Thursday, June 16, 2011

Story: A Walk in the Sun

[Sad] Lyra and Bonbon better be canon for season two!

Author: Melionos
Description: On a perfectly sunny day in Ponyville, a wintergreen unicorn visits an old friend.
A Walk in the Sun

Additional Tags: Short, Bittersweet

31 comments:

Munith said...

Very smoothly and flawlessly written.
You did a very nice job on not telling us who the main character is straight away, which only increases the touching effect the story has at the end.

5/5

Anonymous said...

they will never ve canon :(

Anonymous said...

Amazing! Loved the descriptiveness everywhere, and the ending was so sad, yet so amazing. :)

NinesTempest said...

Great exposition, paced perfectly, no names actually dropped which is perfect, and comes to a slow and well-done conclusion.

Kind of boring, for me anyway, but it does drum up enough emotions on it's own, so there's that.

Anonymous said...

Oh... oh my...

Manly tears just happened...

Such a touching little story.

NinesTempest said...

SETH

AUTHOR TAG SAYS SADDLESOAP OPERA

AUTHOR: MELIONOS

IS THAT SADDLESOAP

Narwhals' Bend said...

Lyra and Bon-Bon stories are the best, well, after TwiLuna and Twixie stories of course!

Anonymous said...

Girl-on-girl stuff is SICK.

Delta Pangaea said...

Gah, horseapples.

I'm not very emotive. I don't cry much, I just get quiet.

I'm not crying now, but I'm certainly teary.

*sniff*

No, I'm not crying... I'm not. Stop looking at me like that.

Crimson Valor said...

Want to read...

But first thing in the morning, just before work...? Bad idea...

Silver Mane said...

Confound these ponies, the drive me to manly tears.
That was a beautiful story, an instant favorite. Even though I knew what was going to happen before the end of the first page, it was still a hard-hitting scene. I think that I want to request this for the dramatic reading now.
Ex Mortem Vita.

PureZOOKS said...

I think that it was a very well written story with an interesting plot. However it made me confused for a bit that it was Lyra BonBon Octavia story, the author didn't say that it was Lyra, nor describe her other than "unicorn".
But aside from that, it's still a beautiful story and made me smile.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, it will never be canon.

If it was, all of the moral guardians would come out of their holes and protest how this show is "corrupting our children!!!11!"

Phoe said...

@NinesTempest

You have no idea how much trauma Saddlesoap has caused us when tagging sadfics. "Ok, time to write the tags. It's a three letter word so I'll just type it out." And then Blogger sees this and says to itself, "Why, I do believe that pony is attempting to type out Saddlesoap Opera's author tag! Auto complete to the rescue!" It's a tragedy and a travesty.

Anyway, it doesn't seem like I get to comment on stories very often anymore, so let me just say that I enjoyed this. It's melancholy and sweet and genuine, and I don't need my objectivity goggles to see that.

Geekthras said...

I feel a sudden urge to play some Debussey... La Filly aux Cutie de Lindt?

ShadowFox04 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Assume spoilers, though I tried not to be spoilery.

A nice little sad-fic. Till the end. A bit, I don't know, mundane way of loosing anypony but it's more realistic that way. A bit over the top in the whole 'ages of sadness' but I guess? Why the other pony was there, though ... I can see the first but the second? Unless it's a favor for a friend. I'd suggest telling everyone the color of the first pony, though maybe you were trying to hide her identity? If so, Seth and his tags/pictures ruined it. YOU RUINED IT! And why was she buried where she was? A few questions that kinda stuck out for me but they didn't need answering to make this a nice little sad-fic.

But the end, well. I had to have a lol. That end killed the sad for me. Sorry.

MrMaerta said...

*SPOILER ALERT* ONLY READ IF YOU'VE READ THE STORY!

I'm sorry I didn't quite understand the ending. Does this mean that Bon-Bon was killed during the Gala while pinkie pie sang the pony pokey? If not, please do tell.

Even though, great story!

Sunset Rose said...

It was a very beautiful short story and I enjoyed it. I must say I didn't quite understand the timing of it.

Markeith said...

@MrMaerta

More likely the Pony Pokey was Bon-Bon's favorite song or something like that.

Anonymous said...

Spoiled the story for me with the pic and the description. I knew what was going to happen before I got done reading the first page, in a story that apparently was going for a dramatic reveal.

NinesTempest said...

@Phoe
That sounds like one of the most painful experiences anyone has experience in recent times. Oh well.

Present Perfect said...

Agh, why so sad! Why did she need to die? ;_; I feel empty inside.

Saddlesoap said...

@Phoe

All is ashes! If only I had known my name would sow such discord - ALAS!

Seriously though...sorry, my bad. Sounds irritating. : /

Anonymous said...

Of course it won't be canon. It's junk like this that makes bronies look like pervs. Jeez.

TenchiFreak5 said...

@Anonymous

*raises eyebrow*






A good story. The use of descriptions rather than names for the entire thing was a nice stylistic choice that paid off in dividends at the ending. Perhaps a bit too short for its own good, but on the other hand perhaps it wasn't.

specter114 said...

After reading this I think I almost cried learning that one of my favorite characters died added to the picture was almost unbearable.

Now that we got that out of the way, very good job, easily a 10/10 or even an 11/10! You never know! You should really consider making one with Colgate(the pony, not the tooth paste) in it.

Pixelbit said...

Sure, I'm posting a bit late, but I'm just scrolling through the older stories.

Anyway, this story is wonderful. The absence of names gives it a nice solemn touch, and the story itself is tear-inducing (although I may just be saying that as a huge fan of Lyra, Bonbon, and Octavia.

Major props to Melionos for giving us a great way to spend a couple minutes!

Azarias said...

This was a good short story.

jasmin said...

This story made me cry... so bittersweet, so sad... The one thing that made it sadder was that I am a huge fan of Lyra x Bon-Bon...

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