• Story: Aged Applewood (Update Part 2!)

    by

    [Normal] [Sad]

    Author: Harp's'ong
    Description: A year’s passed since the Cutie-Mark Crusader’s formed with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle already earning their cutie-marks, yet so long as Applebloom’s flank remains blank the crusade continues. But now trouble brews under the surface. For weeks Scootaloo’s ignored Sweetie Belle, and when the two fillies butt heads, Applebloom will have to find a way to reconcile their differences or lose both friends forever.

    Aged Applewood Part 1
    Aged Applewood Part 2  (New!)

    Additional Tags: CMC's, Sad, Heartfelt, Growing Up
    Wednesday, August 31, 2011 op
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    19 comments:

    1. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 10:09 AM

      first

      ReplyDelete
    2. MAugust 12, 2011 at 10:23 AM

      This looks interesting...

      ReplyDelete
    3. Rated-R PonyStarAugust 12, 2011 at 10:36 AM

      I can't wait for more!

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 10:38 AM

      That was sad....

      ReplyDelete
    5. Mysterious, Disembodied VoiceAugust 12, 2011 at 11:03 AM

      They kicked a plume of dust in his face and made him cough.
      Missing a word.

      Just make sure to say hi(gh) to Big Mac
      Wrong word used.

      Hey, I didn’t see who threw it, okay?
      Wrong noun used.

      ... learn ta think before ya flap your jaw like that.
      'Learn to talk before you talk' seems a bit... confusing.

      Angel’s sitting at the front door waiting for me. He points inside...
      Angel is male.

      I gotta leave before finishing, but I'm only half-through.There're a few grammar and spelling errors, and an extra indentation when Scoots tells Sweetie to take-care of the birds.

      ReplyDelete
    6. CirrusAugust 12, 2011 at 11:21 AM

      Good story, I enjoyed it so far. But the real question is: will it end with ScootaBelle, or ScootaBloom?
      Come on, we all know it's going to end one of those two ways...

      ReplyDelete
    7. CherryRieAugust 12, 2011 at 11:35 AM

      Good story, but needs a critical eye to correct sentence structure and descriptive flow. Also if I had a penny for every 'and said'. But overall above par dialogue even if the scene setting was poor, plenty of potential and I’d defiantly like to reread this if/when it has been improved.
      3/5

      ReplyDelete
    8. PandorasBombAugust 12, 2011 at 12:40 PM

      So, I'm doing a little speaking on behalf of the author. You see, it's a little bit my fault some of those little typos were in there. I was supposed to reread it over it for him, fix anything I saw that needed fixing, and send it back. Well, I did two out of three. Some of my edits didn't go through, meaning the ones I didn't verbally converse with him.

      We just went over it again, fixed some of the minor typos. The other things a little bit of his style. Ambiguity seems to be his thing. He's very much a fan of letting the reader seeing it, still along the lines of his vision, but what they want. It's a bit confusing, I know, but trust him on this one. It's a very good story. (I already know the ending, but I won't tell ;3)

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    9. ScootalooAugust 12, 2011 at 1:02 PM

      It ends in a three-way!
      After we take-over Ponyville, renaming it 'Cutie Mark Crusader....ville'.

      ReplyDelete
    10. The Unamed PawnAugust 12, 2011 at 2:49 PM

      Hooray! More Harp's'onng!

      ReplyDelete
    11. Shadow DragonAugust 12, 2011 at 3:20 PM

      I really like it so far. Though I really hope there's a happy ending to this.

      ReplyDelete
    12. MelodiaAugust 12, 2011 at 4:35 PM

      So this is a third in an anthology series but stands on its own. How much of what's referenced is in the previous stories?

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    13. The Unamed PawnAugust 12, 2011 at 4:40 PM

      As far as chapter one, virtually nothing from the previous stories has been referenced unless you count the references that the previous stories made to this plotline.

      ReplyDelete
    14. J.HarperAugust 12, 2011 at 5:32 PM

      For those of you wondering...

      This story happens during part two of At the Heart of the Rainboom, which is why four of the mane six are missing from this story. Part two of Aged Applewood will also include a symbolic piece from Pink Ladies and Sour Apples whose reference will bring it full circle for previous readers, but current readers won't miss out on anything. The growing rift between Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo is predicted in my first story, and shown in my second story. Part one of Aged Applewood also shows the undertone build up for my next story and hints at a story saved for the future.

      ReplyDelete
    15. AnonymousAugust 12, 2011 at 11:20 PM

      MOAR

      ReplyDelete
    16. BlankFlankBronyAugust 31, 2011 at 4:40 AM

      Wow. Just... wow.

      ReplyDelete
    17. Shadow DragonAugust 31, 2011 at 6:41 AM

      This did turn out to be a great story. Though I kinda wished that we learned where Scootaloo is going to live know that she can't return home.

      ReplyDelete
    18. J.HarperAugust 31, 2011 at 6:55 AM

      @Shadow Dragon

      @Shadow Dragon

      I really shouldn't be saying this but...

      Read my journal on DA for the answer to that. There's a little secret link to an extended ending I originally planned to be saved for the anthology, but I loved the scene too much not to "accidentally" drop it there.

      ReplyDelete
    19. Shadow DragonAugust 31, 2011 at 9:09 AM

      @J.Harper

      I admit, I certainly didn't see that coming. Big Mac telling them off was great. Part of me was hoping that, after returning to Ponyville and hearing what happened, that Dash would volunteer to be Scoot's guardian. Though that was still a great ending.

      ReplyDelete

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