• Story: Harpflank and Sweets (Update Side Story 2!)


    [Random] [Comedy] [Sci-fi]

    Author: Arcainum
    Description: Lyra and Bon Bon defend the bustling metropolis of Metropony City from Luna and her villainous henchpony Trixie's army of robots using only their wits, friendship and arsenal of heavy weaponry. Can they keep Metropony safe for yet another week? Find out in this exciting episode of...HARPFLANK AND SWEETS.
    Harpflank and Sweets
    Harpflank and Sweets: The Lost Episodes 
    Harpflank and Sweets: Very Special Episode (New!)


    Additional Tags: Short, Alternate Universe, Saturday Morning Cartoon, Mecha, Superheroes

    And then 6 stars  

    Theme Song:

    173 comments:

    1. That sounds...AMAZING

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    2. This just went straight to the top of my reading list.

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    3. Haha a Megamind parody, that movie was amazing in its own right so this should be a good one.

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    4. well that sounds BRILLIANT.

      will read.

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    5. I honestly can't say I've heard of anything similar. I'll have to have a look after I've finished all the other fanfics I keep forgetting about.

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    6. I was going to do some studying...but I can't ignore this.

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    7. This looks like it might be funny. I'll probably read it after I get my school work for the day done.

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    8. Bravo.

      Definitely among the most entertaining comedy fics I have read.

      That next episode isn't really coming out though? Shame, this is too good to be over already.

      Anyway, I rated 5 stars.

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    9. Update: AWWW YEAH! It was as awesome as I thought it was. It brings back memories of when me and my siblings did a similarly cheesy 'old time radio' cast, starring generic heroes and equally generic villians and gadgets. But you captured the cheesiness so well I think somepony deserves a medal! 5 Starred!

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    10. Wow. This is the exact opposite of what I'm here for. And I mean the whole brony community. No offense intended ofc.

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    11. LUNA IS GOOD. Jeez! Been over this. SHE'S GOOD NOW

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    12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    13. @Maquabra

      I...apologise? I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're saying x.X

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    14. Lyra and bon bon fic snd no shipping tag. That alone makes this special and thus inter.esting. must give a try

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    15. Dafuq?
      Lyra and BonBon that is not shipping

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    16. This was awesome
      I salute the writer for makin me spit out candy in a laughing fit.

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    17. That was incredible. Bravo sir/madam. I would generously give as much money as I could to turn this into an animated series. It was made of fun, pure unadulterated fun, and I loved every second of it.

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    18. That was utterly hilarious. The only thing wrong with this story is the Complete tag; I'd love to see more! (Also, I think this must be the fastest ever Star 6'd story on EqD!)

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    19. Already star-6‽ Ok, I gotta read this now.

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    20. Um, what is Star 6? It's not in the FAQ and I humbly confess to never really visiting EqD before submitting this.

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    21. @Pinkie IS Best Pony

      News Flash:Celestia is also good,but that doesn't stop people by portraying her as evil.

      Chill out,is just a different interpretation for this story.

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    22. @Arcainum
      If a story gets rated 5 stars consistently enough then it gets a (6 star) next to it in the fiction archive, telling people it's been rated extremely well.

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    23. @Tyranoman
      Oh and it gets 6-Star in its post labels aswell.

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    24. @Tyranoman

      Oh. Awesome. Thank you very much everybody ^.^

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    25. I've had my head buried in Fallout: Equestria for the past several days. Considering how incredibly dark that story can get, I think this will be a welcoming breather for me.

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    26. Time to read this interesting story

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    27. This amused me greatly, I can't wait for more! ;D

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    28. That was utterly ridiculous. I love it.

      Of course, Lyra-Bon-Bon non-romantic is always a plus...

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    29. It's really great to see this up. And six-star, too! I was hoping everypony else would like this as much as I did.

      Arcainum,your story is good and you should feel good.

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    30. I ready this story using voices and situations from Totally Spies, Dexter's Lab, Panty&Stocking, and The Powerpuff Girls to fill in the blanks in my head.

      It fit really well. Total cartoon zanyness.

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    31. Well, if there's one thing one could say... it's that the description certainly does well in grabbing our attention. :)

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    32. Oh man, that was so stupidly awesome. Thanks bro, this really brightened up my day.

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    33. The description made me think of Lyra and Bon Bon fighting Luna as Sonic and Tails fighting Dr. Eggman in one of the many Metropolis-themed areas from that series.

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    34. Okay, I'll admit, I was jealous when I saw this hit 6-star before you even had 50 rating, but I sat down to read it and...This.Is.Exquisite!

      Seriously, while you had me smirking the whole time, I lost it at "megacello." I'm really impressed not only at the quality of the writing, but that you also put it into a format that I haven't even seen before in this fandom--and pulled it off with flying colors!

      On the more technical side, how did you get gdocs to display your text like that? That's a much, much nicer presentation than just sharing out links like every other story does, and it has the added bonus of not having the annoying chat bar flashing whenever some anon speaks.

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    35. @Drakmire

      Thank you for your words, I'm really glad you like it! I am...overwhelmed by the positive feedback I've gotten and I'd like to thank everybody for making me feel like a baus =p

      As for GDocs, I just clicked File, Publish To The Web and it gives you a link called "Document Link", I don't know if that helps x)

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    36. @Arcainum

      Yep! That's perfect, thanks! Normally, stories are shared out in a quasi-editable version, and the visual page breaks can be pretty jarring, so I'm hoping that we'll see more and more formatting like yours.

      But to your story, I kept getting a feeling like you were secretly channeling Douglas Adams at times, and I couldn't be happier with how fun this piece is.

      I was about to wish you had published to FIMFiction so I could track you, but now I see that you have! I look forward to seeing what comes next : )

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    37. Make another episode!!
      Please, please, please!

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    38. Oh freaking Celestia yes!
      You are continuing this after all!

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    39. Chapter 2 scene 9, paragraph 10, line 2, word 12, HANDS, I believe you should change that to hooves.

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    40. @CrimsonBlossom
      I haven't read it yet, but if the line is spoken by Lyra, then "hands" seems perfectly fine by me.

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    41. You just can't go wrong with the Comedy and Random tags. This is just barely more structured than random nonsense, you have managed to combine character interactions, self aware humor and a hefty dose of ludicrousness.

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    42. Wait... episode 27... followed by episode 14? So, does part 2 actually take place before part 1, or are the episode numbers just chosen randomly?

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    43. Huh, I thought I'd caught that "hands" fluff. *checks* I did! I guess GDocs was slower to update than I figured x.X

      As for the episode numbers, it's kind of both. Part 2 is set before Part 1, and the upcoming Part 3 will be set after it, but there's no real overarching plot (YET) so I just kind of decide where in the 'series' the episode would be and pick a number.

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    44. Oh dear Celestia, there's more! xD

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    45. Wow. I had been taking a break from pony for a while, getting back into the swing of it, and this is the first fic I've read since my hiatus. And you know what? It's dang near perfect. I don't know how I convinced myself to take a break with stuff like this coming from the fandom. Thanks a lot, and you're now on my list of favorite authors.

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    46. Flipping terriffic work there, guv.

      I have to say I think it works better as a one-shot, but at the same time I really want to see more. Do you think you'll ever do any consecutive "episodes" instead of writing the series in anachronic order? The season/series finale, perhaps?

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    47. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    48. @bigscarysnowman

      Dangit, you're good. Yes, I'm planning on doing one more random episode and then a two-part season finale, which will hopefully be an EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER.

      Deleted comment was because instead of "dangit" I said a naughty swear and that just doesn't feel right on a pony site.

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    49. GAH ! The format... my eyes ! My widescreen is TOO wide !

      Also... Why are they named ‘’Epidose 27’’ and ‘’14’’... and Part 1 is Ep.27, which come before Part 2 which is Ep.14 ?
      Right now, I don’t see the reason for those random choices of number, unless they are supposed to follow the series’ episodes ? ...but even then.

      -----

      Part 1:

      ... Mmh, I question the reason why the *villain* (name) is ‘Luna’ and not ‘Nightmare Moon’ ? Because it’s shorter ? ...

      >“A muffin? I didn’t put this in my bag...”
      >“Secure enough, Commander Derpy
      -Top secret muffin-o-disc ! *Commander* Derpy ! :D ... ~Yay~

      >Some of the fish in there are worth millions of bits!
      -Damn ? Are they pure ‘gold’-fish, with diamonds for eyes, and they poop tiny-rubies ? ;)

      >“Uh, right. Yes. It is also an embassy for the sea ponies
      -Hurray for seaponies :).

      >Derpy could hear Lyra’s vehement protests. “Sea ponies! You said never again with the sea po-
      -Huh... why ? Lyra is supposed to LOVE seaponies (and want opposable thumbs)... not having a problem against them ?

      >Vinyl had to scan her eye and hoof, put a lock of her mane into a glass receptacle and even sing a few bars before it opened
      -What, no ‘’butt scanning’’ ? ;) (guess the reference)

      ... Heh. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia super-scientists duo. Whatever they do together, it’s always great ...

      >She wasn’t famed, because she never left a trace.
      -Shouldn’t it be ‘’framed’’ ?

      >“Not just any suits. Nanotech suits.
      -Nanotechnology, the best kind of tech, right after Quantum ;).

      >A huge, enormous, gigantic cello. Easily the size of the Lunatron
      >“We. Are going. To hit her with it.”
      -They are gonna hit it with a giant levitating (mecha-)cello ? Well... that’s most unconventional, but as long as it works. ;)

      >“Oooh, nonononononononono! Snips, Snails, charge the cannon faster! FASTER!”
      -I guess those 2 are part of the ‘’loyal, or perhaps stupid’’ minions ?

      >something had been troubling her. Lyra had enjoyed destroying that Lunatron too much.
      -Oh noes ! A possible ‘Lyra turning toward the dark side because/for more power’ ? ...then followed by a classic ‘Lyra who sees the wrongs of her way and come back to the good side’ ? Who knows !

      >THOSE FISH WERE WORTH TRILLIONS OF BITS!
      -They keep being increasingly more worth ! At this rate, one will be able to buy the planet with a single of those fishes. ;)

      >Coming soon: Episode 14 - A Scratch in Time!
      -And we make a full circle... 14 comes AFTER 27 ? My maths lied to me !

      -----

      A few minor interrogations, but overall pretty interesting, I have to say.

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    50. @Nova25

      Phew, questions questions =p

      Episode numbers: I answered this a few comments up ¬_¬ Basically I'm just writing stories set in the Harpflank and Sweets universe as they occur to me and slowly constructing a timeline. Read in the order they're presented, but imagine they're part of a series. I'll do some editing, try to make the distinction between the "Next Week on!" and "Actually coming soon" segements clearer.

      Luna: Her name is Luna because Luna is the villain =p I think it's funnier that way. The idea for the whole fic came from a picture of Luna shouting at Trixie.

      Sea ponies: In Episode...uh...19 (Under Seige Under the Sea), they had to travel to the oceanic kingdom of Aquastria and protect the sea ponies from Trixie. Both singing and mechanical lobsters were involved. It was unpleasant.

      Also, I've never heard anything about Lyra liking seaponies myself, I just thought she got drawn as one a lot. You learn something new everyday!

      "Framed": Nope. Vinyl is famed, Octavia is not.

      I hope that's answered your queries ^.^

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    51. Ugh, *Siege. Blogger needs a comment edit function.

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    52. @Arcainum
      Well, about seaponies, Lyra has been shown quite a few times (mostly in pictures, but also a few references here and there in stories) arguing to ponies/Bonbon that Seaponies were real, trying to prove their existence, and minor things like that.
      (That, wanting hands/opposable thumbs, and sitting vertically are her main stuff... plus 'liking' Bonbon a lot too.)

      All in all, she would much more tend to be the one being ''happy'' to learn that they exist... maybe even pointing a hoof at Bonbon saying : ''AH! I knew they existed ! But you never believed me.'' or something like that.

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    53. @Nova25
      Here, a few pictures, if you want to check the thing quickly.
      http://dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/132533939778.png

      http://johnjoseco.deviantart.com/art/Lyra-meets-Lyra-259399156

      http://ponibooru.413chan.net/post/view/66156

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    54. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    55. That element of fanon has completely bypassed me. Madness.

      But also, yknow, whatever. Alternate universe. In the H+Sverse, she met 'em, didn't like 'em. Too much singing. And mechanical lobsters. Very traumatic. I'll write that episode one day. It sounds like fun.

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    56. @Arcainum
      Seems relatively interesting, yes.

      Robot lobsters... and why not toss some Samurai Starfishes and/or a Battle-Whale ;).

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    57. This is strange. But good strange, in that there's no direct rip-of- err, references to your inspirations. It needs a teensy bit more seriousness to contrast the cheese, as in Get Smart and Police Squad. then it'll be perfect. :-)

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    58. Go, GO! Epic Battle-Whale ! :D : http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2010/04/camocorps03.jpg (I find all sorts of miscellaneous stuff like that ;) )

      -----

      Part 2:

      >she was forced to spend upwards of a week locked in her office with nothing but a pen, a forest’s worth of unsigned paper and enough muffins to feed a small army.
      -‘’Day 3 : Today is once again Crazy-Paper Day ! With our co-animator of the day, Mr.Blueberry Muffin ! Sadly, Miss.Banana Muffin couldn’t be present this time ; she will be missed... though she was delicious.’’ ...I think strange things today.

      >Looks like we’re on standby, babe Lyra and BB were on scene.
      -Missing a ‘dot’ after ‘’babe’’ ?

      >“Nothing? What the hay?!”
      -What ? They have nano-tech and giant robots, but not ‘remote control’ device(s) or ‘magic-control’ relays/satellites’?

      >It was at precisely this moment that she realised she couldn’t remember how to use it. Building them and firing them were two very different things.
      -While I could understand her not being of the sharpshooter level... it’s a gun, not a nuclear reactor. It has a trigger, normally, and a security thingy, usually... and it’s surely already loaded, so no trouble with that.
      ...buuuuut, I guess we will put this on the account of ‘’panic : because of sudden robot attack’’.

      >Vinyl gave a cry of anguish
      -Noooooes ! ...well, good thing Octavia is alive in ‘’Episode 27’’, hmm ? *cough* -_-

      >For the Luna Empire!
      -Meh... shouldn’t it be (better as) the ‘’Lunar’’ Empire ? Would also serve as a *wink-wink* toward the ‘Lunar Republic’ thing.

      >Redheart, standing in front of what was now visible as a gun locker, cocked the assault rifle hanging from her neck with one hoof
      -Reference to this, I suppose ? : http://thexiiilightning.deviantart.com/art/Nurse-Redheart-s-UnHealthy-dose-of-Medication-279942156

      >THE KEY TO OUR VICTORY, A VICTORY THAT HARPFLANK AND SWEETS AND THEIR PITIFUL ORGANISATION WILL BE POWERLESS TO PREVENT
      -Huh... 13 episodes later, a Giant Mecha-tron ?
      >She thought about how the Lunatrons had moved in perfect unison, efficient and deadly in their shared senses and purpose.
      -Same, but nano-machines for nano-suit?

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    59. This has to be my favorite interpretation of Lyra and Bon-Bon so far.

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    60. My money, all my money for this to be animated.

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    61. That last chapter? Brilliance.

      Lyra and BB taking the day off? Brilliant.

      Luna watching her soaps? Brilliant.

      Trixie unwittingly befriending the dynamic duo? Brilliant.

      Flim and Flam's parts? Brilliant. (Did you by chance change your draft after seeing the last FiM episode, or did you write part 3/ episode 36 after it aired?)

      The revelation and unintended betrayal in scene 11/12? Brilliant. Sad, but brilliant.

      And the next chapter is [part of?] the finale? I can scarcely wait.

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    62. @bigscarysnowman

      That's...pretty brilliant. Everyone's kind words continue to make me feel warm and fuzzy inside! I'm truly glad you're enjoying it.

      And yes, I kind of fell in love with Flim and Flam just after finishing the plan for the chapter. So I rewrote it x.X I think I overdid it, but I was listening to their song constantly while writing and just COULDN'T STOP.

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    63. Just beginning to read #3. Just reached "Oh Brother of mine". Oh no...

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    64. Aw man that's really sad. Good job!

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    65. Part 3:

      >“Well, You see, Ma’am, we see an opportunity in this community. Don’t we, brother of mine?”
      -And then, they were *instantaneously* recognized as the Flim&Flam brothers, on their very first line. ;)
      But I wonder... was the story altered to include them ? I mean, this episode aired just last week after all.

      >“I think it’s called Flim Flam Funland.”
      -A trap within an amusement park ? The devils !

      >“The baby! It’s not Stormy Sky’s! It’s...It’s yours, Shining Star! The baby is yours!” ~
      -Ahh, classic American soap opera... the only thing missing is an evil twin brother and/or someone suffering from amnesia. ;)

      >“I think... we should go over and introduce ourselves. She doesn’t know what we look like under the suits
      -Mmh. Let me guess... The 3 of them will somehow have a ‘’good’’ day together (since not in ‘working-persona’), up to when the 2 Brothers come into play, then they will quickly go in separate ways using an awkward/impossible reason (in order to go in ‘working-persona’)... and stuff.

      >“Excuse me. My name is Trixie. No relation.”
      -A ‘Babs and Buster Bunny’ reference ? Well, how unusual. :)

      >“Do not worry, Trixie shall protect you both!”
      -Ahh, I see... The ‘’SHE is their nemesis, and nopony else’’ thing.
      This part is full of classic stuff. ;)

      >Standing on her back legs, she was supported by a strange contraption the size of herself
      -An exoskeleton armor ?

      ... Is it just me or isn’t there a whole scene missing at the end ? I mean, seriously ? Not even a last quick scene with Luna and Trixie back at their headquarter ? Like... both are somewhat sad and/or morose after their day... Trixie reports the Brothers’ failure... something-something Luna, and THEN ‘fade, with Trixie having a small, enigmatic smile’ ?
      You know... another good classic that would have worked really well there, with this setting.
      Just suggesting ...

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    66. @Nova25 No no no! Don't you see! This episode ended with the classic 'tragic-villain-misunderstanding-an-attempt-by-the-good-guys-at-friendship-and-the-whole-thing-backfires-cuz-the-villain-didn't-realize-it-was-them-and-thought-the-whole-thing-was-a-trick' trope! This sets up the stage for a super-ultra-tragic finale when they all must face their inner demons and end up dying tragically in a moment of heroism and realizing they weren't as bad as they thought and then they explode into the sunset! :D

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    67. @Alondro
      >the-whole-thing-backfires-cuz-the-villain-didn't-realize-it-was-them-and-thought-the-whole-thing-was-a-trick
      -Of course I know this ->part<- of this classic, but... usually it doesn't cut so sharply, and the end still 'feel' a bit short, like a last scene is missing (whatever it would be).

      Also, the fun thing about classics is that... there's more than 1. And, quite often, there's several variations of them.

      And, if I may add... Trixie having a ''small enigmatic smile, half hidden'' can be used in some interesting ways ; Ranging from 'a possible hope (for the viewer/reader) that Trixie will/might remember, at some point, this ''happy'' day (for whatever effect desired. There's quite a few to choose from.)' -TO- 'she's back into the game, bitter than ever, ready to unleash an unparalleled amount of mayhem'.

      N.B. : Since Trixie isn't exactly the 'ultimate evil to defeat', it isn't mandatory for her to 'permanently die'... again, quite a few possibilities here.

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    68. I admit, when I read the first chapter I enjoyed it well enough, but didn't think it was anything really special. "Ephemeral" was the word that came to mind: silly, mindless fun, pleasant enough to read but quickly forgotten.

      What you've done in the last couple of updates blows my mind. You've taken those ridiculous caricatures of characters who were THEMSELVES ridiculous caricatures (well, Trixie and NMM anyway) and actually gotten me to care about them! What at first seemed a good but not extraordinary spoof of Saturday morning television has turned into a full-on deconstruction, and I would be remiss not to tell you how much I'm enjoying the story.

      I'm looking forward to part 2 of the finale, and anything else that may come after that.

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    69. @Chris

      Heh, what you've described is almost exactly what I went through writing it. The first chapter was knocked off in an afternoon because a reddit comment inspired me and was written essentially for the lulz. But then I got a feel for the universe and I felt like developing it.

      I'm really glad that you...well, care what happens xD Having not written in years before these, I'm kind of testing my limits. At least I know those emotional scenes are doing their job!

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    70. The "gotta" has taken hold of me. As in...

      I gotta know will Vinyl live.
      I gotta know will Lyra come to her senses.
      I gotta know will Octavia debug the suits.
      I gotta know how many pieces Trixie will end up broken into when this is all over.

      For the "gotta" to work itself that far into my head, after reading the text equivalent of four comic book issues--that's no small feat. Can't wait to see how the big cliffhanger turns out.

      (Bonus points for working the Boondocks reference into Ep. 36, by the way.)

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    71. @Alan

      I hope you didn't pay for the whole seat because you ONLY NEED THE EDGE OF IT.

      *ahem* Anyways, I'm sorry but you got me, I didn't know what Boondocks was until you mentioned it =p What did I inadvertantly reference? I'm intrigued.

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    72. Oh what. Come on, you can't just leave me hanging here on that! And it's always the same - as soon as any good story hits a cliffhanger, something tragic happens to the author and they go on haitus for months. I call it the cliffhanger amplification curse.

      Just remember this Arcainum. When you come down with fifty different diseases, lose your job and have everything you own repossessed, you brought it upon yourself, and you'll get no sympathy from me.

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    73. @Arcainum
      It goes back to the "no relation" comment that Trixie tacks on to the end of her self-introduction at the park. On the Boondocks TV series, whenever Uncle Ruckus introduces himself, he always says, "I'm Uncle Ruckus, no relation"--as in, "no relation to any other black person within earshot."

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    74. Part 4:

      >“DO NOT... DO NOT DO SOMETHING WE WOULD REGRET.”
      -Aren’t they the villains ? I mean... Does Trixie plan to blow the planet with a Mega-Nuke or something ?

      >The effect was unsettling, as if the suit was trying to emulate the movements of the pony that wore it but hadn’t gotten it quite right.
      -Classic scenario #something : Nano-Suit gets a ‘’will’’ of its own, and start controlling the host(pony) instead of being controlled by it. Its programming ‘’evolved’’, and now they(ponies) will face : Unforeseen consequences!

      >She tried every angle in her mind, but... There was no way to save her.
      -Well... Unless they thought of reinforcing the nanites/nanobots to make them resistant to powerful electromagnetism... a good EMP could destroy them, or at the very least (even if resistant) perturbate the suit (‘s integrity) enough to be able to ‘extract’ the pony from it.

      >Her suit, ever so faintly, began to glow. >“You’re going to join me.”
      -Huh... Is Trixie taking control of the suits, because they share some similar codes with her own stuff ? ...I don’t quite know.

      >space itself seeming to warp slightly as the projectile’s insane velocity largely ignored the gravitational inversion.
      -So... ‘Bubbles’ is a ‘’rainbow-powered’’ gauss cannon/rifle ?

      >“I think she’s right. I am powerful. Really powerful. And... I never got anything out of it.”
      -AH! I knew it would happen. Lyra is turning toward the ‘’dark side’’... and then etc, as I said in Part 1’s comment.
      In any case, the protocolar response : OH NOES !

      -----

      ...Seems like Trixie is exploiting, through her own emotional weakness, the weakness of Lyra for power and recognition in order to gain Lyra to her side... almost like gaining a friend, that isn’t quite like one. (I still firmly claim that Trixie totally still have a chance of redemption... and not the ‘crappy’ ‘’on death-bed’’ kind of redemption.)

      Also, I have trouble believing that Trixie could move an ENTIRE metropolis’s population in the span of a few minutes(to an hour) ?
      And, I still wonder if the suits just became sentient by themselves, because of something in their programming that ‘evolved’, or if it’s *directly* Trixie doing it (because of the thing about her codes being used) ? ...

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    75. @Alan
      Boondocks ? ...I think I watched a little bit of this some years ago.

      Anyway... Personally, I saw a : ‘Babs and Buster Bunny’ reference.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babs_and_Buster_Bunny

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    76. Hi guys, I just set up the beginnings of a tropes page for this fic and put it in the fanfic recs on TVTropes. This story is just so crazy awesome (may contain enough spiral power to power Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann) that I just had to write one for it. It's still kinda bare-bones, so please fill it up!

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    77. ... You did WHAT to Trixie?!?

      I'm not sure I can forgive you six... Oh, who am I kidding, four of you are in the top 6 on my best background pony list, I can never stay mad at you, but you go and have a good long think about what you've done.

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    78. Huh. You beat the odds and resolved the cliffhanger just a few days after setting it up. Brilliant, well done.

      So yeah, this is awesome. Love that line from Derpy: "I just don't know what went right". And the ending - well of course it would be rainbows. Didn't expect what happened to Trixie though, that was a bit of a surprise. Quite fitting for the genre though.

      Is that really the end of Harpflank and Sweets? To be sure, it's a good place to finish, but do you ever intend to write some more of the intermediate episodes?

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    79. No he does not.

      HE PLANS ON WRITING A SECOND SEASON XD

      Yeah, I saw the movie there, but... COME ON, SEASON TWO AFTER THAT.

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    80. @Nova25
      The way I look at it is this:

      Two characters say "no relation" = Buster and Babs Bunny.
      One character says it = Uncle Ruckus. (Incidentally, his first name actually is Uncle.)

      I was a little surprised at Trixie's fate, but then I remembered what I was reading. You can practically drop a building on a comic book character and have them show up again two issues later.

      Another thoroughly fun bit of light reading, which leaves a few things open for the next go-round. If nothing else, I'd like to find out how long it took the Apple family to start its own banking operations.

      ReplyDelete
    81. @Arcainum

      This published version, while great for viewing on computers or from a phone with internet access, is really clumsy for me. I prefer to download a copy of the book so that I can store it on my phone's memory card, hence I can use my ereader app to enjoy the fics better.

      FimFiction and DA make this really easy with download links, and GDocs makes it easy if you give the standard link to the document, where it displays as if it were an actual word processor. But when published, there is no easy method.

      Glad I found the FimFiction hosting of this fic, I will get it from there and read it.

      ReplyDelete
    82. Part 5:

      >The red nanosuit was dissolving, collapsing into a pool of lifeless sludge accompanied by a dwindling hiss and its crimson light fading.
      -Hurray for the nanosuit being designated as the only damageable target ! And, also the fact that the shot wasn’t during a cinematic...

      >“I’m sorry, could someone explain? I just don’t know what went right.”
      -All shall *roll their eyes* at that one.

      >“Yup. Lucky me, huh?”
      -She has an ‘Essential NPC’ tag.
      ...on a side note, we still have no darn idea (were given a reason) why the suit went ‘’rogue’’ ? (aside from numerous theories, of course)

      ... Also, I just thought about this... Where’s Celestia in all this ? Got trapped in a dark magical dungeon, a small pocket dimension, the Sun ?.. at the beginning of the conflict ? ...

      >How could they have moved every single pony from the city without us noticing?”
      -Magic ? No, really... a ‘’metropolis’, well, that’s a few millions people/ponies, no ? And, between the moment of the alert and Lyra&Bonbon reaching Trixie, it wasn’t several hours... so, unless there was an insanely huge ‘mass-teleportation’ involved ? I don’t know.

      >“Derpy, sir? You might want to get Bubbles ready. We’re moving out.”
      -Yay to the fact that the super-‘’Bubbles’’ weapon wasn’t just a 1-hit-wonder kind of weapon.

      >the rooftop of the Department of Loyalty, one of the five ministries surrounding Celestia Tower.
      -Kinda-reference to the FOE story, I suppose ?

      >The Lunatron was engulfed entirely in the light of her magic and, where the forelegs had been destroyed, two blue outlines formed in the air. It stood upon the magical legs and screamed with its mistress
      -Well, that one very good cinematic line. :)

      >what we give our all to protect!
      -‘’give our all’’ ? Is it right ? ...sounds like there’s something missing, or a wrong word, maybe ?

      >“I know, Trixie. And you never will.
      -I call nonsense here... and, anyway, there’s that expression that says : Never say never.

      >“She’s... not coming back next week. Not this time.”
      -BOOOO! Shoooo! *throw popcorn* Refund ! *boot to the head* Write a letter of complain ! >:(

      >“... She didn’t have to die.”
      -She’s not dead, you dumb ponies.
      Back in that ‘other Reality’, Luna didn’t die when she was ‘’cleansed’’ of Nightmare Moon.

      -----

      This ‘’ending’’ was pretty good... but, if the author really ‘’got rid’’ of Trixie, this will definitely put one big stain on this story.

      ReplyDelete
    83. Whoa, I sent this in as complete? I don't even remember doing that. Don't stay up for two days then submit chapters at 6am, kids. There's still The Movie to come x.X

      I'll try and actually respond to some comments when I'm not splattered from work, but I'll say that the tagline at the end isn't just a Transformers gag. Trixie WILL return!

      ReplyDelete
    84. @Arcainum

      So is this complete or not, I usually don't like reading stuff that isn't complete due to cliffhangers.

      If this is incomplete, will it at least be mostly bottle episodes so that it can be read in pieces and not leave the reader desperate for the next part.

      Yes, I'm very impatient, I often can't put reading down once I start.

      ReplyDelete
    85. @Sgt Byrd - I don't even know anymore, after every episode I decide not to do anymore and then BOOM, I've done another chapter =p

      But seriously, there's one more story definitely coming (The Movie), and that will very likely be it. If I DO do more after the movie, it'll be random episodes. I don't know if I'll submit them to EqD though, the format really doesn't gel with the whole Complete/Incomplete system x.X Though they've been great so far, since I told them it was complete after the first chapter and then just carried on x)

      @0ne d3ad pon3 - I have some ideas for a Season 2 set post-movie but I don't know if I could bring myself to write, I'm terrified of overdoing it. I think might already HAVE overdone it.

      @Whitespace Only - I wrote both parts of the finale together precisely to avoid cliffhanger syndrome =p And yeah, like, I said. The Movie, and then I might write some random episodes if I can't think of any other project.

      @MedicShy - Sorry, MedicShy =(

      ReplyDelete
    86. Also oh wow, who submitted tallgrass' theme song? It never occurred to me to do that. I really need to write lyrics to that.

      ReplyDelete
    87. Dear Arcainum

      PLEASE KEEP WRITING THESE FOREVER. And failing that, please don't ever leave us cliff-hanging or without a satisfactory resolution for Trixie.

      Wondrousness.

      ReplyDelete
    88. Not sure if that ending was cheesy

      or just so one hundred percent, completely unadulterated, pure, concentrated awesome.

      ReplyDelete
    89. I finally started reading this and, oh my god, this. Is. AWESOME. I've only read the first chapter so far, but it's just so silly and ridiculous and just plain fun. You've managed to mash action and comedy together in an epic story that's just way too fun to stop reading!

      ReplyDelete
    90. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/7621/Harpflank-and-Sweets

      FiMFiction link for those who don't like the published Google Docs version. It's on dA as well but my editing isn't always up-to-date there (stoopid having to upload a PDF every time I change a word).

      ReplyDelete
    91. And I was meant to be studying tonight.

      You must be one of the best fic writers in the community. Can't wait to see what else you can do!

      ReplyDelete
    92. ^^ That was fun! Good start to the movie!

      ReplyDelete
    93. As for Season 2... DISCORD.

      You gotta do it, man. It's perfect.

      ReplyDelete
    94. My Cthulu, it's Saturday morning all over again! Awesome.

      ReplyDelete
    95. I went to the foyer to buy snacks, but their selection was terrible. >sad

      Keep up the awesome work, man :u

      ReplyDelete
    96. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    97. @Hiccup251: Dammit, man, don't drop studies for ponies =p

      @0ne d3ad pon3: Thanks! It wasn't originally going to be a two-parter but I hit that moment and, yknow, it had to be a cliffhanger. Kind of ruined the "longer than a normal episode" feel though.

      @acksed: Every morning is Saturday morning!

      @Pashoo: Please mention any problems you had with our theatre to the manager, who will carefully consider your complaint for at least a few minutes before he ignores you. Thank you for visiting Flim Flam Films.

      Deleted comment because I typed "Flim Flim" and I pretty much died inside.

      ReplyDelete
    98. @Arcainum
      Bring on the second act! The beer's getting warm and the pizza's getting cold!

      (Yes, I take my own snacks to the movies. I'll eventually figure out a way to smuggle in a whole rack of ribs - and as much of the rest of the pig sa I can carry, too.)

      ReplyDelete
    99. The movie already ? Must be one of those short animation movies of 75-90min.

      Part 6:

      >they enter a new year that will test them to their very limits...
      >When Bon-Bon had first been assigned by the agency to manage the (apparently) gifted but so far unrecognised harpist
      -Wait ? ...It happens 1 year in the future, while showing events of the past ?
      If it’s just a ‘’flashback’’, the intro paragraph (right before) is a bit misleading, really... and even more, IF this movie is a prequel-movie.

      >the thing that made them so weird was that they could hold stuff >They had these things on the end of their forelegs...
      -Hands fascination. Check.

      >Lyra is describing some sea pony song that she really wants to hear
      -SHOO BE DOO! SHOO SHOO BE DOO! ...this had to be referenced... : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4TedkQP_hM

      >“So, I’m going to help you out. Make a few changes, give you a little pizazz. You’ll thank me for it later, even if things do get a little chaotic.”
      -Random god-like sphere that can disrupt time itself... now, the ‘’chaotic’’ part clearly point toward Discord, but even him never could just downright *halt* time like that ?
      Anyway... So, Luna(*cough*Nightmare Moon), Discord, but still not a single mention of Celestia’s presence ? Did she really went for a 1000years vacation to the Milky Way or something ?

      >“Hey, you’re awake! Man, you sleep like nopony else I know.”
      -Sooooo... This was in fact, indeed, a ‘’flashback’’-dream sequence thingy ?

      >You’re both the Element of Loyalty. Somehow, the two of you are so in sync that the power is shared across you equally.”
      -That’s... odd ? But, I guess this can work.
      ...suddenly, I’m thinking of a story involving Twins, an Element, and a diabolical plot with one of the Twins being ponynapped at one point. Anyone interested in making this ?

      >Nightmare Moon threatened the world major-style and Celestia banished her to the moon using the Elements. I think that’s why the Tower was able to help us
      -Just this line gives a lot of potential infos.
      Luna might have been Nightmare Moon, all this time (obviously)! A mention of Celestia’s existence (Finally. Not counting the building... in which, I would almost bet, Celestia is sleeping in the basement) ! And, Trixie was most probably just temporarly banished (to the moon ?).

      >“The Princesses. And Luna’s been underground for years.”
      -I thought Luna was living in some sort of dark/evil castle ? She’s supposed to have control over a large industry and stuff too, above ground, no ?

      >“WE ARE TO CREATE A NEW NATION. A NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC.
      -Ahhh... So, that’s where it was hiding. In the movie.

      >DO NOT REQUEST A CONSULTATION WITH CELESTIA.
      -This sounds strange... I mean, we haven’t even remotely seen a fraction of a rumor of the shadow of Celestia, since the very beginning ? A bit odd to throw that here.

      >“Because you are not Princess Luna of the Night. You are Nightmare Moon
      -Well, for one, I always thought this was obvious ?
      I mean, calling a T-Rex a cat, still doesn’t change the fact that it’s a giant 7tons predator, and not a 10lb kitty.

      >“It has spoken to me, revealed everything I needed to know.
      -‘’That, and a blueberry muffin recipe... I do not know why.’’ ;)

      >Within Celestia Tower’s base lay a vast gantry, in which stood a pony-shaped robot that rivalled Nightmare Moon’s in size.
      -It’s Mighty Power Pony Rangers time now, apparently ? : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhHOWBi1Obs
      There’s always giant robots. ;)

      ... Giant robots battle ? Giant robots battle ! :D ...

      >“NOW, AT LAST, IT ENDS! WITH YOUR DEATHS, I AM FREE OF HIS INFLUENCE
      -‘’His’’ influence ? Dun-duun DUN!

      >“It can’t be. You’re... you’re alive?”
      >The Great and Powerful Trixie dropped to all fours.
      -TA-DAA! ...also, she’s clearly the missing Element.

      >“Was there ever any doubt?”
      -No. No there was not.

      -----

      ReplyDelete
    100. @Nova25
      -----

      So... Trixie is back and not dead, obviously. Luna was in fact Nightmare Moon all along, obviously. And I’m saying obviously a lot... obviously. ;)

      Some interesting stuff happening... not sure about the Discord-orb power-thing, but *shrug*... Celestia is in extended vacation on Mars, I think, or maybe Venus (it’s closer to the Sun, and quite lovely at this time of the century)... and Giant Robots Battles.

      ReplyDelete
    101. Freaking Parasprites. Just as it was getting good, too.

      In all seriousness, I can't wait for the next part.

      ReplyDelete
    102. @Blaze3713
      Hey, at least we get free cider out the deal.

      ReplyDelete
    103. Generously provided by the Apple family. Wait, hang on a second, that means...

      Applejack: "Sorry y'all, we're all out today."

      DAMMIT! They'd better fix that projector soon.

      ReplyDelete
    104. I may be overthinking, but red weed sounds like War of the Worlds and the fighters sound like Cylons.

      ReplyDelete
    105. Parasprites?! Somebody go drag Pinkie Pie out of Sugarcube Corner and over to the music store, quick! Use a tow truck if you have to--or just give Big Macintosh another dose of that love poison!

      ReplyDelete
    106. @Whitespace Only - Haha wow, that line was in there for literally a minute, you clicked the link at EXACTLY the right time =p I might put it back in. WHO KNOWS?!

      @Susano - =D The problem with pretending that your story is a cartoon is that subtle visual gags are quite hard to do when you don't actually have any visuals.

      @Alan - Don't worry, Flim Flam Films ensures that at least one employee in every cinema is a trained one-man band.

      ReplyDelete
    107. Part 7:

      >WIN A COPY OF THE “HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: THE MOVIE”
      -B) Lyra and Bon-Bon ! ...Yay, I win ! ... ...well, hum, I will just go save the story on my HD then ?

      >“Trixie?! But... you’re dead! You died!”
      -*cough* Reference time !
      ‘’I got better!’’ ... ‘’The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.’’ ...probably many others ;).

      >“Enter Triximus Prime
      -MOAR Giant Robots for the Giant Robot battle ! :D

      >because it’ the most important
      -’ it’s ‘’ (missing thingy)

      >“This is far beyond our scope of operations.”
      -Humm... speaking of ‘’scope’’... Are they the ONLY town in the whole nation of Equestria ? ...in the whole world ?
      I mean, we ‘’hear’’ a mention of Nightmare Moon’s big industrial area, and a handful of ponies working there, but not a single mention of anything else except this town (and a theorically-existing Sea Pony kingdom).
      Don’t they have allies they could call for an extra-special favor, maybe ?

      >I can only assume that Nightmare Moon plans to make use of this... whatever it is.”
      -A giant Moooooon Cannon ! *theatrical evil scientist laugh* ...is it ?

      >“With respect, Commander, how? We’ve never taken space travel anywhere beyond wild theory
      -They have big robots and nano-technology and... ‘Space travel’ is still a ‘’wild’’ theory ?
      Well... I guess that had priorities, and curved around space rocketry and, wait... rockets... Mmh.

      >The sun had become brighter. It shone powerfully into the hangar, framing the descending shadow with its golden rays.
      -Ahh, the majestic rays of the Sun, greeting the heroes as they are going for...
      > “Rise, my little ponies.”
      -Huuuuuuh what ? Literally her... not a metaphor with the Sun and stuff ? Suddenly, ‘Celestia out-of-nowhere’ ?
      ...ooooook ?

      >Celestia hadn’t been seen outside of Her castle for decades
      >the occasional letter to the various governments of Equestria
      >fleeting appearances at the Grand Galloping Gala
      -I don’t know what to say there... But, this is a bad reveal, I would say. Especially if you consider the whole thing... I mean... huh... ...the hell ?

      This reveal really doesn’t feel right here... not like that at least. Unless she’s in fact ‘Trollestia’ and/or all this is fact a lie/joke from her to cover the fact that she was virtually missing from the surface of the Universe, UNTIL today... that is.

      I mean... if AT LEAST she had said *something* related to the 6 Elements being finally together... I don’t know, something like ‘’Oh, I never lifted a single hoof to provide any assistance of any sort, because a ‘spell’, that only the Elements-reunited could break, was stopping me.’’, or whatever other thing that would make a remote level of sense here...
      I swear... I fell like I could write a full page on this issue, if I really wanted to.

      >moonwraiths crowded around the wreckanasdjknfkdsanlfs~^%&(*^W
      -Well, seems like the narrator is also having an heart attack ? Or, it’s really just a parasprite... or Celestia taking another 50years nap...

      -----

      Well... it was pretty good and interesting and all, before the ‘’thing’’ with : ‘’Suddenly, the missing Celestia-that wasn’t really missing-she was just...busy, yeah, she was busy-not mysterious and completely missing until now-Celestia is randomly back-Yay?’’... *cough*
      That(She) COULD have been played much better than that, is what I’m saying. Really.

      ReplyDelete
    108. I like how at first, it seemed like it was just going to be a quick trip down memory lane poking fun at those Saturday cartoons everyone grew up with.

      Then you just went ahead and made it awesome. Excellent work!

      ReplyDelete
    109. That was ridiculously awesome. But kinda sad at the end. Yes, this totally needs to be animated. Dare I say it, but this has been as enjoyable to read as Fallout: Equestria. In a different way, of course.

      Criticism? Er... there was one typo. Scene 18: "Thought that path has sometimes been misguided," - the first word should be "though". Otherwise, I have nothing negative to say about this. Sorry.

      ReplyDelete
    110. @Nova25
      It's not really Celestia out of nowhere. There had been numerous, if minor, reference in the previous episodes to the fact that she is still the supreme governing authority of Equestria. Her absence is also more or less explained by statements that she has a mostly hands off approach, probably to insure the mortal ponies learn to solve their own problems rather than become dependent upon the divine intervention of a living goddess. There might even be some implication that she sunk into something of a depression following Luna's second decent into madness, and only came out of it with the awakening of the new Elements of Harmony and the chance at restoring her sister that they brought with them.

      All that said, the actual reason for her absence is of course even simpler. MONEY! There's just no way a mere Saturday morning cartoon could secure the budget for a big-shot celebrity like Celestia. With the movie though comes bigger budgets, plus attaching such a name to a project is always a great way to fill seats, even if they could still only afford like 5 minutes of screen time :-)

      --------

      Anyway, this fic has been one awesome ride. I think I've said it before, but it still bares repeating. When I read that first fic, I enjoyed it for the nonsensical nostalgia trip that it was. That the author could take such a concept and spin it into this work of epic proportions is a testament to his skill. Bravo good sire, BRAVO!

      I'd like to do as the author has requested, and begin spamming episode ideas, but unfortunately it's been far to long since I've watched any classic style Saturday morning adventure cartoons and so I find myself unable to brainstorm any worthy ideas, but I can hardly wait to see what the community comes up with.

      Hmm... maybe I'll go see if I can track down some SWAT Kats. For some reason that's always been the show most prominent in my mind when reading this series. See if that can get the old inspiration gears grinding.

      ReplyDelete
    111. > Plasma-Assisted Recoilless Triximum Gamma Cannon
      > P.A.R.T.γ Cannon

      I see what you did there.

      ReplyDelete
    112. @62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
      >numerous, if minor, reference in the previous episodes to the fact that she is still the supreme governing authority of Equestria
      -Well, yes... there was a few 'distant mentions of a possible *physical* immortal ruler, suppositively existing somewhere on the planet'... but not really any mention of actions or decisions on her part (regarding the safety and/or well being of the subjects of HER nation).

      >she has a mostly hands off approach, probably to insure the mortal ponies learn to solve their own problems rather than become dependent upon the divine intervention of a living goddess.
      -So... her politics on 'giant meteors going to strike the planet', 'gates of Hell opening', and 'her SISTER-also immortal Princess-gone crazy'... is that it's ok for all (or maybe just most) to die, in order to learn a lesson ?

      I think she needs to review her books on 'Deities' responsibilities and You-Pocket Edition', and on 'When you are ruling a Nation, What to do-Volume 1 to 3'... that, and eating a few less cakes.
      Nah, more cakes.

      ---

      >depression following Luna's second decent into madness, and only came out of it with the awakening of the new Elements of Harmony
      -Well, it's the beginning of an explanation, at least, I suppose.

      >the actual reason for her absence is of course even simpler. MONEY!
      -Meh... ok. Though, this introduces a bit of confusion, in a way.
      A 'Saturday Cartoon-like story' based on a series, which in the story's universe would be in fact a TV show with actors from ''their'' real world perspective.

      ... Inception ? Duuuuuun! ...
      And now, I wonder if the Main 6 are the producing directors ?

      ReplyDelete
    113. @Nova25
      >So... her politics on 'giant meteors going to strike the planet', 'gates of Hell opening', and 'her SISTER-also immortal Princess-gone crazy'... is that it's ok for all (or maybe just most) to die, in order to learn a lesson ?

      -Well, the thing about being a semi-divine immortal being is that eventually you've kinda seen it all and can start to get a pretty good sense of how things will work out. She knows that the fine ponies of M.A.R.E. are the best of the best. If there was ever a situation she didn't trust them to be capable of handling she might well step into lend what help she can. Then again whose to say that's not exactly what she is doing for all the towns that don't have a super secret elite task force guarding them.

      Sure there is the matter of Luna making her base under Metropony, but then again maybe that's all the more reason for Celestia to keep her distance. After all forcing a confrontation between two god-like entities is usually bad for any population caught in the crossfire.

      Given the location of the ruined palace in the actual show's premier, it's somewhat implied that the untamable nature of the Everfree might well be the lingering result of their last conflict. Plus there's that lingering issue of her own admission to no longer being personally link with the Elements of Harmony, which were the only reason she got the better of Nightmare Moon in that original confrontation. Again, all the more reason to avoid a direct encounter.

      ReplyDelete
    114. Oh man, was that a Gurren Lagann reference? Man, this story rules.

      ReplyDelete
    115. I told you, didn't I?

      SEASON 2.

      *Pokes his forehead.* Psychic.

      ReplyDelete
    116. There's going to be a season 2? Alright! HIGH FIVE!!

      ReplyDelete
    117. Even though the big throwdown against Nightmare Moon is over, there are more than enough jumping-off points to start a second season. If nothing else, I want to see what those three idi...er, stoo...er, Cutie Mark Crusaders are going to do now that they've crashed the party.

      Double the staff's salary, fumigate every theater in Equestria, and bring on another season! This has been way too much fun!

      ReplyDelete
    118. Princess Celestia as: Princess Luna
      Princess Luna as: Princess Celestia



      Seriously, wat.

      ReplyDelete
    119. @62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
      Well...
      Their Universe isn't exempt of 'chaos'... things can always follow an unpredictable path, and have : ''Unforeseen Consequences!''(half-life).

      >there is the matter of Luna making her base under Metropony
      -Wait, what... really ?
      I, huh, ''think'' I remember maybe reading something about all the kidnapped ponies being under the city, at some point, but... I don't recall a line directly/explicitly saying 'She and her base' where under the City ?

      I mean... how do all the robots (especially to big and giant ones) would do to 'appear and attack'... and them COMING from somewhere... and Trixie working on stuff... and Flim&Flam visiting... and... that doesn't make much sense ? Not in that context at least.

      ...unless her base is SEVERAL kilometers below the ground (to not be seen/heard/detected), that it's a GIANT hole of kilometers wide (for stuff, and equipment, and other ponies working/living, and stored robots, etc), AND that there's an exit tunel somewhere outside the City that has never been found...


      ... ...Right ''below'' the City ?

      ReplyDelete
    120. @Jaggedfire Lunicron... ouch, that Transformers pun made my brain hurt.

      ReplyDelete
    121. @Arcainum So, as I suspected from the start, Discord is behind all of this. And their world seems to be a fantastic mockery of the 'real' Equestria given a life of its own, hence 'between life and the dream'. It bears certain similarities to "Big-O" in that regard (the ending of which was really odd and unsatisfying. The show suffered from what I term 'over-conceptualization', which the vision for the 'truth' of the world became much too convoluted compared to the beginning of the show. The same happened to "Evangelion" and to some extent "Wolf's Rain", the reveals were too sudden and the endings too abrupt, after much time was wasted on useless information over the whole remainder of the story. But I'm rambing now.)

      Anyway, yeah, I'm already preparing to pound Discord viciously into a viscous pool of chaotic mush. Time to re-visit "Your Best Shot" and the delightful suffering of Discord the "The Wham Episode" chapter. Such is as he deserves.

      I do know the means to defeat him. He has a distinct weakness few seem to pick up on. There's something a being who claims to be the god of chaos can never do, lest he lose hold on his power. Indeed, in this story he's already half-way toward that fatal mistake. But I'm not gonna tell! Discord is MINE to destroy!

      And then I will have his power for myself! MUWAH HA HA HA!! >:D

      ReplyDelete
    122. Darn this is one LOOONG part...? Like a 3H movie.

      Part 8:

      >More moonwraiths dropped as they entered the two snipers’ deadly sights
      -Snipers ! I do love some sniper-action in the morning. :)

      >“Out of necessity. What were going to do, build a base in the sky?”
      -How about a volcano ? Or, you know, a mountain ?

      >The ursa minor roared, forcing the heroes to step back >and charged.
      -Wait... aren’t they in a *corridor* ? A large, or even VERY large corridor maybe, but... an Ursa Minor is the size of a medium-large building... How does it move in there, and to where do the bearers can possibly evade the attack ?

      >How do you like our Plasma-Assisted Recoilless Triximum Gamma Cannon?”
      >Heh. ‘P.A.R.T.γ Cannon’.

      >Nightmare Moon createda vortex of air
      -‘’A’’, missing space.

      >YOU THINK YOU CAN DESTROY ME ON YOUR OWN?”
      >“Nope... Just... delay you...”
      -It’s always to ‘delay’. All villains seem to have been at the same ‘How to be a villain-101’ class, to always be caught by that ?

      >the Cannon grew at Derpy’s touch, reaching its final enormous size.
      -...the Internet. I have been on it for wayyyy to long, I think.

      >Its head now rose far beyond the moon’s atmosphere
      -...? The moon as ‘’essentially’’ no atmosphere to speak of... also, even if you go for a MLP:FiM moon, with breathable ‘’atmosphere’’... you essentially announced there was none, with the ‘space decompression’ moment, not too long ago ? So...

      >BEHOLD... LUNICRON!”
      -I might not have thought of that without that one comment, but... Yeah... Transformer reference.

      >a multi-layered sphere of coloured light surrounding the party
      -Like a real soap bubble, but with magic, I see. ;) ...Still not a real MIGHTY ‘Prismatic Sphere of Protection’.

      >I don’t think she would destroy a world full of ponies to dominate.
      >“She’s going to destroy the sun.”
      -And then, Nightmare Moon failed at basic ‘Logic-101’...
      Destroying to Sun is even worst than just destroying what’s on the planet, or even the planet itself... especially if she makes it blow into a nova(no pun intended).

      >as the moon tore through space
      -Well, that’s gonna screw with the tides for a while...?

      >Lunicron turned from the sun, the tendrils of flame it had been slowly absorbing
      -Wait... it’s the Lunicron that is supposed to destroy the Sun, and not by Nightmare Moon’s power ?
      How does that work ? I mean, she apparently created a something-metal alloy that can not only resist the heat, radiations AND magnetic bursts of the Sun, but is also able to ‘’absorb’’ the fire, gas, and thermo-nuclear explosions from the WHOLE entirety of It ?
      Even for an anime that’s a bit big.

      ReplyDelete
    123. @Nova25
      >Redheart was silent, letting the fire in her eyes do the talking.
      -Yeah... She says nothing...
      Still say that Redheart is a strange idea for a Bearer.
      Since the beginning she’s a (very)side character, only there for bits of support, at only a few moments at that.
      Lyra-Bonbon-Vinyl-Octavia-Derpy, that would be the 5... Trixie as the elusive 6th Element : Magic.

      >“I think... I think that was pretty much officially the most awesome thing that will ever happen to anypony ever. Ever.”
      -Wait until the galactic game of pool. It’s played with planets and blackholes, and gods/goddesses of the galaxy all participate. Happens every 10 000Years

      >Lyra and Bon-Bon stood close together, and she pointed at the two of them in quick succession. “Rainbow Dash.”
      -Ahh... right... that ‘’thing’’ about the Element being in 2 halves or something...
      I still think Redheart is a bit of a random pony for an element, in any case.

      >the greatest city this world has ever known, bar perhaps Canterlot.
      -‘bar perhaps’ ? What is this ? Is it... a proper, and existing for real, way to say ‘’except maybe/perhaps’’ ?

      >the universe’s apaprent vendetta
      -‘’apparent’’ ? (medium error)

      >her essence detonated inside the sun, the corrupting nature of her energy has left the sun dangerously unstable!
      -Nightmare Moon is kinda like ‘iron’ for the Sun ? : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr8qvwJQkbM
      *The More you Know !*
      Also, somewhere in Equestria, there’s a Princess having a heart attack and questioning her decision to not do anything.

      >The green and cream glow that symbolised the Element of Loyalty emerged from the heaving orange ball and surrounded it.
      -Wait, wait... wait ! I just thought of something...
      Why didn’t they just grab the P.A.R.T.γ Canon, and shot a blast of Element(s) into the Sun’s core ? After all, all it needs is a ‘Harmony charge’ to counter-balance the ‘Negative charge’ from Nightmare Moon.
      But, humm, yeah... Throwing yourself into the Sun also works, I guess ?

      >“Oh wait, in this timeline I never... So I guess you haven’t! My mistake!”
      >“My name, you’ll be interested to hear, is Discord. I am the Spirit of Chaos
      -The movie is a micro-dimension ? Like the MLP:FiM series then... ;)
      There’s a pretty interesting theory involving the multi-dimension and the noosphere concepts.

      >looking for for so long
      -double words (small error)

      >“Cutie Mark Crusader City Conquerors! Yaaay!”
      -Huh… ok ? What are the young sisters(+Scootaloo) of 2 of the (mains) Elements doing there, in their theorical future ?

      >Harpflank and Sweets. Taking down crime, one week at a time.
      -Wouldn’t it have been better as : ‘’ Beating evil doers, one week at a time’’ ? They are more ‘heroes’ than polices, after all. (sound more like a ‘comic’ phrase too)

      -----

      Well, that was a LONG movie ? Actually finished that jumbo-popcorn bag, bacon flavoured :D.
      This 3rd part of the movie was pretty good, even though there were a few odd details here and there.
      Also... I don’t quite understand that ‘’epilogue’’ ?

      *If*, there’s a ‘’second season’’, it’s rather obvious that it will be against Discord, with the occasional side-villains passing by, but... You know, that ‘’I already won, and the entirety of creation already knows it, since I’m essentially a Deus-Ex-Machina’’ thing is a bit weird, if not ‘irritating’ in a way.

      ReplyDelete
    124. That. Was. So. Epic!

      The levels of awesomeness were so high that reading this story did somethng to my brain that rarely happens: it took hold of my mental jukebox and forced me to listen to apropos tunes.

      As soon as Luna said "The Moon will rise." or whatever that line was, Makkon's rendition of "For the New Lunar Republic began to blare. When I saw the moon hurtling through space on a trail of rainbows, Nyancat played. Then while the ponies gave their hotblooded "Ours is the friendship that CREATES THE HEAVENS" speech and crashed the moon into Lunicron's face, I couldn't get "Sorairo Days" out of my head. And finally, when Lyra and Bon-Bon resolved to teleport into the sun to save the world, Acoustic Brony and Mandopony's "Loyalty" chimed in (specifically, the final set of choruses (chori?) beginning with the vocal solo).

      Maybe those could be good background tracks to use when you finally get around to animating this sucker. A guy can dream...

      ReplyDelete
    125. I can't help but wonder as to what you have planned with ponies like Twilight Sparkle popping up again in the "present".

      Here's hoping for a Psycho Rangers episode where the element bearers meet up with Discord's elements of strife...maybe Discord's plans for subverting harmony entail using corrupted reincarnations of the original mane 6?

      ReplyDelete
    126. Oh hey, my internet is working again.

      @Whitespace Only: Wow, thank you for the RIDICULOUSLY high praise =p I have to deny it though. I hold no illusions that I'm writing anything other than pulpy nonsense x)

      @Silverspot: =3

      @0ne d3ad pon3: Actually, if I'm brutally honest, Season 2 can be pretty much directly attributed to you, because until you mentioned I hadn't even remotely considered the possibility. IT'S YOUR FAULT.

      @Alan: A salary for writing fanfiction would be awesome.

      @Bugsydor: Man your soundtrack is so close to mine. I had Gurren Lagann all over the place too. When I was writing the moon bit, I had the Gurren Lagann and GaoGaiGar soundtracks pretty much on loop, with some epic pony stuff thrown in (Vengeance In My Eyes is such a super robot song when instrumental). Tsuzuku Sekai, too.

      @Everyone: Is there any way to reply to multiple comments? I'm still pretty stoopid when it comes to how EqD works.

      ReplyDelete
    127. Sea Ponies.

      Riding on buckin' SHARKS.

      My life is complete. <3

      ReplyDelete
    128. NEW THEME SONG: The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army (Glitch Mob Remix)

      This needs to happen.

      ReplyDelete
    129. @Arcainum

      The reply button just adds a link to the post whose reply button you clicked.

      When you click reply it should open a pop up window/new tab and auto place the first line in the comment typing box at the bottom.

      Copy and paste that first line for each time you want to say @some person and have their name be clickable to take you to the comment. You'll need to change 2 things each time:

      1) the bit inside the quotation marks.

      2) the name of the person you are replying to.

      Find the post you want to reply to, then at the bottom you'll find the date stamp which is the permalink to that comment. At the end of that link is a hash (#) followed by c then a bunch of numbers. Copy the entire link to a text editor of your choice, then delete everything but the #c.... bit. That is what you use in part 1).

      Then for part 2 you just type the name of the person who you are replying to. You don't even need to spell it correctly or anything.

      Question about the story: how many parts will it be in the end, I've been holding off on starting reading as I don't want to finish what's written and be left on a cliffhanger.

      ReplyDelete
    130. @Sgt Byrd Ah, dangit. I figured that would be the only way. I was hoping there was some cunning, less hassleful way that I didn't know about =( Thanks anyway!

      As for how long the story will be... I honestly have no idea, sorry x.X Even this far in I'm literally making it up as I go along, which is part of the reason it's so disjointed.

      One way of looking at it is that anything from Season 1 (i.e. anything without "Season 2" specifically in the title) is the first 'book' with the Season Finale (eps 37-38) and Movie providing the overarching plot and everything else being silly one-shot fun. Then Season 2 will be 90% silly one-shot fun with hints of plot and a round-up near the end.

      It's less one big story and more a bunch of little stories set in the same world, so the only cliffhanger for quite a while will be the big story hook at the end of The Movie.

      ReplyDelete
    131. @Arcainum

      Cool, I'll add this to my read queue.

      Also, a while ago I tested trying to click multiple reply buttons for different posts, Blogger won't have none of that.

      ReplyDelete
    132. An ‘’episode 19’’ after the ‘’end’’ of the season, which insert itself between other preexisting episodes...? Even if they are ‘stand alone’ episodes, the author must be careful with his own continuity.

      -----

      Part 9... which is renamed by episode # now, so... #19 :

      >Will we get to meet the sea ponies? Oh, man, I can’t believe we’re gonna get to meet the... sea...”
      -Ahh, there we go ! :) ...Lyra’s interest for Sea Ponies.

      >You wouldn’t stop talking about them, or those ‘moomins’ or whatever you called them.”
      -It actually took me a good 30sec to figure out what ‘’moomins’’ was supposed to be ; Humans. But, it’s more their hands (and FANTASTIC opposable thumbs) that fascinates her. ;)

      >It also, Bon-Bon was surprised to notice, did not have a cutie mark.
      -Ah ? ...Really ? *Go check video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4TedkQP_hM *
      Well, what do you know... Seems like they don’t have ? I never really checked, if they had cutie marks before. They probably have some else, as an alternative.

      >As the M.A.R.E-commandeered train had carried Lyra and Bon-Bon further and further from Metropony
      -...wait ? I thought Metropony was relatively close to water (sea/ocean) ?
      In #27, the sea ponies install an embassy... yes, in a giant aquarium... but, it would be quite odd to place a water-based embassy in a city with no ‘relatively close’ access to your own element(sea/ocean) ?

      >“A sofa? A clam sofa? Okay, this was worth it.”
      -A clam-sofa-‘’car’’... my question is : does it have the radio ? ;)

      >Due to overwhelming fan demand, the following 1:15 has been cut from this broadcast.
      -Shoo bee doo ! Shoo Shoo... wait ? ‘’Shoop’’ ? : http://www.kimsites.net/dreamvalley/songs_specials.html#sea_ponies
      Ah ? Well, ‘’shoo bee doo’’ sounds better than ‘’shoop bee doo’’, anyway.

      >First they were led to the great vats where the mulch that seemed to be the sea pony’s only source of nourishment
      -Huh... only source ? There’s about several tens, if not hundreds of different sea ‘’vegetables’’(plants they could eat), you know ?

      >“A Lobstertron?! It’s always robots with you!”
      -What ? No Sharktron ? ...or waves of piranhabots ?

      >“Um, yes! Cower in fear! You are powerless before my Death... uh... Transform-O-Ray!”
      -Heh. :) ...Seapony Lyra :D : http://www.deviantart.com/download/254334349/meanwhile_under_the_sea_by_johnjoseco-d47f9n1.jpg

      >And apparently mounted them on sharks.
      -A shark-charging attack, by harpoon-armed sea ponies ? That does sounds relatively epic ;).

      >“Call upon the... Kraken?”
      -They have ‘’summoners’’ now ? ;)

      >“So, still obsessed with the sea ponies?”
      >Lyra thought for a moment
      >“They’re not bad.”
      -So... aside from a bit too much singing and a sea ponification (which was reverted later)... Lyra only has good things about them. So, why does she ‘’vehemently protests’’, back in #27 (unless this was edited) ?

      -----

      Well, that was a great and quite enjoyable part, really. :)
      Somehow, I see sharks having lasers strapped on their head, in the future (guess the reference). :D

      (*cough* I have the power ! I have the... LINKS ! *thunder sound*)

      Also, by some random laws of universal hazard, I found myself *watching(no sound)* the ‘Call Upon The Sea Ponies’ video, while *listening* to the ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ music... this was somewhat-strangely awesome.

      ReplyDelete
    133. @Nova25 I will admit that continuity is not really high on my list of priorities.

      Basically, from this point on, you should count yourself lucky if the story develops x) I have way too much fun writing one-shots =p

      I'm going to do my best to round it all off well, but my plan from now on is "write whatever episodes I feel like and put them out as they're done." It's as if you're watching a careless network throwing out repeats! =D

      ReplyDelete
    134. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    135. @Arcainum
      Of course, by continuity here I meant : Stuff like the 'sea ponies interactions', the moment they 'get' X piece of equipment (like jetpacks, nanosuits, aqua-suits, etc...).
      ...'That' kind of continuity, since I'm aware they the ''episodes'' are mostly one-shots and all.

      Just, at least, a minimal level of attention to the obvious details, you know.

      ReplyDelete
    136. @Nova25 Oh, that. S'cool. Yeah, they won't use any tech don't have yet or mention people they don't know or anything.

      Unless, yknow, I feel like it =p

      ReplyDelete
    137. Honestly I wouldn't worry too much about the disjointedness of the stories, or any potential continuity snarls. I'd just embrace it all as part of the zany retro Saturday morning fun. Those kind of cartoons could be notorious for incidents of non-continuity after all.

      Anyway, loved Ep-19, seaponies, heh. Personally I prefer it when they are modeled after Hippocampus for the mythology reference, but I can't blame you for using the more seahorse like anatomy as that's what the classic toys were based on.

      Overall I don't have much to say that hasn't already been said. The episode was pretty standard fair. Nothing too ground breaking save the shock value of an exotic location and the ponies that live there, but that's pretty much what is too be expected with the episodic nature of a series like this. I did enjoy that you worked in a Seapony Lyra reference. Probably should have seen it coming, but somehow it managed to pleasantly surprise me. I must wonder though, what kind of viewers would demand the removal of the song? It's just so epic.

      ReplyDelete
    138. @62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996 Sometimes I lament that I'm bound by the laws of text, because there would be SO MANY musical numbers if I wasn't.

      ReplyDelete
    139. Okay wow the ending to S202 is seriously bugging me. It's awful, I never should have submitted it, but I guess I stayed up too late again! I'ma buff it up when I get back from work in a few hours.

      ReplyDelete
    140. The CMC mentioned their sisters.

      Which implies that the previous Bearers of the Elements are, in fact, still around, just behind the scenes.

      CANNOT WAIT for the inevitable appearance... I sense a series finale (or second movie?) along the lines of the Extreme Ghostbusters episode "Back in the Saddle." Or possibly a special anniversary-commemoration like the Power Rangers episode "Forever Red."

      ReplyDelete
    141. @Silverspot THE MYSTERY DEEPENS

      Also, oh my god, those episodes were SO GOOD. Have you seen the Super Sentai crossover movie they're doing? Every group. Ever. One movie.

      ReplyDelete
    142. Commissioner Carrot Top? Overworked Derpy? Copper showing some guts? Cutie Mark Crusaders FOR SCIENCE? Epic slow-mo shot?

      Win.

      Next episode needs some Trixie, because canon movie is canon.

      ReplyDelete
    143. o3o A non shipfic with Lyra and Bon-Bon? Instant read.

      ReplyDelete
    144. There we go, S202 ending is better now. It's amazing how two paragraphs can make so much difference.

      ReplyDelete
    145. Season 2 Episode 2 (...part 10):

      >“What’s taking her so long? We were supposed to start crusading almost an hour ago!”
      -Weren’t the CMC blowing stuff at the end of the ‘’first movie’’ ? I wonder what happened... and how they got out of it... and stuff, you know ?

      >“Maybe she’s still working. My sister made me help her out today; she’s really busy.”
      -*GASP !* The main 6 might be alive ! ...isn’t this supposed to be an alternative future-dimension where they existed in the ‘past’ ? Strange...

      >Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow, skeptical as to the doll’s efficacy for cutie mark acquisition.
      -Cutie mark acquisition ? She’s a robot ! (guess the reference ;) )

      >Mah sister got hold o’ some Chemical X for me
      -Huhhh... Power Puff Girl reference, maybe ?

      >causing many trouble in their lives at home as betrayed friends and family turned their backs.
      -Waaaait what ? ‘’betrayed friends’’ ? This ‘population’ appear to be filled with ungrateful morons, or is it just me ?
      ‘’You’re part of a secret group that continuously prevented us from dieing and be conquered (and DIEING! Can’t stress that one enough.) many/countless times in horribly painful ways ? You MONSTER !’’ ... ?_? ...

      >The Metropony Police Commissioner, Carrot Top
      -Not sure why, but I’m suddenly thinking of something... Does the town as a ‘’Batmare’’ ? ;)
      Also... heh, friend of Derpy. :)
      (also #2, well... I’m still missing a Dinky reference, for Derpy...)

      >And, forgive me for saying, but hundred-metre-tall robots having a wrestling match in Celestia Plaza tends to disrupt the flow.
      -It’s not like it was their fault ? Also, see how well ‘’police’’ would do against GIANT robots, mmh ?

      >Now go do whatever it is you do. Copper will meet you outside.”
      -Really, their new ‘’partner’’ is gonna be an unknown OC ? ...not even a random more-ore-less known background pony ? ...bleh.

      >“Oh, because your team will have better gear than us, right? Your police issue stuff sucks.”
      -She has a point. As ‘police’ EVER had better stuff than heroes and villains, in movies/series and such ?

      >It extended itself between the strip of cloth and another nearby, and brought them closer. Then, very slowly, it began to sew them together with itself.
      -It’s the terminator doll ! Kill it with fire ! ...and guns ...and acid ...and metal in fusion, if available. An anti-magic field might also be recommended for this.

      -----

      A pretty good and interesting story... Hulk-Terminator Doll was an odd/somewhat funny ‘thing’ to beat.

      ...mmh. Suddenly, I wonder, if we will see a few ‘’other (private/independent) heroes’’ running/appearing around ? Like a ‘Batmare’ or a ‘Mare-Do-Well’... even if just for 1 ‘’episode’’ or as an occasional cameo, or something ?

      ReplyDelete
    146. There's a couple of things that bother me about Season 2 thus far. First of all, where in Celestia's name is Trixie? You spent half of this episode going into detail about how life has changed since M.A.R.E. went public, but one thing I'm curious about is how the public took news of Trixie not being one of the "bad guys" anymore. What is she doing now? Is she helping Vinyl and Octavia make more equipment? Is she out on the front lines (less likely, but still possible)? This is something that needs to be addressed. Also, I can't see the CMC as good villains. They're too innocent for this "Cutie Mark Crusaders City Conquerors" nonsense. Unless you have a really good explanation for that, I'm not sure this is such a good idea.

      ReplyDelete
    147. @Nimbus the Unicorn The CMC aren't really villains, more a disruptive influence. They gave "City Conquerors" a shot in The Movie finale, and it obviously hasn't worked out, so they've just moved on. Hence Apple Bloom's recent foray into... whatever it was she did to Smarty Pants.

      As for Trixie, the lack of any mention of her is indeed a mystery. Maybe the next episode will shed some light? I agree I should've put something about the populace's reaction to her Heel Face Turn though. Missed opportunity there.

      ReplyDelete
    148. @Arcainum

      That makes for sense, I guess, but the problem is you introduced them as villains, and there's no indication of them giving up on that. And you have to wonder what in Celestia's name they were planning to do with Smarty Pants if it wasn't to take over the city.

      And about Trixie, there is no Season 2 Episode 1 as of yet, so if you don't have anything planned for that episode, maybe you could use that to fill in the blanks.

      ReplyDelete
    149. @Nimbus the Unicorn Cutie Mark Crusader modus operandi:

      1. Infuse doll with life
      2. ????
      3. Cutie mark!

      That's how I see pretty much all their plans, even in the show =p

      As for Trixie, I was trying to be myste~rious, by which I meant the next episode WILL shed some light. When it's done. Which I swear is happening.

      You've also reminded me that I totally need to plot out S201. WHEN DID THIS BECOME A JOB? ;_;

      ReplyDelete
    150. They turned to face her, moving to each others' side. They stood on their hind legs back to back. Octavia folded her forelegs, while Vinyl placed hers on her hips. She grinned, a beam of light from outside catching her teeth in just the right way to produce that particular gleam that can only be described as 'ting'.

      This line here? This is why Harpflank and Sweets is awesome.

      Oh, regarding multi-page vs published, I personally don't mind, but the multi-page version does allow readers to download a copy of the doc to their own computer, which is a nice feature to have available.

      ReplyDelete
    151. @Whitespace Only Moments like that are basically me projecting my desire to be able to draw onto the screen. I SEE THESE THINGS BUT I CANNOT MAKE OTHERS DO THE SAME

      Hmm, there is that. Another advantage is that it doesn't take half an hour for last-minute changes to go through. I can think of a few comments where people have corrected me on something I just corrected x)

      ReplyDelete
    152. Episode by someone else... Someone else ?

      Sooo... Episode 30 ? A good while after the ‘attack on the aquarium embassy’, and some time before the ‘sneaky flim-flam trap’...
      Well, let’s see how this one will do.

      Also, the real name for it is ‘’the lost episode’’ or ‘’new players’’ ? Or both ?

      -----

      Episode 30: New Players :

      >OUR ADVERSARIES HAVE NOT ONLY DISCOVERED US, BUT SNEAKED PAST ALL OUR DEFENCES AND HACKED YOUR SYSTEMS FOR EVERY PIECE OF RESEARCH YOU HAVE THUS FAR COMMITTED TO MY CAUSE.
      -Is this a thing that ‘’diverge’’ from the normal continuity of the ‘main story’, on purpose ?
      Surely not The Agency that’s responsible, since we never hear of that, at all, in future parts, and probably temporary, since Nightmare Moon will never refer to this later.
      1 Theory : CMC, or something related to the mysterious ‘main cast’.

      >“YOU WENT TO CONSIDERABLE FINANCIAL TROUBLE TO DISABLE THEIR INFERNAL NANOTECHNOLOGY LAST WEEK.
      -...but they still have working suits in later ‘’episodes’’ ? So... temporary too, for this ‘’episode’’ I suppose.

      >Harpflank and Sweets meagre abilities are no match for my genius, no matter what information they may have!”
      -This implies it’s The Agency that is responsible... Oook... breaking continuity now ?
      Unless Trixie just ‘’think’’ it’s them, but it’s not really them.

      >Ah told Scootaloo there was way too much Fos-fur-us in that thing!
      -Wait, what now ? ...is ‘this’ author really just gonna take everything that happens/is found/discovered/learned/revealed *LATER*, and put all of it in this Part, or something ?
      This is getting ridiculous.

      ... Making Surprise a ‘maniacal’ villain ? Negative points on that ...

      >“So, you’re going to try and stop the endless cycle of destruction by causing more destruction. Well, that makes perfect sense.”
      -... ... ...The weird ‘’Child’’ from Mass Effect 3, is that you ? She sure has the same logic as ‘’him’’, at least.

      >“What? No! Snips, Snails shut it down! Shut it-“
      -Weren’t those 2 blown out with the Lunatron, in Ep.27, by the ‘Giant Cello’ ? They sure have an awesome health-insurance, in the Evil Empire.

      >Miss Mysterious shot straight up like a rocket.
      -Sooo... random extra hero, appearing just like that, at barely 5min from the end ?
      Might have made a greater/more favorable impact, if it had showed up a bit earlier... just saying.

      >Lyra was sure those blank goggles were looking straight at her.
      -Wait, what ? ...it seriously ends like ‘THAT’ ?

      What about all the *mega important information and researches* stolen from Nightmare Moon (which will never be referenced in future episode, so far) ?
      What about Bon-Bon’ state ! She’s still beaten, half-dead, at the science fair...

      -----

      No offence, but... what did I just read ?

      I think I now get the first title... the ‘’lost episode’’. Got cut of the series, because it revealed a bunch of stuff too early, and was doing odd things to the continuity of the rest of the series... yeah.

      Random ‘critical mass of info and tech’ stolen from Nightmare Moon base itself... Someone apparently knows Nightmare Moon’s hyper-triple secret-hidden location, well in advance... Nanosuits conveniently get disabled for the duration of the episode, just so the heroes can get a beating... Random new super-bad girl(kinda like a clone of/with Discord’s mentality ?) and super-hero(which shows up for 30sec, just to save the day ?)... Early 10sec appearance of the CMC (just because ?), which would just serve to diminish the ‘‘shock’’ of their reveal, in the last S1 episode...

      Honestly, it wasn’t ‘’bad’’, but... I don’t know, there was something in the way it used the ‘details’ and what ‘details’ it selected/introduced, that doesn’t looked right ?

      ReplyDelete
    153. S2.Ep22, form the original author... Ep.22, that’s quite a leap in the future ;).
      A lot of new things surely happened... I wonder, if there will be things about the elusive ‘main cast’ ?

      -----

      S2.EP22 :

      >declared sarcastically that obviously this was the magical wavelength of everything at once.
      -Something is taking the bet that it IS, in fact, the answer ? ;) I would bet... this Cookie! It’s a ‘Mana’ cookie.
      ...also, I’m thinking of a ‘Multiphasic blaster’, for some reasons ?

      >Derpy sighed as Lyra’s voice called out, muffled, from behind Fluttershy
      -Fluttershy ? *GASP !* Fluttershy ! ...one of the ‘Elusive 6’ (name not registered).

      >we could really do with Twilight Sparkle. Before Trixie took her Celestia-knows-where
      -*re-GASP!* Twilight ! ...well, seem they got in contact with (probably) all (if not most) of the ‘Elusive 6’.
      The explanation, as to why they aren’t centuries old, is probably in a previous (to be made) episode, I presume.

      >None of the Bearers so far have had any recollection of their previous lives
      -Mmh, interesting... were they displaced from their original timeline (by Discord ?) ? Plenty of theories here.
      Still wondering about the CMC, in relation to them, since they are normally from the same ‘time period’...

      >“My bonus had better be astronomical this year.”
      -They are paid ? ;)

      >“We have a reservation under the name Deep Blue.”
      -This infiltration shall be played like... a game of chess ! ;)

      >Piece of cak-
      >It was at precisely this moment that the entire front wall of the foyer exploded.
      -The cake... it’s a lie ! ...and also cursed, apparently. The word seems to trigger bad stuff to happen.

      >Each had a katana/wakizashi pair slung across their back
      -50 ninja ponies ? That comes straight from the MMM-episode isn’t it ;) ?

      >Vinyl realised that every single one of these ponies’ hair was - and there was simply no other way to say it - fabulous.
      -The Fashion Police... it exists for real ;) ? And they apparently recruit ninjas.

      >“I, Photo Finish... have arrived!”
      -I, for one, hadn’t seen that one coming.
      But, she already seems great, I mean... she has an army of fashionable pony ninjas :D ! The only thing missing is a bunch of elegant pony pirates.

      >“Photo Finish! Legendary leader of the Fashion Police!
      -... !_! ... I swear, I was only joking when I said that. Funny coincidence, really.

      >taking in its sinuous form, expertly coiffed mane and elegant fangs.
      -Steven the Sea serpent, I would presume ?

      >presumably returning to whatever vast channel had allowed his entry.
      -You know, for a second I thought he would be returning to the ocean, by ‘’sliding’’ through the streets.
      That would have been quite an amusing sight ;). A sea serpent stopping to ask which direction for the ocean ;).

      -----

      Well, that was one quite good and ‘fabulously’ (wait, that’s a real word?) amusing ‘’episode’’, I must say.

      The ‘fashion police’ part was one of those great/funny moment where you think, while half-joking, ‘’Ha, that’s so gonna happen’’, then it really happens and you are all like ‘’Wait, it really happened ?! 0_o’’.

      ReplyDelete
    154. I like the new, unpublished way better. Mostly because the published one is almost impossible to read in mobile, which is what I usually must rely on.

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    155. ...and so now we're recruiting the original element bearers, Trixie is off on a mystical sojourn with Twilight, Fluttershy is assisting Redheart, Rainbow Dash will be joining Lyra and BonBon as a field agent, Rarity is heading up ExTech PR, oh and now Octavia & Vinyl have super powers. Wow, just wow, and here I was starting to think this series might have hit some kind of plateau and couldn't get any more crazy awesome.

      It was all a little confusing at first. Fluttershy showing up when the mane six had only ever previously been referenced as legendary figures caught me heavily off guard, but that's just par for the course with the anachronistic episode order that is part of this series bread and butter. That said, I do very much hope the author will be going back and covering some of those other recruitment episodes.

      Also Photo Finish leading an army of fashion ninjas might just be the most absurdly hilarious idea in the history of cheesy over the top villains ever. Seriously, were do idea like this even come from. I don’t know what insane cocktail of designer drugs this author is on, but I think I need to get me some.

      ----------------
      PS: I'm digging the new cover art. It's nice to have a visual reference for Lyra and BonBon in their masked alter egos

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    156. @62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996 I was aiming for that feeling you got, to use an example I've already used because I'm lazy, when you came in halfway through Gargoyles and "Wait, Xanatos is a good guy now?!" Or ReBoot, "ENZO'S THE GUARDIAN?!" But you kept watching anyway because you'd see the earlier episodes eventually. I guess I nailed it?

      It's typical of how regrettably little thought I put into the arc as a whole that one of the biggest reveals of the entire plot comes in the form of Fluttershy's hairdo.

      The drug I use for ideas is part lack of sleep, part sugar-rush and part reading the MLP:FiM character list until I hit someone I like. Seems to be working out!

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    157. An ‘’intermission’’ ...that’s new ? Mmh, what kind of ‘episode’ an ‘intermission’ possibly can be ?

      -----

      Intermission :

      >A great emptiness, a sense of loss she could hardly believe possible
      >This is so stupid. It doesn’t matter if it’s gone. I can live without it.
      -Sigh... let me guess ? Through some yet unknown reverse deus-ex-machina, she lost the ability to use magic ? (temporarily, of course...)

      >Friendship is Science
      -My Little Humans : Friendship is Science. This win the prize, ladies and gentleponies !
      Also... SCIENCE!

      >and there was a moment’s silence.
      -‘’of silence’’, you mean ?

      >“The music, okay? The music won’t come. I don’t hear it anymore.
      -Ah ? ...she has a ‘’writer’’ block ? I thought it might have been something, well, ‘’more’’ than that, honestly.

      >from both roiling clouds and chiming harp... >The sound of rain.
      -Makes me think of ‘Ocarina of Time’, for some reasons.
      And, for the heck of it : http://www.zeldadungeon.net/Zelda05-ocarina-of-time-ocarina-songs.php#f (more exactly, the ‘Song of Storm’)

      -----

      Well, seems like this ‘Intermission’ was essentially a small ‘slice of life’, in a day of the hero(s).
      It was pretty simple, and relatively good.

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    158. So, yeah, I've started doing random little one-shots set in the Harpflank and Sweets universe buuut that's just one more thing that isn't suited for EqD's release model! So, anyways, if you see a chapter that isn't named "Episode Something," then it's not an actual chapter, it's a side-story.

      Also if you read Interval you'll realise that these one-shots may not necessarily be the same thematically!

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    159. @Arcainum
      Where did the ''Intermission'' go ? I don't see it on this page or on the 'fimfiction thingy' ?

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    160. S2.EP11 :

      >it had become affectionately known amongst its clientele as “The Element of Barmony,”
      -Heh. I find that one funnier than it probably is. ;)

      >or fending off whoever decides they’re a super-villain today
      -This is something that, oddly enough, seems quite frequent in fantasy universes. ;)

      >There’s all kinds of rumours about him! Like, he’s so inspirational, he once got a rock and a tree to start a relationship!
      -Tom and Bloomberg ?
      Bah... I heard they broke up. Something about a ‘’storm’’ in their relationship. Tom ‘rolled’ the other way, and Bloomberg ‘fell’ for an exotic Maple Tree. :3

      >The pegasus shook her head and shuffled her hooves. Every movement was hesitant, careful, as if Lyra was a bomb
      -Hmm ? Well, what an odd and unknown--
      >“Um, no. I arrived late and nopony was here, so I, um...”
      -..Fluttershy.

      ... Mind-control video with subliminal message ? I suppose it’s an ‘’evil plan’’ that can work, if you’re lucky ...

      >and Iron Will’s unique affinity for taking shortcuts through walls
      -You had think this would not be a very ‘’silent’’ way to escape ?

      >“I think the jig’s up, brother o’ mine.”
      -*GASP!* Nooooes ! The Horrible FlimFlam brothers !

      >With a flash, the arcing light faded and revealed...
      >“... A goat in a top hat?”
      -What a ridiculous sight this must be ? ...he doesn’t even have the reglementary monocle. And, he’s a goat.

      >Griffons, ponies, zebras, dragons... even rabbits are more respected.
      -Rabbits have rights ?

      >“Oh, no... Not you too.”
      >Bon-Bon raised her hoof to strike.
      -Well, everypony its turn, I guess. Lyra in that one episode (though, it was (semi-)willingly), and BonBon in this one.

      >Her extra height took her into the flying goat’s trajectory and she caught its head between her hooves, spinning in the air and using its momentum to hurl it at Bon-Bon’s sliding form.
      -Almost looks like a Quick Time Event against a boss.

      >“Mr. Will, could you please put my face on the screen?”
      >Twenty thousand ponies collectively shrunk back in shame.
      -Fluttershy’s ‘doom gaze’, now in HD and wide-screen ? Considered a weapon of mass-destruction(subjugation) in some countries.

      -----

      A rather interesting chapter. Also, I suppose this ‘goat villain’ is one of those mentioned ‘’1-a-day’’ villains ?

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    161. @Nova25 It's a separate story on FiMFiction, as originally intended.

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    162. @Arcainum
      But, as you said, it's a ''side-story'' still connected to the 'realm' of this story, so... Shouldn't it be in a 'side-story' section on this page too ?

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