[Comedy][¿Satire?] "If Independence Day knocked up Armageddon and gave birth to the new Transformers franchise, and that abomination was a brony, this would be what the inside of its mind would look like." -Pre-reader that is an example of someone who ships Rainbow Dash with everything
"Not even exploding twice could stop me from enjoying this masterpiece."- Pre-reader #2
Author: Cold in Gardez
Description: On June 28, 2011, Michael Bay released Transformers: Dark of the Moon, his third feature film based on the HASBRO toy line Transformers. The next day, Bay and HASBRO entered into talks over another of the toy company’s properties, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The only concrete evidence of the new film to emerge so far is a tattered screenplay, presented here, which was found in a dumpster outside Bay’s production house, Platinum DunesMichael Bay Presents: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Revenge of the Unicorn God Slayer: Part 1: The Horn of Destiny
Additional Tags: Satire, explosions, spot-on characterization, Michael Bay is a bad person, best movie ever
Part 2+3 After the Break!
[Comedy][Adventure][Shipping]
Description: Following the runaway box office success of his first My Little Pony film, Michael Bay went on a long spiritual retreat in the Tibetan Highlands in a search for inspiration. He met with Buddhist monks, lived as an itinerant beggar, and spent days at a time camped on mountain peaks, communing with the stars in a language only he understood. He left with a new understanding of life, death, and man’s place in the universe.Michael Bay Presents: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Revenge of the Unicorn God Slayer: Part 2: The Unicorning
Upon returning to Los Angeles, he used his new insights to draft this, part 2 of the greatest motion picture trilogy in the history of human kind.
Additional Tags: Parody, pretty-damn-meta, Michael Bay is an awesome pony, fourth-wall-says-what?
[Comedy][Adventure][Shipping]
Author: Cold in Gardez
Description:Michael Bay Presents: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Revenge of the Unicorn God Slayer: Part 3: Flight of the Cyber-Pegasus: Part 1 (New!)
It has been months since our heroes faced Luna's invincible alien armies on the moon. Although the price of victory was high, they defeated her forces and secured peace for Equestria for all time.
...or so they thought. Deep within the bowels of her hidden moonbase, Luna has unleashed her most terrifying creation yet. Revenge, bloodshed and redemption wait for our heroes, as death glides ever closer on silver wings.
Additional Tags: Parody, split-in-half-for-more-money-just-like-Harry-Potter-7, evil-Rarity-is-best-Rarity
171 comments:
First?
ReplyDeleteEveryone gets to do it once!
ReplyDeleteWat.
ReplyDeleteYay.. :O
ReplyDeleteGod can't help us now..........
ReplyDeleteOh my...
ReplyDeleteWHERE IS YOUR PRINCESS NOW?
ReplyDeleteOh, THIS oughta be good.
ReplyDeleteBarely looking at the beginning and ending , I am sure this will either be the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Depending on who you are.
ReplyDeleteWell, this certainly looks like it could be a most interesting read. lol
ReplyDeleteOh dear......
ReplyDeleteUm... Yeah. You can take the question marks of the Satire tag.
ReplyDeleteA very humorous read. Thank you for the giggles! The funniest/ scariest thing is that this is so spot on for how they would corrupt the characters for a 'summer blockbuster' kind of film.
ReplyDelete(And know that if they actually do make a film that is even remotely like this story, I will hunt you down for your crimes! =P)
[And to the brain dead lack wits who think shouting first in a comment thread is a good idea? Really? In a thread that writers depend upon for feedback to help them grow in their craft, _that's_ how you decide to pollute things up?. Wow, just... wow.]
Reading the first few paragraphs makes me feel like I just read the greatest fanfic.... ever.
ReplyDeleteSuddenly, explosions!
ReplyDeleteI'm rating 5 stars, if only because of the epic name.
ReplyDeleteI lol'd so hard.
ReplyDelete"Suddenly, there was a huge explosion!"
ReplyDeleteOkay... Was I the only one to think that the Luna Gay was nuking Ponyville again?
Now to read the rest of it.
I'd make a decent comment but THERE'S NO TIME!
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteThere's never enough time!
ReplyDeleteOhmylolthatwasthefunniestfanficiveeverread! :D that was AMAZING!!!
ReplyDeleteEven if it is satire, that image is awesome.
ReplyDeleteReading the title alone had me laughing. This is sure to be a good read.
ReplyDelete'“Fuck you, Twilight Sparkle,” Fluttershy interrupted. “I’m going back to Ponyville.”'
ReplyDelete'The two solemnly gazed at the portraits of Rarity and Rainbow Dash set beside Celestia’s throne, like in that final scene from Armageddon.'
'“That’s so deep!” Rarity whispered, her soul crushed by the sudden revelation.'
'Suddenly, there was a huge explosion!'
I could go on, but case in point; Best fanfic ever.
lol at that Satire tag.
ReplyDelete"If there's one thing I've learned about friendship it means killing people who are different!" ... I want to say words, but they won't come out. I'm sure that if this was real, like, this was REALLY being made, and not satire, most of the fandom would hate it, and some would like it for the typical Refuge in Audacity. But hey, this is what I think. Maybe everyone would love it.
ReplyDeleteI'm on the second page,Struggling to Breath, and running low of tears of joy. 5 Stars here
ReplyDeletePONIES:
ReplyDeleteRARRR WE ARE COMING TO KILL YOU BECAUSE WE ARE EVIL
-ALIENS
That was funny.
Still, needs a grimdark tag :P Sorta.
What the flank?
ReplyDeleteEXPLOSIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That was so beautifully amazing, I'm not sure what to say.
ReplyDeleteMichael Bay reads: "Why is this labelled comedy? This is GOLDEN!"
ReplyDelete"Friendship means going to war with people who are different from you. I also learned that violence isn’t just the right answer, it’s the easiest and most satisfying answer as well.”
ReplyDeleteThat's really all there is to say on the matter.
That was HILARIOUS! A real-laugh box! Thank god it's satire, if this was actually made, most of us would be pissed off.
ReplyDeleteIt all makes sense now, MICHAEL BAY, is the one brony to unite us all. With the pure awesomeness and deepness of this, soon to be, trilogy, war will end, hunger will be abolished, and freedom with break forth all over the earth. Or it will doom us all, wha'ev.
ReplyDeleteNo! Not Baysplosions and needless deaths!
ReplyDeleteim sad that this is about at movie quality lately... and lulzy as hell
WHO WAS THE UNICORN GOD SLAYER.
ReplyDeleteWHAT HAPPENED TO FLUTTERSHY.
WHERE WAS THE HORN OF DESTINY.
WHEN WILL THIS BE A MOVIE.
WHY WEREN'T THERE MORE EXPLOSIONS.
That was hilariously terrible, and yet still somehow better than any Michael Bay film.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure what pic Seth would find to go with this story. I have to say I'm happy with the one he selected.
ReplyDeletealso, now i'm disheartened by the fact that i've written about 40 pages of fanfic that will not be loved nearly as much as this wonderful 10 page satire...
ReplyDelete"Twilight! Plot hole!"
ReplyDelete"There's no time!"
<3
MY BODY IS READY.
ReplyDeleteAnd suddenly Owlicious can talk. I'd think of a reason why that isn't possible but
ReplyDelete"There's no time!"
Your:abuse:of:colons:shall:not:go:unpunished:
ReplyDelete@MedicShy
ReplyDeleteI really do sympathize. This story has been up for 39 minutes and it has more comments than any of my other works.
Just shows the value of choosing a good title I guess.
I was reading the title and description for this story while my computer was being slow... As I finished reading, it loaded the picture. Much laughter ensued.
ReplyDelete@Laurence Brown
ReplyDeleteI think the plot for a movie, should they choose to make one, should be "Past Sins".
Lol at the "spot on characterization" tag.
ReplyDelete@MedicShy
ReplyDeleteA good title, an image, and a good description needs to capture the attention of a potential reader very well. It must stand out against other fanfics like Past Sins (didn't read), or The Thessalonica Legacy (also didn't read). Personally, I think a good image gets the most attention. I bear much interest in reading other fanfics, but I'm somewhat preoccupied right now.
Celestia help us all...
ReplyDeleteYou know, I was going to figure out the cure for the common cold before reading this, but THERE'S NO TIME!
ReplyDeletethis is exactly like a michael bay film pretty much. some kind of mess that you accidentally step in.
ReplyDelete@medicshy: what have you written?
ReplyDelete@everyone: this looks like a publicity stunt kind of deal... i'mokwiththis.jpg
The pre-readers' descriptions were enough to make me chuckle...
ReplyDeleteThe meeting in Celestia's Castle was also pretty funny...
Then I got to the part where Rainbow Dash is killed off, and I lost it.
It's just so bad it makes a new standard for bad, with a new word for how bad it is; then it goes right past that word and reaches brilliance.
Oh for the love of... There's no way that I CAN'T read this! Satire?! BRING IT ON, MAH BRONY! Lay on, MacHoof!
ReplyDeleteIt's so bad that it's good.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best thing I have read all week.
ReplyDeleteBreaking CNN-NEWS!
ReplyDeleteToday, film-producer Michael Bay was found dead on his ranch. The killer also painted his six shettland ponies in different, bright colours. The coroner concluded, he was trampled to death. Next to his body was a script for his new movie.
The police speaker announced to the press, that after reviewing all the evidence at the scene of the crime, the death was "an accident" and that the case will be closed.
HEY
ReplyDeleteI ONLY SHIP RAINBOW DASH WITH THREE PONIES.
...butmostlyVinylScratch.
IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL IT HAD TO HAPPEN.
ReplyDeleteHell the trailer even writes itself:
ReplyDeleteTHIS SUMMER
*Flash panoramic shots of ponies living in peace and children playing*
EVERYTHING WE KNOW
*Flash shots of stunned ponies looking up at the invading UFO's*
IS ABOUT TO END
*Cue disjointed action shots of explosions*
UNLESS ONE MARE
*Cue shots of a soot covered Twilight with her horn sparkling as she faces down an alien, which will probably not end up in the final cut of the movie*
CAN STOP IT ALL
*Flash to more disjointed action scenes, Twilight claiming "There's no time!", more scenes of violence, a quiet scene where Rainbow Dash is telling another mare she'll be back for her, etc, all set to orchestral stings*
THIS SUMMER...THEY MAKE A STAND
Michael Bay Presents: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Revenge of the Unicorn God Slayer: Part 1: The Horn of Destiny
*Cue comedic scene where sidekick character say obnoxious catch phrase which will be repeated ad nauseum up to the movie release date and then promptly forgotten two weeks after*
BAM. Check please, I just made 1000 kajillion dollars editing trailers for Michael Bay.
What the hell did I just read.
ReplyDeleteIt was very kind from Cold in Gardez to kill RD. In a serious story the alien weapons would've roasted her wings and make her unable to fly for the rest of her life.
ReplyDeleteBut the story is an obvious fake. Where's the US Army helping the ponies defeating the evil aliens? And why are the ponies the heroes? We need some human main characters who save Twilight Sparkles hide and blow up the alien mother ship. Seriously, I don’t want to see ponies in “My Little Pony”. Give us Megan on a Harley!
And we were just talking about Bay Doing a ponies Movie the other day back in the Ye Olde Mars RP thread mark II.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI actually meant to include the "gratuitous ass shot on a motorcycle scene," but got ahead of myself :(
Oh well, there's always the sequel (or two!)
I used the find function to find the word "plot", it found no instances of plot occurring in this story.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeletenotsureiftrolling.jpg
This almost deserves 5 stars for the sheer nuttiness of its premise and description. I shall endeavour to read it in its entire ---
ReplyDeleteDid spike just get recast as a "jive-talking assistant" ...
Did the same thing happen to OWLOWLICIOUS?!?!
I need to take this in small doses otherwise i might die from laughter. "Spot on characterisation" in deed! :D
Throw in a couple of human characters who will take away away 80% of the screen time from the ponies, add some shots of helicopters flying silhouetted against the sun, and you've got yourself a movie deal!
ReplyDeleteAlso if you can work in a pony peeing on an unsympathetic character, that would be great.
Wow... that... was just PAINFUL to read.... XD If I face-hoofed any harder I'd a concussion.
ReplyDeleteThat makes sense. He did Transformers. Next he'll do My Little Ponies. Also as good as the Transformers movies. This definitely has comedy/satire potential.
ReplyDeleteWTF DID I JUST READ?!
ReplyDeleteI would watch this movie and enjoy every second of it. Especially Twilight constantly masking logic with "There's no time!" XP
ReplyDeleteThis is not a Satire. This is a Parody and/or a Pastiche.
ReplyDeletehttp://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SatireParodyPastiche
*Sigh* the depressing thing is that I can actually imagine this happening. The only thing you left out was the scene where Bay shamelessly indulges his foot (hoof?) fetish.
ReplyDeleteOkay just the TITLE gets a five star from me. I can't wait to read this glorious travesty.
ReplyDeleteThat was amazing.
ReplyDeleteUtterly, utterly, amazing.
I couldn't picture a better Baysplosion Pony Parody.
This is the worst peice of crap I ever read. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteThis didn't make any sense whatsoever... which means it makes perfect sense for Bay.
ReplyDelete"Spot on characterization" indeed.
Not sure if you had enough overdescribing, awesome-sounding words describing the explosions though.
Alright guys pack up and go home, no one will ever top this amazing masterpiece.
ReplyDeleteI'd pay money to see this trainwreck.
ReplyDeleteTHIS MOVIE MUST BE FUNDED!!!!
ReplyDelete...If you don't mind that is...?
I will from now on say "but there's no time!" at completely inappropriate times
ReplyDeleteSomepony animate this. DO IT NOW BEFORE THERE'S STILL TIME
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Celestia my eyes ...
ReplyDelete“You’re wrong! If there’s one thing I’ve learned about friendship, it means killing people who are different! Like you!”
ReplyDeleteurgh, I don't care if this is "satire", that's just plain character derailment
@banjo2E
ReplyDeleteYou're either completely following, or utterly missing the point.
This work needs, nay DEMANDS a full cast dramatic reading with sound effects.
ReplyDeleteGet on it bronies WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME!!111!!
You forgot ONE thing taht makes a Michael Bay movie a Michael Bay movie...
ReplyDeleteA Self Insert.
Make it an OC who can't do anything but in reality can do everything at the same time.
Shut up and take my money!
ReplyDeleteMan, these are some gooooooooooooooooooooooood fish fillets.
ReplyDeleteStar needed?
ReplyDeleteMore like explosions needed.
I didn't like it.
ReplyDeleteI LOVED IT!
Everyone was in character, especially Fluttershy. That twist came out of nowhere, and I'm surprised Twilight saw through it. Good thing they brought in Pinkie's 100% canon hacking abilities.
Okay, this was pretty good, but there was not even CLOSE to enough explosions to parody Michael Bay.
ReplyDelete:P
Now we need the continuation where Rainbow dash some how comes back from the dead thanks to the bio-mechanical remains of the aliens to save the girls and the final movie in which we find out that Rarity didn't die either and was behind this all along.
ReplyDeleteThen a spinoff of Spikes and Owlowicious mad adventurez yo.
Hmmm... that's ALMOST a Michael Bay movie... but not quite. You're only about Roland Emmerich bad at the moment.
ReplyDeleteIf you want Michael Bay? It needs more humping dogs, dick jokes, sexism, racism, homophobia, lewd upskirt and down-shirt shots of cleavage (how a pony gets cleavage I don't know, but Mike would figure a way out), annoying human characters that have nothing to do with the plot (like, say, bring back Megan), urination, gay jokes, pointless meandering around for three hours, and giant robot wrecking ball testicles.
But good try ^^
5/5
Hey, what's so unbeliveable about Pinkie being an expert hacker? :P
ReplyDeleteThis is so dead-on, and you had me cracking up constantly. The complete lack of characterization and absurdly simple explanations are just too perfect, not to mention the heavy-handed moral which somehow gets ignored.
But how DARE you kill off Rainbow Dash so quickly! She better come back in the sequel!
First of all, wtf did I just read?
ReplyDelete"There's no time!" is now Twilight's catch phrase. You've really managed to capture "So Bad It's Good" masterfully.
I got through the first three lines before realizing, "Oh shit, I'm going to love this."
ReplyDeleteNow I'm going to find some sort of epic orchestral music to accompany the rest of it.
If this is at all as jarring as the shift was for Transformers fans, I pity them. Also, I really enjoyed the scene with the aliens' mysterious message. You took so bad it's good to an incredible place here. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteExpert hacker Pinkie Pie? I think I'm in love.
ReplyDeleteAnyways 5/5 would die of laughter again.
Wow. Rick-Roll in pony-fic form.
ReplyDelete@Bitmun
ReplyDeleteThis. Just this.
Also, I'd like to point out a few plot hol- THERE'S NO TIME!
Cold in Garez: I must parody the masterpieces!
Radio: No, Garez, you are the masterpieces.
And then The Horn of Destiny was a 6-star.
This was the funniest thing I think I've read in a long, long time. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteNot really sure how this whole "six star" thing works since I only see five, so... five stars for you!
6-Stars = A rating of 4.9 and above with 50 or more votes.
ReplyDelete"I've seen this before!" said Anonymous, as he pulled a book out of his pocket and flipped it open to a page showing a pencil drawing of this story receiving five stars.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even get to the end of the first paragraph before I began laughing uproariously.
ReplyDeleteJive-talking Spike is the new Luna in socks.
FUCK YOU TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Plan C is ALWAYS magic.
ADVANCED SPEAR TECHNOLOGY
Friendship means killing people who are different.
WOW. All I did was quote bits of the story back at you, because it was THAT GOOD. I stand before you, utterly broken and humbled. Ten stars. Ten stars.
Suddenly, there was a huge explosion!
ReplyDeleteAnd that earned my five star ranking.
What is this.....i don't even....
ReplyDeletewhat the hell!
I came napalm.
ReplyDeleteThere’s no time!
ReplyDeleteI was half expecting Rainbow Dash to come back to life for no reason.
I read this entire story while working at a coffee shop. After i finished customers would come in shocked and ask why i was crying. I told them i was laughing way too much. This was the biggest clusterfuck Ive ever read in fact it gets 11 stars from me
ReplyDeleteWell, it's certainly a Michael Bay movie. And yet, it's the best thing he'd ever have done if it actually WAS him helming the project. Though I suppose you can't really call it sarcasm, since sarcasm's generally a little more subtle than this is (althought we're satirising Michael Bay here so perhaps that's the point). Still, I was roaring with laughter. Good job. Well, bad job. But good job. Argh, y'all know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteummm.... What the hell did I just read... 5 STARS!
ReplyDeleteWow yeah just as bad as the Transformers and it parodies Michael Bays love of the military. That was FUNNY!
ReplyDeleteOh and Michael Bay is a bad person
ReplyDeleteMichael Bay? Pfffffft. Everypony knows that the perfect director for a MLPFIM movie is Edgar Wright.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.edgarwrighthere.com/2011/04/30/scott-pilgrim-vs-my-little-pony/
I hate what he did to the characters, especially killing off so many (At this rate no pony's going to be alive by the time Part 3 rolls around), I hate seeing Equestria get destroyed, and I hate poorly written cliffhangers, so naturally I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I read this. It goes beyond the "so bad it's almost good" point into the realm of; "By Celestia's mane! What the **** did I just read?!" You just can't take it seriously, it's so bad I don't know exactly what it is, but I laughed anyways.
ReplyDeleteJust for safety though, I vote we send Michael Bay to the moon anyways. If he ever gets near a pony, the results would probably be closer to this than I'd like to imagine.
Now we need a plot treatment for a MLP satire helmed by Seltzer and Friedberg.
ReplyDeleteCurrent time 2:05 AM
ReplyDeleteThat was the single greatest thing I have ever witnessed I don't feel like I read it man I feel like I lived it.
>Sees Complete Tag
ReplyDelete>Died a little inside.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteY U No Written Like A Movie Script?
ReplyDelete@NOFURR
ReplyDeleteBecause movie scripts are a form of technical writing meant to guide directors in the production of a movie. They aren't meant for casual reading.
By celestia's beard he actually made it.
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Jesus.
ReplyDeleteThis story...
Words cannot express how perfectly awesome this is.
My slightly perplexed joy only continues to grow over time for this piece.
ReplyDeleteWell...it could be worse.
ReplyDelete-inserthorrorslashponycrossoveridea-
Oh it just got worse. Anybody up for A Nightmare in Ponyville? rofl
And that last scene.
ReplyDelete*Wipes tears from eyes*.
So beautiful.
Totally knew it was Rarity in the coffin.
And then the engineer comes running back in on them.
There's just too much humour.
Part 2: The Unicorning
ReplyDeletegoing to read this on my day off tomorrow, too tired to appreciate the sheer genius that is michael bay's interpretation of friendship is magic
Sweet Celestia, this update made my whole week. My only regret is that there is no way to give a story 10 stars.
ReplyDeleteAlso known as 104 and 154 from when the google docs chat went to hell. You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteI fully expected them to all die at the end of the second film, but that wouldn't be in keeping with Michael Bay's formula of "1-2 scapegoats per movie and they all get revived" would it?
;o]
Blast of a read! Loved Maiden Flight and Cutie Mark Conspiracy; and have never had so much fun in a google doc chat! XD
ReplyDeleteI lol'd XD.
ReplyDeleteO god he made a 2nd one this is transformers all over again....explosion BOOM!
ReplyDelete... the fuck did I just read?
ReplyDeleteBut, really, it felt like I was really watching a Bay movie. Brilliant stuff right here, everypony.
The Uncorning >> Horn of Destiny. Discuss.
ReplyDelete...This was the greatest thing I've ever rea-*BLAARRRFFFFF* OH MY LUNA, It got into my mouth through my chuckling at it's pure audacity and gagged me! For the love of all things pony, I WILL NOT LET THESE PARASITES WIN! I'm going sock hunting.
ReplyDeletePS It is actually well executed.
PPS *BLAAARRRRRRFFFFFF*
*has also just read the Secret Pegasus Wing one*
ReplyDeleteMa, this fandom does the best drugs.
*Man, not "ma"
ReplyDeleteWHAT THE HELL DID I JUST READ...AGAIN...still 5 stars...
ReplyDeleteMy neighbors probably think a madwoman lives here, after all the loud laughter without any tv or music on.
ReplyDeleteI would give two months salary or more to hear the full cast of FiM do a dramatic reading of this story! I couldn't bring myself to read all of this it was too much... I've seen the Transformers the movies and if he had the chance to make a MLP:FiM movie I do believe it would turn out something like this ><
ReplyDeleteok
ReplyDeleteSorry, my producer eyes looked at the first page and I can't read it! The formatting is off and if you want to make this convincing then you gotta follow the rules of formatting a script. Google screenplay formatting and re-upload, would like to read this with a real critical eye!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot pointlessly including a over-used Linkin Park song
ReplyDeleteWell it seem killing Fluttershy is the new killing Rainbow Dash. Good job.
ReplyDelete@Peter Adams
ReplyDeleteAs a producer I'd also think you'd know that script format rather sucks for something purely intended for reading because it's meant to be ACTED. Given that this is a parody the substance, not style of a certain author's works and purely intended for reading the use of prose is entirely appropriate.
And it's an awesome parody, it's a BIT exaggerated true, but many good parody are for the sake of comedy. If nothing else no one could ever accuse this of being boring.
@Peter Adams
ReplyDeleteThere's no time!
AHA so it's LunaRarity!
ReplyDeleteThe detail in this second story is really something... it's much more atmospheric this time around-
ReplyDelete"Suddenly, there was a huge explosion!"
Ah, there we go. You had me worried for a sec there. :P
"Never interrupt Luna when she is with the sarcophagus!"
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the most ridiculous things I have read in a while.
So many Hollywood science and trope jokes... can't...type...properly...too much laughter...
ReplyDeleteSo much golden comedy here, from the "Well, f*** me", to the wood chipper scene, to the password thing, oh Celestia the action scene... I laughed so much XD
You're the best, CiG. I love this ^^
Why is the story not primarily about humans who encounter the ponies and how the ponies are eternally grateful to the annoying human guy and his stereotypical love interest who inexplicably saved them?
ReplyDeleteOH MY! RARITY XD
ReplyDeleteIn another world I am a billionaire.
ReplyDeleteI read this story, pick up the phone, and immediately get Hasbro on the line and the FiM cast on my payroll to make this trilogy. I don't care if anyone in the real world would find it funny or not.
Money is disposable. Being able to watch this train wreck/EXPLOSION! would be priceless and I would consider it my greatest achievement.
@stilllanonymous
ReplyDeleteMy greatest achievement to fund, of course. All credit to the author doing the work.
>Rarity not test well with focus group
ReplyDeleteWhich focus group is this? The one that all met my FISTS OF FURY?!
Previous post was initial reaction.
ReplyDeleteNow, CiG I wish to perform the act of mating so that I may have your babies, or you to have mine.
Give birth to, to raise, to consume, any or all, it doesn't matter to me. As long as it happens.
Well, this was suitably horrible, for the most part.
ReplyDeleteI liked almost everything, but there were some minor details that seemed kind of wrong to me.
First: The characterization. It's waaay too show-accurate. I mean sure, they are suitably out of character a lot of the time, but they are still somewhat recognizable as the characters we all know and love. Except Spike and Owlowiscious, those are completely out of character, so no complaints there.
Second: Space is too realistic. Seriously, no sound in space? Why not? Space Is Noisy, after all! And the cooking liquid is realistic as well. Only the freezing-to-death-while-explosively-decompressing instant-death part is bullshitty enough, and that could be explained away by this version of Twilight being an idiot, since it never actually happens.
And... I think thats it. As I said, only some minor details that you got too right, everything else seemed pretty much horribly stupidwrong enough. I really enjoyed reading this steaming pile of horse apples. It was hilarious. I especially liked the action scene, because it so perfectly captured (and parodied) that what-the-buck-is-going-on?!-feeling of a Micheal Bay action scene!
PART THREE.
ReplyDeleteSweet celestia every part you add it just gets better and better
ReplyDelete"...put an end, once and for all, to the stupid owl joke."
ReplyDeleteYES! THANK YOU!
Lol so random
ReplyDeleteWhat?
ReplyDeleteI've never laughed so hard at Fluttershy's death.
ReplyDeleteThat is, i never THOUGHT i'd ever laugh so hard at fluttershy's death
ReplyDeleteThis ever going to get finished :(
ReplyDeleteThese just keep getting better and better. Made the mistake of reading this at work (you try to explain 'Big Mac mode' to a collegue who won't take 'oh just a funny story' for an answer). Excellent work - and great SF science too!
ReplyDeleteThe latest MLP episode reminded me of this fic:
ReplyDeleteTwilight: Rainbow! Go back!
RD: No time!
IT'S HAPPENING D: http://www.fourthestatenewspaper.com/off-the-wall/2012/11/07/michael-bay-to-make-my-little-pony-movie-bronies-aim-to-halt-production-with-online-petition/
ReplyDelete