[Normal] "This one is so sweet it might give you cavities"-Pre-Reader #10
Author: Somber
Description: Fluttershy revisits the site of her worst night ever and comesSecond Impressions
face to face with emotions she never imaged she possessed…
Additional Tags: Drama, psychological, happy ending? Really.
26 comments:
I really do love heartwarming fics like this X3
ReplyDeleteI liked Fluttershy less after what she did at the GGG, but this made up for it mostly B)
ReplyDelete11 thumbs up. Just need to find 9 more, brb
ReplyDeleteawww
ReplyDeleteThats a really well done picture... is that OC? Looks show quality :O
ReplyDeleteYou know you read too much grimdark when you want normal fics to be grimdark.
ReplyDeleteAnd OC means Original Character. That's Fluttershy in Gala Dress. So no. I assume you mean the picture, by the by.
D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW that was awesome and very heart warming :) 5 stars!
ReplyDeleteWow. Thank you so much! A friend of mine was ripping on Fluttershy being "psychoshy" and it bugged me. I know that episode was for the comedy, but I had to think what would she really be feeling. Hope I didn't take too much license with her. Next one will be for Rainbow Dash, I think.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteIt can also mean Original Content too, and I also remember seeing that same picture in the last Drawfriend Stuff post. So yes, in this case it actually OC (Original Content, not Original Character). Sorry if I'm coming off as a bit pretentious, I just wanted to dis spell a bit of the confusion :)
I'm glad for this story since we never got proper closure for that whole Gala incident :D I consider this fic canon now unless they fix this i the show itself.
ReplyDelete(I always thought she should've spoken to the old gardener when I watched that episode. I was annoyed when she didn't)
I like the little scene with Spike, the Owl, Angel and Big Mac as if it were a frat-house. We need an all-guys fic, or better yet, an episode!
ReplyDelete@Darth Equus
ReplyDeleteIf there is an all-guys episode, I sincerely hope it isn't the big mass of insulting and untrue stereotypes you seem to want.
Now Why did I read Gramps' lines in Morgan Freeman's voice?
ReplyDelete@Shawa666
ReplyDeleteBecause you know that he'll eventually be voiced by him? At least he will in my dreams
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete1) OC is original content, not character. Often interchangeable, but not here
2) You silly sleepy head, that's not the gala dress!
Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm preparing to RP Fluttershy at a Livejournal game, and there have been GGG-related issues that I couldn't figure out. But this story has started things processing that should help.
I love that it was originally the gardener's idea, too.
Gah! This so needs to be an episode!
ReplyDeleteGreat read.
Adorable and Machiavellian.
ReplyDeleteI'm not even going to try to portmanteau that though.
cutest thing i've ever read. The "We are the dragons" part was hilarious, though
ReplyDeleteI've got some real qualms about this one, numerous spelling errors aside. Twilight and Celestia being all, "Go play in the garden and let the big ponies talk." It's like they don't even remember what happened with Fluttershy the last time she was there. And as for Fluttershy being there... it's mostly just a repeat of what happened in Best Night Ever.
ReplyDeleteUpsides: I actually really like the conversation she has with Gramps there. You made him a great character. The scene when they return is hilarious. It's a good ending, but overall, I feel it needs some more polish.
@MintyRest: Machiadorable.
Fair enough qualms, especially the spelling. Celestia knew Gramps wanted to meet with Fluttershy but if the Princess had forced the meeting then Fluttershy would have repressed the very feelings that needed to be addressed. For the most part, Fluttershy's friends were oblivious to the level of anguish she was feeling. After all, Fluttershy doesn't assert herself much for her positive attributes so she'd never volunteer negative feelings around her friends. If they were aware, this would have had to turn into a full blown intervention, which in turn would have lead to only more repression. So I had to write this from the approach that by and large her friends don't know what Fluttershy went through that night. The other ponies are strong enough to share and take humor in their various humiliations and irritations. Fluttershy isn't.
ReplyDeleteAs for this being a repeat of the best night ever, I initially had her leave Gramps and come across Precious, but that transition was too abrupt. I needed something between her and that moment. She'd all ready tried talking with the animals, but they flee. I thought of Twilight Sparkle checking in on her and her denying being upset, but that lead to either TS being oblivious or TS solving Fluttershy's problem for her. So I instead paralleled the episode with her trying to force an encounter. I'd love to hear any ideas you'd have for what to do in that section.
I also in the initial draft had her smother Precious, but that went WAYYY outside what I wanted.
Thank you very much for your qualms. They're indicators of where I need to improve on my stories. Particularly spelling, but that's always going to be a challenge with my brain.
This definitely gave proper closure to the gala incident. Also, guy party for the win!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was well paced. Maybe her attempting to trap the animals again did seem like something of a repeat but how else were you going to set up that situation?
ReplyDeleteGramps was especially entertaining, mostly with the princess at the end. And the Precious joke with Fluttershy.
Overall I felt it had a good close, felt like it fit the series well.
Normally i don't read fanfics, but i really enjoyed this one, and surprisingly i'm hoping for a sequel or something like that!
ReplyDeleteI noticed a couple of name errors (Fluttershy instead of Celestia and Luna instead of Celestia (unless both were there then it was a incorrect pronoun)). It was really confusing fixing them in my head.
ReplyDeleteMy qualms: Fluttershy goes psycho too quickly. You tried to pull off the whole 'lingering feelings' but I wasn't buying how quickly she digressed (a good 1 second). Also, I think Gramps is too all-knowing. I can see him knowing Twilight maybe, but Rainbow Dash? Gramps wasn't at the Gala, he was in the gardens the entire time.
Wasn't feeling it, but read it for the continuation of your other stories.
That final scene rounds the story up so perfectly
ReplyDelete