• Story: Moonbound (Update Part Complete!)



    [Adventure] [Sad] [Shipping]

    Author: Warmblood
    Description: Memories of a time long gone by hold the key to Luna’s salvation. To save her sister, Celestia sends Twilight on a quest through Luna’s mind, searching for the source of an ancient spell that is slowly killing her. What she finds may change her forever.
    Moonbound (New Part 11!)

    Additional Tags: Journey, Luna's Life, Memories, Emotional, Lost Innocence

    18 comments:

    1. @Shrpsho0ter, Joe Huergo
      You should take a look at this

      ReplyDelete
    2. Additional tags: Journey
      Dooooon't stop...belieeeeeeving! Hold on to that feeeeeeelieeyaaaaaang!!!!

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    3. Anypony else think of Earthbound when seeing the title and description?

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    4. Was unimpressed. Grammar, spelling, and consciously poetic writing does not a great story make.

      Also, and I can't be the only one thinking this, the premise reminds me a whooooooole lot of Eternal. The difference is that Eternal spent tens of thousands of words establishing the emotional stakes first. I read through this and kept wondering why I should care about any of this - the writer kept telling without showing.

      Not sure what the prereaders were thinking on this one.

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    5. Most exile is self-imposed. The greatest monster is in the mirror..

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    6. @two_eyes
      "Grammar, spelling, and consciously poetic writing does not a great story make."

      But they certainly contribute. The story doesn't seem even close to finished yet. In fact, the author hasn't even gotten to the main point of the story yet.

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    7. I have to agree on two_eyes with this one. Not too much to this, which is disappointing, because the idea had a huge amount of potential! Great idea, poor execution. Not a fan.

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    8. I saw the princess of the night and had to stop in. They need to put her into blind bags. I found them today at walmart been waiting for them to show up at the walmart nearby and the wait paid. Off, tried to remember the numbers and the pony related to that number, lucky me I had my phone and looked it up. the 1st bag was a guess and I got Rose, I then grabbed to more and got Twilight and Rainbow, just need to get the other 4 of the mane6.

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    9. I'm surprised that no-one's mentioned it yet, so I will:

      LOLOLOLOL SPARK LOLOLOLOL

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    10. Is FiM Fiction down for anyone else? I used the Down for Everyone or Just Me tool and it says it's not just me. Just when I wanted to read this.

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    11. @Alexstrazsa

      Oh, certainly, they contribute, but my personal preferences go something like Characters > Story >>> Writing, which is why I can't stand most literary fiction. There's a certain minimum threshold of technical skill that's necessary to meet to make a story tolerable to read, but Warmblood's poetic way with words does not leave me satisfied as a reader.

      And no, it's not finished, but the purpose of the beginning is to engage the reader with the characters and the stakes of the story, which I feel this first chapter fails to do.

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    12. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUzSkjgIIHk

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    13. Good story, I'm really intrigued, I hope you write more of this.

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    14. Looks like this is unfolding to be a retelling of Luna's past and not just a quest for a cure. I'm interested, keep it up!

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