[Human in Equestria][Sci-Fi] Human in Equestria, but apparently the opposite of what we normally see.
Author: Muppetz
Description: The Princesses find an alien creature barely clinging to life at the scene of a terrifying crash. Can the Combined Power of the Elements of Harmony save it, or more importantly, should they save it?
ARTICLE 2 Part 1
ARTICLE 2 Part 2
ARTICLE 2 Part 3
ARTICLE 2 Part 4
ARTICLE 2 Part 5
ARTICLE 2 Part 6
ARTICLE 2 Part 7
ARTICLE 2 Part 8
ARTICLE 2 Part 9
ARTICLE 2 Part 10
ARTICLE 2 Part 11
ARTICLE 2 Part 12
ARTICLE 2 Part 13
ARTICLE 2 Part 14
ARTICLE 2 Part 15
ARTICLE 2 Part 16 (New!)
Additional Tags: Long, Suspense, Philosophical, Adventure, Action
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504 comments:
I just wanted to say, that i Love you ...
ReplyDeletePLEASE MORE!!
I vote for sooner update.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Chaos Knux, it´s good enough. Just don´t stop it on a critical part, i hate cliffhangers... nah i don´t really, just makes me want more even more.
ReplyDeleteSooner update
Muppetz, I say that what you feel would be a good stopping point would be best... but then, I'm a patient pre-reader.
ReplyDeleteThe only difference between this story and a 5 star is that Seth hasn't updated the rating tag.
ReplyDeleteThis is really fun. Can't wait for more.
Ah Muppetz, you are such an interesting person. Also your fanfic is interesting as hell.
ReplyDeleteI have only ever found a single MLP fanfic that after reading it I actually cared about its update status or even if it would continue on at all. Muppetz, your story qualifys as number 2. So in teh spirit of fandom.
ReplyDelete"MOAR, OH SWEET MUPPETZ CAN I HAVE SOME MOAR"
Now with that out of the way, you have come up with a fantastic story and I do hope you continue on with this. I have to disagree with some of the other posters and say that Shane is an incredibly believeable character and easy to sympathize with. You've got a talent for this writing. Just don't let the staff sargent find out :3
My god I've posted a comment about my little pony fanfiction.
I just had a thought! What if he's waiting to see the luna episode before deciding how shes going to act in the next part?
ReplyDeleteHe had probably started the chapter before the episode announcement, but its a thought. :P
An unpolished version of Ch 4 is out, but the editor hasn't been through it yet so those with grammar pet peeves may want to hold off. If you dig a bit you can find it.
ReplyDeleteI'd post a link but I think I'll defer to the author.
P.S Muppetz you are evil, we're going to have to wait a while month for the next chapter aren't we >_<
@Shiralion
ReplyDeleteyes
@Shiralion
ReplyDeleteEditing is fun, but time consuming - but I got this chapter done!
AGH! Why did you end on such a cliffhanger?! I'm so ready for more, it's not even funny.
ReplyDeleteDid not like how the entire plot hinged on the humans being stupid...but I'm glad it's the humans being stupid IN-UNIVERSE, as opposed to bad plotting.
ReplyDelete@Cesco
ReplyDeleteAs a translator I feel your pain. Wasn't ragging on you at all man. Thanks for keeping Muppetz on the straight and narrow.
Also there better be a meeting between Shane and Twilight in the next chapter or there will be blood! <3
F*cking cliffhangers!
ReplyDelete@Reyemile
ReplyDeleteI did not intend to imply that the humans were stupid.
He admits to the princesses that he believes his presence endangers the fabric of reality. This was my allusion to Western philosophy. (The struggle to understand paradox.)
In the show there are several instances in which the ponies fail to find a logical explanation for events,( i.e Feeling Pinie keen)... and instead, choose to accept it as an ultimate truth rather than challenge the complex-
-This is a very eastern philosophy- (The embracing of paradox)
And in may modern circles it is considered to be the more (philosophically) advanced viewpoint
HOWEVER
Because East. Phi. chooses to embrace paradox rather than try to tackle and understand it. It is often less scientifically useful.
So in short i did that to illustrate two sides.
SHANE (Western philosophy)
-Technologically advanced, but Philosophically regressive (Science)
PONIES (eastern Philosophy)
-Technologically impaired, but Philosophically Advanced in their understanding of the world. (Magic)
So to the ponies Shane's fear of cosmic repercussions is seen as slightly unusual/amusing
@Muppetz
ReplyDeletePhysics V.S. Metaphysics
@Muppetz
ReplyDeleteI really don't get why people are thinking that Shane is 'stupid'. In effect his intellect is being compared to literal divinity. His misunderstanding is a plot device, not a character flaw. I've noticed a lot of comments on this and I really can't understand why people are getting hung up on this.
We've struggled since Plato on the nature of the universe & Paradox. Luna/Celestia have some inside knowledge of their own universe given that they are goddesses. It's no wonder they get things that others don't.
Am I missing something?
Will we get political conflict?
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping for political conflict.
@Sebiale
ReplyDeleteDon't know how much politics you can get from one single dude.
"The Free Market has spoken and IT WANTS PONY BLOOD. Scramble the Predator Drones."
ReplyDeleteLOL. Best Grimdark joke I've ever made on EQD.
Going into Chapter 4, I feel ambivalent about ARTICLE 2. I feel like it had one of the best Chapter 1's ever and one of the worst Chapter 2's ever.
Make no mistake, its that Chapter 1 that has this at near 6 stars and loads of comments raving about it. The beginning was so great because of the MYSTERY it had.....no other fic's pulled off "Top Secret" like Chapter 1 did (the anti-snitch spell? why has no-one else done this?) and I honestly would've loved it as a tragic one shot ending with Shane clapping himself.
So that Chapter 2.....I hated that shit lol....
People bitch about OC ponies, but devoting an entire chapter to exposition for a OC sci-fi universe? Ugh. No me gusta. The long wait between chapters only rubbed it in. Oh and all that mystery I mentioned? Jettisoned out a damn airlock. I feel like, instead of going through all that effort, why not just pick any existing Sci-fi universe and work from there. "What's this on the armor? 'N7'? What does that mean?" (and for the record, my Renegade FemShep would've sliced Twi's neck before leaping out the window bcuz she HAS NO FUCKS LEFT TO GIVE.)
Whelp, let's see wat part 4 has in store...
- omfg, will you bitch-ass royal guards quit acting like this naked peak human not-named-Bruce-Wayne is any kind of damn threat to this immortal flying killing machine that is your boss. STOP IT. I mean, let's think about this: a healthy, sound minded Celestia *should* be able to kick Wolverine's ass with little difficulty. Did you read what I just said? Wolverine. Fucking Wolverine. And I'm not just sayin that; I'm a vet of these hypothetical comic matchups. Thor kicks Tia's ass. Hulk takes some lumps, gets mad, and trashes Canterlot after kicking Tia's ass. Superman gets his powers from the fucking yellow sun, nuff said. But those telekinesis, flight, and sun powers are enough to trash Wolverine. Rant off.
ReplyDelete- Luna was ready to treat this marine like a pet hamster in Chapter 3. Even Tia was puttin on airs like she ain't know if this "thing" was sentient, nevermind that she rules over friggin sentient COWS. Oh and I love how Kind Old Celestia apparently runs her private dungeon slightly better than Abu Ghraib circa 2003. Yeah, I wasn't a huge fan of Chapter 3 either. It has the effect of making the Royal Sisters look like dicks.
- Well, this fic still has the compelling "I AM NOT FROM HERE" angle going for it.
- Hear that Shane? Youse a "enemy combatant", son!
- Wow, that's a record for tiniest Fluttershy font.
- "INB4 LUNA GETS A PERSONALITY AND MAKES MY FIC EFFECTIVELY IRRELEVANT" XD i'm personally hoping they make her simple and childlike. The bronyrage would be.....epic.
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteI'm half in with you on chapter 2, I think it covered a little bit too much of stuff that isn't really relevant to the reader and didn't go into more interaction between the crew. Yet the author does have to set the scene and give us some background and doesn't want to take too much time to do it. I think we all want to see more of Shane interacting with everyone's favorites but setup is important too and I'd rather he not rush it. It's a brutal thing to get right and I think Muppetz is doing a pretty good job all things considered.
As for the guards, eh, I think Muppetz was more going for that the guards really like their boss so they're over protective even THOUGH they are probably untouchable. You could interpret it as endearing rather than pedantic. At least from what I read I felt that there was more than just 'duty' between the guards (especially Aegis) and the princess. If anything rather than safety he's trying to 'protect' them from unpleasant things.
Also, Muppetz, I saw this while reading the edited chapter 4 and figured I'd leave it here for you:
Anonymous User 7380: WHY MUST IT END LIKE THIS
WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO
Honestly, I think the explanation was a little too drawn out, but at least the next chapter will pick up rather quickly!
ReplyDeletethe damn comments are so philosophical, yet with high value and criticism. good. But you dont list plotholes in a shipfic. Just imagine the missing parts up.
ReplyDeleteI luv dis storeh.
Yay part 4!
ReplyDeleteQuite the enjoyable read I must say.
ReplyDeleteit's ok. uhm, a small nitpick. if you're worried about universe-ending trouble in this kind of a situation, it's your MASS that is the problem, not your ... life. killing yourself solves nothing because your mass still exists in the universe.
ReplyDeleteadmittedly, the conservation of mass states that matter cannot be created or destroyed in the closed system we call the 'universe.' what defines that closed system? it could be more a 'multiversal' system (really just an expanded understanding of the universe itself), defined by these lifestreams and such. i suppose Celestia and them all will set this poor fellow straight.
uhm, why is there a Marine on a spaceship anyway? unless he's a pilot. is this a NASA mission? should be, especially with prototype hardware. that means lots of civilians, can't see the real need for military FTL ships. has there even been a Marine pilot in a shuttle mission? so many things that aren't yet explained. i hope they get explained, i'm confused.
i just don't get why offing yourself is even on the table with this guy, barring massive confusion about lots of various small things. which might be the case. still, that was ... odd and i hope the reasoning is put forward.
also, i take some exception to the statement 'the Navy's SOP is a joke.' we're all on the same team, my friend. a little late but i thought i'd put it out there.
I hate you so much Muppetz. DAMN CLIFFHANGER!
ReplyDeleteI think hes just extremely confused, and extremely desperate not to do any harm to the world he ended up in. He's not thinking logically, thus putting reason into the fact that his dead body still contained the law breaking mass wouldn't really work. He also has issue with how his actions will affects equestria's timeline.
ReplyDelete@Shiralion
ReplyDeleteI mean the political conflict that will come when the other nations learn there's a extraterrestrial (which he is, because is technically still from another planet, even if it's in a different universe). Imagine if an alien landed on earth--everyone and their mother would want to talk to him, for varying reasons.
Honest to God Muppetz, why must you make this so good? I have no complaints or criticisms.
ReplyDeleteOh, no! A cliffhanger! Why must you make me wait for another chapter?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, there were just a couple things I noticed when reading the edited version:
"'My name is Princess Celestia.'" -- I shouldn't think her name is princess, but rather her title. It might be better for her to say "'I am Princess Celestia.'"
"the two princesses who still clearly contemplated their conversation with the alien." -- I might sound better to say "the two princesses who were still clearly contemplating their conversation."
I reread the chapter to try to find a third thing I noticed, a phrase that had one clause in the wrong place, but I was unable to find it. I did notice a few minor issues though.
"'how the public are reacting to that little display earlier?'" -- Isn't public singular? which would make it "how the public is reacting"
"'I mean, weren’t all attempts transit a stream abandoned thousands of years ago?'" -- It's kind of awkwardly phrased.
"A split second they were thrown open with a surprising amount of force." -- I'm not sure if you meant to write "After a split second," or "A split second later."
@Sebiale
And yeah, that really reminds me of Left Hand of Darkness. Talk about extraterrestrial emissaries.
Man, I've only read the first two chapters and all I can say is: wow. This is an amazing story. Honestly, I didn't think it would work, but you made it work so well I'mma give you 6 stars right here (cause EqD will only allow me to "officially" rate it 5 stars)!
ReplyDeleteJob well done!
And don't sweat about your sergeant finding out. If he's reading this, he's probably a brony too!
Excellent work on the story, especially in the first chapter. You kept things mysterious and described the ponies' perspective very well, though personally I liked the limited amount of exposition you showed in the flashback for explaining things. Eagerly awaiting more.
ReplyDeleteThe only actual problems I've spotted are the typos. Nothing serious but occasionally confusing.
As an aside, are you writing a completely original sci-fi universe or are you modifying another/borrowing elements from others? I'm asking because 'slip' and the related term 'slipgate' are/sound decidedly Quake-ish terms and the only place I've heard the term 'lifestream' in is Final Fantasy VII.
Also as an aside, can any astrophysicists tell me if shouting about universe-ending impossibilities and paradoxes would be the way to react in that situation? I'm not really counting it as a problem against the fic but that worrying about the universe(s) getting upside down and destroyed just sounds decidedly unscientific and wrong way to approach the situation to my limited knowledge. Maybe it's just me, though.
@Stephen Cawking
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm just describing what my Chaotic Evil Renegade FemShep would probably do if she ran across such a scenario within the context of the games. She'd justify it by supposing that the guards applying desperate medical aid would buy her time. My Lawful Neutral Paragon MaleShep wouldn't do that. Hell, he'd probably treat Twi nicer than Shane did. (and if you're wondering why the FemShep has to be the psycho, its because Jennifer Hale handles the homicidal/genocidal dialogue with a chilling panache. But FWIW she didn't shoot Wrex. My MaleShep on the other hand didn't like his tone. C'est la vie. Where was I, again?)
No, I'm not fucking stupid, Mr. Cawking. I realize that a Chaotic Evil Shane wouldn't work in ARTICLE 2 for reasons too numerous to list. My observation about re-purposing an existing sci-fi universe was valid; I simply threw Mass Effect out there because it was the first franchise to pop in my head. And then I decided to toss in one of those assholish, mildly trollerific Grimdark jokes I'm so beloved around these parts for. I can't help it, said the scorpion. It's my nature.
@Shiralion
You're right, it wasn't AS bad as I remember. But when Chapter 1 is pretty much flawless and Chapter 2 is meh OC sci-fi and retread.....that's an epic buzzkill. I understand the "we need to leave" speech is crucial to the whole shebang. But if we're gonna get a glimpse inside the ship to start the chapter, IMHO it should be focused on say, Shane's friendships, instead of treknobabble engineering action.
The thing about the guards was just jokes. Its too ridiculous for me not to laugh at it. Really, if Barack Obama had Saiyan blood, a Green Lantern power ring, or crazy battle mage powers, would Secret Service still bother with all that exhausting security crap? I'm pretty sure they'd be like "Fuck it, enjoy the live sporting event Mr. President! We'll be at the bar down the street if you need anything." lolz
@Minalkra
ReplyDeleteSee? Lookit all that baggage that comes with making up a whole Sci-Fi universe just for this story! What the hell is the Department of Defense doing up there with that ship? They planning on killing Al Qaeda leaders with that FTL drive? All those classified DoD Space Shuttle missions were because they were launching spy satellites. Area 51 is where they test prototype aircraft. The Pentagon ain't touching this kind of shit with a 10 ft. pole unless space war with China over Mars is imminent or something.
@Stephen Cawking
They've kept him chained to a wall and pummeled him at semi-regular intervals. They're lucky he didn't spit blood in their faces.
And oh wow, you're right. He ummmmmmm didn't need to run away to commit suicide. Huh, that actually kinda seems like a gaping plot hole when you think about it.
Sure, there's the mass of his corpse but....its really kinda their problem at that point, y'know?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEk, ate my post.
ReplyDelete@mycutiemarkisagun
Yeah I'm with you all the way now Mycutie, it was good that he set the feel for the sci-fi aspect of it (letting us know how advanced humans had gotten) but Muppetz had missed the opportunity to show Shane's connection with his men/crew.
I totally see where you're coming from. I suppose the only difference is any politician (let alone any president) probably doesn't give much of a rat's ass about their guards where as I think we can safely say that Celestia is incredibly close to her subjects, guard or otherwise and that those who work most closely with her have unique relationships. Obama is powerful but Celestia/Luna are literal divinity and because she still cares despite her position that she inspires more than just duty but close relationships. Hence why while the guards may be like "We need to protect her," they do it not out of necessity or duty but because they care that something/someone so powerful would bother.
Because yeah, probably nothing short of large scale orbital bombardment would bother the sisters that much.
That being said, I can't think of any author I've waited for their update with any real enthusiasm for probably about 4-5 years.
ReplyDeleteMuppetz, you rock man, we may criticize, we may analyze but we do it because we love what you're putting out. Keep at it man.
@Hertzila
ReplyDeleteI'm drawing ideas from several different sources. One of my biggest is a book by Michael Crichton called "Sphere". I used A LOT of philosophy textbooks and articles on multiverse theory and time space.
"Slipspace" I stole from the "Halo" novels. (yes, I read the video game novels)
"Lifestreams" was the name that my thread picked. I had a couple picked out and they chose lifestreams. "Empyrean Web" I made up myself.
Aa far as the astrophysics go... I'll give it a shot.
I reference many different theories of the universe. (most of which are unproven)
A big one being Multiverse theory
And the problem with multiverse theory is this.
At a point in a theoretical wormhole there is a point called a "singularity" and the thing about singularities is that after that point, we have no idea what the other "world" will be like (if there even is one)
Once you pass the singularity, all physical laws may cease to exist.
Laws like gravity and conservation of matter.
Might not exist. We don't know.
I'll explain it as best I can in the fic.
There are many holes with the science, (for example any black hole singularity would crush any ship attempting to transit.)
But it's a work of fiction. Take it with a grain of salt people.
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, to an extent.
I would have much rather kept the mystery chp1 had,
but go back and read some of the early comments.
I got so many people telling me his actions were unjustified and that there was "NO REASON" for him to react the way he did.
I got a bit irritated.
So i threw them the answers a bit more...abruptly, than I would have liked.
also, Celestia > Hulk.
no contest.
The guards love their princess, and are sworn to protect her. I've taken a few oaths myself, so trust me when I say, Its a very serious commitment.
The guards do not know what this unknown creature is capable of. They reacted appropriately.
Always assume the worst.
Freaking awesome story man. love the HIE's "ramblings" and the development of the whole fic.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up dude!
Also, sssSSSSUUCK IT JOHN!
Loved that part XD
GOD DAMN, CELESTIA PUT THAT BITCH IN HER PLACE
ReplyDeleteAlso this was a very good read, please post another
I'm really enjoying this story
ReplyDeletePersonally, i have a weird thing for HiE fics...
Just wish there was not such a long wait between updates...
AWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
ReplyDeletetoo bad part 5 isnt here till AFTER episode 4
Goddamit...
Haha. FPS Russia reference. Nice.
ReplyDelete@P1rate
ReplyDeleteYou, sir, just won the game.
@Muppetz
ReplyDeleteOh you cannot say that and leave the rest of us hanging. Since you haven't even started on ch 5 yet (we understand why) you at least owe us that much to distract us from the fact that we must wait longer :(
@P1rate
ReplyDeleteO rly?? Dangit, where?!
I love that dude...
And Muppetz, thanks sooo much for making this fic. All I can say is: I hope you finish it!
Thanks again!
I say Luna canon personality is close to this fic's, my opinion, keep that in mind
ReplyDeleteYeah, canon luna is not that far from what you got in this fic. Maybe changing her wouldn´t be so hard.
ReplyDeleteEh, who cares if he changes her at all.
ReplyDeleteAHH
ReplyDeleteWILL A FIFTH CHAPTER EVER COME
Personality wise, cannon Luna fits into numerous ways fanfics portray her, so long as you didn't make her a shy, tearful bubbling child your fine.
ReplyDeleteOnly main difference is the use of the TRADITIONAL ROYAL CANTER-LOT VOICE, which you can circumnavigate quite easily by stating your fic takes place AFTER Nightmare Night
Despite the author's worries stated at the end of the most recent chapter, the depiction of Luna's personality here is one of the closest to canon I've seen in a fanfic. Then again, I don't read too many fanfics. But still, good for him on that point.
ReplyDeleteAlmost, what, 2 weeks without an update? Hnn, well, gotta wait i guess.
ReplyDelete@Freekles1245
ReplyDeleteSorry, Have been busy. Hoping to get something done this weekend.
I hate keeping you guys hanging but I have a lot of stuff to do.
I'm a full time college student, I have to PT every day, I have to report to an OSO, attend POOLE functions and all that good military stuff
Then I'm a full time college student and have to do loads of paperwork. Homework and studying.
Since I am essentially a civilian with heavy military commitments.
I'm a contracted officer candidate, which means I don't get paid while I'm not on base.
So I have to work a part time job to keep my bills paid.
Any free time I have then goes to sleeping or eating.
And whats left after that is ponies.
So that an just an idea of whats competing with my writing.
I'll get it out as soon as I can, but I'm sorry I have commitments that take priority.
@Muppetz So long you dont forget about us I'm fine with this, keep up the good work :)
ReplyDelete@Muppetz I didn´t mean to rush you. Take your time, we can wait as long as you find necessary to write a chapter. And, man, you´re busy...
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's technically philosophy if they have established, and well founded theories as well as empirical data on the foundations of the universe. This concept seems to be treated more a scientific theory and study rather than a question for philosophical inquiry, even if those lines are blurred every once in awhile i'm fairly sure it lands on the physics side of things.
ReplyDeleteThat, and I'm a little mad at Luna's lack of understanding towards Shane's position. There isn't any reason to believe that Shane's species had any ability to divine what would happen if they crossed boundaries between parallel universe (conversely, there's also no reason for Shane to believe, particularly, that that reality would cease to exist should he enter it) especially when you consider the fact that they don't have magic. But, at the same time, I could expect this kind of condescension from another human being for being ignorant... Maybe that's why I'm a bit irritated? Because I held Luna to a standard a bit higher than others? :X
In any case, meaningless quibbles and all. Good luck on the fiction, I'm very interested in how it turns out.
I don't think it's technically philosophy if they have established, and well founded theories as well as empirical data on the foundations of the universe. This concept seems to be treated more a scientific theory and study rather than a question for philosophical inquiry, even if those lines are blurred every once in awhile i'm fairly sure it lands on the physics side of things.
ReplyDeleteThat, and I'm a little mad at Luna's lack of empathy with Shane's understanding (or lack thereof) of the situation. There isn't any real reason for them to believe that Shane's genus ever developed any ability to divine the true nature of reality (they're sans magic, unlike the ponies), therefore there isn't any real reason for them to have fully developed theories behind the most fundamental physics of reality.
I can see the condescension (Or maybe it's just me?) coming from another human being in the face of ignorance, but not really Luna. But then again, maybe I'm just holding her to a few standards too high for being A- A pony, and B- A literal Goddess among ponies :/
In any case, meaningless quibbles aside, good luck on your fiction.
@Troy~Cow_Is_DeaD
ReplyDeleteI think it's a case of expectations from Luna's side. As Twilight explained the ability to move between universes has always been beyond the ponies (and I'm assuming Celestia and Luna here as well). So because of that they could have conceivably had high expectations and were surprised when that didn't match up to reality.
I took it more as shock than as lack of empathy. I mean they were expecting super advanced beings as part of traveling between worlds but since the whole thing was an accident they didn't have the knowledge to back up the action. Hence the divine ponies having unusual reactions.
BRONIES: Where's the new chapter? Where's the new chapter?
ReplyDeleteJOEY: Oh, you must be Muppetz's overly-demanding fan base. Don't worry, I'm sure he's very hard at work on new material. One chapter every six months ain't so bad, right?
BABY KURAMA: Update!
I can't wait for the next update, hope it comes soon
ReplyDeleteI hate to see so many people rushing him. It takes time to create a masterpiece! Personaly I'd like you to take all the time you need. I don't care if I have to wait another week, as long as you don't feel rushed or anything. This is my favorite fic. I can't stand all the shipping in the others.
ReplyDeletePart V has been started but
ReplyDeleteI have two mid terms this week, and also I have to submit my case study for review and write a research paper.
As soon as this week is over...deer season starts...also Skyrim comes out.
...but as soon as that stuff is over i'll get right back to writing. promise
@Muppetz Man that is one full schedule, but I'm in no rush and neither should you, so long as you don't forget about us squeaky fans *Squeak*
ReplyDeleteSO little time so much everything going on in life
ReplyDeleteMOAR!
ReplyDeletewe have spoken
Still here! Just waiting...
ReplyDeleteIn El-Harim there lived a man, a man with yellow eyes.
ReplyDeleteHe said to me, "Beware the whispers, for they whisper lies."
@Muppetz argggg... SKYRIM!!! if we have to wait till you finish with that, we'll be waiting till spring.. That game is sooo dam long.
ReplyDelete@Muppetz It's ok, we are...fine *twitch* with waiting...
ReplyDelete@Hivemind Haha, loved that
ReplyDeletefollowing in authors footsteps....
ReplyDeleteSkyrim....So much to do, so little time...
Muppetz there once was a man who could write a amazing story which everyone in the world cared abaut. they cared so much that they could wait for a long long time... really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really love this story and im exited abaut a update :)
ReplyDeleteThere is a sneak peak at the next chapter on my thread.
ReplyDeleteIts an UN-edited version. But the people in my thread usually get the story much earlier, then EqD
I like to get feedback and stuff before I post it here.
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/50383+50.html
But be warned. I HAS NOT been edited and is not official. Things may change but if your really desperate for any updates. Feel free to check it out.
just remember... UN-edited.
I must fight the urge to read the UN-edited version. Must not read... must not read... MUST NOT... f**k that.
ReplyDeletew00t love ya Muppetz glad to know your still on it
ReplyDelete<3
A little short compared to the other chapters, but still very good. Keep up the excelent work
ReplyDelete@Freekles1245 You know that was just a sneak preview right? Ah whatever. I just hope he doesn't go all "I must kill my way back home".
ReplyDeleteIt was good but I think you made Fluttershy's stare a little too, odd. Like it didn't feel so much like it is in the show, she was actually really messing with his mind, where when she used it it was a means to get animals to stop misbehaving.
ReplyDeleteJust my two cents, can't wait till it's out :D
@Hivemind Yeah i know. I´ll have to re-read when it comes out officialy in the hope some more stuff will have been added.
ReplyDeleteThis is truly an excellent story. I really enjoy it and I think you have a great talent to write. On one hand I want MOAR and more often but on the other hand I do understand the RL issues. Also it's always better to have quality (you already have it :) ) over quantity (I wish you could have that as well...).
ReplyDeleteIn short: keep up the good work!
Holy shiznits, another image!
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking of this thing yesterday, and how good it would've been if it wasn't abandoned! I definitely have some kind of power.
ReplyDelete"I HAS happened"
ReplyDeleteThat's either an amazing Freudian slip or a typo. :P
I suppose that's one valid interpretation of the Stare, although to me it has always been more of a tool to frighten others into obeying rather than any sort of mental control.
Well excuuuuuuse me, princess!
ReplyDeleteThe only Fanfic i read, i love this one
ReplyDelete, tis bloody amazing.
Dat image. Loved it, as aways.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work.
Worth the wait, as always :D
ReplyDeleteNice job :D
ReplyDeleteNow to crawl into the corner and wait some more :P
QQ chapter 5 was so short.
ReplyDeleteWas just going back through the chapters:
ReplyDeleteIs the "cutie mark" the girls see on him in chapter one some kind of military tattoo?
Something that no one besides Twilight Sparkles seems to have remarked on yet: they speak the same language. They also seem to have the same alphabet, although I can forgive the ponies not using whatever text it is we've seen them writing in the show with.
Man, I want to see what happens next!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read the next chapter, and that's exactly why it's so good, thank you for writing this so well and not just giving us what we want, because it's making this all the more better
ReplyDeletelol i swear to buddha i hate this universe's Princesses
ReplyDelete5 chapters in and this alabaster bitch still isn't completely sure whether the human has emotions? lololololwut
New chapter! Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!
ReplyDeleteA note on Celestia vs anything else:
ReplyDeleteThis is pure speculation and fanon. Pretty much what we know for certain that stands out from other Ponies in power-terms is two things: she is immortal (or at least REALLY long-lived) and she raises and sets the sun (and the moon, if she chose and maybe if Luna didn't object).
I should note immortality may not necessarily mean she can not be killed, it would merely mean that she can not die from natural causes.
Holy hell. This story is downright awesome, and I'm going to be overjoyed when the next part comes out. Muppetz, you're a boss!
ReplyDeletePlease visit the following link, as it will describe my reaction forthwith....
ReplyDeleteGood day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPmb0F00YPE&feature=related
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that the last 4 chapters are all just one day.
Chapter 5 takes place on the same day as Chapter 2.
So when your reading chapter 5...he still only woke up a few hours ago.
@Muppetz Oh, that's true. I've kinda lost the notion of time because of those huge gaps betwen each chapter (not that it's a problem). So chapter 5 takes place a few hours after he's taken to the dungeon, which happened a few minutes after he woke up. Things make more sense now.
ReplyDeleteJust a quick question, how long he's been uncontious? A week?
@Muppetz
ReplyDeleteMOAR.jpg
@Freekles1245
ReplyDeleteYeah.
Unconscious 6 days, woke up on the 7th. ...I think, I forget what I wrote.
I accidentally said chapter 2 in my last post. I meant three.
3-5 are all the same day.
My bad.
I'm loving this story, but I'm still seeing spelling errors, even after the supposed editing.
ReplyDelete@Muppetz Thanks brony
ReplyDeleteI like the edits. It flows a lot better now.
ReplyDeleteAlso much better choice on the analogy that Celestia uses.
"I think, for future reference, we need to assume that anything we put in his hooves, he’s going to try to use as a weapon." <--- I like the dry humor you give Luna. Not just here, but throughout the story. :D
ReplyDeleteAnother great chapter. Don't worry about the lack of "action"... it was really well written! The emotion and drama were just right. No good story is all action all the time. You did a great thing with this chapter. :)
The more I think about it, the more I can't help but believe Fluttershy and Shane's next meeting won't be pleasant.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine anyone taking the idea that there's someone around who can steal their will from them at all well. Fluttershy was kind of insulting about it too.
I'd really like it if either the Stare had some kind of serious downside beyond being outside of Fluttershy's control. Like if Shane runs the risk of dying from being exposed to it, or he can throw it off or at least resist it if he knows it's coming, or it just loses its effect over him with repeated use.
In the show, the Stare is kept from being OP because Fluttershy rarely needs it and she can't even control it. That doesn't seem to be applying here, so we need something extra, probably on Shane's end.
Sorry for the pointless comment, but I can't stand having an odd number of comments.
ReplyDeleteNow I have a nice even 320.
Moar, please. Moar.
ReplyDeleteKeeping the comments even for the author's sake :P
ReplyDeletegood chapter mate!
(what the hay happened to my previous comment?)
ReplyDeleteMuppetz does not like when the chapter comments' number ends with 9 :]. Let's make sure it stays this way so maybe he gets angry and posts a new chapter...
@Muppetz - we, your faithful readers, humbly demand the next chapter! please.................................
An even 324, that's better.
ReplyDeleteSo muppetz how is the next masterpiece coming up? :P
ReplyDeletefffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu
ReplyDeleteit should be done in a couple of days. I have to finish my case study and then write another paper. So like 4 days maybe until it's done. Maybe a week before edits are finished with it.
I'm ok with this, yeah, i can wait another week.
ReplyDeletew00t
ReplyDeleteYay!
ReplyDelete@Muppetz Alright, cool, it's easier to wait when there is an approximate timeframe.
ReplyDeleteOdd numbered comment time!
ReplyDeleteAlso oh god update in the works!
Time is coming... I hope
ReplyDeleteSeems like it cant come fast enough...
ReplyDeleteSir I want more
ReplyDeleteHoorah, I say!
ReplyDeleteGod dammit Muppetz..... Y U KEEP US WAITING?! D:
ReplyDelete@Onlinowiec
ReplyDeleteBecause of finals, term papers, work, and my editor is out of country with limited internet access. Worst case scenario, you guys have to wait till he's back stateside.
But I don't think it will come to that. He's very good about getting the chapters back to me quickly.
Sorry for the delay, I'm working as fast as I can.
Hey kids what time is it?
ReplyDeleteEVEN NUMBER COMMENTS TIME YAY
Oh cmon why such a hurry? no need to work fast man,the longer it takes the better it gets,also 10days earlier Merry Christmas everyone!
...Or should I say Merry Hearth's Warming Eve everypony?
@Raph0n
ReplyDeleteThat's funny I thought it was odd numbered time.
God so hard to wait.
A nice beautiful even 400. That's how many comments we need.
ReplyDeleteJokes aside, i hope the chapter comes out soon, all this waiting is starting to get boring. No mean to rush anyone though.
Even? What does mean?
ReplyDelete*looks it up in dictionary*
Oh that...
HAVE ALL OF MY STARS
ReplyDeleteWhy no updaet?
ReplyDeletewill wait forever until you say "I Quit"
ReplyDeleteI'm lovin this story, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas guys :3
ReplyDeleteMerry christmass
ReplyDeleteHave you a ponychan thread for the latest chapter?
Oh no wait, i found it
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/68725.html
MOAR!!! FEED ME MOAR!
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think bad things about holidays....... NONE of the stories I read get updated lately :(
ReplyDeleteI really hope it's only a temporary break.
I just read the non-proofread version on ponychan, and I believe the only proper response to this chapter is CURSE YOU SOPA!
ReplyDeleteJust read Part 6's WIP. You're all going to enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing I'm a grammarnazi, that thing had a good number of goofs I pointed out to Muppetz, so now it's even better!
Any idea when it will be uploaded?
ReplyDelete@P1rate
ReplyDeleteHe said maybe a few days to around two weeks until part 6 is finalised with edits and uploaded. The un-edited version is already up on ponychan's fic board but you have to search around for the link above
Ponychan thread with the unedited version
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/68725.html
(wont post direct link for muppetz sake)
YES! IT UPDATED!
ReplyDeleteScrew sleeping, time for ponies
I know it might be a bit early, but I have to ask - Are you going to post updates a bit faster now?
ReplyDeleteNo pressure, you know, just asking
Might want to watch the 'One one characters speech in each paragraph'
ReplyDeleteLatest chapter is littered with up to 3 characters per paragraph.
This is the greatest fic I've ever read (And I've read ALL of Fallout: Equestria). I enjoy well writen anything and this is just... Wow. I really like Shane's character; I am always thrilled to read his lines. I also enjoy your writting style - it feels nice.
ReplyDeleteMy only complaints are the more than one character speaks in a single paragraph.
I've read the whole thing twice over becasue How much I enjoy it. Please continue to be awesome!
- Your fan
Crushric
Can we seriously get a Five or Six Star rating on this. It's obviously fricking amazing and it's got a perfect 5-star rating. DO EEETTTT!!!
ReplyDeletea nice piece to read, well done Sir Muppetz keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteIt will never cease to amaze me how someone can take a sugar bowl filled with colorful cartoon ponies and turn it into something as serious and meaningful as this.
ReplyDeleteI was dying of laughter when Pinkie and Shane were arguing about peppermints! Great job, I can't wait for the next chapter!
ReplyDeleteBeen following this fic since chapter 2 and it's come a long way. I'm impressed.
ReplyDeleteAbout the latest chapter -
What I didn't like: The conversations of the ponies between themselves like when they were getting ready at breakfast. Dunno, just felt a bit boring and unnecessarily long. Might just be that I'm not really interesting in Rarity doing her hair. :p
What I did like: Pinkie pie. So often in fics you see pinkie reduced to "oh, she's just so random". You actually did her justice which was very nice to see. The two princesses, Twilight and Fluttershy were also very well done. I'm also loving Shane himself, looking forward to seeing what happens to him. He seems a lot more like an actual person rather than a caricature of humanity (you know, Evil Bad or Hero of Justice) that you usually get in a fic like this.
On the whole I wouldn't call this The Greatest Story Ever Told or anything like that but it is definitely good, refreshingly balanced and has some excellent characterisation.
Looking forward to more. Keep it up!
@Chapter 6
ReplyDeleteActually humanity is over seven billion at the moment, and since this seems to be a futuristic fic, then the number should be even higher.
I expected a bit more reaction from the statement as well, even at only six billion; I don't think Ponies have anywhere near those numbers, or even have that many sentients on their entire planet, it seems very sparsely populated.
@Sebiale
ReplyDeleteHe may have been referring to the population of the USA alone...
(lolno)
Anyway, loved the new chapter, I'm guessing a little slice of life before bringing more action and drama in again?
Anyway, reading on my phone I noticed a bunch of typos, maybe 5-6 or so, but being on my phone... not conducive to taking notes.
I like trains...
ReplyDeleteYou know i feel sorry for Muppetz, now that his story is getting even better people will be asking for more in 2 days ;3
love the end of chapter 4
ReplyDeletei mean chap 5
ReplyDelete@Reyemile
ReplyDeleteI am the best being on the planet for a first-contact situation such as this. Versed in all manner of scenarios; trusting no one immediately, but always appearing amiable when need be; able to give all sapient life equal respect, while not pulling any punches against those with malicious intent. And most importantly, unassuming enough to worm out true intent by cleverly worded conversations that sound quite innocuous at the time.
I am the supreme ambassador! (is also enormously arrogant) ;3
@Minalkra
ReplyDeleteActually, the discovery of dark energy seems to throw the conservation of mass in a closed universe out the window, as it is measurably increasing as the universe expands.
PLUS, trans-dimensional travel is a mechanism for mass-energy changes independent of the quantum physics within the individual universes. It would have absolutely no bearing on paradox formation. Simply having cross-dimensional travel work in the first place would violate more theoretical laws of physics than simply adding a miniscule amount of mass to a universe. If the travel alone doesn't instantly destroy the universes involved, then we can safely assume nothing apocalyptic is going to happen.
@Avi
ReplyDeleteAnd that is why people who go into space for long periods generally have to go through a really intense psychological examination, to ensure that they are very mentally stable and able to act rationally even in devastatingly terrifying situations. Kinda like Apollo 13.
With the technology involved here, the potential to encounter alien life forms in deep space/alternate dimensions, and the possibility of disaster should a weak-minded member of the crew insult a race capable of oh, asploding a star for instance, I can't see anyone with this level of irrational behavior (not to mention exceedingly poor tact) ever being allowed near an FTL craft.
Now, if he had some serious brain damage, that at least would explain things. But that would certainly have been detected by any magical medical analysis, and he would have held more carefully in confinement.
The story has simply too many logical inconsistencies. It's like "Avatar", with background flaws that make me incapable of even wanting to suspend my disbelief.
Actually, no. It's not nearly as bad as Avatar. I hated that movie alot, actually... it had plot holes the size of the event horizon of the Milky Way's central black hole's event horizon. The first of which being the central tenet that it's easier to send a guy to another planet and link his brain to an alien-hybrid body using all kind of implausible technology... but they can't manage to inexpensively repair severed spinal nerves? No... just... no. Central plot point epic fail.
That's one of the things they train people in the military to do: deal with strange situations. Often, they've lived all over the world, met all kinds of people, and have learned to have a fairly positive attitude about it all -- or at least to take it in stride. Anybody in an elite program is likely to be the kind of person who could be dropped naked in a manure pile and be found a few days later with a new outfit, weaponry, friends, a grill out going on, and a beer in hand. It's called "taking initiative".
ReplyDeleteI am quite enthralled with this series. In fact, I believe this is the second series I have ever given 5 stars to, so yay for you. I hope for this series to continue and or you to keep up the same level of skill in writing, unless you you become a better writer which to my own eyes would be quite a task.
ReplyDeleteIt took a long wait to get the chapter, but it was worth it. I very grinned at the statement of the *SPOILER*horse eating and the reaction *SPOILER* (it is be the way not that uncommon in central Europe to do it, but because that he is from the future, that might changed).
ReplyDeleteyou know a storys good when you finish reading a 16,000 word chapter and think ''it's over already?''
ReplyDeleteSHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
ReplyDeleteI dont care what other people say Muppetz, I'm really enjoying this fic, OC sci-fy universe and all. good job :D
ReplyDeleteoh, and now I can't wait for chap. 7 D: moar i say!
ReplyDeleteOh that Pinkie Pie, what a character.
ReplyDeleteIm so glad winter break gave me a chance to start reading fan-fics like this one again! I hope Chapter 7 come out soon!!! =D
ReplyDeletech. 6 reax,
ReplyDelete"You are correct in believing this is a dangerous creature, of that I have no doubt, he clearly has a talent for violence. But these are not reasons to keep him confined. He is not an animal, and continuing to keep him imprisoned based solely on the fact that he has the potential to harm somepony is cruel and barbaric."
FIN-ALL-Y, cot damn took ya long enough, "HURR DURR CAN THEY FEEL PAIN? LET'S FIND OUT LOL"
"The Princesses certainly knew how to treat their guests." lol i see....well done. Their dickishness is by design.
"Twilight never did take to the idea of being late for anything." oh DO TELL
"The act reminded Luna very much of a crossing guard escorting little school children across the street." ...there's CARS in this corner of the Equestrian Multiverse? :p
“So it’s like an oligarchy?” well, not really.........although in practice, yea kinda :(
"codependent relationship for several hundred" thousand. THOUSAND. AHEM.
Dude, Shane...."Most Elite Fighting Force in the World." That's all you needed to tell these ponies. They would kick the Wonderbolts' fucking ASS.
Hurting Fluttershy's feelings for teh WIN.
Theory: It is impossible to write Pinkie "wrong". Pinkie is best fanfic pony. And EVERYONE gets a kick out of writing her.
Best Chapter since the 1st!
One more awesome chapter. Can't wait for the next one. Royal dinner is on the way!
ReplyDeleteCan somebody tell me WHEN does a fanfic get a 5/6 star addition after it's name?
ReplyDeleteCuz i just checked and we HAVE 6 stars here
I forgot to mention, the new fan art is awesome. Congrats to the artist
ReplyDeleteThis is by far my favorite fic to read. Part 6 was fantastic. Im look forward to when the next one comes out in a month or so. Muppetz, you are an amazing writer. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHeheh. I kinda wanna see the ponies reactions to a reading from 'Hitch hikers Guide to the Galaxy' when they discuss human culture and literature. Maybe a copy of the novel survived the personal belongings of one of the crew in the crash. Have shane tell them about the animal waiter that WANTS to be eaten :p It'd be hilarious!
ReplyDelete@Onlinowiec
ReplyDeleteIf you mean when does a fic get 6 Starred:
A fic is tagged 6 star when it has 50+ comments, 50+ ratings, and an average rating of 4.9 stars.
If you are talking about the title header of teh fic in teh updates posts, that only gets put in if the poster feels like/remembers to.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteThis one's overqualified.
390 comments
470 ratings
5 full stars on the average rating display
@Chaos Knux
ReplyDeleteHate to break it to you, but hover your mouse over the stars. It's 4.8 stars.
I just wanna say that this was my very first pony fanfic. I came back, because it stuck with me. Well done sir. I applaud you.
ReplyDeleteI just wanna say that this was my very first pony fanfic. I came back, because it stuck with me. Well done sir. I applaud you.
ReplyDelete@General Patton
ReplyDeleteStatistically it's pretty much impossible to get a perfect 5.0 out of hundreds of votes, so I think they reward a 6-star rating on fics that are either 4.8+ or 4.9+. Because someone out there is going to vote 1 just because.
wish i could have all the chapters to read... I guess I will have to wait patiently... fml
ReplyDeleteMuppetz this is one of the best fics i have ever read (prob spelling fail) on my list of best fics you are 2th 1 TTEOAP.. 2 Article 2.. 3 Colonization.. i hope you will continue this awesome piece of writing and i hope you will enjoy writing it
ReplyDelete~SirGoldfish
Is there a way to contact the author directly?
ReplyDeleteOne mark of a really good story is that, when you're not reading it, it leaves you fantasizing about it, thinking about what you would wish to see the characters do. I found myself doing this very early on.
I haven't even finished the first chapter yet, and I'm having a blast. I love seeing our favorite ponies acting in-character while placed in situations that are significantly divorced from their normal existence. So far, this has delivered that with a few moments of added cute. (Twilight chewing on her mane! ^.^)
More than that, though, I found myself mentally expanding scenes. There were a few parts where I would have loved to see the story go a little farther.
I've been tempted to write one of those little expansions out to share it, but I know from my own experience that that's not always appreciated by the author (particularly if done on a public forum). So I was hoping to send a private message.
How you know you're truly great at writing fanfiction of ponies: Kkat, the author of the most-celebrated fanfic in the community, Fallout: Equestria, says you're good and wants to write side-stories before they've finished the first chapter.
ReplyDelete@Kkat his email is in part 6 aaaaallll the waaaaaaay dooooowwwnnnn
ReplyDeleteIf this story got props from Kkat, I'll have to check it out.
ReplyDeleteWhy is he a Marine? I would think that space and space travel would fall more suitably under the realms of the Air Force or NASA? I understand that the Marines are supposedly the best and all, but it doesn't make sense why they would pluck some leatherneck who barely knows how to fix a circuitboard and put him into one of the most (i would imagine) expensive projects ever, over an astronaut or if you need protection, an USAF serviceman?
ReplyDeleteMOAR
ReplyDelete@Kkat
ReplyDeleteWell, as soon as I'm done having a little fan-boy moment, I'd love to hear from you.
Shoot me an email any time.
[email protected]
@wadeuce
ReplyDeleteI'm getting to that.
@Stephen Cawking
That's actually pretty close.
Any idea when the chapter may come out? It just got very interesting and i can't wait for new stuff to read.
ReplyDeleteGo Muppetz!
I support Freekles1245's comment
ReplyDelete@Muppetz
ReplyDeleteSorry for the delay -- I know I haven't emailed you yet, but I wanted to read more of the story first. (And I am a tragically slow reader.) I've just finished Chapter 3.
This story is good! You've got me totally hooked.
@Kkat
ReplyDeleteONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US!
@Shiralion
ReplyDeleteShe wrote the ENTIRE Fallout Equestria series, all 40+ chapters of it. I'm pretty sure she was already one of us to begin with :p