Sunday, July 10, 2011

Story: Can't Start a Fyre Without a Spark (Update Part 3!)

[Sad] Sad Spitfire origin story time!

Author: MadFlavor
Description: The story of how everyone's favorite yellow Wonderbolt came to be.
Can't Start a Fyre Without a Spark Part 1
Can't Start a Fyre Without a Spark Part 2 
Can't Start a Fyre Without a Spark Part 3 (New!)

Additional Tags: Sadness, growing-up, life-changing

34 comments:

Dawn said...

So her mom dies... Then her dad? Pretty messed up... Her and rainbow dash would make a good team

doctor dapples said...

Needs a little bit of editing for spelling errors, but otherwise very good stuff. Looking forward to the rest of it.

ZAquanimus said...

Hmmm...

I wanna see how this pans out,
It's much too early to pass judgement on plot.

The writing however...

Well they get definite props on the opening line have "Luna's Moon.
I wonder why they spelt Spitfire's name the way they did, perhaps it is a point in the story. The narration feels solid, its not bad.

The font itself drives me a bit batty reading it. all the words seem to blur together x.x
though thats probly just me being silly.

Basharoonskis said...

That was a wonderful story, if only a little predictable. I like the interesting spelling of Spitfyre, seems more like an actual name, and the writing was pretty solid. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Truthseeker. said...

YES! It is up Mack! Now, you need to finish it just like I need to finish mine.

NinesTempest said...

Cliche but dang it's sad. Need to see another part to see how it ends.

Mac said...

@ZAquanimus Yea i'll get on to fixing that. i have bad eyesight and i do most of my typing at night so i have to make the font bigger. i'll keep that in mind next time. THANKS FOR READING

ConythePony said...

Why do the parents always die on the child's birthday?

Darkhawk1 said...

"...This gun's for hire... Even if we're just dancing in the dark."

Anonymous said...

Why is it "Luna's Moon" when at that time she was banished? Also, as far as i know, Spitfire is with "I"

Anonymous said...

@ConythePony Yeah thats very true

Naxts said...

So far, the story was solid, but kindda predictable. Like the moment Blaze see's the big storm, we already know whats going to happen and talking about his condition sealed it off.

But other then that, The story is great, the beginning made me feel warm and there certainly was a lot of drama in the end.
I'm very excited to see the next part. Don't leave me hanging bro!

kriss1989 said...

...this needs the Grimdark tag with the way it ended. That just goes past 'oh that's sad' into 'evil gods are conspiring against you' territory.

Drax said...

Damn dude, now I'm sad. That was very well written. I'd agree with Naxts that it was predictable, but these days everything is predictable to me, lol. I've read way too many plot lines. But ya know, even if you know yer gonna get punched in the gut, it still hurts when it happens. Please finish this, there needs to be some light in the darkness.

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmm predictable you say.....
-Madflavors

Anonymous said...

The last sentence of the first part made me go "oh shit..."

Anonymous said...

Nice story I will be interested to see how it develops. Was the spelling of Spitfyre with a "Y" a reference to Lauren Faust's DA handle "fyre-flye"

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous haha nope actually i just did that cause i thought i was being different everypony thinks that it has some sort of big significance
-MadFlavor

Kujiiro said...

I just noticed it says Part 1. That's cool, I'm eager to see it continue. Good so far.

Truthseeker said...

Way to go Mack! In just two days you've racked up more posts than I have on my entire story! Don't loose your momentum. I'm sure your next chapter will finally be up by tonight.

Anonymous said...

Part 2 doesn't seem proof read...

Anonymous said...

This is some pretty dark stuff... I'm starting to feel really sorry for Spitfire and her parents.
Despite some minor errors in the writing, the story is definitely interesting and I'm looking forward to reading more of it!

NinesTempest said...

That... ehh, it felt pretty fast-paced, and I don't feel enough emotion coming through. It's really matter-of-factly, and the "it was worth it" confused me too.

We are supposed to get the impression that they had been looking for a long time, but that barely comes through until long after the fact; you could describe more panic, more of the setting or how there's not anypony else outside. It just needs MORE exposition, more feeling and emotion. It just hardly seemed like much time had passed and while you do show thoughts, none of it comes through when the story should be slowly building up to that apparent climax.

Dave said...

"This colt's for hire...even if we're just prancing in the park"

Yomandude said...

I always was a big Spitfire fan. It's pretty well-done, but all the technical errors really screw me over, and all my compulsive brony companions can back me up on that point. I look forward to seeing the story in its entirety.

Nova25 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shade said...

@Nova25 I like killing parents in stories though ;)

Nova25 said...

@Shade
(repost... I had miswritten some words)
The story itself wasn't... THAT bad... but not really good either.

Urrg... again with the damn OVERUSED ''let's kill/have 1 or both parents die'' thing... Author need to stop using that bland and overused cliche.

MLP:FiM isn't a RPG after all... Not every single ''main/central'' are forced to only have 1 parent alive, if any at all...

After a while, it grows quite old.

Pretty sure it must be a troppe old like the Internet...

Kujiiro said...

Part 2, quite a few typos and dropped words.

[SPOILERS]

Middle of story:
"It was all a dream"
OH YOU DICK

You had me going there. Way to cause emotional confliction xD

I changed my mind from 4 star to 5.

Wierdplatformer said...

At first, the origin story was simple but good, even if it was slightly generic.

*Spoilers*

Then, you turned it all around in the second part. The way you had Blaze fight against death itself for Spitfire(Spitfyre?) was amazing. 5 stars for you!

NinesTempest said...

I would be screaming how cliche this was if it weren't for the fact that "Friendship is Magic" is literally canon.

So it was pretty good. Feelsbadman.png

doctor dapples said...

@NinesTempest
My Little Pony: Deus Ex Machina

Still, I'm enjoying it.

Wierdplatformer said...

I was rooting for Blaze the entire chapter. Go, go, go, go!

Raiden Gekkou said...

I noticed that the one at FIMFiction has another chapter titled "Growing Up 1". Will that be updated here?

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/764

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