• Story: Corona Blaze (Update Part 5!)

    [Adventure]


    Author: Benman
    Description: A crisis turns Princess Celestia into the tyrant Corona Blaze, and she calls forth everlasting day! With Twilight Sparkle missing, how can the other Elements of Harmony hope to put things right?
    Corona Blaze Part 1
    Corona Blaze Part 2
    Corona Blaze Part 3
    Corona Blaze Part 4
    Corona Blaze Part 5 (New!)

    Additional Tags: Suspense, Action, Drama, Struggle, Redemption

    64 comments:

    1. Very interesting concept. I'll be reading this one asap.

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    2. Easy, replace twilight with trixie!

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    3. O_O dude I was just joking in my other comment... and after looking at the tags, I didn't know it was for real! LOL! xD

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    4. Has there been a story like this before??? I don't think so... What the hell took so long?

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    5. Eternal day? Sounds like the other six months in Alaska.

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    6. Very interesting.. I was wondering how Celestia would "go evil" when she doesn't seem to have a wicked bone in her body; but twisting her protectiveness to be overbearing? That works for a villian, certainly.

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    7. ... Hm, normally I utterly hate things that paint Celestia as a tyrant, but...

      This works. The explanation for Nightmare Moon and Corona Blaze work. The reasons why they're sealed away make sense, and the reason Celestia had for giving in? That works as well.

      Alright Benman, I'm interested. We'll see where this goes.

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    8. WHATISTHISIDONTEVEN.

      My super long fic that ive been working on for a month and havnt submitted yet due to lack of editting...

      gah, *changes name of tyrant celestia for the 3rd time*

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    9. The inclusion of Trixie seemed a little tacked on to be honest. But okay, it's an interesting premise. We'll see how this goes.

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    10. Gosh dangit, I've been working on a story for months, and it's about...yup, tyrant Celestia (with "Corona" in her name, to boot D: ). Oh well, I'm still posting mine as-is, but I'll definitely check this story out, as well.

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    11. Want your story to be awesome? Add Great and Powerful Trixie!

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    12. Okay, the old castle was supposed to be the sister's first castle. And wasn't it supposed to have been abandoned just after Luna turned into Nightmare Moon?

      Setting that aside, why would Celestia need to "explore" or "search" a building she literally grew up in, or possibly even had built?

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    13. @Anonymous
      its possible shes never been in that specific chamber? magic dangerous to alicorns and all.

      im confident that the story will take care of all those loopholes in the future

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    14. Corona Blaze is the only psychotic alicorn dictator that's also a Corona!

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    15. A story about Celestia's tyrannical alter ego known as Corona Blaze?
      Sir, you have my attention.

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    16. uhm, i like the characterization of Celestial's alter-ego and the reason she let her out, though would Celestia threaten Equestria to save her student? uhm, but it's really well done.

      the Trixie thing. uhm, sorry. i don't like it. as much as i can see the mane six doing something like that in many other cases, i think the over-riding need in this case would, well, override their distrust of Trixie. uhm, she may be a braggart and a fool but she does know show business and that's what essentially a distraction is. but i'm sure they'll come around and Trixie will be welcomed and maybe taught a lesson on lying as well, becoming a better pony as a result. if that's what you're going for, i mean. uhm, sorry ...

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    17. I normally hate 'Tyrant Celestia' stories but without the Grimdark tag, combined with the implication that it was something external, I decided to give it a shot. Certainly interesting, though I agree that Trixie felt kinda tacked on unless she appears later too.

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    18. Corona blaze is just redundant and ugly for a name, empress solaria still sounds better.

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    19. Okay, Corona Blaze sounds a LOT better than the name I came up with, Eclipsor Sun

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    20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    21. A story about an evil Celestia that is not grimdark, this has my attention.

      I am liking it so far, the explanation of the primal side of alicorns and how Corona Blaze is the twisted prevention of Celestia's motherly nature, the same way Nightmare Moon was of Luna's desire to be loved and appreciated. I was surprised that the other ponies did not include Trixie in their plan. Trixie would make an excellent distraction, and keeping Corona Blaze distracted will help them. Maybe she will come in later and act as a distraction later (even though the others did not want it) and they realize that they should have been more forgiving of Trixie. She brought the group of refugees because only wanted to give ponies hope.

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    22. Overly Protective Princess Pony

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    23. Why do I have the nagging feeling that Trixie is going to sell them out?

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    24. Oh my gawd why is this so incomplete!?

      I normally don't like it when a character's dark side is made out to be an entirely separate character. But in this fic it's so much more complex than that and I can't help but love it!

      Needs at least 9000+ more chapters.

      Oh and I doubt this is the last the group has seen of Trixie. It's not hard to see why they have trouble trusting someone who seems to do nothing but lie, however Trix is probably going to tag along anyway.

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    25. This is looking very promising. I'm loving the idea of each princess having a dark, feral side (also, thank goodness my story has a completely different reason for Celestia being corrupted). I can't wait to see where this goes.

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    26. Dave Mustang, the cynical BronyJuly 11, 2011 at 2:57 PM

      Where did the whole Evil Celestia thing come from?

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    27. ...I really feel so bad right now... there goes my idea of a fic with Celestia's tyrant form. <:'(

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    28. @Dave Mustang

      Read Chapter 1, you silly!!

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    29. Dave Mustang, the cynical BronyJuly 11, 2011 at 6:29 PM

      @Anonymous
      I mean the story theme/meme itself.

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    30. Man, seems like every other thing lately reminds me of that scene from The Fellowship of the Ring where Galadriel goes a "voice of the legion" on Frodo. You know "AS BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN!" That bit.

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    31. Corona's brilliantly written. It's like Luna said, she just wanted to be loved when Nightmare Moon, what in the world will Corona do to make sure her ponies are protected?

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    32. @Shellsh0cker

      You know, come to think of it, I think this fic could use a better name; "Terrible as the Dawn" might work well.

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    33. @xscaralienx- Please write it! There are already several stories with this premise, and they're all different enough to be worth reading. I love seeing what different authors do when they start from similar places.

      @Dave Mustang- "Celestia as despot" has been a joke on ponychan since before I was a brony. I think The Sun Is Tired was the fic that made it a popular subject for more serious stories.

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    34. moar please. this is epic.

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    35. Considering there is no [SAD] tag I am pretty sure that it won´t happen but I kind of have this bittersweet ending in my head now where Luna stays trapped on the moon for the next 1000 years (or FOREVER).

      Something like:

      Twilight was eagerly looking at the center as the rainbow receded again to leave an alabaster white alicorn where it had raged only a moment ago. Throwing all demeanour and thought for class out of the window she rushed towards her personal mentor while shouting her name.
      "Princess Celestia!"
      Nuzzling her teacher as soon as she had reached her Twilight felt how the goddess shortly tensed up before opening her eyes and relaxing again.

      It had all been more of a haze for Celestia while she had let her more primal side take over to save Twilight. But she had known that her ever faithfull student would manage to save her somehow. Her ever gentlefull smile returned to her face once the alicorn had focused on the purple mare before her.
      "I had faith in you Twilight and as I am here now again it has not been misplaced. I must thank you so much for what you have done for me yet again."

      At this the purple unicorn couldn´t keep her bottled up feelings of fear and loss under controll anymore, having had no time to actually let the realization of all the past events sink in. She pushed herself closer to her mentor and let a single tear flow out of her left eye, softly murmuring Celestias name yet again.

      The princess didn´t mind this personall closeness at all and gently put her wings around Twilight to hug her closer as well for another minute and simply enjoying the sensation before opening her eyes again to take in her surroundings.
      She had no problem at all to recognise the five ponies infront of her, not counting the one she was still embracing. But there seemed to be something missing.
      "Say Twilight, where is my sister?"
      She felt the unicorns body go rock solid. Something was wrong.

      *cue explanation and more emotional breakdown, sry, out of time atm.... and I kept it short already*

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    36. >Empire Strikes Back quote

      YES. YES.

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    37. I do love Trixie's involvement in this - but poor Luna! I really enjoyed reading this, so I would love to see some more chapters soon!

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    38. Oh wow, my fanfic has fanfic. I think this means I win.

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    39. You know, it was fine and all, and I don't want to be the pretentious jerk who points out a nerdy detail in the canon, but Luna is my favorite, and so you have therefor crossed the line. Celestia can't just banish Luna to the moon, that took the Elements of Harmony, and since they are against Celestia, than it would be impossible, therefor you have slandered the canon and ruined your story in my eyes.
      No soup for you
      1 star

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    40. @Anonymous

      Probably has to do with the fact that she has amped-up powers due to her primal side.

      @Benman

      Gah, I can't wait to find out what happens next! Your story really has me on edge.

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    41. Hmm, just reading the first chapter, and it already felt like this story started on the wrong foot. I'm gonna continue reading, hopefully it will get better.

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    42. The first few chapters go way too fast. It would have been nice to actually have a buildup to it, not just "suddenly Celestia turns evil".

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    43. Trixie and Cobb's conflict was rather weak and...well, kinda stupid for just the reasons Trixie said (also implies that AJ is stretching the truth a bit for less then good motives.) Rings of manufactured rather than natural conflict.

      Most of the scenes are really lacking in set-up and context. Far too many things happen off-stage and between scenes, makes it read like a movie someone's nodding off during.

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    44. I liked how matter-of-factly Corona Blaze dispatched the pegasus who was loyal to Luna, it's good to see that like with Luna and Nightmare Moon, there's nothing of Celestia holding Corona Blaze back

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    45. Great job with the latest chapter. Nice change of pace from all the fighting and adventure, although I'm guessing the peace will be short lived for ponyville.

      Corona is a very interesting character. Hellbent on a bloodless rule, she had to be pushed very far to use violence against her guardsponies. Now they've forced her hand and she's become even more dangerous.

      Although making Braeburn captain is a bit silly. He's too reasonable.

      "Braeburn, call off you soldiers so we can restore the day-night cycle."

      "Oh okay."

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    46. @Anonymous

      have to agree that Cob's fight with Trix was kind of lackluster

      her friendship with RBD was well done though, playing on Dash's loyalty

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    47. Just finished the first four parts and have enjoyed it so far!!

      I was worried during the last chapter that everypony was taking
      things a little to easy upon their return to Ponyville.
      I was expecting to see Corona Blaze come crashing
      into the library screaming....

      I'll GET YOU, MY PRETTY, AND YOUR LITTLE DRAGON TOO!

      Looking forward to future updates.

      Thanks

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    48. Chapter 4 was so much more...mediocre... compared to the first three chapters, I's almost wonder if they were the same author.
      No idea what it is...just it seems so...I dunno...blasé.

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    49. I like it! I like all of it actually, except for Trixie's "romance" with what's-his-name. That feels a little tacked on. But otherwise, it's really nice.

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    50. This could probably be the most accurate depiction of Princess Luna I have yet to encounter.
      Of-course no one can truly be sure until Season 2 arrives, but somehow this representation of her seems ...natural.
      She acts in a strict and firm manner befitting a royalty, and her character even resembles what we've seen so far of Nightmare Moon, minus the psychosis of course.

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    51. Get part 5 done already (Don't reach out a unfinished product, take your time). I want to see what happens next

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    52. Its not the most flawless story I've ever read (there are some bits that really could use more setup than they are given), and some scenes do seem to be added to the pile of conflict purely for adding more conflict, but overall I like the concepts you are hashing out here.


      In particular, the Corona Blaze character is really interesting from how she has been written so far.

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    53. @TenchiFreak5

      Agreed. Tyrannical because she wants to protect everyone? Color me interested.

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    54. Corona's actions seem to conflict with her personality. If she executed an officer for failing to seize Luna even though that officer was horribly outnumbered and outgunned, then why not kill Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash while she had the chance and was clearly with her power to? With even one of the Elements gone, she would reign unopposed. It seems to be a blatant shielding of the protagonist on the authors part.

      Good story nonetheless, but this issue really stuck out in my mind whilst reading.

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    55. I do question the wisdom of leaving AJ to her own devices, likely she'll end up in Canterlot and then your back to the beginning minus a princess ally.

      Good to see more from the story it had been awhile.

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    56. Why did they go back to Ponyville? Did they think they'd be safe because no one would think they'd be dumb enough to go back?

      When I'm on the run from a crazed queen, the last place I go is home.

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    57. I get it now. The author let the mane six escape to quickly, so he made them stupid so they'd be recaptured.

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    58. Okay, so Braeburn the guard captain works better than I expected.

      Would have been nice to see more of the fight vs Big Mac though, he's just instantly KO'ed.

      I like how throughout all of this, the body count is still at 1.

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    59. >“It’s simple enough,” said Trixie. “I was performing in the village of Connecticolt

      >Connecticolt

      ...Oh wow. I came up with that FOREVER ago in the GitP Ponythread. Also, that is where I am from. That is so awesome.

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    60. The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor is enjoying this fanfic! One DEMANDS that you keep up the good work, or face the consequences!

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    61. The difference is that Dash and Fluttershy were fighting back and expecting it. The soldier wasnt.

      I quite enjoy this. Very well written. Needs more updates though, as all good fics do.

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    62. I really liked this one, shame that it seems dead =[

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    63. Why don't you make a chapter six? I've been waiting...

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