Author: Pav Feira
Description: Rainbow Dash attends her hometown's Millennial Summer Sun Celebration, where she meets a peculiar pink pony. When a strange portal appears during the testing of Twilight Sparkle's latest invention, and pulls their new companion inside, the two friends give chase and embark on the most important adventure in all of history.My Little Chrono - Triggers Are Magic (New Part 26-27!)
My Little Chrono - Triggers Are Magic (Alternate)
Additional Tags: Chrono Trigger, Crossover, Video Game, Time Travel
226 comments:
@Xaos
ReplyDelete>basically said that they were travelling past their OWN timeline. As in, if they fix this problem, they could potentially regress and unbirth themselves.
-When you go back in time... *you*, the time traveller, doesn't get a second younger (or older, if toward the future).
I really doubt 'this' is what she meant.
Also, based on some of the various theories and stuff (there's quite a lot of things and theories surrounding time-travel. Quantum, etc...), it's possible that whatever time-traveller do in the past will not affect ''them'' (or not immediately, at least). There's a lot of interesting talks and theories around this...
But, it would take too long to fully and properly explain here.
>Also, most of your other complaints are really nitpicky.
>Some of your points are less anal-retentive than others
-Trying to ''politically correct'' insult-like expressions isn't making them that much less insulting.
I mean, ''anal-retentive'', really ? -_-
Also, most of what *you* see as 'bad nitpicking' (as you put in such ''charming'' words, right after) is nothing more than the average observations, thoughts, and opinions that invariably come up as someone read a story, watch a series, etc... -_-
It's nothing obstructive, UNLESS you go out of your way to make a fuss about it, and has the potential to provide some useful insight if you look at it a bit.
>Swear words? Really? And also, they've BEEN in this fic.
-Some yes... there's that thing called 'cumulative effect', you know ?
>Hell, they've been in lots of Pony fics.
-Yes, so ? Where are we again ? Of what story are WE talking about *here* ?
I don't mix stories, unless a reference is relevant, and I certainly don't bring issues of OTHER stories I read, to other stories I'm reading.
>you are late by a -significant- margin to register this particular complaint.
-Again, other stories are OTHER stories.
Some OTHER stories use mild/light swearing in a context that *work* and/or is believable for the characters. (which doesn't necessarily make its use mandatory or a good idea, mind you)
For this story, here... as I said : >It doesn’t make their sentences ‘’more’’, by adding those like that.
Meaning that, here, for those characters, adding random swearing doesn't add ANY emotion, or impact, or interest in what's going on.
Having her 'speak' angrily would work just as well and make more sense with Chrono and RD who both don't swear (game/series).
Like : As she ever had good reasons or motivations to swear in her past, and etc... as to justify her swearing ?
>In the mean time, some of us are getting quite a lot of this story, thank you very much.
Yes ? That's good ? ... ...I have no idea what point your are trying to make there, but whatever ?
I also enjoy this story, even with his flaws here and there, since... well... there's that expression saying : 'Perfection isn't from this world' ?
I'm also at CH.19, in case you haven't saw.
I'm not really feeling Chapter Nineteen. I honestly don't see Rainbow Dash reacting so selfishly to be left in the dark about Twilight's or Twilight's similar reaction to Rainbow's reaction unless it was as bad as everyone else's behavior in the Season 2 premire.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders as villains were the chapter's saving graces--- for the most part. Thanks to those five characters and the boss fight the chapter was only Devil May Cry levels of bad: there were good things but the Twilight/Dashie rift for most the chapter (on top of that time-travel detail and the swearing thing--- which Nova does a better job of pointing out) out-weighs the good by quite a margin. In a nutshell, this chapter was enjoyable to a degree but it can't really be considered good while the whole friendship rift thing could've been handle better, at a different time and over a different issue to argue about.
And then there's Pinkie giving RD a cooldown hug. It would've made more sense to have Pinkie pull the hug after mentioning that the enemies have stopped attacking or if Dashie began avoiding fast kills, began decapitating her enemies, and/or taking delight in the kills themselves. Otherwise, all I see is RD coping with the loss of her friend by becoming more boastful and fiercer in combat while Pinkie is trying to weigh her down at the worst possible time.
Thankfully, with the rift gone, I look forward to the next chapter with confidence.
Couple of corrections to make:
ReplyDelete-Twilight's is supposed to be "Twilight keeping her in the dark."
-i meant Devil May Cry 2. Not the original game.
Ch20 is in the queue! I missed the cutoff for tonight's story update, so look for it tomorrow. Now, time to reply to some of these here comments...
ReplyDeleteFeedback on Ch19 has been curious, to say the least. Generally, feedback has been a lot more... consistent, I guess? Everyone loved X. Everyone hated Y. For Chapter 19, opinions have been all over the map. I loved how you handled the fight. I hate how you handled the fight. RD was more sympathetic than Twi. Twi was more sympathetic than RD. And so forth. It's just curious to see how different readers are taking different messages away from that section. (And knowing what I have planned for later chapters, it might be a sign of things to come... *gulp*)
>If you keep going, you’ll end up traveling back to before we met each other!
>Explaining the joke
Actually, @Xaos was on the money here. Pinkie was expecting the fairgrounds Gate to take them back to 600AD. Instead, they landed in the EoT. Shocked by this, she jumped into Pinkie Logic. The last timezone that they were in, before landing in Palomedina 1000AD, was the EoT. And here they are, back in the EoT. "Clearly", in her mind, each time hop is regressing them along their personal timeline. With enough time hops, they would undo meeting each other and becoming friends.
Obviously, I'm aware that time travel, especially in this universe, doesn't work like that. Tell her that. :P
@Nova25
>Has she ever had good reasons or motivations to swear in her past
Mmm... well arguably, does anyone? Is there such a thing as a "good reason" to curse? For what it's worth, the frequency of Dash's potty mouth is on a downward trend.
@Nova25
>Ohhhhh... dear... by the 9 Hells ! I just... *BOOT to the Head* You know, whatever... for all I care, now... It’s like a hemorrhage of lost potential.
This "average observation" was... emphatic, to say the least. I'm sorta curious who exactly you were expecting, if not the CMC. (inb4 you read Ch20)
@darkartsfart
>It would've made more sense to have Pinkie pull the hug after mentioning that the enemies have stopped attacking or if Dashie began avoiding fast kills, began decapitating her enemies, and/or taking delight in the kills themselves.
The first part was a derp on my behalf. I wasn't trying to imply that the Pinkie-hug was actively sabotaging Rainbow in the middle of a fight @_@ My intent was that there was some fighting still going on on the bridge, but RD herself had finished and was out of combat when Pinkie started glomping her. But that's not clear in the current doc, so adding that to the list of fixes for the second revision...
For the second part, that was the vibe I was going for. In all of the previous combat, Rainbow had never been fueled by anger, so this change was enough to concern PP. I could've translated that anger into sadism or gore like you suggested, but for the most part, I've been trying to stick to more of a "light fantasy violence" level, and avoid needless gore and such.
>Wait, so you're too squeamish to show a little blood, but you have Dashie dropping F-bombs left and right?
Yeah yeah, hush :P
On the topic of missed potential with the CMC's: For Magus' lackeys, I figured Gilda would've made a good Slash, utilizing the same fighting style/weapon and being a rival/counterpart to Dashie. Photo Finish would make a good Flea if you allow her to gain non-unicorn access to Da Magicks like the others did, since she's obsessed with beauty. I suppose Blueblood could complete the trio as he is too pampered/cowardly to really do any fighting on his own and would totally lock himself in a magic shell.
ReplyDeleteOh my Celestia. I've been thinking about writing EXACTLY this type of crossover for three weeks now, and it's already happening? I don't even.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as you mentioned the Lyrabon I instantly recognized what the Chrono Trigger reference was, as well as why it's currently named the Lyrabon (a sign of good writing) and started laughing.
ReplyDeleteFrog as Rarity, huh? Why didn't I get that before (a good choice).
And snails as the legendary hero? Priceless!
The Lyrabon? I see what you did there. :3
ReplyDelete@Pav Feira
ReplyDelete-Who, instead of those 3 ?
I had a few possible ''people'' in mind, but none 'really' fixed for them... just not little cute and adorable fillies, instead of the the group of 3 'heteroclite and evil' bad guys.
Patton, here : @General Patton have a selection that would have fitted their role about right.
Gilda for Slash, but Blueblood (with his haughtiness and vanity) for Flea... not sure for Ozzie, maybe a Diamond Dog(one of the 3 who have a name?).
But, mostly, at this moment... it was the realization that the roles of a great trio of 'bad guys' had been filled by 3 little cute fillies(which could have had other more 'fitting' roles for them). Like replacing Dracula with Bugs Bunny.
Somewhat of a bad ''shock''. (maybe too big of a ''shock'').
« One of the most dangerous forms of human error is forgetting what one is trying to achieve.
ReplyDelete-Paul Nitze. »
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CH.20 :
>If he found the actual Hero’s Medal, then he’s probably trying to get his hooves on the Lyrabon.
-Yeah, ''Lyrabon''. At first, when reading the other comments, I was wondering what 'that' was/was going to be exactly (distantly having the 2 mares' name in mind), then... literally 4 lines into this chapter : *sudden realisation* ''Ahhhh... oook. Those 2, the masamune, the ''dual-creature'', Lyra - Bonbon... I see. Mmh, interesting.''
>Shoot, even the old Bolt Knight Captain, Sir Spike, went a-lookin’ for it
-Heh... Even though the choice for Rarity has Frog/Glenn is still somewhat shaky(is she even green/frog-like as him ? I forgot her appearance, since the 6th CH), at least 'THIS' choice for Cyrus 'kinda' consolidate it a bit.
The 'dream Spike, as a Knight(from that one episode)' certainly work for his portrait.
>“It’s quite the statement! It just screams ‘industry’ and ‘progress.’”
-Industry and progress, you say ? : http://tinyurl.com/rarityisindustry
>“Rainbow.” Pinkie Pie looked down at her hooves >“I kinda think we should tell her, y’know?”
-Huh... so far, RD has been THE one to reveal stuff about their 'time-travelling' and adventures, to just about anyone ready(or not) to listen.
Why is she suddenly 'so much' hesitating ? Doesn't seem to work with her usual behavior.
Normally, it's Twilight that try to be secret and 'hesitant to reveal information'.
>Still, she was born that way, so you really shouldn’t call attention to it like that.”
-Born... that way..? Even for Pinky Pie, that one weird thing to think 'first' ? Are half-pony half-*other animal* THAT common in their world ?
Considering what they experienced so far, I would have ''suspected'' something else... like a disease or an 'evil curse' of some kind.
>“Here’s the legendary hero: my best friend, Snails!”
-*raise an eyebrow* ... *shrug* It's a case of ''the village's idiot thinking he's ''super-great'' because of a medal'', instead of the 'random young kid finding a medal', I see ?
Well, at least it gives this small character something more to it.
-----
Interesting chapter. Good for the fact that it makes me want(a bit more) to see next chapter (CH.21), for the ''Lyrabon'' thing. Hopefully, they will reach it in one chapter...
Oh my goodness yes! This is going to be an epic read.
ReplyDelete@General Patton
ReplyDelete@Nova25
Ah, gotcha. I could absolutely see that casting working. My rationale, I suppose, is that I wanted to up-play Ozzie&co.'s status as joke villians—more along the lines of the Ozzie's Fort quest. Not to imply that the CMC will be complete pushovers. Nor to imply that Patton's cast picks wouldn't have worked as joke villains. Rest assured, I do have plans in store for the CMC, though I hate using the "this'll make sense eventually, trust me" crutch.
>Why is she suddenly 'so much' hesitating ? Doesn't seem to work with her usual behavior.
Hmm. The rationale was that RD wasn't exactly eager to disclose what they'd learned about Lavos, as it's a bit of a downer. True, though, this does run contrary to RD/Twi's running gag. ...can I retroactively claim that I was subverting that joke? No? Okay :(
@everyone, re: Lyrabon
I regret nothing. (⌐■_■)
"Huh huh. I am a legend."
ReplyDeleteI can HEAR Snails' voice saying that.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteLyrabon is an awesome name and you should FEEL awesome!
You know, I can't believe I didn't comment on this, but this may be the first time I've read a fic where Rainbow Dash actually hit on a stallion.
ReplyDeleteEven if she WAS just kidding.
Still my brain was going: 0_0 "Rainbow....YOU'RE A GIRL!"
Rainbow: -_- ....*proceeds to beat the hell out of Xaos*
Leave it to Rarity to seamlessly not mention anything about the hero and gleefully encourage them further. Also, Snails? Really?
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for the next chapter :-)
I'm a terrible hypocrite since I haven't made any progress on my story all Summer but...
ReplyDeleteAre you still working on this story? You've been gone for a while. I really enjoyed your work.
@Xaos
ReplyDeleteHmm... uh...
/me does a quick Google
So, I think I got derp'd out of a Story Update post o_O But if you're reading this message, and you haven't read Ch21 yet, it's been posted! Check the links at the top of the post here. And I'm about 5k or so into Ch22 (though it's gonna be a long one, from the looks of it). So yep, definitely alive. Thanks for hanging around!
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteOh.
OH! Holy crap.
Maybe I should follow on fimfiction.
In fact, EQD has been slow on updating "Silent Ponyville: Reunion" behind the DA's actual update.
« “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.”
ReplyDelete-Elie Wiesel. »
« “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
-Dr. Seuss. »
-----
Is has been quite a while, hasn't it ? I should remember most important details, I think...
---
The Hero Is Chosen : CH.21 : (Ye which got lost in EQ.Daily's mail ?)
>“This is a strength conditioning drill. The two of you are gonna need to bulk up fast if you want to have any hopes of defeating Nightmare Moon.”
-That, or get all the 'Power tabs' you can find... several times. ;)
>Rainbow Dash rushed a hoof to her crumpled side. “Zounds, my wing! It is most certainly broken. Oh, the equinity!”
-''Zounds''... zounds ? ...Zounds, indeed !
''I is actingz !'' :3
>“This goblin may be acting all tough with his large wooden hammer, but let’s see how tough he is when it’s on fire!”
-Ahh, I remember this... It was always funny, when you lit their hammer on fire. :)
>“Apparently,” she said, panting heavily, “he’s still pretty tough when it’s on fire.”
-No... no they were not. It was the *GOAL* to set them on fire, to *weaken* them... -_-
>The goblin assaulted the Protect spell with a rain of enflamed hammer blows.
-Why turning the 'funny' thing of setting their weapon on fire to weaken them, into something long and slightly irritating ?
>“You pretended to be injured so that you wouldn’t have to fight? So that those poor, helpless colts would do all the work for you? So that they would be scared half to death?”
>The lights of her eyes narrowed. “I’m disappointed in you. Both of you.”
-''Robot-Fluttershy'' lecturing the other 2 through some ambiguous moral-shenanigans ?
Not good. -_-
>“Uh-uh,” said Pinkie Pie, shaking their head. “They’re just mythological creatures, like the koala.”
-Humans and... koalas ? ... ... ...wait... ...wait... I just thought of something... Don't tell me that humans are gonna be/replace the reptiles of the 65 000 000BC era ? -_-
I'm not sure if this would be a thing of mad genius... or crazy bad, honestly ?
>With an extended index finger, the luminescent centaur beckoned the ponies closer.
-I'm not sure if this was predictable, interesting, or an unpredictable+strange choice ?
>“Fluttershy!” snapped Rainbow Dash. “We need a distraction. Can you buy us a few seconds?”
>Twin lasers blasted into Lyrabon, eliciting screams of rage.
-Well, I think that worked well enough. ;)
Lazers ! They taste like fiery death ! ...now 'baba ghanouj' flavored.
>The Ice Sword technique slid effortlessly from forelock to barrel to ground.
-...''to barrel'', what ? Did I missed a line mentioning a random barrel, or is it part of an expression ?
-----
Well... really not sure about the necessity of the 'moral lecturing tendencies' of 'Robot-Fluttershy', and the change of hammer thing, but overall it was relatively good.
The Rare, Red Rock - CH.22 :
ReplyDelete>until he returns to us.
-Huhhhhhhh... shouldn't he, you know... be dead ?
>Why wait for the future to change when somepony has the power to change it, after all?
-''But... the future refused to change'' : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaSPXr2syLQ&hd=1 ...wait... Too soon.
>“Who cares?” Rainbow Dash tossed her hooves into the air. “Why does it even matter what sword you’re using, or whether you've got some shiny medal? This is so stupid.
-Even from a ''character perspective'', a 'legendary magic' sword IS still a LEGENDARY magic sword ! (once reforged... and ''re-energised'')
Also, the RPG/adventure game player in me is ''screaming'' a little.
>Bon Bon sighed and shook her head.
-...huh, what ? Aren't the 2 guardians supposed to remain IN the sword's part(s), except during rare and unique events ?
>“Bugger me. What else is there in 600 AD? The Sun Stone? A few Skyway stations, perhaps?”
>Rainbow Dash shared a wince with Twilight Sparkle. “Uh, what the hay is he talking about?”
-Future side-quests, it would seem... that are hinted to be in this story, maybe ?
(Also, by ''Skyway stations'', do you mean the ''blue pyramids of light'' ? I never found what was the name of those things... not that I ever searched for it, before now)
>As the Gate closed behind them, the four ponies gasped at the majesty before them.
-Wait ?
>taking note of the incredible distance between their hooves and the ground.
-For a second, I feared the 'dramatically (and humorously) falling from the cliff, and in the middle of a ''dino-dance party''' wasn't gonna be used.
>I can’t believe you would deliberately disobey me like that!”
>A hoof massaged her withers, slipping and sliding over her mud-covered coat. Hot breath ran across her neck. A strong tongue flicked about inside her mouth, wrestling her own tongue.
-The f*** is that now ?! Seriously ? What ?
For 1) It's a bit (quite) bad stuff handling AJ here...
For 2) It's as out-of-nowhere as something like this could ever be...
For 3) AJ randomly ''french-kissing'' with brute force (RD) 'a random pegasus covered in mud' thinking it's a WHOLE other pony is... frankly, it's a bit ''ugly'' (the decision, handling of it, whatever..), for a lack of a better word. Really !
The hells was the idea there ?
>“Shoot, you must think I’m some sorta hussy.”
-Personally, I'm *REALLY* not sure what to think of the ''author'', right now ?
>They were quadrupedal lizards, nearly as big as a pony, covered from nose to tail in dull green scales.
-Ah... yes... dinosaurs... Ok. Good. Hard to be interested, right now, honestly.
>“Head of the Apple Family.”
-Could have said ''Apple Clan'' too. Works even better considering the Era... but, whatever.
-----
It was... ''ok'', until that one moment... I have no word for that, except ''by the gods, what did you thought ?''.
@Nova25
ReplyDelete>''I is actingz !'' :3
Absolutely! She'd avidly deny it if you asked her, but everypony knows that Rainbow Dash is a closet thespian.
>Why turning the 'funny' thing of setting their weapon on fire to weaken them, into something long and slightly irritating ?
Because sometimes, being genre savvy (as Twilight was with her sudden inspiration to burn the mallet) can cause more harm than good. Also relates to next point.
>''Robot-Fluttershy'' lecturing the other 2 through some ambiguous moral-shenanigans ?
"Ambiguous" isn't the word I'd choose... more like "personalized". Just because she's Fluttershy, and just because she's a member of the group, doesn't mean that she doesn't have her own beliefs and opinions. Dash might've been okay with putting the colts in harm's way, arguing that the risk was minimal and the benefit for herself and Sugardia was greater, but Fluttershy disagreed with that rationale. To the earlier point about the trivial hammer fight turning painful (especially for Dash), perhaps that was a bit of karma catching up to her.
>koalas
Dammit, I just realized that there are koala-ish enemies in CT, aren't there? -_- That line originally mentioned armadillos instead, until I realized that those rolly-poly enemies resemble armadillos... There aren't any mongooses in CT, are there? *scratches some notes*
>I'm not sure if this would be a thing of mad genius... or crazy bad, honestly ?
Arguably that could be said of everything I write. :V
>from forelock to barrel to ground.
"Barrel" being the main torso/trunk/body of the pony. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Z3UYD8kXx4o/TvWZtNVfOkI/AAAAAAAAZIc/NuMS96-LejA/s1600/1.jpg I try to avoid going overboard with using body parts like gaskins and secondary coverts, but it's good to reference the basics, at least.
>A 'legendary magic' sword IS still a LEGENDARY magic sword !
Two-fold. First, this is right off the heels of Rainbow learning a little lesson about inner strength during the last boss fight, so that's fresh on her mind. Second, while Rainbow would be the type to care about acquiring the sword/medal as radical status symbols, I don't feel she wouldn't be the type to actually believe that she needs the items to succeed, placing more faith on personal skill instead. That said, Frog is probably correct when she assumes the Lyrabon is necessary to win.
>For a second, I feared the 'dramatically (and humorously) falling from the cliff, and in the middle of a ''dino-dance party''' wasn't gonna be used.
Oh of course. I know you've been fearful of me changing things willy-nilly, but there's no way I'd pass up an opportunity like that one :P
>The f*** is that now ?! Seriously ? What ?
Heh ^^ A few factors. Admittedly, humor (or an attempt thereof), shock value (I got you on that one, at least), shipteasing (folks and their AppleDash...) all played a role, and all of those are subjective, so it's hit or miss. There is, rest assured, an actual plot reason for AJ's mixup, which should be made clearer over the next chapters. And preemptively, yes, I'm aware Kino was male in the game and that I changed that.
>Personally, I'm *REALLY* not sure what to think of the ''author'', right now ?
The quote marks around "author" are duly noted.
>Could have said ''Apple Clan'' too. Works even better considering the Era... but, whatever.
*checks his notes and published stuff* I actually seem to be using "clan" and "family" interchangeably. I can't recall if I had a reason for that. Might just switch them all to "clan" as you said.
Anyway, good to see that you're still around as well.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDelete>shock value (I got you on that one, at least), shipteasing (folks and their AppleDash...)
-Honestly, I don't especially care about ''people's preference(s) in shipping'', in the general sense of it... I have my own preferences, others have theirs, etc-blabla...
But... the MAIN point here, which was SURELY not intentional and probable came too sharply/strongly in that scene...
>Hot breath ran across her neck. A strong tongue flicked about inside her mouth, wrestling her own tongue.
>Her best friend shrieked at the top of her lungs.
>Applejack broke off the kiss and threw a death-glare at Twilight Sparkle. “D’ya mind?
>“Wuh... Bwa... Oeh...” agreed Rainbow Dash.
-For 1) ...this would not be called a ''kiss''...
For 2) ...by legal terms, when it is *imposed*, *forced* on an *unwilling* 'person'... There's a specific word for that, you know. Yeah...
...not a very ''pleasant'' OR ''humoristic'' scene, to say the least, if we think about it for a minute.
...that's the issue.
Yee-haw! Hoedown! - CH.24 :
ReplyDelete>“This here’s Rainbow Dash. She’s one heckuva tough mare
-''I also recently almost rap-- I mean ''kissed very roughly against her consent'', by unnecessary ''accident''.'' -_-
... I wonder, if they will encounter a ''Nu'' ? ...
>“They attack us, all right, but not to kill.”
>“Nah. If they had their way, it’d be a fate worse ‘n death.”
-After the thing with ''AJ'', in the previous chapter, now *this*... the author is successful in making things, intentionally or not, highly uncomfortable.
>Fluttershy’s circuits raced to catch up with Twilight Sparkle’s subtext, to say nothing of her new accent.
-Hopefully, she's not using Youtube/Google's beta translator-thingy.
>a series of gentle bobs left to right, hoof to hoof, colloquially known as the “white mare shuffle”.
-''white'' mare shuffle ? Huh ? Why white ? Is it a real dance 'ponified' ? Or, a joke about something ?
>“Ray-bow. I dun wanna kishu.”
>“Still straight. So are you, last time I checked.”
-Why am I in the impression that the author is trying to make a point here ?
Probably just my imagination...
>A quiet lull overtook the campsite, punctuated only by the chirp of a cricket or somepony saying “Goo.”
-Slightly amusing I suppose.
Would have been strange, if she had said ''Gak''. ;)
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>Vancouver, Canada—Studio B
>As she stepped out onto the stage, a young, blonde human came into view
-What the f*** ?
>“Please, always drink responsibly. Know your limits. Understand the signs of addiction.
-I don't want to be disrespectful here... really... for real -_- ... but, this has no place here. It's not a PSA comic/story.
It's just weird, and it disrupts your own story, for no added value... completely the opposite of 'adding value', in fact. It's simply a kick in between the legs of whatever credibility this story previously had.
Think, damnit ! ...sigh.
>“You cussed?! Twilight ‘Totally Strict’ Sparkle shot her mouth off?” She snickered.
-Respect for the author ? What's that ? Not sure, if I have some left anymore. I saw most of it *vanish* in thin air, a moment ago, and now there's not much left anyway...
-----
...
...
...I don't know anymore. Really. Why the stupid PSA insertion... why the need for ''shits and swearing like it's a 'thing'?''... why other similar things here and there, so often...
What in hells is the author doing to this story..?
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteOkay. The story hasn't lived up to your expectations, and you don't have much respect for me. It is fully within your right to have that opinion. If we're being completely honest, it's the opinion you've held over every chapter of this story, which is still okay. And you've been courteous enough to provide specific reasons for your disapproval, such that even if we didn't see eye-to-eye, we could at least hold a civil discussion on the matter.
But at this point I need to stop you. I didn't respond to the previous comment because I literally had no idea what to say, but since you insist on bringing it up again, I have no choice but to speak up.
The scene in Chapter 22 consisted of a kiss, and only a kiss, which lasted for no more than a second or two. The event was founded on a case of mistaken identity. Upon discovering her mix-up, the instigating party was extremely embarrassed and apologetic. The receiving party was stunned and a bit embarrassed, but accepted the apology and moved on before the chapter was over.
Rape is one of the most heinous and deplorable crimes in existence. Victims can face significant physical damage and unfathomable emotional damage. It is a life-shattering tragedy that can haunt its victims for the rest of their lives. It should not be made light of.
The fact that you repeatedly and flippantly draw connection between these two is deeply offensive, if not to me, then to real-life victims. If you remain unconvinced, then perhaps you should take Chapter 22 to a victim and explain to them how Rainbow Dash's situation is just as bad as theirs.
I really can't stress the importance of this point enough. I'm not going to humor discussion about whether or not I should have made a Gak joke, when this is the offensive new direction that your "review" is headed.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't as much being ''offensive'' as it rather was about 'personally reacting' about how *uncomfortable* this particular scene had been 'phrased', and the (even if brief) reaction between the characters of AJ/RD/Twilight, I *must* say.
It's just that.
A lingering, uncomfortable, ''ambience''... and no one (else) apparently cared about 'it'.
Of course, with just me here, it looks way more grave than it should ''look''.
And, with 'that' and other small stuff put on top of the pile, AND now the PSA-nonsense added above all those things...
Suddenly, hills really look like mountains, all of a sudden.
...
...honestly, I think I'm not having a very good run, with one too many bad/horrid story amongst the many (good and bad) I read, recently. Can't add anything more on top of the garbage can, yet ''crumbs'' continue to pile, more and more and more...
How to say... it's getting harder and harder to be able to enjoy stories as a *whole*, which is a bit depressing for someone who read so much.