[Comedy][Slice of Life] Lots of Trixie stories lately! I approve of this.
Author: RainbowDoubleDash
Description: 1,000 years ago, Princess Celestia, who governed the day, grew power-hungry and wrathful, becoming an evil queen of fire and hate: Corona, the Tyrant Sun. She had to be sealed away by her younger sister, Princess Luna, who has reigned alone over the land of Equestria for a millennium since. Now, however, Corona has retuned, and it is up to Princess Luna’s student, Trixie Lulamoon, and five other mares of extraordinary character – Raindrops, Lyra Heartstrings, Carrot Top, Ditzy Doo, and Cheerilee - to stop her machinations, as well as meet and overcome the trials and tribulations of friendship that they encounter along the way!Boast Busted
Longest Night, Longest Day (Prequel)
Family Matters (Prequel)
Helping... Hands? (Prequel)
Other Side Stories:
An Early Reunion
Tales of Ponyville
At the Grand Galloping Gala
An Awkward Day
Countdown to Crisis
Crisis on Two Equestrias
I'll See You Soon
The Return of Tambelon (New!)
Magic Tutor (New!)
Additional Tags: Alternate universe slice-of-life.
40 comments:
What the hay is this?
ReplyDeleteI'll read it just to see how this goes. How would Twi work as the antagonist in that episode?
How does everything on this site has like all 5/4 stars or 4/5 O_0
ReplyDeleteIntriguing
ReplyDelete@Derpestia
ReplyDeletePossibly because it's all really that good?
A better question might be how all of these stories get ratings so fast. I know that the prereaders can rate, but that doesn't make the simultaneous low and high scores make sense.
This seems interesting. Will wait for more ratings :|
ReplyDelete@Bugsydor
ReplyDeleteNothing can all be good.Still a good site for getting news somewhat but biased and ranged opinion's don't seem it.
RainbowDoubleDash (the story's author) here.
ReplyDeleteYay! This is my first time being featured. Makes me smile.
I hope you all enjoy this story! Alternate universes are fun.
Wow alternate universe
ReplyDelete@Bugsydor
ReplyDeleteWell, sometimes (as in this case) there has been plenty of opportunity to read a story before it makes it to Equestria Daily. This one was up at FIMFiction for a while now.
I'm not saying that instant, knee-jerk 1 star reviews are necessarily from people who have already read the story though, as those are almost always people star-bombing it because of the tags or characters used. I'll never understand that behavior.
I've read parts of this one, and read the last chapter to see where it was going. It's quite well done, and I like the fact that Trixie is only slightly less of a jerk (and others only slightly more so) but wholly self-contained alternate universes just aren't my thing. Throw a canon character into such a universe and I find it a lot of fun, but otherwise I just find that changes made make me think of how much I like the original universe instead.
I'm not rating it either way as a result. If you like exploring premises like this, there are a lot of clever touches in here that are worth a read.
@Harwick
ReplyDeleteI can understand that. I appreciate the fact that despite not liking this particular genre, though, you still gave it a shot and had a little praise for my short story. In my book, that's as good as any 5-star rating.
Well, that was a pleasant read! Do you (RDD) have any plans for future stories in this universe?
ReplyDeleteurgh! puke! Too much of Twilight and Trixie shipping
ReplyDelete@Chill-penguin
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I'm working on the alternate Episode I right now, and I have vague plans for both more alternate episodes, and unique episodes.
@Rohit Eligeti
Um...there is absolutely no Trixie or Twilight shipping in this story. Any shipping you see is purely a construct of your own mind.
@RainbowDoubleDash
ReplyDeleteWhaaaa a Trippe story with no shipping that's like half the fun.
@RainbowDoubleDash
ReplyDeleteall right this story really deserves to be featured. and you need to get to work on those other stories lol.
I am totally Psyched for more stories from you!
ReplyDeleteThis seems extremely intriguing and exactly the type of alt-universe-what-if fic I enjoy. this is going very close to the top of my massive reading list.
ReplyDeleteI remember starting this story back on FIMfiction, and I was really curious to see how it ended. For the most part, I'm satisfied with this story, and I think it was a great portrayal of what an alternate universe with Trixie as the personal student of Princess Luna would be like. I sometimes forget how socially awkward/introverted Twilight Sparkle was in the beginning of the canon series.
ReplyDeleteI guess I was hoping for a slightly happier ending with Twilight, but it was also plausible to see a Twilight not exposed to the magic of friendship running off like that. Hopefully she'll make an appearance later on in the series, but if not, it won't be a huge deal. Trixie has yet to reappear in the canon series, after all.
I'm really curious to see what other stories you create from this alternate universe. Personally I'm looking forward to Cheerilee and Ditzy's stories (if you'll do any for them).
I'll be keeping an eye open for future works by you. Thanks for the fun read!
Loved this story. I can't wait to read more about this universe! Wonder who the last element is (loyalty).
ReplyDelete@Docstonge
ReplyDeleteMeh, the original synoposis was longer, but Seth asked me to shorten it. It mentioned each of the Elements. They are:
Trixie - Magic
Lyra - Loyalty
Cheerliee - Laughter
Carrot Top - Generosity
Raindrops - Honesty
Ditzy Doo - Kindness
I thought I mentioned Lyra as holding the Element of Loyalty in the first part...eh, even if I did I think I only dropped it once, and off-hand at that, so it was probably easy to miss.
Ooh, I remember reading this back when only the first chapter was up. It was loads of fun, but I forgot to ever check back on it, so I was quite pleased to see this pop up here giving me the opportunity to finish it.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of neat how the author manages to take background ponies like Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and even the one-shot 'villain' Twilight Sparkle then recasts them as the mane characters. It is kind of weird to only get minor references to our actual mane-6, though seeing Trixie cast in such an obnoxious role is even weirder. Sure she's always had issues with pride and ego, but this author dials them up to 11, though you can easily see how he still had to stretch to make her a convincing antagonist by resorting to using Snips and Snails to do the legwork with the ursa.
Now I hear he's going to go back and rewrite the first episode, awesome. I've seen plenty of takes on an evil Luna; Black Umbra, Eclipse, Midnight Shadow; so I can't wait to see what he does with this Nightmare Moon. Also it will be interesting to see how such an unhinged bookish snob like Twilight could ever make friends, until then I'm not sure I'm entirely buying the author's too modest to show off her magic interpretation. I wonder how much of that has to do with that baby dragon the author gave her? I know a lot of readers will probably try to call him out on being a poorly conceived OC self insert, but I personal found him amusing enough.
Then there are the author's choices for the elements of laughter and kindness. Pinkie Pie was an all too obvious choice, what with how her wacky background antics in the actual show are always a riot, probably why despite her being the mascot of our fandom he left her out of this story since it could have easily overshadowed any other plot. At least I hope that's why as I'd hate to think it had anything to do with the whole iTunes censorship fiasco. Fluttershy though will prove something of a wild card, as she's such an underused background pony who hardly anyone ever seems to write about.
@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
ReplyDeleteI LOL'd. Which, given that I'm still trying to get over one heck of a cold, was a painful experience.
But enjoyable nevertheless.
@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
ReplyDeleteYou win ten internets for this.
Also, this is a great story. Can't wait for more from the author!
@RainbowDoubleDash
ReplyDelete@RK_Striker_JK_5
Wait, first the author is laughing till it hurts and now someone else is giving me free Internets all because I wrote about my own reactions to the story and my eagerness for the next?
I am so confused.
So, when does Crisis on Two Equestrias hit the shelfs?
ReplyDelete@moocow1452
ReplyDeleteshelves. rrr
Really quite like this one, I'd kill for a Sweetie Chronicle crossover into this AU.
ReplyDeleteA brilliant premise with a rock-solid excution. I'm really disappointed this isn't rated higher than it is but then again, I suppose most Equestria Daily folks just aren't that much into alternate universe fics, which makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteHope to see more of this version of Equestria in the near future.
Amazing story! I've had much fun reading it. I loved that you didn't turn Trixie into uberpowered unicorn, instead going with explanation that perfectly fits the spirit of the show.
ReplyDeleteI find it easy to believe in your characterisation of 'enemy' Twilight. It is quite possible what our Twilight would become somepony like her if she never had her teacher and friends.
woot, more great stories for me to read!
ReplyDeleteJust finished reading through chapter 4, since that's what you labeled as the end of part 1. Again, I've neglected to check back on FiM-fic, and only became aware that you had been making updates through EQD. I really should bookmark your stuff.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this is where I had planed to wright a 'review' of your story simlar to my last, though I'm finding that far more difficult this time, but maybe that is for the best. The joke might not be so funny a second time around.
I found the overall tone of this story to be quite different from what I had expected. Notably Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all had more prominent roles than what I imagined. Some of that makes sense, as you've said they are all supposed to be mostly the same ponies filling the same roles within the town's social structure, but I guess I figured that would continue to be in the form of background details like how AJ's stand was mentioned during the marketplace scene in you last story, but otherwise had little baring on the events that played out.
The way this story was paced and detailed, it could have been rather difficult for me to distinguish their narrative importance from your alternative Elements of Harmony, if it weren't for the fact that I already knew as much going into the story. Now maybe I just misjudged what kind of story you were trying to write, or maybe you just got carried away with wanting to showcase the normal cast with exaggerated flaws, either way I felt this story didn't quite match the tone that was set by previous installment.
All that said, you still provided some really wonderful scenes. Ditzy got a great chance to show off what makes her the alternate Element of Kindness with the way she dealt with Fluttershy and diffused the tension between Trixie and Rainbow Dash. I also like the way Trixie was taking greater offense at Dash's name calling than Ditzy herself, which has some interesting echoes to arguments in the fandom that are probably better left unmentioned. Then there is the way that Ditzy is also something of a counterpart to Pinkie, in that as mailmare she too knows everypony in Ponyville.
Finally, drunk Trix... er um, Lulamoon was just too much fun. No envy for the killer hangover she'll have in the morning though.
New chapter is out. Highlights:
ReplyDelete- Pissed AJ - check, pissed Raindrops - check.
- Blue pony identity revealed. Totally called it.
- The moon rising was beautiful. Trixie still has lots to learn about setting good shows and she knows it.
- Trixie was alone :(
- No Ditzy and Dinky during the celebration. I hoped for another d'awwww scene.
I'm interested why Luna took Trixie as her student in the first place. She does not have Twilight's raw magical power, so it must be something different from canon. A result of political intrigue, perhaps?
Just read through the end of part 2, and now I'm doubly glad I gave up on my joke reviews. Wasn't expecting a 3 parter, or however long this is going to take.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this part was pretty fun, what with Trixie getting all caught up in her own emotions and setting off on a half-baked scheme. I did though sort of enjoy the way she manipulated Carrot Top, even if it was for all the wrong reasons and a bit mean spirited, there was a certain degree of inspirational logic to it. Unfortunately for Trixie that was about the only part of her plans with any rationality, and the part with Raindrops looked to be especial perilous. That pegasus may fast be becoming my favorite character in your narrative, an impressive feet when competing against a central protagonist incarnation of the G&PT.
Still though, the whole incident shows an amusing parallel between this incarnation of Trixie and mane-line Twilight. Both mares seem to descend quite rapidly into irrational emotional wrecks at the barest hint that they have disappointed their respective royal mentors, even if the way they express themselves while doing so is thoroughly distinct.
Then there is the end and the arrival of Queen Corona. Not quite what I was expecting, especially when you still included an allusion to the show with Luna's initial absence from stage when announced. The whole event is shaping up to be far darker in tone too Nightmare Moon, which is wonderfully in contrast against the backdrop of the herald of an Eternal Day.
Just finished part 3, though I’m not sure why I’m bothering to post that here. Seems this thread is basically dead, which isn’t surprising given it hasn’t been updated since the prequel started. Still though I don’t feel like making a FiM-fic account today, so I’ll just continue to leave my thoughts here, for what all any of that is worth.
ReplyDeleteCorona certainly made for an imposing villain, yet also quite the contrast to Nightmare Moon. The latter seemed to revel in the fear she inspired upon her arrival, with nothing more than sarcastic quips in reference to her royalty and banishment. Corona, however, seems to have been honestly dismayed at how much the ponies fear her. True she is quick to pass the blame for that to Luna, completely ignoring the monster that she has become even in the face of Luna reminding her how it was no different a thousand years ago. This also allows the story to have some interesting echoes of the Luna Eclipsed episode even if it is nearly a season too early.
Moving on, it was interesting to see Trixie, in an act of selflessness, step forward to protect the mayor, though I’m not certain I felt the action flow naturally. At this point in the story I’m just not sure it fits with Trixie’s behavior up to this point, with the exception that she was clearly acting impulsively without having taken time to think the consequences through. Her subsequent attempts to squirm out of her seemingly eminent demise seemed far more in character. Even more so in the wake of the mass foalnapping, where she has the wherewithal to beat a hasty retreat before the townsfolk can lynch her, but has the poor judgment to try and hide in her own residency. Of course very few seem to be thinking all that coherently at that point, Ditzy thinks she can rescue Dinky all on her own, while the townsfolk were going to lynch Trixie as a traitor and in retribution for the abduction of the family even though Trixie’s ability to maintain order in the town was one of the conditions for the safe return of said abductees. Fortunately at least Raindrops and Cheerilee were keeping level headed or else thing might have gone completely south.
I’m not going to say much about how the group went about setting out to find the EoH, the sequence is a bit contrived, but functional enough. What’s more interesting is to see these alternate bearers as they go about proving their worth. Most notably, Cheerillee’s use of simple introductions to inspire laughter that eases everyone’s tensions is perhaps one of the most impressive examples I could think of, possibly even more so than Pinkie’s musical number from the actual episode. Although, Trixie, as has become all too standard in fan based presentations, rolls in with the bittersweet sob tale of a troubled youth, but despite being something of a downer she also proves some strength of character by being able to smile about the whole matter. This sequence also provided a second echo to what would be a future episode in the actual show, Cutie Mark Chronicles, though I was perhaps disappointed that unlike in that episode there do not as of yet seem to be even any hints that these alternates share any kind of connection that predates their meeting as the actual Mane-6 do.
@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996Wow, seems I had far too much to say about this one, as I exceeded the length restriction. That’s a first. Anyway, getting back to where I left off.
ReplyDeleteOn the musical front, it is no surprise to see Lyra picking up reins as she proves her loyalty defending her comrades from the sirens. It made for an amusing battle, though I wasn’t really able to get into the ‘songs’, which felt to me more like some kind of beatnik coffee shop performance than a proper music number, but that is at least in part a natural problem of text based narrative. It will be interesting to see how the remainder of the cast face their ‘trials’.
Lastly there was the somewhat unexpected encounter with Zecora. Seems timeline differences place this adventure prior to her monthly excursions into Ponyville. Though perhaps even more surprising is her companion, I was not expecting to see Spike show up at all in this series and now I find myself very curious as to how he fits into this alt-verse, which sort of bugs me. It’s the alternate cast made up of secondary and background characters from the show that first got me interested in this series. I felt that earlier parts in this prequel gave a little too much attention to the more familiar Mane-6 and now I feel a bit the same about Spike.
@62835fdc-3fb1-11e1-9fc6-000bcdcb2996
ReplyDeleteTrixie didn't have a troubled youth. I mean, yes, her cutie mark story is sad, but I don't think any part of it suggests a troubled youth. I personally see her as having had a large, loving family, most of whom are still alive and well.
Sometimes, grandparents die. It sucks, and it's sad, but it's not really what I'd call *tragic.*
@RainbowDoubleDash
ReplyDeleteWell I didn't quite mean it that literaly, but by that point I had started to realize my ramble was becoming more than a bit long winded and so a lot of what I had to say got shorthanded. Fat lot of good that did me as I still ran over the size limit. :)
Also, I meant it with at least a partial side of sarcasm (which of course is one of those things that always translates poorly into text), since it really wasn't all that tragic a story, especially by Trixie fanfic standards. Rather, it was just somewhat tragic, or rather bittersweet, for a cutie mark story, which as the other ponies pointed out is usually supposed to be associated with the happiest of memories.
Anyway, glad to see that my continueing to ramble in this thread isn't entirely just me barking pointless at the wind.
I have a TVTropes page.
ReplyDelete...
...I didn't make it. Someone else did. Someone awesome. I don't know who. But they deserve...pretty much just about anything I can give them.
I'm so happy...
And here it is:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/RainbowDoubleDashsLunaverse
@RainbowDoubleDash
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. I'd go and read it but that involves the risk of being sucked into the gaping maw of TVTropes, and I really don't feel like spending the three or so days needed to crawl my way back out of its bowls at the moment. :)
Also, I see that you've got 3 chapters up for part 4 of LNLD, looking forward to another marathon session once the set is finished.
There's plenty more here. http://www.fimfiction.net/group/760
ReplyDelete