• Story: Dashed (Updated part 2!)

    [Grimdark] More Dash stuff, minus the shipping. Written by Ninja Fanpire(?)
    Description: When Rainbow Dash takes a dive into the Everfree Forest, her friends must go searching for her. But at the end of their journey, will they be able to handle what they find?

    And the new Part 2!
    Description:Everypony assumed Dash was, well, Dashed. Gone. But when a familiar rainbow haired friend returns to Ponyville, will she be met with open arms?
    Dashed: Aftermath  (New!)


    1. Warning: This Anon's Thoughts on reading this story might cause distress, so don't read what is written below if you don't want to fear for someone actually writing a story based on the idea.

      Pretty Dark... but I can think of worse, Rainbow lives after losing her wings, contracts a bone disease due to some infection.(Pegasus might have hollow bones like a bird)

      This leads Rainbow to slowly dropping off the precipe of mental strength to the point that she'd end up seeing things Silent Hill style.

      The bone disease would eventually be cured but Rainbow would forever be a ground pony after that, forcing herself to live for her friends in agony of her lost dreams.

      Don't get me wrong I prefer happier ending then something like that, I can think of things far worse then an unknown hopefully relatively quick death.

    2. Ummm... Not really sure if RD really kicked it. It seemed kinda ambiguous. I mean, if she was fed up with her life in Ponyville, and wanted to disappear, she could have ripped out her feathers and cut off her tail, achieving a similar effect.

    3. This is a good example of why I should pay attention to grimdark tags and not thing 'Oh it can't be that bad'.

      It's... Pretty dark. It's not badly written, but if you're a Dash fan you probably should stay away from this one.

    4. No pony thought to check on the contents of what Zecora had bubbling away? [spoiler]Soylent green is pony[/spoiler]

    5. I'm gonna say that this one, although short, made more impact than a lot of the grimdark stories out there. It hurts more when the characters are in character rather than doing such things as in the infamous "Cupcakes" story.

      I found myself realizing that this was the call for all the characters to wake up and join the real world where things don't have happy endings. Appropriately enough, I realized this at the end of the story, when I have to stop reading about ponies and go to work at a thankless job that I dislike along with people I would rather not spend the day with.

      Extra praise for injecting agonizing realism into an already depressing story. . . . geez, this is how I enjoy starting my days? CONFOUND THESE FAN FICS!

    6. They drive us to think! (Really though, I just had to get this pun out to lighte the mood)

    7. PErsonally, I'm not that impressed. It's an average fanfic. No, it's not badly written, but it's not well written either. I don't understand the compulsion to write things like this. It's like people can't handle something with a pleasant or at least neutral tone.

      THere's no real resolution in the story. I realize that real life rarely has such closure, but I also realize that this isn't real life, unless the world was conquered by 5 hand tall ponies while I was sleeping.

      I think three stars would be generous. It's just not that good a story.

    8. Didn't like it that much. No explanation at all, all they ever get is the bag. And then they're sad. The end.

    9. Lol @Anons Soylent green reference.

    10. whatthefuckisthisshit.jpg

      It's far too easy to make a hopeless, directionless story about death, rape or torture and pretend it's "dark".

      "Fluttershy was tending some otters in winter, when she slipped through a crack in frozen river. Applejack saw it but was too late to stop her being swept away under the ice, and just had to watch her drown through the cold clear surface, Fluttershy frantically trying to breathe, screaming silently."

      I enjoy horror, from classic gothic novels to slasher and zombie flicks, but the only way to make outright grotesquery work with something as cute and funny as MLP:FiM would be some kind of satire or parody.

      If "grimdark" is a tag which means "pointless violent crap" at least I can avoid it in future.

      Wow, I took this way too seriously.

    11. It was a pretty good story, but I think everyone gave up on Dash waaaaaay too easily at the end. All they knew at that point is that she was missing her feathers and some of her tail hair, and that she probably lost them violently. She could still be somewhere in the forest, wounded and unable to fly, and her asshole "friends" just give up and leave her for dead after about four to six hours of searching?

      Keeping what really happened ambiguous is fine, but not providing solid proof that she's actually dead just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

    12. Does it ALWAYS have to be Dash? :(

    13. Yes, it always has to be Dash.

      I think when someone wants to write about some pony getting killed or brutally maimed, Dash is the most inviting target BECAUSE she's the one who's core concept is 'athletically talented tomboy'. It's some strange variant of the Worf Effect. Want to show off how tough this dude is on Star Trek? Well, have him toss Worf into a wall! Result: Worf goes headfirst into almost as many walls as Rainbow Dash does. If a pony is going to get crippled, Dash has (theoretically) more impact that Pinkie Pie in traction. If you turned Pinkie into a quadriplegic, all you'd really do is force her to throw stationary parties.

      But yeah, the story did seem to fall apart a bit at the end. What happened to Dash? Was she eaten by a bag? How did Zecora find her? Did this strange non-rhyming Zecora boil down Dash's broken by still living body to distill some evil enchantment potion?



    14. @Anonymous

      I totally avoid grimdark like the plague, and this comment is why.

      You guys are nuts. But I'll upload your crazy fics anyway I guess...


      I liked part 1, like 4/5. Part 2 I found to be 0/5. It pretty much just retconned the first one COMPLETELY, and emotionlessly.

      "Yeah, I faked my own death and put you all through misery for the sake of my own vanity. Y'all forgive me?"

    16. Okay, who called it? Who called it?

      Nice ending, though.

    17. An amnesia story (although more cliché) would fit a lot better in my opinion. In fact not making a 2nd part would be the best option.

    18. Gets props for not making it all Dash Death-ish in the second chapter. And still pretty decently written.

      But it just doesn't quite strike me as something Dash'd do. She's the one that represents the spirit of loyalty, after all. Become recluse with the aid of her friends, maybe. Not hurt them by faking her death.

    19. I didn't read the first one. But the second was pretty good. I was expecting something as depressing as Bittersweet, but the second is actually kind of happy. After reading some comments, I am definitely _not_ going to read the first part.

    20. I was halve expecting that when rainbow dash flew downstairs that she would show off an array of scars just under her wings. Good story though, kept me busy while I was board.

    21. I really… I'm sorry, but this could use some workshopping or a beta reader or something.

      The second part is just all sorts of whiplash. Dash putting her friends through that for that reason? Zecora willingly being party to inflicting that sort of emotional pain, and then aiding in the action of the story? Everyone immediately being okie-dokey with what happened, at a party?
      Aside from being out of character, the story is sapped of it's point. "Some bad things happened, but actually it's all okay and after everything went back to how it was before."

    22. As others have said, Dash embodies the element of loyalty. She would never emotionally scar all of her friends over something like that. Everyone seems really out of character, and the plot's very unbelievable. Sorry.

    23. Too much out of character ...
      The Aftermath was just wrong ... there where practically only Rainbow, pinkie and twilight involved ...

      RD shouldn't have been able to start her speach ... i expectet pinkie to embrace RD while being in tears and just being happy ...
      That none of the other ponies did something was rather arkward too.

      The author needs some test reader that atleast try to stay objective ... this story has pontential

    24. I am not impressed. Dash's friends clearly don't like her very much, if they take such ambiguous evidence as good reason to give up, and she clearly doesn't like them very much in return if she would rather have them think her dead and not see any of them for five years than let them see her unable to fly, and they reaffirm the fact that they don't like her by the fact that they don't even mind that Dash pulled that crap.

    25. I am not impressed. Dash's friends clearly don't like her very much, if they take such ambiguous evidence as good reason to give up, and she clearly doesn't like them very much in return if she would rather have them think her dead and not see any of them for five years than let them see her unable to fly, and they reaffirm the fact that they don't like her by the fact that they don't even mind that Dash pulled that crap.