• Story: Out of the Blue (Update Part 9!)

    [Shipping][Normal] According to the shipping chart, this has NEVER been done before.  How the hell have we not had an Applepie? This is sort of a sequel to Epiphany, though the former isn't required for it.

    Author: NinesTempest
    Description: The arrival of a traveling magician seems to be marked by some strange occurrences in Ponyville. As these events start to strain the friendships of each pony that holds an Element of Harmony, two ponies start to come closer and closer together.

    Out of the Blue (New Part 9!)

    Additional Tags: Desperate, Lying, Emotional, Manipulation, Magic


    1. So far, this is fantastic.

    2. We've probably never had Applepie 'cuz it's a hard ship to really see working. Applejack is a bit too sensible and no-nonsense (ignoring the "silly pony" meme) to really be able to tolerate Pinkie romantically.

    3. @Anonymous
      I agree with this wholeheartedly, then again I think Pinkie Pie is hard to ship with anyone. She's so nonsensical and un-serious about almost anything, that I doubt that she would even last in a serious committed relationship for long.

    4. @Fanloser

      Well, I dunno if I'd go that far. I don't see Pinke with Applejack, but at the same time I don't see her destined to be alone forever, either. She doesn't deserve that, for one, just 'cuz she's a bit of an oddball.

      There are some who actually prefer eccentric personalities; and Pinkie is certainly that. She's also adorkable, which is hard to resist.


      Friggin' suspense. :/

    6. Part 1:

      Not bad, good... wait? There, that reference to that story with the awful ending, with RD and Fluttershy going Yes-No-Yes-No nonsense, then Fluttershy going ''No. Don't love you RD'' out of nowhere, for no good reasons...

      ...suddenly I feel MUCH less generous... a lot less...

      ...Let's read Part 2, who knows, there's a tiny chance to redeem it self...

    7. Part 2:

      It's ok... it's well made, yes.

      We can see the tension rising and all. Some tiny hints about RD and Fluttershy, not sure if it's toward something good or not, maybe I'm just seeing things...

      ...Still hoping to see something to make me forget about that other 'story' though.

    8. @Anonymous
      I don't see Pinkie Pie being alone forever either, I just see that CURRENTLY she seems like the type to get bored with serious relationships. But eventually she'll find someone to be with forever.

    9. Not catching hell for using minor homophobia as a plot point?

      Holy shit I love this community more than I thought I did previously.

      The references will start to die down as soon as the magician is introduced, so don't worry a whole lot about that. This story isn't about Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy anymore, even if the former is still important in some aspects.

    10. Really? We've never had ApplePie? I mentioned it to another brony who never reads shipping fanfics to show shortening of names.

      Actually, we have had it, just not as a main focus, they were a side relationship in http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/03/story-sewing-red-thread-of-fate.html

      That shipping chart only focuses on the main relationship, it seems to ignore the background ones, cos it should be a lot more crowded.

    11. @chinlampThis is true, I even make a somewhat mock anger comment in this story; I cannot claim first ApplePie ship.

      oh well. It seems BSS also has plans for this ship, so we'll see something else soon enough.

      Now we just need Rainbow Dash and Rarity...

    12. @Fanloser


      Yes, I believe Pinkie does understand the concept of FOREVERRR rather well. XD

    13. @9Nine9
      It's not that I don't want to hear about RD and Fluttershy, in the contrary.

      It's the disappointing ending of the ''other story'' that I wish to forget... or see something in this one that will make up for it.

      But... I guess you don't intend to go for ''that'' with those 2... Am I right?

    14. Traveling magician wants everyone together at a party and paid someone to do it
      Obviously the magician is the one who wants the elements and the party can be used to separate the friends and take the elements one by one
      Applejack is not scared of what Rainbow Dash feels, she is scared of what she feels but can't currently understand
      Magician used that fear and turned it against Rainbow Dash and not Applejack
      Applejack will realize she loves Pinkie during the party
      Fluttershy will eventually realize she loves RD
      Possible TS Rarity ship in there, too. If the pattern continues
      Love will strengthen friendship, magician will be defeated

      These are my thoughts and predictions. Make of it what you will.

    15. @DrahcirAloer
      They all seem like good theories.

      I'm not sure for Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, just haven't thought of it, but I too hope thing will go like that for the other 4... especially for RD... and also Pinky Pie because she's Pinky :)

    16. @nova_25
      So you just want to forget how Epiphany ended? Fat chance!

      My oh my, an analyzer.

      I will say that a minority of things in this are correct, but no way I'm saying which, obviously.

    17. This story is brilliant. I REQUIRE MOAR!! Very excited for the next part.

    18. @9Nine9
      Like I said it is my thoughts. I just found it weird that a traveling magician, who probably makes their living off of traveling shows, would pay to get a group of ponies to perform for. Also I think in the library more of the magic that is trying to steal the elements is working, because Dash turned on Applejack pretty quick, like what happened with Fluttershy in Epiphany. Also I hope a happy ending is in store for RD and Fluttershy, and Applejack and Pinkie Pie, but I guess I will just have to see it as it unfolds. Lastly I am standing adamantly by what I said about Applejack being afraid. That just seems to fit in my mind.

    19. @9Nine9Actually, I think that's been done too. Though for the life of me I can't remember where.

    20. @chinlampThat is humorous to me as well.

      Well I can't say that my characterizations of the ponies beyond the show are exactly original (Rainbow Dash from Epiphany is straight out of an anime, cookies to those that can identify it), so I'm glad you can make so many guesses.

      And thanks to everyone for posting, haha. I had this up on dA for a while with little critique, but hearing that it's good makes me less nervous about writing more, lol.

    21. This comment has been removed by the author.

    22. @9Nine9
      Glad to see ''polite'' people... or polite authors... yeah...

      Also, I don't say that I want to forget ''The Story''... I only wish for a satisfying ending... a real conclusion. Something to give a sense of closure, I guess.

    23. @nova_25
      Oh, yes, that is definitely happening in this story.

      Actually some arcs from Epiphany close this story. (can fanfictions have story arcs? oh well)

    24. Way too redundant in the wording. It's just as awful as Epiphany. Sorry bronies, but 2/10.

    25. Well, I think this is amazing - robust wording, extensive vocabulary and used well, with vast descriptions of the background and the thoughts'n'feelings of our ponies. Also a lot of tension here and great dose of some more serious emotional trumoils than in traditional Shipfics. Like it a lot, waiting for more, 5 stars here.

    26. The only thing I would comment negatively is that there seems to be a lot of exposition at the beginning that might be better served by some character interaction. For example, instead of telling us how Big Mac took over the farm for a few days to give AJ some time off, why don't we watch that scene play out? Or else cut it short and just give the exposition briefly without the explanation of all the reasons behind what's going on; I just thought that section went on quite a bit longer than it needed to be with no real payoff to it.

      As a secondary comment, you said this story didn't depend on having read Epiphany. I have to strongly disagree there. I didn't read Epiphany, and I really have no idea what the heck is going on. There are a lot of oblique references to the events of the previous story. But even beyond that, the main plot line seems to have to do with some shadowy force that's influencing the ponies' behavior, which I assume was some plot element from Epiphany, and I'm just lost.

      I would suggest either making this a very clear sequel with no equivocation on the subject, or else make a greater effort to briefly explain the plot points of the previous story as they become relevant to this one. (One method for doing this is having one character ask, "You remember what I told you about thus-and-such?" And the other says, "Yeah, you said..." and then gives a quick recap for the benefit of the audience.)

    27. I have to agree with Anon up there. I love ya, but this is freaking impenetrable. It just doesn't flow at all. Some specific points: First, why on earth do you think we care how big the cellar is, how many trees AJ bucked, how much they yielded, or why they were fruiting just now? Why should we care which road goes to Philly? Is this a plot point? No. Details do not exist for their own sake. This isn't immersion, it's an agricultural report and a tour of AJ's house. Second, there's a bunch of pointless action at the start that doesn't forward the story at all. This is lost momentum. The story should start with a cool shower after a long day of work, and it'd be nice if we were privy to AJ's reactions to her private thoughts. What is her reaction to remembering the party? Why doesn't she know what to think? What is her inner conflict? (You know, conflict? That thing that makes it a story and not a vignette?) Third, decide who you're writing for. You recount the events of your prequel as if the reader might not have read it, but you're so vague about it you might as well have not bothered. You have a good core here, but it's not much fun to read.

    28. @Escher
      I suppose that is true to an extent, but I haven't made MANY references and if they are made, they're talked about. The main plotline has very little to do with Epiphany (which didn't have a lot of plot anyway).

      I did have those explanations?

      You don't want to see the first draft of chapter 1. It had far more random-ass description about what kind of apples were used for what even. I have no idea why those were good ideas so I removed them. The road splitting? It's setting the scene; we have no evidence of such a road split in the show so I wrote it in. It is NO excuse for some of the verbosity I suppose, but it's still been cut down from what it was previously.

      This is very true, and is an issue that's been hurting writing part three a lot actually. I probably should have thought through more of this better so it's not an excuse, but I initially planned to keep their disagreement (RD/AJ's) going longer, but upon receiving some instructive thought from a fellow brony, that idea was kind of thrown out the window. So I decided to try and end that curve as quickly as possible. The pacing has been destroyed since then I think.

      There isn't a lot of real conflict yet, at least not one that AJ couldn't explain. Once she realized that outside-forces made her accuse RD, I don't feel like she'd be more torn up about it than she currently is. The conflict is supposed to be the magician and the complications are each iteration of her magical powers coming into play or other things that obviously haven't happened yet. It's... an amount of conflict to go on, but I suppose it isn't a lot. Oh well. As for recounting, it didn't need to be more direct. I say it because I think that's what they would say to each other given the situation. That much I believe I'm adamant about. If you're refering to how AJ knows Dash is a lesbian, that isn't being mentioned more because it's pointless for Aj to think about it and it's just how AJ knows something about RD. Even briefly, in my opinion, wouldn't be valid.

      I know this is dangerously close to having the characters write themselves out longer than the plot, but I suppose that IS happening. Most of the issues are coming from a retarded mistake on my part with outlining this and not realizing how Fluttershy would deal with their initial argument. So I've been recovering from that. Not much of an excuse, but it's the reason. Thanks for critique guys.

    29. Well I like it.

    30. @9Nine9

      I'm actually a fan of the level of detail you've put into descriptions thus far. Although, I wish you would focus more on characters reactions than physical appearances.
      Keep it up; I can hardly wait for part four.

    31. @Floofy Hoof
      Well it was some of my intention to have more description, as it is always sparse in my writing.

      Small update since i'm sure few here follow me on dA; I'm going on a trip to see some friends this week so I won't have an update this week. Oh well.

    32. I don't think anyone checks the comments here but I'll say this anyway (and direct people here when they read the document):

      -1- I've made some changes to parts 1 through 3. After re-reading the story I agree with many complaints that the previous mentions of Epiphany are a little too heavy and too vague. I also think they don't make a lot of sense because to AJ, the world should be back to normal, the only change being what happened to a certain unicorn in Epiphany. Therefore I'll make some changes to these parts (they'll be marked by a "-1-" in the googledocuments links and the deviantart pages).

      I think this will help the story flow a little better and make AJ a bit more in character.

    33. this story seems to be dieing out
      wud up wit dat?

    34. @Facelessguru
      I've been working on another story. My plan is still going to happen though, so hopefully you'll still have fun reading it when I get back to it...

    35. I doubt anyone will read this before they read but

      I basically made large edits to most of 1-3, so that they are much more readable to peopel who have not read epiphany (because I was a lot worse of a writer when I wrote these).

      Hopefully they're better (yes, there are marks of where changes are if you have read them already or something).


    37. Watch out Rarity and Twilight! You're friends are pairing up fast! It's only a matter or time before you discover you have feelings for each other.

    38. I am sucked in. Can't wait for the next part! tho I'm assuming there's a backstory somewhere on what happened with Dash and Fluttershy and (apparently) Trixie (Sorry for the spoiler, but it's not gone into with detail) that I missed. Care to elaborate? Link perhaps, if it's written?

    39. @Timber
      ... erm, it is in the post at the top, lol.

    40. Why is Applejack wearing clothes in part 2?

    41. Her hat and hairbands.

      No reason to mention everything by name.

    42. Ok...so I never read Epiphany before, and just read that and this now.
      For some reason I found it all a very....ah....difficult read. Some things just don't flow....it seems very, for lack of a better word, schizophrenic. The added descriptions people are talking about (scenery porn?) probably contribute to this, but I think the whole thing just feels a bit overly melodramatic.
      That said, I am curious about what's all going to happen and will continue reading as it's posted.

    43. ... I'm not sure how schizophrenic describes writing. You mean it's kind of all over the place? And by scenery porn do you mean me describing everything even though we've seen everything?

    44. Whatever edits you have made, they have apparently worked for me. I remember being distinctly impressed in the first chapter. Where you describe Applejack having a low opinion of the book she is reading and of reading in general, I actually had a moment where I said, with mild irritation: "Applejack would say that." And I realized it: You conveyed an attitude to which you yourself don't ascribe (presumably, being a writer) realistically. You made a character think a wrong decision that was wrong because the character decided it as so. That's good stuff, bud. Keep going, I definitely want to see the moment where the Apple to Pinkie relationship sparks.

    45. @BeeAre
      I'm... having trouble understanding this.

      So I'm able to realistically portray opinions or characteristics that are clearly wrong, and vastly outside of my own personal beliefs?

      I realize how snide that sounds, but I'm honestly confused.

    46. no, no, it isn't snide, you're right on the money.

      Portraying a belief you don't believe with respect to the person, with respect to the thoughts that go into that belief--It's hard to do, but when done properly it is a thrill to read.

      It means you can empathize. I hope you don't give up writing this. You've got a fan! :O

    47. @BeeAre
      Oh dont' worry, just been busy this week with exams (summer classes and all), i'll be writing much more this week.

    48. read all of Epiphany and and this. both are great fanfics.

      Desperatly waiting for the next chapter :O!!!!

    49. @Tedflip
      It'll probably come out in the next 7 days, but don't be TOO hopeful...

    50. I can't ship this for the sole reason that I vaguely remember Applejack having a relative named Apple Pie.

    51. heh heh, its fine I can wait 7 days. I've waited months for fanfic updates before XD!

      But I must add, chapter 1&2 have fantastic storyline plots. The suspense was murder even before I got to the other chapters.

      Just keep up the flow of talent you've got in writing there :D!

    52. Erm... Part 3 of the dA links goes to Google Docs?

    53. This comment has been removed by the author.

    54. I thought this fic was dead... lol.

      this is TedFlip btw.

    55. Hmmm, Flutterdash, Applepie . . . does this mean there's gonna be a third with TwilightxRarity?

    56. Been waiting on this one a while. Hella psyched to read it.

    57. my initial reaction to the update: OMG IT FINALLY UPDATED

      5 seconds later: I cant believe it took so long that i cant remember anything about it

      (starts re-reading from ch1)

    58. pretty good story. the pinkie pie vision made me sad though. i hope it really isnt what it seems.

    59. I'm so glad it wasn't Trixie, thank celestia. Any OC is better than that bitch...

    60. Part 5: (It has been 2 months ? ...I still have to vague memories of it.)

      >Something I got in the mail a week ago.
      >A light flickered from it, and Applejack fell against the covers of the bed with a peaceful snore.
      -What's the word/expression... ''MacGuffin'' out of nowhere ?

      >“Yet, Applejack, what else can they be?”
      -About a dozen other things, really. More than half of them are inside the ''altered''-something folder.

      >without it, scientists estimate that a pony may only live for close to 20-30 years.
      -*raise an eyebrow* ...mmh...
      >regular Unicorn or Pegasus pony is almost 80 years of age, regardless of gender, and 70 for that of the regular Earth Pony.
      -*lower eyebrow... slightly* ...regular and average, right...

      >why would it show me visions of things a hundred years in the future?
      >If I don’t think we’ll live that long, why would it show us that?”
      -It's called FORGERY... of memories, in this case. It's not THAT hard to think of this possibility.

      >“It could mean… we live for a really long time.”
      -It's... interesting.
      That is, if not everypony start to go all 'boohoo-sad depressed' because they are gonna live longer than others (that would be bad, and possibly mildly annoying)...

      >and tells us really nonchalantly that one of her sisters had been in an accident and died.”
      -*Boot to the Head*, maybe ?

      >Ah just gotta keep playin’ counselor and everythin’ will turn out fine.
      -Maybe she should have asked for the 'amulet' ? The thing making Pinky Pie all depressed and sad and dark... wait a second ?
      *Tap on the screen* : [Shipping][Normal]
      ...and normal ?

      >Livin’ and continuin’ on with everypony you know… dyin’, except for all six of us. Ah can’t imagine that.
      >ah just hope it isn’t true.
      -...let me just go back for a second and take my previous *Boot to the Head*... I think I might need it more, pretty soon.

      >“Ah… know this is a bad time to ask, but you’re sure she doesn’t love you?”
      -YES! But there's apparently 1 person in this room who isn't entirely aware of that fact ?

    61. @Nova25
      Dues Ex Machina is the term, thank you. MacGuffin is what you have to go and collect to forward a plot (can be real or conceptual, but something that is obtainable).

      You act like Pinkemina isn't trying to win a debate single handedly, be damned the logical explanations!


      *jumps to boot in the head*
      Things become addressed in time. Are you new to this idea? You seem to reply to every fic in this manner.

      Normal in the sense that there's lots of other sub-plots, and it isn't based entirely on the romance of two ponies. More the interactions of everypony and an element-of-harmony-loss kind of conflict going on. It just doesn't feel right to say pure shipping.

      What does this boot to the head signify?


    62. @NinesTempest
      >You seem to reply to every fic in this manner.
      -I also explained this, quite a few times already, in several places...

      As one person read a story, that person will go through various emotions (which vary in types and intensity), will receive various impressions from the story, and will think and wonder about what he/she just read... as he read the said story.

      I, personally, like to think and wonder about stuff, and make theories... think about what may or may not happen, and etc...

      I like to proceed by 'quotes' ( > ), for various reasons, one of them being that it give a point of reference... so other persons will know what I point when I say something about a precise thing.

      (If only just a few (additional) people, after reading the comment(s) and checking the 'quoted parts', will also think and wonder (maybe about things they might have not thought about otherwise), then I suppose it's a +plus.)

      ...see this as ''progressive feedback'' or something like that...

      ...this was, more or less, the mild-short version...

    63. @Nova25
      Ah. So a streaming thought response.

      Sorry, it's just... very off-putting the way you word it. They seem contradictory in all the wrong places.

      But that's cool. You still give lots of feedback, so the more the better!

    64. @NinesTempest
      I do revise them a bit before posting... but I try to keep them as close as they were.

      Boot to the Head : Basicly show discontent/dissatisfaction toward something.

      It originates here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5kGUW6M7W0

      ...think of this as 'people throwing popcorn at the cinema's screen', but usually transpiring in a more energetic way (sometimes from mild-anger, mild-annoyance, mild-etc...)...

    65. Oh god, I've actually seen that (though it was a new video with the same voices), just didn't recognize it.

      And ehehe. Yes, I can tell you edit things, but that's okay, I guess.

      I'll make sure I don't respond as annoyed as i did the last few times we've talked, sorry!

    66. I just wanna say that I loved Epiphany and this story caught my a long time ago when it was first uploaded so seeing it updated again really made me happy. And to be honest I was taken aback by the thought of a Pinkie/Applejack anything simply because Pinkie is just well.... Difficult. To at least portray in a manner that would be down to earth enough for Applejack to approach. But bringing her Pinkamena side out of left field like that was unexpected. And frankly, I re-read her entire exchange with Applejack at least three times because I just enjoyed it so much.

    67. I REALLY liked this until Trixie became involved. now I'm not sure if I want to continue... I wont. Trixie is completely out of character, I hate her actual character in the first place, and she has more power than Twilight? That makes so much sense. Well, another story to check off my list...

    68. @DoubleMallow

      I totally explicitly and implicitly said that Trixie is stronger than Twilight because... it actually isn't said, but okay, you can hate it if you want!

    69. PLEASE!!!!!!! Update it! I wanna read more of itt!

    70. @Lunavia THey're too pure for that, I reckon. Bother.

    71. After reading 6.5 I realized why Seth loves Trixie so much...

      ...she's the new Avatar.

    72. @NinesTempest
      Nines. There is a distinct lack of shipping so far :V

      Makewiththemakeouts! =P

    73. Well that was pretty damn awesome. My only question to you, is, uh...


    74. @DoubleMallow
      Wow ? Doesn't take much to start spewing stupid stuff ?
      Just because Trixie is there and actually has SOME power ? Really ?

    75. I haven’t checked that story in a LOOONG while, I have to say... I probably forgot most stuff about this story, except maybe the major things... even after checking my previous comments (which refreshed a bit).


      CH.6 :

      >Ah bet bein' in one o' them Epiphany thin's don't mean much for sleep…
      -Ahh, right... The ‘’epiphany’’ thingy per Element, and clearly suspicious magician going to town soon, and bad stuff, etc... Remember that a bit now.

      >One lie would mean… >she no longer possessed the element of Honesty
      -That somewhat sounds stupid, really ?
      No being in the known universe can be expected to be 100% Pure-24h/day-365.25day/year-ALL their life *something*, seriously...
      There’s also the fact that the Bearers REPRESENT the Elements, they *aren’t* a pure 100% avatar of them.
      But, whatever...

      > "Trixie!?" She yelled, but the unicorn mare didn't move. "What are ya doin' to Fluttershy!?"
      > I was saving her!" Trixie's virulent scream startled the farmer
      -Ah, good. For a moment I thought the author was going for the overused ‘’Trixie is the bad guy wanting revenge through sneaky means’’.

      >Applejack saw exactly what Trixie had been talking about; part of Fluttershy's bed was soaked in blood
      -I... didn’t recall that detail, I must say ?

      >a soft glow emanating from her horn in the shape of a cone, moving along Fluttershy's body.
      -Scanning - Please wait.

      >And why are you still here? Twilight said you were in Fillydelphia."
      -Twilight, mmh ? I really can’t remember... are they together in this story ? Friend, at least ?

      >Applejack answered. That's gotta be Aile.
      -Who ? I have no memory of a pony named like that.

      > Ah still think about what might have happened to Dash if ya hadn't decided to go look for that darned plant."
      -Ah... right... Something about a poisonous love plant... and a previous story. Well, that’s one thing I wish I didn’t remember ...mh. -_-


      Well, this was a pretty good part, overall... but, I have some troubles with that mentality of ‘’If you are Element X, you MUST mandatory be a 100% pure, constant and permanently be X, or else !!’’.

    76. CH.8

      >to learn Elemental magic to regain her normal unicorn magic
      -I still have NO clue about the ‘’losing her magic’’ part of this... what’s up with that again ?

      >"I also don't think that you're a very bad pony.
      -He’s not ‘’very bad’’... he’s just a ‘bad’ pony.

      >She didn't agree with her or want her to keep trying or anything. She just wanted to understand."
      >"Understand, huh?"
      -Yes, understand... like trying to understand the logic being a multi-recidivist serial killer... yeeeeeeah, ‘’understand’’.

      >"Welcome to Bubba Rump's," spoke a voice from beside the mare.
      -Oh hi, Bubba Gump, huh I mean Rump : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuUIq0Y31S8

      >Nothing indicated that Pinkie Pie still had any lingering feelings
      -Soooo... did she FINALLY got rid of the ‘’cursed amulet of depression +1’’ ?

      >We should... throw Fluttershy a PARTY!" Pinkie Pie threw her forelegs up into the air.
      -Not that I mind her being good ‘ol Pinky Pie again, but... The amulet ? AJ and Pinky Pie appear to be dropping the issue of the *obvious* ‘evil amulet of stuff’ oddly quickly...

      >A night alone with Pinkie's gonna take a lot of energy.
      >Applejack frowned. That better not mean what ah think it means...
      -Not sure about the necessity of this ‘’innuendo’’(that’s the right word I think) there ? I mean, I’m not sure this one work that well. OR, maybe it’s just how AJ ‘’respond’’ ?


      Well, it was a relatively ‘ok’ chapter.
      Twilight might have seemed like she was trying ‘’a little too much’’ to understand the ‘killer’, while *at the same time* not showing that much sympathy toward AJ and Fluttershy...