Sunday, August 14, 2011

Story: A Dark Sky (Update Complete!)

[Grimdark][Shipping][Adventure]

Author: MetalHooves
Description: A group of terrorists known as the Shadowbolts are confronted with old grudges, past loves, and even their own morals as they set out to destroy the Wonderbolts and anypony who gets in their way. Based on the Shadowbolts as drawn/characterized by YoorPorick
A Dark Sky Part 1
A Dark Sky Part 2
A Dark Sky Part 3
A Dark Sky Part 4 (New!)

Additional Tags: Long, Action, Anti-Heroes, Gritty, Vengeance

73 comments:

Anonymous said...

Usually Avoid grimdark but im going to have to read this.

Anonymous said...

I agree the picture is very convincing.

Tricky Step said...

The picture alone is intriguing enough to warrant a read through. Sounds like a great idea, I hope it reads like one too.

Anonymous said...

but...but...weren't the shadow bolts actually nightmare moon??

my world...

Anonymous said...

This is more a comment on the picture than the story, but the name "Blueball Blitz" conjures up a completely DIFFERENT sort of mental image than what I imagine was intended. I think that BlueSTREAK is more what the artist was going for there.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure the "Anti-Heroes" tag fits? It seems to me that "Villain Protagonists" would be better.

Anonymous said...

Metal Hooves, not a name I was expecting around here.

Considering reading.

~Scratch

Anonymous said...

Googledocs version please?

supervanman64 said...

I also am confused about this: I was pretty sure the Shadowbolts were just Nightmare Moon taking a form in order to get Rainbow away from the others in episode 1. :|

Anonymous said...

Story moves well away from the characters in the picture, pretty much turns it on its head.

Not yet sure what to make of that.

Nightmare Moon said...

AHAHAHAHA! YES! HE FINALLY BIT THE BULLET AND SUBMITTED IT!

And for those confused. You're staring at the answer. the story is based off Poor Yorick's OC Shadowbolts team.

*shades*

Deal with it |3

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of surprised at all the confusion surrounding the Shadowbolts here. This isn't the first story I've seen that's spun the 'Bolts off as their own discrete entities. I mean yes, in the show they were basically illusions/projections/constructs/what-have-you, but that's no reason some industrious equines couldn't go ahead and co-opt the name for themselves.

Anonymous said...

@supervanman64

The chars in the pic are sort of a story template featuring villainous pegasi taking up the group name Shadowbolts. The artists intended them as an inspiration for writers.

A rather neat Idea I think.

Anonymous said...

picture intrigues me, but please can we get a not-DA version?

Anonymous said...

Oh hell...

You know the guy who made that pic said to NEVER make a fanfic out of it or they would EAT you?

Good luck. But intriguing. Will read.

Anonymous said...

Metal hooves? the guy who writes humans having sex with ponies? no thank you.

Anonymous said...

This isn't one of his clopfics actually.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

Still a dude that defiles ponies like that... I think I'll avoid it.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous
Finally, somepony with some decency standards.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

Same goes for you anon. Maybe theres some hope

Anonymous said...

He's kind of like Ottanta or Megasweet, except with words. Really talented, but his content ranges from questionable to disturbing.

flashgen75 said...

@Anonymous

Actually, he said never ship them.

Asgard said...

It's REALLY good. It gets disturbing without being TOO graphic (Cupcakes breaks the too graphic barrier, this comes NOWHERE close to that level of violence) and the characters themselves are fleshed out and given heartbreaking backstories. The characters feel distinct and even the Mane characters they bring in are in character (As long as you disregard the fact he's made Dash and possibly AJ lesbians, though this falls into acceptable breach of character personality). To go from a really interesting pic to a well thought out story line is quite impressive. 5 stars.

Poonjab said...

Metal Hooves, not writing clopfics?!?! BLASPHEMY!

Crimson Valor said...

Hooray MetalHooves! Told you it would get in! :)

Crimson Valor said...

By the way, this IS a 5-star fic. It's beautifully written.

Anonymous said...

I'd read this if I didn't have to sign up for DA to do so.

Anonymous said...

metalhooves is my brony, sup

Nomeg Stylus said...

None of you can match the bond me and Metal Hooves share. -smooches-

KShrike said...

Ok, now I don't like this author's other work.
But I'm gonna give this guy the benefit of the doubt, and read it...

Wish me luck!

Anonymous said...

Am the only one getting linked to DeviantArt's sign up page?

Anonymous said...

Why the heck am I attracted to Nightshade, Starry, and Blitz? I bet they don't even /like/ humans.

Really, though, a great story and I LOVE the fanart. If I were still playing Champions/HERO Games I'd steal these guys in a heartbeat as villains.

I'm eagerly awaiting more!

~Ardashir

KShrike said...

So basically, Blueball Blitz is the Bellatrix Lestrange of this series. I suppose using that imagination makes her insanity and bloodlust bearable.

Dark... but well written. You have redeemed yourself, and may continue.

Anonymous said...

This is actually pretty damn good if I do say so myself. Give it a read guys, I think most people will be pleasantly surprised.

Anonymous said...

Badass fanfiction. Period.

Anonymous said...

I do not want to have to sign up to DA. Anyone want to mirror this?

dustykat said...

SO AWESOME!!! Alternate universe bassassery at it's finest. I eagerly await more of this story.

I read "Lobo" from DC comics also, so there goes your taste in comics *Laughs*

Anonymous said...

@supervanman64 I think this group called themselves the Shadow Bolts because of their hate to Wonder Bolts. So their like a dark image of Wonders Bolts.

Anonymous said...

Fun Fact: MetalHooves is 17 years old.

Anonymous said...

Could someone post this somewhere not on DA?

KShrike said...

Ok, that MetalHooves is 17 is actually creepy...

Ten Mihara said...

I have to say I'm impressed with this piece. In a stark contrast to the usually magical and whimsical goings on in Equestria, the Shadowbolts are... 'real'. Nitty gritty, down to earth, life sucks and you deal with it real. Rightfully deserving of the Grimdark tag, but also rightfully deserving of 5 stars.

WTBrony said...

Ooh I like this. It's dark and has a definite edge to it, but it's also believable. It stands to reason that their would be some dangerous ponies in Equestria, otherwise the guards wouldn't be necessary.

Only complaint was the fact that I snicker every time I see the name "Blueball"

Anonymous said...

A few have asked this question and i shall ask the same.

Is there a Googledocs version?

Stormchaser said...

Chapters 7-9 are out! :D

KShrike said...

A bunch more f-bombs being dropped.
I didn't like that.
However, I am still glad that 7-9 are out.

Marrock said...

After reading Poor Yorick's hypocritical rant about OCs and condemnation of the fandom I'm afraid I can't generate much interest in myself for this one.

Anonymous said...

To be fair Marrock, this fic is writen by Metalhooves and Poor Yoriks rant was against weird Luna fanon, not OCs or the fan base in general.

Anonymous said...

This anon would also like a googledocs version.

Anonymous said...

There should be a Google Docs version, would someone kindly get on it?

Pecan said...

That artwork reminds me of the Sly Cooper Series...

Anonymous said...

Blueball BLitz reminds me of that red rabbit Spaz from Jazz Jackrabbit. He went off the deep end after eating those predatory blue fish from the rabbit universe, otherwise unlike Blitz, Spaz is one of the good guys.

skolf said...

A very great piece of work.

Of course, as soon as i read rainbow dash call starry 'sexy'...

yeah.

Good job. Can't wait for the rest.

Anonymous said...

NEED MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE@!~!!!!

anzul said...

more!!!!!
this is great!!!

Anonymous said...

It's over already? I'll read the ending, THEY BETTER NOT DIE! Am i talking about the shadowbolts? Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts? Who knows!

Anonymous said...

aw man I loved blitz and nightshade oh well a great story and a decent ending

Marrock said...

@Anonymous Nope, still not interested.

ToonNinja said...

Good read, although I am going to allow myself some nitpicking. There was no real response to the fact that the Wonderbolts were all nearly blown up by a bunch of bloodthirsty criminals. They briefly mentioned reinforcements, but they obviously didn't arrive in time to prevent the attempted execution OR keep the Shadowbolts from escaping. You'd think the Royal Guard or somepony would've stepped in. Hell, what about the Shadowbolts' criminal empire? They turned their gang into a powerhouse in the Equestrian underground: what happens to it now?

Anonymous said...

Ending was pretty weak compared to the rest of the story; seemed rushed.

Also, I love how Dash abandons the Wonder Bolts to be murdered after 'getting her kill'.

Gypsy said...

I WANTED ALL OF THEM TO DIE!!! no fair

Anonymous said...

Ending was reealy transparent. "I did this. This is how I feel about it." But the terrible part about the ending was how Rainbow Dash suddenly abandons the Wonderbolts when they're under attack after killing just the one bad guy she had a grudge against. It doesn't get more weird or ooc than that. I reall like the rest of it though. I'd definitley read another fic by you again.

Anonymous said...

This is silly .
The shadowbolt were a part of NMM , they never existed.

LordOfTheWrongs said...

@Anonymous
Yeah, this. The place is under attack, tons of ponies are dead, it's on fire, and there's bombs going off... meh, let's go bury this one. Good luck, guys!

The whole of part 3 was really disjointed -- Blaze needed to be built up a lot more than she was, the relationship foreshadowed, SOMETHING. I feel like this needed three more chapters, at least one in between Dash meeting Blaze and them finally facing down the SBs, and the rest to bulk up all the fights.

The fights all resolved really fast and not very satisfyingly overall. Rain was too mustache-twirlingly evil to be credible, and I really wanted to get Spitfire's perspective on the race... did she actually cheat to win, or was that Night's misperception? Why did Stratus have a sudden change of heart? That whole situation needed... more.

You spent a lot of time building up your villains, but you killed them off without much fanfare. Blitz got the most screen time, and it was fine, but even that fight could have used some extension.

The ending... that was... bad. And I don't mean in the grimdark, "bad end" sense. Stratus and Star just walked off apparently unpunished, and while Charger's revenge was justified, he didn't get anything but "wah, I feel empty". And then Dash got the same ending, which felt really weird... she wasn't out for revenge, but to restore her own confidence and make sure Blitz couldn't hurt anyone else. I think I would have preferred to see her start crying on AJ's shoulder.

By the way, there's no such thing as a friendly kiss on the lips. I'd have liked to see that subplot resolved, what with AJ having had a week or so to work out her feelings.

A Terrible Person said...

Well, despite the the apparently distasteful nature of this author's writing in general, I read this one and quite enjoyed it. Perhaps the ending was a little bit rushed and unexplained, but doesn't that really just open the door for all sorts of interesting psychoanalysis and speculation?

...No, not really. I mean, it isn't bad, but an epilogue and/or extended ending that examined the motivations and thoughts of the survivors (the ones who died had pretty transparent motives, so they don't really need anything) is probably in order. According to the comments on DA, it looks like something like that might even become reality, so that's cool.

Mr.Cube said...

I loved blitz and nightshade, the ending was a bit bad, but man, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE, D:, Me=sad

RadicalEdward2 said...

For some reason the Shadowbolts me of the Turks from Final Fantasy VII

Lyriam said...

I liked a lot of elements to the story. The background of the villians, Blitz & Blaze as well as Strat's change of heart. There were things that didn't sit incredibly well with me, like how after Blitz died, Dash just went off with Blaze and called it good rather than seeing to what should have really bothered her, which was the entire reason the Shadowbolts were there in the first place, the Wonderbolts. I've been looking for something similar to this kind of story for a while, and I think you did a good job overall. Stratus ftw! :P

GaryGibbon said...

An epilogue is required, good sir.

thundercracker24 said...

it was good story if i do say so myself

Mattwo said...

@Anonymous

I met blueball blitz on SL, according to her headcanon, they are not the same shadowbolts...

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