• Toy Review: Guardians of Chocolate Milk or Disappointment of a Demigod


    WeAreBorg back again with my second ever merch review. Ya’ll liked the first enough that I plan on continuing these reviews regularly. As you can see, this time around I have some of the hottest toys hitting online shelves right now-Guardians of Harmony: Fan Series Discord and Celestia. I was supposed to have gotten Nightmare Moon as well, but Sunbutt managed to banish her UPS box to another zipcode, so we’ll see her later on.

    Join me below for big toys, chocolate milk, and some serious scowls.



    Guardians of Harmony Fan Series
    Discord

    Imprisoned for a 1000 hours

    So the Guardians of Harmony and the Fan Series collector models like these, all have a much more serious overtone to them than your average Gen. 4 pony toy. The box art straight away warns you, it’s not all Rainbow and sunshine, with an intense Discord on the front and a scowling one on the side. Inside however, the model is just the opposite. He’s your smug, king of the world, draconequus you know and love. Eyes closed, ready to sip from his glass some delicious chocolate milk.

    For collectors, the box has a big window on the front and slice on the side. There’s another special collectors feature I’ll get to in a minute.

    The many faces of chaos

    The sides and back have your expected translations of “Friendship is Magic” and “Fan Series.” The side also mentions season 2, episode 2- the episode that inspired this model. In addition, the back has an inscription- “His Meddling ways often lead to trouble. This draconequus is part dragon, part pony, and all chaos!”. The back and side feature pictures of the model itself. I use the term 'model' because “Fan Series” is codename for adults and collectors. And only the best features for collectors...

    Is he eyeballing somepony? Is it Bigmac?

    So up top is a clear slot which I thought was stylistically an odd choice, stranger than the career path that lead to designing this thing, until it hit me. This was to let in light, and not just your run-of-the-mill Celestia’s sun filtering in through your dirty blinds. It was for display lighting. Let’s see how it works...

    Put the light on a rapid timer to simulate his taste in sporadic cosmic illumination.

    The left side is if it were sitting on a shelf or in other shade with no incoming light through the top. The right shows what a few watts and a fluorescent tube older than most of our readers can do. I felt this was the perfect amount of lighting to show off the figure no matter where I put him. I’m looking forward to seeing the SDCC exclusive that’s in the mail with its light-up base to see if bottom side illumination can match how well this works. Now, a good collector keeps the figure in the box. A dedicated collector bought two: one to shove Christmas lights on top of and one to open. Let’s try it out...

    It’s like trying to peel him off of a jellyfish. Also, he has a hole in his rear.

    So with about 5 10 15 mins of patience you can actually open up this thing without damaging the packaging or cutting the straps. So the first surprise is that he’s not actually attached to his chair. He’s just sitting on it...or rather he’s sitting on it with a tab up his bum to stabilize him. It’s a fit as snug as that 18th glass that Dashie downs during cider season so it sites its job. The quality was obvious right out of the box. Let’s see how it worked out...

    Behold! The Lord of Swag.

    Just as pictured on the box without the dramatic shadow lighting. A figure we have been waiting years for. I can almost imagine John de Lancie’s voice coming from it telling you how much it’s about to ruin your day. I really feel that they captured the show accuracy of Discord very well. We’ve seen previews of the rest of the GoH toy line and they too have been given that never before seen show accuracy, and the Fan Series Discord is the pinnacle. I could immediately tell I would be rotating out my Funko Discord as one of my centerpieces with this. Let's take a look at his size…

    More fun than a barrel of Rainbow Dashes

    Scale wise, he’s just about in line with the brushable ponies. This is great, because the large size allows this collector’s piece to stand out. For only about $30, it’s also one of the best buys I’ve seen. It truly commands its space. The details really stand out, especially on his smug mug. Let’s take a closer look...

    Such nostril detail.

    Zoomed in, you can see the probably unavoidable seem through the face. But it's handled well and that is important. I'd agree with Discord that there isn't much that can rival his face for sheer beauty. I might have tried to get a clear plastic for the glass rim, but now that I think about it, it's probably painted. Let’s see how the rest of his molding turned out…

    Is the paint perfect if it’s imperfect on a being of chaos?

    Ouch! It's not too bad, but not ideal. A hazard of molded plastic manufacturing. Still the king of chaos though. The wife agrees this is one of the best pieces of my massive collection. I was wondering if really it was the throne that makes it. Those accessories can do wonders. Let's test that…

    Arguably more chaotic to the fandom

    Yeah, it's totally the throne. All my figures need one. Twilight Sparkle needs to be the Queen of Chaos. I think if Hasbro made the throne chairs from her castle for mane6 figures to sit in, that would be the coolest thing. Still, maybe I’ll leave purplesmart here and let Discord sit on a watermelon, or Spike, or something. I wonder what Discord thinks of that…

    I'd like a cup of Twilight please.

    Yeah, he'll have none of that. Actually, after the previous picture, EqG Twilight managed to lose her skirt which the cat then stole. That would be a great episode though. If Discord had the ability to remove wings and horns maybe he could turn them into Equestria Girls just to screw with them. But not the powered up versions with light and special effects. The dirty mud human versions with no magic or wings. Speaking of wings…

    For simulated flap-flap action.

    So chair to butt syncing action isn't the only thing the figure can do. Discord’s wings are on ball joints allowing you to pose them with a great degree of motion. You can even continue to twist them past what I'm showing here until they are upside down. Does this make Discord an action figure? Maybe? I’d hope for some more bionic chopping action with a title like that. In addition to the rotating wings, his effective umbrella also rotates in his hand. It’s the type of odd detail that this odd character really needs in his toy. Let’s try it out...

    Yes, I did drink from him.

    Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. Yes, I drank it and yes, it was delicious. How meta is it for me to be holding a cup of chocolate milk while discord holds a cup of chocolate milk? Hopefully, we won’t pull an Inception and go deeper than that. Now maybe the milk expired the day before and the chocolate powder the year before but food safety has never stopped your local Panda Express and certainly not me. Besides I had a taste tester...

    Betcha didn’t see that coming.

    She approached it while I was attempting to operate a camera with one hand. I would have used a tripod but it gave me flashbacks from recording cons for Ponyville Live. Immediately, my wife slapped me in the back of the head for something about cats not supposed to have chocolate or something and I ended up drenching the cat in the stuff. I also may have fell out of my chair trying to rescue my camera. Point is, maybe cats and Discord don’t need chocolate milk.

    Complete with chaotic camera angles.

    Final verdict: I bought some weird MLP junk from cake toppers to robotic blinking Twilight. Trust me when I say if you have $30 to spend on MLP merch this needs to be in your top 5 considerations. I am super excited to have this in my collection as well and look forward to seeing more of the Guardians of Harmony Fan Series.




    Guardians of Harmony Fan Series
    Princess Celestia

    That’s one peeved mare

    Woah! She is about to rip someone a new one. Those pinned back ears, that frown, those flared wings. I haven't seen a mare that ready to fight since Derpy in Kanashiipanda’s Guardian. Guardian...see what I did there? Anyway, right out the box, rather before she even gets out of the box, the light, radiant Celestia sticks out of the packaging; the cardboard just fades right into the background. The bright shiny armor, the stance, and of course the gorgeous sweeping mane and tail that appear to really capture the show’s ethereal presentation. Let’s check out the box...

    Luna told her sister what you dream about.

    Very similar to the Discord packaging with show vectors on the front and side and pictures of the figure itself on the back and other side. Again, various translations adorn the packaging but the one that really sticks out to me is “She protects Equestria from darkness.” That’s even more interesting if you consider the episode that inspired the model printed on the side of the box isn’t Season 2, Episode 1; where she’d be posed against Discord. It actually says Season 1, Episode 2, where behind the scenes she must have promptly battled Nightmare Moon and lost even faster. That is some deep heartfelt hatred for the thing that has consumed her sister right there! We’ll get back to that but first some display features.

    Insert sunshine here

    Also like the Discord model, we have the top light window. For letting in more ambient light. As I mentioned before though, if you plan on sticking her on a shelf or in a darker area or even if you rock the lights off in your bedroom you should put a small light bar on top of it for some helpful illumination. But once you see what it does with lightning, you’re gonna need it...

    Miniature sun not include.

    Bam! Lit up like the Sun, pun intended. Her wings are in focus, the heavy shadows lifted and her mane just explodes with is transparency. Beautiful and terrible as the dawn, to steal a reference. Her mane really benefits the most from the direct lighting but there is something a bit odd about it. Let’s open her up...

    The toothpaste is a lie.

    Yeah, see it now? The packaging features pictures of the prototype figure with pink translucent mane with a blue stripe. This was the same version we saw on the first GoH announcements back in February. I’m curious to see in the comments which version you like better. Celestia the pink maned filly has always stuck with me so I’m leaning towards the prototype. It’s silly that they didn’t redo the photo for the packaging. Who’s a silly pony? Hasbro. Now if you noticed that the wings look different, I can explain that...

    Karate-chop action!

    It’s because they are on swivel joints. They don’t offer the same degrees of motion that Discord’s wings do but they do let you pose her in the most menacing way possible. With the wings out like that and the idea of her standing on her own mane being ridiculous, it’s most likely that the designers posed her as flying, ready to bank sharp and chunk a laser blast of magic to beat the everliving darkness out of her sister. Too bad she lost that fight we never saw; or ran away. What ever headcanon helps you sleep at night. With the box out of the way, let’s get a good look...

    Those cheekbones can cut souls.

    Sweet Celestia, she is mad! Proof once again that the Fan Series is for adults and collectors. This might make a little girl cry. That face: This is you just foalknapped foals from across the city to start your own Hunger Games level of angry. I kinda like it, but I really feel like she needs to be cheered up...

    My Little Peaches.

    Peaches! I’ll tell you life’s just peachy with peaches! I think they’d cheer her up. A delicious fruit grown by her awesome sun? Let’s try it out...

    Not sure if less intimidating.

    This earned me another “what are you doing with your life” look from my wife. That was until I started shoving the kabobed pieces into her mouth. I had some too. We totally Lady-and-Tramped Celestia. Peaches make everything better. Let’s see how Celestia enjoys it...

    “You’re bad and you should feel bad”

    Yikes! The quality and detail of her face is amazing at conveying that emotion. It’s quite perfect. I will say one of the small things I think this model could improve upon is her cutie mark being obstructed by her wings in every position. It’s a well sculpted flank, literally, and she needs to show it off. I swear my wife just hit me again. Anyway, if we’re still not quite sure why she’s angry; if the sisterly love isn’t to blame, then I think I’ll have to give her a reason for her to be mad...

    That’s not mine.

    There we go. Toothpaste face here has every right to hate my roommate’s Twilestia ship fic. Come on, man! Twilight is like the daughter Celestia never had. Can’t blame her for not liking the fic. It’s all perfectly understandable now. Enough silly, check out the rotation for all her godlike curves...

    It’s not a real MLP toy unless the Cutie Mark is only on one side.

    Final verdict: For $20-$25, Princess Celestia in the Guardians of Harmony is a steal. Hasbro has come a long way from its pink Celestia days and while a toy like this is long overdue, it's greatly welcome nonetheless. I admit I was a little disappointed in the mane/tail color change from the prototype, but Celestia has really grown on me. I set her in a window and the dawn light hit her and whole mane and tail lit up. I muttered "Beautiful" and my wife sleepily said "Thank you." The whole toy line embraces these epic appearances and the Fan Series even more so. I can't wait to get my Nightmare Moon tomorrow and hopefully the mane6 before next year.

    Purchasing Help: At the moment there are no reports of GoH Fan Series hitting shelves in the U.S. However, we have see some in stores in a few Asian countries . Online, Amazon is regularly fluctuating in prices and stock availability, going from $22 prime deliverable and in stock to MSRP or more with deliveries of September. Just keep an eye on it. Entertainment Earth always has them in stock, but for a bit of a premium.

    UPDATE: Check Amazon here

    As always, please comment below with what you think of it and what you'd like to see reviewed next!

    Upcoming reviews:
    Guardians of Harmony Fan Series Nightmare Moon
    SDCC exclusive Discord and Fluttershy
    Friendship is Magic Wave 2 Golden Oak Library, Batpony, and AJ's Sweet Cart
    Diamond Select banks


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