Author: Municipal Engines, Assisted By LordOfTheWrongs
Description: For almost a thousand years, the immortal Nightmare Moon has reigned over Equestria as Empress. To the average pony, Nightmare Moon is an overarching enigma whose rule is absolute and whose wrath is terrible. But to Twilight Sparkle, who as an orphan has never known her parents, the Empress is something else entirely. When the young unicorn is brought under the royal wing as an apprentice, she learns a great deal more about the supposed tyrant than she ever knew. But as Twilight is introduced to life with her new mentor, she is thrust into a world of political intrigue, conspiracies and secrets. Secrets that were never meant to be revealed. As allies and enemies plot against the very peace of the nation, will Twilight fall prey to the perils of her new position? Or will she prosper and find in Nightmare Moon the mother she never had?Night's Favored Child (New Part 13!)
Additional Tags: Long, Family, Relationship, Conspiracies, Betrayal
286 comments:
@Specter Von Baren
ReplyDeleteYes... yes he should. And yet, no. :)
On an unrelated issue, the noble families that Blueblood mentions are a rather European joke. I got the Hohenzollern reference after a Google search, but I'm not sure what Gildhorn is a pun on.
@Specter Von Baren
ReplyDeleteNot at all. This is Duke Blueblood the NINTH. The jerk at the gala is his son, Blueblood the Tenth.
Or at any rate I assume so. There's been nine Bluebloods so far, no reason to think they'd stop with the name now... and while this guy is a bit old, his son would be just about the right age.
I love this story gives a much softer version of nightmare moon and its quite interesting to see a parallel version of events if nmm had won way back when wondering if twi will still meet the rest and if they will be the same or be different under nmm's rule
ReplyDeleteAlso I agree with the thought that nmm would look into the rainboom and quite possibly recruit RD into the shadowbolts who are quite possibly an assassination squad under her in addition to just performing at shows
ReplyDeleteFirst fic on EqD that I've actually taken the time to read, granted I'm a bit new to the brony crowd. Loving this thus far, and I can't wait to find out how this turns out. I honestly wasn't expecting to be rooting for NmM, much less having her as a likeable character. Overall: Well deserving of the 6-star rating it has, and great concept of the alternate Equestria.
ReplyDeletewhen is the next chapter gonna come out already... its been forever
ReplyDeleteWhen the workload slows and my writer's block fades.
ReplyDeleteETA: 1-2 weeks, give or take.
@Municipal Engines Well, not meaning to rush you, but know that you have people eagerly waiting for an update. Excellent take on an alternate Equestria by the way.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more of this one! I like the characterization of life under NMM. Even if one assumes she was a true monster when she began her rule, further time and experience surely would mellow her. Nobody can stay that angry forever. Plus, it's not much fun to rule over an empty wasteland.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, I can't help thinking of Nyx in some ways.
oh i hope this hasn't died again :(
ReplyDeletedamn me and my occasional habit of reeding incomplete stories :(
Another fic died, and it's such good fic, and I would love to see it finished. I've read 5 chapters and regretting it now :(
ReplyDeletepity
Guys, Muni said "1-2 weeks, give or take" less than two weeks ago. Chill.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, real life has to take precedent over this story right now. I've lost my creative muse and my spare time whilst I have half a dozen essays and many pages of notes to do.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't get me started on the practice exams.
But never fear, I can promise you that it will be updated by Christmas holiday.
Hopefully.
Well at least the author cares about his fans and is at least taking his time to respond to us. Thanks again for the constant reassurances for a soon to be update.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that I've recently burst through my writer's block and the first draft of the latest chapter is over half-way done.
ReplyDeleteYaaaay, new chapter soon :)
ReplyDeleteChapter 5! You made my night!
ReplyDeleteTypo: 'Sometimes she felt less like more like a school mistress with a class of rowdy foals than Empress of the known world.'
ReplyDelete@Anonymous they were her adoptive parrents
ReplyDelete@Jonathan
ReplyDeleteMmm, no... the ponies in Cutie Mark Chronicles are Twilight's parents. The same parents who, in the prologue, were captured and executed as traitors when Twilight was a newborn.
I'm just wondering were this will go, great read and good job.
ReplyDeleteI can't say how happy it made me to see a new chapter. This is rapidly growing to be one of the most well written stories so far. I wait on baited breath for more.
ReplyDeleteKeep Being Awesome,
~EmeraldPage
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy favorite story updated
ReplyDeleteYAY!!!!!!! Adorable Filly Twilight is Adorable! 8D
ReplyDeleteREALLY can't wait for chapter 6! *Tries to hold in excitement*
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
When you mentioned the amontillado, I imagined the inquisitor bricking up some poor pony in his cellar while the pony shouts MONTRESORS! MONTRESORS!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd lol at the reference to Gordon Ramsay.
I love all the little references pointing here and there. Chef Ram Sea, nobles playing the Game of Thrones (you win or you die?) and the Cult of the God-Empress. The bit with Twilight's name was also very clever.
ReplyDeleteThis stort reminds me of A Song of Ice and Fire in other ways as well. It reads sort f like the Stark kids' chapters before everything went to hell in a handbasket. I'm tempted to like the Inquisitor, as he seems like he could be a Littlefinger. Speaking of the Inquisitor, I wonder if it's a hereditary title and NMM just missed the handovers, or if he's been around personaly for at least 300 years?
@Sessalisk
ReplyDelete"For the love of Celestia, Mountressor!"
...yeah, I could see him doing that.
@Toiski
I don't want to mention how long it took me to catch on that Ram Sea was a reference to Gordon Ramsay.
What "bit with Twilight's name" are you referring to?
I agree that this reminds me a little bit of Game of Thrones, if G.R.R. Martin wasn't busy abusing the reader. I didn't enjoy those books.
All my stars
ReplyDeleteHumiliated Blueblood is BEST Blueblood
So, shouldn't twilight sparkle get her cutie Mark anytime soon? because As far as I understood, she hasn't it yet, rihght?
ReplyDelete@Blackmamuth
ReplyDeleteNo, she has it.
Chapter 5 was fantastic. It was a long wait, but we got a long chapter. Totally worth it! :)
ReplyDeleteI love the little hints you keep giving us that NMM feels regret for the past. It's interesting, though, that this is presented as a story where "what's done is done"... No magic return for Celestia, I presume, at the end of the tale. It makes me wonder how and/or if the story will ever be given a happy ending. But it seems like things are trending that way, even if major trouble may be soon on the horizon!
I loved seeing Twi get used to palace life. And I think it's great that she and NMM have so much in common (the telescope, the willow grove). It really lays the foundation for good things to come. I can't wait to see the story develop! :D
Still loving this fic. Miss Sparkle's successful raid on the kitchen made me d'aww, and seeing Blueblood get what's coming to him was satisfying.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see more interaction between Twi and NMM next chapter, and am anxious to see what shape their relationship will take.
Weeeeerd. But I likes it.
ReplyDeleteFantastic. =D Also, lol at Twilight throwing up in the end. Love this fic :P
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteGreat! moar pleases!
This story just keep getting better and better with each chapter.
ReplyDeleteI just chuckled at the idea of Nightmare Moon saying "Whoops. Sorry".
A good progress update! Very good details of Twilight learning from the Empress.
ReplyDeleteThe Inquisitor is playing his own games it seems on the side... curious what he is up to. Maybe planning some kind of coup de tat? At any rate, he is up to something and I am curious as to what his story is.
Also, curious when the time jump is going to happen. Pretty sure this story is going to transition to "Through a Mirror Darkly" version of the first two episodes with Twilight the faithful student of Nightmare Moon trying to stop Princess Celestia.
Something I didn't think of before is that there is an enormous difference between NMM's reign and Celestia's in the fact that NMM does not show the Sun except during the Eclipse and even then the ponies don't see it as opposed to Celestia's continuing to raise both Sun and Moon. I'm just curious as to how this distinction will develop. Will it prevent Celestia's possible return in that she can't raise the Sun without risking blinding or burning half of Equestria? Something else? I can't wait to read and find out!
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to see how, after a thousand years, NMM has mellowed to the point where she's not much more than Celestia with some serious skeletons in her closet. And a mess of conspiracies in her government.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if she knows her prime minister just started a war.
I gotta ask, did you come up with the ponified word for Gallifrey yourself, or are you als a fan of Knights of Equestria?
ReplyDeletechef Ram Sea... Really?
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I had that feeling when we were introduced to the High King, sorry for being so vague, don't want to give spoilers
loved chapter 6. i hope we see the next chaper in the new year:)
ReplyDeleteOh boy this is indeed one epic fanfic that I would say for sure. But it is going too slow, two large chapters added and still not a hint about Celestia's return, Grown up Twilight finding her true friends in Ponyville preventing Celestas return. Sigh... Twilight supposed to be a adorkable little filly who is more interested in studying than getting friends. AND WHERE IN HAY IS SPIKE? Orion should be Spike. >:(
ReplyDelete@Dashie
ReplyDeleteDashie, you should probably reread the fic synopsis at the top of the page. I think you may be expecting a focus on the wrong themes.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNever fear, Smoigus. I have the first half of Ch. 7 in my hot little hooves as we speak.
ReplyDeleteNot that I'm likely to get it edited today... (grumble grumble)
I'm rubbish at literary criticism, but I scarfed down the first six chapters this afternoon, and I am wildly enthusiastic about them. You do a good job of mixing existing characters into your universe, and making Nightmare Moon a more multidimensional villain -- make that "character" -- than we got in the show. I'm really looking forward to seeing what comes of the Inquisitor's dastardly schemes. And hopefully learning more about how this universe came to be.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of the Inquisitor being a shifty rascal, the last two paragraphs at the end of page seven, chapter six ("The stallion stood up...") have significant overlap. I assume one of them is a revision of the other, and the old version just escaped deletion.
Oh, just rereading those paragraphs fills me with helpless fuming hatred for the Inquisitor. Good job, I guess. Gah. What a jerk.
Anyhow! I like this story a lot. Please keep it up!
Just finished Chapter 6, and all I can say is that I want more. I love the story idea, and the writing itself is excellent. Keep up the good work, and update soon!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@LordOfTheWrongsWoohoo, cant wait for the next update. I am really enjoying this story.
ReplyDeleteWhy no update?
ReplyDelete@Set
ReplyDeleteSorry for the lack of updates. My life's been a personal hell for a while and my muse has died as a result. Work is piling up that I need to deal with.
I can't make any promises on the next chapter's arrival, but after this hump, it should be easier for me to write.
Take your time man. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite fanfic by far, the chapters take a while to come out but they are totally worth it.
ReplyDeletedead story :(
ReplyDeletewhy do all the good ones die
@Chris Coreline
ReplyDeleteIf this is dead, what the hell have I been editing?
Don't worry. Sorry for the many weeks of wait, but you can take refuge in the fact that this is looking to be around 14,000 words.
ReplyDeleteOhhh I want to read it so bad, don't worry take your time this is worth waiting for.
ReplyDeleteI shall wait.
ReplyDeletePatiently.
In the corner.
In the dark.
Just waiting...waiting and waiting...
Quick update for everypony: I now have chapter 7 in hand for editing. It's 17,000 words. O_O We're hoping to have it polished and posted by week's end.
ReplyDeleteWhen is this going to have another update?
ReplyDelete@CloseEnough
ReplyDeleteSoon, very soon. Expect around 20,000 words for the chapter; more than enough to make up for the massive delay, I hope!
Awesome, looking forward too it. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd here it is!
ReplyDeleteOh my god! That was probably the best chapter to date. I don't know how you do it, but one of your chapters has elicited more emotional response and investment from me than most of the other complete fanfics I've read. Kudos sir. I am always looking forward to the next update, even if it takes another month or two ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, that was a really long time between chapters... but this chapter was like, 3 chapters in one, both in length and in individual events. I LOVE amazingly long chapters.
ReplyDeleteI am absurdly curious about -... I forgot his name already. :\ The not-dragon in that cave. I want to call him Malon, but he is neither a girl or a farmer, nor did he teach Twilight any ocarina songs. Right, anyways, I'm absurdly curious about that not-dragon's payment, moreso even than what those golden apples do. Which isn't to say I'm not curious about those too! Pretty much that whole part was just great, the most memorable section of this chapter.
And I have to admit, I was kind of expecting Orion's parents to have been rebels of the sun-loving faced variety. I'm a bit wary of accepting his word on the matter, but he didn't seem like he was making it up, not on the spot at least. It kind'a seemed like he was reciting a pre-prepared lie, given the lack of emotion during it's delivery, but that emotion afterwords had to come from somewhere. Whether or not his story was true, I do believe his parents are dead. Of course, I could just be tremendously over-thinking it, but a lot about him just makes me suspicious. The education(?) he's receiving from Miss Loch (I think that's her name... I'm terrible with names), that Orion refused to elaborate on. How little he's told Twilight about his life at the orphanage. How attentive he was to the palace. Wanting to go on an adventure - I think he'd definitely sign up for some rebel'ing. His little adventure with Twilight was probably a result of him just wanting to -do- something, I imagine Miss Loch(?) probably warned him against doing anything extreme like that. I'm gonna' stop now, beause it occurs to me that I'm kind'a sounding like a conspiracy theorist. ... But this world you're crafting is ripe for conspiracies, isn't it? Probably not such a bad thing to be a conspiracy theorist here. Huh. Moving on anyways.
You're mentioning all these other alicorns, I'm getting a bit worried that there's going to be alicorn OCs involved in the story at some point. Talking about them in history and even flashback sequences wouldn't be terrible, but I'm hoping it's just Luna and Celestia directly involved in the plot. Unless potential OC alicorns are written very well, which I guess it would be kind'a silly to wonder about your quality of writing at this point, but still. I just instinctively cringe at alicorn OCs, I doubt I have to explain why.
With all of this back story you're giving, it looks like you're wanting to write an epic. I hope you don't take insult if I say that I hope the writing speed picks up a bit if that's the case. An FO:E-like epic would take years to write at this pace. I don't know if I would survive. D:
@Cedric Bale
ReplyDeleteThe serpent's name was Ladon. :)
Regarding Orion, remember that he was still pretty young when his parents died. Like, younger than the filly flashbacks in Cutie Mark Chronicles. He wouldn't necessarily be party to any political movements his parents might have been involved in.
The trick with conspiracy theories is picking out the right conspiracy to theorize about. :)
Regarding alicorn OCs, you might recall that Nightmare Moon is worshipped as "She Who Stayed" by the Cult Imperia. Other alicorns did exist in the past, but that's literally ancient history.
For now, anyway. *shakefist at Cadence*
Here's the FIMFiction link if anyone's interested:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/5523/Night%27s-Favoured-Child
It's a lot easy to keep track of updates if you go onto that and it's easier for me to make quick changes if I have to anyways.
@Municipal Engines Dont want to miss a single update :DD
ReplyDeleteI was reading this via Google docs, and found a small error regarding the links. At the end of Chapter 5, it says "Chapter 7" link, rather than chapter 6.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, great story! I can't wait for more updates!
0_o That was my reaction when the Inquisitor referred to The Empress as "Luna". The exact thought process went along the lines of, "he must sure hate th-WAT DID HE JUST THINK?HoW DoEs he KNow HER as Luna!!?!?
ReplyDeleteUnless I missed something in one of the previous chapters there should be no way he knows the Empress of the Night, Nightmare Moon as Luna, unless she told him or if he has secrets untold(I'm betting on the last on). Also I like Ladon and the tie in to real mythology.
Also Filly Twi PWNED Blueblood the Tenth.
ReplyDeleteThat was excellent, it takes a lot to make me tear up, but the end of ch7 was perfectly written. Bravo indeed.
ReplyDelete@Municipal Engines
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the desciption of the items, I have to ask... Are you a Dwarf Fortress player? :)
Oh my god, Chapter 7 is AMAZING! Why didn't anyone tell me this story updated?
ReplyDelete@Xaos
ReplyDeleteIf you want, you can look it up on FIMFiction, where you can track it. Usually, the updates on that site would come out before those on EQD.
And no, Valik, I've never played Dwarf Fortress? How do the items remind you of the game?
@Valik
ReplyDeleteI've never played it either, but I know nothing in the Crown Jewels menaced with spikes of Fish...
Awesome new update! This story just keeps getting better and better! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI have played Dwarf Fortress! But that scene with all the items didn't remind of it. I could see how it might, though, in an obscure sort of way.
ReplyDeleteI don't have time for any sort of substantial review at the moment, but I just want to take a moment to say how much I've been enjoying this story. I just found it the other day, and it has been utterly engrossing. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete1 month and 10 days have passed since the last chapter.... *starts suffering from withdrawal* To This is the only pony related thing I still check, can't wait till the next update.
ReplyDelete........
ReplyDeleteHello? Anyone here? Anyone?
Oops, my bad, Fimfiction. *Slaps self*
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know who the artist of the nightmare moon art?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@ashez
ReplyDeleteArt's by Makkon.
http://makkon.deviantart.com/gallery/?catpath=/&offset=48#/d3evmoh