[Human In Equestria] [Comedy][Adventure]
Author: CardsLafter
Description:All Links after the break!
"So yeah, I'm a human. And now I'm a pony. No, that's not a joke, though I would laugh if it were. All I did was party at my place and pass out, only to wake up in Ponyville. Now you must be thinking I had one too many, and I'm right there with you. But no drunken hallucination lasts this long and whatever the case, The Nightmare seems to have a problem with me. A big one.So now, armed with my cigarettes and some cool unicorn magic, I have to fight off The Nightmare, my own Fanbronyism, and try to find the time to let the ponies give me a name. I know, I suggested getting a pony name first, but they're pretty excited about that. Not sure why. All of the ponies in this town are crazy."
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 1
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 2
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 3
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 4
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 5
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 6
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 7
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 8
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 9
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 10
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 11
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 12
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 13
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 14
REVISED EDITION:
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 1
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 2
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 3
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 4
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 5 Part 1 (New!)
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 5 Part 2 (New!)
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 6 (New!)
Additional Tags: Humans Are Not Monsters, Okay? Emotional Roller Coaster
4,596 comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletelolwrongaccount :D
ReplyDeleteIs it bad that I'm about to write a script to refresh the page and check for updates to wake me up if I'm asleep when it goes up?
ReplyDeleteAnd I retaught myself regular expressions to do it, no less.
ReplyDelete*lies battered and beaten on pavement*
ReplyDeleteI -I-I D-D-Did it F-For the L-Lulz.
*passes out*
@Avi
ReplyDelete*Tilts his head as he looks at Avi*
You just haaaad to get the Lols in didn't you?
@ponyaddict
ReplyDeleteHaha, can you send me a copy of that :)
Ahh, damn. Lafter said Friday, but I don't think it will be out till tomorrow. For me at least, its exactly 10:32pm where i am right now (Australia) on Friday night.
ReplyDelete@Binary Dash
ReplyDeleteI believe Lafter Meant friday in the US Dash, you guys are on the other side of the International Date Line remember
@Ridgerunner21
ReplyDeleteYea, I know. I am used to that sort of thing -_-. I was just complaining I suppose.
@Binary Dash
ReplyDeleteLolz, I know the feeling, Lafter needs to hurry up and release it I'm dying to start reading :P
Oh, and @Lafter I hope you don't mind me using this pic for my icon. I can change it to something else if u want. Same goes for Ice Storm.
ReplyDeleteIt's cool, brony. :3 You do your thing.
ReplyDelete@Lafter Cheers. Once I learn how to art I will hopefully make my own :)
ReplyDeleteYAY! My OC pony is now my pic! Whoot! :D (feels random posting this XD)
ReplyDeleteThe Firewall has been doubled!
ReplyDeleteIt's now officially Saturday.
ReplyDelete'I NEED AN ADULT'
ReplyDeleteGah sweet pony Jesus and all that is rainbows and harmony I can't stop laughing at that part XD
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10phwmuXpzE42uPVEIBXeE2CgrYdWVfiXhJBfxbrdjFk/edit
ReplyDelete... ... ... Christmas is no longer cancelled.
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteYeeaaa!
*M. bison again*
ReplyDelete@Lafter
ReplyDeleteWhelp, there goes my morning :D
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteWell, looks like I know what I'm doing on my lunch break now.
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteYou made my day!! Environmental Science homework can wait!
Rawr~
ReplyDeleteYEAH! Time to light off the NyahCat fireworks in celebration!
ReplyDeleteYeahhhhhhhh! Made my week right there!
ReplyDeleteI made it halfway through during my lunch break. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day just waiting to get off work so I can go finish the rest.
ReplyDeleteThis afternoon is going to last forever. :(
Damn you managed in to increase the power of the cliff hanger there.
ReplyDeleteWait. Aren't you going to go back and revise the whole story now? Doesn't that mean we're going to have to wait MONTHS to find out what happens next.
I'm scared, hold me.
Thanks for that Lafter. Cant wait for the next chapter. I am going to get some sleep now (what with it being 5:10am here)
ReplyDeleteHoly mother of cliffhangers.
ReplyDeleteYou know, the cliffhanger at the end of ch.13 left me in a state of mild anger. All that time I've been imagining scenarios of how the Princesses + (optionally) Mane 6 show up on the scene, engage in some crazy three-sided combat with David, the Nightmare & Pact Ponies, kick their flanks (though they probably escape with Applebloom as a hostage) and rescue Firewall; then proceed to freak out at his human form - or, rather, he freaks out at the prospect of pony/human relationship with Luna, etc.
ReplyDeleteSilly me - who could've known things will get so complicated?
Anyway, now - having read the new chapter - I have a feeling of strange emptiness.
Fi- Stephen, you did everything you could and more. I guess now it's up to Luna to try and bring them back together. Gah! Who am I kidding, of course eventually they will be reunited. I mean... they will, right? Right???
i think this was the biggest cliffhanger i ever had to witness, i almost felt like throwing my pc out of the window or punching the screen xD that said BEST CHAPTER IN DA WORLD!
ReplyDeleteDAFUQ dude you cant just leave it there. Think of the bronies on the forum!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I have to say the wait has been more than worth it, this is by far the best chapter in the story. I'm going to to just list the things I liked:
ReplyDelete-David: He gets a lot of needed characterization that really befits the main antagonists position as a deep character. I like how he also has doubts about his plans, he's not omnipotent and he definately isn't dead set on his plans. He is very strict with following up in them, but he does it with regret. I'd like to see more of what he is and how he came to be.
-Applebloom: Every instance with her made me want to dawwwww all over.
-Trixie's semi-death: This was the saddest scene in the entire story and you did it so well. It was so well done I was 100% sure she was going to stay dead, and you brought her back to life with enough humor to prevent it from seeming cheesy. I think this is a clear example of how much you have grown as an author, it really was a solid piece.
-Steak-Bacon would have been acceptable too
-Use of the "firewall" spell- A twist I, and thankfully the nightmare, did not see. I second the nomination for being the best spell ever.
-Final fight scene- It was pretty badass, and was easily visualized so that I could get into the fight. I liked how Firewall held back when he caused pain, it's like the Firewall we know and love. At the same time I also enjoyed David getting beaten to a pulp, that big meanie deserves it! And Storm Wing is still as awesome as ever, but screw him none the less
-The Doctor Who send off- , this part reminded me, I hope this was intentional, of the season 2 ending of D.W. it was certainly as sad as that. But he sorta got it out before he had to go so that's not as bad. What I like most about this part is that it is such a good way to prepare for part 2.
Overall I loved this chapter and it was totally worth the wait. You are a great author and I hope that you can find a way to turn your talent into something more than just a fan fiction, thanks for all your hard work.
Oh and thanks for the shout-out to the forum, preciate it!
I expect the forum to get a bit busier soon. ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat chapter!
...Um, I need to be more in depth I suppose...
I think you pulled off the powerhouse battle really well. And it was great to get some of those revelations presented, but they just raised further questions! I don't think this chapter was entirely what anyone expected to happen. Yay surprise!
Welp, since other people are doing it, I might as well drop my two cents into the comment machine.
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to draw specific attention to right now is the ending - more specifically, what David was doing. What I expected was for David to simply try and send Firewall/Stephen home, then have Firewall rescued or sent back to Earth. What I did not expect was for David to begin to wipe his memory before being interrupted. Obviously, the first question is 'Why?' It probably would have been quicker if he had simply sent Stephen away; if anything, it may have guaranteed that Firewall would be sent to Earth. My theory is that David was actually trying to spare Firewall the pain of not being able to live there anymore. Now, don't get me wrong, David's place as an arse is as permanent as if it was written into the metaphorical concrete of the Universe as it was drying or some nonsensical metaphor like that. However, considering David did ask how Stephen would feel about it, he may have risked his entire plan only to spare him of the pain. Instead of sending him back home with his memories, which would have probably hurt and depress him to no end, he opted to metaphorically kill the experiences that Firewall had there. Of course, it could simply be that David interpreted Stephen's answer a bit too seriously, and may have been afraid that he would kill himself back at Earth. Both theories sort-of-ish work.
Well I just read something I shouldn't have,"Trixie's semideath." FUCK!
ReplyDeleteThat cliffhanger was so powerful that i am now emotionally distressed, i hope that next part will be awesome!
ReplyDeleteYeah there's gonna be spoilers here.
ReplyDeleteAlso, because I forgot, Amazing chapter here. You even got a capital A and everything. I've never done that before with anything. Ever.
ReplyDelete@Lafter
ReplyDeleteHoly Crap man! That chapter was kind of a game-changer. I'm pretty sure you just changed it from a pony fanfic, to a sci-fi that just happens to have ponies in it. Epic story man.
GARBFFFGRBALSHNRGRAA!! THAT CLIFFHANGER! I nearly through my laptop through the wall (seriously, I had it lifted over my head before realizing I don't have enough money to fix it/get a new one).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, OUTSTANDING chapter. Definitely worth the wait. The next chapter will come before the rewriting of the early chapters, right? I thought chapter 13 said two more chapters to go, but some above comments are making me nervous. My favorite part about this chapter is that it shows that the bad guys aren't just evil or power hungry or something. The antagonist tends to be the least developed/least realistic character in a story, mainly because it's difficult to do well, but David is now an _amazing_ character (still needs a few millenia on the moon, but very believable).
Now for assumptions/expectations for the next chapter!
- More exposition on who/what David is (please?)
- Firewall/Stephen gets his memories back. I'm going to guess it has something to do with him remembering that he loves Luna, maybe sees the moon and has a flashback or something.
- Luna beats the dog snot out of David, but doesn't kill him because she knows Firewall/Stephen wouldn't want her to and/or that she would eventually regret it.
- Celestia and Luna (and Firewall and/or David and/or Lauren Faust?) work together to finish Equestria using the Codex.
- More exposition on what the Codex is, how it works, who made it (I don't think it was David, he just uses it), and who enforces The Rules.
- Ponies
- Friendship
- Magic
@KronathBekalb-Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles.
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeleteExactly... except for the torture, hate, pain, and death. These words make me sad when used in conjunction with ponies.
@KronathBekalb*SPOILERS*Well these have all happened in this last chapter.*SPOILERS*
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeleteAnd I am perfectly content leaving them there.
Damn you Lafter! I was just checking EQD before going to sleep and BOOM: a new chapter! Now I wont be able to sleep until I've read it!
ReplyDeleteActually I'm really tired so I will in fact be going to sleep. It will have to wait...
I got me applejuice. I got me TtEoAP. Tis a good Friday.
ReplyDeleteOMG YES! New chapter WOOHOO! I'm gonna read it like 3 times!
ReplyDelete/is dead to the world for the rest of the evening
Why must every author end with a sad ending. THIS IS MARKED COMEDY, CARDSLAFTER, THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
ReplyDeleteMust not read untill tomorrow... must focus on exam... f*** that, i'm screwed.
ReplyDelete42K words, here i come
>Reads Chapter 14 to the end.
ReplyDelete>Goes to corner of room.
>Cries.
@LunaInSocks
ReplyDeleteIt ain't over till it's over!
:O There is still another chapter and another part to go through... :3
@LafterWill chapter 15 be an epilogue?
ReplyDeleteNo, he's coming back. A bit of a spoiler half way through when he said
ReplyDelete"After bringing myself back to Earth"
David throwing him back isn't the same thing.
I knew I shouldn't have read this...the cliffhanger is tormenting me. D:
ReplyDeleteJust calling it: David is a Time Lord.
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeleteNot sure if want...
Also I just realized my earlier comment implied that I didn't like the sad in this story. That is false.
Lafter, you've transcended yourself. You are now officially a better writer then you used to be.
ReplyDeleteOkay, remember me? That cynic who thought this story was going downhill?
ReplyDeleteI stand corrected. Chapter 14 was simply incredible. Now I honestly don't know what to think about David. You've created perhaps the most complex and engaging villain ever.
CODEX:/RUN/EQUESTRIA/
ReplyDeleteThe universe runs on DOS.
You knew this was going to happen; Screw you for that cliffhanger. Screw. You.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, loved the chapter, and I quite literally squeed when I saw the story had updated :3
A little darker than usual, but really, we have been expecting this.
But anyhow. Next chapter. NAOH. Please? :3
That took forever to read. Funny that, I never figured I'd ever wish for forever to be much, much longer.
ReplyDeleteI thought this fanfic would last much longer, but there are so many twists and turns and expositions and realizations...I want it to last for another 15 chapters, but I'm not sure how it could at that point.
It wasn't as funny as other chapters, but it made that up in spades with action and drama and whatever else makes your chapters bled out awesomness. I'm so glad you're writing again, and I'm gonna be in agony waiting for your next chapters. AGAIN.
Thanks Lafter. I missed you and your writing. I'm gonna be re-reading this one for sure...tomorrow. Seriously, how do you write them this long?
Cheers,
Firewall's self-proclaimed #1 fan
Yay! I was looking forward to this story updating again, and this chapter was amazing. Really tugged on my heart strings for a few moments there, but I was grinning like a fool near the end. Can't wait till the next chapter I need to find out what happened to Firewall.
ReplyDeleteSo, you're my fisr Pony fiction author, I think you were the first story I read when I came to EqD, or it was sunset... not sure
ReplyDeleteYou're also the inspiration for my SN...
The rank is from another thing and the Rum is from Project Horizons...
Oh my god that was the best/longest chapter of a fan fic I have ever read! By the end I was at the edge of my seat just screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Oh and you're awesome for referencing Halo in here.
ReplyDeleteAs a programmer, the part where Stephan gets the Codex gave me a headache trying to read it.
ReplyDeleteTime to copy-past the comments I put on the tteoap forum here.
ReplyDelete------
Started reading at 5:30
Finished: 10:00
Yep, knew that would take up my afternoon.
I have two cousins and an uncle that share Firewall's real name. You'd think I'd be able to pronounce his name right on the first try.
I pronounced it "Ste-fen" in my head for some reason. Not "Ste-ven"
…but then again, I don't see their names in print too often. I would totally spell it with a 'v' given half the chance.
I'm in college!
Achievement Unlocked: Induce the Wrath of Sethisto
Kill off TGAP Trixie.
…I shouldn't joke. That was a heavy scene.
I knew Sh** was going to get real, so in the battle between Firewall and David I pulled up Guile's theme in iTunes.
I think it goes without saying that Guile's theme goes with epic battles.
Also, forget "Twilight OP Sparkle".
"Stephen OP Firewall" is the new king.
FIRE FIRE FIRE WEEEE!
Stephen has a big Pinkie Pie plushy!? I'm jealous! All I have to hug is a pillow!
(I'm a pathetic loaner away from home at college with no girlfriend after all. I want a pony plushy! A big huggable one!)
GAH! Chapter is almost over! Seeing that slider bar on the side of the screen get closer to the bottom is PAINFUL!
Oh yes, the "I-am-so-screwed reaction" I LIVE to see that on my enemy's face!
WOW it's a good thing he got sent to Equestria instead of me. I'm fuggin' psychotic.
WHY does the Nightmare at the back of Firewall's head make me think of POTaDOS?
"Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil! …Oh, it flew off. Good! …for it! Back to thinking."
How many people can say they took a laser beam through the chest and lived? Bragging rights!
Hehe, Sesame Street joke. The Count is badass considering today's vampires.
Do NOT remind me of how long I'll have to wait for the next chapter and just let me sit in the bliss that remains from this one.
Wahahahaha! Fantastic, just fantastic.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts on this chapter in less then 20 characters.
ReplyDeleteBISONYES.MP4.
That is all.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChapter 14 updates? And I was just planning on going to bed too, you magnificent bastard! It's 05:28 right now...
ReplyDeleteyou magnificent bastard, you.
ReplyDeleteone more thing,
ReplyDeleteDiscord in chapter 15?
Bravo man! Bravo!
ReplyDeleteBut, FFUUUUU CLIFFHANGER. You're really good at those, you know? Stop that.
Also, please don't tell me there's going to be another couple of months-ish between this one and the last one.
@Admiral Stoic "Crusader" Rum
ReplyDeleteDoubtful since this version of Equestria seems to be created based on Season one alone.
In all seriousness that I can muster through the internet, I sincerely admit I am thoroughly impressed. Plenty of opinions have already been shared and the horn tootin' will continue I'm sure. However, here comes an additional two cents.
ReplyDeletePros:
1. I really enjoyed the incredible range of emotions that were conveyed not only throughout the chapter, but from Firewall himself. It's been alluded to before in prior chapters, but that nitty gritty side truly enhanced his character even more. Those defining moments where he proves that he's not just another copy-paste hero. He's Firewall.
2. The jokes and puns included were all spot on. The balance between comedy and seriousness was evenly distributed quite superbly.
3. TGAP Trixie's sacrifice...great scott. As soon as she entered into the jail/prison/brig/thing (love that btw), I got insanely nervously that the scene might be insanely cheesy and terrible (as most scenarios in any media format are as such.) I'm glad that I was punched in the face by how wrong I was. To sum it up, fantastic writing there!
Cons:
1. David's inconsistency of power. This is in reference to the balancing act of revealing he's the creator (unless he's blowing smoke up the butt) while still proving he can slip up. If in fact he is so experienced behind all of this, the amount of miscalculations and errors he's committed is a bit baffling. Sure, the factors were usually small afterthoughts that he wouldn't have taken into account, but he maintains the illusion that he always has a backup plan. Why not just keep Firewall unconscious until things were ready?
2. This one somewhat ties into the former, the dramatic convenience behind the Codex and the appearances of Starlight. With the Codex, the lack of difficulty of its' use. Even if David didn't foresee Trixie taking it from him, it would be reasonable to think that he would have a fail safe if the Codex was ever misplaced. As for Starlight, what was she doing the whole other time? Surely the hub bub would have brought her beforehand, but I digress.
3. This one's really scraping the barrel, but here goes. David reveals that he feels guilty for making the Nightmare the way she is (in this case, loco.) He makes a comment that Firewall wasn't/isn't a father, and continues that he must fix her life. If David feels this way for her, why doesn't he feel similarly to the rest of his creations (if this really is his world)?
Anywho, that's just me (I might elaborate on this further if that's cool.) I'm sure the late night and leftover pizza (always is, right?) might be affecting my complete thought process , whatever. ..Where was I going with that? Proven wrong, RIGHT! I find it quite likely that most of my points/concerns that were written will be addressed (or already have.) I'll gladly sit on my hands for that and take the Wheel of Fortune buzzer scolding that accompanies such. Long story short (too late), a great addition to a story that has spawned so many great things that all of us appreciate. So hat's off to ya, Lafter, it's a helluva ride you've got here.
Chapter 14...
ReplyDelete*after reading*
0.o
...
That's... a lot to take in.
I don't usually say this but...
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM.
I can already envision the epilogue.
ReplyDeleteTheir world is incomplete. but that doesn't matter: They have the book now--- And Luna has all the collective scientific knowledge of humanity (aka the Internet). They can fix everything; they fill in the gaps.
And now ponies can actually start falling in love...(yay)
Im putting off finishing reading this fic because of how people are saying it's too much of a sad cliffhanger... The thing is, I literally get depressed when I don't feel like a fanfic's ending wasn't fulfilling enough for the time being. After reading My Little Dashie, my mood was literally 6 clicks lower than usual for like...4 days.
ReplyDeleteSo... Im not sure I can handle having to wait MONTHS to read chapter 15. That is, assuming the ending to chapter 14 IS something very sad, like firewall being forced to have his memory erased, which is what I bet is going to happen.
@FarmboyKenny
ReplyDeleteLet me address your cons...
1. The Codex: David used it to create Equestria. He has his own power, but he's no greater than say... Luna, in terms of strength. The Codex has been his means of 'construction.'
@Lafter
ReplyDeletedammit you just had to leave a big cliffhanger didnt you, this makes me feel very dafaq mood just like that Mass effect 3 ending...damn you Laftar D:
Wait, I'm confused.
ReplyDeleteDavid said that Equestria isn't nearly as old as everypony thinks it is. That it is in fact a pretty recent creation and that it's supposed history is a fiction David created. That this is why the Princess of the Moon who supposedly measures her age in epochs still acts like a teenager. Yet, David's world-building only started to go seriously sideways on him when he tried to create the Vangard and wound up creating the Nightmare instead. THAT supposedly happened 1000 years ago and lead to the whole Nightmare Moon sent to the moon thing. Yet, 1000 years is much older than Equestria truly is according to to David. So how does this work?
Also, David being some sort of alien blows away the reason for the anti-magic existing in the first place. The original explanation is that magic is unnatural for humans to command. So when a human wizard tries to force the magic to respond, he ends up burning out some of the local magic field every time he casts a spell, creating the anti-magic substance. But if David is Equestia's creator, then it makes no sense that his spell-casting would harm the local magic field in this way. He created the magic field in the first place!
After following this story for six months, I finally decided to make a profile and air my thoughts. While I'm sure that you have heard this hundreds of time by now, I'll say it once more: This story is amazing. You have defied the odds and the stereotypes by creating a deep and entertaining story in one of the most difficult genres in the fandom. You use everything that is supposed to 'kill' a story and make your world 10x better for it. And your writing style is amazing. You have developed this story to seemlessly flow between serious action, adorableness, and trolling hilarity. You have also developed an entire cast of original ponies and given them deep personalities. And I cant forget Luna. Your characterization for her is so adorably funny and cute you have singlehandedly made her my favorite pony. I am happy i found this story early on in my brony conversion. It cemennted my love of this fandom and has even converted sone of my friends. This fic unquestionably deserves all the attention it gets and stands as not only the best OC fic ever, but one of the best fics of all time. I also want to say thanks to all the fans who keep the time between chapters fun. From the artist on DA to the mad hatters known as Avi, Lightning, and Stormcaller firing cupcake artillery everywhere, you all exemplify the ideals of bronydom and have made this fun community into an unstoppable force. I salute you all. And again congrats to Lafter on a great story. This last chapter was epic(stayed up until 6am reading). I cant wait for more and eagerly await the day you and your vanguards of madness establish a new world order.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, i just realized i'm posting here for the first time and i know how storm likes to welcome new visitors. Should i be concerned?
One other thing to anypony who cares to reply. Does anyone have an official wordcount for the full story? Just curious about a comparison of story length.
ReplyDelete@ClockworkFear for your life.
ReplyDeleteActually he will probably only do it if you ask ^_^.
I loaded this up on hotel wi-fi, then read it in intervals while waiting in lines at Disney World. Who needs FastPass when you have ponies?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Chuck Testa
@Clockwork
ReplyDeleteThe Comment Crazies shall hunt you down and find you. And when we do, we'll, uh.... give you cupcakes and hugs? I don't know! That's Stormcaller's specialty, so don't ask me.
@Lafter did you ever read aardun leuad or chwe goleadau by priderage? It may be just a coincidence, but it seemed like some elements were similar.
ReplyDeleteMy god what have I done? It is 8am here, no sleep, and my mind is spinning. I never planed on getting into fan fiction like this but I read all chapters 1 to 14 all in one sitting. I screeched in pain in my own mind when I found that the ending chapters where not yet written. I cannot stop now. I must go for a walk to clear my head. I'm going to find myself reading MLP fan fiction all the time now. I could really use that book burning spell that lets you absorb all the information contained within now.
ReplyDelete*o* amazinnnng. I must have more.
ReplyDelete@Lafter
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reply, I appreciate it. That makes a lot more sense, I had initially thought that David was the power charger for the Codex which in turn amplified it with its' own source.
Obviously David is an insanely complex character beyond first glance. I'll be definitely rereading this chapter to get things in perspective. Thanks again so much for this riveting tale, you've made a lot of people happy including me.
Wait... If Trixie is immune to the natural order of equestria that David set, then that means the kiss on the cheek meant..... *le gasp* EVERYPONY! START SHIPPING FIREWALL WITH TRIXIE!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Schmitty
ReplyDelete@Sigma Silver
Well, as it was said earlier... David claiming anti-magic comes from humans is a lie. A ploy to separate him from the ponies.
Also, David never said he wasn't human.
And everything has yet to be explained.
And David mentioned something about 'false' time. Don't worry, the next chapter and the rewrite will help clarify this as much as possible.
Until then, you gotta catch those details, mate. :D
Wordcount is over 180,000.
No, Schmitty, I sure haven't.
Bah!
ReplyDeleteIt's 3am and Im still awake.
Just finished reading it all, well it all that there is of it...that was an odd sentance wasnt it?
LOV-ED IT!
Very interesting writing style.
I like how it seems you're not taking it too seriously, after all it's a fanfic, not a novel.
I dont mean that badly at all, just that it's fun to read and isnt pretentious. Pretty much anyone could read it easily (I've read some printed works that can get a tad...convaluted..)
So yes, confound you for my lack of sleep as I Could. Not. Stop! Til I'd read every chapter!
....now I have to wait for more...oh noes....please dont take to long, I might just die if you do...*begs*
I read most of the while traveling yesterday and finished it once I arrived at my destination. Good start for my spring break if I do say so.
ReplyDeleteI'm calling it now: Chapter 15 - 80,000 words.
Lafter, I swear, you're a god. These writing powers are simply two great and powerful to be in the hands of a simple mortal.
ReplyDeleteIn all serious though, I thing the greatest thing about this story is how much you've improved. As soon as I finished this chapter, I went back and read the first couple.
The amount of improvement is insane. I almost had to stop myself from wondering if it was the same author.
My congratulations to you, sir. You have just achieved the status of writing deity.
I just reread the last chapter and going back to the Trixie scene is even more saddening, well done.
ReplyDeleteMan, that WAS awesome. Im STILL CONFUSED THOUGH. I can't wait for the next chapter. Lafter, if you hadn't put in the sneak peak of Luna (Celestia? Twilight?) describing what happened to Firewall to Pinkie, I would be just fine with the wait I have to endure 'til chapter 15. But you gave away too much plot in the sneak peak, and now Im in need of answers as of what happened to Firewall! You would be very good at ending movies with sequels. Make some people a LOT of money.
ReplyDelete@Lafter
ReplyDeleteWell, great minds think alike and whatnot. Wonderful chapter and I absolutely love how you made this chapter more serious yet were still able to place in humor without it seeming in bad taste.
>not his first time creating a world
ReplyDelete>still totally screws it up on his first try creating the ponies, like a noob
Sounds legit.
@SebialeIt's made pretty clear that David is not as powerful or as all-knowing as he takes himself to be. He screws up on more than just his creations, he's a flawed god.
ReplyDeleteOkay. Okay. Okay! So. So... who else didn't see Equestria being an artificially created world not even five years old, with every living thing in it having fabricated memories coming? I didn't.
ReplyDeleteThis means Firewall is dating a 5-year old. *snickers*
"Hello my name is Chris Hansen, why don't you go and take a seatFirewall"
ReplyDeleteBest chapter so far imo. I mean, so many revelations. Equestria is actually an artifial land, mande by some god-like creature called David. Firewall now has a name and god knows what is going to happen to him, well, Lafter does but meh. AHH cannot stand the cliffhanger. Need new chapter.
ReplyDeleteJust reminded that the next one is going to be the last chapter. Damn. This can't end, neva
I wanted to kick Starlight in the face so damn badly.
ReplyDeleteWhew, what a ride this has been.
ReplyDeleteTRIXIE NOOOOOOOO!!! (ok never mind)
FIREWALL NOOOOOOOO!!! (ok never mind)
OH WAIT, NEVER MIND!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!(CLIFFHANGER) NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Thank you for this amazing fan fic, I've enjoyed every chapter so far. If I do have one problem with this chapter, it's just some confusion in the backstory of David.
If it's true that Equestria was only recently created that means that David specifically placed all the memories of the war in the heads of Luna, Celestia, and anyone else who has supposedly survived since then and specifically engineered a role for himself to play in the shadows opposing them... in order to fix a mistake he made in fabricated history? This is how he first planned to create a peaceful Equestria? By building a war coverup into this false history doesn't that just make the current rulers look guilty if anypony finds out? How does that ensure peace?
Am I missing something important or are his motives yet to be fully explained in later chapters? Anyway, It's going to be interesting to see how the rest of the cast handles the news that they're all preschoolers.
Lafter... the cliffhanger made me have to get up, walk around, pout and then steel myself to wait for the next chapter. You sir are a better author, in my opinion, than most in the books ive read.
ReplyDeleteThis also made me realize I'm a slightly bad person ,I wouldve fried David's face away first chance I got.
I finished read right before going to sleep
ReplyDeleteAnd the very good cliffhanger made me have dreams about what the next chapter might have in it
The story over all is amazing and I wish you luck on all things
WHY YOUR STORY SO AMAZING!?!?!
ReplyDeleteAnd btw you are boss for writing a 43k word chapter...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplaese hurry with the next chapter....nonononono let him stay let him stay, just just
ReplyDeleteoh goddesses this is epic, but pleeeeaaassseee tell me this doesn't end up with some bittersweet ending.....pleasepleasepleasePLEASE let Firewall stay in Equestria PLE-E-E-EASE!!!
@Lafter You sir are a very very very mean pony you know that
ReplyDeleteIf Firewall doesnt get to stay in Equestria. A computer is going out the window.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty epic. Rock on.
ReplyDeleteI want a hardcover version of this when it's finished.
ReplyDeleteI know it's probably way too soon to ask, but any idea when the next chapter will come out? And will part 1 end in a cliffhanger?
ReplyDeleteI've already got at least 10% of Chapter 15 finished. I expect it will be finished in three weeks? Maybe less.
ReplyDeleteAs always, don't hold me to that. But it won't be two months. See, I pretty much have two to four hours of every weekday that go directly into writing. So yeah... Writing will get done more consistently.
Also, guys, hit up my Deviant Art Page as I'm going to be requesting a poll before long and the readers are going to get a few of their many questions answered. :)
http://lafteroth.deviantart.com/
Holy Jellybeans! You write a whole lo-
ReplyDeleteActually, it sounds like you spend just as much time writing as I do drawing...
I really need to get around to drawing fanart of this story. I've said I would, but I never do...
Well, hurry up! But don't rush it. Or strain yourself. In other words, take your time, but not more than that? I'm just gonna shut up before my foot gets any deeper in my mouth... (mmm... old shoe rubber)
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteOH.MAH GAWD
Dat cliffhanger.
Want.More
Best Chapter.
Two word sentences.
Cant.Wait
@CockyBrony "Two word sentences."
ReplyDeleteThat was 3 words.
Jimmies Status:
ReplyDelete[X]Not Rustled
[ ]Rustled
wait wait wait wait wait wait.
ReplyDeleteone of the question on your DA page is do you care to hear about Firewall's return to Earth ....does, does that mean he has to go back?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteI have a question.
David based his Equestria off the show.
Why would he think the Nightmare he created would be any different than the canon one?
Unless he was trying to break canon, but then why would he give the Nightmare the same backstory as the canon one?
If he could create Equestrians but make Equestria anything he wanted, why did he follow the show's characters and continuity at all?
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteThat's a good question, DPV111... :3
Why would he make The Nightmare and expect it to be a defender of Equestria? Why make Equestria at all!
Why, it's as though there's still one chapter left! <3
;3
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteWhen.
not soon enough :)
ReplyDeleteOk I kid, take your time and get it right, this story is just SO bucking amazing. As you can tell, you've made me feel really really attached to these characters, and once you get the audience caring about them, you've won, that there is one of the hardest thing to do, yet one of the most important to any good story and you sit pulled it off magnificently.
but PLEEEEEAASSSEEEE don't make me cry at the end, don't make me find a Applebloom jpeg to beg you with.
@SeraphemYou wouldn't make Applebloom cry Lafter? Would you?
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeleteApple Bloom? Too easy. Time to escalate.
We have Rainbow Dash.
We are showing her the internet.
Not all at once like Luna.
Slowly.
One horror at a time.
Alphabetically.
We just finished Agony in Pink.
She's not looking so good.
We'll get to Cupcakes in a few days.
We're not going to stop.
Only the chapter can make it stop.
@DPV111Act now, next story is Fallout Equestria.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how finding this story has hurt me academically. 10 chapters, in two days, my brain!
ReplyDeleteCrazy theory time!
ReplyDeleteThere are a few things that just don't make sense.
1. As someone else has pointed out, why try to make the Nightmare a defender of Equestria?
2. If Equestria is less than 5 years old, why the need for the fake history that inserts David into it's past, and then why cover it up with Celestia's memory spell?
3. Azure Flora was supposedly exposed to anti-magic during the Nightmare indecent over 1000 years ago, but there was no Equestria 1000 years ago, so when did she really get exposed and become immortal?
5. If Stormwing is the only pony to be born, who are his real parents. Becuase Winter Storm has been locked away presumably as long as Equestria has existed, so he couldn't have fathered Stormwing.
There are other things along those same lines that just don't seem to line up. I don't think David is being entirely truthful about Equestria's origin.I doubt he is the true creator.
My bigger question though, has nothing to do with Equestria. What is David's relationship with humans? He seems to have quite the obsession with them. He is some powerful alien thing, and yet he chooses to take the form of a human, he somehow knows about MLP and bronies, he brings a human to Equstria, and he is the one that created a fake history for Equestria that secretly involves humans. None of the ponies or the Nightmare would have known anything about humans if not for David. The dude seems to have a serious species crush on humans.
So here's my wild guess. I don't think it's Equestria that David has created, I think it's Earth. Perhaps there is a real Earth out there somewhere, but I don't think that Firewall is from the real one. Or maybe Firewall isn't even from Earth, and all of his human memories are false.
And that is my crazy rant/theory. I look forward to reading the next part and being proven right or wrong, both are just as fun.
My guess is that by "age" David is speaking relatively. He mention how he gave that one attempt with the lifeless automaton's 100 years of simulated existence or something. I'm thinking that it HAS been 1000 years for Equestria, but all of that happened in only 5 years from Firewall's perspective. Time just moves a lot faster in Equestria
ReplyDelete@Seraphem
ReplyDeleteJust reread the chapter and that's what Ii was thinking. Good to know I'm not the only one thinking that. Seems to make more sense than everyone having false memories.
When pasted into a Word document (for my eBook project which is remaining private until the rewrite :P) the story currently numbers 470 pages and 212639 words, in case anyone was interested in the length of the story so far.
ReplyDeleteDid you exclude all the pre-chapter intros Lafter writes?
ReplyDeleteEh, all of those pre-chapter intros would amount to 3-5k words at best. >.> I think. Maybe not!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, here's a poll for you guys. Something that seriously has me worried. See, I really want to cut loose in Part II, but I don't want to ruin this for anypony... So... Here ya go...
http://lafteroth.deviantart.com/journal/poll/2722772/
@LafterTo hell and back Lafter!
ReplyDelete@Lafter
ReplyDeleteI read this fic for the sillyness.. am I the only one? I mean I like the seriousness of the plot, but there are enough serious pony fics out there, TTEOAP is kind of my escape from them.
Just imo.
I'm just gonna simplify my feeling about that cliffhanger into two deliciously short, and assuredly sweet, words for you Lafter.
ReplyDeleteI mad.
Okay guys. Hear me out on this one. What if Lafter WAS David? He's writing the story of his creation, equestria, into his little metal technological booky thing called a computer. Or would that make him the Codex? He has created their entire universe.
ReplyDeleteWhat if? What if Firewall was from an Earth, but not the real Earth, but rather a created Earth, with fake memories determined solely by his creator?
Duuuuuuuuuuude.
@Sotha
ReplyDeleteWoah, man... Like... Heavy.
Wat if we are all dreaming this and we are actually a bunch of rocks?
ReplyDelete@SirGoldfishWhat if we're being dreampt up by rocks?!
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeleteWhat if we're being dreamed up by rocks that are being dreamed by people who are dreamed by ponies that were dreamed by Lauren Faust?
@KronathBekalbDuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddeeeee!
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeletehttp://dl.dropbox.com/u/39395890/Pictures/Spike%20Dude.jpg
From Chapter 4:
ReplyDelete“It’s just... Nice,” she admitted, smiling at me happily, “I kinda feel normal right now. I mean, being with The Nightmare showed me some... terrible and horrible things. Things that I would have never experienced as just a princess here in Canterlot. It’s... changed me. And how I see things.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t turned out for the worse,” I admitted with an encouraging nod, “You’re made of sterner stuff.”
“I guess. It’s just been hard. I now see the horrible side as well as the good side of things,” she murmured softly, “And no one in Equestria can relate to that. It’s actually refreshing to talk to somepony who can. That and you’re not afraid to tell me ‘No’ at all.”
EPIC FORESHADOWING
Somehow, some part of me doubts that Lafter planned that. Another part says... well, it says no as well.
ReplyDeleteWas he (you, Lafter) not half-drunk during most of the early writing?
@Dax
ReplyDeleteAccidental or not, that is goddamn brilliant.
Didnt Lafter Pinkie Promise early in the comment section that there would be no shipping? Shame, Lafter. Shaaaaammmme...
ReplyDeleteI mean, not that we care or anything!
@MagicLlamaI'm shipping inmanipulon with Tom.
ReplyDeleteThis is the part where I'd break into song if I had any ideas.
ReplyDelete@MagicLlama
ReplyDeleteI use a cane to walk around these days... Let it never be said that a Pinkie Promise does not carry weight...
:( Also, Pinkie has a fondness for metal bats...
Wait... when AJ broke a Pinkie promise, all she did was yell at her and make her apologize.
ReplyDeletePinkie Pie is being speciesist.
Well, I voted, and now I regret not picking the top option. Of course I'd follow you to Hell. This is mostly because if my vote ever led to you putting any kind of restrictions on your writing, I'd still be burning up going "WHAT THE HELL AM I MISSING!!!"
ReplyDeletedon't have a DA account to vote, but I'll add a vote to i'll follow any story your writing long as you keep up these amazing standards, but I really hate Grimdark ponies (by which I mean dark DARK; no hope, the dead are the lucky ones etc...) but I hope you still keep in some of the comedy, at least give us a breather chapter now and then of just random funny stuff, or some dark humor thrown into the mix.
ReplyDeleteHey @Lafter, any progress updates?
ReplyDelete@Binary Dash
ReplyDeleteWord Count: IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!
@Binary DashYou made that too easy.
ReplyDelete@Lafter WHAT! Nine thousand!? There's no way that can be right! 0_o
ReplyDeleteAlso Lafter, you may have noticed my awesome new icon. What with both Stephen and The Nightmare being in there i figure it's gonna get crowded :P
ReplyDeletehttp://lafteroth.deviantart.com/journal/The-Beatings-Will-Continue-Regardless-Of-Morale-292568947
ReplyDeleteThis is very important...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDOUBLE DERP!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, @Lafter I think that's an awesome idea. Am exited.
Go for it, I will be behind you the whole way. Especially if it gives me an excuse to reread this.
ReplyDeleteDern it! I picked to hell and back, and this counts!
ReplyDeleteWell, all I can say is that was one HELL of an awesome chapter. That and I hope to god it doesn't take this long for the next (and possibly last) chapter to come out, this has reeeeeally got me on a roll right now.
ReplyDeletePlease? I swear to god I will do the Puppy Eyes no Jutsu on you. X3
@Skykitsune
ReplyDelete....*twitch*
.........fffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Just read that journal entry. Pardon me as I rage on for a good long while over here.
Hey Hunter X
ReplyDeleteyou have the original chapters on Ereader, right?
Might I inquire as to obtaining a copy? (because reading this on my kindle, even before the rewrite, would be awesome.)
@LordSeth
ReplyDeleteLafter asked that I hold off public release until the rewrite, but I don't know if that still applies for case-by-case distribution. Lafter, what is your stance on this?
@Hunter X
ReplyDelete:o I... I plan on releasing each rewritten chapter on Fimfiction and FF.net... What more were you wanting?
Also, I would be releasing them here on eqd but... ... Well, they're said they're not going to show them as updates. Which, in that case, means that nobody but the most devoted of fans will know when an update comes out.
So... Fimfiction and FF.net it is!
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteI just felt that an eReader version would be useful for people who want to read the story away from their computer. The version would be purely a fan project (I'll handle updating the file when new chapters come out, as well as distribution) so it means no extra work for you, and I've included full credit to you on the first page. I figured I would check with you first though before distributing it, since it is your story.
..................
ReplyDeleteon the one hoof, more story written as epicly as the latter chapters and a more cohesive overall narritive YAY.
on the other...waiting even longer to find out what happens to Firewall.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well it's up to you, and either way I'm looking foward to it.
These cliffhangers keep getting so big, I'm afraid I might burn into nothing before I hit the ground this time.
ReplyDelete@Lafter
ReplyDeleteLafter, you give us that chapter, or I swear I will eat something. You see this apple? I could do it Lafter, I could do it. Lafter. LAFTER...
@thesuperfly
ReplyDeleteLike this?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAnd with this dark turn, I leave to find something random on Fimfiction.net.
ReplyDelete@thesuperfly
ReplyDeleteIt's okay. I'm about 40% through it already. And it's been going a hell of a lot quicker than writing from scratch.
Just you guys wait. This is going to blow your motherbuckin' minds.
I hope.
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteNo doubt. Although I can't honestly say this is my favorite of all fics, this is one of the very very few that I have and would reread multiple times.
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteAre you going to post a note on your DA when you update the older chapters? I don't really go back to previous chapters of stories until the story is fully done, unless they're being re-written.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFinally all caught up!!
ReplyDeleteCan I get a brohoof!? Yeaaaahhhhh!!!!
Anyway, fantastic story! Definitely one of the top fanfics I've read on this site!
But now I have to endure the wait in between chapter releases? This is gonna be torture!
Holy crap Lafter! After that epic chapter you're already almost halfway through the next? You sir are a machine of a writer.
ReplyDeleteAs for blowing our minds, no worries here. This fic has coated my walls in blown mind chunks several times over. With this being the last chapter of part 1 my body may not be able to handle so much epic story.
@Clockwork
ReplyDeleteActually, what he means is that he's 40% through rewriting the entire story from chapter one. He's doing this so that a) The next chapter can make sense and b) so that the style of his previous chapters can match his new chapters now that he's a little bit better at writing.
Wow, 40% already, that's really impressive. When will we get to see the rewrites being put out?
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeleteWell... Actually I meant... *blush*
Halfway through rewriting chapter one...
._. Sorry to miscommunicate there.
But don't worry! It's coming along well! You guys won't be sorry! And don't worry, I will be posting the revised chapter on FimFiction and FF.
My deviantart channel will have the link when it is released. Also, I will be posting it in here. :3
Also, yes, Hunter X, you can make an eReader version of the revision. :3 And the original version if you so desire, but that'll make me feel funny.
Where on FF.net/FIMfiction are the updated chapters going to be released? While I prefer the formatting of google docs, I like the notifications for them going up, so I can read them right away.
ReplyDelete@LafterHehe yeah, that's much more reasonable. Seemed a bit odd that you could go through 80k words of changes in a few days. Anyhow, good luck on the rewrite, and take as much time as you need :)
ReplyDeleteRe-read that monster of a chapter. Still just as good as the first time. Dialog, action, emotion, trolling…and I can't wait to find out what happens to Firewall. Please write more, don't make me throw money at you.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to lie, but I was glad Trixie died. Why the FUCK did you have to revive her?!?
ReplyDelete@Magrue
ReplyDeletePutting the Codex's capabilities into perspective.
@Magrue
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you like Trixie? All she did was, oh, I don't know... just sacrifice herself to save the others.
I'm glad she's alive.
ReplyDeleteI also like that she's alive, she is Great and Powerful after all.
ReplyDeleteI reeeaaallllly love this story, but I have never fallen in love with Trixie. She is pretty, given. But she is a selfish bitch who looks for only fame and power. Maybe someday she will redeem herself in my eyes, when she is not causing shit to begin with.
ReplyDeleteTo me, it should have been as follows:
"Sacrifice the few (Trixie), so that many may live."
Show canon Trixie is a one dimensional hyper-bitch egomaniac.
ReplyDeleteTtEoAP Trixie sacrificed her life by going against her zealot demigod of a creator. She was then resurrected from death by the power of an omnipotent intelligence at the will of another being with demigod-like power, who along with the pony devil was trying to free all ponies from causality based enslavement.
She's basically the pony *insert martyr of choice here*.