• Story: The First Prince (Update Part 2 Interludes)

    [Grimdark] [Adventure] There was some confusion on links with this one, so I'm reposting it. Sorry guys!


    Author: Chaucer345
    Description: Prince Blueblood the 23rd learns how his family was formed as Princess Celestia tells him the story of his line's unlikely founder.
    The First Prince Part 1
    The First Prince Part 2
    The First Prince Part 3
    The First Prince Part 4
    The First Prince Part 5
    The First Prince Interlude 1 (New!)
    The First Prince Interlude 2 (New!)

    Additional Tags: History, Political, Hopeful, Origins, Framed

    80 comments:

    1. "her mane looked like a bur’s nest"

      What the heck is a "bur?" And does it nestle in Alicorns?

      "Every extra bit of heat made the conditions got worse and worse for planting."

      I think you mean "get"

      Great story so far! Seems more like a combination of shipping, comedy, grimdark and adventure, really.

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    2. "I felt a little shiver down my spine as that deadly weapon inched away and those soft feathers ran across my-"

      Somehow you made wingblades even more phallic than swords, good job.

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    3. @Stephen Cawking

      They're those spiny seed things

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    4. @Stephen Cawking

      http://www.thefreedictionary.com/bur

      I had to google it too lol

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    5. An interesting story! Some of the sentence structure and dialog seemed a bit off; you may want to proofread again. The story itself has drawn me in, and I'm very interested to hear how things turn out, both for Blueblood #1, and for Blueblood #23, who hopefully will learn to not be such an ass from Celestia's story.

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    6. @Chanticleer

      Please tell me these comments aren't going to devolve into 5 pages of "stallionhood" jokes.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Oh, amazing. Absolutely...I was in tears, of all possible kinds. Worth the mix-up from earlier, and at least this time there are no pointless ratings.

      Five stars from me, and I expect to be able to continue giving five stars!

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    8. @Anonymous

      Sorry I couldn't restrain myself...

      Darn this is hard...

      Wait, hold on a minute...

      *Facehoofs*

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    9. Loving this so far, though it seems like it should have the shipping tag as well.

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    10. So bluebood's ancestor was a colt cuddler who had a biological son...somehow?

      Whelp...I just stopped caring.

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    11. Could stand for a bit of editing, but I like the premise. I also like the switch between third and first person narrative style -- helps keep things straight.

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    12. @Benschanchar Homophobia? Really? In 2011?

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    13. Brilliant story. I feel like Blueblood the First being homosexual was kind of unecessary, but perhaps it was on the list of things to make him feel more of an opposite of the 23rd. More things that stand out, and so on and so forth.

      All in all, great story, can't wait for more.

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    14. @Anonymous
      Not good at reading between the lines, are ya?

      He either cheated on his wife or his lover. Or some other weird thing.

      More to the point...why?

      Isn't the story of how a lowly earth pony rose to power enough.

      That and I hate shipping in general.

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    15. TV Tropes says that his Fanon name was "Prince Astron" for a while. They sure got the "Ass" part right.

      That said, this is a pretty interesting story. I'll definitely be watching for updates.

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    16. No idea why I clicked on this story, guess more a curiosity about why anyone would write about Blueblood, and I am a bit surprised that I read more then a few sentences...

      This story is surprisingly good. I'll hold my critiques till more chapters are released though. Still, fixing a few grammar issues and maybe make it a bit less confusing on a couple scenes who is speaking would go a long way to bettering this story for everyone else.

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    17. @Benschachar You don't actually know though, you're just being a dick because "omg gay guy with a kid!"

      I suppose the fact gays in real life also have biological children without adultery would blow your mind.

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    18. @Anonymous

      Again...why.

      He has a direct biological descendant but the author has to sink eye-rolling depths of the Het is Ew shippers.

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    19. PLEASE do finish this one.

      I like your take on Celestia's mother. Thats unique.

      I like how Luna thought he was someone else, then we learn who that someone else was. Its a great way to direct the flow of the story.

      I like the character development of Blue Blood.

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    20. @Benschachar Because why not. Not even a rhetorical question, but a statement. Because why not.

      And besides, this is like fanfic #3 of all the ones on EqD with a homosexual male in it. I sure as hell don't see you complaining about the lesbian fics.

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    21. I am curious how a working class earth pony could be named "Blueblood" considering the term's origin as a point of pride for people who did not work for a living.

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    22. @Anonymous
      I have criticized the fact that 90% of pairings are lesbians.

      Sorry but the fic crossed a line into wish fulfillment.

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    23. The author wishes he was a gay horse who nearly got assassinated by racists?

      ...That's a weird thing to accuse someone of. You're weird man. Weird.

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    24. @Benschachar

      Your grammar is incomprehensible.

      Now we know not to take you seriously in the slightest.

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    25. @ZarPaulus

      Yeah I was wondering about that as well. It's really strange for a pony who actually earns his title to be called "Blueblood." Especially since pony names are always descriptive of the pony in question.

      Oh and Mr. Benschacher, does it disturb you that you sound exactly like Blueblood does in the story? Because it should.

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    26. @Stephen Cawking
      @Anonymous

      Insulting them because of their opinions regarding the story makes you far worse than them, I assure you.

      @Benschachar

      The story's only two chapters in; it could end up going in any direction and all we know is the character is gay. So chill the fuck out and quit making assumptions.

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    27. @Anonymous

      All forms of shipping are wish fulfillment.

      ReplyDelete
    28. @Stephen Cawking
      Why?

      Because I think the fandom is a little obsessed with slash?

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    29. @Benschachar

      "All forms of shipping are wish fulfillment."

      Nope.avi

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    30. >reads comments

      >sees "gay"

      omg must read nao....

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    31. Okay, done. Having read, i can only come to one conclusion:

      You
      Are
      AWESOME...

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    32. Gay ponies? In my Equestria? Why the hell not. As to "All shippings being wish fulfilment"? Utter bullshite. And seriously dude, the reason most of the shippings are female/female ships is because 100% of the Main cast, about 70% backing cast and a majority of the filler ponies are all female. It leaves you with about a dozen Males to use. The main male on the show isn't even the same species as the rest of the cast. Presumably, there is a in story reason for Blueblood th first to be gay. It does certainly evoke the question BLueblood asked at the end of the second chapter anyways. I like the fic and will enjoy it for what it is. If you don't like, don't read.

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    33. Please ignore any neighsayers, I am greatly enjoying the premise of this fic, quite interesting. It's well written too, which is usually the most important thing. I look forward to more.
      It all makes me wish we'd get a cutie mark chronicles for the princesses. I'd love some of that backstory.

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    34. Plenty of influential people who happened to be gay also had biological children.

      Unfortunately, their heterosexual marriages often were unhappy, seeing as they were denying a part of themselves.


      Incidentally, I find homosexual shipping only a little strange with characters that exhibit contrary behaviour in the show without giving an explanation for said contradiction(!); Examples would be Spike (that should go without saying), Rarity (who was daydreaming about her prince charming) and Rainbow (who flew away foreleg-in-foreleg with two Wonderbolt males). If the explanation is good enough, I don't see a problem.

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    35. You do realize the laffer curve only hits the 'negative' side of the equation at around a 70% taxation rate, right? And that aside from pure command economies, no country has the sort of taxation rate? If Blueblood was raising that taxation rate that high, he'd have other problems besides the curve to worry about.

      Honestly is sounds to me like you just wantted to add a 'look at how stupid he is' but frankly, using the Laffer Curve as some sort of mystical incantation against taxes reflects your own ignorance on the subject.

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    36. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    37. @Anonymous

      Dear Anon,

      I actually feel really depressed about your comment. I admit that my research involving Laffer curves included only a check through Wikipedia and what I’d garnered from an intro economics course. I thought, from Wikipedia and its links, that Laffer curve estimates of maximized revenue varied pretty widely. I further assumed that that implied that under different economic circumstances, relatively high income taxes would have different effects and was vague about the industrial setup of Blueblood’s cities for just that purpose.

      For the record, I put it in there because I thought it was an interesting bit of economics that seems counter intuitive until you really look at it. It wasn’t supposed to make Blueblood look dumb so much as look like he wasn’t paying very close attention or thinking too in depth on things. Celestia in preparing for the meeting had studied up on the economic status of the cities under Blueblood’s control and noticed that they were particularly vulnerable to tax increases due to other circumstances.

      If you’re saying that 70% is the be all end all then, despite what Wikipedia said estimates varying widely, I’m willing to concede your superior knowledge, but I thought it would be more complicated than that.

      By the way, and I’m quite serious about this, do you have any interest in vetting economics ideas in other chapters for me? I have something coming up about spurring economic growth by relaxing tariffs on a certain type of goods and thus making a new market more accessible. If I’m way off with that, I’d really like to know.

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    38. I'm liking this fic so far. Can't wait for more.

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    39. @Chanticleer

      And I do believe you are correct about the Laffer curve being more complicated that some predetermined tax rate. The peak of the laffer curve is heavily dependent on the culture and laws of the particular nation you are measuring. It could be 70% for the USA, I don't know. I haven't seen any statistics on that. But even if it is, I'm sure it's not 70% for every country in the world, let alone a fictional pony-populated nation. Though I do suspect the percentage is on the higher end. People won't stop working until they are taxed to an extreme.

      And to the Anon's point that no nation has a tax rate over 70%, in the 1940's and 1950's, the highest marginal income tax bracket for the US was about 90%. And the lowest tax bracket in those years was higher than our current highest tax bracket (roughly 38%). So it has happened in the past.

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    40. Well, chapter 3 had a complete "OH
      SH-" moment. And now i want more. Grammar and spelling could be better, but hey, if I can read it, I will.

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    41. Ugh, Laffer curve. The Laffer curve was used as part of the foundation for Reagonomics and all the boneheaded 'If we cut taxes we'll /actually raise revenue/' idiocy we've been subjected to in the US.

      I'm sure Blueblood would love Laffer curves, since they're so handy as a front for the shifting of the tax burden onto the common classes.

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    42. I can't help but sympathies with Blueblood (what a horrible thought *shudders*) after reading chapter 3 i NEED to know more. Please keep up the awesome work man! :D

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    43. Now that is what I call a cliffhanger. Kick flank work in there :)

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    44. "I took a moment and tried to imagine what sort of hideous alien creature would think like that. Oh wait… politicians. "

      Oh that line is so good, I don't even know what to say.

      I have to admit though, I was thrown off a little when the 1st prince said “It’s totally cool man." Did he always talk like that? And shouldn't it be "pony," and not "man?" Or, "drake" at the very least?

      "She was actually keeping us airborne with sheer telekinetic power. "

      This is awesome. You know, it's a shame we don't see more crazy feats of unicorn magic in fanfics. I've been waiting for Twilight to get pissed and chuck a mountain at somepony for ages now... maybe I'll write it.

      "SWEATY DRAGON BALLS"

      The arch mage should really watch her language in front of poor old Crest.

      Great chapter. Hard to believe that nearly half of it is spent arranging a dung exchange.

      I noticed a pretty serious error near the end though, where Aurora says "entirely selfish reasons.” There shouldn't be an end quote, because she continues in the next paragraph. Otherwise, it's implying that Blueblood is the one talking about getting some sleep.

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    45. @Chanticleer

      70% is hardly the be all end all, but it's very rare to get studies that put anywhere near a reasonable low end. Honestly the studies I'm actually familiar with tend to put it higher than 70%.

      You are correct that it can heavily depend culture and how people react, but that's where my second problem comes in. If Blueblood is running a principality under Celestia, he's still part of the same nation, and beholden to the same overall laws.

      The basic problem isn't that it couldn't be done, but that in order to do so the economy would have to be substantially different from the economy in the rest of the state.

      On the other hand, that could provide a justification for a naturally Laffer Curve esque taxation sceme. If the rest of Equestria has lower tax brackets, it makes sense to incorporate within the lower tax areas. Preforming a Laffer like function without the traditional total decrease in economic activity.

      No, your tarrifs ideas work.

      Well to be fair there is some disputation about it, but there's always some disputation about any economic thought (like anything else). The best solution would be to agree to lower his own tarrifs in exchange for countered lowered tarrifs by equivalent countries.

      @Vyuun

      But that's marginal tax rate, not total tax rate.

      Yes theoretically, people should only care about marginal tax rate, but one really interesting bit of economic research is that they don't. People are terrible at making economic decisions and tend to treat the total taxation as their actual number, especially in more complicated tax systems. I've actually seen this as an argument for complicated tax systems, as it can remove part of the inherent Laffer problem.

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    46. @Clockworkchaos

      True enough.

      This story keeps getting better. Can't wait for the next chapter!

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    47. So Luna tried to throw herself into the fire to kill herself? well, it is a terrible and depressing era they live in, her older sister is a wreck and she was of no use to anyone?

      I have no idea just trying to imagine why she'd want to kill herself and leave her poor older sister to live on in such a depressing time alone, only to hear Luna had died which would likely have driven Celestia mad with grief with all she's been going through.

      Great story! I didn't think I'd ever be so eager for a story of Blueblood (admittedly more his linage then himself) but still something I keep looking forward to and even that long talk about manure for what 'seemed like eternity' I had not once lost interest or grew bored reading this. I am anxious to see how this all plays out in the next chapter!

      5*/5*

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    48. We need a Blueblood/Fresh Prince remix.

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    49. @Stephen Cawking

      Fixed the quotation, thank you for pointing it out. That's an important moment and I'd hate for it to be ruined by a punctuation error.

      And I will freely admit I was struggling with the "anyone" v "anypony" stuff in chapter 3. The "It's totally cool man" came as a compromise because I wasn't sure if I could justify Blueblood 1 knowing the proper address of "drake", given that he has been largely unexposed to dragons before this.

      In story, please take it as him being really, really flustered. :)

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    50. I don't really get it. But then again, I don't get shipping in general. It's stupid, gay or not. Also, the story itself was kinda confusing, but that could be because it's 3AM. Btw, congrats on 3,000,000 page views, everypony.

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    51. I know I'm late to the party, but I just wanted to say that I'm loving this so far ; w ;

      I can't help but make assumptions like "omg he must have been in an unhappy marriage if he has a biological kid" or "omg what if he had a kid with Luna or something since Luna thought 23 was 1 for a minute there" but I'm hoping that you'll find a unique route in all this, what with other readers making assumptions left and right and all xD;;

      I always liked Blueblood to a certain degree so just the fact that this fic even exists makes me very very happy! (The gayness involving males for once is just a rare, happy bonus <3)

      Keep up the good work!

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    52. ohhhhh wow that was awsome! you ARE gonna make more right????????????????????/

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    53. @mizu-takishima

      Gasp! That would explain Luna's reaction to the 23'rd prince and why an earth pony has a unicorn descendant.

      Though you would think that Luna's reaction to seeing 23 would be a little warmer. Also she's really, really young in 1's time.

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    54. @Stephen Cawking

      True, but there could be a time-skip XD It's really hard to tell in just 3 chapters in, so I guess we'll have to wait and see!

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    55. yikes! almost 3 weeks sense the last chapter, Please, pleas, PLEASE, don't be a dead story T_T

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    56. I'm so glad to see that this story hasn't been abandoned. I think you do a more than credible job of presenting #23 in all his insufferable glory while still giving him a bumbling, half-formed heart that feels authentic and inspires sympathy. As for the larger part of the story, I have an inordinate fondness for political machinations which this fic scratches all too well. Please, don't stop!

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    57. YES! another update! Thank you Chanticleer. though now i have to wait for another update.. T_T

      oh well. really fun chapter, and i have to say blueblood the 23rd is surprisingly well written! keep up the awesome work ^_^

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    58. As Chris pointed out, the development going on with Prince #23 is great. Love the dynamic between him and Celestia.

      Also love how this has like 20 readers when it deserves way more. Could be that it has something to do with Blueblood's smug face being on the cover? I suggest replacing him with a picture of Luna and watching the readership soar.

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    59. @Wraithwood

      It's me who should be thanking you for keeping me on task man. Seriously, with how crazy life's been I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed writing this piece.

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    60. @Stephen Cawking

      I've been seriously debating begging someone to draw me a more appropriate picture, but I don't want to sound whiny.

      Honestly I'm also worried that the grimdark tag turns people off, but I'm not sure how I could do this story without the contrast so it had to be added. I'm still debating if I should ask the blog to add shipping and comedy tags or something.

      *Sigh* I suppose I just have "Fallout Equestria" envy with my current tag setup. Honestly I'd rather have twenty readers who are genuinely hanging on the edge of their seat than 200 who's only comment is "Eh, it's alright".

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    61. I hate you and your cliffhangers. I am desperate to know what happens next. I NEED to know! PLEASE JUST A LITTLE MORE!!! I VANTS IT! PLEEEEASE!

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    62. I am loving this story. Seeing the contrast between Blueblood the First and Blueblood the Assho--I mean, Blueblood the Twenty-Third is great. Great to see how Celestia's story is actually awakening some feelings of interest and compassion in #23 and also inspiring him to . . . *gasp* . . . THINK!

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    63. "why couldn't I help directly with Discord"

      Because I'm too sexy, and stole her elements.

      joking aside, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

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    64. This is perhaps the only intermittent story I find myself actively waiting for. It provides such a unique take on the history, the sisters, and Blueblood himself. I wish it would update more frequently.

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    65. @Cold in Gardez

      I apologize for chapter 5 taking so long to come out. Believe it or not, over 3000 words of chapter 6 are already written. The chapter got cut in half after I realized that I really needed to spend some time on Luna's story.

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    66. Hey, this is a pretty good story! I'm glad I saw it on the updates! I'll keep an eye on it for future chapters.

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    67. Wow, i beg you please update frequently...good story

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    68. Love it. SO MUCH. Hopefully you'll update often, I need this story.

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    69. This is a very good story, brings to mind things like the strike-breaking of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, plus the dark age peasant suffrage thing. Other the nebulous time period is strange, sort of implies minimal change in certain areas of society. Eh, they got magic and nigh-immortal divine rulers so it can be handwaved.

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    70. I've missed this story so much! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? D:

      (Glad to see you back!)

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    71. @Cátsy

      Um... that's a complicated question. You see originally I had planned to release an entirely different chapter next (Luna's story) and then put down the (largely) already written chapter after that, but I sort of ran into an artistic conundrum.

      Basically I had set myself up so that I would be introducing a character, killing her off in the very same chapter, and then expecting that death to have emotional weight...

      I very quickly realized that that just wasn't going to work. The poor girl does not deserve to be a red-shirt. She needed a back story. So I sat down, cracked my hooves and started writing Agnus Dei.

      And then when I was writing it, the plot started getting really complicated for what was at first intended to be a short-short story. Plus I was dealing with subject matter that was extremely volatile, both due to the way these subjects are viewed, and personally as the character is based on an old... I guess she was an enemy... of mine, so it was not easy to write.

      In the end it ended up weighing in at ~13000 words total, which if I remember the figures is about four times the length of a minimum word count story update. Factor in the unfortunate intervention of real life and this update took a REALLY long time.

      I'm really sorry about the delay guys. I hope the product is substantial enough to make up for it at least a little.

      -Chaucer345

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    72. @Chanticleer Oh my... *hugs* well, I'm for one glad to have you back and see you were able to solve your writers block with how you'd be able to introduce a character that wasn't just some mere throwaway.


      You know, I could name quite a few stories that authors always 'intended' to be a simple short story lol I suppose I should begin reading now.


      P.S, It may have been some time, but, thank you for not giving up on this story! If lesbian horses can be so prominent in fanon, then by Luna, this fic is exactly what Gay Stallions need as an example of how male relationships can form in unlikely circumstances. That sorta came out wrong, I mean more adventure/hero fics that show a character is more than what he drags with them in bed at night. If that makes anymore sense...

      In short "Don't give in to haters or it'll just breed more by justifying their ignorance!" sort of thing I guess ^^ Plus, this is just so well written! (that kinda goes without saying I suppose lol but a bit of positive reinforcement never killed too many!)

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