Author: Avery Strange
Description: Twilight Sparkle is called away to tend to Luna when she falls ill. As Luna grows sicker and Twilight more determined to help the younger princess, she begins to uncover dark secrets about the elements, the alicorns, and her own past.Spark Chapter 1
Spark Chapter 2
Spark Chapter 3
Spark Chapter 4
Spark Chapter 5
Spark Chapter 6
Spark Chapter 7
Spark Chapter 8
Additional Tags: Sappy, romantic, magic, medium length
[Sad] (New!)
Description: Taking place long after the events of 'Spark', Twilight Sparkle returns to Ponyville at the behest of an old friend. She finds things not as she left them, and has to come to terms with what it means to be an immortal alicorn as she says her goodbyes, her last ties to Ponyville cut.To Be An Alicorn (New!)
Additional Tags: Sad, dark, death, ending, short, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack
182 comments:
Confound these shipping stories, they drive me to wallow in whatever it is ponies are supposed to wallow in
ReplyDeleteyay!
ReplyDeleteWhat's that Van Halen song again? "Hot for Teacher?"
ReplyDeleteI've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad! I'm hot for teacher! I've got it bad, soooooooooo bad! I'm hot for teacher!
ReplyDeleteCelestia/Twilight? Kinky.
ReplyDeleteTwilestia. I like that. I'm going to use that from now on. I always loved this ship. I think it's tied with Twixie for my favorite Twilight pairing.
ReplyDelete@AliceInChains
ReplyDeleteYour username adds to both my own confusion and the entertainment value, because now I'm hearing Alice in Chains play "Hot for Teacher." For that, I give you an Internet.
This should have an "Abacus" tag :)
ReplyDeleteHnnnnngggg
ReplyDeleteFirst chapter y u so goood
Oh my...
ReplyDeleteMy favourite story ever!
I just read the entire thing.
ReplyDeleteTHIS.
IS.
THE.
BEST.
FIC.
ON.THIS.SITE!
But it says twiluna, or am I hallucinating again?
ReplyDeletefirst it was twilestia. now twiluna.
ReplyDeleteiseewhatyoudidthere.jp Seth.
TwiLuna stories are the best.
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed this.
Somehow I love origin stories about Luna and Celestia no matter what. This fic however was way more than just that. One of the most enthralling stories I ever read here and it just kept on getting better and better. It's sad that it has only a shipping tag, because the story is about so much more.
ReplyDeleteThat was an amazing story.
ReplyDeleteYet another 5-star (definitely going to be 5 stars, despite some grammar errors. Maybe even 6.) to add to the Luna collection.
I struggle with this story because I don't care to see this take on Celestia.
ReplyDeleteBut I've got nothing else. Its well written, keeps your attention throughout the whole thing. And your reasoning for everything is, in my opinion, sound. Obviously, I was glad with the direction the story took towards the end.
Indeed, I am going to assume this will reach 6 stars.
I'm starting to think that Luna's abacus is entering official fanon territory.
ReplyDeleteCan't really hang with Evil!Celestia, but Fluttershy's entrance in chapter 7 is probably the best thing ever in the universe for all time.
ReplyDeleteI went in expecting a simple shipping story, but got an awesome adventure instead! 5 Stars for sure.
ReplyDeleteAwesome story. I;d some to see more Twiluna.
ReplyDeleteExcellent
ReplyDeletePOS for hurting celestia
ReplyDeleteVery good story... This is head-canon for me!
ReplyDeleteRemove a few misspellings and you've got yourself the icing on a brilliant story. It was a nice twist. Not completely out of nowhere but it took some time to fully expect it.
ReplyDelete5/5
Great story, but I don't think that the picture fits anymore. And why was it originally marked Twilestia?
ReplyDelete@Abalidoth: Fanon? At this point I'm hoping it enters canon.
Okay, Fluttershy at the end of chapter 7 was one of the best moments I've read ever.
ReplyDeleteIts safe to say for me so far This is the best Fic ever! Romance, Action, Lies and Truth! all in one story!!!!! *Foams at the muzzle and faints*
ReplyDeleteAlso,
ReplyDeletetyrant Celestia, LIKE A BAWSS.
It was brilliantly written in all chapters, except the seventh. The seventh seemed rushed and confusing until about half-way through it. But that aside, DANG THIS WAS A GOOD FIC!!! O.O All of the characters were mostly in character, and the shipping part of it wasn't too mushy for my tastes. And yes, I agree with Kjh242, Tyrant Celestia is most definitely a "BAWSS!!!!!" in my book.
ReplyDeleteTwilight and Luna is one of my favorite pairings and I loved that they saved Celestia rather than destroying her. Definitely a great story.
ReplyDeleteHOT DAMN this was good
ReplyDeleteI think this deserves a 6-star rating. This is the first Twiluna shipfic I've read and it's nothing short of spectacular. Well done, Avery Strange. This gets an "SFC Ponycron's Brohoof of Approval" (not that that means anything big in the long run).
ReplyDeleteExcellent job!
5 stars. i rarely give 5 stars but you deserve it. you've done in a week what i couldn't do in four. or four times four. i'm also glad it didn't turn into TwiLunStia. thank you for sharing this, it was lovely.
ReplyDeleteand, uhm, Shadow Dragon articulated what i wanted to say but somehow couldn't figure out how to. that the fight was meant to save Celestia and not destroy her, that was what made this more special than most others.
I think that this honestly may have been the best fanfic that I have ever read. I am amazed.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't so much a shipping fic as it is A F*CKING EPIC GURREN-LAGANN STATUS TALE of how the power of friendship and love can overcome any bound, and defeat the greatest of evils.
ReplyDeleteBrohoofs and Five Stars, mister Avery. Fic writers from all around should bow to your prowess.
fyeah, ponies!
This is the third story I've read that had Luna with an abacus. I'm definitely getting a tiny key-chain abacus for the upcoming Luna toy.
ReplyDeleteI usually don't get into 'shipping' stories but this one caught my eye. Luckily this was far from 'clopfiction'.
I really like this story but it always bugs me when writers make major changes to major characters. I'm waffling between 4 and 5 stars on this.
@mbulsht
ReplyDeleteI agree entirely, probably the best fan fiction I have read to date that wasn't completely obscure and random, or incredibly sad.
Holy crap. Epic fic is epic!
ReplyDeleteLoved it!
This story could be a J.J. Abrahms movie! So very very good and entertaining. I started, expecting to read the first part and finish later. Two hours later, I finish Chapter 8 and am in utter amazement.
ReplyDeleteAside from the grammar that has been mentioned, it's a truly enthralling and epic tale. The magic described is so powerful, and so very tangible as you read, that it ties the story together into a very well written piece of fan-fiction.
Well done, Avery Strange! Well done indeed!
This story is so AWESOME!! Now where can I give stars? I want to give as much as possible.
ReplyDelete@AMereLurker
ReplyDeletethe stars are near the top of the post, just under the title.
That was an excellent story and probably one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'll ever find a fic as epic as this! I loved it!
ReplyDeleteYou have my most sincere thanks, Avery Strange! Now, I can go to sleep as a happy brony :)
That was AMAZING! AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteThe opening image is cut and little sad
ReplyDelete( I haven´t read the story, yet)
But is twilight trying to compete with celestias siters love?
I mean is only her sister is not like they where something else?.....gross
actually not just wierd
The pic, C + T = <3 eh?
ReplyDeleteSomething was calling, and it was angry.
ReplyDeleteFLUTTERSHY ON A GRIZZLY BEAR!
WOUH
ReplyDeleteThis story....
was so deepy, so full of fealings and so believable
Congratulations although english isn´t my native language this story touch me and keep me stuck to my computer
IT´S ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I´VE EVER READ
That was amazingly well done. Normally I'm not a fan of Cellestia being portrayed differently then she is in the show for anything other than comedy, but this was so deep that it made up for it tenfold. I've also decided that I like Twiluna as a ship, even in a less dramatic setting. After you pointed out that parallel between Luna and Twilight's cutie marks, it just started making sense.
ReplyDeletethis was to me one of the best things i've read but later it got better and better yet sadly before the last 4 words i knew what happends at the end :D
ReplyDeleteread the epilogue
ReplyDeleteit'll kill ya
this fic has 200 ratings, and yet it is still listed as "star needed". Why hasn't a "7-star" category been made yet?
ReplyDeleteThis was by far the best fic I've read so far!
ReplyDelete-Sierra
The best fic on this site, or at the very least, the best shipping fic I have read. Has just about everything a good story could hope for. And I mean everything.
ReplyDeleteI... just approve of this story. Go read it already, I'm not going to spoil any of the sweet awesomeness. ;)
(Also, indeed, read the epilogue after. You will probably be crying your eyes out if you're like me, but you will love every consarnit second of it.)
I don't really go for shipping, per se, but in Spark it was more of a romantic entanglement that drove the motivation of the characters towards a far larger cause that eventually comes to an epic concept that encapsulates the entirety of the MLP:FIM and bring it to a conclusion of sorts. Quite the wild ride.
ReplyDeleteDid I drive you away?
ReplyDeleteI know what yoouu'll say.
You'll say, "Oooh, sing one we knooow"
But I promiiise you this,
I'll always look oooouuut foooor yooouuuu.
Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Yeah I saaaawww spaaaarks.
I loved it.
ReplyDelete@ToonNinja
I would have to say that by the end there is was less "Hot For Teacher" more "Best of Both Worlds"
Oh my.
ReplyDeleteOkay, yea. Well written, plotted, and executed. I did find myself groaning at the instant-love-just-add-soulsharing device, but they're cute together ("I dunno... you sound pretty silly.") so I can forgive it.
(Also, kinda was hoping for a threesoulsome by the end, but eh :p)
And while not the first time someone's written a everyone-else-is-dead story, the epilogue was nicely bittersweet.
No, really. Thank you for writing something that was such a pleasure to read.
I intensely disliked this fic. It disappointed me, which means my reaction is far worse than it would be to a merely bad fic. It had such promise, but it never quite delivered.
ReplyDeleteThe descriptions are bland as hell. I'm not asking for florid, breathless descriptions of toast, but this felt like the literary equivalent of a sketch with the construction lines still showing, ready to be inked and colored at a later time.
On the same theme, there's no feeling to the writing at all. By the end, I'm not surprised Twi is a golem, for all the emotion she conveys. PROTIP: Do. Not. EVER. Write the sentence, "She felt [emotion]."
The romance really kinda comes out of nowhere. By the end of the story it makes a lot of sense, but at the point where they drop the "I love you", I'm sure not feeling it. See previous point.
By the way, this story has a serious case of omniscience. We're jumping between Luna's thoughts and Twi's thoughts within the same paragraph at times, and not just when they're having psychic sex when a little telepathy is actually justified.
I feel like it shot for epic and wound up going overboard into Naruto territory, especially during the final battle. A little more ebb and flow of action and description would have helped it feel less like the author was trying to cram in as much awesomeness as possible.
I want to specifically call out Fluttershy's zoo attack as... really, really weird. She's not Aquaman, FFS.
Finally, it's a "stealth" Tyrant fic. I do not like Tyrant Celestia. I especially don't like having her sprung on me in chapter 6 out of 8. (However, don't think that's why I'm all butthurt -- these opinions were firmly set by chapter 5.)
This is awesome!I loved the ending, but if you ever write a sequel I'll be more than happy to read it!
ReplyDeleteMy thought process as i read this.....
ReplyDelete- ooh a whole story at once, i love not having to wait for updates
- its another casual shipping fic, good for a light read
- huh, with adventure elements, this is okay with me
- no time for comment must read moar....
- O.M.G. OVER 9000/10
I started reading because Twilight is my favourite, and the picture made me a'www. I kept reading for the Twiluna ship (so cute!). I remember thinking, "Celestia?", but I quickly dismissed the thought. Simply amazing story. 5 stars indeed.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that every time I read a "better-than-good" story these days, I draw fanart of it. And to think it used to be that I *never* drew any fanart.
ReplyDeleteCase in point, have some TwiLuna(worksafe): http://foxofwar.deviantart.com/#/d3iweeq
Why is it that whenever it's talking about old ponies, only Applejack or Twilight are considered for last one surviving?
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is why poor Rainbow Dash is always the first pony killed off.
ReplyDelete>dat ending
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, I now love this fix 500X more 6/5.
Manly tears were shed.
ReplyDeleteWRITE MOAR THIS IS AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a bit strange that Twilight didn't go back to Ponyville in such a long time. What exactly were her reasons for that? Other than that a very nice ending that I enjoyed a lot more than other stories with a similar setting, it just seemed a bit more natural.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I hope this story gets its deserved 6 star rating soon, it still says "Star-needed".
just read the one-shot.
ReplyDeleteconfound these ponies.
they make me cry.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeletebecause she always strives to be first.
live fast, make a good looking corpse.
Many tears were shed.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
I think this fic is parctically unique in the fact that she doesn't get killed... she died of old age, see? Just like the others.
Celestia damnit! It's hard to feel like a man when you're crying your eyes out over a pony story!
ReplyDelete*sob* Yet, it was a very beautiful story *sob*
Just read the continuation. Very well done, and it left me with a tight feeling in my chest. Eternal life is arguably more of a curse than a blessing when you must watch those you know die away.
ReplyDeleteThat story was amazing, and I cried over that last story I can't believe I cried over pony's.
ReplyDeleteDidn't read the first story, but I read the sad one. Cried my eyes out actually.
ReplyDeleteMy glasses seem to have developed salt deposits.
ReplyDelete;-;
ReplyDeletethat second ending
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteBecause everybody loves dash and it evokes a much more emotional response from people :'(
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete@rob
I'd point out that it may be kinder to have her go first. You have read Sunset at Sweet Apple Acres? As bad as being bedbound would be for AJ, being grounded would KILL Dash.
God Dammit. Between this and Sunset I'm crying again. How in the hell have I come to care so much for these cartoon ponies?
No manly tears for me this time, I just cried like a baby, nothing "manly" about it at all.
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading "To be an Alicorn". I think this is the single most heart wrenching thing I've ever read, and I have to stop now before I soak my keyboard.
ReplyDelete@Pen Stroke
ReplyDeletei have always said that eternal life is a curse unless your a complete maniac
you lose those you care about, you grow distant to everything you cared about and worst of all you lose yourself to the passing of time.
if i had to choose between eternal life and 1k year tortured in hell i would pick the torture because atleast there its a end to the tunnel endles life is a circle that cant be broken
I honestly think it's been months since I've shed a tear. Bravo, my friend, bravo.
ReplyDeleteI haven't cried in half a decade, but right now I'm balling like a little girl. Well done.
ReplyDeleteOkay. That takes my list up to 4 fics that have gotten me to legitimately cry rather than just water up.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't the first "ponies at the end of their lives" story I've read. And it isn't even the first "ponies at the end of their lives except Twilight who is immortal" story that I've read. But dammit, it still got me (I even started the Manly Tears early on when Twilight visited Ponyville). I think it might have been because it was a sorta-epilogue to a story that could safely described as having a happy ending, though the final scene being as well written as it was is just as likely of a candidate.
As far as the rest of the story goes, it had some problems with telling the story rather than showing it, but it was a well-written piece that managed to contain a few surprises; and it ultimately ended up being nothing like I expected it would be going into it (even ignoring the initial Twilestia description).
I would say overall that the story would get a 4+ rating initially, but with the To Be An Alicorn chapter it is easily pushed into 6/5 territory.
Ponies are supposed to make me happy, not bawl my eyes out :'(
ReplyDeleteHeh, I figured when Twilight become an Alicorn that would be the consequence. Unexpected surprise the writer put out a chapter about it.
ReplyDeleteI cried. So, sad.
ReplyDeletei read the spark then the alicorn after the alicorn for the first time i cried?
ReplyDeleteI read both stories and at the end of To be an Alicorn i, for the first time, cried because of a story.
ReplyDeleteTears, everywhere.
ReplyDeleteHey, do we get to see the wedding?
ReplyDeleteSaddest story I've ever read :( but still incredibly brilliant! Immortality must be the worst fate in the world.
ReplyDelete@Derptastic maybe she will be able to eventually live with her friend again in that heaven place after finding a new set of elements of harmony? i'd like to see that
ReplyDeleteI cried manly tears!
ReplyDeleteI request that someone make an epic picture of Twi and AppleJack laying down before the gravestone, MANLY TEARS!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous Toss in AJ rejoining the young crew in the sky also needs to be facing the sunset
ReplyDeleteWhile I haven't read many fanfics, this series (I guess?) is certainly among the best I have read. The original is a very good read and what errors there may have been didn't bother me. All-around good and solid. Also IMO the world and it's ideas are interesting (though maybe a bit self-evident too early) and I can't come up with any logic fails. ATM at least ;) .
ReplyDeleteThe one-off story truly shines though. The way you kept building up momentum for the end and then letting it slam right in at full speed with that last push was simply excellent, a true tear jerker, and I did cry at the end. A bit.
Really though, for me it's been what, 1.5 months since watching the show for the first time and already I'm crying over deaths of fictional brightly-colored ponies in fanfiction when the last time I cried was at an actual funeral a year ago. What is going on.
I am still crying... why ponies, why?
ReplyDeleteRead the one off and Listen to Dont you Cry By Kamelot, Who Wants to Live Forever *may i suggest the Breaking Benjamin cover* and Arms of an Angel By Scrum. It will reduce you to a sobbing ball in a corner. /manly tears
ReplyDeleteRead the first story. Loved it to bits. Very, very well written, and I enjoyed it immensely.
ReplyDelete...which is why there's no way in hell I'm reading that second story. I'll let my thoughts stay happy, thank you very much.
Haven't cried like that since my best friend put a bullet through his head. Cryin like that made me feel damn good. Thank you. /man tears
ReplyDeleteFrom someone who has recently outlived a dear friend, take this following comment with the utmost pride:
ReplyDeleteYou bastard.
You accomplished the greatest thing any writer can: You made me want to know what happens next, even though I dreaded the answer.
Much love.
You know this story wouldn't have been so bad (I say that in a good way) if it had been both of them passing away, it would have been a bitter sweet ending, still sad but happy at the same time. The fact Twilight has lost all her best friends forever and she can't even meet up with them in the afterlife... That is what is really depressing and heart wrenching about this story.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeletePlease don't remind me. Hey... at least she has the other princesses. Right? RIGHT?
GONNA MAKE YA BAWW MOTHERF***A, GONNA MAKE YA
ReplyDeleteI've read most of the sadfics on this site, the ones rated 6-star and 5-star. Those include the Derpy one where her child gets taken away, and Summer's Twilight, where Twilight dies. I felt sad, of course, after reading them, but I never shed a tear. By the time I managed to finish the epilogue (or whatever) I literally had to set my laptop down to just simply cry, quietly, to myself. I'm almost 20 years old, and I can't remember the last time I just let it all out. I have the utmost respect for what you just did. You perfectly portrayed exactly what you were trying to do, and you did it in such a manner that every single reader can feel something close to what Twilight is feeling. You are a tremendous writer, and also a complete bastard for making me break down. I applaud you, whole-heartedly, and demand that you continue writing
ReplyDeleteI love stories like these.Extremely well written to the point you could swear that someone who worked on the show has been working alongside the author.
ReplyDeleteBut at the same time. I hate them. I hate them because they are one of the few things I cannot laugh at.I have to cry.And Cry Noel Vermillion style,loudly and until I fall asleep.
Overall,an amazing piece of literature,worthy of it's own book.
One of the best storys, I just love it.
ReplyDeleteConfound these ponies, they drive me to break my own prison. Read it and To Be an Alicorn in one sitting. My heart raced throughout Spark. Mad at Celestia, intrigued by the plot, anxious when the battle came. I say too little for this story, it's pure magic in both its quality and structure.
ReplyDeleteSadly, my eyes barely wet when reading the latter story, even though my heart & wrenched so at every paragraph. Of my own fault.
A story like this goes beyond giving its readers a literary goldmine of emotional roller-coasters, epic adventure, success, love, fear and failure; this is the kind of story that can make some people realize long-forgotten things about themselves......
I think I'm going to need to re-read this in its entirety with a bottle of Jim bean and a bowl. Hopefully that will allow me to pop my own prison like a bubble.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteMy heart & soul wrenched- to correct that.
To add on to it, I felt tugged at the very fiber of my being at the reading of the tombstone.
So much gone, to never come back. I almost feel a fire in my soul to comfort Twilight, as fictional as she is.
Worthy of 7 stars if such a thing existed.
This was a good fic, I must say. I like how the author was good about drawing you into the conversations well enough to leave out a lot of 'he said she said' dialogue. That's talent in itself. The story was well written but there's something I can't place...My mind won't let me think of it but I know it's there...
ReplyDeleteI must say besides a couple letter misplacements the story IS GREAT, Please write more.
ReplyDeleteHnnnnnnnnggg!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's such a good fic! Best I have ever read.
Twiluna <3
I've never taken to the lesbian shipping, particularly including twilight, however I still have to admit to this being by far the best fanfic I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteOne thing though, spelling and grammar errors were not at all infrequent in this story. People really need to take 5 minutes to scan through their stuff in microsoft word or something before they upload it.
The Spin-Off story is really good, made me weep.
ReplyDeleteOfcourse the actual fic itself is awsome too.
You don't even need to like shippiing to enjoy this. Its just a bonus.
man-tears sob....
ReplyDeleteCried, and loved everything about this. Hands down, my absolute favorite fanfiction. Congrats on bumping Moonbeam down to #2, you deserve it!
ReplyDeleteI have unlimited man-tears being shed right now. Truly an amazing story, bravo!
ReplyDeleteDamn, "To be an alicorn" is so well written! It actually made me sad and I am the type who has no trouble with the principle of "shut up and multiply". Sooooo good!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso Luna fails at law.
I'm just going to go with everyone else in saying that this made me shed man-tears.
ReplyDeleteI read all of this in one sitting and I couldn't have asked for me. I'm a huge fan of anything Luna and this was just perfect. 5/5. You win.
I cried at the epilogue. I didn't cry manly tears. I broke down and sobbed like a little bitch. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful piece of literature with us. There is absolutely no question that this deserves a perfect rating.
ReplyDeleteLoved both this and the sequel. The sequel had me crying manly tears knowing that all the ponies I've come to know and love are dead.....Im probably the only one who thinks this but both would make the perfect ending to the MLP:FIM series,not that I would ever want it to end
ReplyDeleteman i hate sad stories that to be an Alicorn put me almost to tears i cant believe it man i need to blow some shit up or im not comming out of this
ReplyDeleteMeh, I don't like Sadfics that much. They're very painful, and I'm just not a masochist.
ReplyDeleteI need that picture from the end of episode two to adequately describe the level of sad I was at by the end of that second story. Didn't read the first; I'm not really one for shipping stories. I figured I had to read at least one of these "years later" stories that seem to get the [sad] tag alot. I was not disappointed.
ReplyDeleteWell written,great imagary I could see the magics!! Just plain awesome.
ReplyDeleteI actually cried near the end of the new extended chapter. Very well written.
ReplyDelete@Saint DaneI fully agree
ReplyDeleteThis was the first story I've read, and the first story in a very long time that I have found myself incapable of tearing myself away from.
ReplyDeleteI used to read quite often and that has recently faded, oh literature how I have missed you!
I'v got a lot of reading to catch up on! So... good night everypony
S E V E N S T A R S !!!
ReplyDeleteIn te seconds flat !
Interesting love triangle here LOLOL
ReplyDeleteI just read To Be an Alicorn. I. Do not. Cry. Near the end I could feel my eyes tearing up so I decided to quite literally flex to put up a wall of manliness. Then I burst into tears. This is perhaps my favorite ponyfic I've read.
ReplyDeleteA HA HA!
ReplyDeleteI did not cry, for I do not cry! This is probably a momentous occasion in the history of this fic, having someone not cry at the epilogue. I did, unfortunately get something stuck in my eye during it and was forced to vigorously wipe my face, causing a small amount of non-tear moisture to come out, but that's totally not crying...
I would love to see this story actually drawn out into a screen play perhaps for one for the seasons, it would make an interesting season to have a little deception and among various other obvious plot twisting reasons... that and the twiluna just seems right, BUUUUUT we all know this would never make it past the Board of Entertainment.. least not without a cupcakes session to the story itself xD
ReplyDeleteGreat story. My only question after reading it was: why just Rainbow Dash's inscription? I would've loved to see an inscription for each pony.
ReplyDelete@poopnate
ReplyDeleteAgreed.
Why do I keep finding myself drawn to these sad stories, yet never shedding a tear, when most readers who leave comments are crying their eyes out?
All up, this was a decent story, but probably not one I'll be coming back to. Four stars.
Crying so hard I could barely read the end
ReplyDelete:'((((((((((((
BRILLIANT STORY.
Confound these ponies... they make it hard to read the screen thought the tears...
ReplyDeleteI'd give my left nut to see this in movie style
ReplyDeleteThis story left me speechless, it's just that good.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, Twilight's reaction to the first time Luna refers to Celestia is "Celly" was pretty much mine as well.
ReplyDeleteAbacus sighting! The humor in this so far has been unexpected, but often subtle enough as to not be entirely off-putting.
What is a princess? A miserable pile of trolling!
"Celestia didn't need to know?" Twilight, are you out of your pointy little head?
I'm really kind of blown away by how much thought you must have put into how magic works. You're approaching it from so many different angles in quick succession, and yet the feelings portrayed in your descriptions are not ungraspable. I like how you work into the actual moment; the declaration is sudden, yet they've spent so much time together in those massing minutes beforehand. Stories like this keep me from being ashamed to call myself a romantic.
I love how you're gradually weaving the whole of Twilight's experiences during the show into this. Friendship and all that.
Ohh, now I'm getting disappointed. Celestia was the evil one all along? Twilight's being turned against her former mentor? I don't like this setup at all. It was such a good ship, such an interesting study of magic, but outright flipping the major good/evil dynamic around like that, I just can't take it. (I do like the explanation of who those stars were, though, I've been looking for something like that recently.)
Oh shit, I am now in complete, frightened awe of Fluttershy, like never before. That whole battle is kind of really cool.
I see what's going on now, and I can perhaps accept it in terms of this story, but the turnaround was really very unsettling and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I suppose I find it somewhat unbelievable that Celestia was so successful in her plot for so long, even if her subjects were just made out of dirt.
So this one time in flight camp... I think I can live with this ending. It ties everything up and is very satisfying. (And then they all fucked.) I think I'll have to read the second story as well, but not today.
Ahh, nevermind, it's short. Loving ancient Applejack here. She'd be my pick for longest-lived, too; too stubborn to die.
ReplyDeleteOkay, this is NOT short. But I'm enjoying it immensely. And you got me with the memorial animal hospital. ;_;
"He took a nap last year." That's pretty amazing. All these alicorns and dragons, confound their longevity!
Ahh, no, please tell me Applejack's not... ;_; Congrats, first legitimate cry for me.
First of all, spoiler warning. Secondly: I'm sorry, but, What? How could...?
ReplyDeleteI am astounded. Utterly astounded. I've now read about a dozen different fanfics here on this site, and right now You're definitively my favourite author.
Spark was throughout an incredible read. The only thing I personally would complain about was the rather cheesy way in which Luna and Twilight fell in love. I mean, I've always been sceptical to the whole "love at first glance" thing, or even "love after a short meeting". So when their whole "first meeting" to "professing love and sleeping together" (Just sleeping, but still!) happens within a span of what seemed to be two/three days, I couldn't help but roll my eyes a bit.
But really, Everything else is just fantastic. I loved the way Celestia became the true villain, how you brought together all six at the end and conquered it all.
And having been satisfied by such an obvious 5/5 store, I start on "To be an alicorn".
Again... Wow. Halfway through I was in tears. At the end of Spark, I could already see that this is what would have to happen. But you wrote it out so eloquently, with so much Life and Sorrow that I found it hard to stop crying.
Some people kill of main cast members cheaply, but here you've killed off almost everyone, and I wouldn't want it any different. It all felt so natural, expected, and at the same time so very, very sad.
I've written enough now I think. Again though, I might have to reread this one a few times. I'm sure that I'll be just as touched whenever I do.
I really liked the main story one of the best I've read so far.
ReplyDeleteBut after reading the second story I'm depressed. ):
CONFOUND THESE SAD PONY FANFICS!
THEY SRIVE ME TO DEPRESSION!
Am I the only one who thinks Abby (luna's abacus, constantly referenced in fan-fiction) will appear even briefly in season 2?
ReplyDeleteMy granddad died a few weeks ago. I didn't cry at his funeral. But a story about the death of fictional mostly lesbian ponies? Oh yeah, sure.
ReplyDeleteFantastic from start to finish, by the way.
This story is abselute GOLD, loved it way more than i should ;) 6/5 by a big shot, and seth you change this to 6 star status right now, its 4.9 in ratings!
ReplyDeletenevermind about the 6 star thing, its so in the tags, but still not in the archives O_o
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L8-FTvSVxs&feature=related
ReplyDeleteBackground ambience for "To Be An Alicorn". Listen and read at your own risk.
the execution was brilliant... best fic ever. and the epilogue made me tear up. also, Fluttershy + Grizzly Bear = awesome.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. Absolutely brilliant. 7-stars.
ReplyDeleteNeeds 9 star rating, idunno if that even exists but it does now.
ReplyDeleteWhy 9? I just like the number.
It is very well done, with good pacing and all that jazz. It wasn't so long as to overstay its welcome either.
Sequel story had me on the verge of tears.
...
I DEMAND MOAR STORY.
Some of the comments were misleading. Its a Twiluna ship, not Celestia/Twilight like some of the first comments say. And good. I LOVE Twiluna! maybe my favorite ship, tied close with Pinkiedash after reading "The Party Never Ended".
ReplyDeleteits not fair to make a grown women cry like that have you ever seen a grown women cry i tell ya its not pretty 20 stars and 100000 internets to you Avery Strange.
ReplyDeleteThis was truly a story that pulled forth all sorts of emotions from me, I'm glad I found this and decided to read it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I totally liked Twi turning into an alicorn at first. ...I haven't wept like that for nearly a year. <3 Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDammit, I thought I could hold them in, but a few tears slipped out at the end.
ReplyDeleteThe second story had me so close to crying, so close to causing another thunderstorm...I can see why these are rated Star-6.
ReplyDeleteshit dude i was all happy i was like ima read this but i see there is a second story so i read discript now its been runed ill still read but it makes me sad that i know what it is
ReplyDeleteTHis is the best fan fic ive read so far, the fluttershy entrance part was hilarious and awesome, the twist was extremely surpirsing for me but it's great that you didn't completely destroyed everyones opinion of celestia in the end.
ReplyDeleteOne of the greatest fan fics in this fandom, now on to story 2!
THe second story was so sad, but yet so great, your truly a great writer able to bring out the emotions of your characters and your readers.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work looking forward to new stuff!
To Be An Alicorn.
ReplyDeleteIs *THE* Saddest. FIM fic. Ever.
God......its like sadness in crack cocaine form.
ReplyDelete:(
And the only way to detox from it is to remind yourself that YOU WILL DIE SOMEDAY.
-_-
I started sobbing at that last sentence, god dammit, I need to write a fanfic
ReplyDeleteTwiLuna is best ship. Looking forward to reading.
ReplyDeleteI can't Even begin to describe my feelings For this story. It made me laugh, cry, smile, and reconsider a few things about what friendship truly is. The epilogue, I'm not going to lie, made me bawl. I haven't cried since my dog died and this made me cry my eyes out. This fic can't be rated with stars, it needs a category all it's own
ReplyDeleteI can never recall crying this hard. Ever.
ReplyDeletei now wish i didnt read that one off v.v it made me sad why did you have to post something so sad WHHHHYYY
ReplyDeleteOh my God...This is beautiful...the one shot...
ReplyDeleteIt made me cry when I hadn't cried to a fan-fic in so long. Heck, somehow I couldn't seem to cry even through My Little Dashie, but this...
Here's to you, my friend. Never stop writing. Ever.
one off*
ReplyDeleteHow the heck could I misspell something at a time like this. .-.
I definitly loved this fan fiction. I've read it two, three times, and I cry of sheer joy each time I read it, as well as a little fear. The follow-up sequal "To Be an Alicorn" Made me shed fast, deep tears as well. You're writing is beautiful, my friend. I look forward to seeing more of it!
ReplyDeleteSpark is THE best fic I've ever read. And I've read a lot of fics.
ReplyDeleteWriting To be an Alicorn is THE most cruel thing you could do to me after giving me such an epic first story. I just don't see WHY!? It ruins all of it, if I ever think back to this story, I will remember the epilogue... and I will become so, so sad
The epilogue...
ReplyDeleteWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
SO FRIGGIN' SAD T.T
this story made me want to read "cupcakes" just to counterbalance all that i have just read. O.O
ReplyDeleteGahhh i need a sequel that is less sad! damn though congrats it is a really good fan fic.
ReplyDeletealso, this is one of 2 fan fic's I have read that have made me cry. The other being past sins.
ReplyDeleteNice Story.
ReplyDeleteThe beginning kinda dragged on for a bit but hot damn! That ending EPIC!
@wolferine
ReplyDeleteI need a sequel that doesn't spoil part of the first story in the description before I even start reading it. :/