[Normal] [Comedy]
Author: Hyperexponential
Description: Rarity is at her wits' end. Try as she might, she can't come up with an idea for her charity fundraiser. But Applejack can, and now she has to convince Rarity and Fluttershy to take part in the last thing either of them wants to do.Mud, Sweat, and Tears
Additional Tags: Slice of Life, Hog Anxiety, Mud Wrestling
45 comments:
Based on image and description, this story's gonna be ABSOLUTELY CUH-RAZY.
ReplyDeleteWith a picture like that, I have to read it.
ReplyDeleteRarity's in for it this time! LOL. I am definitely checking this story out.
ReplyDeleteUh.
ReplyDeleteWhat.
I gotta read this in a bit simply because it sounds so ridiculous.
Slice of Life, Hog Anxiety, Mud Wrestling.
ReplyDeleteThat's all I need to hear.
Hog Anxiety? Sounds interesting. Maybe I'll read it.
ReplyDeleteThat Fluttershy in the image...
ReplyDeleteBut hah, mud wrestling. I have a feeling this is going to get a lot of reads.
Oh yea, I'll start on this once I finish the story this I'm currently reading. Sounds like it'll be a lot of fun.
ReplyDeleteI have to read it.
ReplyDeleteI have to.
Calculation Complete: based solely on the ponies involved and the additional tags, it is likely that Hilarity, Disaster, and Fanservice will ensue. There is a 82% chance this will happen at the same time and overload the reader with HNNNG and awesome. Hypothisis Complete. Now testing.
ReplyDelete...
...
Hypothesis apperes to be 99.99_% correct. Further chapters are needed. Conclusion: THIS IS AWESOME.
How can we have a story about Rarity and Fluttershy mudwrestling for charity and not have the comedy tag? Does not compute...
ReplyDeleteGoing to read it right now, however :)
Ooopsie! Please go to the *Alternate Link*!
ReplyDeleteThe gDocs version is old, nasty, buggy, and not to be read. FIMfiction.net has the latest and greatest version. Enjoy!
Sheeeeshh... I always knew Fluttershy was a secret Bad ass =P
ReplyDeleteThis might actually replace My little Hangover as my favorite story.
ReplyDeleteHa! I loved it! Although I truly cringed at poor Rarity's training. She and Fluttershy are awesome, and the ending was quite sweet.
ReplyDeletePonies, Rarity, Fluttershy, AND a wrestling gimmick worthy of Vince Russo? I am in Nirvana -- or should that be Neigh-vana?
ReplyDeleteOne quibble, though; a proper wrestling match like this is more of a performance between the two wrestlers than an actual competition. They aren't trying to really hurt each other, after all. But I guess we can chalk this up to the ladies being relatively unversed in pro wrestling.
Five stars easy, but I wish I could give it six.
I'm gonna read this for that picture alone.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet no comedy tag? Oh well, will read.
ReplyDeleteLooking at the picture I think this is going to be awesome. *begins to read*
ReplyDeleteAwesome, awesome, awesome. I love these episode-like stories. And so well written, too!
ReplyDeletethis needs a comedy tag!
ReplyDeleteYes, Sepia Tock is in the fic. :D
ReplyDelete@Ardashir
ReplyDeleteTo be fair - that was actually addressed in the story, when Rarity was worried just before the match that she *hadn't* taken any time beforehand to 'set up' the show. Then, again, during the match, when she realized Fluttershy was fighting for real, and not for show.
@Hyperexponential - This was an *excellent* one-shot Normal / Comedy story. I'd love to see more from you in the future!
Excellent story. 'Hog Anxiety' indeed!
ReplyDelete@Kether
ReplyDelete@Pinkamina Diane Pie
@cheezesauce
It looks like I should address that whole comedy tag thing. When I first sat down to write this, the comedic aspects of the situation certainly presented themselves. But I realized that if I tried to write this as a comedy, it would be awful. The more I wrote, the less like a comedy it seemed, even given that when you put two characters like Rarity and Applejack together, there is no earthly way to keep them from being funny.
tl;dr The comedy tag felt like a straight jacket.
I can no longer be objective, but I'm happy to bow to the will of the readers. If people read the story and find the comedy tag (or other tags for that matter) appropriate, I will make a request to The Powers That Be to add the tag. In the meantime, please don't read too much into the absence of a comedy tag.
Wait what? Rarity and Fluttershy in an all out no holds bar Pony Mud Wrestling Competition?!? *throws college funds at the screen* SHOW ME SOME CARNAGE! xD
ReplyDelete*tries to pin wings down* damnit i'm too excited I need to read this NOW XD
I came across a few grammar errors here and there, a little bumpy at some parts (doesn't flow right). But overall, I find it to be a pretty good story. Hopefully the author will modify this story a bit. Its actually pretty good. Just a little bumpy along the way.
ReplyDelete@Hyperexponential
ReplyDeleteYou wrote a great story, and it is more deserving of a comedy tag that some stories I've read that have only a comedy tag. If you write anything else even half this good, it'll be a must read for me!
Yes, a Rarity and Fluttershy friendshipping! I'm so reading this.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.
ReplyDeleteOnly thing is, how come ponies knew who Sepia was? Don't they think he's Doctor Whooves?
Boomstick said this about Rainbow Dash. I'll say it about Fluttershy.
ReplyDelete"Forget all doubt! That pony is a monster." :)
AWWWWWW YEEEEAAAAHHH
ReplyDeleteWait, wasn't this already posted before?
ReplyDeletegod that was a fun read and well worth it! I swear this could of passed as an official episode the way it flowed xD great job! this gave more then just a few good laughs ^^
ReplyDelete5 stars for concept, presentation and execution!
@Ardashir If your comparing pro MUD wrestling to WWE then this is not what was set out to be like!
ReplyDeleteol basically take two hot prissy and daintly girls everyone wished would wrestler each other like idk iCarly chick and some other girl in bikini's wrestling in the mud.
THIS is essentially what the premise is, something you'd likely never see happen, happening but with Rarity and Fluttershy (who got brainwashed a bit by Pinkie and Dash) and yes things got real.
Fluttershy totally wasn't pulling any bucks in this match lol much to Rarity's sore now sore flank! Training sure paid off for both of them ^^
@litewarior4 Come on now Sepia is his Equestrian name, can't go telling every pony your a bloody time lord now can you?
ReplyDeleteI want to add btw how brilliantly comical and yet insightful it was to see the horrors of Hog life through the eyes of one of their own. It was suspenseful, moving, you could feel their innocence shatter as the pony oppressors freely molested and terrorized both young and old, male and female alike.. truly a gripping tale indeed.
ReplyDeleteEbert and Lyra give it 2 normal thumbs and 2 prosthetic thumbs up. Best film cries Derpy. Till she found out it wasn't a movie. Then she said "I'm just here for the muffin" 9,6
That is all. Good day ponies and please read this fic it is SOO worth it.
Thank you one and all. To say that I am overjoyed by the response to my story would be a gross understatement.
ReplyDeleteIt's clear from the comments that a big reason this story caught the attention of readers was its cover art, and for that I need to give a big shout-out to deviantART's Spurkeht. Anyone not previously familiar with his work is immediately commanded to follow
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/07/cmc-and-trixie-comics.html
to find the most howlingly funny comic series ever. There could have been no other artist for my cover art.
Whelp, based on careful and painstaking consideration, I'm going to ask for the [Comedy] tag to be added to this piece. If wishing doesn't make this happen by magic overnight, I will make a formal request in the morning when I hope to have enough functioning brain cells to compose an email.
@Matoro
Squinty-eyed, fussbudget (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) line editors are a writer's best friend. This piece has benefitted greatly from the careful scrutiny of readers like yourself, especially those at ponychan/fic/, and can always further benefit from more. If you or other readers find problems, I would be grateful if they would report them to me via email: hyperexponential@gmail.com
@litewarior4
"Only thing is, how come ponies knew who Sepia was? Don't they think he's Doctor Whooves?"
Some cosmic secrets are beyond the ken of man, pony, and Time Lord alike.
@Ford
"Wait, wasn't this already posted before?"
Not to the best of my knowledge.
@Cátsy
"... Fluttershy (who got brainwashed a bit by Pinkie and Dash)..."
You've found me out. This story is in fact a crossover between ponies and "The Manchurian Candidate" (the 1962 film version with Frank Sinatra). Fluttershy takes the place of Raymond Shaw, and I don't have to tell anybody who the Queen of Diamonds is.
Before relinquishing the soapbox, I want to congratulate Equestria Daily on completing the first of what I'm sure will be many years of distinguished service to the MLP:FiM community. All of us have been the beneficiaries.
I can only describe this fanfic in one word: BRILLIANT!
ReplyDeleteThere are no words to describe how much I love this fic so you'll have to settle for some incoherent squees of joy. Easy 5 stars and deserves to get the 6.
ReplyDeleteI honestly liked the cover image more than the actual story.
ReplyDeleteI can't help it - Somehow it's much easier to look at Flutterrage pwning Rarity in a mudhole than to actually read about her loss of her desire to sing, her quiet resentment of the fact she is being forced to fight. This is a common problem with fanfiction; what can be surprising and funny in a cartoon can be depressing if played straight.
It seemed to me the story was two notches or so more long-winded and complicated with regards to writing style, plot and dialogue than the premise asked for.
The passage from the hogs' point of view struck me especially. The overwrought and stilted prose was intentional there - and I felt it was quite amusing - but the same kind, even if much less severe, could be found throughout the entire rest of the story.
Plot-wise... A lot of stuff just felt plain superfluous. Why do I need to know the exact logistics of who sold how many tickets? Why did the story have to relocate to the spa for the conclusion, after Rarity and Fluttershy essentially said everything they needed to say for a proper conclusion right there in the mud pit?
It felt like a lot of writing space was devoted to tying to detailing the exact goings-on inbetween scenes, in a way that it felt more like I was reading a protocol of events than a story. (The writing style itself didn't help there.)
I feel like I have to get to a point, but all I can do is come back to the cover image. I can't help but feel that there should've been a way to tell the same story, with the same conflicts and resolutions thereof, in much fewer words, and not lose one of its good parts (of which there are plenty).
That was the review. If you thought that was petty, the REAL petty part is now:
“Well, after all the ruckus you made about this place, I figured I needed to come see what all the fuss was about.”
... It's still repetitive even if you say fuss instead of ruckus.
For the extra extra petty: Why does Rarity's first line in EVERY fanfiction simply have to have "simply" in it?
picture of fluttershy fighting rarity in the mud???
ReplyDeletedefinitely reading
That was great.
ReplyDeletewas obsessively googling 'sepia tock' to see how it was spread. got a hit on a story i casually scrolled by.
ReplyDeletenow resiting the urge to stroke a small mammal while chuckling evilly.
I don't know if this has already been established but I'm eleventy percent sure this is going to be the same premis as Fighting is Magic
ReplyDelete