Dear faithful subjects,
I see your obnoxious jubilation yesterday caused no end of trouble for the Royal Guards.
This is something her royal highness will NOT tolerate.
You may have noticed already, but your precious little hooves are now firmly planted on the moon. I hope you weren't enjoying the beautiful sunshine I bring you every single day without question or fail with nary an ounce of praise or thanks, because it's gone now. Come to think of it, you don't even bring me flowers. That hurts my feelings.
Enjoy the moon dust. I've heard it's toxic. Try not to breathe too hard.
Tyrannical Kind and Loving Overlord,