New: Woah. It's over? That's almost like a chapter of the fandom ending! In the end, it was 4 years and 2 months in the making, with whopping 1.7 million words. Hope you all are in the mood for some Fallout!
[Grimdark][Crossover][Adventure]
Author: Somber
Description: Forced into the life of a security mare, Blackjack is far more
interested in eking out what fun she can in the dim halls of Stable
99. All that changes as she becomes enveloped in a plot that not only
endangers her stable but the remaining world as well.
Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons (New Chapter 77-Epilogue!)
Additional Tags: Blackjack, P-21, Rampage, Lacunae, Fallen Incomplete Fo:E spinoff, Post-apocalyptic, Long, OC ponies, adventure
Comment Thread #3
Here!
Original story that started it all
here!
Fan Art below!
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| Source: Wavemasterryx |
4,999 comments:
before I start this chapter Somber, I want you to know I love you for all you do for us <3
ReplyDelete4801 comments? So PH is going to need a separate comments thread as well? Awesome!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, great chapter.. a lot less action I see. Well.. doesn't matter.
Okay, first is a disclaimer that I haven't had time to read the new chapter 2 yet, or several of the other revisions, so some parts of what I say may be based on old data which is no longer valid. I'll fix it in a couple days if necessary.
ReplyDeleteSecond... part of me is telling me that I shouldn't be here, because I'm not ready yet for the big thing happening in eleven hours (from the start of the commentary). Another part is saying that I need a stress relief at some point between now and then or I won't be functional when it matters, and a third is reminding me that I won't be able to concentrate knowing there's a new chapter I haven't read yet, but I'll still likely be a bit hurried here. At least I don't need sleep...
Orientation. That seems to bode well. Getting one's bearings, learning the basics of a new job, adapting to a new situation... there are a lot of things it might mean, and most are stressful, but all are ultimately for the better. Right?
And the quote is Pinkie talking about how great friendship is! This is going to be a nice happy chapter. No, really.
Rampage's reminiscence is slightly less auspicious. Here's hoping that we will be alleviating those fears somewhat rather than seeing them realized.
Needle-based weaponry go two ways: either ridiculous muzzle velocity (gauss guns and such) or high-accuracy poison application systems. Given that we've never seen them in PH before, your guess is as good as mine, BJ.
Given your current incapacitation, and the fact that Scotch and P-21 are both unarmed and in plain sight, I believe that surrender is the only reasonable option.
...
Blackjack is not a reasonable mare. Fortunately her friends aren't particularly obedient.
Impressive bit of stupidity there though; while crippled, burnt out, and alone she managed to shift the situation from capture to hostage standoff. With a spoon.
Hmm. It was probably just an offhoof gag, but I can't help but feel a sense of Checkhov's Spoon...
Can't find Glory. [buy some apples!].
ReplyDeleteOkay, Dusk wouldn't be dumb enough to take her back to the Enclave; they'd kill on sight. Unless that was her intention, to redeem herself by bringing her sister back for execution... but no, she had a decent cover story, and this would just ruin that, along with her credibility. Unless Glory's lack of subtlety already did that... For now I choose to believe that Dusk wants to help. Which means that either a) she knows a way to fix a severed wing, or at least to help with Glory's mental state, but it requires them to be elsewhere... without telling anypony... or b) she's trying to get Glory away from Blackjack. Which is perfectly reasonable; since they met Glory's been declared Dashite, nearly killed dozens of times, and now maimed. Dammit, this makes too much sense. And BJ isn't going after them, at least not for a while, because of a combination of guilt at Glory's injury, fatalism at her own imminent death, and feeling useless for not being able to help Glory recover. So either BJ will need to figure out how stupid she's being and turn completely around, or Glory's going to need to recover on her own, figure out what happened, and then hunt her down rather than just giving up after the second round of manumental abandonment and betrayal. Either of those options is unlikely at best. I need to stop thinking and resume reading before I drive myself to tears.
No Triage, Blackjack wouldn't have killed you. She's not an executioner, and she wouldn't put her own life or freedom above the life of somepony who's saving lives every day, especially given her severely limited lifespan. If anypony had called her bluff, there would have been bits of her across the room and you'd have been fine. But it's nice to know that you're valuable enough to the Zodiaks that they're not willing to risk that, isn't it?
A planetarium converted to command center? Clever. Classy. Not good for Scotch's mental state. And therefore likely to damage Blackjack's newfound calm.
50,000 caps or EC-1101... I can't help but feel slightly insulted at the diminished value of Blackjack's leg.
Ah, so she just want's Steelpony unsealed? The question now becomes what that is, and just how horrible it would be to unleash.
Okay, so maybe these explanations were a bit long in coming. Confirmation that Deus was from Steelpony if we didn't have that already, though we still don't know what else the Project entailed. Chimera at least seems to have been a lot bigger than one monster.
Glory! Best pony has returned! Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. Well, missing wing still hurts, but is healing.
And this is why we need a clever pony taking charge sometimes. P-21 is brilliant, but never acts without all the details and tends toward the background. Blackjack isn't as dumb as she seems, most of the time at least, but retains an unfortunate tendency to not think about things. Lacunae can't be in charge of anything and is looking through a heck of a warped lens, Rampage is not the brightest immortal killing machine in the wastes, and Scotch still has no idea what's going on. Without Glory everything falls apart fast.
ReplyDelete“'Sure! I got fifty caps on me. I’ll pay the rest later.'”
*snerk*
“'Hey, Blackjack? Can I get my fifty caps back?'”
Bwahahahahahaha!
Oh Scotch, you have no idea how crazy Blackjack is. Because you see, for a sane pony, none of this would be remotely possible. A sane pony wouldn't have lasted two days after that transition from 99 to the Hoof. A stable pony would never become Security if she did. A rational pony wouldn't be trying to save anypony in the Hoof, especially after ample evidence that most didn't want to be saved and the rest were doomed regardless. But Blackjack is not sane, or reasonable, or any of those other qualities that keep a pony from attempting what is clearly possible, or make them give up when they are clearly doomed to failure, or tell them that settling down and just existing is better than dying messily. She's a big damn hero, a little bit of a monster, scary as hell, completely insane, and the best hope for the worst of the Wasteland.
Oh dear. And now I'm thinking of the potential consequences of the Goddess knowing all these things. Well, we know that she didn't do anything immediately apparent based on this data in Littlepip's wasteland in her remaining 2-3 weeks of existance... and she can't send anyone but Lacunae into the Hoof... it'll be fine. Really. [buy some apples!].
Zodiak was an OIA lead. If anypony thinks to ask the right questions, we could get a massive infodump here. Also might explain her interest in Steelpony; if she's been running with a Mr. House setup for the past two centuries, a cyborg body would be a serious step up. And she seems sane, reasonable, and polite, if not outright good. In the absence of more information I'd say go for it; figure out exactly what Zodiac needs from Steelpony, reactivate it with her support, and use what's inside to give Glory a new wing, fix BJ's legs and eye, and maybe even figure out a way to give her a few more months of time.
Breaking for air and thinking... on one hoof, they need this. A moment of peace. A long talk between BJ and Glory. Maybe even fixing some things slightly. On the other, I just know that something will interrupt them before they can get any answers out of the Professor, and we'll be left with even more questions than before. So I know why this needs to happen. I fully support it; mental health and relationship building is more important than fullfilling my curiosity. But... arrgghh!!! Every time they have an ancient database, or somepony who lived through the mystery, or anything else that can answer everything for us, they lose it immediately!
Heh. Magical unicorn powwer armor firing death bolts. And P0N-3 just really likes toast.
ReplyDeleteSilver Stripe... have we heard that name before? I really need to archive binge soon. There are so many puzzles that feel like the answers are right in front of me and I just can't remember all the clues.
White unicorn mare with gray stripes on legs and mane? A zebra crossbreed perhaps?
Yep. And there's Goldy to snatch up another convenient little asset. I'm thinking that his special talent it spotting opportunities, those places and times where the smallest nudge can have the most impact. He comes to ponies in power when they're on the verge of a decision between two paths, and pushes them towards one... he finds ponies who've lost all opportunities on the verge of despair and he gives them a way out... if he's directly responsible for the activities of the Projects, then he's been snatching up research subjects on the brink of death or immediately after arrest or despairing at the loss of their friends... he took the burning of Hoofington as a chance to catch the entirety of Equestria on a decision point and remold an entire city to suit his purposes...
Woah, mother is the aunt of a Ministry Mare? Which? How? What? Okay, Applejack is right out; she knows all her extended family and had no idea what a zebra was until Twi told her. For that matter nopony except Twilight knew what a zebra was at the start, so it's unlikely that any of them had one as an uncle-in-law. That combined with the Professor's horn... We're almost certainly looking at the living cousin of Twilight Sparkle. That should interest the Goddess, if she bothers to think about it.
Stop. Go back to your involvement in Project Eternity. Because if I'm right, Rampage needs to hear this. And if I'm not, I'd like confirmation about that and answers as to what it actually is.
Trottenheimer handled Starfall and Horizons... is Folly a part of either of those? I feel like I should know more about Starfall... Okay, facts about Trottenheimer: He developed weapons for the Ministries, most famously one or more of the 'big boom' type megaspells, but also specialized ammunition and such, until he was shut down hard by AJ. He built Folly, and a very limited run of Silver Bullets, but none of the Ministry Mares knew what those were. The Bullet cases could apparently be opened by the Ministry Mares though, so there's some involvement there. He eventually killed himself using Folly and the one Bullet he'd managed to keep. If Starfall is metaphorical, it could refer to any of the large scale weapons he'd created, but that's probably too simple. As for Horizons, I still have no idea.
...
Need more information. Or maybe I've just forgotten too much.
Goddamnit Zodiac! Okay, you are not allowed to be in the same room as Scotch anymore.
ReplyDeleteOn the one hoof, memory manipulation of any kind is getting awfully close to the mindrape line. On the other, Scotch would probably have been better off without seeing the cyberdaemon... It's definitely not something that can be decided without asking her for her own view on the matter. Nopony should have authority over the mind of another.
The Dealer again, with yet another mysterious lesson that looks to me an awful lot like training the future Princess of the Hoof. Everything fits my theory here... too well. I'm biased. I need somepony to point out flaws for me, the things I refuse to see. The things that indicate an opposing point.
Dammit Blackjack, that does not count as asking for Scotch's opinion on the operation. You already knew the memories were traumatic, the question is whether she'd prefer to work through them naturally or forget everything. Should have had P-21 make the decision here; nopony else seems to be able to look past their personal emotional response. He's a master of the unemotional response, as evidenced by Blackjack not being dead.
Goddammit P-21. BJ could have handled that better, but mixing drugs and alcohol in the rain and letting everypony else screw themselves is far from the right answer. Glory and Rampage are both doing right as they see it, and Blackjack is an established idiot, but I expected better from you. I am disappoint.
Back to the planetarium. Oh. That's what Eternity is. I'd wondered where Rarity got the subjects for her soul gem experiments...
Okay, we knew Big Daddy. Professor Zodiak is right here. Elder Crunchy Carrots is the Ranger head around here, King Awesome runs the Society, Finders Keepers is Bottlecap, Caprice, and Usury's dad...
who is Dawn? Priest's old name? I thought Big Daddy said they were a filly. Mysterous young mare, gathering five friends around her and trying to save the Wasteland. And why did they split up?
pft. projector overheating. right. sure.
...seapony. Pisces and Capricorn. canon.
shoo be doop?
WavemasterRyx is psychic.
killing joke. that makes sense.
They actually... "“Shoo be doo… Shoo shoo be doo!”
Brain rebooting, try again later.
We have confirmation that not only restoring Glory's wing but also fixing Blackjack's Taint are within Sanguine's capabilities. Making a deal with him is not an option. The course of action is clear: kill him and anypony loyal to him, use EC-1101 to take over his equipment and persuasion (bribery, threats, etc) on anypony working with him that isn't entirely loyal, and have Glory fix you herself.
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy, idiotic, and probably impossible. Should be easy.
Poor naive Lacunae. As if simply teleporting behind Blackjack and raising an inpenetrable magical shield would give you a chance. She's crppled, burnt out, alone, and armed with a weapon that has virtually no chance of penetrating your shield, while you're a full-powered alicorn. Her defeating you would be impossible. And impossible is what Blackjack does best.
Apparent confirmation that Detective Softheart is part of Rampage. And yeah, there was little about the handling of Scotch's issues that could have gone worse. At the very least tell her that you took two days from her, and why. Fill her in on the simple factual account, maybe leaving out her father and the slaver she killed. Don't try to keep it a secret, because it will come out, and the longer she goes without knowing the more it'll hurt when she learns.
Do better and drag everypony along with or die trying. The Dealer approves.
That dream... where did it come from? Is Lacunae screwing around, or the Goddess? Is EC-1101 (or whatever the Dealer comes from) screwing with her again? Okay, body of a unicorn... definitely high-end military armor and weaponry... acting like the Angel of Death, but not exclusive to foals and definitely after the apocalypse...
Oh. It's Psalm, isn't it? This is where the bodies come from in Lacunae's mind. A pile of foals, one shot in the head of each, to save them from a slow painful death in the wastes. And Blackjack's somehow managed to take part of her memories away from Lacunae into herself, or something.
Now, who was she out to kill? Goldenblood, for what he did to the Marauders?
So yes, Eternity was a means of getting test subjects for Rarity, so that she could experiment with making ponies immortal before attempting it with her friends. And Rampage is almost certainly the end result of that, though the mixing of ponies is strange...
I have to wonder if there are other immortals out there, with the healing talisman installed but no other modifications. Or perhaps Rampage is the result of an explosion in an OIA facility or something, mixing the products of Eternity and Chimera with a half-dozen experimental subjects in ways nopony predicted or intended.
*Twitch* Goldenblood and Fluttershy... no. Just no. She was his nurse, and he was a scheming bastard, but I refuse to believe it went further than that.
ReplyDeleteAnd now the murder. I see why he did it; that conversation, if it got out, would have ruined Rarity, Goldenblood, the MoI, and every last one of the Projects in an instant. And he'd done much worse than kill a single mare for what he believed to be the greater good. The fact that he didn't look away as she fell means one of two things: either he was cold enough that it didn't hurt, or his sense of martyrdom or duty to her wouldn't allow him to look away no matter how much it did hurt. But how calmly he did it, the complete lack of remorse he showed... he's come a long way from when he apologized to Fluttershy after convincing Luna to form the Ministries.
Well, Hightower jail is another important point of investigation. Though ponies are dying in the war you might be able to stop, and there's a definite time limit on taking down Sanguine and commandeering his resources. I'm afraid that Eternity will probably have to wait.
Unless of course it's on the way to your first stop >_<. Sidequest time!
Boom Inc. sounds fun. OIA Progress office sounds boring, but probably has massive amounts of information available. Horizon Laboratories? It can't be that easy. They probably worked on Redoubt there or something. And once more to Hippocratic Research.
Rampage isn't coming. The six have been broken... this will not end well.
Right, four hours later... I guess I was wrong about hurrying this one >_<.
ReplyDeleteI think we can safely say that Somber has no idea what makes a good chapter, given that she called this one horrible. And by Project Horizons standards this was even happy; at least the good moments outnumbered the horrors (though there were a few things that will hurt like hell later).
I appear to have neglected to mention the interview sections; they were beautifully done. It's good to get a view into the minds of Blackjack's companions, and you managed to get across far more than should be possible in a couple simple paragraphs each.
Scotch's memory wipe... as uncomfortable as I am with the concept, I admit that removing her memories of the last couple days is probably for the best. The monster, Blackjack blurting out that P-21 was her father, killing a slaver... these are all things that she probably needs to experience, but the way it happened was too much too fast for anypony to handle right out of the Stable. But the way they went about it was all wrong. If they'd asked her directly, she's probably have agreed to the procedure; she knew that seeing the cyberdaemon had messed her up in a big way, and she freely admitted that she wished she didn't know about P-21. Then after she's been wiped voluntarily they could have told her... most of everything. That there was a monster, and that it had traumatized her enough that she wanted to forget. Simple factual accounts of everything except P-21 and the killing, so she knows how she came to be here and why she couldn't remember, and so that she was aware that it was what she wanted instead of something they stole from her mind. Even Rampage probably wouldn't be able to find a problem with that. As is... it was for a good cause, but they entered her mind without any sort of permission and tore out part of who she was because they decided she would be better without it.
@Overlong Analysis Cobalt:
ReplyDeleteOoh, I didn't think of connecting BJ's dream in the black armor to the killings just before the apocalypse... Definitely similar weaponry, efficiency, etc. But the museaum fight at least was a group with fairly standard military armor. And all the bullet holes in the walls there and in the Cake's shop don't match up with the tight, accurate bursts by the black-armored pony in the dream. I'm sticking with Psalm as my theory there.
@No One
IIRC the main story referenced Ursas, and at least implied that the giant invisible thing that came out of the Everfree in one of the early chapters (and which Steelhooves fired a missile down the throat of) was some variation on an Ursa.
I'm not quite joining you in the Goldenhate yet; there have been perfectly reasonable explanations of everything he's managed to do or convince people of so far. I certainly don't like him, especially after the murder in this chapter, but I think I understand him to some degree and I don't think he's a weak point in the story. Also, Rarity's ideas using the Black Book and soul jars are quite clearly coming from her, not him. All he did was facilitate her research after she'd already made her decision. And then use his knowledge of what she'd been doing to blackmail her at a later date.
If he turns out to have actually seduced Fluttershy... *twitch*
On a completely unrelated note, I expect we'll need an extra comment thread by the end of the day. Certainly before we finish discussing this chapter.
Blackjack's interview reminds me quite a bit of the N64 game "Conker's Bad fur Day"... where the hungover drunk titular squirrel is swept off to kill zombies, fight in a war, pull off a bank heist, defeat a monster created to assassinate the king, and other insane stuff, while all he really wanted was to just go home.
ReplyDeleteThere are quite some parallels here, actually. Let's hope at least Project Horizons ends on a more positive note. CBFD's end was positively morbid. Brilliant, but morbid.
Oh I thought it was PH that referenced Ursas. I know they were mentioned before. Either way the clear reference still makes my foreshadow sense tingle.
ReplyDeleteAs for Goldenhate lets agree to disagree. xP
I just love reading your comments Sindri. I can't think of anyone that drops eight posts worth of comments per chapter. It's pure platinum, it's so awesome.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate everypony else's comments. I'm sorry you don't like Goldenblood No One. Well... that's not exactly right. I'm sorry you think Goldenblood is such a break in the story. I need him to drive the plot forward and to justify things that happened in FE.
OAC: Thanks as well. A lot of your insights were spot on. And some weren't. It's always interesting to see where my reader's heads are going.
SEAPONIES. Teehee <3
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved Lacunae/The Goddess this chapter. I assume this is another place where Harmony keeps enervation at bay?
After this chapter, Goldenblood almost feels like Red Eye beta version 0.7.
Glory passes the bartering/int/ speech check and savvves BJ so many caps and so much guilt.
I expected Lacunae to reacts to the Trixie lite display from the Proffesor and the mention of an Ursa- that she does so made me smile.
Yes BJ. Bad BJ. No taking your doctor hostage.
Thanks for waiting until my finals were over to release this, Somber :D
ReplyDeleteGonna read it in a couple hours. Never done commentary before, but I might give it a shot.
That was a wonderful chapter, although, I still see the Zodiacs as villains. I mean, didn't the first Zodiac BJ run into try to get her to kill a bunch of innocent ponies that had been tied up? So yeah, not a fan of Zodiacs.
ReplyDeleteBut anyway, the rest of the chapter was fantastic! I really hope Rampage rejoins the group, she was such a lovable crazy pony.
“Many ponies have come through here for help. We do we can, take what payment they can make, and send them on their way.
ReplyDelete-Should be "we do WHAT we can"
Ahah!
ReplyDeleteI finally understadn why Goldenblood bothers me.
All right kids, here's the why.
Something that PH tries to do is offer its own view into the behind the scenes, workings of the war and fill the occasional pot hole in FoE's story.
Right now, it feels that Goldenblood fills far too mny of those holes for just one pony. Now, I'll admit that he may have just been a facilitator and enabler for the evil perpetrated by other ponies, but his gradual build up as a distant big bad, forces us to focus on him and blame HIM. While weare distracted from the other actors.
This could all just be an issue of misperception.
@Sindri
ReplyDeleteWell, let's see...
"My lips moved silently, but the familiar words were dull and meaningless." Yeah, that sounds a lot like Psalm. But that doesn't mean it can't be related to the ponies that attacked the museum - likely-Psalm states that she's got a mission, and while that might be more of a metaphor than an official thing, I think it could make plenty of sense for her to be involved with whatever conspiracy was at work. How many groups in black with silenced weapons and a post-apocalyptic plan can there really be? (still don't know what that plan is...)
Plus, it'd give her a painful sort of pattern: she joins up with the Goddess at some point relatively soon, and the question of what she did post-Marauders has been raised but is not yet answered, right? What'd she join up with in Equestria's final months?
Oh, and if it's Psalm then that means BJ's being telepathically connected to Lacunae somehow, right? Either from the tumors, or from the repeated thought-melding the two have, or possibly from Lacunae touching horns with her while she's asleep. The latter seems far-fetched, but maybe the Goddess wants to erode the relationship between BJ and Lacunae or something and had our favorite alicorn share that with BJ? Don't think it's likely, but I suppose it's possible.
@Somber
Welcome. :) Nice to know I'm getting on the right track about some stuff, and that I'm not so good at this predicting thing that I don't get to be surprised. Ooh, and I do want to know what happens next; the wait's always hardest just after reading when the rampant speculation starts to kick in.
[Oh, and my computer hasn't shut itself down now for like half a day, so it looks like I may be out of stormy waters and into relatively smooth sailing. My boat is still held together by flower-wire, though.]
[Also, I can't wait to see Ryx's reaction to the Shoo Be Doo!]
Cobalt: OR MINE?
ReplyDeleteSeapony Rampaaaaaaaaage forever.
Speaking of.
*clings* Mah little monsterpony, why, Somber. Why.
Alright, I see it's been posted, but I won't be able to read it until tonight.
ReplyDelete“She said you’ve never help her now.”
ReplyDelete-"She said YOU'D never help her now."
“Get those emergency suits handed out. Foals, first damn it,”
-"Foals first, damn it,"
“I… I think and you and Fluttershy make a wonderful… erm… couple.”
-"I... I think THAT you and Fluttershy"
"The Goldenblood being a murderer thing... I was... disappointed."
-Remove 'the'? Not exactly sure how, but it needs fixing.
Not sure if anyone has posted this before, but am I the only one that imagines the "Dealer" with Dexter's father voice?
ReplyDeleteHmm... Blackjack having 6 months to a year left to live (currently)? A number of still-mysterious projects? Directions to O.I.A hubs that include one named after the titular project?
ReplyDeleteEeyup. My money's on Blackjack being a project subject. Likely (but not necessarily) of Horizons.
now... I'm going to do a summary as I read it, which is unlike me, but I hope you enjoy my thoughts.
ReplyDeletePowerful opening statement.
I like the imagery of it.
:|...an eating utensil?
...god somber. I love you. reminds me of the time I stabbed my brother in the wrist with a fork to continue a family punch up as a kid.
lol good times.
[I was restrained, it was the closest thing that'd get him to let me go so I could get back to it]
So feisty!
"I'm nopony's fool"... apart from Glory's.
that was... interesting. the whole wizard of oz thing being bet on between Rampage and Zodiac.
cheap bastards. everyone is trying to screw one another over out of a few caps, aren't they?
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I was feeling worried about that debt. and then OHMYGOD. I LOVE YOU SOMBER <3
you've made my day.
I love Glory acting like this, and I love that BJ gets to have some comfort from her. I don't know if it'll last, but I damn well hope so.
I like scotch tapes little note. very very good character development there. I had a feeling it was her.
BJ crying like this hurts me. it saddens me. it makes me want to cry. but there's nothing to forgive. nothing to apologise for.
sad is good.
-squees-
GOSH. YES. such a beautiful kiss <3
"The great berry riots of 99'" LOL
(adding the 99' for reference to stable and hilarity.
enjoying the further depth of information on the enclave/thunderhead.
very... very grim @ doof.
I shudder as I can't help but imagine a ten tonne giant of a metalpony just crushing a tank, killing all those zeb's and then proceeding to do that.
though admittedly, very much like him indeed.
bravo.
bahahahah. I'm sorry, but the point where ST screams amuses me thoroughly. its a creepy, creepy image and I don't blame her, but I find it hilarious.
Not sure how to feel about P-21 and this whole anti-fathering thing. I do see his side, definitely, but as BJ says, he could've at least been nicer about it all.
removing ST's memories is probably the best thing for her really, despite rampages protests. I mean, its nothing like her with thorn.
she doesn't need to fear every god damn piece of metal she sees on the road. why should she?
from a one off, of all things.
plus that'll remove the whole seeing the end of the world/dues raping everyzebra and so on.
@MichaelJAW In my personal style, the last one would be something like "The Goldenblood-being-a-murderer thing..." Basically, "Goldenblood being a murderer" acts as an adjective that works on "thing." I'd call it legit and legible, but I think it's more I'm-an-author-I-do-what-I-want grammar than real, proper English. I would not be the one to ask, however, since I subscribe wholly to the IAAIDWIW school of grammarings; real, proper English and I have not spoken for many a year.
ReplyDelete@Mint
Hey yeah! You (and everyone) can draw 'em! (Seapony everypony! It's the logical next step from the wet mane.) Oh, and don't worry, I'm sure Rampage'll be back in some way, shape, form, and/or personality. Gotta feel bad for her, though.
@Creegos
Not really sure how I imagine him sounding. Sort of like a younger version of the narrator from Bastion?
I'm sensing a very real, metaphorical meaning to the whole BJvSD
ReplyDeleteI know you look up to Kkat immensely. but remember, you're two different people with two very different approaches to things.
You see Kkat as a alicorn and you're a simple earth pony. that's not true. you're both unicorns, but you both have a different set of magic.
We all love her work, we all love your work.
We love her work for the setting it provides, for the world it brings, for the lore it begins.
We love her work for the plot.
We love your work for the action, the character development, the emotional depth, the real life experiences written into it as metaphors, butterflies among birds.
Kkats work is the birds. you notice it a lot more and you see them predominantly because they're bigger and more obvious.
but the butterflies are no less beautiful, no less special, no less loved.
we adore you. we adore the character development. we adore the depth of your work. we adore the action and how it plays out. we adore the plot and all of its mysteries.
we adore everything, Somber.
Chances are you'll deny all of this. you'll say its simply Blackjacks view of the stable dweller. but I know that you feel like blackjack when it comes to Kkat.
-hugs you tight-
don't fret. she'll love everything you've written just as much as we do.
SEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPONIEEEEEEEES <3
Grammar error:
"turquoise pony looked at me with a sympathetic look. “She said you’ve never help her now.”"
----you'd, rather then you've.
MINTY. DRAW A PICTURE OF SEAPONY HUGGING BJ. NAO. LOL
Poor Glory. I really, really do feel so bad for her.
maybe, just maybe, there's a way to reopen chimera and have it so Sanguine has no control over it? purely to replace lost pieces?
Maybe project steelpony would do the job just as well? I mean, the professor did say they worked on hearts as the first thing, and then eventually on all the other organs and then things like thicker hide... so maybe if they ignored chimera, but opened steelpony, helping out the professor, she'd repay BJ & Glory with their needs too?
surely they'd have made new wings on project steelpony too.
"You will do this"..."nah"...
heheh hehe heh
I don't think shooting rampage every time she gets upset is going to do her any good >.> not criticising your writing, I mean @ blackjack.
"and let it soothe me off to sleep"
my heart... it weeps in pure delight at the sweetest pieces of your writing, and it breaks at the darkest. you have truly mastered your craft.
Not sure what to think of the covert soldier thing. the action was amazing, of course, and the writing style superb as always, but there's no... explanation. it feels [at the moment] hollow and meaningless because there's no given reason for it.
memory orb? nightmare of rampages? nightmare of BJ?
No clue.
...Monty python reference? I love you <3
We're getting an explanation? forgive me.
like I say, this is being written as I read it, with every time my mind gets to a really chunky/noteworthy part being replied to.
----Grammar error again:
"I couldn’t think that that would ever be valuable; in six months"
I couldn't think that it would ever be... would be a better way to word that sentence.
way to get a smirk out of me with the "oh crap, can I do that again?"
loved this chapter. definitely loved it.
keep writing somber <3 your work makes my life worth living.
[I'm bipolar, but as long as I stay happy I can starve off the depression. your story is the biggest thing in my life right now that actually makes a positive dent rather then a neutral "well at least I have..."]
@Overlong Analysis Cobalt
ReplyDeleteI guess you're right. As is, it just doesn't sound right to the narrative pony in my head. I think it works better hyphenated, as you did in your reply?
Another great chapter Somber! Sorry I don't have much to say other than that right now. Mabye I'll come back later and elaborate more
ReplyDeleteAnd now, my contribution to the complete and utter breakage of the original comment thread. Yay.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of yay, MORE HORIZONS. YAY. Yeah, one would think that the Dealer wouldn't just appear at random like that, but yeah. Part of me wishes Blackjack had the other statuettes with her so she could actually make some... um... better decisions.
Good, no. Better, most certainly.
I don't think it's out of place that Goldenblood has his hooves in so much of the darker stuff that lies behind the scenes, only that he's physically present for so many of them.
ReplyDeleteIt's like always being shown the monster in a horror movie, rather than saving it for the big reveal. We all know it's what's driving the plot forward, and we accept that as part of what we're enjoying, but it's a lot easier to spot the zipper on its back if we're actually seeing it so much.
Kipper: Good! I'm glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that Somber was projecting just a smidgen onto BJ. ^.^
ReplyDeleteSomber: This is excellent. /You/ are excellent. And you are getting a wonderful Christmas present, oh yes... *conspiratorial hand-rubbing*
Oh... seapony cuddles. ^.^
And, finally. I don't think BJ is a project, and certainly not Horizons. My money is on Horizons being named after the real Project Horizons from the 60s-70s. Which means... Ponies! In! Spaaaaaaace! (bottle of Wild Pegasus to whoever gets /that/ reference. XD)
@Mint Julip
ReplyDeleteDamnit!! Can't you see I'm in denial here?? Blackjack just CANNOT die. Especially NOT after what Littlepip's chosen to do...
BAD BLACKJACK! ASK ABOUT THE OTHER PROJECTS. AND TROTTENHEIMER.
ReplyDeleteOk, back to reading.
JAW: SHE'S SO GONNA DIE.
ReplyDeleteNo... I hope she doesn't. If only because, yes, I want Glory/BJ to end up together like Pip/Homage don't get. >.>
Especially now that Glory's all determined and adorable and Aaaaa gotta art.
@MichaelJAW
ReplyDeleteBlackjack is blackjack, She'll almost certainly do one of the following:
-live to see the end and we'll never know if she does die from the internal damage.
-live until the end, dying of her internal injuries/mutation and sheer damage done to her by the final boss, however, in doing so she'll save hoofington [the best it can be saved] and her friends, making a sacrifice of her own, but in a much less "save the world by plugging myself into something" way and more of a "I'll fight until the last drop of blood, until this enemy falls and I stand no more!"
or...
-She'll live, she'll fight an end boss [as is the way this story is being written. I'm almost certain there's going to be a final personal conflict - due to the hints and things Somber has said] possibly involving sanguine or some other monster he has, maybe even someone higher then sanguine [there's always room for that].
She'll save her friends, she'll save the day AND she'll find a way to make herself better, either through augmentation or perhaps some other way.
[there is always the possibility of the twilight society lending out their skills in purging taint, seeing as she is security and after the final epic battle, they are supposed to be a lot more generous with their knowledge...]
who knows. only Somber.
Awesome chapter and blackjack gets her rest! Double score! See, I told you it would be fine. You worry too much somber.
ReplyDeleteSince I'm late to the party and everything I would have said has been said I'll just list the high points. (Damn sindri, where do you get the stamina? I've written shorter essays... O_o)
Glory - Ace Attorney. Yes Yes Yes. OBJECTION!
Seaponies. We all knew it was coming and it indeed was good. Bonus points for the bathtub.
The interviews. A very elegant solution for giving the other characters air time without blackjack being present. Where are the others though, or did they just decline to do it?
GloryJack forever. When it got to the point where it said "that left me and glory with nowhere to be and nothing to do" I mentally inserted *bow chikka bow wow*. It was not to be though...
We're off to see the wizard... He's just a man behind this curta-OH GOD IT'S HIDEOUS...
One thing I must say though is this chapter has more mistakes than usual. I counted at least 5 while reading through.
The one I can remember off hand is that digestive track should be digestive tract. I have to say it, I'm a biologist. :p
Other than that good job.
@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteI've been noticing it in his work for quite a while, to be quite honest. its only now that I've decided to come out and say all that because he needs to know we're all here for him.
Somber. I mean it. you know we're here for you both emotionally and when we can, financially.
Minty has said it. and you know what, I'm going to say it too:
Christmas; I'll see what I have left in the bank and I'll send you a little gift simply because you deserve it.
Keep strong. please.
Hey Somber! Ok, I've finally worked up the nerve to say on here what I've been ranting to everyone I know for months about this. I first didn't like the idea of it, cause it's a grimdark fallout crossover, so I avoided it like the plague. Well, I decided to read it anyway(obviously), and before the main, and I love it. Actually like it better than the main (dont hate me, people!) Sure, the kids in the hospital part made me want to eat a bullet again, but it is amazingly well written. I am an evil, evil pony, and and find it hilarious when small furry animals die horrific deaths, but *lowers head in shame* that made me cry. Anyone who knows me will tell you that is almost impossible. And you ruined that lullaby for me you bastard! I think the web of secrecy and lies is awesome. And creepy. Suffice to say you have a real talent for writing. So I have to ask you the same question I asked Kkat: Please, please tell me someone throws buckets of money at you to write things? I keep telling people that this is better written than some (quite a few) books I've read, and they have to read it.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm done gushing like a little schoolfilly with a crush.
But I've wondered from the start (and haven't read all the comments to know if its been answered, so don't tase me bro's). Is Blackjack based off of someone, or just a character in your head? If that's already been said and I'm too lazy to find it, can someone enlighten me, cause I'm... curious.
Great chapter, loved the new zodiacs
ReplyDeleteBut the only problem is i find myself tearing up at every mention of little pip. It makes me so sad.....
Thank you all for your praise of Somber and the errors you've pointed out; I'll be correcting said errors when I can actually get into the chapter.
ReplyDelete@Lord Pimpington
ReplyDeleteThanks. I'm really glad you like the story.
Blackjack started as Scotch Tape. Her mom was killed, she found out about EC-1101, and ran away with it. Deus was the head of security and it was Stable 99 who was going to be the first big bad. In the end I felt that it was ripping off Little Pip. I also don't like passive protagonists who react to everything. So I revamped her and tried to make her more of an inverse of Little Pip. Not too bright, but familiar with violence. She was a security pony, but a bad one. Then she finds out about the threat to her home, and fights to save it. Chapter 2-5 pretty much are hoof and shoe along with FoE. It isn't until chapters 6-7 that the story starts rolling on its own.
Though you could also say that BJ is a pony I wish I could be. She always tries to do the right thing and she never, ever, gives up.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteSomber, you know how you were telling us how terrible this chapter was ending up during the writing process and that it wouldn't be very good?
STOP LYING TO US!! :P
You're being far too harsh on yourself, although it does make me wonder how awesomely amazing something you're happy with would be like...
Keep it up man, it seems you're doing far better than you think you are.
Somber, even though you apparently dislike chapters that are mostly dialogue, I just wanted to say I appreciate it so much when it happens in this story. The fact that there are still so many projects that I don't know what they do is bothering me :I
ReplyDeleteAlso, you're amazing and so is this chapter. Keep up the amazing work :D
@Lord Pimpington
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the irradiated, Enervated corner of the Herd! Somber is too obtuse to actually ask for assistance, but he has a paypal account connected to [email protected] for all your throwing-money-at-the-author needs.
-throwing out shameless plugs so you don't have to-
I wonder what a Pony/ Ursa - Starpawn chimera would be like.
ReplyDeleteThis is just imagination fodder, but Hoofington is The Black Omen, the core is The Mammon Machine and The Eater of Souls is Lavos, sleeping beneath it. Oh dear.
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDeleteThis is... interesting, to say the least.
I mean, it was always obvious that BJ is the inverse of LP and all that - not in a bad way either, it makes it familiar yet apart, which is good.
anyway;
I'm so glad you've gone how you have it now. its infinitely better then it would've been having scotch as the MC.
Dues as the head of security seems... freaky to me now. I can only imagine this huge metal pony that rapes everypony else if they commit a crime o.o
@Somber
ReplyDeleteSo she's just a basic character that formed in your head and then turned into the Blackjack we all know and love(/hate?)? Well, I guess that's kinda better than being based on an actual person... Curiosity satisfied.
I would be one pony to throw buckets of money at you, if only to pay for the years of therapy you'll inevitably need for having all of that come out of your head. Sure, it's awesome, but some of that stuff... *shudders* Yup. Years of therapy.
Also: Don't sweat the small stuff. Sure, you make the occasional spelling and grammatical error, but we all forgive you for that cause you give us such awesome reading material.
More intrigue... and actually, this chapter feels like a bit of a turning point. I have to admit, after Chapter 27, there seemed to be no way out of the darkness, but this actually leaves at least a bit of hope for the future with Project Chimera.
ReplyDeleteI'm very interested to see what will be found in the research centres to the north-east, as well.
Bad Blackjack. I disagree with it, but I won't argue that there's nothing good about removing Tape's memory. But to do it without her permission and then lie to her was wrong. She will find out and she may never trust you again.
ReplyDeleteHinds and Bronode are absolutely and indispensably awesome at making corrections. We're not so good at catching them when we're brushing, but as soon as anyone points them out they're fixing it. I honestly couldn't do this story without their help. The best advice I can give to any aspiring writer, fanfic or otherwise: try to find somepony willing to brush your work.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my mom's family is visiting. They are about as conservative as you can get. And of course when they asked what I was writing on, mom told them "Oh he's doing a silly little my little pony story." ...yeah... thanks mom.
Monday can't come soon enough...
*pokes*
ReplyDeleteAnd if you do throw money at Somber, drop me a line. I'm still doing gift art for people who do (I swear I'm not that far behind. >.>)
*hugs for you, Somber* I know how you feel. It's... interesting to tell folks what I spend all my days drawing when I say I do art in my spare time. XD
"Silly little my little pony story" is not exactly how I'd describe this. If you let them read it, I think two things would happen; one, they would forever reconsider anything that has anything to do with MLP, and two, they would consider you the spawn of satan or something. xD
ReplyDeleteYay for living in a secular country where we don't have crazy conservatives! xD
Anyhow, back on topic; great chapter. I'm actually starting to get my hopes up that Blackjack gets her well deserved happy ending after all xD
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDeleteOn the one hoof, it's never pleasant to have your life's work just dismissed as inconsequential by others, especially if you actually care what they think to some degree. On the other, it's almost certainly a good thing that your ultraconservative relatives don't know what you're really writing. >_<
Oh dear. This is probably just me being silly and paranoid again, but please make sure that you have a solid password on your computer and keep it shut down when they're in the room. It's highly unlikely, but if they decide to investigate the results cannot be good.
@Sindri
ReplyDeleteGak. I keep getting server error messages when I try to post, and then when I do get through my comments have multiplied. Silly blogger. Still better than the alternative.
First off, *SQUEE!!!* New chapter!
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, I know how artists and authors are motivated almost entirely by positive feedback, so...
Well, honestly, I got nothing. Not because I have nothing good to say, but because I've caught up and have no words for how much I enjoy your story, Somber. I love the characters and feel for them more than any story (novel, show, whatever) I've ever read. Thank you. I'll be sad when the story finishes.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteThe worst my relatives will do is believe in tame conspiracy theories, become vegans, and gossip. You've got my sympathies, mate; good luck and godspeed through the weekend, eh?
*cough cough*
ReplyDeleteOkay. Super-quick, 15 minute doodle, since I didn't have much time today to draw (yey, finished my last class for my Master's).
http://shytalon.deviantart.com/art/Interspecies-Relations-274290232
Shoo be doo!
@Mint Julep
ReplyDeletelol at the sketch, congratulations on the education.
shoo shoo be doop!
@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteBlackjack is calling upon the seaponies!
...shoobedoo... :D Nice drawin', Mint, made me laugh. Grats on the class bein' finished, too! Based on the title, is, um... is Blackjack hitting upon the seaponies, too?
SHE WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. >.>
ReplyDelete@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteYeah! There wasn't even any mention of their scaly flanks in the story! If 'Pip were here, on the other hoof...
@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteThank goodness, Glory would not approve! /cough except maybe if she was invited.
@Sindri
Yeah, we all know what Littlepip watching over the wasteland really entails (no pun intended).
@Sindri: There... kind of was. She did mention where the scales started. XD
ReplyDelete@Cobalt: Nu... Glory's a good girl and would shoo them away from her Blackjack with lasers.
I have been anticipating this new chapter more than the main story!
ReplyDeleteI think it's because I identify more closely to Blackjack, being a flirty, alcoholic, not-so-clever-pony myself.
aww yessss! give it to me give it to me....inject it right into my brain!
ReplyDeleteSomber, would you like typo and grammar corrections?
ReplyDeleteCorrections are great. You can post them here or E-mail them to me and I'll forward them to Hinds. :)
ReplyDelete@SomberOk, I'm half way through the chapter now and am noting them as I go. I don't have your email address though.
ReplyDeleteIt's at the bottom. Or here. [email protected]
ReplyDelete:3
I will have -limited- talk as I read comments today. I will then read the 78 comments that have been posted since the chapter went up. Here goes.
ReplyDeleteInteresting little take on fear there from Rampage. Very fitting, too. Makes sense. Why fear something when it can't ultimately end you? All it can do is hurt you temporarily, but eventually you will win. Fear is introduced when the ability to do anything is taken out of your hands. Makes me wonder what went through SteelHooves' mind when he was laying on the ground in his first encounter with Littlepip.
Aw no. Nononononono. You're not going to have Glory rejoin the Enclave and end up not coming back down to the ground until Operation Cauterize, are you?
Ah. So there was no off-screen explanations to the group. Here we go, this should be a doozy.
YAY GLORY! NOOO SHE STILL ONLY HAS ONE WING...
Go Glory.
Ok, she seems like she's either back in love with BJ or at least her attitude has been turned back by a week or so. I really want to know what Dusk told her now.
Ok, this is Scotch this time. Why are BJ's friends being interviewed? And the story is from BJ's POV. If we're seeing these, that means BJ finds out about them at some point. How does she find out?
Called how Goldenblood was able to do everything he did.
At least I wasn't going to die alone. So cliche. So very cliche. But so very, very good.
Mother is the aunt of a ministry mare... whhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat... Ugh, we can't even guess wildly about this one. Parents' siblings aren't covered anywhere in FOE or MLP.
This feels like Metal Gear Solid. The flow of the chapter, I mean, not the plot. Although the plot isn't too far behind...
The pink tower... I can't help but wonder if this is a reference to How I Met Your Mother.
No. You've got to help Scotch the right way. Taking out those memories is NOT the right way.
Typo:
"She chuckled and nodded. “And Awesome, Crunchy Carrots, Finders Keepers, and little Dawn."
I think that should be "Little Dawn".
Is that a... is that a seapony?
They are... the two fish ones are seaponies... oh my gosh...
Ah. So it must be the Professor who is doing these interviews.
Catch a killer to become a killer herself. So... what... she isn't the Angel of Death? But she is the one who caught the Angel of Death? And then she became a killer herself...
Another typo: "He stared off; was he looking into Sable 99 right now? " Stable 99.
Goldenblood and Fluttershy. Called it.
Awwww... Goldenblood. You disappoint me.
Yes BJ, Rampage is there. She's just too pissed at you to be anywhere near you.
@Arcane Scroll:
ReplyDeleteI'd actually prefer them in the comments, but having Somber forward me the emails works too.
@RainbowYoshi:
Thanks for the feedback and typo-spotting. The Dawn thing isn't one, though; "little" is a descriptor, not part of the name.
@nuub3d
ReplyDeletewell, daz obvious ya git, derz never enaug Dakka
On one hand, seaponies. On the other hand seaponies. This situation has no good outcome. Still funny as fuck though.
ReplyDeleteHey somber, nice work, this chapter had a huge amount of information in it, and it was just what the story needed, and nice start hilariously done... totally worth the wait...well its late and I have to get to work by 11 to make a freaking cheese display for 133...I hate making cheese displays...I really really hate them...
ReplyDeletereally hate them
I was so happy to read this you know. Great
'The Battle of Stable 99' for you guys.
ReplyDeletehttp://mech-station.tumblr.com/post/14346510540/the-battle-of-stable-99-my-biggest-regret-was
@Somber
ReplyDeleteI never noticed that was there...
Ok, email sent.
@O. Hinds
ReplyDeleteOf course I read that right after I email it.
>nightmare and you helpless to stop it.
nightmare and you are helpless to stop it.
>And the greatest fear of all is knowing that that something bad might be you.
[suggestion] And the greatest fear of all is knowing that the something bad might be you.
>getting you a acceptable instructor
getting you an acceptable instructor
>but slowed as saw him slouched there
but slowed as I saw him slouched there
Seaponies!!!!
>All kinda of talismans still intact.
All kinds of talismans still intact.
@Mech
ReplyDeleteagain? dammit mech, this is the third time (along with dance with deus and robomination) one of your FOE:PH fanarts makes it into my wallpapers, y u draw so awesome?!
also, hey Somber. this chapter was awesome, you're awesome, keep beiing so awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised it seems that you took my suggestions to heart (though since, imo, they were good suggestions, you just planned to do that all anyways, before I commented). I noticed in particular that this chapter was clearer, and I liked that you gave us the update on when this sync'd with Kkat's.
ReplyDeleteI see why you interspersed the interviews, and it didn't not work, but it didn't completely work for me. I was able to guess that it was some kind of interview or interrogation off the bat, which reduces a bit of the suspense that the structure of the chapter builds up. Again, might very well be just me.
@axlemn
ReplyDeleteI thought it felt like an episode of M*A*S*H that I'm rather fond of. In it there are interviews throughout the episode set during a particularly rough shift. It worked very well for me.
See, kids, this is why I never introduce myself as PH's artist. ^.-
ReplyDelete'Tis excellent, Mech. The only comment I'd have is that the composition is very balanced. I assume that's a style choice -- the two sides about to clash in bloody warfare and all. On the plus side, it does a good job of drawing us right in to the Dealer in the background, which I also assume was something you wanted.
And, I agree. A sripey-juggernaut tearing someone limb from limb would have been a great addition. *grins*
@arcane: Yes! The episode when the war correspondent is interviewing all of them!
ReplyDelete@Mech
ReplyDeleteWow, nice job. I love the Dealer just sitting in the background watching.
http://shytalon.deviantart.com/art/PH-chapter-28-sketch-1-274366428
ReplyDeletehttp://shytalon.deviantart.com/art/PH-Chapter-28-sketch-2-274366448
http://shytalon.deviantart.com/art/Chapter-28-sketch-3-274366453
Three sketches done this morning before the new FiM episode. I just didn't get to upload them until now.
Might clean a couple of these up (especially the Professor's).
"Skybound Pegasus carrying a coconut"
ReplyDeleteSomber, did I just dectect a Monty Python reference?
Oh, you just became 20% cooler.
Background: The Dealer shuffling his cards, taking in the whole background with his duster, befor him a table with dealed cards... three of them...
ReplyDeleteevery single showing a picture...:
-
blurry, fading on the edges to black, dark, raining, a dead tree in a somewhat small park, siting/leaning on the trunk at the roots of: P-21, med-x and whisky, on one edge you see BJ...
--
blurry, fading on the edges to white, somewhat a bright room, in the center a operation table, on it lying, conected to some maschines and endgulfed in magic: ST.
---
blurry, fading on the edges to black,raining. The Gates of the collegiate, opening. broken-down skycrapers and other building in the backround. The 5 members rejoin again, looking into the distance. On one of the building in the backround, slightly blurry rempage is visiable, looking down at them.
----
ante up.
I'm horrible... I saw the new episode and thought of a story and before I knew it I'd written seven pages of a one shot story... it's a horribly cliche story and a terrible read... especially when I should be working on PH. ::sighs:: I'll try and get it out of my system and back on 29...
ReplyDeleteYou were inspired to write... and that makes you horrible?
ReplyDeletePff, I skipped out on Christmas gifts and gift art to sketch scenes from Ch. 28. That must make me horrible, too! *hoofbump!*
@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteI skipped out on painting these figures I'm making and wen't to the pub instead, then came back to try and paint Fluttershy's cutie mark (Didn't end well, gave up and came back later) so what does that make me?
And somber, you got some inspiration and ran with it. Isn't that a good thing?
Chapter 28. Wow, that was excellent. If this is what you consider bad writing, something you're proud of would probably melt brains. Prof. Zodiac is a fascinating new character, strong/assertive Glory was wonderful to see, and both she and Blackjack are really becoming more mature (maturity being relative in BJ's case, of course). Shutting up the Goddess by shoving her gun in Lacunae's mouth? Didn't see that one coming. Oh, and Aquarius and Capricorn are adorable. :3
ReplyDeleteHave some nitpicky notes.
Chapter 9
Capturing me alive would double that amount, presumably so that Deus could take his time torturing and violating my anus.
- Personal preference here, but I think this sentence would be better off with a 'me' after 'torturing'. If only because in the given context, torture and violation are basically the same thing.
- The word 'crusaders' shows up both capitalised and uncapitalised throughout the first third or so of the chapter.
We’d found the academy under ‘lock down’.
- Lockdown. Shows up again in Dean Hardy's dialogue.
If they found an armory here, well then that’d just show how hardcore Cheerilee made education prior to the bombs going off.
- Consider removing or punctuating 'well'?
It lay right beside rail lines stretching to the southwest, towards Fllydelphia.
- Fillydelphia.
There wasn’t the slightest bit of cover to use to approach from the ground, and
- Sentence just ends. drop a '...' or '-' after the 'and', or merge with the next paragraph?
“Where are they going?” I asked, trying to see but the angle was bad.
- 'trying to see but the angle was bad' seems clumsy. Punctuate/rearrange?
Sending them to Stockyard was hardly a sure bet, and sending them anywhere would be making them bait for raiders or more slavers.
- Sending them anywhere else?
Then a long thin rifle barrel appeared from thin air, pressing right against my forehead [...] No response as that rifle just pressed right underneath my horn.
- Remove one of the 'right's?
certainly put the nice and simply plan behind determining just what was going on.
- Simple.
I put my rump in gear as I raced across the scrub land
- Scrubland.
I laughed like a maniac; anything to keep its attention on me and off the fallen pony.
- What fallen pony? No mention of Tumbleweed being/going down before this.
suddenly a cone of light from one of the towers on the fence lit up and washed us in its harsh yellow glare.
- A cone of light lit up? Seems meh.
A bullet packed off the nearby rocks.
- Pinged? Ricocheted?
A few minutes later I settled in around the table
- At the table?
Course, unarmed and broke
- 'Course.
Cause it was work.
- 'Cause.
and signed up with the Keepers for a spell in Megamart.
ReplyDelete- Finders?
She’d been able to get the buildings power from a buried still-active subterranean powerline.
- Buried/Subterranean are essentially the same. Cut one?
Poor jackass is so hooked to Dash he’s trying to get a buzz from huffing brahmin shit.
- Hooked on Dash.
The interior just inside the door was a meeting room with two bored guards
- the interior just inside? Seems redundant. Cut 'The interior'?
P-21 and glory went to work looting anything potentially valuable
- Lowercase 'G' on Glory.
Terminal light shown through an open door as a pony frantically typed on a terminal.
- Green light?
“Do I want to know?” I asked as tied the carbines together
- As I tied/I asked, tying?
young ponies, many who didn’t even have their cutie marks were running up and down the belt, pulled the brightly-colored gemstones from the gravel.
- Comma after 'cutie marks'? Change 'pulled' to 'pulling'.
- During the fight in the mine, BJ refers to Gorgon as both 'he' and 'it' interchangably. Check for consistency?
my eyes picking out Gorgon and Glory’s shapes as they flew in around the jagged dragonbones heaped in the center.
- In and around? Dragon bones.
Lancer, please tell me you can shoot it in the eye, I thought as it took to the air once again.
- Inverted commas for BJ's thought-dialogue?
- Gorgon's death scene. OW. Monster or not, that's just harsh. Grimdark indeed.
His scream was muted by the grinding roar beneath us as his long snake like tail was caught in the grinding teeth of the rock crusher.
- 'Grinding' twice (and again a couple of sentences later). 'snake-like tail'?
I kept imagining a great big red button marked ‘Emergency shut off’.
- Shutoff.
P-21 restrained from using explosives.
- Refrained/restrained himself.
His shot between my shoulder blades slammed me into the ground, knocking the wind from my legs and numbing my entire lower body.
- Wind from my lungs?
@Somber
ReplyDeleteIf "out of my system" means published on EqD, then please do!
Beep. This is your 100 comments till 5000 warning. Beep.
ReplyDeleteWoohoo /Fluttershy
99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around...
ReplyDeleteFuck, I lost my email subscription to this and now I'm three or four hundred posts behind. erg...
ReplyDeleteWhatever. I'll read every one from here on.
Three things I noticed in particular about this chapter that stood out to me.
ReplyDeleteThe first is one small thing in P-21's interview that makes a catastrophic impression: Without any provocation whatsoever, he uses the word 'love' in reference to BJ.
The second is Trottenhiemer. Heading Starfall and Horizons. This is something that cannot be ignored. He just went from minor importance to possibly one of the most important passing-mentioned characters in the story. The fact that BJ can unlock the silver bullets now also has much deeper meaning. If the project that spawned Folly was halted before it could be finished, then likely only a select few would be able to do so... and in fact the only one we know for certain can do so besides BJ is Trottenhiemer himself.
Lastly, the fact that Professor Zodiac tells BJ she can unlock Project Steelpony directly carries a grave implication: whatever it was that BJ activated in the tunnels, in my mind it's pretty much confirmed that it's related to one of the projects.
So yeah... that's what stood out to me.
@Umbra
ReplyDeleteP-21 definitely protested too much in answering a question that wasn't asked right there.
P-21 has got to be the most confused and conflicted pony to have ever lived.
Clean house for Christmas visitors, or write commentary for 28? Obvious choice is obvious.
ReplyDeleteChapter 28:
Opening Quote, foreshadowing, or thanking the audience, or both? Either way, we love you too Somber.
Narration by Rampage... Reading that without knowing the context within the chapter, it threw up "Death Flags" like crazy. I mean, I know Rampage is going to end up dying (the only question about it is "how much?" ), but When a secondary character starts narrating in a story written in first pony perspective, it is just a bad sign.
Fortunately, that fear is alleviated once the interviews with the other characters show up, and when we finally find out what they are.
Ah, I know you have a way with fight scenes, Somber, but this has to be your best one yet. Okay, yes, I was laughing just a little when I called it a "fight scene"... But it really is, even if it's just a fight with words, and it was a particularly impressive start to the chapter.
And really Triage, spoons can be a perfectly devastating weapon (they also make a good battle cry). Hostages work too, and well, considering they were in the middle of the Zodiac base, it's a good thing the situation resolved as peacefully as it did.
So, Aries is still alive, that's oddly comforting...
I don't know if I was expecting Blackjack to lie about Gemini and Taurus, but either way, I'm glad Sagittarius took it as well as he did.
"How can you use fillies and colts to collect bounties?" - Well, easy... as Sagittarius says, if they're willing and able, kids make great agents, specifically because they're so easily underestimated.
Planetariums make awesome bases... I absolutely loved the planetarium in Fallout 3. Enough that I made a specific save file there so I could go back and look at the stars whenever I wanted to.
Okay, awesome bases unless you're terrified of machines... Poor Scotch...
Blackjack's reaction to the floating head projection is great.
"Your bill" - My Little Hologram, Extortion is Magic?
P-21 and Rampage's reactions to Blackjack's "secret" information really surprised me, they took it a lot worse than I expected... the Goddess' and Scotch's were quite reasonable though.
GLORY! Not just merely back, but being pure awesome right when Blackjack needs it most. (And Rampage being adorable about the caps.)
The recording by Scotch is painful and adorable...
"Celestia was always open and honest." - I know this is an alternate universe, but this is Trollestia we're talking about here. Of course, being alive for 220 years does tend to make one delusional at times.
"Lacunar had walked off, still talking to herself in the plural and apparently very put out with Goldenblood; I wondered if she knew I could hear her faint telepathic babble." - An interesting line that, on its own, just seems like the Goddess is flustered enough that her thoughts are projecting when she doesn't mean them to. However, combined with the dream Blackjack has later, it does seem to hint that some kind of connection may have formed between the two of them after Blackjack brought Lacunae back last chapter.
Ah, Blackjack and Glory on the roof... All the way from "How are you feeling?" to "I was going to die, but at least I wouldn't be dying alone." it is one magnificently, horribly tragic scene. I'll have to leave it at that, otherwise I won't stop crying and it'll take even longer to finish my commentary.
ReplyDeleteInformation about the VC is interesting, especially to think that it has considerable public support.
The history stuff about Professor/Silver Stripe is all very interesting too, but I'm not sure there's much I can comment on about it (I assure you, Somber, this is not to say it's bad, or unnecessary, simply I don't have anything worth saying).
The description of the balefire bomb strike was particularly nice though.
Again, poor Scotch...
More Glory being awesome, about the smoking (it is amusing just how many characters in Fallout smoke, you'd think they'd be a little more worried about cancer, or maybe it should be that they're less concerned about it...)
And here's the big controversy point of the chapter (and probably the next few), memory removal. I'm probably the worst person to talk about it though because... I actually do it. Sometimes I do wonder about the half or more of my life that is just a giant white blur - but at the same time, there was nothing really good that was so important to keep... I still have the only things that really matter to me...
I can understand where Rampage is coming from, but I would have made the same decision Blackjack did... or maybe taken away even more, because I'm a terrible pony...
P-21 has been taking things poorly since Blackjack told Scotch he was her father, but honestly I was a little surprised he didn't have a bigger reaction to Scotch's memory being altered.
"Why was I defending him? Deus had been a monster... but... did he really deserve all that for one mistake?" - I know what Blackjack means, I find myself surprised at just how sympathetic I am towards Deus... Darn Somber and your sympathetic characters.
"Then leave this place." - But Vader, Blackjack must confront Vader! *gets stabbed*
Blackjack's view of the Stable Dweller is kinda cute in a way, but honestly does quite sound a bit like author projection (you may not have perfect mechanics, Somber, but good writing is more than just that, and you've got the parts of writing that do matter).
"What Would Security Do?" - Take a bath. Blackjack has her priorities straight.
ReplyDelete"I blinked at a pony...thing peeking at me from the other side of the tub. It was half pony, but the other half looked like... like an eel or snake or fish... thing!" - SEAAAAAAAPONIIIIIIEEES!
Oh sweet creamery lunar butter - why are Capri and Pisces so absolutely adorable?!
"Do I still have my eyebrows?" "What are eyebrows?"
Their history though is just so, so horribly sad... I'm so glad that Professor Zodiac found them, poor Pisces... I want to hug her too...
It's so great they can still help the Zodiacs though - how perfect to have a sunken battleship nearby to salvage.
"If it wasn't for stupid reality, we could have chocolate milk rain and cotton candy clouds." - So so adorable, Blackjack too, with her rivers of Wild Pegasus.
How can you say no to them asking you for help, Blackjack?
I have to say, that's definitely a fantastic use of the killing joke (not to mention quite the surprise of not just one sea pony, but two - very surprising for silly ponies like me who don't look carefully at zodiac signs to know that Capricorn is sometimes just a goat and sometimes a "sea goat" ). Makes me wonder just what the killing joke would do to Blackjack if she ever ran into some (or any of her companions for that matter).
The Goddess answering and not Lacunae, interesting. Lends credence to the Zodiac base being free of enervation - and that such places follow the former 6 heroes.
This chapter is so great for GloryJack - even though the greater portion of their scenes together are horribly tragic.
"And like the rain in Hoofington, tears would come. But eventually the rain would end." - Yep, definitely cried through that scene...
Blackjack jamming her gun into the Goddess'mouth was awesome crazy-Blackjack. Her talk with Lacunae isn't anything new, but it's still touching in its own way. However, Lacunae saying, "Oh, that is simple. I would have teleported behind you, raised my shield, killed you with my magic, torn the PipBuck from your limb, and returned to Maripony. Of course, I promise you that I'd feel absolutely terrible about it afterwards." is probably far more funny to me than it should have been.
Rampage's breakdown over Scotch was pretty painful to read...
The descriptions of Blackjack's companions while she's addressing what she plans to do next is beautifully handled too, especially for Rampage.
More incredibly moving GloryJack from Glory's interview... Incredibly... And Blackjack falling asleep to the sound of Glory's heartbeat...
"I hated being alone. But I hated my friends being hurt by me even more." - I know exactly how this feels...
I mentioned it earlier, but I do believe that this dream indicates some kind of connection between Blackjack and Lacunae. And well, that aside, the dream itself is incredibly creepy. I think what makes it most creepy is that's exactly how I played Fallout 3... And that the soldiers think it's a zebra sniper, when it's one of their own.
If it is a memory remnant Blackjack is picking up from Lacunae, then there is a possibility it was Psalm. Guess Blackjack really needs to ask Lacunae about it, instead of the Professor.
Yeah, Goldy... not helping me trust you at all here, killing a pony with the same name as my OC, heh.
So Blackjack is going to help the Professor if she can, that's really sweet - and new places to explore on her way, double sweet.
ReplyDeleteAnd we learn what all the messages through the chapter have been, the Professor wanting to interview Blackjack and her companions. There has to be more to the recordings, I wonder when they'll ever come back up. I can think of at least one particular occasion that I hope never happens...
And of course, Blackjack's interview - Blackjack is so adorable... I would really like if she could get a nice safe place to live with Glory and a kid, to have weekly poker night with her friends too...
More Glory being awesome, guilt-tripping Leo out of his gun.
After so long, Rampage has finally parted ways... Back when she first joined the team, I really didn't think she'd be around this long even, and I didn't think I'd grow so attached to her... It's going to make dealing with the gangs that much harder, but maybe dealing with the Steel Rangers just a tiny bit easier... That's what I'll hope anyways, for something good to come of this. I hope Rampage comes back soon.
It really was another fantastic chapter, Somber. I'll be looking forward to 29, when you get to it.
Btw, loved this chapter. Glad they got a respite.
ReplyDeleteI really wish I could be more specific, but every time I try I draw a huge blank. There's just so much activity and information built into this chapter it's hard enough to just sit down and catalogue.
I really liked it, though, as little as that helps the writing process.
Also.
ReplyDelete"But what I’d really like is a nice place to live with Glory, a kid of my own, in a safe place, with a weekly poker night with my friends. I’m pretty sure that’s all I need."
This is so terribly poignant it hurts. Nevermind the fact that she basically wants to be a fat, lazy Western Sheriff stereotype... the fact that her long-term plan is settling down /with/ Glory really got to me. *hugs BJ* And that the priority is: Glory-kid-home-friends (psst, hurry and adopt Scotch. >.>)
@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteThis makes me realize that the whole Caprice thing aside, BJ probably would have been somewhat happy if she /had/ taken over Flank. Imagine, her sitting around all day, policing an entire post-apocalyptic city.
She would have a field day.
In fact, a town's springing up around Chapel, isn't it? I can see her settling down and becoming Chapel Security. Keep /all/ the foals safe.
Somber, you silly pony!
ReplyDeleteChapter 28 may not live up quality-wise to the trip through the tunnels. Possibly nothing ever will, as nothing in the past ever did. But it's a very good work. Some real character development. A sorely needed breather. A variety against the breathless run so far.
It's like we'd been constantly fed cakes, candy and desserts, and now we're given a normal, solid meal. MUCH needed and expertly made.
Thank you, and - excellent work.
@Umbra
ReplyDeletePoor P21...
Love is a bitch. It does not listen to reason. Nor to other feelings, like righteous hate.
And he even doesn't have any hots for her. A true, pure, platonic love. The worst bitch of them all.
You guys are all so extra amazing and awesome. Yesterday... sucked. Yesterday sucked so bad where basically I was given the 'you suck' speech four or five times. I got to listen to my aunt try and convince mom to kick me out. I got the 'you are a leech' speech. I would have been very... very... very happy to have eaten a bullet right then and there.
ReplyDeleteThis is why someponies don't own guns. Incidentally, not owning a gun makes me a pansy according to my uncle. So after all that lovely verbal abuse, heaped on with how Obama is a communist muslim kenyan, I did not finish last night in a good frame of mind.
Your comment help more that I can ever say. Not just with the story. They help me. Like this morning... reading your comments help me reopen that word doc and keep pounding away. Anyway, eleven pages in to 29. Lets see what I can get done today...
And thank you again. P.S. can you E-mail me Snipehamster? I know you did once but I think I deleted it.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've e-mailed you. I sent a small donation through Paypal but apart from that I've only dropped comments in the thread here. If you'd like me to drop you a mail though, that's fine. What's the address?
[email protected] and yeah that was the email I was refering too.
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDeleteSomber wrote something. And called it horrible. Horrible! You know what this means? This manuscript could revolutionize literature itself! It must be published, no matter the cost. If I don't make it back, tell my cat... well, no, they wouldn't care. Just feed them or something.
@Umbra
I was also suspicious at P-21 using that word. If I had to guess now, I'd say it probably refers to bewilderment at Glory's feelings, rather than anything regarding his own, but it remains an oddity. Or perhaps more likely it refers to a familial, non-romantic sort of love; he does not like Blackjack because she's an idiot and a murderer and a rapist and a reminder of everything that was fucked up about his life before, but he cannot help but love her in the sense that he cares about what happens to her regardless of any sort of reason, wants to remain with her and help in her quest despite it keeping him from Priest and likely getting him killed, etc. They're the best of friends and he hates it.
Oh yes. Trottenheimer is not nearly as simple as he seemed. Though the note she found inside one of the Bullet cases implies that one of the Ministry Mares could open it, or at least that they expected Dash to be able to and got a note in there somehow.
IIRC, EC-1101 was supposed to be able to unlock pretty much anything the government did in Hoofington: power grid, communications networks if intact, defenses of major facilities, megaspell silos, etc. The Projects were included in that, but not the original focus; EC-1101 was supposed to make its bearer the closest thing to a new god-princess possible without severe mutation by letting them control the entire city. It's all but confirmed that the physical presence of the cyberdaemon was the result of an unused come-to-life megaspell, working at 5% of its original capacity, under to command of some unknown intelligence; whether that intelligence is the result of a Project or merely some side effect of the Eater of Souls and/or the Enervation is still entirely unknown.
WavemasterRyx
...you're right. At the time I didn't think about it much, but it seems kinda unlikely that the Goddess would just be broadcasting that conversation into the minds of everypony nearby. And in the tunnels, Blackjack could hear the screams when nopony but her and Lacunae mentioned them. Combine that with Psalm's dream later on, and it's pretty clear that BJ is developing psionics, if only to connect to Lacunae.
The lack of Enervation in the Zodiac base is significant, but unfortunately it supports all three major theories pretty much equally. Maybe as you suggested the clear zones follow the heroes of old. Maybe it's the Harmony between ponies, with the collegiate and the Professor and all the bounty hunters all working together to save lives and support each other as one big family. Or maybe the Prof was just wandering about, found a place with no enervation, and decided to set up shop there. We need a larger sample size, and some better variations between them.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteAh, the 'you suck' speech. I would expect it to start losing impact after the third or fourth iteration, but my brain chemistry is borked in a completely different way from yours. Hmm. Maybe try counting how many times each individual element has been mindlessly repeated across the various speeches? Or identifying the most appropriate Trope for every line? I think the important thing is probably disconnecting the words that are being said from your actual life. And remembering to consider the source: if they think that Obama is a communist muslim kenyan and they think that you're a worthless drain on humanity doomed to an eternity of hellfire, why is the second statement any more valid than the first?
Giggle at the Ghosty. Though not literally, at least when you're in the same room with them. That would probably make things worse.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteIn regards to your family Somber, I could go on and on about how much I pity people like that, but I don't think it would be appropriate on this blog.
*hugs tight*
They sound like they'd be happy to live in a place like Stable 99. Just listen to the Overmare, don't think about it...
@ O. Hinds
ReplyDeleteSorry I didn't mean to offend you guys, I'm just really nitpicky with grammar and tend to get a little snarky about it sometimes =(
I keep seeing the same issue with 'besides' coming up when it should just be 'beside'. As for other errors, everyone else seems to have pointed out most of the ones I've seen already.
@ Somber
Though you'll probably be full of self-doubt you write amazing stories. I wish I had half the creativity you have with my own writing, but unfortunately my stories aren't taking off very well and I'm finding myself stuck in constant writers block.
And I'm sure Kkat will love what you've done with the world she created and will have only praises for your work.
So just keep pumping out that PH and do your best ^_^
Reading notes, Ch. 28.
ReplyDelete"With a battle cry, I snatched an eating utensil from the table in my teeth and lunged towards the bow-wielding green unicorn. … "And take that spoon out of your mouth!"
Bwahaha! Blackjack being Blackjack, folks. But then she srsed.
"…and a soft pink unicorn mare, presumably Virgo … looked the same age as Scotch!"
For the sake of clarity, it might be better to say "filly" instead of "mare".
"She’s a Zodiac because her father’s a Zodiac. … Sorta…"
Hee! I'm assuming her father is Ophiuchus, then.
"I thought I could see a telltale stealth ripple next to one of them. … The lights suddenly dimmed, and the massive machine in the center lit up and slowly rose into the air."
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MARE BEHIND THE CURTAIN! …of course, Zodiac also might be playing Karan S'jet in that tube and the stealth cloak is Lancer. Either way.
"The stars moving, slowly, then flying off the ceiling and drawing together into an immense glowing unicorn head floating in the air above the central machine and staring down at us!"
Called it. :p Also, I can't help but think you a verb out somewhere here, and all the "ing" words in a row are a little… repetitive.
"I looked from one to the next, my head spinning. "Well… I… I must have told you! I mean… didn’t I? … I mean… I’ve told you about Goldenblood. The O.I.A.?"
Hee! And thus an oversight becomes a hilarious lampshading. Well done. :D
"Then a clear, wonderful voice shouted over the babble. "Blackjack doesn’t owe you anything!"
… <3
"I never expected Lacunae to be the angry one. "That… that fiend. That plotter!"
Huh. I wonder if it's the Twilight part that's feeling that way.
"They really seemed to believe Luna was their friend. I doubt that the Princess ever had a real friend."
I'm going to chalk this one up to a cynical mare projecting her cynicism onto everyone else. I can't believe that about Luna.
"Dusk may be an infuriating mare who tried to kill me, but she said that anypony who’d do what you did after the stable shouldn’t be touched with a ten foot cloud… unless she did what you did when you found out how hurt I was."
Okay, it took me a minute to parse that one out. ._.; So in other words, Glory shouldn't hook up with somepony who would run off to go kill herself, unless said mare would also walk into enemy territory to drag Dusk back to help Glory?
"white unicorn mare with gray zebra-like stripes on her legs and mane…"
Legs? That's… unusual…
"…halfblood…"
Ohhh. A zorse, then. (Well, zony. Zunicorn? Whatever.) I think that I'm picking up on one of Goldenblood's favorite tricks. He exploits his condition to get away with being blunt and abrasive, and he uses that bluntness to 'nudge' people. He calls a spade a spade and a little more, so to speak. By slightly overstating a negative perception, he subtly pushes them toward a desired reaction.
"Your mother is the aunt of a ministry mare."
Woah! Huh… okay… so given that her mother must be a unicorn, I guess that would be the sister of Crescent, Star Sparkle, or one of Rarity's parents…
"Directly in front of us was a large pink building…I wondered if the architect had intended it to kinda resemble a--"
A what? A WHAT?!
"I wasn’t just in charge of Project Steelpony… I was also a client."
Okay, didn't see that coming. This suggests, though, that Deus' pain meant he was starting to break down. I wonder.
"I suspected that at this rate they were going to name a wing of this place ‘The Blackjack and Co. Trauma Wing’. Maybe two wings."
Nope, definitely just one wing. }:)
…
Kick kick kick.
"The striped pony took in a deep breath. "Our memories make us who we are."
ReplyDeleteYeah, I guess Rampage would have some very definite ideas about the value of memory.
"He shuffled his cards and dealt a three of hearts, a four of hearts, a five of hearts, a six of clubs, and an eight of hearts."
Back to normal cards, Dealer? No more weirdass tarot symbolism?
"You sound like Applejack."
Good, at least one of us does.
"I blinked at a pony… thing peeking at me from the other side of the tub."
Coffee all over my screen! Shoobedoo!
"It’s funny, when you think about it. Like me catching the killer only to become a killer myself. … I killed her! I killed her!"
Do go on..?
"Let’s just that say there’s a reason everypony stays away from Black Pony Mountain."
Which means we'll eventually be swinging by.
"~ ~ ~"
That's a new seperator…
"Then I floated a rifle out in front of me."
Wait, floated? Not a zebra?
"No forgiveness any more. No absolution."
Oh, hell. Psalm. I guess that explains the ghost foals in her chapel.
"Flash industries?"
Ahh. Thus "Filly Flasher". Makes sense. Also, Industries should be capitalized.
"Crap… can I do this again?"
Saved for posterity. :D
"Lacunae… trotted forth in her black dress. No gun, but we’d find some way to remedy that. … Her purple eyes stared down at me coldly, but then shifted and softened as she smiled."
Hopefully a Unique remedy. ^_^ By the way, I want to add that I really appreciate that you don't do the "switching voices" thing when Lac is being possessed by the Goddess. It's all in her attitude and tone, which is a much more subtle and satisfying way to indicate it.
This comment thread is almost OVER FIVE THOUSAAAAAAAAND--!
ReplyDelete@Carto:
ReplyDelete""Let’s just that say there’s a reason everypony stays away from Black Pony Mountain."
Which means we'll eventually be swinging by."
If the faction leaders of Hoofington were smart, they would track down BJ and go: "We never go near Megamart! It's terrible and dangerous! And we'd certainly never try shootign everypony inside or fighting the giant gun in it. Nope." XD
(Also, whee, new full-color picture going well!)
@Somber
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that relatives think it's their right and mission in life to make you completely miserable...
I can't say the response I'd really like to, so I'll just say this instead.
Somber, if it ever comes down to it and you do get kicked out PLEASE don't kill yourself. Go to a library or something and email me, I'll get you my phone number and we'll figure out a way to get you down here. Arizona may not be a great place, but we've got a roof over our heads, and my mom would be more than willing to take you in until you can get back on your feet.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDeleteOh Somber... I wish I could do more than give you e-hugs. Family can be hard some times, I know. But just because you're related doesn't give them the right to treat you badly, and it doesn't mean that you have to listen to them, or that they're right about... well, about anything, really.
For what it's worth, I told you I would like Chapter 28, and I did. BJ and co need the downtime. The interviews with each character were a nice touch, although more direct interaction between them would be good.
Assertive Glory is a welcome change, and Prof. Zodiac is an awesome character. Very Mr. House/Jacob Hargreave, except less of a dick. Goldenblood being a murderer didn't surprise me in the least. Men who think they're in the right are often the most dangerous.
I like that you took the time to look at the ethics of erasing memories, and how each of the characters would realistically react to such a procedure. It sucks that Rampage is staying behind, but I assume she'll catch up with them later... I hope. Please?
@Somber
ReplyDeleteYeah, I just wanted to assure you that I am completely serious with what I said above (my mom's really upset about how your "family" is treating you).
On a more cheerful note, she's going to be trying to make a Rampage and a Blackjack doll in the next few weeks! If they don't end up looking like they crawled out of a vat of IMP, I'll post some pictures (also, if it turns out, some day I'd like to send you a Blackjack doll, Somber, if there's ever a chance you could have one).
http://asksecurity.tumblr.com/
ReplyDeleteAH HA HA HA HA HA YES! YES!! YYYYYEEEEESSSSS!!!!
Pardon me I'm slightly excited about this as blackjack is best (non-main show) pony.
@Sindri
ReplyDeleteYes, EC-1101 would let you control just about everything within Hoofington, but BJ was asked if she was sure she wanted to activate it. This tells me that there was some sort of explicit protection around whatever was there. And the only things we know of that have explicit protection preventing their activation are anything to do with the projects.
It could be nothing, but this is just what my head keeps telling me.
Oh, and about P-21, I didn't specifically mean romantic love, but it /is/ significant.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteI shouldn't talk about people like your relatives, Somber. Got too much hatred for that kinda person to speak politely. Or rationally. (I tried - it went poorly) But everypony else is right about them - and we're damn glad to be able to help you, too. :e-hugs: You rock.
[Now, all I've gotta do is write half as quickly and awesomely as you, and I'll be done with m'last class for the semester.]
@Derpmind
ReplyDeleteAs much as I support the sentiment, I believe that antagonizing family should generally be left until after one is no longer living with them. Otherwise one may find oneself suddenly in need of funds to pay rent on a new apartment.
For now, passive resistance, ignoring the [buy some apples!], and retreating to the internet whenever possible is probably the best option.
@Somber
I am very glad that you do not have access to weaponry. Because if I were to learn that someone had murdered my favorite author and a friend of mine, I would be very angry. And possibly not entirely rational.
Somber.. I like everyone else here can only really offer you support through here and paypal (I get paid again soon so if you need more cash, just let me know! I'm serious). I'm very sorry to hear that you have very closed minded and quite frankly stupid relatives. How people can still think like this in this day and age scare's the living crap out of me.
ReplyDeleteBut all I can really say has already been said very well by Derpmind. Stick up for yourself, show them that you don't suck. And if they still keep on coming with the speech's just try and walk away from them.
But please don't every take your life, you have a great and amazing support group here that is willing to do whatever we need to to help you through all this. Even if it's just sending you some money so you can get to Wavemaster's or somewhere else to feel safe till you get yourself back on your feet...
I feel terrible that I can't do ANYTHING really helpful being on the other side of the world. But if you ever need anything, I believe you have or had my email, so send me a email and I will see what I can do.
Your worth it all buddy, for all the hard work you put into this story, it's the least we can do for you.
Your loving fanboy
Nightmare Luna.
/Hugz
@Rhyel:
ReplyDeleteOh, no, I'm not offended at all, and I'm sorry if I gave you that impression; we welcome corrections.
Also, less than seventy comments until we get our own dedicated comment thread!
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDelete*Sigh* "MOM! SORRY GOTTA MISS CHRISTMAS! HAVE TO GO GIVE SOMBER A HUG AND PUNCH HIS RELATIVES IN THE FACE! ALSO DO YOU HAVE 500$ FOR THE PLANE TICKETS?"
But seriously if anyone lives near Sombers place could you go and give him a hug and a fruit basket from all of us.
Seriously why do the people who are talented but have issues have to have such crap situations happen to them?
Don't listen to these idiots. I know what it's like to live with judgmental conservatives and it will get you nowhere to listen to them.
Hate them, not you. What have you done to them to deserve such insults? And if you need to, set em straight, show them how many people care about you on here. Show them the paypal filled with donations that you got from you writing.
But please do not do anything stupid. It will only prove them right and you will loose all of your potential for which there is much.
*Sigh* You really deserve much more Somber. I wish I could give it to you.
In that case.. time to help it along with a WIP!
ReplyDeletehttp://shytalon.deviantart.com/art/Hoofington-Rain-WIP-274539840
I loved all the BJ/Glory in this chapter, not gonna lie. All the cuddling ponies I could ever want to draw. ^.^
Speaking of paypal, where was that link? I know I've seen it, but I can't find it right now.
ReplyDeleteIt's Somber's email: "[email protected]" as the recipient.
ReplyDeleteAnd mark it as a gift! ^.^
Listen, sorry to everyone about the last comment I posted. I don't think I should have said most of that. I deleted it now. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this chapter. It was a bit more happy then normal chapters. The spoon part made me smirk, that's our BJ. Blackjacks breakdown was touching as well and everything with her (and Glory) thinking, pondering of what to do with it all was something that made myself ponder a bit. (and their kiss made me "daaaw...", hard and mercilessly xP) Scotch having another scare for life and loosing control once again over bodily functions made me a bit sad, but in the other hand I didn't think it was to harsh, well ok, it was really harsh on the poor filly. But it didn't break the atmosphere of the chapter. Did BJ do the right thing? I don't know, but I'm willing to stick with Rampage that it could have made her stronger, but on the other hoof, it did rape her innocent mind quite severely.
ReplyDeleteAnd Gawd, the seapony part made me crack up. It literally made my day. (could only have been more awesome if they were the spa ponies) The part with the goddess however made me ponder, wasn't she cut off from the goddess? Or am I just remembering things?
And I really have to get a ladder and get out from that gutter, since the third thing to my mind when we were shown "the pod" was "Huh, must have been a while." (same goes for the seaponies. I think the part with Deus about the raping might have helped contribute to those thoughts.)
However, the zebra(?) scene was quite grim tbh, then again, I guess we shouldn't expect a fully "nice" chapter. Can't help but wonder if the foals would have been spare if she hadn't mentioned them. Ah well, I need more speculations like that... I think. Better then my alternative at least heh. And I'm actually surprised Goldenblood was a murderer as well. (unless she somehow survived, got knocked out and memory wiped) I thought he would work with memory extraction instead, seems more of his style.
And on a unrelated note: Man, I've been slow the past few days. It's taken me days to just read what I could've done in a day. I really have a problem with procrastination ^^' Lets see... I wrote 2 pages of rules, stared at best friends tombstone, read 6 fics, discussed rules for about 8 messages, and had one night of roleplaying. And that was a week for me... yupp, I totally have to become better at planning. Not to mention: Commenting hehe. (also, anyone else got a few "Like a boss" from Glory's actions this chapter? xP) And guys, regarding BJ's vision: I'm guessing it came from a tumor, caused by the time down in the memory mist, or something. It could've got infused there.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteIt would seem your extended family embody the traits which I generally hate America for...
As was stated earlier, are you going to take to heart statements from somebody who called Obama a 'communist muslim kenyan'??
But don't give up, Somber. You're worth far more than your extended family (or even yourself) believe.
I would go and hug you, but flights from NZ are a little expensive, and I'm broke until I start work in a few days..
Don't you give Somber too much love. An author with miserable life escapes into imagination and creates incredible worlds. A happy author's imagination grows lazy. Just keep him at the right balance of niceties and misery!
ReplyDeleteSigh. Well the torment is over, they're gone and hopefully I won't see them on their return trip back. And I know I should simply write them off, ignore them, and work. Unfortunately its sort of like living with four internet trolls for three days, and you can't ignore them and the mod refuses to do anything. Fortunately they went away.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. After two wasted days I'm only 15 pages in to 29. Hopefully I can pull off a miracle of productivity tomorrow. Otherwise folks might have to wait till thursday or friday.
Sorry.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteSomber, don't apologise. We can wait until Thursday or Friday. Don't kill yourself trying to force a chapter out, will you? That doesn't work for any of us.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteJust put it out whenever you can, the fact that you are getting it out within 2 weeks is amazing for me. Loved chapter 28 Btw
@Somber
ReplyDeleteLike I said, Somber - I'd count myself fortunate if I was half as productive as you on a bad day. You're not just productive, you're prolific - being able to get anything done in a hostile work environment is pretty impressive. Ain't got nothin' to apologize for. :) Glad they're out of your hair now, and I'm looking forward to 29, whenever it drops.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you made it through, and I really hope you won't have to put up with them again for a long time.
As long as you're okay that's what matters.
I'm all tingly with excitement after reading chapter 28! Way to go Somber!
ReplyDeleteDo you have the entire plot line already figured out and written down? It baffles me how anyone can keep so many little stories together without causing massive plot holes.
All glory to you good sir, and stay motivated and happy!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Random Blank
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Somber's screwy brain chemistry prevents him from getting to 'happy and lazy'. The most we can do is drag him from near-suicidal to merely miserable.
@The Posh Mothershuckler
ReplyDeleteDelete your post. He has actual, clinical depression. You might as well ask someone blind to just start seeing already, because it annoys you that they don't.
@The Posh Mothershuckler
ReplyDeleteThird'd (or possibly fourth'd or fifth'd by the time this goes up) on the you-ain't-got-the-know-how-on-this-issue train. Sorry, mate; your heart's in the right place, but shit's complicated and painful.
@swicked
ReplyDeleteNot that I intend for this to be a cathartic sob-fest for myself, but so do I. It's manageable. Doesn't ever go away, to be sure, but there are aspects of it that can be controlled. As opposed to blindness, which is crippling. Depression impairs; doesn't cripple. This isn't to say "what works for me will work for everyone," nor should this even be about me.
The impulse to self-deprecate dogs a depression sufferer constantly. It helps to take stock of your accomplishments. Project Horizons is an accomplishment to be proud of, not to be used as a bludgeon to demean the self with. Somber may have many problems in his life; I don't doubt them, nor do I question them, nor do I mock them. This story isn't among those problems. It's a feat.
I don't like seeing one of my inspirations using his magnum opus as fuel for the fires of depression. I have faith in Somber and I have faith in his story, and I made my remarks to convey such convictions.
So, in response to your request that I delete my comment, I must decline.
@The Posh Mothershuckler
ReplyDeleteEnough people, in the last 5000 or so posts, have already told him to just get over his depression. Enough people have said the same to him in real life. Usually a a couple of times a page, though they don't always come out and demand it of him.
I can only guess your assumption is that he just isn't trying hard enough?
Because you're wrong. He's stated before the medications he's on just don't do the job. Knowing how many people like this story, looking at its six star rating, being praised, getting donations so that he isn't kicked out of his house... it's not enough to make him just stop the panic and insecurity he sometimes feels.
@swicked
ReplyDeleteI'm not telling him to "get over" his depression. I'm telling him that his story's good enough that it shouldn't be another thing to weigh him down.
I appreciate your devotion to the man, but either I'm not communicating my intentions well enough, or I'm being misinterpreted. You think that I'm attacking him for something that he cannot control, and I'm not. I'm not so arrogant as to assume that depression is something that can just be shouted down. I wouldn't tell someone to just "get over" their depression. You can't. I can't. He can't. It's always there, telling you that you're not good enough, urging you to quit everything, undercutting every choice you make or action you take. Stopping you before you can even start, even. And it never goes away.
I understand the beast. If I knew how to kill it, I'd have done so years ago. It isn't so simple as taking pills and thinking happy thoughts. Of course I know that.
That said, I don't presume to understand exactly what he goes through, because I don't know him personally. I can only relate to Somber inasmuch as we're both depressed writers. But a person with that much bad going on has enough problems without using a positive as another means to cripple himself. This story is something to be proud of, not to hurt the self with.
That's the heart of what I'm trying to say. I really am sorry if I went at conveying that message too harshly. It isn't my intent to be insensitive.
@The Posh Mothershuckler
ReplyDeleteIntent to be insensitive or not, you were.
You know when my depression hits me worst? As soon as I've posted a piece that I've worked on, and ever bit of praise makes me wonder if they're lieing to me and every insult reminds me how right I was to never want to post again.
So, let me give you some brutally honest advice. Your comment is doing nothing to help.
I have no real devotion to him. I don't know him. I am simply tired of hearing it. I very nearly posted the exact same thing, at one point. Then a waited a while, someone else posted it, and Somber had to explain himself for the who-knows-how-many time.
ReplyDeleteHe has, from time to time, stated pride at having written something so many people like, or that he enjoys being a writer, a real writer that is doing so as a living, and otherwise recognizes the quality of his work.
He just, more often than not, uses this board to vent because the alternative could just shut him down, eating at him from the inside.
It's endless.
@swicked
ReplyDeleteIt is a cycle, isn't it?
My post came from a visceral reaction to seeing someone I respect in a vulnerable position. It isn't the first time something like that's happened. Moments like that tend to move me to action. I wanted to give back to someone who'd given me a substantial amount of free entertainment and inspiration. In retrospect, I was perhaps a bit heavy-handed. But I don't regret trying.
@WavemasterRyx
Your advice is noted. But, as you weren't the target of mine, you'll understand if I don't accept it fully.
@The Posh Mothershuckler
ReplyDeleteAnd the thread dies as it lived, with a debate regarding the sanity of the author.
Hey Somber, I know you've probably considered it, but have you investigated the idea of actually moving out?
ReplyDeleteNot necessarily by yourself, mind, but based on how much your rent is, you could easily get an ok apartment if you were willing to go in with a roommate and keep just about the same rate you're paying now.
Added to that, you might potentially find a better job market (either for your skillset, which might be tough, or for more bland ones that are equally effective at paying bills).
I mean, kudos to your mom for not listening to them trying to get you evicted (we hope!), but it still sounds like it's crushing your spirit. Maybe look into a change of scenery? I know a lot of folks here would be happy to offer what help they could, be it during a transitory period or afterwards when you need to get on your feet.
@The Posh Mothershuckler
ReplyDeleteJust trust that he regards this story as a significant positive influence on his life. Keep his negative comments about it in perspective. This is not something that needs to be debated anymore, even if it will be. Again. And again. And again.
@Drakmire
Although he's never explicitly said it, considering the statements he's made previously regarding what he needs per month, I think the $200 rent may also cover food. Plus utilities, of course, and internet. And who knows what else.
...but I'm admittedly unfamiliar with the rental market, especially where he lives, so that might still be a viable option.
@Sindri
ReplyDeleteWar never changes.
@swicked
ReplyDeleteActually, no, I remember him saying utilities were separate.
So yeah, forget that part.
@Hawkeye92
ReplyDeleteI'm badly split on whether the memory removal was the right thing to do. Ordinarily I would say no, but in this case they don't have months to undergo therapy. This might be the psychological equivalent of a healing potion. I don't know, though. It feels weird to me, and doubly so to do it without Scotch's explicit consent.
@Overlong Analysis Cobalt
I'm pretty sure Psalm is trying to tell BJ her story in the only way she can. I'm positive that the transmission is deliberate, anyway.
I've always been kind of curious about the "early days" surface survivors, so this segment is doubly cool for me.
@Sindri
I'm with you, regarding Goldenhate. He's mostly leeching off the genius of others. That said, if it turns out Fluttershy actually laid it down for him, I'm going to build a time machine, travel back to Littlehorn, and make sure he get fused to a tricycle.
I still don't know what to think about the guy, though. He wasn't exactly a mustache-twirling villain. Probably a patriot and a well-intentioned extremist, but I can't shake the feeling that his plans go so much deeper than that.
@MichaelJAW
"Subject"? I'm about ready to lay money that Project Horizons is a colony ship. The same intent as Gardens, but from a different angle. Project Starfall to develop the drive systems. Eternity to protect the ship and crew during the voyage. Chimera and Steelpony could easily be used to adapt a pony to an alien world, depending on whether they need to fuse with the local lifeforms or augment for harsh environments. I know it's just a wild theory at the moment, but I have the feeling that the moon rocket program was just the beginning. Proof of concept.
@Somber
BJ is a poor security pony. Daisy is a bad one. :)
@DotRook
ReplyDeleteOh dear. That's entirely TOO sensical.
Oh. My. God. What if... the entire Core IS Starship Horizons? The city was burned to the ground and rebuilt in a giant pit. No windows in the buildings. Shadowbolt Tower as the main bridge, and EC-1101 needed to turn it all on. If the sublevels were designed to lift out of that pit, who would notice once the streets were paved over?
Oh my god.
Hoofington rises!
@ The Posh Mothershuckler
ReplyDeleteYou're, like, at least the 20th to post something like that. So get in line. Right behind me, because I was probably the last one to post something almost exactly like that. The sentiment is good. Same one I had and still have. It just doesn't work that way. Wish it did, though.
Also, "I didn't tell him to just 'get over it'"... right... ok... "Butch up, son." Eeyup...
@ All those people who posted about the family:
Family plays with your mind. And I don't mean specific members do it intentionally (although some do). I mean family registers differently in your mind than someone else does. I, generally, do not give a flip what someone thinks about me. It's something I've had to develop over the years as a coping mechanism. But if a family members says something that I would completely ignore from someone else... it just gets in your head differently. Something tells you that this person shouldn't be thinking this thing about you, and that it must be your fault that they are thinking it.
It doesn't make sense. It doesn't have to. It just is. And it sucks.
So, Somber, good job on making it through that. I know it wasn't easy, and I know that no matter how hard you try that their words still do mean something, even if they shouldn't. Even if they're completely wrong and out of line (which they are/were).
On the bright side, your mother wasn't able to be convinced to kick you out. So you're making advancements in at least one field. :)
@silentcarto
ReplyDeleteColony ship, eh? That means the moon rocket is property of Chekhov, which seems to be a popular thing among our brony Fallout writers...
You may very well be right.
But as has been mentioned in the previous chapter, the projects are Blackjack's best chance of surviving, and I'd rather she have more options than being in agony like Deus, or being a 'monster' like Gorgon...
Well.. time will tell and the truth will out, I guess.
@silentcarto
ReplyDelete"That said, if it turns out Fluttershy actually laid it down for him, I'm going to build a time machine, travel back to Littlehorn, and make sure he get fused to a tricycle."
Why are you so awesome silentcarto? Ah I laughed so much.
@silentcarto
ReplyDelete"Hoofington rises!"
Taking that into account, I humbly submit to your theory.
We shall wait. And we shall see.
@RainbowYoshi
ReplyDeleteI chose my words poorly to convey the message that I wanted, and I apologize for it. Still thought that it was a message worth conveying in the first place.
I'm glad you agree with me on that, at least...
Kim Jong-il be dead, guys. Thought it bore mentionin'.
ReplyDeleteSpace, though. Space. Man, I'm not sure about the colony ship thing. On the one hand, it'd sort of make sense... but these projects were at least partially Goldenblood's babies, and he wanted to save Equestria, not... ship it out to space, right? Now, if it was referring to the space program in general, maybe some sort of attempt at directly communicating with the stars or harnessing more of that nasty space-stuff? That I could definitely get behind. Still, I've got no evidence saying that the colony ship thing is wrong, just gut instinct. It's a cool theory.
Hoofington Rises.
ReplyDeleteNow, how does this fit with my theory earlier that Blackjack is being put through a Training from Hell by unknown powers? 'Cause the things she's seen can't be normal, even for the Hoof. Heck, put her in the Everfree Forest and she'd consider it a vacation.
Even if it was to be a spaceship, it's not flight-worthy anymore. Not after Blackjack firing Trottenheimer's Folly within its hull.
ReplyDelete@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteYep, that's the one, damn good episode :)
@silentcarto "Nope, definitely just one wing. }:)"
I am so glad I'm not the only one that thought that XD
So I’ll post my thoughts way after everyone else. I’m making a bad habit of tardiness.
ReplyDeleteBrief thoughts on 28:
Some good laughs with the cutlery incident, and seaponies.
There were plenty of awesome scenes! Blackjack nearly being guilt tripped out of EC-1101. Blackjack and Rampage engaging in 'intense discussion' after Scotch had her memory wiped. P-21 and Blackjack in the rain.
Meeting Zodiac was cool. I like the cut of her jib.
It's good to have Glory back. Is it me or is she more assertive now?
More Goldenblood stuff, more or less confirming he's a nasty piece of work. Pretty callous.
The interview stuff is interesting if for nothing more than getting a better insight into the party members and what's driving them.
Wiping Scotch's memory might have been the best option left to Blackjack and co. But I get the feeling that its going to come back and bite them in the arse. Hell, everything else does. Also, I think Rampage makes a good point. As someone else in the comments has said, its unfortunate they don't have the luxury of getting proper help for her.
Overall, despite your reservations about the chapter I thought it was usual Somber brilliance. More so it was a well overdue break for the characters from getting shot up. (Except Rampage, but she has her own coping mechanism for that)
Ergh. I'm awful at reviews, I think I'll just stick to speculating things, from here on...
@Somber
ReplyDeleteIf there's something you shouldn't blame yourself for, it's others acts. Please at least don't do that for us? (did I word that right?)
Also, I could be completely wrong, but I suspect your medication might be making things worse. Since some medication against depression has a potential side effect of causing depression. I know the only I've taken had that, (among completely removing my appetite as well... still haven't gotten that back thou) just made me even more "meh". If you'd be willing to try, I'd say try quitting with the medication (taking the required withdrawal time) and like, turn to taking ~30 minute walks instead. Could help break a possible feeling of a looping cycle of repetitive actions. Would likely take around ~2 weeks before you'd feel much of a change however, but if you'd be willing to try, then please give it a go girl.
And just unrelated about the latest chapter: I just became worried that Scotch might later develop a schoolfilly crush on P-21. I dunno where the idea even came from but...
In other news, along with FoE, PH made it both into the most popular Dark fic, and most popular overall, in the EQD fanfiction poll.
ReplyDelete@DotRook
ReplyDeleteYep. According to 2.6% of bronies this is the best dark story, and according to 1.6% it's the best story overall. Making it roughly 1/10th as popular as Kkat's in both categories, and infinitely above the majority of literature.
@Arcane Scroll
ReplyDeleteI, too, am glad that I'm not the only bad person here. ^_^
@Sindri
ReplyDeleteI don't trust the statistics in these polls. There's no way any of it is very accurate at all, or that it was an accurate sampling. Besides, if you really want to compare FoE and PH, you would do a straight-up poll that asked people who have read both FoE and PH which one was their favorite.
Actually, here is some real proof of PH's popularity: This is the second fic on Equestria Daily that will exceed the 5,000 comment limit, and I don't think there is a third story that is even close. FoE reached 5,000 comments after Ch. 40, and PH is only at Ch.28 currently. Now granted, FoE has seen a massive explosion of comments in it's last five chapters and epilogue, but that's only because it was ending. I have no doubt in my mind that by the time PH is finished, there will be more than 10,000 comments. The math's a little iffy, but it's definitely true, especially if Somber does write 60+ chapters like he has said he probably will.
This is a happy comment. The universal laws of Awesome! require you to smile. :D
"Probably a patriot and a well-intentioned extremist,"
ReplyDeleteSee, my idea is that Goldie's more like... Cromwell or sommat. Someone who tried to amass as much resources as he could to change the status quo of the government. (I admit, this is an outsider's view of Cromwell, so apologies to any native who are more in the know than I.)
re: Horizons.
Moon base, not colony ship, is my guess. Just because the actual Project Horizons was the US examining the viability of a moon base.
(Also, I'm so headcanoning that in Woonastuck, Luna's exploring Project Horizons. >.>)
... Which would make BJ directly linked to Horizons after all, since her ancestor was carried as a surrogate by the first mare on the moon.
ReplyDeleteAnd thus Julep did derp. XD
Wowo. If any of us is right... Things are going to get really really epic . PH might end up dealing with the Threat From Above that the Enclave supposedly defended against. Or on the moon. Or, Ponies! In! Spppppace! Teehee.
ReplyDeleteRook: YES! Someone else who made a Muppets reference. XD
ReplyDelete... ... ... Time for a Pink Eyes crossover! Quick, get Puppy and her suit!
(Also, a vaccuum might be able to actually kill Rampage! XD)
Somber? 28 felt like it was exactly what the characters needed. A short break where they weren't getting shot at, where they could catch their collective breath and get ready to plow through the next massive pile of angry in their way. There was character development, temptation, choices made - Scotch's memory editing being a big one - and so on. I enjoyed it for what it was: The rollercoaster cart being pulled up the next big hill, getting us all ready for the next set of twists and turns.
ReplyDeleteAnd Mint Julep? I'm going to blame you and you alone for why my brain just went "Imagine how much it would suck to die in space, over and over again..."
Sigh.... well I was hoping to get to 30 pages today and brush it. I'm not. Sorry. I just couldn't focus and get the magics to happen. I also just had to throw in two more scenes to make things difficult.
ReplyDeleteSo we won't be brushing till Thursday. I'm sorry everypony. I'd really wanted to get the story to you, but I can't. Sorry.
Oh... I hadn't thought of that.
ReplyDelete:< Poor Rampage.
No biggie, Somber! I've had a busy day today, anyway (and with the latest chapters of FoE: Heroes and Raider and Kid coming out today, my docket has been full). Also, this gives me time to finish my art for 28 before 29 comes out!
ReplyDeleteAnd if they allowed FoE characters in the Draw-off, I'd so submit it there.
@Somber
ReplyDeletehttp://www.blastwave-comic.com
Awesome comic, isn't it?
The updates come at speed of about one page every 6 months. Last update, 31 July 2011, after half a year break, was a just a filler page. A new page could be expected sometime this winter.
Now if you slow down to THAT pace, you can start apologizing. Currently, you're totally awesome.
@Random Blank Yer kiddin' me - Blastwave still updates? =P No seriously I thought the guy writing it like... died, or became a radical anarchist or something.
ReplyDelete@Somber
No worries, mate. Thursday/Friday still leaves us time to read the chapter, comment and speculate furiously, and prepare for christmas (for those of us celebrating christmas). And if it drops Saturday night or Sunday... awesome christmas present!
]Also, to go with this space theme we're havin', shall we do a countdown to zero? If so, 9.]
@Somber
ReplyDeleteTake all the time you need.
@Mint Julep
Ponies on the moon? What a fascinating idea. I wonder if Sanguine will be up there with a ghoul kitty and giant frikken' laser?
Repeated death in a vacuum for Rampage? That's an unpleasant thought, and not too harsh to be implausible, considering what she's already been through.
@Overlong Analysis Cobalt
8! :D
Snafu Comics was one of the worst for a while, too, leaving the PPG threads hanging /forever/. Enough that I lost interest in it.
ReplyDelete@Snipe. Nope it'll be Goldie. That was his plan all along. To get one million caps...
(7)
@Snipehamster
ReplyDeleteDid someone say Ponies on the Moon?
Hey guys, this little blurb in Chapter 19 needs some patching up:
ReplyDeleteNothing on it, so wither the place was empty or there was a cloaked zebra hit squad in there.... or the damn PipBuck had been struck by lightning and I’d forgotten. Igh, why couldn’t I be a smart pony?
wither should be whether
Igh should be Ugh
Hope that helps ^_^
@Mint Julep
ReplyDeleteWell, it's kind of a Progress reference, now. :) I'll never forget that skit, though -- Pigs In Space was where I learned the word "impenetrable". :D
FOUR!
@Derpmind
ReplyDelete@Rhyel
C-c-c-combo breaker! Should we save the last post for Somber? :D
THREE!
Not even hard vaccuum, I don't think.
ReplyDeleteThe best she could probably hope for would be a state of deep, probably unconscious hibernation as the airless environment robbed her of oxygen to fuel her metabolic processes, but her talisman kept all her tissues on just the right side of dead.
Also, TWO.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteNo worries. I'd actually appreciate if it came a bit later. Got so much to do currently ^^'
And at least consider my suggestion, it has worked before on some I know.
@Mint: I just imagine the gore of ruptured Rampage to slowly form rings around the soul jar... eventually becoming like, a small red misty thing with organs and chunks of flesh floating around.
(also, comment post limit is ticking)
Head here for the new comment post:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/12/project-horizons-comments-thread-1.html