Friday, July 29, 2011

Story: Falcon

[Normal][Sad] Sad Luna! zomg

Author: GhostSoldier
Description: Princess Luna still struggles with her past as Nightmare Moon, and finds that
even when it feels like you're all alone, sometimes the truth of the matter can suprise you.
Falcon

Additional Tags: Sad, Heart Warming, Struggle, Touching

Fan Art

Source

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds interesting, I'll read it once I get a chance.

LoLZorZs said...

What happened with the hourly posts? Seth Derped again?

C. Theron Vulpin said...

This really is a wonderful, heartwarming little tale.

ZAquanimus said...

It was nice..
But it lacked editing.

New moons being a point of interest.

StorytellerSJK said...

Huh. How odd. I was reading the end of this excellent, excellent piece of My Little Pony fanfiction when suddenly, and without warning, droplets of water started dripping from my eyes. Puzzling. Hopefully nothing is wrong with me. :) Well done, sir. Very well done indeed.

Ditzy Derp said...

An excellent read. I didn't even noticed i cried a little.

Rainbow Crash said...

Sad Luna that doesn't feel sad for the sake of it is the best sad Luna.

Anonymous said...

Something in my eye, I swear!

Wierdplatformer said...

Fantastic!
While I was reading this, Super ponybeat- Luna started playing in my head. Coincidence? I think not.

I also have to ask, Did Luna just forget about Twilight? I mean, her name practically means night.

Sumec said...

Brilliant, I wanted to make something similar with Celestia regarding her old friends, but it seems you beat me to it with Luna!

Anonymous said...

It was nice. As ZAq said above, it needs some editing. LOTS of word duplication 'Oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh' constantly, a couple 'simply's that maybe should be cut down. Also, sight is spelled that way, not site. A site is a place, sight is what you see. Just some small things. It also seemed a bit, uhm, too heavy at times? Laying it on a bit thick, I mean. I know it's meant to be an emotional thing and all but too much drama bleeds into melodrama and then it looses its effectiveness. At least to me, anyway.

Overall, a VERY nice piece with some minor issues marring its surface. Debating on the star rating, probably ... yes, 4/5. Not perfect but very nice.

Justified said...

Sir, I must say, you have given us an awe inspiring tale to be told. While I did not pay too much attention to the mechanics and grammar, I did notice the depth of the main plot. I think you did well; you should be proud of yourself

Bryan said...

A nice little story there, I liked that the vestige of Nightmare Moon _feared_ Luna for a change and immediately fled when confronted by her.

There's just one niggling little question; why would ponies practice falconry, what are they hunting? Are they perhaps using carrothawks? :)

Darth Equus said...

Lovely story. A couple of punctuation errors here and there, but nothing that would detract from the narrative. Liked it.

Blue Crimson said...

Love the story and loves the title

Anonymous said...

I approve of this story

GhostSoldier said...

@ZAquanimus OF COURSE, the phases of the moon, how could I have overlooked something so simple! Thank you for catching that.

And a huge THANK YOU to everyone who commented :) I apologize for the lack of editing, this was written inbetween ten hour warehouse shifts and could certainly use some polish on one of my off days. I will see to it the story gets the attention it deserves just as soon as I am able.

Again, thank you everypony!

sotha said...

I enjoyed it quite a bit. A little rough around the edges, but once you have finished editing the story, it should shine like a gem.

And falconer Luna for fanon.

richfiles said...

This is officially one of my new most favorite Luna stories. It ranks up with Progress, Don't let the Sun Catch you Crying, Nightfall, Tabluna Rasa, and Frigid Winds and Burning Hearts.

Rather than being a long epic that still has yet to see a conclusion, This is a wonderful single sitting story. I appreciate that it was loaded on DA (DA, FiMFic, and FF work on my 3DS browser, but google docs is dead in the water on that machine). I like to find a story to preload on the browser of the 3DS and take it with me when I go places, or to work. It gives me something to do on my breaks.

This story had me tearing up like a slapped baby. It was so beautiful, and Luna both as and befriending a falconer is now canon in my mind.

I DEMAND ART!!! Drawfriends, Y U no do this yet!

Luna in falcon gauntlet is now best Luna

GhostSoldier said...

Since I have received a handful of requests for it, I figured, why not? Here's a drawing of Luna with a Falcon. Enjoy!

http://ghostsoldier.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d42ghbf

Redphienix said...

A beautiful piece for Luna, 5/5 for Preen (one of the best non-show characters I've read yet... probably unfair due to the lack of interest I often have in non-show characters but still)

A nice sad story about Luna with a happy ending, as she deserves. Too good :P

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