• Story: Memories of Days Long Past (Update Session Final [Not Complete]!)

    [Normal][Adventure] 
    Description: Twilight Sparkle discovers a spell that allows her and her friends to relive the lives of their ancestors. What starts off as an educational experience, however, quickly turns into a terrible tale that imparts to them many truths of the time before Celestia's reign, as well as what it exactly means to bear the Elements of Harmony.
    Added a Page Break! All chapters are below!


    Memories of Days Long Past
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 1
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 2
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 3 
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 4
    Memories of Days Long Past Intermission 1
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 5
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 6
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 7
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 8
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 8.5
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 9
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 10
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 11
    Memories of Days Long Past Intermission 2
    Memories of Days Long Past Intermission 3
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 12
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 13
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 14
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 15 
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 16
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 17 
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 18
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 18.5
    Memories of Days Long Past Intermission 4 
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 19
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 20
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 21
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 22
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 23
    Memories of Days Long Past Session 24
    Memories of Days Long Past Session Final (New!)


    Additional Tags: Violence, Long, Origin Story

    E-Book (Untested!)

    640 comments:

    1. This is one of those ponyfics that I'll wait on baited breath until the next chapter.

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    2. Very good characterization with the mane cast, especially Rainbow. Loved every second of it. And I legitimately lol'd at the Assassins Creed references. Can't wait for more.

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    3. I'm agreeing with the above anonpony. At first I was "This guy's not even gonna say anything about AC is he?"
      And then I was like "Wait a minute this is gonna kick flank"

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    4. Hmm. I wonder what they'll see. The original series, perhaps?

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    5. Oooh, interesting premise. Cannot wait to read more of it.

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    6. This story is shaping up to be really good.
      Can't wait for the next update.

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    7. Alright, I'm hooked, now just reel me in!

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    8. Good set up, hoping that the author follows through with it.

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    9. A semi-cross between MLP and Assassin's Creed? How exciting! I gotta say, I also lost it when Pinkie blatantly started referencing AC. Can't wait to see what else you've got!

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    10. That was seriously amazing! It was very interesting and I'm really looking forward to the first chapter!

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    11. At first I was like "Wut?" Then when Twilight explained how it worked I was like "OH SNAP PONY ANIMUS TIME. HELL YES." Can't wait for more!

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    12. Okay, this looks fascinating! I can't wait for the next chapter!

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    13. Agreeing with the other anons here. I was like "Wait, this is just AC" and then pinkie came along and broke the forth wall.

      Anyway, cant wait to read more. Everything's awesome. Yeah.

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    14. I hope this isn't humans...

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    15. I really hope this is a G1 crossover

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    16. It's Assassin's Creed with ponies minus the assassins and the creed. Anyways, this story is really just another one of those Celestia/Luna origin stories, except the main character isn't Celestia or Luna and there's a tweest to make it relevant to the ponies in the present. Protip: If you've read Bittersweet you'll have an idea of how I'll be presenting the past, since I'll be using that history with a few tweaks here and there.

      But I have some vidya to play and I'll be getting to writing the first actual chapter later on. Hope everypony sticks around!

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    17. Great story nuke. The characterization is better than most other stories, something that isn't easy for a story about "everypony"

      Looking forward to the next chapter

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    18. So... much... fourth... wall... breakage...
      But seriously, this looks veeery interesting.
      -elite guy 94

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    19. Alright, finished the first real chapter. I was hoping that it wouldn't get as long as it did because I don't normally expect my chapters to be that long... hopefully nopony will be disappointed if future installments end up shorter.

      We delve into Twilight Sparkle's ancestor in this one, and along with it a bunch of OC ponies. Although the main OC ponies will really just end up being the main six with different names.

      I'll just see how everypony feels about these OCs for now. Hopefully they're not taken too negatively...

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    20. This story is shaping up to be Brilliant.
      I think the way that not everything is explained straight away is nice, like how a "Collection" is mentioned but not explained about what it is, this has really grabbed my interest in finding out what will happen further on in the story.

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    21. Mmm, delicious plot hooks, om nom nom.

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    22. I am really looking forward to more chapters. Great story :D

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    23. A really heavy does of déjà vu right here, if you ask me. Hopefully, there's going to be some new experiences, right? :D

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    24. @Zarkanorf It needs to be about 20 percent newer.

      Added on to the already almost 100 percent anyways.

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    25. The start sounded like it was turning out to be Pony Creed.

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    26. I bet there shall be jumping from high places into hay or something later :3

      Also the déjà vu, sorta ominous...

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    27. So...I'm guessing from the comments so far that this hasn't just been the start of the G1 cartoon? I wouldn't know, I never watched it. >.>

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    28. This is turning out to be extremely epic

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    29. And so Midnight's going to go down to Ye Olde Ponyville and meet the ancestors of the others in the main six. This is going to be awesome.

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    30. Clop Clop Clop good show. Ive always liked these origin stories cant wait for more.

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    31. The first chapter seems very familiar but i just can't figure it out... or maybe is just my imagination.
      Any way can't wait for the next part.

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    32. cant wait for moar

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    33. So Twilight is flashing back to see some pony who's basically herself, as she goes down to Ponyville, probably to meet the ancestors of the others.

      Well, golly gee willickers. This sounds intriguing, especially with all this talk about a Goddess and Collections and Quotas and stuff. I really want to see where this is going.

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    34. This is kinda spooky in a sense. You have a real knack for atmosphere and the vague details make it even more mystifying. Excellent work, Nuke, keep it going!

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    35. oh my god why are these parts getting so long ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.

      Finished and sent Session 2 and why did it hit 4500 words? I hope it doesn't become an expectation for me to have long chapters, they usually fall in the 2500 area...

      Anyways, Midnight goes to make some FRIENDS. What shenanigans ensue? It's all fun stuff!!

      Too bad that'll all be gone after the next chapter.

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    36. YES. A NEW CHAPTER. YES.

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    37. 'What could possibly go wrong'... aren't those famous last words?

      And Nuke, you may hate the long chapters, but as a fellow writer that frequently clocks in at at least 7.5 K to a story, I for one don't mind them being the length they are. High wordcount from explanations and detail aren't necessarily a bad thing.

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    38. Rev up those grimdark tags!

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    39. It was pretty cheesy. It seems you focused more on the AC references than the detail of the plot and the unique traits of the characters.

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    40. Being in the middle of a marathon of AC, AC2 and Brotherhood playthroughs I'm loving this fic so much.

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    41. Mmmhhh...

      When reading the Part 2, the proverbs :
      "History tends to repeats itself''
      and
      ''Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it''
      suddenly came to mind.

      ...I wonder... Hmmmm...

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    42. Did she just ask... Oh damn, she did!
      *panics, runs for cover*

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    43. FOR THE LOVE OF QUOTA, MOAR

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    44. @siraj Possibly. >__>
      The length isn't really the bad part, it's the fact that I'm usually more inclined to write shorter chapters. I have a handful of events I want to fit in when I write a chapter and when I get all those events in I'm done. It just so happens that trying to give everypony a decent amount of pagetime lengthens things a good amount.

      I just don't want people to expect me to have 4k word chapters all the time.

      @Anonymous How so? I don't really try to focus on the Assassin's Creed references at all after the prologue. The only concepts I took from AC were the whole "dive into your ancestors" thing and Midnight's birth. Although Ezio's parents didn't die or anything.

      If you're talking about Twilight's soliloquies where she's talking about how she doesn't know about anything, that was to establish that she only knows as much as the reader does. After all, if she knew everything right off the bat then there wouldn't be a point to her staying in the past, would there?

      And I'm being intentionally vague on the plot on purpose. It doesn't really kick in until I start explaining what the Quota and Collections are.

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    45. Session 3 is finished and sent. I have a bit of an issue with the pacing of this part, but eh.

      WELL HERE COMES THE GRIMD-- wait not yet.

      But shit's goin' down.

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    46. The newest session is good, and the cliffhanger is a nice one, but it seems like you've pretty much abandoned your framing device for this part?

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    47. Love it, I've been reading since the intro.

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    48. @Anonymous Framing?

      If you're talking about the mane cast commentating on things, there wasn't really any need for them to step in. Applejack has a pretty large part in the next one though.

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    49. ZOMG cliffhanger ftw!

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    50. Ohhhhhh shit.

      Shit just got real.

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    51. This is quite possibly the best fic I've ever read.

      Congratulations nukeiffum, you have officially got me hooked. I kindly request moar

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    52. Hello new desktop wallpaper...

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    53. Oh dear god that's what a collection is.

      Fuck man, I have to read more now... and I'm scared...

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    54. This is amazing. Moar, please.

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    55. Absolutely terrific! I cannot wait for the rest! :D And li'l Apple Sundae. D'awwwww <3

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    56. Session 4 is finished (already).
      MAN WHY DID I SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON THIS I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--

      And with this the first act of the story is finished. Some heads up though, this chapter has some grimdark in it. I don't want this story to be labeled grimdark though since overall it's not meant to be a grimdark story... the world's just not a pretty place is all.

      Anyways, enjoy it once it goes up.

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    57. Damn, you're doing these really quickly. Many props sir.

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    58. damn... that is one scary chapter, yet... it fits. i do wish it was a little bit longer though, oh well, just have to wait a day or 2 to continue... no biggie

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    59. I hate Desynchronization. But I was expecting as much. I'm sad now, but I still want to find out what the heck happens.

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    60. @Shining Sparks
      >I'm a week behind in a class
      >spring break's over for me tomorrow and I'll be back in school
      >implying I'll definitely have the next part ready by tuesday

      @Anonymous I had that scene planned ever since I realized I could do some freaky stuff with desynching.

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    61. This is such a good story, I had goosebumps through all of chapter 4. I can't wait for the next chapter man, keep up the good work.

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    62. Not the best day for Applejack's parents.

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    63. o_o

      ...I'm sad now...poor Fritter, I think I'm going to be sick...

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    64. This new installment was pretty grimdark, but I felt was necessary.

      Also GOOGLE DOCS IS THE GREATEST THING OF ALL TIME:
      http://i55.tinypic.com/34nppo2.png

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    65. Holy shit, chapter 4. I mean holy shit. That was... holy shit.

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    66. @Zarkanorf
      Aw shit I lol'd so hard. This is why I publish before posting googledocs lol.

      Also, that grimdark chapter 4 holy shit. I feel awful for Applejack especially.

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    67. More! At least as an excuse to use the amzingly epic picture!

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    68. You know, this part bothered me a lot. Mainly because of how true it is to our own history. Did you know that hardly a cave is found where there is no sign of cannibalism? This chapter probably describes very true events a thousand times over somewhere in reality.

      The other thing is the thought of discussing the subject of food with your soon-to-be victims is rather unsettling. A world with many sentient species would provide for that creepy conversation, I suppose.

      For once I feel very un-pony-like and want to step onto the scene as the human-- the creature that scoffs at the food chain and the circle of life. The creature that kills what threatens it in the slightest and simply refuses to be eaten. If I could get flaming hair and glowing eyes like twilight I would! Bwahahah.

      So good work. Its pushing my buttons obviously.

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    69. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+yApril 3, 2011 at 7:20 PM

      My...My God.
      At first this was all "Assassin's Creed" stuff but then it...
      Damn dude. That drew me in like negative mass.
      Loved it.

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    70. Holy shit man. This is touching shit and I expect an epic in the traditional sense to emerge from these trips to the past.

      Just... damn.

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    71. Awwwwwww snap. Cannot wait for future chapters!

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    72. Maaaannnnn... I'd hate such a dilemma.. You're a good author, and I mean it. I'd do just what Applejack would've done, and i definitely can't wait for the net session. Desynchronization.. darn..

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    73. Oh my god...
      Just...
      Wow, this is so well made.
      Can't stop from crying.
      Eugh, I feel sick inside now.

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    74. I'm a little disappointed in your decision to invoke Identical Grandson and have the ancestor ponies have the same appearance, personality, and job as their mane cast counterparts. I know this sounds harsh, but it seems kind of lazy to me. I think we could have figured out the analogs without it being so blatant.

      Now let me cushion the blow by saying that's the only real criticism I have of this fic so far! It's not a huge problem -- I can shrug it off pretty easily, and I'm aware it might be deliberate if you're working up to a reincarnation angle at the end.

      The Animus spell is pretty funny, and the mysterious, vaguely ominous nature of the Ascension is reminding me of Tales of Symphonia. I'm intrigued!

      I can only imagine if two of their ancestors wound up 'involved' at some point. Awk-waaaaard!
      (And presumably bi, since their genes got passed down...)

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    75. One other note, overthinking things:
      I think it's kind of funny that you set this in Ponyville, because I'm of the opinion that Ponyville was established fairly recently, long after the old castle was ruined and the Everfree Forest formed. It has the feel of a frontier town -- a relatively small, agrarian population, light on the industry, and only a few rather plain civic buildings. This doesn't seem like a town with a thousand-year history to it.

      Therefore, I'd better see some nuclear fireworks before this is done. >:D

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    76. Okay, time for Fridge Logic and conjecture.
      (I just read all four chapters today since I've now finished the April Fools' submissions.)

      I'm highly curious about Midnight's memory from the intro, because it sounded like a heroic sacrifice, and Twi shouldn't have access to any genetic memories that were formed after the conception of Midnight's last child.

      Unless, that is, one of the other five mixed in to Twi's family line at some point and that memory could fill in the gaps. Which would make one of the girls her distant cousin. Wow.
      Presumably, having representatives from at least 6 different viewpoints of the same event should give us an uncomfortably clear picture.

      And Nuke, because you're just copying what AC did, I'll forgive you for invoking genetic memory in the first place. This time. ;)

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    77. @LordOfTheWrongs There's a reason why they have to have the same personality archetypes. It's not exactly reincarnation but...
      Although I'll give you the fact that I was being lazy with their appearances.

      inb4IburndownyeOldePonyville
      trollolololololol

      Um, that was Midnight's mother dying. It started from the point of Midnight's birth, so I don't know where you got that Midnight was the mother from...

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    78. all the sync made me think that zis was somekind of crossover

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    79. >brony says I'd have the new chapter out on Monday or Tuesday
      >get it done Wednesday
      SCHEDULES HOW DO THEY WORK?

      Anyways, was able to squeeze out enough room from my schedule to write up a new part. But now I have some Statistics homework I really need to take care of!

      Somehow more grimdark sneaked its way into this chapter. I promise not every chapter will have grimdark from now on! I promise! It mostly stemmed from the fact that I needed all the ponies to be involved in the trips to the past... so I came up with a way... meh.

      Anyways, hope everypony enjoys and isn't turned off by the grimdark parts. It's necessary and I don't even include excruciating amounts of detail.

      Also, I have IRC now if anypony's interested in talking with me: irc://dalnet/drizzlyrain

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    80. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    81. @nukeiffum
      No, no, I'm talking about Twi's solo dive in the prologue, when it was all staticky and Midnight appeared to be telling the other ponies something like, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, save yourselves..."
      and (possibly directly to Twi) "We can't fight this fate. So save the world for us, will you?"
      The paradox is that, if she dies seconds after sayin those words, there's no way she can have a child that would carry the genetic memory of those words on to Twilight.

      I was saying there is an alternate path, though. Suppose that Midnight had a daughter shortly before the cataclysm that killed her. At some later point, Cinnamon has a son. The two kids ultimately marry and produce Twi's family line. Even though Twi is currently exploring Midnight's memories, Cinnamon's memories would also exist in her genes and could therefore relay Midnight's last words (from AC's perspective).

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    82. @LordOfTheWrongs Oh, I see what you're saying now. To be honest, I didn't think of that at all, but I already prepared a twist to the whole genetic memory thing later on, and it'll thankfully actually work around that little paradox.

      Thanks for pointing it out to me though. I like that people are reading into the story because I try to mix in little bits of foreshadowing here and there that hint at the overall plot. So kudos to you for your overanalysis.

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    83. This story is giving me chills... the good kind!

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    84. this story is too good. please make the chapters quicker...

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    85. Oh, Midnight Star
      It's in the weekly Midnight Star
      Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car
      Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know

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    86. This is going to stay readable without knowing anything about AC,right?

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    87. Heh, Applejack remains my favorite. I don't know, I always like the fighters best.

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    88. Never thought I'd see the day where I'd be actively reading and following MLP fan fiction. Guess those kinds of surprises are what make life interesting.

      Is there any way I can subscribe to some kind of alert for new chapters? I'm used to the system FF.net has...

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    89. @LordOfTheWrongs
      Oh, my.
      Awkward doesn't even BEGIN to cover it when the aforementioned ancestors actually start to leak in.

      Not that I'm complaining, since I've always liked FlutterxRarity. :D
      (Lilythyst? Hmm.)

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    90. This story is super hard to read...

      I applaud you.

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    91. I realize you apparently drew inspiration from Assassin's Creed(I never actually played the games), but does this really belong in crossover?

      Also, awesome story, I usually hate anything Grimdark, but that marvelous despite my tastes. The whole air of mystery and slow revelation is really enticing. It reminds me of reading the "Series of Unfortunate Events" when I was younger, always trying to figure our what could be happening, and every little twist is just: Le Gasp!

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    92. I just recently read all the posted chapters, and now I'm waiting for the next chapter with baited breath. I do wonder though, are we gonna see Spike's ancestor's that would be awesome and possibly scary at the same time. Also, it would certainly help elaborate on the relationship between ponies and dragons, something I think you could do exceptionally well.

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    93. @Aquaman52 Refresh EqD every hour or so. That's what I do anyways. (ponies all day erryday)

      @NeverGoBak It doesn't really belong in Crossover, but the tag is vague enough to cover the content. This story isn't normal enough to be Normal, and not grimdark enough to be Grimdark, so Crossover implies some grimdark yet can still be normal or something. I don't really know. Crossover tag stays despite the lack of any real Crossovering.

      @Benschachar Dragons and griffons and whatnot will eventually possibly be involved somehow.

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    94. @nukeiffum I have this page bookmarked in Firefox. That's the closest I'll probably ever get to my version of normality. XD

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    95. Wanna know what you should have totally done?

      Somebody once pointed out that in the mural-like opening sequence, Celestia's colors didn't match her current ones in the opening sequence of the first episode until *after* Nightmare Moon was banished, setting out one or two fanon ideas that Celestia looked different when she was merely the ruler of the Sun.

      Also, I kinda felt you should have given the main group's ancestors differing personalities. Desmond himself was rather different from Altair and Ezio, after all. Still, you said yourself that you have your own reasons for writing all the characters as you did. But keeping so many locales, events, personalities and everything else nearly identical doesn't help me imagine a Ponyville from 1000+ years prior, I just see Ponyville. The characters don't even change in my mental picture, I have to almost make the extra effort to imagine other ponies, and that this isn't just a fic about grimdark tidings falling upon Ponyville and the main cast.

      Still, I'll wait and see how you finish this out!

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    96. @Sharkman

      Damn comment system...I mean to say that when I said "you totally should have done X" I didn't mean it literally, I meant in a jovial sort of sense.

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    97. @Sharkman It's totally cool. I plan for the setting to move away from Ponyville in future chapters, so the past world will be plenty explored.

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    98. SESSION 5 DONE. Time for my infodump on how I felt about writing it.
      >it sucked
      THAT'S ALL FOLKS.

      No, but seriously. This was another one of those "transition chapters" that's such a pain to write. I was planning something completely different as a start to the new Act, but then I got to the end and was like WELP, MAYBE THIS'LL WORK BETTER.

      And that's where that tweest came from. I'm hoping I was able to clearly convey Midnight's feelings in this chapter, even though it got somewhat sloppy near the end of it.

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    99. HEY GUIZE!
      I JUST WROTE SESSION 6 RIGHT AFTER WRITING SESSION 5.
      LIKE WTF MAN SESSION 5 ISN'T EVEN UP YET.
      SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS?
      asldjasl;dfka;f'agl'gka;gja;fgafl;gmn
      My brain is full of pony. ;_;

      Anyways, having Session 6 come out right after Session 5 kinda ruins the cliffhanger Session 5 set up. So if you all don't mind, postpone reading Session 6 for about a day after reading Session 5. Please?
      ...I know that's not going to happen.

      Also, tried to make Session 6 less bogged down in grimdarkiness. This story needs amusing comedy moments too! Hopefully everything was executed satisfactorily...

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    100. @nukeiffum

      NOOOOOO!

      WHYY CLIFFHANGER WHYYYY?

      ...why do you abuse me so, nuke?

      ...I seriously cannot wait.

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    101. Argh! I'm hopeful, but I'm sure something darkish is gonna happen, though of course none of the mane 6 can die, thats good... I think...

      Also somewhat nice save there between 5-6.

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    102. Right now, this story arc is the only reason my F5 key is completely worm through.

      I don't have the right words to adequately express how hooked I am, and how much I'm loving this story.

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    103. "Shake your mane back and forth" I lol'd

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    104. @nukeiffum
      Believe me, I know the feeling.

      WRITE!
      I have work in the morning...
      WRITE!
      But I need some sleep--
      WRITE DAMMIT!
      Okay! Okay! How about if I just jot down these ideas before I forget them?
      ...
      It's two AM, isn't it.

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    105. I'm curious about the latin. My extremely inexpert translation would be, "I would avoid what will be tomorrow. Not everypony will die."

      I'm really liking the way their society reflects being a prey species, but that prayer freaks me out a little. I mean, a psychological crutch is one thing, but literal physical effects? If I were an evil overlord in a sci-fi, I'd totally give my prey species a self-administered grief remover. Do I even need to say that I don't trust this "goddess"?

      >Day of Ascension
      >lead us to paradise
      ...oh, FUCK. This Ascension wouldn't happen to involve Kool-Aid, would it?

      Yeah, I'm one cynical sonofabitch, but you're doing a fantastic job of insinuating that there's something horribly askew here that nobody's talking about. You've got me jumping at shadows every time an unfamiliar reference comes up, and I'm loving it.

      And now I'll leave part 6 for tomorrow, totally out of respect for the author's wishes and not because I'm tired or anything.

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    106. "RAPE! RAPE!!"

      Dear lord I laughed far too hard at that.

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    107. >tagged Normal again
      /i'mokaywiththis.jpg

      @Anonymous They can't die, but horrible mutilation is always an alternative. :3

      @LordOfTheWrongs "Do not ask what tomorrow brings. Not all of me will die." I threw the latin in because it's a prayer, and all prayers have to be pretentious. It's also incredibly vague foreshadowing that nopony will ever understand. Yay for that.

      BECAUSE YOU KNOW, IT'S TOTALLY NOT LIKE DRUGS TO KEEP EVERYPONY HAPPY AND UNDER CONTROL. It's totally not like that. Honest. 4srs. Besides, isn't that what all religions are? :3
      /inb4religiousdebate

      >Kool-Aid
      I don't get it. >__>

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    108. @LordOfTheWrongs

      The day of Ascension is clearly the day when Luna and Celestia acquire their God-like magical talent. I presume this also ties in with giving the unicorns the great deal of magic they have in the present, which makes ponies outside the food chain because magic is a game breaker of epic proportions.

      Also, I assume the reason the old ponies have the same personalities as the mane cast is so the Elements of Harmony can figure into the plot.

      Benschachar (forgot to login)

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    109. @nukeiffum
      Yeah, see, when latin is involved I get all tangled up in declensions and tenses and stuff. And wiktionary isn't much help.

      >Besides, isn't that what all religions are? :3
      Yeah, well, Marx didn't have access to "sufficiently advanced technology"...

      >Kool-Aid
      The direct reference is to the Jim Jones cult, who committed mass suicide via cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, but I'm really thinking more of Heaven's Gate.

      @Anonymous
      Well, sure, obviously. That doesn't mean the process isn't powered by, for example, the life force of 90% of the world's ponies.
      I've played enough JRPGs to be highly suspicious of any plan that ends with "...and then I'll become a god."

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    110. @LordOfTheWrongs I found the phrases while googling for latin phrases. What would we do without Google?

      And that Heaven's Gate is pretty interesting. It's horrible, but it's interesting. Maybe... nah.

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    111. @nukeiffum
      NO DRUGS? But OBVIOUSLY your story is a pony-version of Brave New World!

      Anyway... I have to say this. I'm looking forward to updates from this more than Goodwill Tour. Not because it's better, but the setting is more surreal almost (violence and death in Equestria is so weird to me still, even though I like grimdarks), creative, and the violence is believable but not excessive. I like the setting more, I really do. Keep it up nukeiffum.

      ReplyDelete
    112. Hahaha, yeah, is this healing heartache or "take your Prozium"?

      If the latter, I want my Equilibrium gun-fu ponies. :D

      Equuilibrium? Hmmm.... dibs!

      ReplyDelete
    113. "rape! RAPE!" fukken lol'd

      ReplyDelete
    114. @Anonymous
      *le gasp*
      That actually makes perfect sense as to why the characters are the same. Kudos to you!

      ReplyDelete
    115. @Anonymous
      @Anonymous
      Maybe. >______>

      @9Nine9 Well I don't think my writing will ever get to the level of Luna's Goodwill Tour, but I try to make up for my lack of literary skill with an interesting and captivating plot and setting.

      Anyways, Session 7 is up! I struggled a bit with the beginning, but about halfway through I got into it and it seemed to flow naturally. An interesting new character has appeared, and I think the hint I dropped is big enough that most people could piece some things together. If you know your constellations.

      This chapter was mostly laid back and explored the dynamics and relationships with the characters a bit more. It ended up being 5k instead of 4k... but that's okay. It took a bit more time to flesh out the new character than I planned for.

      Hope everypony enjoys.

      ReplyDelete
    116. Aww, Session 7 is blocked from normal viewers! Access denied!

      ReplyDelete
    117. this is pretty epic.

      i really rather read about the mane ponies but

      this kind of epic tale makes up for the OCs

      ReplyDelete
    118. I have this page opened in my browser for some time now, waiting for the right moment when I have enough time to read it, but it just keeps growing and growing XD

      ReplyDelete
    119. @Anonymous You sure? It seems to be working for everypony else...

      @Anonymous The mane cast will take the spotlight eventually, don't worry.

      ReplyDelete
    120. So is this Goddess the method to achieve apotheosis for Luna and Celestia. They use the prayer as a chant to take the life/magic force inherent in ponies to store as an enormous battery. If so, I can only imagine that there is a stable time loop somewhere because I can only imagine that this knowledge is verboten to anyone outside of the rulers and that if the old versions knew this they would be hunted down like Dreben. Of course, midnight is Celestia and Luna's adopted sister so it's just as possible they would all be pardoned. Curse you, nukeiffum. Your foreshadowing only creates more questions.

      ReplyDelete
    121. @Benschachar Part of that is right, part of that is wrong. Which is which, I'm not saying.

      I like you, catching onto all my hints like that. Keep it up in future installments, m'kay?

      ReplyDelete
    122. Okay so I tried to read this in one sitting. A-MAZ-ING. The ancestors being so similiar to the mane cast is a bit of a bother, since it'd be interesting to see clashing personalities (like Pinkie's ancestor acting like Rarity or something) but it makes sense story-wise.

      And Applejack trying to save Sundae and failing over and over was heartbreaking. Actually that whole Collection sequence was f*cked up. Good job.

      I can't wait to read more of this. Oh, I caught the Deneb meaning, I knew that word was familiar. Clever pony.

      ~*KA*~

      ReplyDelete
    123. I am absolutely loving this so far. I was kinda meh on part 7 though. Quite a few tense errors and the dialogue didn't quite flow right in some parts. Still, I'm just nitpicking. This is a great story and I can't wait for the next installment.

      ReplyDelete
    124. And how ARE Altair and Vega doing? (Technically the Summer Triangle is an asterism, not a constellation. Heh.)

      ReplyDelete
    125. Hmm... apparently rogue wolves plus mysterious hunted pony. I think I know where this is going, and I think Skyline and Cinnamon will appreciate the extra firepower.

      ReplyDelete
    126. @LordOfTheWrongs I already showed what happened to Vega. DOHOHOHOHOHO.
      But seriously, I don't really think many people remember who she was... eh. I'll just reaffirm who she is when the need arises.

      And I'll keep it constellation since most people don't know what an asterism is (I sure didn't know what that was anyways). Even Firefox spellcheck doesn't know what an asterism is!

      ReplyDelete
    127. Well, that kinda stinks. I accidentally spoiled a good chunk of the story trying to view this in Opera. So a word of advice, people: DON'T TRY TO VIEW THIS IN OPERA!!! You will get a Google Docs error message, click in a few random places, see a few paragraphs appear, think that that's all there is, proceed to view the other entries and try to make sense of them, view the comments and realize they're referring to things that never seemed to happen, and try to type in a comment explaining your issue (which also doesn't work) BEFORE trying another browser and then kicking yourself for having spoiled important plot points.

      ...or, at least that's what happened to me.
      [/sanitylapse]

      ReplyDelete
    128. @nukeiffum
      Oh, I wasn't saying to change it. I'm just a dork. ^^

      >I already showed what happened to Vega.
      *clicks back to chapter 1.5*
      *runs a text search*
      *brick*
      Yeah, it didn't mean anything particular at the time except me thinking, "That's a nice name!"
      ...
      "Midnight, Obi-Wan never told you about your father..."
      ...
      Don't tell me Altair is going to show up in a big white robe... :D

      Argh, the suspense is killing me, here! I've got three different ideas on the nature of that amulet, one Chrono Trigger reference, and a bevy of guesses about exactly what the hell that prayer does!
      I'm going to start drawing flowcharts soon, you hear me?? Flowcharts!

      ReplyDelete
    129. @LordOfTheWrongs
      >flowcharts
      >for poni fanfiction
      DON'T DO IT MAN WHATEVER LEFT OF YOUR SANITY DEPENDS ON IT. I'M TELLIN' YA IT'S A BAD IDEA MAN.
      Altair's going to be mentioned eventually. When or how I'm still thinking about it.

      @Anonymous
      >sadfrog.jpg

      ReplyDelete
    130. Session 8 is finished. Somehow it became another longer one again.

      The beginning was kinda tough to write because EXPOSITION EVERYWHERE. I really don't know if it's possible to bring something like that up naturally, and I had to make sure that the geography I decide on now is something I'll be happy with in the future, so that took some time to get presentable.

      That one part in the middle area. You know that part. I don't know what came over me. I really don't. But it was in character. Kind of. Sort of. Not really. I don't really know. Why did I write that? Why? Don't kill me. I'm too young to die. ;___;

      And I wasn't planning on revealing that tidbit of info about Midnight yet, but people are like "LOL SUMMER TRIANGLE VEGA WHO'S THAT?" so I needed a reminder. And what better way to shoehorn in a reminder than with new information?

      Because apparently that's why this chapter is maybe longer than I possibly expected. Supposedly.
      (number of people who will see what I did there: -1)

      ReplyDelete
    131. You took my advice to name Gilda's ancestor Revy.

      You are the best writer ever.

      ReplyDelete
    132. "This griffon's name was Revy..."

      HA! I see what you did there. Love that show.

      Anyway, just as spectacular as always. Keep up the phenomenal work!

      ReplyDelete
    133. So Midnight's father is either Altair or Deneb, probably Deneb.

      ReplyDelete
    134. Dude, not for nothing, but how the hell were we following Pastel Lollipop and Lily at the start of the 7th chapter? The Animus (and by extension, this spell) can only follow your ancestors, and by all accounts, it means we should have only been able to follow Midnight and Skylline, since it's only Rainbow and Twilight that were using the spell this time around.

      ReplyDelete
    135. @Sharkman
      He addressed this while he and I were talking earlier this week; it's on purpose actually.

      ReplyDelete
    136. And after reading this part, I really love the pacing you have going.

      Okay, sure, that middle part was funny as fuck. But it seemed casual enough and believable among friends who are indeed adults (too be honest, my friends have made worse jokes over literally 1 random line we found in a romance novel that we found accidentally). It made me laugh way too hard I think though.

      But really, everything you do seems to write itself. I mean, all they did this chapter was walk into town, unsuccessfully find a hotel, and go back to someone's house. And it felt like a really appropriate length, with natural dialog and fun interactions. Also important story additions and explanations.

      ReplyDelete
    137. @Sharkman If you analyze the crap out of the Intermission, you should be able to figure it out. I'll make it explicit how that's able to happen later on though.

      @9Nine9 A bit more was supposed to happen this chapter, like how I was planning to end it with Skyline and Revy having a conversation. And it was Cinnamon who was supposed to have the spiel instead of Midnight. But too many people were like "LOL WHO'S VEGA" that I decided to push back Skyline/Revy and Cinnamon for the next chapter or so.

      I really didn't know what happened with that whole silly conversation either. My mind probably broke after having to write pure exposition.

      ReplyDelete
    138. Parts 7 and 8 were great. Although...reading these comments, I can't help but feel I missed a veritable SLEW of references to other things. Someone have mercy and let this poor idiot in on the joke...

      "ANGRY SEX TIME!"

      ReplyDelete
    139. Ah, I picked up on it *this* time. I have a bad habit of skimming sometimes.

      ReplyDelete
    140. @nukeiffum
      Um.

      I'm afraid you've just had a Learning Experience.

      I'm going to have to be pretty harsh on this chapter. The exposition section absolutely slaughters the momentum right off the bat. I know you're doing some heavy-duty world building here, but to be brutally honest, if this were page 1 of a fic I wasn't already invested in, I'd have stopped reading before I ever saw the name Revy.

      I completely understand how proud you are of what you've created, and you want us to see all the clever history you've built up here. But imagine for a moment if you started telling this to your best friend over lunch. Imagine the look he just gave you. Now realize that the reader doesn't know you personally. Ouch, right?
      In a case like this, I like to keep notes on the important facts I'd like to expose. Then you have to exercise the discipline to only bring them up when it becomes interesting to do so. It's true, you may never get around to discussing the history of Gyren, and crumpling up notes is the hardest thing an author ever has to do. But if those notes never became relevant to the story, they must not have been that important after all.

      Now, in this particular case you can cheat a little bit. Since you already established that the modern cast doesn't have direct access to all their proxies' knowledge, you can relate their reactions to this information as it becomes available. That would really spice up what is quite honestly a pretty bland wall of text. (And of course you know that Skyline seeing the sun glinting off the brass dome on the Central Merchant Guildhall, or whatever, would be better than discussing it in an aside.)

      Whew. OK, infoslog done. Back to the fun part.

      ANGRY SEX TIME! XD

      >"Good thing it was Skyline's friend, right? What're the chances?"
      Indeed... ¬_¬

      >Vega raped and abandoned
      Yeah, I don't buy that for a second. I'm more inclined to believe a story that includes phrases like "breeding program", "extreme potential", "worth dying for", and "deep undercover".

      @Sharkman
      I suspect the spell is already linked to all participants, whether they're in the room or not. Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy are asleep in their beds, dreaming ancient dreams. :)

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    141. @LordOfTheWrongs
      "In her boutique called Carousel, great Rarity waits dreaming."


      By the way, a king and queen should be referred to as Their Majesties. Princes and princesses are Your Highness.

      ReplyDelete
    142. This story is amazing, although the stuff in the latest part seemed a little forced.

      ReplyDelete
    143. @LordOfTheWrongs

      Funny , I for one quite liked the history of Gyren part, but was like "-Huh? Whyyy..." at *that* one section.

      ReplyDelete
    144. I'm not sure why this took such a huge shift toward lighthearted since the death and kidnapping... I mean, I understand trying to lighten it up a little after the near-grimdark scene--I don't even like grimdark stories--but... not all the way to gigglefits and angry sex time.

      Heck, Cinnamon hasn't expressed any worries, or "let's hurry up," or ANYTHING about her little sister in... how long? It feels like a lot of the tension has slipped away, and I'm sad...

      I think some of the tension issue is also due the exposition that LordoftheWrongs mentioned. Cutting out 1/2 to 3/4 of that and having the rest happen as conversation or more naturally would do the chapter a great favor.

      I'm going to keep reading, though, because I'm well hooked, I'm interested, I'm IN. I still have hopes that this will take a turn back toward the epic. Please going, Nuke!

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    145. @LordOfTheWrongs Yeah, I admit that the exposition in this chapter was could have really been done better, and I could've simply said "Gyren was a merchant town run by griffons, end of story." However, I wanted to be specific on why such the town would be strange. I also wanted to establish the geography now so it doesn't look like I'm going to be asspulling all those places later.

      That exposition you saw there was actually the lite version, as horrible as that seems. I managed to catch myself from just infodumping on EVERYTHING, to noticing what parts would be better off placed much farther away in the future and what should be included now.

      But yeah, I'll try to go easy on the exposition whenever I can. Sometimes it just sorta slips out though, and I hope you understand.

      Also, why wouldn't that story be true? Themis and Ambrosia have no reason to lie to Midnight, do they? :3

      @CupcakesNom HEY. HEY. IS THAT THE SOUND OF YOU LETTING DOWN YOUR GUARD? I THINK IT IS. THANK YOU FOR FALLING FOR MY TRA--waitwhat?
      /trollface.jpg

      I was originally planning to have Cinnamon angst in this session, but Midnight stole the spotlight with her infospiel that I had to dump. She'll be angsty in the next couple sessions, don't worry.

      I'll try to have the next part up before Wednesday. I would've done it today if it wasn't for sleep deprivation, and Monday and Tuesday I have stuff to do... so I'm aiming for Wednesday. Hope that's not too bad of a wait.

      ReplyDelete
    146. I'm continuing to love this story, but I felt part 8 was kinda shaky. Some of the tension has definitely left, and the whole rape thing seemed a bit forced. Still, the good parts far outweigh the flaws. Can't wait for part 9.

      ReplyDelete
    147. @nukeiffum
      >Themis and Ambrosia have no reason to lie to Midnight, do they? :3
      I believe I mentioned before, I'm a suspicious bastard. :D
      Actually, T&A's conversation in the maternity ward leads me to believe that at least Ambrosia bought Vega's story. Themis could be construed as over-eager to spread that tale, but maybe not.

      Unless Themis is actually Altair, but I somehow think he'd have said something before now if that were the case.

      P.S. I'm glad to see Midnight diverging somewhat from Twi's personality. I would never expect Twi to declare "Angry sex time". :)
      Well, I know, kids' show and all, but you get my drift.

      ReplyDelete
    148. ...Uuunless Themis is a lot more tyrannical than I thought, and one of the nurses was actually an assassin ordered to ensure Vega died in childbirth so she would never have the opportunity to teach Midnight the truth about the Goddess.

      ReplyDelete
    149. >say I'll get a part done Wednesday
      >don't get a full part finished
      ┐('~`;)┌

      I sent a mini-update to somewhat keep my word to Seth. It's about half the length of a regular chapter, but whatever yo. I'm hard at work on Session 9 and I /might/ have it done today, but if I don't then at least I got something up.

      @LordOfTheWrongs YOU'LL NEVER FIGURE OUT THE TRUTH AHAHAHAHA.
      Also, Vega gave Midnight a blessing from the Goddess before she died. Think on that a little.

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    150. @nukeiffum
      >Also, Vega gave Midnight a blessing from the Goddess before she died.

      Ow, my conspiracy theory!

      ReplyDelete
    151. >get Session 9 done before 8.5 went up
      And not a single fuck was given that day. ヽ(´ー`)ノ

      I forgot to mention that I actually had some EDITING for 8.5. Sadly, editing won't happen much since I usually won't sent in something to be edited unless I have to leave a part overnight.

      Or if I can get through the entire editing process before Seth gets it up.
      ...
      TO THE PONYMOBILE.

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    152. My favourite story so far on this site.
      Keep up the good work!
      I like how you keep the mane characters fairly canon but have fun altering the past.

      I actually prefer the mid-length or short chapters to the really long ones, you're really good at getting across interesting scenes quickly. :)

      ReplyDelete
    153. This is one of my favorite fanfics on ED. Nuke, you are an amazing writer.

      ReplyDelete
    154. This last part was incredible. I loved the whole Dash/Revy conversation, it was pretty emotional. The occasional jokes and sexual references are kind of jarring though, considering how quickly it switches tone. Again, just nitpicking here. Cannot wait for part 10!

      ReplyDelete
    155. I'm still following this story, and I read every chapter pretty much the night it comes out. Can't wait for the next part either.

      But I hope there aren't really any more violence scenes. It was pretty much all I could do to force myself to keep reading after the description of the Collection. Still feel kind of sick when I think about it, and I read that part almost 2 weeks ago.

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    156. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    157. DAMNIT seth

      you are NOT allowed to update this without me being there. I have to maintain my weekly quota of talking to nukeiffum. I MISSED THAT QUOTA THIS WEEK SETH.

      ReplyDelete
    158. Okay now to seriously start talking again...

      I love the story, definitely, but I think some of the more sexual comments are kind of sucking me out of the setting. I mean sure I guess they only happened in the white-void, so it's kind of on purpose I guess. Especially since TS/RD are both unphased by those recent events, so okay. I guess this is a moot point.

      The conversation between skyline and revy is awesome, and revy's choice is actually one I didn't expect at all, and I approve of it. She really does care about her friends it seems, and she doesn't seem like Gilda at all.

      Keep going nukeiffum!

      ReplyDelete
    159. Just read the prologue. I like it so far, but it bother's me when Applejack is saying I and the writer types ah. That isn't how southerners talk. :/

      ReplyDelete
    160. @Saint Dane I try not to be too bogged down in drama and grimdark, so I try to inject humor where I can. I just have a strange sense of humor.

      @Anonymous There will be more scenes like that, but it'll be few and far between. I'm sure you'll be able to stomach it whenever it occurs, I try not to be too over-detailed after all.

      @9Nine9 I'm probably going to stop with the fillyfooler jokes. I think I drove them down to the ground and then some already.

      And sorry that you missed your weekly dosage of trolli-- er, I mean talking with me. Yeah, that's it.

      @Anonymous ┐('~`;)┌

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    161. Hmm... I think I'm seeing something there... With those ''prayers to the Goddess''.

      I saw a similar thing in a few books, and 1 movie.

      I theorize that the ''prayers'' system is in fact a way for the Goddess to collect the 'magical power' from the ponies and then, at the day of the Ascention, to give that cumulated Power to the 2 Princesses.

      Seems like an interesting, and logical, system to use.

      A weapon that isn't a weapon. :)

      ReplyDelete
    162. Is this inspired by Madoka or is it only my impression?

      ReplyDelete
    163. I was a little uncertain as to whether I wanted to continue reading this, but I guess if the the fillyfooler jokes cease, then I'll be able to continue with a clear conscience (I will confess, though, that even I found them somewhat amusing).

      P.S.
      THE PRINCESSES' ADVISOR HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!!!

      ReplyDelete
    164. @9Nine9
      I expect Twi's getting some leakage from Midnight, who seems to be going a little bit wild out here without her handlers and such. Preacher's Daughter syndrome.

      And with Dash, as usual, methinks she protesteth too much.

      ReplyDelete
    165. @nova_25 I don't know why you commented the same thing twice and deleted one but... ( つ Д `) is my only response.

      @Anonymous NO. NO. FUCK MADOKA. MADE ME BAWW. BAWWW HARD. DAMMIT UROBOCHI. DAMMIIIITTTTTTTTT.
      SPOILERSIreallydolikeMadokabutnoSPOILERS

      @Cyberfox
      >gets borderline grimdark at times
      >worried about fillyfooler jokes
      >mfw ( ´_ゝ`)
      But yeah, that joke got old already, so no more of it. And I don't have any more room for humor anymore.

      Anyways, I'm well into Session 10. Like, I already have 4k of it done and it's long enough to be a chapter already. Buuuuut... I haven't gotten to the story point I wanted to get to yet. So expect a 6000-7000+ word session tomorrow. Maybe. I might have to split it into two parts. Who knows.

      ReplyDelete
    166. ...I think my comment got spammed lol.

      Copypasting the only really important part:

      Anyways, I'm well into Session 10. Like, I already have 4k of it done and it's long enough to be a chapter already. Buuuuut... I haven't gotten to the story point I wanted to get to yet. So expect a 6000-7000+ word session tomorrow. Maybe. I might have to split it into two parts. Who knows.

      ReplyDelete
    167. Omg ur doing so good work with this story! You write new parts very fast and still dont run out of ideas ._.

      ReplyDelete
    168. @Anonymous It helps that I haven't hit the main plot yet. Getting there though.

      Anyways, Session 10/11 done because it ended up being almost... uhh, 9k. Yeah. So I had to split it into two parts. Unbalanced parts too since 10 is like 2-3k while 11 is... the rest. Yeah.

      Anyways, it's a doozy of an addition. And with that, the Saving Sundae arc pretty much comes to a close. Almost.

      Also, ignore the fact that nopony's connected to Revy yet what's happening to her is detailed. Everypony was uhh... close enough to see the details or something. Iderno. ┐('~`;)┌

      ReplyDelete
    169. >mfw my comments get spam filtered because I use JASCII. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

      Abridged version of the comment: 10/11 done, had to split into two parts, 9k, 10 is 2-3k, 11 is the rest, ignore how Revy's part is detailed, just pretend the ponies were near enough to see what happened or something.

      AND RESCUE SUNDAE ARC FINALE GET. Sort of.

      ReplyDelete
    170. Man. You really grabbed me there in chapter 11. Intense writing, good stuff. But now I will have to wait for the next update... Hope it won't take to long :P

      ReplyDelete
    171. 10 and 11 were amazing. The tension and the fight scenes were simply excellent. And leaving 11 on a cliffhanger like that... part 12 better come out soon.

      ReplyDelete
    172. This story is one giant anti-religious screed, isn't it? I'm only shocked that the religious authorities aren't all pedophiles at this point, really.

      ReplyDelete
    173. As cliffhangers go, this one is pretty heavy. And I hate you for it.

      In a good way.

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    174. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

      What a tweest. LIKE IN MAH ANIMES!

      ReplyDelete
    175. Confound these cliffhangers! They drive me to wait for the next chapters...

      ReplyDelete
    176. This is why I hate finding awesome long fics before they're finished.

      - See 7 part fic w/5 stars.
      - Accidentally read part 1
      - Now I NEED MORE

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    177. What scares me most about this latest update is just the idea that a part of Twilight Sparkle may be irretrievably lost and the pony whose full name is disturbingly similar to a certain series that will go unmentioned will never be the same.

      That's usually what makes for a great bittersweet story- recognizing an old friend only to ultimately say goodbye.

      I don't know if that was precisely what you were aiming for, but your definitely successful.

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    178. that bit at the end of part 11 made me think about the animus from assassins creed but really different

      ReplyDelete
    179. I'll forever be annooyed with Cliffhangers, and every one almost in this story has somewhat annoyed me. Though most are done well as an ending, they shouldn't necessarily be a damn cliffhanger for the sake of one

      This one though, on 11. Very very good, and obviously necessary for your story.

      ReplyDelete
    180. I've been a fan of this story since the beginning, but I have to be honest. I really do not like chapter 11. In fact, I hate it. It just seems like it's trying too hard to be grim and dark, and as a result is simply overdone.

      And trust me, in my stories I've had two characters in a swordfight/fistfight inside a smelting factory during a thunderstorm. I know overdone.

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    181. @Benschachar

      You have GOT to be trolling. He hasn't made any statements about religion in general, except from the mouths of a really despicable character.

      @Brian

      I liked this chapter. (I don't do grimdark, by the way.) I don't see it "trying too hard"; this is called a "Kick The Dog" moment. Fang is now established as a Complete Monster and is fair game for whatever happens to him later. This WAS a freaking insane plan, and while I'm sorry to see Revy go down, I'm not surprised. The wolves disappearing into the desert and never coming out again is really the only way the treaties could be preserved.

      As for the ending, hmmm... I prefer my failsafes to have a little more "safe" to their "fail".

      ReplyDelete
    182. @LordOfTheWrongs

      Well obviously... The writer has a plan... and everything will turn out just peachy.............

      or not........
      guess we'll have to find out...

      ReplyDelete
    183. @LordOfTheWrongs

      Guess I should apologize for that remark, it was very rude of me.

      ReplyDelete
    184. @morri908
      That certainly covers all the possibilities...

      ReplyDelete
    185. HOLY SHIT WHAT JUST HAPPENED


      SUBMIT THOSE CHAPTERS FASTER DAMMIT!!1 INFINITY STARS

      ReplyDelete
    186. @Anonymous

      THIS. MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO TWILIGHT.

      ReplyDelete
    187. take your time writing! I will rather have good fic later than bad fic now.

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    188. Man, was I the only one that got shivers up and down my spine when Revy swooped in for her sneak attack?

      But I can't believe you didn't let them get away! Now I'll have to wait in anticipation until the next session! And what happened to Midnight... I don't even! Will she be OK, or is she really done?

      ARRGH, so many questions!

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    189. The ending of this last chapter was so confusing

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    190. This is quite possibly the best MLP:FiM fanfiction I have read!

      I await further chapters with baited breath!

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    191. @Benschachar I don't have anything against any religion, so it's not. Any negative comments against religion in this story is purely to forward the story, and not because I have some ulterior motive.

      @Brian But it was an action scene, not a grimdark one. ;_; If you're referring to the stallion and the mare, I really just killed them like that because I can't be assed to create proper characters and roles for them. They're just nameless casualties #X and #X+1.

      @Anonymous It's supposed to be. /trollface.jpg

      Anyways, I have good news and bad news for my status update. Good news is that I have the next chapter at 4k words. Bad news is that there's still some ways to go before it's done.

      CONFOUND YOU ENSEMBLE CASTS YOU DRIVE ME TO LONG CHAPTERS.

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    192. >finish writing new content
      >have to split it into two parts again
      ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

      Anyways, feel free to skim through all my pseudo-science in Intermission 3. I have a feeling it'll be interesting to some, but not to others.

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    193. So many misplaced commas. ]:

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