• Story: The Thessalonica Legacy (Update: Epilogue (18)!)

    [Normal][Crossover][SciFi] This is a long story, so long, that someone went ahead and made it an entire intro screen to represent it.  I was going to toss it in a PMV queue, but it honestly deserves a bump anyway.  Seventeen chapters at once was overwhelming.  So have a new intro movie/select screen (After the break!), and the story again!

    Author: Dashukta
    Description: In the 31st Century, humankind has spread to thousands of planets in the Inner Sphere. Once united under the glorious banner of the Star League, the Successor States and their noble houses now fight bitter wars over the scraps of empire. When a JumpShip carrying a special task force from the Federated Suns suffers a catastrophic misjump, the occupants find themselves stranded above a strange, beautiful world at once alien and eerily familiar.

    Meanwhile, in the peaceful realm of Equestria, Ponyville’s resident bookworm , Twilight Sparkle, has stumbled upon hints of a secret buried for centuries. A secret that may lay bare long-forgotten aspects of Pony history and culture.

    Our story begins on the planet Valexa, where the beleaguered Militia has launched a last-ditch effort to call for help against overwhelming odds.

    Written with those who are not familiar with the BattleTech universe in mind.

    The Thessalonica Legacy
    Chapters below

    1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17| 18


     Additional Tags: BattleTech, MechWarrior, Mecha, Humans in Equestria, long


    Thessalonica Legacy Alternate All Links

    Thessalonica Legacy PDF




    178 comments:

    1. The mere idea of an MLP/BattleTech crossover fills me with glee. I'll be sure to read this when I have a bit more time.

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    2. Holy freakin' crap, Battletech? O.O I'm really hoping this'll be a good one.

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    3. Wow, 17 chapters! Looks like another night of sleep lost to get my pony fix! ;)

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    4. Sci-fi, 17 chapters, complete...

      I'M IN!

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    5. Oh come on battletech/mechwarrior? What ever happened to good old Robotech? Ah well I enjoy reading too much and I'm starting to feel less monsterish, maybe I should go antagonize someone with my beet bazooka.

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    6. Equestria Daily.........Online.
      Pony Fan-Fiction........Online.
      Battletech Crossover....Online.

      All Ponies Nominal.

      Ok... as unlikely as this is... I have to read this now. Review pending, I can't get to it right away.

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    7. Battletech and Ponies!? This could be mankind's greatest achievement.

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    8. battletech crossover... i guess i should read it

      ya know what would take some serious skittles to crossover, Stephen Kings Kingdom Hospital & The Dark Tower series

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    9. Ponies and Battletech...
      I can die in peace now.

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    10. *picture*

      "Look eveypony! An assteroid!"

      "Where?!"

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    11. lulz i used to own a couple of these when i was 10 i didnt know what it was til 5 months ago ahaha thank god for wikipedia

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    12. This...oh god. Battletech. Ponies.

      I just... I ... I have no words.

      I need to read this, NOW.

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    13. Luna with a Timberwolf battlemech was what popped into my head when i saw this...

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    14. Planet Equestria.
      Ambient temperature: 4-5-point-6-5 degrees.
      Local time is 17:34:37 GST.
      All ponies nominal.

      OT: I really, REALLY need to read this, now. Been playing Mech since I was 5, with Mechwarrior 2. Good times.

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    15. Ah giant robots... my one weakness.
      Well, my most giant one.

      And yet sleep must come first.

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    16. New Clan
      Clan Earth Pony

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    17. Ok, I wanna know, how long was the author shut in their room working this?

      17 chapters and complete? Where did that come from?!

      Since I hear only good things of the subject, I think I shall dive into this... right after I wake up at my keyboard in the morning.

      I really do have way too much to read >.<

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    18. Trollestia is covering up the fact that aliens landed in Equestria. And she's doing it for the lulz. XD

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    19. Never played Battletech, but i JUST finished an epic (and poorly planed, but clear victory at the end) battle for Thessalonica in Rome Total War, Brutti vs Masedon. Exited the game and found this...

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    20. @Gavin

      Great and Powerful Trixie in an ATLAS.
      Or Awesome.
      No wait, even better... a KODIAK.

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    21. This is an entirely unexpected (though not unwelcome) crossover.

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    22. Wait. Battletech? I played that shit at like 8 years old! MECH NOSTALGIA IS PUSHING ME TO READ PONIES.
      I love you guys.

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    23. Now I have find a Macross/MLP crossover...

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    24. Sci-Fi crossover, huh? Which IP are they using for thBATTLETECH? Ponies and BATTLETECH?

      SHO AWESHUM! /)^3^(\

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    25. Oh, wow. Heh. I wasn't expecting this till tomorrow.


      @Muffinsforever
      How long it took? About a month, not continuous. I had some free time.

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    26. You. Dashukta. i have just two words for you...

      thank you.

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    27. This is the most Epic thing in my entire existence, it delivered every thing my imagination craved for. Yes, Pinkie Pie In a battle mech (only a passenger but it's as close as you were going to get) My life is contented.

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    28. This is an awesome fic! I have loved the few scifi pony crossovers that have been done so far, and this one is my favorite.

      For me, its right up there with Fallout: Equestria,which is my favorite pony story, and a few others. Great job, Dashukta!

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    29. WOOOOOOO damn what a 5 hour read, i love love looooved it i..i cant expess how much fun i had reading it
      freakin triple A

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    30. I greatly enjoyed the story! I'll readily admit, I didn't foresee much room to combine MLP with a world that is as close to being its polar opposite as you can get, but you did so in a logical and entertaining manner.

      Also, thank you for NOT forgetting about a certain loose end from early on in the tale. While I enjoyed everything about the story, the fact that everything was wrapped us as nice as could be done is what really made this piece of fanfiction a treat. 5/5 stars!

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    31. very excellent, very well thought out. uhm, it has some issues, uhm, nothing major. one facepalm out of 17 chapters is pretty good. i think it was how off-character i felt Celestia was being, though she came back around eventually. or maybe it was the Mech pilot letting go of the saboteur like a fool when they caught him. either way, it wasn't major and it led into something eventually. professional writers usually give me more. uhm, i really, really REALLY REALLY like how you've described the language barrier. that is how i was going to write it whenever i got around to finishing my own thing. self-insert though so no one will ever see it. sorry ...

      i also like Fluttershy's reaction to human diet, another thing i was going to touch on with my own thingy. i always grimace whenever some writer makes her flip out because we eat meat. carnivores exist in Equestria, people. the manticore is just one example. uhm, sorry but they do and Fluttershy would be more apt to understand human dietary needs than some of the more townie ponies. the fact we fight for bad reasons would give her nightmares but our diet, probably a lot less so. though if she hears that we can become true herbivores but chose not to (tradition mostly), she might take issue with it (it's possible but only with a scientific understanding of nutrition and what plants give what protein/trace nutrients. in Equestria, i don't see that happening especially with a non-vegetarian starting human).

      i really liked it, even if i never could get into BattleTech.

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    32. Well, I'm glad folks liked it.

      I'm willing to discuss anything and everything about it. Why I made certain decisions and such. Criticism is welcome, of course. I do want to get better, after all.

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    33. Damn. Look's like someone beat me to it. Good to see that I'm not only battletech fan here.

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    34. Before investing a LOT of time reading this series of stories, I want to know :

      Is it based on Mechwarrior 1-2-3-4 (2-4 mercenaries), only 1 of them or a combination of them... or is it based on the board game (it had melee weapons, which the games don't).

      Or is it just the ''general concept'' applied to MLP:FiM ?

      (I 'mostly' played Mechwarrior 4-Mercenaries, just to say, but I do know a bit about the rest.)

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    35. @Nova25 The board game, mostly. Well, really the fluff surrounding the board game.

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    36. Just spent 5 hours reading it. This is now one of my top favorite fanfics. SO AWESOME /)^3^(\

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    37. Do you play the battletech RPG(A Time of War)?

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    38. Oh Mechwarrior 2, you were such a badass game...

      This fic was awesome.

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    39. I admit I am an old player of battletech and mechwarror way back in my college days. So I kind of got the whole tech thing. I like how they had issues not just with language but with specialty words that just would not translate. I also like how you included just enough tech talk to make you believe the character were knowledgeable without bogging it down until that was the point that they were getting bogged down. One part that was just feeling odd is that they had to keep blowing up their engines? really? none of the vast numbers of tech engineers and mechanics could figure out how to make a low grade sync able E.M.P. generator or something to put in a more controllable flux generator? But the thing I just could not see is Equestria=earth . so this super high tech center of humanity just suddenly looses all traces of civilization and breaks out in Technicolor marshmallow magical ponies, dragons, gryphons, and what not? I could see it as maybe a biological backup planet, specially with how difficult it was to get too and from. like the seed depositories up in Alaska and Greenland.

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    40. @Luna Epona

      It was implied that it may be an alternate universe earth.

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    41. AAAAAARGH! I'm 80% done with one that uses BT tech as a background element! Now it's gonna seem like a ripoff! *frustration*

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    42. @Luna Epona
      Anon has it. I purposefully kept it kind of vague, but while in this story Equestria=earth, it's not OUR earth, or even the BattleTech earth.
      The short explanation is, I didn't want Equestria to be a planet in the BattleTech universe. I wanted them to be separate fictional universes brought together temporarily.

      I freely admit the method for traveling between the universes is hand-in-fist. I guess we can techno-babble it away that it is the physical shock to the initiator that causes the effects, and the scientists hadn't found a reliable way of duplicating it.

      @Anonymous: Keep going! Another BT crossover from a different perspective would be great.
      (should I mention that an early concept I had was for retelling the old animated series with ponies substituted for the characters? Twilight as Adam "Information is Ammunition" Steiner, Trixie as Ciro, etc.)

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    43. Okay, I've made it 7 chapters in and I still want to keep going, so you've succeeded in capturing my interest.

      There are a lot of people here who seem to be fansquealing over Battletech and I have to be honest... I have NO idea what that is. And the first chapter ALMOST scared me off with the utter lack of pony and a sequence of robo battles that honestly confused the heck out of me, but now that I'm almost halfway through I can safely say yes. This is good.

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    44. If you were able to get through the giant robot battles involving a sci-fi franchise you've never heard of, and you still want to read it... then I have succeeded in what I wanted to do.

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    45. I just started reading, being an old Battletech grognard, and I'm surprised at how well-written this is. Even though Chapter One contains no ponies and is a bit heavy on the BT technical jargon, it's eminently readable. Chapter Two starts off with Twilight Sparkle reading, making for a very nice segue which is also put together well.

      The author provides a good solid visual of what's going on, without being overwrought...I do believe I'll see this one through.

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    46. Cody MacArthur FettJuly 9, 2011 at 3:21 PM

      This is a beautifully crafted story. Great in both its simplicity, and its completeness. Yet it leaves room for a sequel. Not only is this definitely one of the great works of PonyFic, but it's also one of the best BattleTech crossovers I've ever read.

      As a sidenote, I really do hope you do a sequel to this. It'd be a ridiculously easy to set up, just have a teleportation accident with Twilight and her friends, and it has so much potential for character development and interesting situations. You already laid the groundwork for one with the Valexa Militia getting together with some friends to form a mercenary unit, and with Twilight's festering hatred of the Word of Blake. Plus, it would be the natural direction to take things in: we've seen how humans fair in the FIM universe, now how do ponies fair in the BattleTech universe? (That, and the idea of Rainbow Dash fangirling over an aerospace fighter is just too adorable not to indulge in.)

      One final thing, you're missing intel on Valexa in your author's notes.

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    47. This was a very good and well constructed story and it was a joy to read. The only minor complant was that some of the Battletech stuff a little hard to follow for me. Still good work and I hope to see more from you.

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    48. We've all seen Scootaloo on a scooter.

      Now she'll soon have access to an internal combustion engine? Celestia help us all.

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    49. At first I was scared "BT and Ponies? Its like WH40k and Toy Story."
      Then I read it...

      I just adore the style of your writing mr author.
      Being a huge BT fan I had no problems with all the terminology and lore, I loved it how subtle (I know it sounds wrong) the crossover was, reading tags you would expect all out war with Atlases and Turkinas trading LBX fire over Ponyville...
      If soemone is reading this comment right now and thinking this story is all like "LOLOL lets throw giant fighting robots on ponies and watch the world burn" they are gravely mistaken. Except first chapter there is almost no Mech action in here. Human characters are nice, not too deep considering its mix that strange, just perfect in my opinion.

      SPOILER:
      I spat out my tea when Celestia said she knows of Joseph Cameron... mind blown.
      /SPOILER

      Well done...
      Well done indeed.

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    50. You know, an early concept I had did involve an all-out 'Mech fight in and around Ponyville, as well as considerable political machinations with rival factions vying for Celestia's favor. That quickly got scrapped.

      I'm not (currently) planning on a sequel. If someone wants to pick up the concepts dropped in this and run with them, I'd be willing to lend a hand.

      Actually, what I'd like to see is someone do a "Orion Nebula: Spacepony Extraordinaire" comic book.

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    51. Having been brought into the Brony fold by a thread on CBT.com, I must say finding this story made me squee a bit.

      A little shorter on big stompy robots than expected, but it was neat seeing even a lowly light 'Mech shown in such an impressive light.

      Any plans on a sequel? I shudder to think that the only spheroids that know the secret to getting to Equestria aside from our heroes would be...the Word of Blake. And the Jihad being what it is, they might get desperate enough to try...

      Curiously I've managed to mostly avoid this crossover concept despite my being a sucker for such things (aside from a ponified ELH insignia that I never seem to get around to requesting). Now I find myself pondering 31st century pony combat. Quad BA would seem to me to be the ideal, since anything bigger would probably require VDNI...

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    52. Well I just finished reading, and I can honestly say, 'Bravo'.

      While I haven't played Mechwarrior, or Battletech, or whatever, I am an avid fan of Super Robot Taisen, and that seemed to fill out my mind's eye well enough. Perhaps more stylishly than it should've been due to SRT's aesthetic, but c'est la vie. I'm sure Rarity would approve.

      Over all, fabulous job. Although one thing that I noticed. At the end of Ch 16 and the beginning of 17, you used the word 'sew'. The word you'd be after is 'sow' as in 'To sow seeds' or 'to sow misery'

      Just my little bit of compulsory OCD'ing, and it didn't detract from what is a really well made story. Kudos!

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    53. @Delta Pangaea Whoops, missed that. Darn autocorrecting spellchecker. Fixed now, thanks.

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    54. Took me two days to read it but I liked it. I knew nothing about battletech and I think you did a good job keeping me informed without throwing to much Sci-fi technobabble at me.

      The later chapters felt like they got kinda lite on character interaction as the story neared the end. By this I mean we were in the characters heads for the first chapters feeling what they felt and struggling with them to overcome challenges. The shock of meeting each other and discovery was fun.

      Later on it felt like I never got to reconnect with the characters emotionally as it became more action oriented. The inner thoughts and feelings of the characters seemed to be overshadowed by all the events going on.

      I'm nitpicking though, 5/5 Stars Sir

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    55. I've read a lot of these "space explorers encounter ponies" stories now, and I have to say... I think this one may be my favorite in that respect. I'm not familiar at all with BattleTech, but you keep it accessible. The nuances of Equestrian technology and history are a nice touch, as well as the language factors. You cover a lot of bases and make a coherent, well built story, especially considering its length. Good job.
      I think the ending may have been more effective if you left out the kids' encounter with the vehicle and simply described them reporting it to Twilight. It would have created more of a "punch." But that's all I can really think to mention. Really, well done.

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    56. Minor announcement:

      "The Thessalonica Legacy" is now also available on FIMFiction.net

      http://www.fimfiction.net/story/122/The-Thessalonica-Legacy

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    57. This is the most entertaining thing I've ever read.

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    58. ...And we're off the page and into the archives.

      Five stars? Wow! Thanks, folks! I am really flattered (and a little surprised) this went over so well.

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    59. This was magnificent. Truly splendid.

      I've never really touched the BattleTech universe (save for the Mechassault games, but they don't really count) but I loved the way the universe portrayed big bots in a realistic, believable way, in contrast to those over-engineered, impossibly nimble gundam... things, so taking a universe I liked and had a healthy respect for and crossing it with the ponies I freakin' adore and executing it so bleeding well...
      This... this damn near supplanted Fallout: Equestria as my favorite crossover fic. Bravo indeed.

      I also feel I have to echo the author now; where the hell are the Star Trek crossovers? I can easily imagine Q deciding to torment some of his favorite federation playthings by turning them into ponies. Seriously, somepony needs to make this happen.

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    60. I worry that the first chapter may be enough to put off some potential readers, given the lack of ponies it contains. I would have suggested swapping chapter 1 and 2 to give some pony up front and hopefully get the reader interested in the strange origin of their 'technology'. Then bring out the giant robots.

      I also found the first few chapters quite slow going. You gave very well written, pretty descriptions that I often felt were too long and largely unnecessary. While nice, they served to bog down the story.

      But once I got to the meat of the story I really began to enjoy it. The first meeting of ponies and humans was probably my favourite part, I loved how you handled the language barrier and the way Fluttershy and Liz found ways to communicate past it.

      I found that it really came alive once the crossover was in full swing and the mane cast were interacting with the humans.

      So in summary I thought that it was very well written, a tad wordy in places, featured some great interactions and had contained some really really good ideas.

      Loved it. I think that this is how a crossover should be.

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    61. Complete?

      No no no no. There is no way in HELL you leave this hanging without a sequel, or at least an epilogue!

      Then again, I'm not driving this bus. You are.

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    62. @uSea

      I hemmed and hawed long and hard about the order of those two chapters. I'm not 100% convinced I chose the right order, for much the same reasons you mention.
      I did, however, want to maintain a 1-for-1 balance between the two arcs for the first part of the story.

      I don't have a sequel in mind. Maybe if I can come up with a good idea for an arc.
      An epilogue, though. That I could pull off--but it would probably end up being more of a tease and untie some more loose ends.

      Ok, how about this: If enough people comment here and tell me they want me to write an epilogue to this story, I will acquiesce and write up a little bit detailing what happens to the main players after the curtain drops.

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    63. YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

      As both a FiM and Battletech fan I find this story awesome. An epilogue would be great, even as just a teaser.

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    64. A sequel would be absolutely fantastic, but until you can plot one out an epilogue would be stellar.

      One thing though, I noticed while reading through this that it didn't seem like our BattleTech heroes got any of the parts they needed for the JumpShip's repairs, and Luna's desire for a cultural exchange was never really addressed after it was brought up. The point about Luna can wait till another book (possibly the third), but the point about the part really needs to be addressed in this story. It didn't really hamper my enjoyment while reading the story, but it has been nagging in the back of my head for a while now after I finished reading.

      Oh, and if you need any help planning that arc out (believe me, I have a lot of ideas for how this story can be continued), feel free to contact me. I'm always willing to lend a helping hand to my fellow writers.

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    65. I really liked that. I'm afraid I can't offer any more detailed criticisms than clicking the fifth star up there.

      I thought the explanations of BattleTech details were a bit overdone, but that's because I have shelves filled with BattleTech material. I didn't need huge explanations to follow the story.

      That's my biggest complaint. When "I didn't need the help" is the worst I can say, something has gone very, very right.

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    66. Ack. Forgot the important bit. I would like to see more of this, whether that's an epilogue or a new story or anything else.

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    67. First post says it all.

      Battletech + MLP.

      My brain is in a constant state of explosion from how good I'm hoping this will be!

      ~~~
      Wait, the main character is named Ramierez?

      The line "Ramierez! Do everything!" must be said at one point or another.
      ~~~
      Also, THIS IS AMAZING UGGGHGH 5-STAR!

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    68. This is EXCEPTIONALLY well-written, from the clear vantage of someone who is a highly-informed fan of both the MLP and BT franchises.

      At some 66K words, it is a novel...and, in all honesty, on par with many of the actual novels professionally written for the Battletech game universe.

      Five stars.

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    69. ... Finish reading story, hit F5, new picture! When did this get here!?

      Oh, just now.

      Best Battletech crossover ever, and I now want to play Mechwarrior 4 Mercs.

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    70. *clicks on trailer just out of curiosity*

      *hears TSFH's "After The Fall" playing in the background*

      ...I think I may read this, actually, despite the fact that the last time I played MechWarrior was when I was six.

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    71. @reboundi blew an atlas all the way to kingdom come with a timberwolf. played mechassault online, and i was ownage with the timberwolf

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    72. Oh holy crap! Mechwarrior. I am going to be happy for a long time now XD

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    73. Have to say that vid was PRETTY AWESOME!!!

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    74. fuck YEAH! a cross over with battletech and ponies, loved those games back in the day and managed to hunt them all down not to long ago (type in kat.ph in your URL and search for mechwarrior, you'll find what you want after a bit of browsing *wink* *wink*)anyway your my hero man!

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    75. HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP!

      Sputter gasp wheeze

      I did not expect this. I am totally blown away.

      Who?!? Who did this video? I must know. I must offer them my sincerest HOLY-CRAP-THANK-YOU

      I'm... I'm speechless.

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    76. All right, so I'm halfway through the first chapter and I have absolutely no clue what's going on, but I'm intrigued anyway. There's just enough sense mixed in with the techno-babble and references to planets and confederations I've never heard of to keep me reading, and for what it's worth the techno-babble is kind of fascinating in itself. But that might just be because I'm a dork who likes that kind of thing.

      Going to continue with this a bit more tomorrow. Looks to be an interesting experience.

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    77. 17 chapters? I love pony novels. Time to break out the kindle...

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    78. @Aquaman52

      Fair warning:
      There's no pony in the first chapter. Its just setting up the other half of the crossover. Keep with it, chapter 2 is all pony.

      ReplyDelete
    79. @Dashukta

      @Dashukta

      I made it! "waves"

      And it should be me doing the thanking. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you your story is the most entertaining thing I've read in years. You managed to take two universes that were diametrically opposed and weaved them together in a way that just set my brain on fire.

      Excellent work man. Brohoofs forever.

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    80. i was like "WTF AN UPDATE?!?" then i see it was just for an intro and i aw'd but then i saw the vid and i was happy again!

      the video was cool but i just had that nagging feeling to just..PRESS START!!!gah!

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    81. Ok, I have to admit I was a bit stunned when I saw a BattleTech crossover on the front page. Couldn't help but read it, haha. As someone who's a fan of both BattleTech and MLP (well, the latter's obvious; wouldn't be here otherwise, would I now?) I can say that this is very well-written from both sides, and overall is a really, really cool story.

      I'm very impressed, and I honestly do think an epilogue would be kinda cool. Not sure how much room it leaves for a sequel, but there's definitely an epilogue hook in there at least.

      Ahem... hint, hint.

      I'll agree with what was said above that the BattleTech jargon seemed slightly overdone in the first couple of chapters, but that's more than excusable. For one, it seems that way to me largely because, as also said above, I don't need the help. Secondly, a good number of the official BattleTech/MechWarrior books have about that level of technicality on any 'Mech, vehicle, weapon system, or other technology that's just been introduced.

      Definitely five-star worthy in my book.

      (minor note: isn't that a Vulture/Mad Dog in the picture? Pretty cool picture either way, definitely saving that one.)

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    82. is that battlemech a Mad Dog?

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    83. Yup. That would be a Vulture (aka Mad Dog). Clan 60-tonner. Looks like the PRIME variant. Nasty firepower, but a little thin on armor.
      Almost makes me with I'd written one in.

      ReplyDelete
    84. @Ironside
      @Gavin

      Yup, it's a Mad Dog (Vulture)

      I know it's not a Valkyrie like in the story, but it was difficult for me to find a good reference image of one at that angle.

      Besides, Mad Dogs are fun to look at. :)

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    85. @maxaminus

      Most certainly not a complaint, trust me. (If anything, it was more of an "ohohoho, look at how much I know about BattleTech, aren't I amazing" kind of thing. >_>; )


      @Dashukta

      Mostly ranged though, as I recall, not too much up close. I never did like the lack of Jump Jets either; if I want a ranged 'Mech, I usually want a lot of mobility to maximize it.

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    86. I haven't touched Battletech since I was a little girl, but this very concept seemed like a complete mis-match. But...WOW! What a great story! The characters, the interaction between humans and ponies, it was all well-paced and wonderfully written. I can't give this story enough stars!

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    87. at last, my fandomes are combined.

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    88. Holy crap this is.. amazing. It's written EXACTLY like a canon Battletech novel.. are you sure your real name isn't Micheal A. Stackpole?

      Of course, that also means it has the same "problem" that BT novels have, which results in having to re-read paragraphs to get the full impact of what's happening, but that's a very minor complaint, as it isn't purple prose, just a different style of writing. Of course, in my case, it also helps that I'm a fan of both franchises and own a bunch of BattleTech novels, so.. this was like getting a new book!

      (like many others here, I got into the series with Mechwarrior 2 and have very fond childhood memories of it and it's sequels.. MW2: Mercenaries is STILL one of the best PC games ever, IMO)

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    89. I thought the story was enjoyable. I am completely unfamiliar with Battletech, but wrote it in such a way that it was still pretty interesting to read.

      This anonymous, however, was more fascinated by the angle you took with Twilight Sparkle and her investigation of history and the strangeness that emerged from there. I think it would have made a fascinating story in itself having the unicorn investigate and learn about the holes in the world around her, and whispers of 'humans' in the darkest corners of the oldest books.

      I can understand how that might not be your cup of tea, though. Thanks for writing what you did, and I hope you make something else in the future.

      ReplyDelete
    90. Oh man, this is gonna be a fun read....

      Damn it! It's so disheartening to know that I can never actually "Press Start" on that screen!! I WANNA PLAY IT NOW! :)

      ReplyDelete
    91. Hours later and I've read the whole thing and.. it's impressive. Very impressive. I really could see this being published AS IS and it would work as a book. The ponies are completely in-character and the human's reactions to them are pretty much what you'd expect; the fact that aliens DON'T exist in the BattleTech universe makes their interactions all the more fascinating. Celestia had a small but important role in the story, and I very much enjoyed that part.

      All in all, this is a fantastic bit of writing and if you can give it some time, it will draw you in right to the end.

      ReplyDelete
    92. I'm glad this one got the credit it deserved. It's so long for a single post without any updates. I felt bad when it was buried so quickly.

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    93. This is definitely up there with the great fanfics.

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    94. Holy crap, how did I miss this when it first got posted?

      I've only read the first 4 chapters (curse you full time employment that allows me to pay for internet and a roof over my head) but so far you've totally nailed the feel of the Battletech novels, and this is coming from someone who's been a battletech fan since the first boxed set.

      I like the interweaving of the two universes so far, and as a history buff Twilight's research felt very realistic and well handled. So far 5/5, will likely read again and again.

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    95. That video is having a strange effect on me. Clan 'Mech pointed in the general direction of Ponyville, left arm aiming right where the main (pony) characters pop up...

      I'm getting images of someone declaring a Trial for Ponyville, honestly.
      "With what forces will you defend this town?"
      "One pony. Fluttershy!"
      "Well bargained and- d'awwww."

      ReplyDelete
    96. Honestly this is professional quality. Brilliantly executed. Characterizations are spot on. Engagingly paced. Well thought out. In short I absolutely loved it.

      If you haven't already, I'd suggest taking a stab at professional writing.

      ReplyDelete
    97. Dat movie. I just soiled my pants out of sheer awesomeness.

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    98. Just read through the entire story; I have to say it was really well done, and all the characterizations stayed very consistent throughout. The flow and pacing were just right, and there were very very few grammatical errors (I think I spotted a couple spots there Twighlight wasn't capitalized is all). You have my 5 stars, good sir.

      And the image of Scootaloo tearing around on a jeep after they salvage it? Priceless.

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    99. this is good. like, damn. chapter 7, still going.

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    100. I never really heard of Battletech before reading this, but I'll tell you that I love reading science-fiction. I read through all of this story in one go, and I'm really impressed with everything about it. Excellent work.

      6/5

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    101. Truth be told, when I saw this fic... I was a bit... taken back, I love Battletech, and I love MLP... but, how the heck would somepony cross the two? I decided to give it a shot, and well, I was well, quite pleased with what I got.

      I'm actually amazed you have not written battletech before, reading the battletech parts, felt like reading one of the novels, and well, truth be told. You crossed it with MLP quite amazingly.

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    102. I was initially filled with fear and trepidation at seeing this combination, but the little video someone put together convinced me to give it a shot.

      By the time I was finished I wanted MOAR!!!

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    103. This is the best fanfic I've come across so far, and I've read quite a few. I'd like to see another story from you at some point.

      ReplyDelete
    104. BEST. THING. EVER.
      Someone should do Supreme Commander next. xD

      ReplyDelete
    105. Damn you, sir. Now I want to pick up the BattleTech novels. Never thought I would go the Kindle route (the generally agreed upon "must read" books are horribly hard to find in physical form, it seems)

      ReplyDelete
    106. Holy crud, man. I've been a Battletech fan for a while, and honestly just clicked on this to see how badly the trainwreck went. The Mech chapters read like something straight out of a Stackpole novel, the pony characters are well-written, and the entire thing was engaging enough that I read it in one sitting. Bravo! There had best be an epilogue. :)

      ReplyDelete
    107. OK, finished reading it and I must say, excellent job all around. Good sir you seriously write Battletech like you swallowed Michael Stackpole. You also exactly the correct choice when you made the story not about the cool giant robots, but about people from X setting interacting with people from Y setting, and the impact that each have on the other.

      If you are not making an effort to write professionally, I would encourage you to do so, you have the skill and more.

      ReplyDelete
    108. You guys are awesome.

      I'm working on a little thank you. Watch this space.

      ReplyDelete
    109. So I came across the intro screen update a couple of days ago and knew right then that I needed to read this. Well, this story pretty much sucked me right in, and I ended up finishing it in two sittings (at the expense of work ofc).

      Seriously this is up with "Fallout Equestria" and "It's Dangerous Business, Going Out Your Door" as my favorite fanfics. Just like FO:E this story was able to blend two polar opposite universes together perfectly, *and* throw in humans into the mix.

      If I had to make any constructive complaints, its that Ackermann was abit of an obvious villain, and not a clever one at that. I mean, he steals the disk, and even if he was able to get away and somehow commandeer the dropship, his only way out is a jumpship filled with a bunch of pissed off guys. At least wait until you are back in your universe before revealing yourself...

      That aside, this is still 6-star material, and I would love to see a sequel. even if its a epilogue. But seriously; write a full on sequel. The public *demands* it! No rest for the author! WRITE MOAR OR FACE THE WRATH OF BLA---er sorry.

      Also, I request fanart of pinky pie piloting a mech. That is all.

      ReplyDelete
    110. I am about halfway through the story now and I am enjoying it greatly. Knowing nothing of Battletech the first few chapters were a little jarring and confusing, but once I got a hand on the jargon I really started to get into it.
      I like how the plot thread of Twilight researching the technology shift was developed and Celestia's discussion on passivity leading to technological stagnation. I also liked Celestia's portrayal and reaction to the human's arrival. She is like a loving mother, and like any good mother she will not hesitate to bring down righteous fire on any who would dare threaten her children.
      You handled the language barrier in a logical and convincing manner. I especially like how you describe the way the Equestrian language sounds to humans, and Fluttershy working to communicate with Liz.
      I also like the human characters and I suspect I know who the saboteur is, and what future problems he may cause.

      ReplyDelete
    111. Just finished it, and this is one of the best crossovers I have read. Now I am imagining Pinkie Pie piloting a giant mech.

      One question though, although it was meant for a bit of a joke, I find it odd that the human team would not have tried to salvage the crashed jeep.

      ReplyDelete
    112. They forgot about it. That's my explanation, and I'm sticking to it :)

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    113. Read through it all, 6 stars, would read again

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    114. alll pure win! also, and my pics, pa?
      (and the cheyenne, pa?)

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    115. Absolutely wonderful! At first I thought it should have been longer, but in the end I think it stayed around just long enough to accomplish what it needed to. Much like the humans. :) My favorite aspect of this world was the play on the human tech in equestria.

      ReplyDelete
    116. This has got to be the best fic I've ever read! The fact that its actually COMPLETE alone is fantastic!

      ReplyDelete
    117. Anyone else ever read the BattleTech novel, Far Country?
      Same setup, but different pay off.

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    118. Very well done would read again.

      Worth 7 stars (six is not enough)

      ReplyDelete
    119. @TenchiFreak5

      I think you'll find, sir, it already is ^__^

      ReplyDelete
    120. I have only heard of MechWarrior (sparsely on online forums) but never played any games or read any of the related literature.
      However, I'm a big fan of science fiction stuff.
      I enjoyed this story a lot. Thank you for writing it. It was very well made and I particularly appreciated the description of the language barrier. Of course I really liked the rest too.
      I hope you write more in the future, I'll keep watch for it.

      ReplyDelete
    121. Finally got around to reading this and I must say it was great shame its over I hate finishing a Fic knowing that's the end :(

      ReplyDelete
    122. This was great I'm just sad it is over already :(. I don't care what your next fanfic will be I'll read anyway!

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    123. Huh. Didn't know it had an epilogue. (Click "Next" on Chapter 17.)

      Loved the story. I REALLY wish I could know what happens afterwards, but stories do have to end at some point. Five stars.

      ReplyDelete
    124. Question, is this legit? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7226163/1/The_Thessalonica_Legacy It just popped up on FF.net, and it seems like a bit of a copy 'n' paste of the Google Docs folder.

      ReplyDelete
    125. Its legit.
      I did it myself just a few minutes ago.

      ReplyDelete
    126. Wait, the epilogue has already been posted?! Methinks this story deserves an update post.

      ReplyDelete
    127. @Soapy5
      Sethisto has it in the cue. I just went ahead and made it already available.
      I figured it would lie unnoticed until then. I didn't figure on someone stumbling across it literally within minutes of me adding it to GoogleDocs.

      ReplyDelete
    128. I think you did a great job with the epilogue. I still had a niggling question about the possibility of further assimilation of human technology into pony society, as that possibility had been alluded to by Celestia earlier in the story.

      I looks like an honest-to-goodness industrial revolution is in the works. But, I wonder if it will make life better for them?

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    129. Er, that is to say, I had a niggling question *prior* to the epilogue. The epilogue answered it nicely :)

      ReplyDelete
    130. When I first saw this fic:

      What is battletech?

      Wikipedia:

      OHHHHHhhhh.... MechWarrior? I loved that game!

      I guess this fic is worth a try at a read... even though I usually get bugged that crossovers always involve a portal or just something stupidrandom (usually just a stupidrandom portal) to crossover... I am alright with the portal idea as long as it is epic in scale like Dungeons, Dragons, and a Little Friendship.

      ReplyDelete
    131. Well done, sir, well done indeed.

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    132. Deadpool_aka_Wade_WJuly 29, 2011 at 2:40 AM

      You all should invade the MekTek forums.
      http://www.mektek.net/forums/

      And wear the proud colors of Clan Rainbow Dash!(in your signature)
      http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y218/KristofBowen/crd.png

      =WC=Kristof Bowen

      ReplyDelete
    133. Despite asking for it, I had doubts that an epilogue could work. The humans have left. The only continuation I could see was to have their JumpShip arrive safely back in the Inner Sphere and debate whether to delete the records of the visit or not.

      This is better. It's a nice little story that flows from the original end, and picks up on a point that was mentioned briefly but not developed.

      While I'm here, the whole thing is excellent. Others have stated the reasons, but in short the actual meeting of the two groups, with the mutual curiousity and language barrier, was really well-handled. Speaking as a BT player, I kind of liked the use of Celestia's lifespan to throw in something that counts as ancient history to 3068. Something about the whole idea of a Hegemony research project into Equestria worked for me.

      ReplyDelete
    134. Man I want to keep reading FO: Equestria, but now...this just looks awesome...I think FO: Equestria can wait a little while...READ MODE: ON! :P

      ReplyDelete
    135. @Overkillius

      Well, its not a portal per-se, although it would qualify as something stupidrandom.

      I tried to make the stupidrandom plausible within the BattleTech universe, though.

      ReplyDelete
    136. I actually finished this as soon as it originally popped up, but never took the time to comment. Just wanted to say awesome, awesome job. Hope to see more stuff out of you in the future. Maybe a sequel? (Hint, hint)

      ReplyDelete
    137. I skipped over this on the frontpage a few times, I was like "scifi crossover ewwww" Then I saw "31st century" im like "hey that's battletech time". Then I saw "Successor States".
      Nerdgasm.

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    138. Great. I already can't wait one more week to play Battletech 24/7 at Gen Con next week. Now I have to quell my anticipation AND read a fanfic based on the same topic?

      ReplyDelete
    139. Very nice epilogue, restrained and well done but opening up vast possibilities for the future of Equestria.

      Probably for the best that no Mechs or other high tech bits were left behind for the ponies to reverse engineer. I can just see the Equestrian Royal Expeditionary Force jumping in and invading the inner sphere.

      By all reports the invasion is on par with the worst of the clan incursions, except the invader's weapons all seem to be completely non-lethal, disabling equipment and removing the soldier's ability to resist, but harming nobody. All enemy combatants are carefully taken prisoner, then given stern talking tos about the futility of fighting and the benefits of living in harmony.

      They're here, they're piloting 100 ton mechs, and they're going to love and tolerate the shit out of you...

      ReplyDelete
    140. @JR: "They're here, they're piloting 100 ton mechs, and they're going to love and tolerate the shit out of you..."

      I dunno, 100-ton mechs don't seem like they'd suit marshmallowy ponies.

      Now, something like a Balius on the other hand, complete with custom paint to match the piloting pony? That I could get behind.

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    141. I'm just waiting until ponies reverse-engineer their first BattleMech.

      They have an internal combustion engine. It's only a matter of time now...

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    142. I have two, EXACTLY TWO, points of criticism against the story:
      1. It ended.
      2. The ponies and likable humans parted ways in aforementioned ending.

      There is a remedy for both of these. One that has been suggested by many commenters before: a sequel.

      This story is great. In-character ponies, nice lampshading of the impossibility of the misjump, language barrier nicely handled and just generally well written and well handled.
      Easily deserves a rating of the full five stars: extraordinarily great story!

      @Dashukta

      and

      @JR

      It's not just hilarious.
      It's also awesome.
      Hilariawesome!

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    143. Its official, Two Steps from Hell is the music of the GODS! I haven't even begun to read the story yet and JUST because of that opening sequence with TSFH I can already tell epicness is to follow!

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    144. I have a new fond love for twilight now.
      story was epic in every sense of the word, it was immersive, the characters were fleshed out and in character.

      I also liked the fact you wrote this for everypony and not just the ones who knew about BattleTech (i didn't!)

      on a scale of 1 to 10,
      i give you a 9001/10
      plus the internets 25 times over. I LOVED THIS STORY.

      Would read again, like, 50 times over. Oh, did i mention how much i love this story? i love it.
      <3 <3 <3

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    145. your story is great can't wait to see if you write more on this like a sequel. I do understand that it might be hard to come up with an idea but it would be so awesome if you did and with that epilogue it seems like it only make me wonder more about what happens next. I do not know anything from battletech but I wonder what the people were talking about at the end. Even if you don't right a sequel, I hope to see more from you.

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    146. I just spent hours reading the entire story, it was just amazing, very well written, I would love to see more stuff like this written by the author.


      I dare say that not even Rainbow Dash could make this story 20% cooler then it already is.

      ReplyDelete
    147. I never heard of BattleTech before this. But if the books are anything like this amazing story, I have a lot more reading to do.

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    148. Yay! Finally finished with the whole story. It's a bittersweet farewell, but at least I can finally review it:

      This may be my favorite MLP fanfic on this site and definitely my favorite crossover. The writing is top notch for an amateur work, the characterization is spot on, the plot starts out a little slow on the pony end, but fleshes out wonderfully. This was a story that was very difficult to put down. The descriptive text was engrossing and the pony-human interactions were totally plausible. In fact, despite the wild separateness of these two fictional universes, none of the story would have felt very out of place in a Battletech novel or an MLP episode (albiet a TV-14 rated one). Also, unlike an unfortunate number of crossovers, this story inserted new factors into Equestria without destroying the unique charm of the land we all love. The epilogue ending was veeeeerrrry interesting. Now we can have pony steampunk! All in all, this is an awesome piece of fanfic and definitely deserves the six star rating.

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    149. Not so much steampunk as diesel-punk. Or since that epilogue engine ran on alcohol, maybe "alcohol-punk?" Nah, that just sounds weird.

      ReplyDelete
    150. Well, I finally managed to read this thing, and it was certainly worth the time. As one who has never previously heard of BattleTech, it was definitely written to be understandable, and the same appears to be true for those unversed in FiM...not that anyone doesn't know about it anymore, right? =P Anyhow, that was a nice touch. The descriptions were definitely the defining feature for me; extremely vivid, yet concise enough to not bog down the whole story.

      [spoiler]
      I'd love to see some form of prequel or side story further explaining the relation between Equestria and Terra. It was suggested that perhaps Equestria is in an alternate dimension, but it seems like you hinted at a far more interesting explanation. If not, I could certainly see more stories spawning from this particular fic-universe, which I would wholeheartedly approve of.
      [/spoiler]

      Great work!

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    151. This was...good. You should write more if you have the time. or,

      (goes to see if the author HAS written anything else.

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    152. LOVED IT! Seriously, one of the best stories ever. Right up there alongside Dangerous Business and Fallout: Equestria. You are an writer of the finest caliber.

      Also I'm liking the idea that Equestria is Earth millions of years in the future, but that doesn't account for constellations. Whatever, hey, alternate universe works too.

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    153. Awesome story! It's a "must read" for all.

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    154. Nice to see folks are still reading this. I was worried fading off the main page this last time would doom it to obscurity.

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    155. Obviously the only correct course of action is to write a sequel to bump it back up to the main page. :D

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    156. Obviously the only correct course of action is to write a sequel to bump it back up to the main page. :D

      ReplyDelete
    157. I think this would be up there with the other Popular Posts if was bumped up more than 2 times

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    158. @duneblaster0

      Heh. Yeah, uploading the whole story at once probably wasn't the best idea publicity-wise.

      To get maximum exposure, I probably should have done an initial upload of, say, the first 4 or 5 chapters followed by weekly updates of one or two chapters.
      But I doubt I would have the patience to wait that out.

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    159. Kudos from another BattleTech/MLP fan who can tell from all the little touches how much you care about both universes! :) I could FEEL the characters exploring the ruins and getting to know each other, and my imagination started running wild: It would be INCREDIBLY tough to find the right balance (and animation style/live-action mix!), but if I won the PowerBall tomorrow I would buy the movie rights from you and start work on this crossover.

      Of course, I would sign my own death warrant in so doing--Twilight struck silent at the majesty of an orbital sunrise on the big screen? Fluttershy squeaking in surround sound, waving her legs as she floated in micrograv? I'd be done for. You already damn near killed me with awesomeness as I read this in a dusty little trailer in Iraq.

      Thanks.

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    160. @Dashukta
      i really hope you write more. you did such a good job with this story. you are one of the best writers i have seen here on EQD. I think that if you released 2 chapters every other day would be good. i did not want to read this right away because it was a crossover of something i have not seen before. last thanks for writing one of the best stories i have read here.

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    161. I put off reading this for quite a while, not because I didn't want to, but because I knew it would be good and was saving it for a long read on a slow day. While the story did not move me as emotionally as some others, the writing and visual descriptions were top tier. The atmosphere I would describe as similar to the best of the oldschool action Saturday morning cartoons I used to enjoy. Tnk ou for a great story. 5*

      ReplyDelete
    162. Full disclosure: I've been playing Battletech continuously since I was five, back in 1989. The fluff text surrounding the universe was almost literally my mother's milk. I never got into the novels.

      I got into MLP earlier this year just to see what everyone was going on about; I wasn't a brony-hater, just "okay, what have the chans wrought this time." I like MLP because it is, at its core, sincerely nice and pleasant. Rather opposite to the gravel-for-breakfast Inner Sphere, but anyway.

      I don't read fan fics, probably for the same reason I haven't read Battletech novels. I've especially stayed away from MLP fics that other people have recommended because they often tend to pull things away from what I see as the core value of the show, which is friendship and... well, niceness.

      So I happen to see this linked and my sense of the absurd gets piqued. "Okay, let's see how this goes."

      So I read about the fighting retreat on Valexa! Lasers! Missiles! Pew pew! Twilight Sparkle reads a book!

      My mind was blown. Is blown. And happily so. Despite the Militiamen eating gravel for breakfast, despite the ponies being so nice that they're afraid of raw nature... both are kept true by sticking to their shared virtue of being about people. The fluff-text and history of Battletech is all about characters and people doing things, where all the technology is simply setting.

      And, as my dad says, people is people. Whether they pilot BattleMechs or they're candy colored ponies.

      Excellent job, sir, staying true to both sources and having them interact on their shared virtue. Also, a nice touch on having the worldly kill-people-for-a-living humans talk Twilight into maintaining her innocence.

      Five Stars is insufficient to rate this story. I instead bid five Trinaries.

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    163. The thing i really, really liked about your story (appart from it being generally fun to read in general, but the big bad evil guy was too obvious!) was the first contact between the "mane cast" and your characters. It was perfect in how "imperfect" it was. THe characters acted.. in character, they didnt understand eachother but used a clever way to communicate anyway. Fluttershy reaction, while kind of bold, was in line with her skills.
      Anyway, i liked that scene a whole lot. It was fun and smart.

      And why i repeat it is because, in many other fics with humans in them the "first contact" is too often .. childish-easy, stupidly-easy. no adaptation, no confusion, nothing, its just skimmed over when i feel its an important part for all characters involved, its missed opportunities.

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    164. Just finished it. I don't know shit about Battle Tech, but this fic was execellent. I loved the interactions between the two groups.

      Pinkie Pie riding shotgun in a mech was just too good.

      5 Stars, man.

      Thank you for writing this. I mean it, thank you.

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    165. I can see from the comments that there are plenty of people who are fans of both source works. I, however, have never heard of Battletech, so this just turned out to be a really good sci-fi story for me.

      Nice choice of character archetype for the villain: The Fundamentalist. Probably one of the easiest archetypes to hate.

      Loved the epilogue. Maybe Equestria can avoid Earth's mistakes with the same technology by sticking with biofuels.

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    166. Just finished the fanfic. At first, I thought it was alright. Nothing spectacular, but it was of reasonable quality for a crossover fanfic.

      And then, I got to chapter 17, and I was left thoroughly disgusted with this fanfic. Let me explain why.

      SPOILERS (obviously)

      Twilight's decision to leave Ackermann stranded in the wilderness as an alternative to having him executed was, at best, the author's poor attempt to express his disdain for capital punishment, and at worst, utter foolish cowardice on the part of Twilight. Think for a minute: how is leaving Ackermann stranded, alone, without tools, food, a hope of redemption, or any future beyond the certainty of death by starvation or wild animals, and the certainty of insanity to to deprivation of social contact, supposed to be a humane alternative to execution? Putting aside the question of whether capital punishment is humane or not for a second (though quite frankly, I don't believe it is inhumane for the law to sentence someone to death), tell me how leaving him to this fate is anything but Twilight attempting to absolve herself of responsibility? By leaving Ackermann stranded in the wilderness, Twilight was not giving him a chance. She was executing him in a way that would allow herself to claim that she wasn't responsible for Ackermann's death. That is cowardice, and nothing else. She couldn't face the thought of being responsible for his death, so tries to rid herself of that responsibility.

      Ackermann didn't actually kill anyone, but he did commit treason. The punishment for treason is death. Therefore, death would have been a just punishment. Again, your beliefs on capital punishment are irrelevant, as are your beliefs on whether capital punishment is fair in this situation. Ackermann knew that the crime he was committing was one that is punishable by death. By doing what he did, he accepted that chance that he would be caught and sentenced to death. Death is, therefore, a just punishment in this case, regardless of whether or not you think it is a fair punishment for that crime. This applies to all laws no matter where you go and no matter what the law is.

      An example of a very different scenario: When Rosa Parks was sent to jail for refusing to give up her bus seat, the jailing was just, since she knew that what she was doing was against the law. The fact that the law was unjust and racist was irrelevant. She knew the consequences, and chose to accept them, and in doing so, made history.

      The same logic should be applied here. Ackermann being punished by death would have been just. So, Twilight's choice to "spare" him was really just her attempt to get Ackermann's fate off her own conscience. If Twilight had argued for a second chance for Ackermann, I would have been mildly annoyed, but I would have written it off as being consistent with her personality and with what we know about ponies. But this? I am absolutely disgusted.

      Feel free to discuss.

      ReplyDelete
    167. Not the author, actually the editor:
      Despite what your high school teacher might suggest, there is not always a deep meaning to everything an author writes. Lord of the Rings was not written as a protest of nuclear warfare and Ackeremann was not stranded as a protest against capital punishment. I’m somewhat indifferent on capital punishment, finding it justified in some cases, and excessive in others.
      In the case of Ackermann, Twilight portrayed her natural curiosity by wanting to know what would happen to him. By your understanding and the morals of the BattleTech universe the “humane” and natural thing to do would be to execute him. The humans in the story even make this point to Twilight. However, the ponies’ culture appears to be anti-capital punishment. When Nightmare Moon attempted to overthrow Princess Celestia and bring about nighttime eternal she wasn’t killed, but banished to the moon for a thousand years. When Discord spread chaos and suffering throughout the world he wasn’t killed, but instead turned to stone. Some might argue that death would have been more humane in these cases as well, but who are we argue with the script writers?
      I think it is also important to consider that Twilight might not have seen banishment as equivalent to certain death as you seem to. He’s being banished in an abandoned city, thus providing shelter and possibly tools, on a world that is far from being inhospitable and full of intelligent creatures with whom he could interact so long as the spell holds. As for being eaten by wild animals, this is not our earth, but Equestria. While he might get eaten by a dragon (which I did consider for an epilogue), most of the inhabitants of Equestria seem fairly peaceful and intelligent; even the cows talk! It is roughly equivalent to being abandoned in a Disney animated universe. I was actually more concerned for the local wildlife that he might harm, more than for his fate. (Can anyone say setup for a possible sequel?)
      So was Twilight being cowardly? Possibly. While she didn’t want Ackermann’s death to be on her conscience, I think it is fair to say that she thought she was giving him a better option, and a less harsh punishment for his crimes. Death might be the punishment that is just in this case, but ponies are used to dealing with people/dragons/cockatrices who have some redeeming qualities and therefore should be given a chance to prove themselves. Obviously, Ackermann doesn’t seem to have any, but that is beside the point. If it makes you feel any better about it, unlike a life sentence in jail, our alternative to death, Ackermann is free and always has the option to throw himself off a cliff if he feels like it.

      ReplyDelete
    168. Not sure if the Author knows about it, but somebody made an actual book out of this story;
      http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/01/nightly-roundup-228.html#more

      http://imgur.com/a/HHStj#1

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    169. @Autobot Burnout

      (Blogger hates me, so hopefully this will work what with the recent changes. Dashukta here, by the way)

      I, um. I actually made that book myself. My wife wanted a hardcopy to hang on to so I adjusted margins and such from the master file and printed one out for her.
      Cutting the pages and gluing the binding was really easy. The most difficult part was finagling the printer to stop trying to resize the cover. Took something like 7 tries to get it the right size.

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    170. @Eric

      Oh, neat! I know that if you could legaly sell that book, I'd certainly buy one.

      Also, just out of curiosity, is The Thessalonica Legacy going to be your only piece of fanfiction here on EqD?

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    171. I don't always read an entire fanfic in a single day, but when I do, it's because BattleMechs are involved.

      No seriously, really good job, your story got me thinking, and as a fellow writer, I know just how much work went into this.

      I just recently rediscovered MechWarriors 4: Vengeance, which was pretty much my entire childhood, and when my friend told me "Actually, you know that game you were playing? I think a found a fic about it, and it's actually pretty good", my goodness did I jump on this one.

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    172. This completely swept aside all my skepticism. I was expecting stereotypes, cliches, bad science, etc. The characterizations, amazing job with setting (esp. when they're trying to discern the location of Equestria), and the jokes make me absolutely love this fic. I think the opening sequence being so non-pony might scare some people off, but this has been one of my favorite fics ever, from someone who has read ALL the 6-star fics.

      On to chapter 8 ! ~~~ I have an idea how this will play out, hoping there's some kind of plot twist.

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    173. Oh my gosh all of my want on that hard copy! I was looking at Lulu but I feel uncomfortable "publishing" Dashukta's work just so I can have a physical copy. Guess I'm out of luck.

      Nonetheless, glad to see there are still new comments here, as this is by far the best fan-fiction I have ever read, and the only one to be read more than once! Yay!

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    174. @BusinACE_Brony
      I printed out a hardcopy for my own use a little over a month ago. Simple do-it-yourself paperback bookbinding is pretty easy. Shoot me an email (my email is linked in chapter 1 of the googledoc) and I can either walk you through it or maybe print one up for you.

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    175. This was so perfect! The story elements, though a bit contrived as you mentioned, flowed flawlessly into my fantasies! Since I was young, mixing other subjects and Battletech has been a bit of a hobby, so this came across as a perfect extension of that very dream!

      Thank you for giving us this beautifully written story, and another interesting series of possibilities for my beloved Battletech! I'll remember this one for a long time to come!

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