• Story: Maiden Flight

    [Normal] Sootalove!

    Author: Cold in Gardez
    Description: The ever-humble Rainbow Dash has selflessly agreed to give Scootaloo a wing-up on Flight School with a few lessons. Twilight Sparkle, however, has her doubts...
    Maiden Flight

    Additional Tags: Flyyyying! Mentoring, Ponyville, Not-Scootabuse

    36 comments:

    1. It was a quite decent read.

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    2. Very cute with a nice bit of humor =).

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    3. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't Dash being an actually good teacher.

      Nice fic!

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    4. I liked this story for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being that Rainbow Dash didn't have to end up relying on Twilight and her books to teach Scootaloo. (Not that there's anything wrong with books, but they aren't the ONLY way of knowing/learning.) I liked the way you described what it felt like to fly, the sound of the wind, how to turn or fly higher, landing. I liked Rainbow Dash's quiet moment with Scootaloo on the cloud.

      And, of course, I liked Twlight Sparkle spying on her friends in her pith helmet!

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    5. Went in hoping for Twilight catching Dash in the act of Scootabuse.
      Came out smiling.

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    6. I love this portrayal of Dash and Scoots... great read. And flying does sound really awesome.

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    7. Scootaloo is supposed to be too young to fly on the show but at the end of The Mare In The Moon we see two even younger pegusi fly up to put a wreath of flowers around Luna's neck.

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    8. I love the tag "Not-Scootabuse". Because it has to be clarified.

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    9. Heee! I like this. I've got a story cooking in a similar vein. Very nice.

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    10. Okay, this story made me smile. A very heartwarming read.

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    11. One bit of constructive criticism; some of the "big words" used throughout the story are rather groan-inducing. It's not that the use of those words is bad, but using so many of them, even when used properly and in a way the readers can understand what they mean, makes it look like the writer is trying too hard, and it gets annoying fast.

      It's still a good story, and I gave it 5 stars, but my real rating would probably have to be 4.5 because of the word abuse alone.

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    12. Lovely bit of Scootalove, this one. It was a joy to read and I didn't even catch any spelling error (surprisingly rare in a fanfic). It was both sweet and funny, I chuckled out loud involuntarily a few times.

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    13. Yeah... I liked it. Not much to add. Just a nice short story.

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    14. Seth, quick question...

      What's Sootalove?

      Is that a mispelling of Sortalove?

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    15. @Torrential Rains

      I think it's short for "RaInbow Dash and Scootaloo in character, d'awwwwww" or something like that.

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    16. It's the opposite of Scootabuse, which is the terrible habit of many fanfic writers to portray Dash as a uncaring sadist around Scootaloo.

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    17. @Kits and Anon 12:52

      TR is pointing out that Seth misspelled "Scootalove." Notice the lack of a C.

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    18. Nicely done. Good job.

      I particularly like that "taut" is used properly. I still don't believe how many people substitute "taught". I know, it's only a single word out of probably hundreds, but it's nice to see it being the right word.

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    19. @Luke

      I disagree.

      6starz!

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    20. I feel like someone should make a flash movie featuring clips of Dash abusing Scootaloo interspersed with clips from the show of her being a good person and flashes of text on the screen that beseech Scootabuse authors to take a good hard look at themselves, all set to Bruno Mars' "Grenade".

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    21. @Luke 'Palpated' is the one that stuck out for me. Now, Twilight would probably use that word, and giving the narrative voice the same style as the viewpoint character is certainly a good stylistic device, but I don't think that's what the author was trying to do here.

      (Although, I'm not sure that it's actually used correctly, as palpation usually involves fingers.)

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    22. @Torrential Rains And yet you failed to notice 'Sortalove' in your own post. Muphry's Law strikes again!

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    23. This was really a nice story, you portray the characters well and it really creates a "feel-good" story. thanks for sharing, I really liked it!

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    24. Fun little read that didn't out-stay it's welcome and brought a little smile to my face. What more did it need than that?

      Only thing that caught m off guard was being surprised that Applebloom and Sweetie Bell weren't noted around her for her first flight, surely they'de not miss it? But then, it didn't really need them either, so I'm not considering this a criticism so much as an observation. ^^

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    25. Very well done short story! Very much in character, and short enough to enjoy in a short amount of time!

      As for the technical jargon mentioned earlier, I actually really enjoyed it. As a pilot, I admit that many of us don't know much more than flying our planes, but we'd talk about the basics (four forces of flight, density altitude's effect on performance, the altitude/airspeed relationship, etc. found in the story) as casually as RD did. And even in the real world, all the book-learning in the world won't give a student the confidence or the hands. Impressively done, obviously well-researched, and a fun read overall!

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    26. This is EXACTLY how I imagine RD as a flight teacher.

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    27. >Additional Tags: >Not-Scootabuse

      -It better be !

      Now, reading...

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    28. A good story to end a good day.

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    29. This was the cutest thing ever. I had a longer response, but it got eaten.

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    30. Rainbow Dash has a lot of knowledge about flying, obviously, and being ''her'' also means that she often jump a lot of security measures, of course. ;)

      Feels like there was maybe a bit too much focus on RD, instead of Scootaloo, not sure.

      Minor detail, but... I wonder what happened to that ''friend'' that 'day' ?

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    31. That was an incredibly sweet story. Very IC the whole way through.
      Only thing I didn't like was using the word "garish" to describe Dash's mane. That's not how you spell awesome.

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    32. read rainbow factory it mentions this story and its kinda creepy

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