• Story: Nocturne (Update complete!)

    [Sad][Normal] Sad Luna? Sad Luna. Have you guys looked at her section in the archive yet? It's a freakin rainbow with all those (6 Star) tags. I really hope Season Two doesn't completely destroy her fanon.

    Author: CupcakesNom

    Description: Princess Luna's memories and connection to the Moon have been missing since her return to Canterlot, and every day she gets more and more guilty that she hasn't taken any responsibilities back from her overburdened sister. Surely something in Equestria can make her whole again, but who or what could it be?
    Nocturne Part 1
    Nocturne Part 2 (New!)

    Additional Tags: Bittersweet, Luna's Search For Herself

    75 comments:

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Nines, I've poked Sethisto 'n' Friends about it. It needs to have an Incomplete tag, since this is a Part 1 of 2, and it's also [Normal][Sad], not just a sadfic. It's more of a ... personal growth, overcoming hardships piece. It's definitely NOT meant to be purely a tearjerker.

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    3. ohhh i want more!

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    4. I certainly hope season two doesn't completely destroy the fanon version of Luna.

      But, inevitably, some things won't survive the transition.

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    5. Backup link in case you need it! I just replaced the "edit" with "preview" in the URL and here it is:

      https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XH4SDgbvUzyfS_3bKzrdlNqIT9Q5vCzbvgeoAmhQsmQ/preview?hl=en_US&authkey=CNvlrJoO

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    6. ~hugs Luna~
      I'll help you get back on your hoofs if you'd like ^^

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    7. This seems far too happy to be a sadfic.

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    8. "...hardly a clop to be heard as she drew nearer." Why must my mind throw itself straight into the gutter?

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    9. Great read so far...I can't wait to see what you do with the follow up.

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    10. ... You know what, I'm just going to stop commenting on Luna stories. They're all too amazing for words.

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    11. Aww yea bromide, you ready for. Another 6star Luna story? I can feel the epic in this one!

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    12. @Anonymous
      Sorry mention bronies stupid auto spell check

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    13. So it's Luna stories that get lots of six-star ratings...

      Time to go plan my Luna-centric Fallout/Bioshock/Final Fantasy crossover with a cast of twenty-six angst-ridden OCs and at least one overt reference to "Cupcakes".

      *I keed*

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    14. Fanon Luna is very different depending on what fic you read. I'm guessing melancholy fanon Luna will be a thing of the past when Season 2 hits though.

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    15. In my personal opinion, this wasn't really that sad of a fanfic. I actually found it quite inspiring, and the author was very clever in the way Luna discovers that her beautiful nights were in fact not ignored, and highly appreciated enough to make some of the best music. I'd recommend, when 'Nocturne' is mentioned, to jump onto YouTube and search for Frederic Chopin: Nocturne No.1 Op.9. Because once that song is going, the story (either by coincidence or incredible literary talent) aligns extremely well with the narrative.

      Definitely, this story is a solid example of why the MLP:FiM fandom is what makes this series so delightful to follow.

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    16. I'm psyched to read the end of this. Luna is hands down my favorite character, as developed by the fandom. As everypony will agree, I hope her character matches that given to her by the fandom. You are a literary master. Never have I wanted so much to read the ending of a story. Please, don't stop, keep on writing. We await the finale.

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    17. Okay, now that I've sat in the time-out corner for a little while and read the rest of the story, I'm once again blown away by a very well-written Luna story. Seriously, no matter the interpretation, our favorite moon goddess is always pretty much guaranteed to be amazing. Of course, only one Luna will survive once Season 2 rolls around. No offense, but I'm personally rooting for Progress Luna.

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    18. I fear it with every passing day what canon Luna is going to end up like. I really, really hope the story writers have paid attention to fandom Luna.

      Because it's going to be a very jarring experience for fans if she's the mirror opposite of what they expect.

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    19. @Anon. Unfortunately I very much doubt the writers have payed attention to fanfics at all--there's a world of potential legal hurt if they do.

      Let's say some writer peeks at "Progress". Now, if they have ANYTHING like that, they open themselves to a suit. Not that this fan base would do that, but it's pretty much standard practice to ignore fan-content when you're writing for a show.

      I seem to remember Lauren posting something like that on her DA. =/

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    20. I enjoyed it. I'll definately have to check out part two when it's up.

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    21. loved it. looking forward to the next part.

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    22. It's quite interesting, yes.

      I especially liked the mentions of Celestia being a Painter and Luna being a Composer. :)

      Also, it makes me want to find a fitting song ;) ...I have a few in mind.

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    23. I quite liked this. Looking forward to see where it goes from here.

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    24. Umm... Dusk's Nocturne anypony? I think this song matches perfectly.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd9qQiwhP5U

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    25. Thank you to those who took the time to read this, and particularly to let me know they enjoyed it. I very much appreciate it!

      I didn't have one particular song in mind for this. I purposely wanted to leave that up to the "mind's ear" of each reader. However I'm very glad that some of you have found different songs that particular strike you as relevant to this story, and encourage you all to share them with us all!

      Part 2, which will complete this story, should be coming within the next 7-14 days. I've found that the entire writing, editing, and fine-tuning cycle of something this emotional and carefully planned is much longer than anything else I've written. I look forward to sharing a finished product with you all!

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    26. I want more! MOAR!

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    27. I love this story! It captures the Ceestia and Luna in just the perfect light. I anticipate the second half eagerly.

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    28. The night sounds as music. Luna as the composer. Beautiful. Thank you for this thought.

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    29. Thank you for your kind words! I'm actually about ~3100 words into part 2, though half of that still needs at least one more editing pass...

      Anyway, my hope is to finish Nocturne this weekend. I am considering releasing what I have so far as part 2 and making part 3 be the conclusion... But I'm not so sure about that.

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    30. Luna is awesome, and fics where she moves towards being happy again are also awesome. I'm very much looking forward to this being finished.

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    31. Well, it's done! And all it took was the overwhelming majority of my sanity! :D

      WOO! WOO! WOO!

      Ahem. So, uh, yes, please open fire with all constructive criticism available! Thank you, and thanks for reading!

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    32. Blank slate characters are way too much fun, and it's always great to watch a fandom just run with them in the absence of cannon content. In a small way I wish Luna weren't returning in season 2 so that all of our varying takes on her would never be wrong.

      Were the show aimed at an older audience I'm sure the cannon writers would have a field day making Luna into a seriously awesome character. Unfortunately it's aimed at children so will never really be given a hardy chance to develop into something really deep.

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    33. You should just change the 6-Star tag to the "Luna Award" and call it a day.

      After this fic get's awarded it, I should add, because the final two chapters were fantastic.

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    34. This was beautiful. It had just that perfect amount of sadness that doesn't bog down the entire mood. The sad parts were sad, but they made the happy parts that much happier. This was a great story, and I'm glad I read it.

      Also, I want to hear the Nocturne pieces.

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    35. I already rated this five stars when I read part one, but after reading parts 2 and 3 I wish I could give it another five star rating. Or maybe six. This is just amazing. I loved having Luna as a composer and weaving melodies into the night using the sounds around them. Great development of Luna (and Celestia) too.

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    36. I've been looking forward to this for a while! *Reads with a huge grin on his face*

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    37. Wow. Now that's an awesome ending. I especially like that this could be canon without a hitch, and would really explain some of why Celestia acts like she does.

      5 Stars and a Moon!

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    38. ..........................
      You owe me a new heart, seeing as mine just shattered.

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    39. Oh my goodness, what he(↑) said. T-T

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    40. That was amazing. I particularly loved the interaction between Luna and Sweetie Belle.

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    41. This is amazing. I really can't think of what to say beyond that. Luna is by far my favorite character, and I believe that the author here captured her perfectly. I have a song on my iPod that I wrote and recorded with myself playing a few instruments (layered the audio)that I listened to during the scene where Luna shows Aura the new song, and it went beautifully. This is by far my favorite fan fiction of anything. This seriously brought tears to my eye, and I'm normally a pretty cold person. Beautiful work.

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    42. My only regret is that I have already given this story a 5 star rating.

      Thank you for connecting Luna to me. This is my favorite Luna interpretation yet.

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    43. This is a wonderful story. Love it. Love the ending. But the link in the final story to more stories doesn't work for me.

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    44. Thank you once again for sharing this amazing story. It was a pleasure to read, and it really tugs at the heart in just the right way. I still say that it's not a sadfic, even though it has one of the saddest things I've ever read. I like how those sad moments have their purpose, and you never lose your grip on the musical themes of the story, how every composition has its parts, and how each part can be commemorated to our memories. Seriously, an amazing read, and quite a good bedtime story for myself, thank you.

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    45. You had me bawling my eyes out. Such emotion ... I had forgotten why I read. But your story made me remember why. The raw emotion, feeling the experience, connecting with the characters, knowing their thoughts in a way you don't get in tv shows or movies. I was becoming bored with the library's selection of fantasy... (when you've read Harry Potter, Eragon, Ranger's Apprentice, The Chronicles of Pellinor, and numerous other series, you start running out of options) and this story took my heart and wrenched it out into plain view. My little sister and I have this thing where we pick which character we are. While I am undoubtedly Twilight Sparkle, (due to the aforementioned love of books, plus my tendency to read as I'm walking and completely ignore people) my little sister says that she is Luna. I had a real emotional connection to Celestia in this one, as I physically felt the pain of banishing my own sister. Thank you. Your writing was intense, concentrated, and powerful in a way rarely seen in even the best novels. Please make more, I'm interested to see how Luna handles her dual life as both Princess and Snooty. (Perhaps something from Sweetie Belle's perspective???) Thanks again!!!

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    46. Well, that was very enjoyable. I loved Luna's conversation with Sweetie Belle. I always worry a bit when the crusaders come into play, because I fear people might give them their cutie mark. This doesn't have to be bad I suppose,. but it certainly can be and I prefer to keep it open until the show (if it ever will) handles the subject. Also, I think you got her personality down pretty good. That did seem like something Sweetie Belle figure out.

      Chapter 3 was interesting. I didn't really feel sorry for Aura. Not because I didn't care for the character, but because you just know she was quite happy to go. No regrets. But the way you handled Luna... I held my breath there for a bit. Which is funny, because you know things will turn out all right from the very beginning of chapter one. Still, there were many what-ifs going through my head as Luna struggled with things.

      And then the note at the beginning and the end... Its not original, its been done many times before. But it definitely was handled better then average here. It just really works. I can't even pinpoint why, but yeah... It really wraps everything up.

      And that's it, really. Don't have anything else to say.

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    47. Best luna fic sofar :) and that is not something small!

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    48. @CupcakesNom
      He's not kidding. I've 'watched' him pound his head against the wall for days on this project. But yeah, sanity os overrated anyway amiright?

      Besides, it was worth it. What's one author's sanity compared to getting to see the CMC chase glowing faeryflies?

      I know I told you this already cups, but you nailed that scene so hard. Everypony was so in character. Scootaloo--- HNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG

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    49. HNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!
      YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes~
      god i had waited long to read those 2 chapters!
      and they were Amazing!
      5 stars. and if somepony just dares to give it anything else.
      TO THE MOON.

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    50. Congrats. This story made me break my 'no fanfiction' rule, and it was so worth it. Incredibly well written.

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    51. ZAquanimus said...
      ..........................
      You owe me a new heart, seeing as mine just shattered.

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    52. Dat ending, man. I couldn't have written it better myself.

      This was a very enriching read. Thank you for that.

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    53. love it. I can't put in words how much I love it.

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    54. I think I just had a d'awwwneurysm.

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    55. I love you so much right now...

      *cries tears of joy*

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    56. Like I said before, you have formed the relationship between Celestia and Luna beautifully! *waits for next story*

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    57. @Fengor: I have room for MANY permutations of Luna, so I think that the team working on her will still make a Luna I will enjoy.

      @Ali: I really want to hear them, too...

      @Harakou: Thanks to some angle of the fanon I got "Luna is a creative artist of some kind" stuck in my head. Thanks, fans!

      @ZAquanimus: Sorry about your internal organs! I hope you get better soon. <3

      @Shadow Dragon, Baree: I love writing the CMCs. I don't know why... boundless cuteness I suppose. I'm glad that part struck you well. :D

      @Anonymous with the song on the iPod: Is there any chance you could share that song with me/us?

      @Anonymous who mentioned broken link: I think they're ALL fixed now. Thank you for letting me know!!

      @David: I'm glad you think that. I agree, actually. I'd call it 4/5 Normal, 1/5 Sad, personally. Luckily there's room for all our tastes here. :D

      @Baree (again): I'm glad to hear you could still get some proper tension out of the story even though you still had the letter to Twilight fresh on your mind!

      @Kits: WHO INVITED YOU here!? GO PROOFREAD SOMETHING FOR SOMEPONY! ... <3

      @GrymKane: Thank you for taking the risk. I'm very happy that it paid off for you!

      Everypony: THANK YOU for all the kind words and positive ratings. Thanks to you this is my first 6-Star Story, and I'm ever so very happy and proud! Yesyesyes and omigosh, etc. :D :D

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    58. Part 3, it was truly sad... You could see, imagine, kinda feel the pain Luna was experiencing at that moment... and the following moment :

      >She landed on her balcony and trotted into the quarters, but the room was dark and the corner was missing its customary knitter. I wonder where I could find her. Maybe she's asleep?
      >I wonder where I could find her. Maybe she's asleep?
      >Maybe she's asleep?
      -Hmm, I guess I read too much stories... It comes to a point where, from reading a single sentence, that I can relatively accurately know what will happen.
      I guess you could call it a *Statistical 6th sense* ?
      Seeing some words or a sentence, in a set context, and you know the end of the equation, kinda.

      ...all that to say that... After reading this sentence, I was ''No... Could it ? ...(sad-sigh) How... did she went away ?''. Leaving me to wonder if she was happy in the end, and to read to find out...

      All things considered, I think I would say that this story was subtle... almost gentle in how it handled Luna and Aura. Yet, 'something' was pushing, making the story move at a good, but slow enough pace to be able to... as the story said... look above and see the moon shine and hear the night sing. ;)

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    59. I swear to god, I shred a tear, both of sadness and joy... This is the best fanfic I have ever read - I hope to see more

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    60. Confound these fanfics, they make me cry.

      Seriously, brony, this is a great tear-jerking story that brings out a new realm of character in Luna.

      The only part that left me hanging is what the Nocturnes actually sound like. I mean, I had my own interpretations (http://youtu.be/eyGRzafn9E4 for instance), but I'm really interested in what the author had in mind.

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    61. I gotta say, I was really impressed with this fic. I guess I should have expected that seeing as it has a 6 star rating, but I was still surprised.
      The part I was most impressed with was the creation of Aura. OC ponies typically have a very weak character to them because authors cannot develop a strong characterization with only a few pages. At this point, I kind of avoid stories with OC ponies because of this fact. This story spat in the face of that belief. Aura's character is very well developed considering that there were only 3 chapters in this story. I'd call it phenomenal actually. Also, I cannot help but love the adherence to the timid fanon that Luna has developed across the fanfics here. She's just likable, and your continuance of that trend is a strength.
      Plotwise, the story was strong as well. It had a nice logical flow to it, and no random "wtf" moments. I gotta say that it wasn't hard to guess the Aura was going to pass away, but that's kind of what I assume all older characters will do after reading "Memories of Those Friends Who've Gone Before Us" (another fantastic 6 star fic). I also must say I liked how you wove Luna's memories of Dusk into the story. The flashback was in the perfect place, and it wasn't over the top.
      Overall, it was just a very strong fic. Character development, believable plot, and the ability to evoke emotion from the audience were all there.
      To CupcakesNom: you wrote a fantastic story. I couldn't criticize a thing. I'll be reading the rest of your stories and keeping an eye out for future ones. I'd say "good job", but that doesn't quite seem to cut it. I was just really impressed by your work. Please continue with your masterful crafting of fanfiction.

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    62. @Nova25

      I'm in full agreement with you about Celestia being a painter and Luna being a composer. Not only does it grant an extra depth to their day/night cycle, but the real world is very much the same.

      Daytime is the time of painters, bright cheery colors, illuminated by the warm light of the sun.

      The night, on the other hand, has its own music. The crickets, of course, but all the other nocturnal animals, too. And the gentle splashing of creeks that are drowned out by all the daytime noises. Before my schedule required me to be up at a decent hour, I would go for a walk or bike ride around 2 AM, just to enjoy the peaceful nighttime music. The only time to enjoy nature's music where I live in suburbia.

      In fact, I'm doing second shift tomorrow.... I think I'll go do that shortly.

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    63. I wasn't entirely happy about the formatting. I prefer paragraphs and such, but I didn't let that stop me from enjoying the core content. Things could have been detailed a tad more, but I was content. Overall, I'd say... 3.5/5. That's with 2.5 being your average fanfic, so consider it a compliment. ^_^

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    64. @Nova: Yeah, I can see how that might telegraph her death just a tiny bit too much for some people. I'll keep that in mind in the future. I'm glad you liked the story! :D

      @TwinkiePinkie: I'm very grateful that you took the time to comment on Aura! Nopony else had except the person who helped me edit, and I was worried that she didn't come off as rich as I had hoped. Thank you!

      @Nerevar: I'm curious what it was about the formatting that made you less than 100% satisfied? Just curious!

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    65. This was an amazing story, I really loved it! 5 stars!

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    66. My mind must be in the gutter because when I first saw the image for this I didn't see Luna's left hind leg as a leg. I thought it was something else briefly.

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    67. This story was beautiful. I think it may even be my favorite Luna one. I listened to this song while reading chapter 3. I think it fits fairly well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY0-VNKgLaU

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    68. @Morrdor: That's high praise considering all the epic Luna we had during the long, long wait for the canon princess that will finally be hoofed down to us soon.

      And thank you for sharing the link; I do enjoy this song. I'm listening to it right now, actually. It makes me want to sway along to it, so I would certainly say it's in the right direction toward what Luna was working on in the story. ♫♫

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    69. I just read this again. ( I'm Morrdor). I still love it. I wish I could hear Luna's Nocturne. The way the author described it was so...intense. Sadly, that is impossible. Bu I can try to come close. This fic inspired a love for classical music in me.

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