutt. :P

      ReplyDelete
    4. Narwhals' BendJuly 27, 2011 at 4:12 PM

      "Bedtime Secret" sounds more like the name of a clopfic.

      ReplyDelete
    5. CraftJuly 27, 2011 at 4:22 PM

      This reads like a sequel to "Ah Ain't Got no Ack-Cent"

      In other words, really good.

      ReplyDelete
    6. Avery StrangeJuly 27, 2011 at 4:29 PM

      The conflict comes up rather quickly and then is dissipated just as fast, and it all cleans up extremely tidily. Also some parts felt glazed over, like why Rarity brought this up now of all times. Still, it was cute, had no real flaws, and I liked the premise of AJ confiding in her little sister. Jackity is also one of my favorite ships, so I'm glad to see this done well. Four stars.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Narwhals' BendJuly 27, 2011 at 4:29 PM

      There are some spelling and other errors, but overall it wasn't that bad. I'll give it a 3/5 (mostly for the errors).

      ReplyDelete
    8. ShadowFox04July 27, 2011 at 4:31 PM

      The Maiden and the Mage, a small reference to Kindness's Reward?

      Now that I've finished it, I like it. It's another slow build up and some angry Applejack.

      ReplyDelete
    9. SolarnJuly 27, 2011 at 4:34 PM

      Rarijack sounds kind of weird. I'm partial to Applity myself, because that sounds even sillier.

      ReplyDelete
    10. Avery StrangeJuly 27, 2011 at 4:46 PM

      @ShadowFox04 Wow, *I* didn't catch that. Now I wish I had given it 5 stars, heh heh.

      ReplyDelete
    11. Detox YoungerJuly 27, 2011 at 4:52 PM

      I noticed this is tagged incomplete, will there be more?

      ReplyDelete
    12. LloxJuly 27, 2011 at 4:53 PM

      One of my favorite pairings right here. :3

      ReplyDelete
    13. Doctor ScrapsJuly 27, 2011 at 4:54 PM

      I loved this story. I was so tempted while reading it to read aloud in AJ's drawl (which makes a colt like myself look right foolish).

      I want to know how often the author had to correct their spelling of the narrative to keep it consistent.

      ReplyDelete
    14. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 5:00 PM

      Is it Canon that Rarity knew Applejack before the events of Episode 1? I thought that was the episode where they all became friends.

      ReplyDelete
    15. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 5:04 PM

      A cute story.

      It's weird, Rarity/Applejack is one of my favorite pairings but in my mind I know that they are probably the least compatible of the mane 6. Only Pinkie/Twilight comes close on the would not work out scale and yet, I love the pairing and I'm not sure why.

      ReplyDelete
    16. pixelkittiesJuly 27, 2011 at 5:17 PM

      ZOMG! I just want to cry! That was so sweet and so lovely! Five stars, for certain!

      Confound these ponies! All of a sudden, Rarityjack is the best pairing evers!

      PS- Sequel please!!!

      ReplyDelete
    17. Freeze FrameJuly 27, 2011 at 5:28 PM

      @Anonymous It's not canon that they didn't know each other prior. That's one of those things that's left in the air about some of the ponies relationships prior to the events of Mare in the Moon. Since the canon isn't explicit about whether they knew each other prior, it's just fine to guess.

      ReplyDelete
    18. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 5:34 PM

      Nice and cute enough. You messed up with some tenses and general sentence structure, but I liked how you kept the accent for the whole fic.
      A good read for late evening.

      ReplyDelete
    19. AnonponyJuly 27, 2011 at 5:48 PM

      *hops onto EqD to read some stories, notices shipping* hmmm, let's see, ill bet my life it's like Dashiepie or...
      *sees rarijack, rubs eyes and looks again*
      My god. Is this a first? i think it is.

      ReplyDelete
    20. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 5:52 PM

      @Anonpony

      Nah. Not a first. Applty is actually one of my favourite ships, beaten by only DashiePie, TwinkiePie, Twiluna, and Twixie.

      ReplyDelete
    21. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 5:54 PM

      There's one or two grammar mistakes.

      Like "threw" is used where "through" should be.

      Other than that it's a great read!

      ReplyDelete
    22. flyingcherriesJuly 27, 2011 at 6:00 PM

      Y'know, RariJack is slowly but surely becoming one of my favorite pony pairings. :3 This story was adorable. Loved it!

      ReplyDelete
    23. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 6:56 PM

      Yay, a Rarijack story! Pinkiedash and Twixie is all well and good, but this is (and always will be) my OTP.

      ReplyDelete
    24. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 7:03 PM

      This was a good read, and yes, I have seen a few other Rarijack fics before. The other big one was "Raritys Rodeo" and it was also pretty good.

      ReplyDelete
    25. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 7:06 PM

      Rarijack is OTP. *Sage Nod*

      ReplyDelete
    26. ArdashirJuly 27, 2011 at 7:10 PM

      Nice work, but I wonder why Rarity is so rarely shipped as she is here?

      ReplyDelete
    27. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 7:14 PM

      This is my OTP D:

      ReplyDelete
    28. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 7:20 PM

      @Anonymous

      *Anonhoof*

      ReplyDelete
    29. TenchiFreak5July 27, 2011 at 8:03 PM

      Were we supposed to be getting vibes that Rarity was... well, that Rarity had died before this story took place?


      Because the entire story had a sort of somber tone to me throughout, and there were a few specific lines that stuck out to me in particular.

      ReplyDelete
    30. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 9:17 PM

      "as the storm clouds slowly blow", "as the moon slowly rises", "as she tucked", "as she smiled".

      These are taken from the first, second, third, and fourth sentences of the story. That many conjunctions, along with the inconsistencies in past/present tense, fills me with a certain kind of dread. It sets up my expectations for experiencing a painful and tedious butchering of the English language. I very nearly closed the document right then and there.

      But I didn't.

      Grammar and verbosity issues were present across the entire story, but... at least things improved a bit after the first two paragraphs.

      Please. Proofread. If you struggle at it, get an editor.

      But all things considered, this was still a really cute and touching story. The structure and pacing was especially well done, and everything felt complete. Shipping aside, it mostly read like an episode of the show.

      You know how to tell a story. (Which is a big feat in itself, and something I suck at.) But I think you could use a bit more work and practice in writing one.

      ReplyDelete
    31. CasperJuly 27, 2011 at 9:53 PM

      Surprise ending was surprising :D

      ReplyDelete
    32. AnonymousJuly 27, 2011 at 10:30 PM

      version of Big Mac
      my opinion
      Eeyup.

      ReplyDelete
    33. BlankFlankBronyJuly 27, 2011 at 10:50 PM

      D'awww!

      ReplyDelete
    34. Delta PangaeaJuly 28, 2011 at 2:29 AM

      This is hardly the first Rarijack, even on EqD.

      Swayback Mountain for instance.

      Plus, I think that 'Rarity and Applejack lost somewhere' story that I can't remember the name of is Shipping.

      Ya just gotta keep an eye out for it. They're discreet.

      ReplyDelete
    35. TumbleweedJuly 28, 2011 at 3:38 AM

      Rarijack is easily my favorite ship. And here I never thought I'd type words about said shipping, and/or use a silly internet portmanteau. Madness!

      In any case, I found the story enjoyable enough (especially since I read it at work. I'm bad). However, as the anon said before, there's a couple of pretty glaring errors that could be fixed with a thorough proofreading or two.

      Not quite sure about what to put in about the retcon romance, but eh, it's a different take for the story, so I s'pose it works.

      Furthermore- and this is more a commentary on shipfic in general...is it just me, or does the majority of shipping stories have a lot of the same elements? Big weepy angsty confessions of lurve, accidental kisses, that sort of thing. Seems like everyone's hitting the same melodramatic notes. It's a silly thing to note- and really, if people enjoy writing it, more power to them! Or maybe I just need to read more shipping fic so I can find some more variety.

      ...lord, there's another sentence I never thought I'd type either. :)

      ReplyDelete
    36. AnonymousJuly 28, 2011 at 6:03 AM

      I liked it... I just have a serious problem with how Big Mac was able to hold a cold glass of milk... curses, I over-analyze that type of stuff.

      ReplyDelete
    37. RockopolyJuly 28, 2011 at 9:24 AM

      I thought it was a great shipfic with an interesting beginning, nice plot twist, and BIG MAC!

      ReplyDelete
    38. AnonymousJuly 28, 2011 at 2:08 PM

      This is the author, I'm just anon because my computer doesn't like to agree with me :(

      @ShadowFox04
      Good eye! That was a reference, only because THAT was the most beautiful story I have ever read. EVER! And I felt it was appropriate.

      @Avery Strange
      You... liked it? Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!

      @Themasterofb
      I will be adding in an epilogue later, describing important events on the day AFTER AJ tells the story (Real-time)
      Thanks everypony for all the kind words. This was my FIRST shipping fanfic and my SECOND fanfic EVER, so I'm still learning. Good to know I'm doing SOMETHING right... lol

      ReplyDelete
    39. PhroexxJuly 28, 2011 at 2:32 PM

      Beautiful! Bravo! Full marks for a wonderfully done tail. Also, I'd really like to hear AJ's version of "The Maiden and the Mage."

      ReplyDelete
    40. Delta PangaeaJuly 29, 2011 at 1:53 AM

      Right, I've worked my way to this on my reading list, and I just gotta say... I loved it!

      Although one thing... AJ's new hat didn't fit right. Then Applebloom said it did now.

      So... what happened? Did I miss something or what? I have a habit for not noticing things, so...

      ReplyDelete
    41. AnonymousJuly 29, 2011 at 10:57 AM

      *SPOILER*
      AJ's hat didn't fit right at first because of the hidden note inside of it. AJ didn't know about the note yet, so she just thought Rarity got her hat size wrong. After the note was taken out, it fit just fine.
      I think what you didn't notice was what AJ said right after:
      “Don’t fret, I’m gettin’ ta that part... now hush!”
      AJ confronted Rarity about it later on, in turn discovering the note Rarity had left in the hat for her. The point with that was you were supposed to wonder about it yourself until you read that part.

      Also, @TenchiFreak5, no she isn't dead. Not in this fic, anyway ;)

      ReplyDelete
    42. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 3:46 PM

      Absolutely brilliant. Moar plz? *Applebloom puppy eyes*

      ReplyDelete
    43. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 4:02 PM

      I really liked the story, but I have to admit that I didn't feel that the epilogue added anything to the fic: if anything, the throwing in of two new pairings undermined the rest.

      Don't get me wrong, the writing was good and the characterisations solid, but the epilogue took the focus away from one carefully constructed pairing to others that had no more construction than "oh, and x likes y too". If either of the pairings had been the focus of another fic in the same continuity, it would have been different, but this felt unnecessary.

      I still rate the story 5 stars, easily, I'm just going to go on thinking that this story only has one chapter. Please, keep up the good work, because the Rarity/AJ relationship really felt solid, believable and sweet.

      ReplyDelete
    44. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 4:06 PM

      Applebloom and spike? has this been done before?

      ReplyDelete
    45. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 4:15 PM

      @Anonymous

      It's been done on several times I think.

      ReplyDelete
    46. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 5:08 PM

      Yay surprise Twixie ship!

      ReplyDelete
    47. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 5:59 PM

      I laughed... I laughed... I laughed, and then I cr---- laughed. I also cr---inged AND laughed. I really do love this story, not only for the greatness, but for the moral... or something... but mostly for the greatness.

      ReplyDelete
    48. TaliesinAugust 3, 2011 at 7:48 PM

      This was a really good reading. Actually Ah really enjoyed the TwixTrixie cameo at the end, they do fit well together... :3

      ReplyDelete
    49. Conner CogworkAugust 3, 2011 at 9:23 PM

      Just now got to reading this. The scene where Applejack busts out the Manehattenite had me tickled, was NOT expecting that. X3

      T'was a good read indeed!

      ReplyDelete
    50. AnonymousAugust 3, 2011 at 9:28 PM

      @Anonymous
      I totally understand, and I knew that some people would feel that way, but I thought throwing in the ABxSpike would up the cuteness factor a bit. I originally intended to write in some more RariJack stuff at the end, but I couldn't figure out any way to fit it in there that wouldn't make it seem... cluttered, I guess is the word. Anyhoodles, you'll have to wait for more RariJack. I've got other fics I'm writing right now, so it'll be a while.

      ReplyDelete
    51. AnonymousAugust 6, 2011 at 9:27 PM

      Applebloom+Spike?!!
      -_-
      That's like FLUTTERSHY+GILDA!!!
      OR BIG MAC+APPLEJACK'S DOG!!!
      SPIKE AND APPLEBLOOM CAN NEVER AND WILL NEVER DATE!!!!!!!!!>_<

      ReplyDelete
    52. pmcollectorboySeptember 19, 2011 at 6:32 AM

      Pfft. Rarity belongs with Rainbow Dash.

      ReplyDelete
    53. pmcollectorboySeptember 19, 2011 at 6:33 AM

      WinonaMac? Brain Bleach!!!

      ReplyDelete
    54. Pinkie PieSeptember 19, 2011 at 6:36 AM

      @pmcollectorboy
      Rarity belongs to ME!
      Get it right!

      ReplyDelete
    55. YetAnotherBronySeptember 19, 2011 at 6:43 AM

      And why can't Spike and Applebloom ever date? If it's because they're different species, that doesn't stop Spike/Rarity fans. I think Spike/Applebloom make a v4ry cute couple.

      ReplyDelete
    56. Magical TrevorSeptember 19, 2011 at 6:44 AM

      ~Yay!~

      I would LOVE to see a MacinShy from you after what one just read! 8D

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

      ReplyDelete
    57. AffeTrollkarlSeptember 19, 2011 at 8:29 AM

      I really loved this story. Definitely the most beautiful rarijack I have ever read^^
      I would also like to mention that this was the first fanfic I ever read, and therefore also the thing that truly let me into the herd.

      So... thank you. I would love to read more of this, so don't stop^^

      ReplyDelete
    58. PhallenFoenixSeptember 19, 2011 at 10:09 AM

      DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

      I feel like i need to brush my teeth

      ReplyDelete
    59. AnonymousSeptember 19, 2011 at 12:26 PM

      OK. So I've just read ,,Bedtime Secret" and its ,,Epilogue".
      ...and this is the very first MLP fanfic I've read. I don't know why I got into precisely this one - maybe it was something with the description... oh, well, whatever it was - it was a great read.
      And I didn't even skip through it.
      Although the shipping super-combo at the end made me chuckle quite a bit ;P.

      OK, now back to studying, dammit - got an exam tomorrow (that is, in like 14,5 hours to be precise)...

      ReplyDelete
    60. TrunklordSeptember 19, 2011 at 12:59 PM

      Trixie with Sandvich is awesome!

      ReplyDelete
    61. AnonymousSeptember 19, 2011 at 3:02 PM

      @pmcollectorboy
      I totally agree with you.(hint hint)

      @Pinkamena Diane Pie
      Eh. I'm sure I could whip something up.

      @The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor
      Macinshy huh? I'll think about it. EVENTUALLY!

      ReplyDelete
    62. WhiteDiamondsSeptember 19, 2011 at 3:03 PM

      Good Goddess, too much cuteness. WHY in the world is this pairing so incredibly appealing??! I never in a million years would have imagined I'd someday ship ponies but Applejack and Rarity's tempestuous, odd-couple dynamic is just too adorable for words.

      I do believe this ship now stands along with Young and the Restless at the top of my Sinful Guilty Pleasures list, ugh...

      ReplyDelete
    63. whitzSeptember 19, 2011 at 9:06 PM

      wow. that was perfect. i didnt think anypony could pull it off. :o

      ReplyDelete
    64. Magical TrevorSeptember 20, 2011 at 7:29 AM

      @malevolentspoon

      ~CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SHIPPING FANFIC WRITERS! YAY!!!~

      But, um, whatever you want to do is fine...

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

      ReplyDelete
    65. Wilson BennettSeptember 21, 2011 at 7:58 PM

      I love A New Ambition, it's a perfect way to end this story, a bit cheesy in some ways but in a good way.

      I love this couple and this story, congrats

      ReplyDelete
    66. CátsySeptember 22, 2011 at 7:57 AM

      read the sequel and I have to say it was nice to see such a great pairing as these two polar opposites finally tying the knot feels good. the way you write them together, and how Applejack never EVER let's Rarity get a word in till it's too late.

      I don't know i just love the chemistry and the back story you've given to the characters in this normal story between two would be lovers and their blooming relationship.

      I look forward to the next chapters. Assuming will be more then 1 more would we get to see a side episode on Applebloom's and Spike's first date went would be a nice extra too when the main pair is done?

      ReplyDelete
    67. Rose LilyOctober 23, 2011 at 2:40 PM

      I like squealed and freaked out like a little filly when Rarity proposed to AJ. I can't wait for a new one. Rarity and AJ and Rarity and Twilight are my FAVORITE couples! This was exceptionally written, minus a few grammatical details. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAAAAAASE write more! Please?

      ReplyDelete
    68. Zyrin KainNovember 24, 2011 at 11:38 PM

      Aww that was really cute

      ReplyDelete
    69. KurbzDecember 21, 2011 at 4:14 PM

      >Well everypony, that’s it for this one
      No. No it isn't. I demand an explanation for that Twixie!

      ReplyDelete
    70. CátsyApril 5, 2012 at 5:58 PM

      HAZZAH! I finally found it *^-^* now I can finish that last story!

      ReplyDelete
    71. RAKDOZApril 11, 2012 at 1:01 AM

      so... much... sweetness!!!
      must... get... insulin...
      /)^3^(\

      ReplyDelete

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