• Story: Little Applejack and the Magical Berry-Banu

    [Normal] Arabian Nights style filly Applejack story?  Why do I find myself wishing that was the her real cutie mark chronicle story?

    Author: Jimbo1023
    Description: Based on a tale from The Arabian Nights, Granny Smith tells Apple Bloom a story supposedly from Applejack's youth.
    Little Applejack and the Magical Berry-Banu

    Additional Tags: Arabian Nights, Fillies, Adventure, Storybook, Handwritten

    6 comments:

    1. Interesting idea, enough to make me want to read fanfiction. ;-;

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    2. It seemed pretty well written, and I think it's cool to ponify an Arabian Nights story. I just didn't like the actual story very much...

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    3. interesting story, though i'm surprised there are so few comments. it defiantly wasn't bad, in fact i think it was an interesting adaption of the story (though why granny smith would put herself in the roll of the antagonist for her own story is a bit odd, heh.)

      i think the problem might be it's implied length. i remember getting close to the actual end and seeing how far i had made it into the fanfic and blanching at the slider bar not even being half way down yet. i almost wrote this fanfic of as a ponderous, poorly structured epic that was in serious need of pruning but, (thankfully) i was wrong. a good 2/3's of this fanfic are the scanned, hand written pages from the author and my advise is to avoid doing that it the future, or to provide them in a separate .doc file.

      making and reading an Epic length fanfic can be a bit daunting (for author & Reader alike)and needs a lot of hooks to keep the reader engaged (strong story, well written characters, an overarching driving force for the story and a good level of detail to the things that are important, exc..) and while your story is a good flight of fancy it's implied length makes it out to be one huge epic piece with the story structure of a short but sweet fanfic and that might be one reason it hasn't seemed to have garner that much of a responses.

      thank you for the interesting read and i hope i haven't come across as a jerk or anything, just trying to lend constructive criticism to someone who loves this fandom, and want to entertain other fans during this pony drought we all find ourselves in. best of luck in your future endeavors :)

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    4. The length had me worried for a bit. I just didn't see how this could be this long!

      But the actual story was very enjoyable

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    5. blackopspublishingMay 24, 2011 at 7:48 PM

      You cannot simply take a story, replace the main characters with ponies, and call it original fanfiction. You didn't even change the gifts they receive in their quests from the ones in the original.
      True crossover fanfiction (and that's what this is, the crossing of a fairytale and mlp) embraces both worlds to create something completely new, not copied and edited for ponies.
      Look, I know that was harsh, but for your own sake and the fandom's, honest critique is needed to ensure quality for everypony.

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    6. I liked it. Even though you just threw ponies into an existing story and didn't change it, it was so fun to imagine the tale with ponies that it doesn't even other me. Decently written and an enjoyable read.

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