• Story: Creeping Darkness (Update Complete!!)

    [Crossover][GrimLight] An Alan Wake crossover?! This has potential, especially with ponies heading the story!


    Author: Pen Stroke
    Description: A MLP FiM crossover with the XBOX 360 game Alan Wake

    There is a shadow to all of existence, a place that all worlds are shielded from by a thin veil. A Dark Place, where a single presence plots and struggles to consume all creation with its darkness. The author Alan Wake is one who has defeated this Dark Presence, but to save his wife and his world Alan had to remain trapped in the darkness.

    Now, through his struggles to return to his wife, Alan has unintentionally released the Darkness and an old villain upon Equestria. To fix the mistake, Alan starts a new story with Twilight Sparkle as the protagonist. Can the unicorn find the strength to face the darkness, or is all of Equestria doomed to be the victim in the dreadful horror story?

    Note: Story assumes no preceding knowledge of the game Alan Wake. Written for any MLP:FiM fan to enjoy.
    Creeping Darkness Prelude
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 1
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 2
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 3
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 4
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 5
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 6
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 7
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 8
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 9
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 10 
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 11 (New!)
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 12 (New!)
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 13 (New!)
    Creeping Darkness Chapter 14 (New!)
    Creeping Darkness Epilogue (New!)

    Creeping Darkness Alternate

    Additional Tags: Ponies try to stand against The Dark Presence, Alan Wake, Horror

    149 comments:

    1. Oh my god.

      Alan Wake is one of the best games I've played on a console. It makes me wish I had a 360, despite not wanting any other game on it (pc faggot master race). Fffuuuuuuuu

      ReplyDelete
    2. I hope Twilight brought enough D-cells and AA's

      *rim shot*

      ReplyDelete
    3. I kid you not, I was just thinking about this game.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Must read this sometime. Alan Wake was amazing.

      ReplyDelete
    5. Grimlight? What does that mean?

      ReplyDelete
    6. @Anonymous

      The story is Grimlight because the situation itself is dark in nature but there no explicit depiction of blood or gore.

      ReplyDelete
    7. @Lawrence Gander
      Pretty sure she can make light whenever she wants

      I just hope she doesn't have to switch her horn batteries :I

      ReplyDelete
    8. I lurve ponies. I lurve Alan Wake.

      Why not?

      ~Buddy Vox

      ReplyDelete
    9. With Alan Wake's unique narrative and experience, this has the potential for greatness. I'm surprised it's not being labeled as Grimdark.

      ReplyDelete
    10. Just about half way through chapter four.

      Dialog is somewhat difficult to read, since it isn't always going back and forth between two characters. What skills you have for your prose and setting and exposition is... slightly at a loss with your dialog. Movements, inflection, something besides just the quotes. It helps visualize the scene a LOT more.

      ReplyDelete
    11. @TGPFluttershy
      Coincidentally, this is explained in the story, which is actually leaving me VERY intrigued.

      ReplyDelete
    12. Just read the prologue, and you're really good at writing in Alan's voice. It's almost as if I can hear his voice actor through my headphones. O.o

      ReplyDelete
    13. @Pen Stroke Pony
      Sooo... No explicit death then? A lot of us don't like death in our pony...

      ReplyDelete
    14. Fucking damnit that ending.

      Need more. Need so much more. Your action flows perfectly, everyone is in character and I keep imagining the exact same town as the game (not sure if intended). My god this is so good, please please continue; you obviously will but my god it's done well.

      ReplyDelete
    15. i enjoyed alan wake so i cant wait to read this

      ReplyDelete
    16. im surpirsed i havent seen a silent hill my little pony crossover yet >.>

      ReplyDelete
    17. You, sir (madam?), have just combined two of my most favorite things; Eff yeah, I'm reading this tonight!

      ReplyDelete
    18. http://i52.tinypic.com/dpzs44.png

      ReplyDelete
    19. This is such a great story. I find myself hoping that the ponies will end up helping Alan Wake to get out of the dark place.

      ReplyDelete
    20. Looking forward to the next chapter by the way.

      ReplyDelete
    21. I don't think I've read a fanfiction as compelling as this one. I honestly can't wait for its continuation!

      ReplyDelete
    22. The not so subtle references to FiM were distrubing to me... For example, "She chose to remember Pinkie Pie's song, Giggle at the Ghosties". When was the song even named in-universe?

      ReplyDelete
    23. For some (albeit awesome) reason, this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq5YSqzX6Jk) fits in the first chapter. And +500 points to anyone who's actually read any of the books this song comes from, or the anime.

      ReplyDelete
    24. This is awesome.

      ReplyDelete
    25. Okay, that was one evil cliffhanger you left on Chapter 4....better be an update....

      Best horror fanfic I've ever seen. Can't wait to see more!

      ReplyDelete
    26. This is brilliant.
      I'm a paranoid pony when it comes to the dark or anything paranormal so this is the exact thing I love.
      Something new to fear.
      I hope a new chapter comes soon.

      ReplyDelete
    27. I've just finished reading chapter5 and, wow. I gotta say, your action-horror story is really good. It has the 'flow' and while not being scary per se, it did keep my attention and made me want more of it. Keep up writing the good stuff!

      And oddly enough I can't shake off the mental images from Rescue From Midnight Castle.

      So, evil shadow-Applejack anypony~?

      ReplyDelete
    28. I'm just sad at the fact I didn't get to enjoy some pony poker. :(

      But the story is going quite well. Looking forward to the next chapter.

      ReplyDelete
    29. Alan Wake was by far my favorite game. Yeeeess....

      ReplyDelete
    30. PHWAAAAAAAAH
      OH GOD THAT CLIFFHANGER

      ReplyDelete
    31. ...I currently hate the author for leaving it with that cliffhanger.

      ReplyDelete
    32. I find myself hoping that at one point Pinkie Pie goes crazy and tries to kill them in order to keep them from falling prey to the darkness. Possibly when Pinkie and Twilight are all alone. THAT would be horror story material.

      ReplyDelete
    33. Well fuck Pinkie Pie's gone so that idea doesn't work.

      ReplyDelete
    34. This story made me start playing Alan Wake again, and it is glorious.

      Seriously, this story is ranking as probably my favorite out of the, admittedly few, fanfictions I've read.You've not only captured the characters of the mane 6, but you've also nailed down Wake's writing style, and I can almost imagine the entire thing being narrated by his voice actor. I only have a couple issues outside general spelling and grammer, one of which being the songs. As much as I love those songs, suddenly having a URL in the story kinda broke the flow for me, and I felt that just writing the lyrics in the story and leaving the links for after would've helped a bit. Just something to keep in mind for the future I suppose, hehe. But other than that, this story is engaging, stays true to the characters from both works, and kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time.

      And yes, I think you're a bastard for chapter 6's cliffhanger. >:C

      ReplyDelete
    35. You got an evil way of writing cliffhangers, you know that? (Heh, previous review called you a bastard...I was gonna too and I didn't even read that until now)

      That aside, I can't put into words how amazed I am on how well you have put this fic together. There's a lot of bad crossover fics out there, and originally I passed right over this story because of it. For that, I'm sorry for being cynical.

      I never played Alan Wake...but now I'm thinking about renting the game.

      I hope we get to see more of this.

      ReplyDelete
    36. This is... so awesome. Pinkie Pie and Rarity now... You're going to take everyone now aren't you? ALL OF THEM!? Gonna fuckin'... leave Twilight all alone, or at least with Fluttershy... especially considering the game, you'll probably leave ONE.

      Steben, obviously this entire fic is MAJOR spoilers, to some degree, but you'll still be able to enjoy it. It isn't scary, it's just remarkably atmospheric with a fantastic story.

      ReplyDelete
    37. I just have one question for you,
      WHY U MAKE CLIFF HANGAR LIKE THAT

      ReplyDelete
    38. I have never played Alan Wake so this style of narration is unique and engaging. I also neglected to read the prologue so I can piece the everything together later as I immerse myself.

      I like what you've created here. The idea that Celestia and Luna were so readily defeated took some time to settle, but I am very interested on how the mane cast is going to pull this off and escape this whole shadowy affair.

      Great work and I hope you update soon because I sure do love me a good pony-horror fic.

      ReplyDelete
    39. OH HELL YES FOUR UPDATES OH MAN THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD.

      ReplyDelete
    40. Dat cliffhanger!

      This is beyond exciting. As a huge fan of Alan Wake, I gotta say that the story has been incredible so far. Can't wait to see what happens next... Let's hope for the best.

      ReplyDelete
    41. This cliffhanger is WORSE than the one before!

      GAH!

      Confound this author!

      ReplyDelete
    42. OH MY GOSH I WANT THE NEXT PART SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

      ReplyDelete
    43. Is anybody else confused at the end of Ch 10? Does it mean everypony is down or that only Twi and Fluttershy are left but they are somewhere else?

      ReplyDelete
    44. No.....no. NO.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
      PLEASE DON'T KILL ALL OF THEM OFF NOW!
      THIS STORY CAN STILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!
      GIVE IT ONE NOW!
      I... beg of you... *crying*

      ReplyDelete
    45. you and your pony licking cliffhangers!!!
      god damn!
      and I thought the last one was bad

      ReplyDelete
    46. Dear author, you. are. evil. I like the Fitzgerald quote and the things that followed. Though, for a moment I hoped for Alan to appear as a slowly-disappearing humanoid-monster-like (yet fully self aware)creature that would crumble to dust after saving the trio. But again, I really like how you finished his part there.

      Wonder if he'll appear in the grand finale next to Shadow-Pinkie and Shadow-Applejack? Anyhoof, good work there and I'm waiting for the next update!

      .....there WILL be new chapters, right? Right?

      ReplyDelete
    47. Well done, I await the finale with bated breath.

      ReplyDelete
    48. @Anonymous
      Totally not the intention.

      Regardless, holy shit this is well done. I feel tense, I feel nervous about how it's going to play out. And most of all, I am curious beyond all belief.

      It's like playing the game again. It's not scary, but it's startling and builds suspense so well. You write almost exactly as Wake wrote, and you have good things going; the hat at the end, the Fitzgerald quote (which probably gives some insight into why writes like killing/hurting Dash, or something), and the prose is just descriptive enough while keeping action at the forefront of events.

      I knew the second Twilight gave the pendant to Fluttershy that Dash was going to probably sacrifice herself. Yet it still played out so perfectly and not exactly as I expected. That line about the third rainboom happens to also be an exact line in a story I had I think, haha. I don't see it in many stories, not sure why. But it was done perfectly, and not cliche. I almost expected a cliche, but the last three paragraphs of 10 were perfect still.

      Goddamn keep going.

      ReplyDelete
    49. Had a feeling Wake would be inserted into the story...that was before I went and rented Alan Wake.

      Can't wait to see the next (and sadly probably the last) update.

      ReplyDelete
    50. There had better be Taken versions of the mane six who "went missing" in the finale. That would be epic, seeing them fight our heroes (if any are remaining, dang you confusing cliffhangers!!).

      ReplyDelete
    51. Pen Stroke, I can honestly say if I could reach through this computer and shake your hand, I would in a heart beat. I've been a Alan Wake fan since I brought it home to play the day it came out. Now you have brought the two greatest things ever to create this masterpiece, deserving of only the highest praise. You sir are as great a writer as Alan could ever be.

      This cliffhanger you left us on in chapter 10 left me speachless and will probably drive me to the edge of insanity until you finish the gripping conclusion. We'll just have to wait and see how this all will end.

      ReplyDelete
    52. This is probally the end... For this chapter
      Right?

      ReplyDelete
    53. Goddamn!

      That cliffhanger. You enjoy jerking us around don't ya?

      ReplyDelete
    54. *looks at tags a sighs a relief when it says it's still incomplete* It's alright guys its gonna keep going!
      *Author changes tag to complete then a day later uploads a chapter*
      FUUUUUUUUUU

      ReplyDelete
    55. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

      Now I have to read this

      Like really right now

      but i'm busy

      fuck my life

      ReplyDelete
    56. *read chapter 11*
      YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSS
      YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

      ReplyDelete
    57. And then this became one of my top five favorite fictions in the fandom.

      Goddamnit this is so well done. I'll... try to make a critique tomorrow. But it's hard.

      ReplyDelete
    58. oh you magnificent bastard you
      it was great
      the whole thing
      simply amazing
      6 stars, up there as one of my favorite fics!

      ReplyDelete
    59. Why, you bastard? Why did you have to end this? It was soooo good, I almost cried at the ending. Darn you and your stupid ending, 'cause I didn't want it to end. Arrghhh, great job!

      ReplyDelete
    60. Oh my gosh this was my favorite fic. An epic of enormous proportions.

      ReplyDelete
    61. Oh my God DAT ENDING. DAT ENDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.

      ReplyDelete
    62. I wish it hadn't ended too but I know it had to. XD

      ReplyDelete
    63. Oh my God this story needs six stars like I need a happy ending for everyone. It also needs someone to do an EPIC VOICE RECORDING of the story. It would be best done in Alan Wake's voice actor though.

      ReplyDelete
    64. I think we call up Alan Wake's VA and see if he will read this for us. Be pretty exciting, dontcha think? Also I think a fanimation and video game are a requirement here, just sayin'.

      Anyways, this story was amazing and just seemed canon with the games story. It just feels like it could of happened, but that's probably because the author was awesome enough to be able to write in the same fashion Remedy used for Alan Wake. I love this story and it's probably top, um say, 2 on my list.

      ReplyDelete
    65. OH MY GOD HOW DO WE CONTACT ALAN WAKE'S VOICE ACTOR? D:

      ReplyDelete
    66. And I don't know what it would consist of, but sequel please? ._.

      ReplyDelete
    67. Very, VERY good ending. Tying up loose ends, while having a hopeful outlook on the future, it felt like I was reading the ending for The Shining again! And yes, if someone here, SOMEHOW got Alan Wake's voice actor to agree to read this story and not do it with a tone of boredom and sarcasm, I'll gladly pitch in a good amount of money to pay the man. I just can't get over how good it was!

      ReplyDelete
    68. Anon from a little bit earlier here. Sad to say, I was unable to find a way to contact Wake's VA, Matthew Porretta.

      ReplyDelete
    69. @Anonymous

      It's alright, thanks for trying. :)

      ReplyDelete
    70. Awwww Nyx was freaking adorable

      ReplyDelete
    71. Dawww...can nyx be canon? you know what im not even asking anymore thats what were doing!

      ReplyDelete
    72. And then Nyx made me daw. That was a great story.

      ReplyDelete
    73. Daawwwwwnnn....

      DANG-IT Now I want to Alan Wake... Good thing I just bought a 360. :D

      ReplyDelete
    74. Firstly, I want to thank everyone that read, commented, and/or rated Creeping Darkness. I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the story.

      Now, it's time for some reader feedback. Truth be told, I've fallen for little Nyx, and am currently debating doing so more writing with her as the focus.

      The question in wrestling with at the moment, however, is should this new story be a side-sequel to Creeping Darkness or a new, stand-alone story? And by stand alone, I mean I would basically take my idea of Nyx and form a completely unrelated story around her.

      So, to those who actually pay attention to these comments, any thoughts?

      ReplyDelete
    75. Bravo! That was a brilliant ending!

      ReplyDelete
    76. Ohh.I want to know what happened between myself and Nyx.How the others reacted.What happened since then,that sort of stuff.
      Please please please add a second Epilogue.

      ReplyDelete
    77. Really beginning to wonder why this story hasn't earned six stars.

      Congratulations on finishing this story! And thank you for writing it! (okay, that was lame, even so reading this fic was a real treat)

      ReplyDelete
    78. I just finished reading the last chapters and I have to say Pen I...I...I think I cried a little. I would just like to thank you so much for this, for all of this. I would have never thought that a Alan wake crossover would be the greatest thing I've ever read. So once again from me and many others thank you.

      ReplyDelete
    79. I just saw your comment above Pen and I too fell for Nyx. As for a new story for her, personally I would like to see a side-sequel mostly because of the relationship now between Twilight and Nyx but im confident what ever you choose it'll be fantastic.

      ReplyDelete
    80. I read all of this in one sitting, tonight. That was so good, I find it a little harder to breathe than before. You took a mind-boggling idea for a cross-over and made it work flawlessly. How do all you writers keep DOING THAT?

      (Nyx is also adorable. Perhaps a one-shot glimpse into her near-future? Maybe.)

      ReplyDelete
    81. GAH! That was one of the greatest things I've ever read. I can honestly say I've never been more captivated by writing than I was during those last couple of chapters. Additionally, you've perfectly captured the writing style of Alan Wake.

      I'm just a little sad that it's over. :(

      ReplyDelete
    82. Wow. Pretty awesome. And unexpectedly fast written and completed.

      Most enjoyable.

      @Pen

      Currently I guess most people would like to see a side sequel more instead of a stand alone. Probably because it would be easier to simply go along with it that way.

      Though a stand alone would certainly be also interresting.
      And now I am realy wondering how the mother (not Twilight) would react to this.

      ReplyDelete
    83. I found the official fanpage of the Alan Wake voice actor. Perhaps we can contact him that way:
      http://www.ldynwaitin.com/matthew/

      ReplyDelete
    84. Make a new story about Nyx i love her <3

      ReplyDelete
    85. Awww, what a sweet ending. I can see Twilight and Nyx right before my inner eye now. I´m normaly not int horror stories, but this one was great. Maybe we will read more of Nyx and Twi.

      ReplyDelete
    86. Amazing ending to an amazing story though i never played alan wake i loved the whole story and the happy end made me happy!

      ReplyDelete
    87. Love Alan Wake.
      Love this story.
      Easily the best MLP fanfic I've read. I really like how you made it a sequel to the game and not just a replace-character-with-pony thing, it keeps the suspense up. I'm sad it's over and that I can only read it for the first time once.
      I actually got a 17 year old dude to watch MLP:FIM because of this story.
      --Mousesquisher

      ReplyDelete
    88. @Pen Stroke

      Totally liking the idea of a side story. The chronicles of Nyx or something of the like.

      That being said, I enjoyed this story more than I should have, being that I never played Alan Wake before. It made the whole experience unique. Sprinkle in ponies and that'll make the experience uniquely amazing.

      Always heart warming to see a happy ending in a grim dark story. Totally laughed at the idea of CPR on a pony.

      Anyways, hope ya write more soon. Cheers

      ReplyDelete
    89. Pen, I want you to do what you think you could do a better job of. If you think you can do a better job with an unrelated story, then do that, but if you can somehow intertwine it into this and make it really good, then do that. I would love to see what you do.

      ReplyDelete
    90. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    91. Although in all honesty I'd rather have a story that is a side sequel.

      ReplyDelete
    92. I'm overflowing with so many emotions after reading that story. Going in I had no idea it would be so wonderfully engrossing. I don't read many horror stories and I never played Alan Wake, but you hooked me in with this exciting story. Thank you so much for writing it.

      ReplyDelete
    93. That was just unbelievably awesome! I read it all in one sitting, and loved it!

      ReplyDelete
    94. this story was AWESOME loved it i also really like the character Nyx any chance of including her in future stories because that would be great i think her character has potential

      ReplyDelete
    95. Batty Gloom here and if you don't mind, here is an official answer from the pegasus that's acting as editor and pre-reader to Pen Stroke.

      So he had a bit of a brainwave. There he was, writing an adorable character, and he thought to himself "Yeah, she's cute, but what can I do to make her better?"

      ReplyDelete
    96. Batty Gloom here and if you don't mind, here is an official answer from the pegasus that's acting as editor and pre-reader to Pen Stroke.

      So he had a bit of a brainwave. There he was, writing an adorable character, and he thought to himself "Yeah, she's cute, but what's missing? What is missing?" And he thought to himself a story that explores Nyx as a fully developed character.

      It's still a work in progress, don't judge him yet. But eventually he'd like to make a story that has an original origin for Nyx that will stand up on its own merits, having Nyx being dynamic. That's what he's aiming for. But, you know, small steps.

      Oh, and don't bother trying to ask for more information, because it's impossible, okay? I thought of everything.

      ReplyDelete
    97. I gotta say, when I saw this I had no idea what it was. I heard of the game Alan Wake, but never really saw anything of it. After reading this, I had absolutely not choice but to go out and buy the game and two DLC's for it. It was amazing, and this story was just as good! You did a very good job blending the two topics.

      ReplyDelete
    98. @Batty Gloom

      That Wheatley reference... you are officially awesome. :D

      ReplyDelete
    99. I've never played Alan Wake. But I read this story in one shot, and I absolutely. Freaking. LOVED it. I mean, this is seriously the most gripping, heart-tugging, thrill-inducing tale I've seen from this fandom, ever. If it was a novel I'd buy it and tell everyone else to do the same. Pen Stroke has once again proven himself as a gifted writer.

      And that ending... you brought so many tears to my eyes that I almost had trouble seeing. Manly tears of joy. You killed my favorite pony - and then brought her back! And redeemed the evil one, and brought HER back! And it all MADE SENSE! Truly an epic feat.

      If you write a spinoff or sequel about Nyx, I will read it with great anticipation. Until then, I am glad you decided to take up the pen.

      ReplyDelete
    100. Just finished reading this and... woah. I feel sorry for Alan, but at least he got his hope spot through what he did. And poor sweet Nyx. Who though you'd believably redeem HER, of all ponies?

      Six stars, easy!

      ~Ardashir

      ReplyDelete
    101. Hey there pony fans. Did you like Creeping Darkness? Did you find Nyx an adorable little filly you wish to see more off.

      Well then do I have good news for you. Nyx/Nightmare Moon inspired her own completely separate story with concept art in the newly posted story Past Sins.

      So go on and enjoy some filly Nightmare Moon goodness.

      ReplyDelete
    102. Oooh, this was fantastic! I read Past Sins and saw this mentioned, and I figured I should read it too. Not normally a fan of horror, but this was so well written! And yeah, you believably redeemed Nightmare Moon. Not easy to do that with a villain.

      ReplyDelete
    103. I first read Past Sins and saw in the comments that Nyx originated here so tried this story out too. Well worth the time spent reading it. I think the characterization of Alan was a bit off, he should have been more of a jerk, but other then that I thought the story was great. I mean, I was mostly in it for Nyx, but the way this story used the whole Alan Wake crazy meta "horror story about being trapped in a horror story" was really interesting.

      I'd kinda want to see Alan explain this adventure to Alice and Barry. Barry would probably think the ponies would be marketable.

      ReplyDelete
    104. *performs Twilight Sparkle style yes-storm*
      THAT was a great ending! More stories should end like this!

      Well, what else could be expected from the author of Better Living Through Science and Ponies, another truly great story with an equally great ending?
      Pen Stroke, if you read this, please keep writing these wonderful happy endings for your stories, a bad ending always, ALWAYS ruins the entire story for me.
      It's like, what was I even reading all this shit for when the characters just die in the end? I don't have to experience this here, so thank you! Thank you for writing a worthwhile story!

      ReplyDelete
    105. @theuncalledfor

      Trust me, I hate sad endings to. Never finished the Sword of Shannarah fantasy series because of how the second book ended. It was bitter-sweet, but way to much bitter for the little bit of sweet.

      So, ya, I like the happy endings too.

      ReplyDelete
    106. This was amazing and really well done, and as a fan of the game I can't say i was disappointed. It kept me at the edge of my seat and I loved the ending. 6 stars guaranteed.

      ReplyDelete
    107. This works as a Horror novella without taking the cheap way out ("Cupcakes" splatterporn, anyone). Not familiar with Alan Wake, but the building horror up to the climax (with Alan both responsible for initiating it and unsuccessfully trying to stop it) just keeps it driving for the cliff and not stopping. I have sent the link to my writing partner, as he is a big horror aficionado.

      Including Alan's impression ("Nightmare Moon? Sounds like a villain from a children's cartoon") at the beginning giving way to "Those little ponies gave me back my hope."

      I wonder if anybody noticed the (probably unintentional) echoes of Medieval Christian symbolism in the story?

      1) The Dark Place as an archetype of Hell. Specifically, the same archetype Prof. Tolkien used in the Silmarillion -- "The Void". The All-Consuming Void. And how it Consumed Nightmare Moon after she split off and discarded Nyx. Turns out Nyx -- the only part of Luna remaining in NM -- was all that was keeping NM from being devoured and digested by the Dark.

      2) In Medieval belief, the Unicorn was called "Christ's Horse" and symbolized Purity. And here we have two prominent Unicorns -- Twi and Nyx. (Nyx is one of the most endearing OCs I've ever come across; I'm still bent out of shape over what's happening to her in "Past Sins".)

      3) A "Harrowing of Hell" scene halfway through, where Twi goes deeper and deeper into the Dark and finds Nyx, Descending into Hell and Setting the Captive Free.

      4) Nyx's two acts of self-sacrifice.

      The first when Dark/NM is trampling Twi to death and Nyx just charges. Her sacrifice -- her light -- burns out the Dark Presence in the shell of NM and since NM has been digested by the Dark, all that is left to fill the now-empty body is Nyx.

      The second is when Nyx sacrifices herself for Twi's Resurrection. Willing to give up everything in exchange so Twi can live again. And in the end, Nyx is also Resurrected, "born again" as a little foal. (Luna's little/twin sister?)

      Again, as Alan Wake found out at the end, there is a LOT of Depth in these little ponies.

      Headless Unicorn Guy

      ReplyDelete
    108. This is the most powerful story I've read in a little while. Fantastic characterization. I give it five stars, a sun and a full moon.

      And now I'm on to Past Sins, the sequel. (Kind of, I think).

      ReplyDelete
    109. I was brought here originally from reading Past Sins, considering that's on pause for another week and I had read Nyx's beginnings started elsewhere- namely, here. I was a little critical going in since I have no knowledge of Alan Wake, and I was mostly in it for Nyx. I wasn't disappointed. I'm not a grimdark fan in the slightest, but this story walked the tightrope of grimlight masterfully. It flirts with hopelessness, but never courts it.

      The writing earns its 6-star status with every typed word. The characters are true to themselves. The events unfold in a believable way. This is the sort of thing with the weight of Tolkien that could be remade into a 2-hour movie. Thoughtful, philosophical, deep, thrilling, and a lesson at the end.

      Bravo!

      ReplyDelete
    110. 6-stars

      oh and the writer must pay for what he put these ponys trough... just saying

      ReplyDelete
    111. Wait, Nyx is in this story?! The greatest OC pony to ever exist?!

      *prepares to read*

      ReplyDelete
    112. This was the first fan fiction I read on here a while back, and even now it is my favorite. As a tremendous fan of the game, I was a bit skeptical about bringing in ponies. I never would have imagined how flawlessly the two universes could combine. It is every bit as suspenseful and gripping as the game, a force of fear and hopelessness which parades the reader through its intense sequences, mercilessly. A TRUE horror, not a sorry slasher excuse. It's that wonderful flow of terror, story, and emotion which makes the story an amazing, satisfying adventure. Thank you.

      ReplyDelete
    113. Well this is a nice little crossover. Blended well, consitering the clashing moods. Personally with Alan Wake in control for so long, and knowing exacly what was going on at all times, I found this less of a Horror fic, and more of an emotionaly charged struggle between Alan, the Ponies and the Darkness. I knew what was going on, so I was never terrified. But watching Alan Wake constantly torture himself trying to balance his needs and desires with those of the cast with those of the darkness was easily the Juiciest part of the fic. After Wake 'died' their was a lot less of this "balance the scales" cold, hard decision makeing and emotional consequences stuff, which wasn't bad just not quite as interesting. Over all I found it an enjoyable little fic that excels at character interactio-

      NYX!?!

      ReplyDelete
    114. oh. hey, another pen stroke fic
      judging by his BEYOND GODLIKE writing skills thus far, this one should- NYX?????

      *reads entire thing twice in one go*

      ReplyDelete
    115. I'm gonna be honest Pen Stroke, I pretty much read this cause I heard this is where Nyx originated. Wasn't sure if I would like it or not. I loved it. Loved everything about it. Wish I had read it earlier so I could've been even more excited for Past Sins! Never played Alan Wake but I didn't feel lost when the game and its characters were referenced. Nice job.

      I was a little confused in Past Sins in the last few chapters with the idea of Nyx still being Nightmare Moon or not. This fic summed it up perfectly. Long live baby Nightmare Moon!

      Rock on my fellow Brony!

      ReplyDelete
    116. Hey, I think this looks good but I don't want to read it if any of the Mane 6 are permanently killed in it. Can someone spoil that part for me please?

      ReplyDelete
    117. @DPV111

      *SPOILER*
      No pony dies permanently
      Story has happy ending
      *SPOILER END*

      ReplyDelete
    118. I suppose i'm the opposite. I read this after finishing Alan Wake, not even EXPECTING Nyx to appear. Was a nice little thing, and I now see where the idea for Past Sins came from.

      ReplyDelete
    119. Oh right! I forgot one thing, criticisms! While it certainly deserves that 6 star status, I do have a few things to say. While you get the atmosphere for Alan Wake damn near perfect...something feels off, and I can't quite place it. Nothing big though, I wouldn't have even noticed if the game weren't so fresh in my mind. Also, Alan himself felt off, he wasn't nearly enough of a jerkass. I'd imagine him going off on Dash from the get-go honestly. But still damn good story.

      ReplyDelete
    120. First time i comment a story here. I gotta say i liked that story, good pacing, interesting switch with alan being both character and narrator. The mood was good most of the time, the only spot i found cheesy was "lets split up" in the park. When did spliting up ever went without problems?

      I totally had a thing in my eyes at the end of the story, honest.

      ReplyDelete
    121. Came to this story because I ran out of Past Sins to read and I was curious as to how Nyx the character originated. I was not disappointed.

      I think I might be figuring out what it is that makes Pen Stroke's writing seem so awesome to me. He's the master of GrimLight. He carefully crafts the mood of his stories (or at least this and Past Sins) so that feelings of hope and despair are simultaeneously omnipresent. While one of these competing threads may swell in a scene, the other does not entirely vanish.

      Also, dat ending was d'aww-tastic!

      >Starts to wonder if Pen Stroke and Batty Gloom are capable of not writing a star-6 story every time they collaborate.

      ReplyDelete
    122. D'awwww, Nyx is so awesome!

      I loved the ending, and the story itself was very well done, considering I have never played "Alan Wake", and merely getting my reference material from watching a few game walkthroughs.

      Hopefully there shall be more of the Nyx-Twilight dynamic in the future! I must say, having Twilight acting as a motherly figure to Nyx is beyond d'awww!

      ReplyDelete
    123. I don't believe there is anything I can say about it except this.

      ReplyDelete
    124. I'm gonna have to play the game to get this, arn't I?

      Oh well, see you in a month *sigh*

      ReplyDelete
    125. This story was amazing! I'm super happy that I found it. Past Sins is one of my favorite fics and now that I've gotten to see Nyx's origins I love it even more.

      ReplyDelete
    126. Gonna read this and probably love it...thank you bronies...you make life...better.

      ReplyDelete
    127. Heard about this being an Alternate Continuity to Past Sins. Wasn't disappointed in the story at all.

      I'd like to give the game a go after reading this, but it doesn't seem to be available in the Steam store. Curses.

      ReplyDelete
    128. @Roxor


      Unfortunately, Alan Wake is i think xbox 360 exclusive.... yeha, pretty sure... even though it was originally meant to be PC, but got swapped to xbox only, a couple months before release. but it is a good game, even if you watch it on youtube. well worth it.

      ReplyDelete
    129. OMFG MAN this was a good story you put my favorite game and new favorite show into one great story did you no that there is going to be a new Alan wake game soon?

      ReplyDelete
    130. I'm going to be blunt with this - I wasn't an EQD member at the time of Creeping Darkness and Past Sins, and so I missed the huge Nyx flurry and fanfare (for which I admit I'm disappointed). As such I'm reading up on this very late.

      With that said, I just finished Creeping Darkness, and I have to say it was an interesting experience. The story started off nice, got me drawn in, but I quickly became disheartened - I kept expecting it was supposed to be a horror story, but it only felt like an adventure one. I found myself a little disappointed with each passing chapter (partly because my pessimism was making me notice spelling and grammatical errors more which in turn fed my disappointment). By three quarters of the way through I was considering not reading Past Sins altogether.

      Nonetheless, I pushed on, and I'm glad I did. I got up to chapter thirteen, and... well, I dunno what it was, but something about the story took a definite turnaround for me. I eagerly read through the rest of it, and I can happily say, having just finished the Epilogue, that I am once again looking forward to reading Past Sins as I did when I began reading Creeping Darkness.

      Kudos to the great story! On to the sequel...

      ReplyDelete
    131. Никс - самая потрясающая пони, известная человеку! И НЕ ЕБЕТ!

      Nyx is the greatest pony human ever known! [email protected] YEAH!

      ReplyDelete
    132. Ok, I have a weird question.
      I read Past sins before I read this, Why? Cause I did not know this existed.
      When I got to the point with Nyx I was wondering how this would connect with past sins.
      So, now that I think about it, is past sins actually connected with this story?
      Cause if so, then why wouldn't anypony mention that they at least REMEMBER Nyx from this story?
      and I know its a weird thought, but everyone considers past sins to be the sequel to this, but I need to know for sure... Is it?

      ReplyDelete
    133. @Scary Scott

      The best way to think about it is Creeping Darkness inspired Past Sins. This was where Nyx was first developed, but the two aren't actually related. They just share a common character.

      ReplyDelete
    134. Very nice story. I'm not really into horror, but this was done perfectly, keeping a perfect balance between making things seem as bleak as possible and always allowing them one way out - only to have the one way out blocked and forcing some kind of desperate action. I've never played Alan Wake, so I was also very interested in the "balance" mechanic of the dark world and how it affected the development of the story.

      The story was good enough that it convinced me to check the Steam store for Alan Wake, although as someone further up observed it isn't there. If it ever gets added though, I'm definitely going to strongly consider it after reading this.

      Pen Stroke, I would like to inform you that I've now read three of your stories and rated all of them 5/5. Consider this your "You're doing it right, moar pls" message. :3

      ReplyDelete
    135. This is among the best fan fictions I have read. Because of this story, Alan wake is now my favorite game.

      ReplyDelete
    136. Well writhen. You have the pontesial to be a good wrighter.

      ReplyDelete
    137. I had just finished reading this earlier tonight, and all I can really say is that I'm shocked. I, in all honesty did not expect this story to turn out as well as it did. In fact, I wasn't even sure if I even wanted to read this. But I'm very glad I did. I actually felt like I was there with all of them sharing all of there fears and other emotions.

      ReplyDelete
    138. >XBOX 360 game Alan Wake
      >360 game

      Only the dead may know peace from this evil.

      ReplyDelete
    139. I'm coming in very late to this, I know, but I wanted to offer my own input. I remember starting this story when it was first released, really liking it, but then having my attention diverted to other things. I never played Alan Wake, but I knew enough about it to grasp the concepts.

      "Still," as the beginning word of the sentences was kind of overused. But you most likely fixed this word repetition at this point. Aside from that one problem, I'm very glad I got around to reading this again. Endings to stories are very tricky things, but you really nailed it. You meshed two universes well together, something that I will be trying to accomplish with a different universe soon enough.

      5/5. I'm looking forward to reading your other stories (when I get around to it).

      ReplyDelete
    140. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    141. I feel like a sequel to this fic is in order. Perhaps Mr. Scratch finds his way into Equestria and Alan has to help his pony friends once again to stop the Dark Presence.

      ReplyDelete
    142. I just have to say how much I love this story. I've never played Alan Wake, so once again, ponies got me to try something new.

      This story is great, and since in the end *SPOILERS*Alan Wake is still stuck in the Dark Place, *SPOILERS END* I think it'd be nice to write as him in other stories, in which the darkness tries to enter other worlds. I can't help but think of an Alan Wake/Dead Space crossover, with Alan commenting how much nicer Equestria is compared to the Ishimura, but I digress. Again, I love this story.

      ReplyDelete
    143. The story was fantastic! Beautifully written and masterfully ended. Alan himself would be proud of your exchange and balancing of give and take. Nyx is such a wonderful character and I was overjoyed when I discovered the stories of Twi's adoption of the little foal. I urge everyone to read past sins AFTER reading this gem of a story!

      ReplyDelete