• Story: O 42 (Update Part 3.5!)


    [Grimdark][Shipping][Sad][Sci-Fi][Adventure] Sci-Fi that isn't a crossover?! Amazing!


    Author: Cat Eats Dog
    Description: A simple delivery mission leads to an all out fight for survival and the fate of the galaxy as a series of strangely coincidental events leads Twilight Sparkle to acquire the knowledge and friends she will need to try and save the day. But with the reemergence of an ancient evil and the formation of a new sinister army will friends and knowledge be enough?
    O 42

    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 3.5 |

    Additional Tags: Long, Space, War, Science, Technobabble

    69 comments:

    1. needs moar [Kkat Approved]

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    2. That's all but comedy, normal, and random tags. Looks like somepony's gone and raised the bar.

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    3. 5 different tags, that earns this story an automatic place in my top ten stories to read... Unless Past Sins or FO:E update, then everything goes on hold (including breathing)

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    4. Seems like a nod towards firefly. Oh and I love the 1337 speak strung throughout, very clever.

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    5. Can someone tell me if this is Twiluna? I would love to read some Twiluna, there's not enough of that out there!!

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    6. Holy what the Hell?!

      That's a lot of tags...

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    7. Will there be Orbital Friendship Cannons?

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    8. "LOTS OF TAGS"...... only 5

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    9. Looks interesting I think I will give it a read.

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    10. After reading the first two I take it that Grimdark, Shipping, Sad, and Adventure come later on.

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    11. I don't notice the tags, only the horrible punctuation. Seriously, the synopsis' run-on is big enough to crush a small car.

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    12. Commenting and basically spilling out my thoughts as I read.
      Tons eh? I'm guessing the freighter was designed with entering planets in mind. (side note: my frig can hold almost 76 times more mass than that silly freighter) Yep, planets.

      Reciting Pi? This reminds me of the Pi song.

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    13. I guess the OFCs will have to wait. Anyways, this is new and somewhat exciting. It needs a fair amount of editing though. No stars from me yet, gotta wait and see how this plays out.

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    14. Is this just mlp fim being set in the future, or have the mane 6 been alive for hundreds of years.
      Though pinkie pie doesnt recognise twilight so I guss it is the 1st one.

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    15. Interesting...although there are many awkward sentences and the present tense writing is rather jarring at first, I'm still enjoying this so far.

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    16. wow. I am liking this. for real.

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    17. Dangit, I didn't mean to read both chapters. And then want a third.

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    18. @TillsterRulz

      Yes, they will. The story I have planned may end up being quite long. Sorry.

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    19. @Anonymous

      Are we talking Yugo or Mini Cooper, here?

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    20. @Venddorfish

      "Flirting with infinity,
      Your geometric progeny
      That fit inside you oh so tight
      With triangles that feel so right..."

      - "Hard 'n Phirm - Pi"

      Sorry, about any annoying errors. I really am trying. Haven't written anything complete since fifth grade. Just goes to show that I should have gone to college or at least took a writing class.

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    21. @MetalGearSamus

      Believe it or not I used to write everything in Past Tense but after experimenting with Present Tense for so long, I now find Past Tense to be jarring. Perhaps it was all those times I was struck in the head.

      Glad you are enjoying it so far.

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    22. Seems a lot of ponies like the tags. However, as some of you pointed out, most of them have not taken place yet. This story will be LONG. The build up will be slow but I hope the middle and ending will more than make up for the wait.

      I welcome any and all criticism. Please, don't hold back. Be ruthless if you wish. This story isn't just an adventure for the Mane 6, it is an adventure for me as well. As they say: the journey is often more rewarding than the destination. I hope to learn much. I've been told I write like I talk...maybe that's the problem...

      I know present tense isn't the most popular form of writing. I can easily and comfortably read in any tense but after using Present Tense for so long I just don't feel comfortable writing any other way.

      To those who like it so far: Thank you! I'm glad. However, I ask for your patience. Being a bit of a gym rat, a gamer, and working two jobs doesn't afford me much free time in which I am not exhausted. The story will also be on hold until I finish my entry for the Luna contest.

      Oh, and cupcakes and muffins to those who noticed the nod to Firefly, the 1337 speak, and the Pi song. There are many more nods and parodies planned.

      ~ Cat Eats Dog...plays Catherine in nothing but his boxers.

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    23. [Grimdark][Shipping][Sad][Sci-Fi][Adventure]

      I think there might be too many tags for the health of the story ?

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    24. @Nova25

      To be honest that was one of my fears. That the story might seem like it doesn't know what it wants to be.

      I put "Grimdark" because there will be war, disturbing flash backs, and violent scenes.

      I put "Shipping" because it will happen though it may not be what anyone was expecting.

      I put "Sad" because sad scenes will occur but maybe I should have left that one out since the scenes most probably won't be tear inducing.

      "Sci-Fi" is obvious.

      And I put "Adventure" because they go traveling all around the known galaxy (and even some lesser known parts) which I equated to Adventuring across the world.

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    25. This is really cool please keep up the good work.Sci-Fi theme's plus Ponies is a good combination.

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    26. @Cat Eats Dog I like present tense, but always associate it with surreal horror. :) Anyways, gonna read this and then do a real comment later, but just wanted to say Good On Ya for starting writing again.

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    27. The series 2.0 so far.
      I like it! Keep it up!

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    28. This story need more tags.

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    29. After finally getting through the first two chapters, I'm very interested to see where this goes. Took me a bit to get a handle on exactly what was going on, but after that it's just been amazing. I can't wait for the next chapters.

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    30. Lovin' it so far. Always been a fan of the throw-the-reader-in-without-swimming-lessons style of world building, especially in sci-fi. When done right, it's immersive and still gives you all the info you need.

      What's been shown so far reminds me of the good parts of oldschool SF stories, and (of course) of Firefly. Great prose, fun scenes, and a novel take on the show. Anxiously awaiting the next installment. :)

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    31. OK, first thing I have to say is that the present tense narrative is driving me absolutely insane. Look, as the author it's your prerogative to narrate in the present tense if you wish, but as a reader I have to point out that all it does is distract me from the story, which is something I assume you'd rather avoid.

      That said, the premise was intriguing enough for me to read it anyway, and I generally like what you've got going here. Like several of the other commenters, I notice a very Firefly feel to the whole thing, and I really like that. I also agree with the anon above me that you're handling the worldbuilding quite well.

      One last thing: assuming you're planning on casting the ponies' respective pets in the roles of their "orb-bots," I beg you to contact BobCat and ask if you can use Baron Awesome. Please.

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    32. @Shellsh0cker

      First of all I just want to say thank you to all those who offered compliments and words of encouragement.

      Onward...

      Sorry for driving you insane. You're absolutely right, I don't want to distract from the story. That's also not the first time I've heard that said about present tense fiction.

      This story was initially rejected by the pre-readers for tense errors that I honestly didn't notice until they were pointed out. Herpaderp. This inspired me to abuse google in search of tips. However, what I found was mostly present tense bashing. So not only did I find out that present tense fiction is one of the most challenging forms of writing it's also one of the most despised.

      If you have the time please visit: http://preciseedit.wordpress.com/2009/02/22/writing-fiction-in-the-present-tense/

      The first comment left there pretty much sums up the majority of comments and opinions I have come across concerning present tense fiction.

      My goals here were to provide entertainment and a challenge to myself. What I didn't know was that not only was I burying myself but I was burying myself, packing the dirt down with a steamroller, and coating the top with a two foot thick layer of cement. Once again proving the single greatest constant in my life is my ability to make choices that leave me with my pants down. lol.

      I've also been working on an entry for the Happy Luna contest which I started in past tense... However, after reading the first few pages back to myself, I found it sounded very odd and, to me, it just didn't seem to work. I think that's due to the fact that I haven't used past tense in so long.

      Concerning this story, I honestly don't know how I should proceed...

      Also, I wasn't planning on actually including all of their pets, sorry. Thank you for reminding me about BobCat. I have a ton of fanfiction bookmarked that I simply must get to.

      In closing: Aside from the driving you insane part, I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so far. Thank you for the comment.

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    33. Oh dear, I have a feeling that, judging from the upcoming chapter names, Applejack's an oxygen farmer.

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    34. This is my new favorite fic! 6 stars

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    35. ilikewherethisisgoing.jpg

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    36. Latest chapter was quite good. Enjoyable world building structured around some nice interplay between the characters. I'm still enjoying the oldschool SF vibe I'm getting from this. Well done, again, and I eagerly await the release of the next chapter. :)

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    37. This is looking great so far! As the others have said, great world building. Plus, the subtle Portal references are hilarious!

      And I actually quite like the present tense; given most stories tend to be past tense and third person, it's refreshing to see things get shaken up a bit every now and then. If you're most comfortable writing that way, I don't see much need to change the narration style.

      Also, as far as spelling/grammar/punctuation errors go, I could go through and edit, if you wish.

      At any rate, keep up the great work! I eagerly await the next chapter.

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    38. @Overlong Analysis Cobalt

      Thank you for the compliment. I've been trying to evolve my writing style more and more. I changed my style a little more in chapter 3.5 and I think I finally got to where it is much easier for me. Chapter 3 took me about three weeks (not including the editing, revisions, and additions). Chapter 3.5 took me only five days and it is almost just as long as Chapter 3 (wasn't my intention, the .5 chapters where supposed to be shorter). So hopefully chapters will come sooner. There's still a bit I need to fix and change with 3.5.

      Also, Chapter 3.5 doesn't specifically focus on any of the Mane 6 (although it may provide some background on what Pinkie Pie had to deal with when she was young and under the tutelage of "The Doctor"). It's sort of a view of what's going on behind the scenes. All the .5 chapters will be like this, either behind the scenes views, flashbacks, or humorous scenes.

      Once again, Thank you for the comment and I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

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    39. @The Lovely Penguin

      Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Also glad that you like present tense. I never used to write in present tense but awhile back I wanted to challenge myself and I like the idea of the reader "going along for the ride". Still a lot of the critique I've found online against present tense is very funny. I can almost imagine some of the "neigh-sayers" holding their fingers up like a cross and calling on the power of Christ.

      I've reintroduced myself to past tense and have become quite comfortable with that as well. I'm working on two other fanfics along with this one. One is about Scootaloo (inspired by a scene from "Chancing Canterlot" by Kits, very good read IMHO.) and the other is about The Great and Powerful Trixie. Both will be in past tense. Also neither will have nearly as many tags or be "grimdark" since I noticed that many avoid any story with the "grimdark" tag like the plague.

      I'd like to point out that I'm not planning on breaking the PG-13 rating with 0 42 (think Star Wars violence).

      With my Trixie and Scootaloo fics I'm hoping that less tags + no grimdark + past tense = better MLP fanfic. I guess I'll soon see...that is if I don't like Gears of War 3 too much.

      O 42 will continue in present tense until it ends. But any sequels may be in past tense (oops, my "getting ahead of yourself here" alarm is going off).

      If you want to go through and edit that would be fine with me (I'm never one to turn down help or constructive criticism) as long as it doesn't inconvenience you.

      Once again, thank you for the comment, I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Some may find some of the changes I make to some of the Mane 6 to be a bit jarring. Oh, well, guess I'll find out in Chapter 4 and 5 when I introduce Rainbow Dash and Rarity who I altered the most.

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    40. And then Owlowiscious was a space ship...

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    41. @Cat Eats Dog About the grimdark: based on most of the stories I've seen here, a Star Wars/PG-13 level of violence probably only merits an [Adventure] tag at most. Obviously I'm not the authority on this or anything, but I've seen non-grimdark tagged stuff with significantly more graphic violence than Star Wars on here. :)

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    42. @Twilight Spark

      And then Owlowiscious was a space ship!
      And then Owlowiscious was a space ship!
      And then Owlowiscious was a spaaaace shiiiip!

      I always like the musical version...:)

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    43. @Overlong Analysis Cobalt

      Cool, thanks for the info, I'll have to remember to ask about changing the tags. Should probably get rid of the "Sad" one too...





      And then Tylight pickerd up her lazerd rifle

      And she shotd at the demons
      And she shotd at the demons
      And the domens head explooded
      Into confetti...

      Then the cybr demon said "I will destro yu and eat yur tender pony meats"
      But Twilit Spurkle said "No" adn she mad the air venders fall and killd the demon

      And den Twilight wuz teh heroness!
      And den Twilight wuz teh heroness!
      Heroooneeeess!

      Sorry, I'll stop now. :P

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    44. @Cat Eats Dog

      Cool beans. To what email address do I send the edits?

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    45. Please tell me this is inspired at least in part by Firefly... and that it evokes at least one little whif of that majesty

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    46. @MaximillianVeers

      Yes, indeed it was inspired partly by, (what is in my honest opinion to be Joss Whedon's greatest work) Firefly. Twilight's ship was especially inspired by the Serenity (I changed a number of things of course). I wanted something that could be easily pictured by anyone who read this fanfic.

      And if you are asking if my story is anywhere near as awesome as Firefly...short answer: No. Long answer: NooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOoOOOOooOOooOOooooooooooooooooo. However, the great thing about people is that we all have opinions and that ones mine.

      Also, as I mentioned earlier Firefly is just a fraction of what inspired this. Other inspirations, refs, nods, and parodies both mentioned already and not yet mentioned include: (Possible Spoiler Warning)




      Star Wars
      Star Trek
      Lost In Space
      2001: A Space Odyssey
      Space Balls
      Aliens
      JC's Avatar
      The Dirty Pair (Lyra and BonBon)
      Portal 2
      Warhammer 40k
      One Piece
      Black Lagoon
      Repo
      Lazy Town
      Dr. Steel
      Hard n Phirm - Pi (Pinkie's Song)
      Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy (Dr. Zaks and his race were inspired by the Krikkiters)
      MegasXLR
      MST3K
      Weird Al Show
      Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
      American McGee's Alice
      Fantastic Mr. Fox
      Borat
      Tangled
      Titan A.E.
      Pokemon
      Full Metal Alchemist
      Twisted Metal

      I'm sure there are some I couldn't think of at the time of posting this. There will probably be many more additions to this list as I get more ideas.

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    47. The Google Doc requires permission to access.

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    48. @Alex

      Yeah, I think the author said something about rewriting the thing.

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    49. @Alex

      Pretty much what LP said. Thank you, LP.

      Sorry about that. I didn't think anyone would go looking at my story so long after it's been posted so I thought it would be safe to make it private while I revamped it. Then the next thing I know I get two e-mails in one week requesting I unblock it.

      Good news is Maximillian Veers has made a readable PDF of the old version on his deviantart site if you are still interested. Find that here: http://maximillianveers.deviantart.com/gallery/31093108?offset=72#/d4b6x4w.

      If you're curious the major changes I'm making are:

      1. The Description. The current one is pretty lame. This will be the third time I've changed it...hopefully third time is a charm.

      2. The tense. Writing in present tense was driving some readers crazy and began to drive me crazy as well especially since I have a lot of back story to tell and wasn't able to due to the limitations of present tense writing. The little segments I had at the beginning of each chapter just weren't enough.

      3. Tags. I've looked up some examples and re-examined my story and have come to the conclusion that "Shipping" and "Sad" are unnecessary. There will be no tear inducing parts.

      4. Dr. Zaks. I hated this character from the moment I made him. He...was just wrong. Too serious for the subject matter IMHO. So I reworked his whole character. Now instead of being an evil sociopath he's a wacky evil psychotic. For example, instead of simply smiling a bit as he watches a world burn he would now be found dancing arm-in-arm with a group of death-bots while watching a world burn. In the original Zaks and Pinkie didn't really affect each other much...changed that too.

      I'm also working in some musical parts (mostly involving Pinkie and the individuals she affects.) Oh, and all .5 chapters will be abolished. Chapter 3.5 is now just chapter 4.

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    50. @Cat Eats Dog

      No problem! I'm looking forward to the rewrites. Also, if you want, I can preread them for you, when you're ready.

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    51. @The Lovely Penguin

      I would really appreciate that. I finished the prologue and chapter 1. I just want to look over chapter 2 a few more times. Not much needs to be added to chapter 3 so that one should be quick (lol, yeah, that's what I told myself about chapter 2. we'll see). Chapter 4 is going to have to undergo the most changes due to Zaks shift in personality but I have it pretty much all planned out. And chapter five is almost done. I hope. I've been telling myself and some of my friends who are also reading O 42 that I would be done soon for the past week and a half but I keep adding more. The dang thing is going on 30 pages...

      Anyway, thank you again, LP. I'll shoot you an e-mail with the links.

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    52. Ah. I was wondering why I couldn't read the second chapter...

      Just curious, but was the prologue inspired by the scene in Firefly where Mal is buying Serenity?

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    53. @Crazael

      Sorry about that. I'm almost done revamping it. Then I'll send it to LP and I'll unblock it as soon as I apply the edits.

      As for whether the prologue was inspired by a scene in Firefly...I really don't know...The Owlowiscious' design was heavily influenced by the Serenity but...hold on...

      *Youtube*

      Holy crap! I honestly didn't mean that. Although I could have subconsciously did it. It's been so long since I watched Firefly. Now I want to watch it all again. Darn and I was almost done with the 5th season of House too.

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    54. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    55. @Cat Eats Dog

      Just wondering, Cat Eats Dog...

      After skimming the comments, it seems you aren't writing this anymore, and instead have been working on a revamped version of this? Is this correct? When do you think we will be able to read the revamped story? I have been waiting so long to read more of this! Will you be submitting the new version to EQD? Or is it already up somewhere else?

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    56. @Digital Anaphora

      I don't want to speak for him, but I believe he'll simply be updating the links in this post. There wouldn't be any reason to re-submit to the site.

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    57. @Digital Anaphora

      You've been waiting to read more and believe me, I've been wanting to write more.

      I try not to make a habit of making excuses but unfortunately that's all I can offer at this time. The beginning and the end of each year are the busiest times of the year for me with my current occupations. Between my continued training for the upcoming CPAT test and long, demanding work hours I've had no time to write and in fact have written nothing (aside from notes on my phone) in the last two weeks.

      Yes, I have been working on a revamped version of "O 42". So far the prologue, chapter one, two, and three have been updated. The links to chapter one, two, and three haven't been changed so the links above should take you to the revamped chapters. There is a link in chapter one that brings you to the prologue.

      Currently chapter four (formerly 3.5) is being completely redone to reflect some character personality changes and to incorporate better ideas. Originally I had planned to make chapter four short and sweet, even shorter than 3.5 but then I got more and more ideas and now it might turn out to be quite long. It should be enjoyable and perhaps pretty funny as well as it contains more of the good doctor's wackiness.

      I plan to re-submit everything (including a new image and description) when it's all revamped and when I have a new chapter to post. The good news is that chapter five and six are currently done so when all the editing is done and I do submit everything it should be a pretty large update.

      Sorry I took so long to respond to your post. Thankfully, The Lovely Penguin had my back. Thanks LP!

      Like LP said, right now there really isn't much reason to re-submit anything. Once chapter five is ready "O 42" should hopefully be making an appearance in a story update post.

      Thanks for reading! February should bring a slowdown and a return to normalcy for my schedule in which I will do my best to crank out some more sci-fi pony goodness!

      Have a great day!

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    58. @Cat Eats Dog

      :O Oh wow! That's quite awesome to hear! Can't wait for you to be able to relax with your IRL stuff! I know how that goes. Waiting patiently for more chapters!

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    59. Definitely happy to hear you're still plugging away at this. Also wanted to point out that the chapter 3.5 link is dead.

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