• Story: It's Always Sunny in Fillydelphia (Update Story 2!)


    [Shipping][Comedy]

    Author: Bobcat
    Description: When Applejack goes with Rainbow Dash on a trip to Fillydelphia, she learns that life doesn't always go according to plan... and that can lead to something better.
    It's Always Sunny in Fillydelphia

    Additional Tags: Eat pie, get a shipfic


    [Shipping][Adventure] (All New!)
    Description: What was supposed to be a simple trip to Ponyville instead leads Soarin on an adventure that will determine the future of all Equestria. Will he be able to save Applejack and her friends from a fate worse than death?
    Semper Fidelis 1
    Semper Fidelis 2
    Semper Fidelis 3
    Semper Fidelis 4
    Semper Fidelis 5

    Fanfiction.net (All Links)

    Additional Tags: Soarin, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, Everypony, Doctor, Get shipfic, get a sequel Whooves

    137 comments:

    1. Perfect! I've been reading the Pony Psychology series and it's such a downer, I really could use some ApplexDash right now.

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    2. Or ApplexSorin (the pic hadn't loaded) lol

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    3. The additional tags were all I needed to read this.

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    4. so if i eat pie and get a shipfic what happenes when i eat cake?

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    5. @Shmoogy
      No one will believe anything you say ever again. As is the way of the Cake-eater. *nods sagely*

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    6. And then phoe/shmoogy's comments made me laugh as much as reading this story.

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    7. Yep, I like. Quite a bit. It takes its time, its sweet and it just works. I really have no complaints or constructive criticism, so...

      I could see a sequel, but it works just as well as a single story. And I assume it will remain a single story.

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    8. This is a really unexpected pairing, but it works absolutely beautifully! AJ and Rainbow Dash are faithful to their personalities, Soarin is really nicely realized, and those con scenes come off way too realistic. Excellent work all around!

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    9. Soarin got full. What?
      Next Rarity will play in a mud puddle and Fluttershy will join a gang.

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    10. Hee. I liked it. Noted one little incongruity though. Dash doesn't get mad with AJ because she's the "element of charity." AJ's element is 'honesty'. Simple two word fix.

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    11. @ Somber

      I believe that was the joke. Dash was winding AJ up.

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    12. @Somber

      Ehm... Yeah... that is Dash just messing with AJ. Same as she calls her the element of Generosity first ^^ She is not serious.

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    13. @Somber
      It WAS corrected in the VERY next line of dialog by AJ, you know...

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    14. Very fun read. Also, Soarin's last name is Richtofen? That's a bad sign.

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    15. Amazing, a shipfic that doesn't read like

      1.) Characters meet
      2.) They are now deeply in love
      3.) Implied sex

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    16. Absolutely perfect!! Loved it, 6 stars for you sir!

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    17. Little did Soarin' realize air war was on the horizon, as the Diamond Dogs completed their horrific new flight of warplanes.

      "Curse you blue baron!"

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    18. Sorry. Didn't pick up on it at all. Apologies. Dysthymia makes jokes rather difficult at times. I'll keep my observations to myself.

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    19. This was great. I got quite a laugh out of the explanation AJ's three stages of grief.

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    20. Short, sweet, awesome - just like apple tarts, I guess.
      It had me smiling, laughing and pouting at the end, which was, all things considered, a bit sudden. That's pretty much the only complaint I have, though. Definitely worth a read!

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    21. a whole day of boring news and nothing good from equestria daily, youtube was slow today and i didnt find anything good, all my friends are in summer school or were busy doing something else, find this story posted, my whole day got better in 10 seconds flat, great story. 10/5 stars if i could

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    22. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    23. AppleDash... OR IS IT?!

      This... was... so... AWEXOME!

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    24. I actually skipped this at first, for some reason the summery (at FF.net) turned me off. But I decided to read it...I normally don't do simple praise reviews or many reviews at all, but for some reason I just really liked it. As someone noted above, it was nice to see a "romance blooming" instead of "romance zooming".

      I'm also VERY happy Applejack figured out quickly that the convention was wrong. Sometimes scenarios like that can be very....painful....if done badly.

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    25. This is now one of my favorite shipfics, mostly because it's not like other shipfics where it ends in implied sex of some kind.

      It was sweet and mushy and that's how I like it. X3

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    26. "Amazing, a shipfic that doesn't read like

      1.) Characters meet
      2.) They are now deeply in love
      3.) Implied sex"

      ----------

      Ironically, it was a story just like that that caused this story's existence, ala "Oh come on, they were talking five minutes ago, this is ridiculous, Big Mac should come in after drinking too much cider and go "Strange pony with mah sister? GET MAH SHOTGUN!...darn it, I can do this better!" And so Bobcat did.

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    27. The humor is so terribly clever in this story! Well done!

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    28. "...snoring like a congested chainsaw..."

      I AM SOLD. TAKE MY MONEY PLEASE.

      ...

      Just finished, holy crap. 5/5

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    29. "You know, magic, monsters, ancient evil; normal historical fiction stuff."

      Fantastic.

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    30. Absolutely brilliant.

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    31. Amazingly written.

      I'm especially in awe of your idea of giving Dash a chance with the Wonderbolts.

      As has already been said, I'd like this to turn into a series or see a sequel... but if it doesn't, that's okay. It's brilliant, just as it is.

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    32. An umpa loompa song and a rudimentary understanding of organic farming. You sir have earned my respect.

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    33. This. Was. Amazing.

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    34. Now that I think of it, I do have two things to bring up...

      -Applejack probably wouldn't be THAT averse to a bunch of sweaty guys, working on a farm all her life

      -Sourin' eating a hot dog. Really?

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    35. @Melodia

      1) There's sweat from a hard day's work and there's sweat that comes from poor hygiene.

      2) Pinkie Pie in an episode said she loved hot dogs.

      Also, thanks to everyone for the overwhelming response.

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    36. So.... this was amazing. I went ahead and put up a review (Or tried to. It isn't showing.) on it. It was absolutely amazing, in short. As many stars as possible. ;P

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    37. Normally I dislike ships. But this works so well. I love this.

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    38. What just happened? I was just reading this fic, then the next thing I know I'm apparently a crew member aboard some ship called the HMS Soarinjack. WTF?

      Kidding aside, Bobcat? You need to make a storyverse, dammit. your stories are too awesome to not be part of a continuous plot.

      OK, I gotta go now, the second mate is yelling at me. Later.

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    39. Brilliant. Brilliant and awesome. Brilliant and awesome and generally fantastic. I approve of this story on so many levels

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    40. Never been one for shipping but this has to be one the best fics I've read in while, please write more.

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    41. @Shellsh0cker

      Bobcat has said in the past that all his stories are in continuity with each other. As an example, the Horseshy factory was mentioned back in Forever.

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    42. That surprised me with it's awesomeness. So good.

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    43. You referenced the Fifth Doctor.

      YOU ARE FREAKIN AWESOME.


      And the story was a pleasurable read as well ;)

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    44. @Urimas Ebonheart

      Your wish is my command.

      EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

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    45. And now I apparently ship this? More shipping fics like this, please. Romance needs to build off the characters interactions.

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    46. I usually don't comment on these ship-fics, but this was very well done.
      Heck it could practically be episode material if it was reworked a bit.

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    47. @Bobcat
      There's also outdoor sweat and indoor sweat. Fresh air and lots of space makes a huge difference.

      Loved the story, and its pacing.

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    48. Another bobcat's classic. And I used to hate shipping with a vengence.

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    49. This was very sweet. Very, VERY well written except MAYBE two grammar mistakes. And, as stated before, you didn't fall into the shipping trap of 1. Randomly Meeting 2. For some reason they fall head over heels for each other 3. Implied "Clop" scene. This story was quite refreshing.

      Side note, I put this song on during the last few paragraphs, and it just made the last few moments THAT much sweeter.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJsyMmC76aM&annotation_id=annotation_379719&feature=iv

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    50. I thought Soarin's mane was navy blue, not black.

      That's really the only thing I didn't quite get.

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    51. @Melodia
      This times a thousand! Realistic romance plus fantastic humor equals please, please, please write more? :D
      Not necessarily a sequel, I mean... just anything. You rock! Woo-hoo~

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    52. @DrOrbitalDeathRay
      That line had me literally rolling on the floor. I couldn't catch my breath!

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    53. There aren't enough stars for this story! WHY ARE THERE NOT MORE STARS?!

      You made me laugh so hard, and d'awww so hard....

      Okay, gushing over. One little itsy-bitsy issue. I got a little confused at the airshow:
      "...ah've never seen that many ponies show up for anything before."
      "Oh yeah. The Canterlot show's like our world series."

      They're in Fillydelphia, so what was Soarin saying about Canterlot? I don't get it.

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    54. @Escher

      A brainfart and none of my many prereaders noticed.

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    55. See name "Always Sunny in Fillydelphia" and think it is a ponification of the television series.
      Read story, I am disappoint.

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    56. Hey, one other thing... I want to congratulate you for coming up with a good "personal trick" for Soarin', and not just uncreatively repeating the rainboom with their personal colors. It drives me nuts when authors do that, because it steals all the 'specialness' from Dash's accomplishment!

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    57. Shouldn't this have a 6-Star rating? It meets the requirements.

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    58. ...Applecon.

      Hmm.

      I think I like this already.

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    59. @Anonymous
      Yeah, but it's not like Seth monitors fics like that. Someone has to tell him it's 6-starred.

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    60. Late, but Hershey is way outside Philly, and was that a reference to Cool Hand Luke?

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    61. @Narwhals' Bend

      1) Yup, I know. I've been to Hershey. I just decided that Fillydelphia would be Pennsylvania averaged out.

      2) And yes. Yes it was.

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    62. That was awesome.
      I especially liked the "Stupid hair dye. I would have gotten away with it too..."
      So much lol.

      That was an awesome story.

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    63. I really hope their is a sequel and/or a conversion to TV. I really liked how AJ reacted to the wing over the shoulder. It was really nice to see how the differences between a earth pony and a pegi evolved past I fly and you don't. It expanded to how the characters reacted to each other, tried to accommodate each other, and even made inside comments/jokes.

      I commend your depth sir, your depth is A-Class.

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    64. This is such a good fic. I've been reading so many absurd random fics lately, with all the in-your-face meme throwing you could ask for, that I'd forgotten what real comedy is. It's so natural in this piece, and that's what blows me away. Even the zany Willy Wonka parody -- easily the goofiest part -- was hilarious and natural. (The song was the best bit!)

      And then there's Rainbow Dash being a jerk to Applejack. That was just awesome. And Miriam.

      All your characters are great, Soarin in particular, building off what little of him we've really gotten to see. (I love SoarinJack, so that helps too. And I love his last name!) And Applejack's attempts at introspection, especially her lingering doubts as to his intentions, were pretty amazing as character development goes.

      This is the first fic in a long time I haven't had to make any excuses for loving; I just love it. It was a trip to read. You get all the stars!

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    65. To summarize the comments so far

      "Thank You"

      P.S. Seconds please, your story is tasty

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    66. D'aw...D'aaaw...D'AAAAAAW! That was wonderful. Such a smooth, heartfelt, and believable story. It just felt so natural and real, and I think that's a much needed element for any good love story. The way their relationship built up just makes them fit so perfectly, and while we don't see them being soul mates yet, the ending leaves the reader satisfied with their date. Very nicely done, this fanfic gives me high hopes for the other shipping stories. 5/5

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    67. Best. Shipping. Story. Ever. Seriously, the feelings and emotions in this story are too good for it to be considered mere shipping (I'm not much a fan of shipping, as you might be able to tell...), this is just a really heartfelt pleasant little story, with some great comedy (the chocolate factory, the comic-con, and the references to Philadelphia are just great!).

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    68. "Most ponies have seven stages of grief. Applejack had three. She was efficient like that.

      First came shock. "Cancelled due to lack of interest?"

      Next, rage. "Cancelled due to lack of interest!"

      Finally, acceptance. "Cancelled due to lack of interest."

      Excellent! I think this might be the only shipping fic I didn't hate myself for attempting to read. Don't do a sequel or anything. It's perfect as a stand alone. I look forward to reading more stories from you in the future, Bobcat.

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    69. Second story?

      Must read!

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    70. Whoa sequel fic?
      This should be intersting

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    71. Muahaha.

      Soarinjack here we go!

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    72. Kimba the White LionAugust 13, 2011 at 8:53 PM

      SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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    73. SEQUEL. YES. Sorry about the caps. xD I'm really excited, though. This is one of my favorite fanfics, and I'm really happy about seeing a sequel. Now to read it...

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    74. Oh no.... sequel? It was so great as a stand alone. but then again...


      Yaaay~ sequel! awesomeness abounds.

      *reads*

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    75. Bobcat, (WARNING SPOILERS)

      I just want to tell you how epic "Semper Fidelis" is. The first story (It's Always Sunny in Fillidelphia") is one of my favorite shipfics and definitely one of my favorite Soarin' fics.

      "Semper Fidelis" takes that sweet first story and throws in danger, growing love, and a battle between good and evil worthy of Soarin', the mane cast, and their friends and families. This story was a joy to read from start to finish (in one sitting no less) and I hope it is not the end of your Soarin' x Applejack stories. I have grown to love this pairing a lot through your stories.

      You took an honest, sincere goofball of a pie-loving stunt pegasis with some air combat training and made him a hero of not only his planet but of potentially countless ones driven by his love of Applejack. He did the impossible and risked it all just for her. He fully expected to die and had no regrets save for not keeping his promise to make it back to her. Luckily, the fates had other ideas. ;)

      Soarin' proved he is well deserving of his rank and place among the Wonderbolts and his family. It was epic to watch this story unfold and I thank you for it. I do hope you have more in store for us for Applejack and Soarin'.

      PS: Applebloom was adorable the entire time with Soarin'! "Ah am a big pony!"

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    76. Ok... let me get this straight.
      One of the best ships on the site (maybe the only good ship), best stories on the site.

      Yes, we realize that it is amazing.

      You know what jumping the shark is?....

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    77. @KShrike

      So... is that you reading it and not liking it, or you worrying about shark jumping prior to reading it?

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    78. If only my job would accept Bobcat's fanfiction as a proper excuse for low energy...

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    79. @Bobcat
      Chapter one of Semper Fidelis. Done.

      I'm pretty sure your heard by now that everyone loves Always SUnny. I'll agree. Its the best ship fic on the site, mostly because you understand Shipping is short for 'relationSHIP', not just two characters getting hot and heavy for the sake of it. You actually build a relationship, and that is what makes your work so wonderful.

      One chapter in and I'm hooked. at first I was skeptical, but hell, its midnight where I am and fuck sleep I'm reading Semper Fidelis and plan to (hopefully) enjoy every word of it.

      Keep producing pure awesome. Its your special talent. Your cutiemark must look epic.

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    80. Gah, I'm sorry, I had to stop reading once they turned back to Del Mare. Getting to Celestia is the single most important priority here; all she has to do is not lower the sun, and Tirek's threat is reduced immensely. Yeah, I know they had to defend Del Mare, but the advantage Celestia would give is just so overwhelming that it hurt to see them give it up.

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    81. Didn't think you could top your first one there...I'm happy you surprised me. :)

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    82. Even if you don't like shipfics, this is an amazingly fun read. Nothing at all about this feels forced. I'm very curious to read the next set of stories!

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    83. Honestly, I'm not sure how much I like this. I was kind of hoping for another 'slice of life' story. Then again, it's got plenty of action, and it's a sequel to Always Sunny, so I can't complain to much.

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    84. alrighty... Up until about midway through chapter 3, I was really enjoying Semper.

      ...then Scorpan Morphed, then things got downright weird, and then the rest of the main six comes onto the scene, and in general, I'm thinking "what the hell?"
      While it is certainly not bad, I'm starting to feel a little put off at the bizarreness of the events unfolding. Not weird enough to be considered ridiculous and not taken too seriously, but still weird enough to make them feel a little out of place.

      Yeah its a sequel to always sunny, but god above did the style take a sharp left into oddworld.

      onto chapter 4

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    85. as the above anon....

      nvm. chapter 4 was just way to cool. Smiling that hard can only confirm how cool this this is.

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    86. Between the rather nice dynamic between Soarin and AJ, the insane things Soarin has to pull off to get anything done, and every word out of the real Scorpan's mouth, this was a great story.

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    87. Hmmm...not bad, and a good epic story, but I just don't think it holds a candle to the original story. The comedy there was so brilliant and the romantic feelings there were so well written. The original story was a work of genius, while this story feels more like your run of the mill epic with a bit of decent romance thrown in.

      Still, I like the Del Mare pun. And it is a decent story. It's just not...quite what I had hoped for.

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    88. Me again. After finishing the fic, I'm going to revise my earlier statements.

      I also like your Dr. Whooves; It's not often the older Doctors get love. It's also good to see genuinely threatening G1 villains. But I still kinda wish the rest of the story was like the first chapter: More slice of life. I nearly woke up the rest of the house when Applebloom was interrogating Soarin.

      Overall I guess I'm going to have to repeat what John said. It's an excellent story, just not quite what we were hoping for. I do hope to see more of your stories later.

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    89. Sequel, squee!

      @KShrike
      Uh... skilled authors tend to remain skilled. That's why shark-jumping is notable.
      I mean, Celestia forbid an author ever write a second fic, right?

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    90. I can definitely appreciate the people who were surprised by the genre shift. It was an experiment on my part; my prototype for the story was more of the same, but it wound up, upon closer inspection, just being Applebuck Season told slightly differently. So, I came up with this idea.

      Thanks to the people who told me what they felt didn't work. I wasn't playing it safe this time, and it showed in places.

      I'm glad I've gotten a mostly positive response, though. I've been at this for two months pretty much constantly and I was worried the response would be more mixed than it has been. Everyone's kind words have made it feel worthwhile.

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    91. I am greatly disappointed.







      There is no donate button ')

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    92. This fandom has hetero shipping too?

      Wow, nice.

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    93. Well I enjoyed It's Always Sunny in Fillydelphia alot so that I gave it 5 stars+1. And Semper Fidelis started out quite well.... and then it went crazy and retarded. Ok we are talking about a world of magic and talkin ponies but cmon... some ├╝ber demon shows up who has conquered hundreds of worlds but somehow only takes his right hand minion, a hand full of dragons and his chariot to conquer the next one? Is this some crossover I didn't get? And when I tought it couldn't get more annoying Dr. Whooves shows up. ugh. I never understood the hype. I remember watching the show when I was very little so that I don't really remember anything and when I watched one episode of the new series it just struck me as totally retarded so I never picked it up.

      I really really loved the first story and I think the author should stick to those kind of stories or should pick more plausible scenarios for the adventure stuff.

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    94. Bobcat, I'm liking you. Great set of stories here, though after reading the story and looking back at your previous works, I'm not surprised.

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    95. @ Vadios

      The whole thing was an homage to the earlier series of MLP, season one 1 think. Yeah, back in the eighties there was a strange theme of having horrifying demonic overlords as villains and fluffy adorable whatevers as protaganists.

      And don't you be dissin' the good doctor! Watch some of the David Tennant episodes, that might change your tune.

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    96. Additional Tags: Eat pie, get a shipfic

      Genius...

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    97. it is nice.... i like it
      naaa.... INCREIBLE!!!!^^
      Azura.... this is my comment not yours!
      ok,ok ya me fui^^
      thanks, is very cute this story :D
      -the little pony(jelly)

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    98. I tried to love this. I really did. I loved Sunny, and the first... two thirds of this one were fantastic. Just as good, if not better than, Sunny.

      The first chapter had all of the snappy, fun dialog and humor of the original story, but played against the straightest of straight men with Big Mac. And the second and most of the third chapters did a really good job of world building and character interactions between AJ and Soarin. You could feel this story. In spite of (or, perhaps even because of) the entire situation being told second person from AJ, you could feel the somber atmosphere. You could feel Applejack's regret and sorrow. You could feel Soarin's inner conflict in not knowing the best way to comfort AJ as she teetered near another emotional breakdown. You could feel the intensity in the air. When Scorpan said "Vibria here is a racing dragon. She caught the blue Element of Harmony, and I am assured that she is much, much faster than you," I felt my heart stop. This story was damned powerful.



      Then Scorpan transformed. And while that didn't bother me in itself, nor did the genre change that followed, what did bother me was the nosedive in the writing quality. Suddenly, the story's pace kicked into hyperdrive. Events started happening in such a rapid succession that you could practically hear them bouncing off of each other. Characters started making choices to let the story work rather than choices that would realistically be made. And, worse, the story started running afoul of "show, don't tell."


      There were pieces of brilliance after that turning point (Applejack losing control and attacking Tirek in a flurry of emotion after seeing the other Element bearers, AJ and Soarin comforting each other right before AJ was corrupted, Soarin keeping himself in the air by remembering one of AJ's letters, the Dr. Whooves delaying tactic), but otherwise the story honestly fell into borderline 3/5 quality from when they turned back from Celestia to Del Mare throughout the ending.

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    99. @TenchiFreak5

      >Events started happening in such a rapid succession that you could practically hear them bouncing off of each other.

      Echoing this sentiment. The action scenes are really hard to follow: it's like watching Batman, but the screen blacks out for five seconds every time the protagonist gets punched. And Soarin' gets knocked around a lot, so it's a sequence of "crap, gotta do something desperate" -> Soarin' blacks out -> repeat.

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    100. The sequel was not exactly what I expected. While the first story is something I can see as true to the nature of the show, the sequel has gone another direction. In my opinion, Tirek just isn't a villain that fits in this universe, even if he is a reasonable choice and better than just making up something completely random.

      That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the story, it was very well built and Soarin's backstory and characterization was very interesting. I also liked a lot of the more silly scenes even though I think, the story could have used even a few more of those.
      The action scenes could use a bit of improvement however. They consisted too much of Soarin's thoughts and narrator comments / explanations that could have been left out.
      Another point, as already mentioned was them turning back, instead of going to fetch the princesses. It was necessary for the story, but you didn't give them enough incentive to do it when the whole world was in danger. Soarin should know when a tactical retreat is in order. Besides that, Tirek threatening to kill 2,193 ponys, including one newborn foal is a bit harsh.

      The ending also felt a bit short, what happened to the doctor or Big Mac after the fight? Did Soarin get a chance to meet Twilight and the others? It would have been nice to see a bit more of the world that has just been saved, instead of just saying giving Soarin an extra week of vacation and promising him a medal from Celestia later. While he was the main protagonist, I care about the other characters too, you know?

      I hope I didn't sound too harsh now, after all, I still liked the story a lot. Would love to see more from you, maybe another shipping story?

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    101. Hi BobCat. :) I'm posting a review here as well as on the Fanfiction.net page. (Wall of text incoming.) I hope it helps out. (It'll be in two parts. It just won't post all at once for some reason.)

      Wow. Just wow. You've done it again BobCat. It's not perfect, but nothing is, and this still deserves a wow. Well, on to business, shall we? (To any who haven't read the story and are looking at reviews first, read a different one. This one is going to be spoilertastic.)

      The first 3 chapters of this were absolutely amazing. Everyone was in character, once again. (Nice job with that.) Plus, everything helped build up the relationship between Soarin' and Applejack. Your pairing works quite well, and was shown in this. Add on the moments of wit and humor, the great writing quality... pretty much everything else. I liked the airborne tactics that you played out quite a bit as well. They were entertaining and everything made sense. And the enemies... Even if you had no idea who Scorpan was (And I didn't. Although you did make me curious enough to look it up, and I'm intrigued, to say the very least.) he still worked out for what he was. Your descriptions were also wonderful. It showed everything in rich detail. I enjoyed reading that immensely.

      And then Scorpan transformed.

      While I will say that the story took a turning point there, it wasn't enough to ruin the story. Now don't get me wrong, I still loved the story, but I'm stating my general opinion here. I think you worked with everything quite well. However, the major issue I had at this point was that you unloaded everything much too quickly on us. The story went from being a shipping fiction tied in with a miniature war, (I'm not entirely sure how to describe it.) to fast paced chaos, with a little shipping. I'm not saying that's bad, as, like I've said before, you worked with it quite well, but I just think you did it too quickly. If you got excited about the story at this point and wrote it at a faster pace, your mood changed, or anything, I don't really know, but everything was just happening too fast. The Scorpan transformation worked well, granted. There really wasn't another way. He had to transform at some point. (Really, the only problem that I had with that was Applejack and Soarin' trusting him far too quickly. He was literally their enemy about 30 seconds ago, and then they just let him go.) It was everything after that. (Continued below.)

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    102. You had this huge information dump quickly proceeding the transformation, (Scorpan's story, Tirek, etc.) although I will give you that you had to deliver the information somehow, although if you could have found a way to trickle more information slowly, rather than dump it out all at once, then it would have worked better. I did like how you got Soarin' and Applejack to go back, however. That was genius, as it was greatly in character. What I didn't like was how acceptant Scorpan was, though. He pretty much just let the world's one saving grace go right back into danger with hardly a second thought. Then the battle scene. The battle scenes immediately following were quite good good, I must say, and the romantic scene before Applejack's transformation was as well. I also liked how you managed to keep Soarin' in the story at that point, and how well it worked, but then it went slightly downhill again. Soarin's big moment where he cleared the sky just wasn't as impressive as I imagined it to be, partly due to a logical flaw. (Well, maybe. It could just be me being crazy, or completely over analyzing this. As such, I'll put it in another paragraph for you to skip if it's too crazy or something. x])

      So, Tirek had free reign in Soarin's mind. He knew his exact plan, as well as his logic. Could he not have predicted where Soarin' was, or what he was doing? I mean, Tirek only shot at him a few times before he disappeared. You'd think since Tirek knew just about everything about what Soarin' was about to do that he'd be able to find him again, and at least get off a couple more shots. That would have made the entire thing much more impressive; doing the impossible while having an added obstacle. (End of the crazy rant.)

      So anyways, directly after that was wonderful. I loved Soarin' reciting the letter, although I don't know why he'd be saying it out loud at all. Still, it was brilliant. So was the band of ponies showing up afterwards. At that point, it took an upward turn once more. Everything afterwards was, in my opinion, wonderful. Doctor Whooves was great, as were all of the other ponies, and their plan was pretty neat. (Especially Doctor Whooves' 'distraction plan.' That had me cracking up.) I do find it odd, however, that even though Tirek knew about their plan, and knew that it had a chance of succeeding, he didn't really act too much until it was too late. I guess that's overconfidence for you, though. (Granted, he did almost ruin it at the end, so he wasn't too far off I suppose.) And then the ending. I loved how you wrapped it all up, although it did feel a bit like a premature ending. There wasn't much of an Applejack and Soarin' moment. (Well, there was one, but it didn't really feel like enough to me. I don't know. That could just be me, but it didn't feel like it tied that specific aspect together quite enough.) Aside from that, though, the ending was pretty nice, although an epilogue would be nice to wrap this up even more.

      All in all, I'd say... oh, about an 8.5/10 to a 9/10. I still liked it a lot, don't get me wrong, but it felt like you rushed the second half of the story. Still, you did a wonderful job BobCat. I'll be looking forward to your next story. :) (Maybe a sequel to the sequel? ;P)

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    103. ^ tl;ra

      (Too long, read anyway)

      That was an awesome story. I wish there were more fics that read like it.

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    104. Oh, I forgot to mention that the review was for the second story. The first one was completely amazing in every way.

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    105. I loved these stories SO MUCH. I have a feeling I'll just read them over and over again.

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    106. How you managed to turn the best shipping stories into one of the best adventure stories is beyond me, but good skill in doing so.

      Loved both of these.

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    107. Upon further reflecting, I'd just like to say, (Even though I've said it already.) BobCat, you wrote two wonderful stories. No, two AMAZING stories. While it sounds like I didn't like the second one, (Or to me it does. Maybe I'm just feeling bad for you. ;P) that isn't the case. I LOVED the second one, almost as much as the first. (And believe me, topping the first takes a lot.) I was just being extremely critical about it to provide a constructive review for you. But criticalness aside, it was an absolutely amazing piece of work. All of your MLP: FiM fanfictions are. Thank you for sharing it with us. :)

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    108. Even when I've already finished your first story, I still can't get past reading Soarin' in Liam O'Brien's voice (even though that doesn't even remotely sound like him in the show)

      And with Tirek, I (strangely befitting enough) imagine him to speak with that monstrous, robotic demon's growl Hugo Weaving had playing Megatron in Transformers.

      AJ is still Ashleigh Ball.

      Scorpan is, well... I'm not exactly sure what I imagine his voice to be.

      I hope I wasn't too weird with this comment, but those are my thoughts. Just putting it out there (as well as stating my desire for this to be animated).

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    109. @DantE.MusT.DiE

      Though this getting animated would probably be the best thing that ever happened in bronydom, not to mention that it'd be SO awesome.

      /)(^3^)(\

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    110. "You remind me of my little brother, Chandelle."
      HAH! That sounds more like a girl's name, but I love this idea!
      And then there's crazy uncle Lomcevak...

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    111. I'm glad I wasn't drinking while reading this, because there were so many lines that would have made me spit-take.

      "I've met a lot of silly ponies, Applejack, and you aren't silly."
      Lies! All lies! Oh well, at least this AJ doesn't sound like she smokes three packs a day.

      "You know what happens to a dragon when it's hit by lightning? Neither do I! Let's find out!"
      Okay, I hate you now. But it's a friendly sort of hate.

      I loved Soarin exploiting the failed Rainboom. I can just see him saluting as he flies backwards past Vibria. Your take on Scorpan was very interesting, too.

      "In the name of Princess Celestia, we're going to--"
      ...punish you? Is that where you were going with that? XD

      I won't tell any of the objectors they're wrong, but none of those things really bothered me. The fast pace really kept the momentum high, which is a valid stylistic choice. I enjoyed this fic a lot, and I'll definitely give it a solid 5 stars. I did like Sunny better, but... well, that's six-star territory, amirite?

      @DantE.MusT.DiE
      Scorpan (human mode) is played by Brian Blessed in my head.

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    112. That was a great story!!

      Many Thanks

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    113. Have all of my stars. I'll review more later.

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    114. I only regret that I have already given this give stars and thus can give it no more.

      They've been writing letters to each other. THAT IS SO CUTE ;____; eeeeeeeeee

      Apple Bloom's attempt to get her cutie mark through hearing a story is great. Well, this whole thing is great, let's just get that out of the way. CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SPY CORPS! My only question at this point is, does Big Mac get a kick out of intimidating his sister's beau?

      So, Scorpan. Very interesting, very 80's Saturday morning cartoon (design-wise, anyway). Feels G1?

      Oh man, his reaction when he wakes up next to her. Beautiful! Here, food, shut up!

      A very minor thing that I really like here is Soarin being unfamiliar with the Elements of Harmony. They're not superheroes or celebrities, it makes perfect sense that the mane six and their feat should go entirely unnoticed by the general populace.

      THOR'S HAMMER

      Oh wow, it took me a few momnets to realize he was trying to FAIL at the Sonic Rainboom. Now that's goddamn clever!

      LINENS AND FIREWORKS. What is it with pony commerce?

      AUGH you did not make an Applejacks commercial reference! AUGH!

      I think the first scene break in chapter 3 was supposed to go a line earlier. It seems misplaced.

      I like the explanation for there being real Shadowbolts. I've always kind of wondered about people using them when they were basically just illusions created by Nightmare Moon.

      Whoa, did NOT see that coming. This is a great set of beings you've dreamed up here. TIREK OH SNAP. I guess I need to start watching G1, there are so many references to it that I just do not get. Oh, and apparently Scorpan IS G1. It all makes sense now!

      PONIHEIM YES

      "2,193. It's a girl." Holy fuck is that chilling. Easily the best line in this.

      Dumb magic things! Why don't you glow first?

      I like that Soarin's plans don't work out the first time. That's so reliastic and very true to his character, I think.

      "Oh shut up already." Why does Tirek get all the best dialogue.

      I can't believe how much has happened so far and I'm only just now halfway through.

      Neat who you picked to lead the charge in with Macintosh. Oh wait, the Doctor just outdid Tirek. That's marvelous! Oh shit, best dialogue EVER!

      Unfortunate misspelling on kumquat there.

      I like Highfly. Like, she actually has to say aloud that they're being deceitful.

      Wow, that was great! Awesome action, and what a climax! Great dialogue, romance, everything a story needs! Six-star series for sure.

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    115. This was a really great stroy I never considered the pairing of AppleJack and Soarin. They are pretty good together ^-^

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    116. I'm not sure I dare read the second series, but I just feel compelled to mention I read the first one, and it was excellent. I WANT to tack on some minor criticizm, but I can't find anything in my goodie bag. Er, baddie bag.

      Unorthodox ship, brilliant character portrayals, lovely language and-

      No, floored. Thank you for writing this.

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    117. Well... huh. I never expected Applejack/Soarin, much less in a romance fic (which is completely different from a shipping fic, by the way).

      Awesome read, instant 5 stars.

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    118. Just finished the second story, and I can't think of anything else to say besides that it was bucking awesome.

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    119. In my other posts, I make it clear that MLP is the only series where I've read and enjoyed fanfiction. The biggest reason regards shipping fiction. I HATE shipping. It's almost never done right. This story on the other hand goes against my stereotype of shipfics. Most shipfics don't follow the canon characters very well, and that's why I don't read them.

      For example: A story starts with AJ having a crush on Rarity; the story revolves around AJ getting Rarity to like her back. While I could see this shipping happen, there's nowhere in the canon that hints at AJ having feelings for Rarity. I could see them both getting into a situation where they would, in time, develop feelings for each other.

      Your fic does what I like to see in ANY fic: Play the characters as if they were canon (or very close). AJ didn't even know Soarin until he said so. It starts off a bit casual, and develops into Soarin being extra nice for some odd reason. AJ's acting didn't give any surprises (meaning she acted in character). She reacted to Soarin's affection the way I would expect AJ to react.

      So REALLY nice you did in the first story. A shipfic I enjoyed. One last thing with story 1: I LOVED how you gave the Wonderbolts a purpose other than an airshow. The story behind the Wonderbolts and Soarin's cutie mark made the story much more interesting, and gave me much more respect for the Wonderbolts (just remembered that his cutie mark story is in story 2; no matter, my point stands).

      Now about the second story. I don't know what the other comments mean about the fight scenes being too hard to follow. I could picture them rather easily. The story isn't fresh in my mind, but I do know there were only about 2 places I had to re-read to make sure I got the scene. I will say that the fight scenes with Tirek felt like watching an episode of DBZ in the Frieza saga. Yeah, AJ busted his legs and his rib, but she only staggered him, and we'll never mention those injuries later. They were a bit long, and the battle was incredibly one-sided. Also in the end, Scorpan never mentioned or cursed Tirek for making him fight his own dragons (he did earlier, but we never learned what happened to them).

      (Huh, this is the first time I've had to split my posts in half. You get a trophy, Bobcat!)

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    120. I know a lot of comments mention the return to Del Mare was very unrealistic, and I'll have to agree to an extent. I was reading it thinking "You idiots, you're gonna get killed," but at the same time I agreed with their decision. You guys need to remember that if they continued to Canterlot, all of the ponies within a X-mile radius would die. I think Soarin's decision was justified that he couldn't let anypony die as he is still a member of the military. You also need to remember his cutie mark: Semper Fidelis, means always faithful (I don't remember if the story provides a translation). Semper fi is the motto of the US Marine Corps. Soarin, as a military man, knew he had to do SOMETHING to stop Tirek, even if it meant sacrificing his life. My only criticism here was to at least send someone to the nearby town to still send a letter or something. I don't remember where, but I know they mentioned that town to not be far off. That sounds to me to have been the most practical.

      In that final 5 minutes, I felt like I was watching another episode of DBZ. While reading, I think at least 12 minutes passed before the Elements were ready. Maybe Tirek just wasn't phased by the posse as much as I had hoped, or even the Doctor causing annoyance didn't take as much time as I had thought.

      !!!SPOILERS!!!(These spoilers are for Past Sins as I reference an important plot point in that story.) I nearly got annoyed reading when Soarin thought there would be good in Tirek. I was hoping there wouldn't be a twist that would give Tirek redeeming qualities like Nexus in Past Sins. Nexus was well justified in the following scene, and I could certainly see how he could be redeemed as none of the story was his fault; he was possessed by the evil in Nightmare Moon the whole time. The story actually made him a hero because without him, Nyx wouldn't have had any good in her. Tirek, on the other hand, just had no redeeming qualities I could find, and I was glad you didn't go through with it. You had already done it once with Scorpan, and doing that a second time would have been anticlimactic. I only wonder why you even had Soarin have that train of thought when it was quickly dismissed, and never brought up again. !!!END SPOILERS!!!

      I don't think I have much after this. I liked the story, and the 2nd story ended just how I hoped a shipfic like this would: The superiors turned a blind eye to allow the shipping couple to live happily for a while (a sort of honeymoon). I'll be reading more from you, Bobcat. Nice job, and 5-star.

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    121. Apples and apple accessories? Genius.

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    122. AND A DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE? I LOVE YOU

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    123. Followed a link to this from the more recent story Trains, Carriages and Airships.

      I loved these two stories, and can really get behind Applejack/Soarin.

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    124. Both stories = epic
      I don't use epic that often because it's overused but this truly deserves it.
      Now I can't not see an Applejack/Soarin relationship :D

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