• BREAKING NEWS: Pony Sentiments Spark War



    [5 p.m. CST, 4 p.m. Equestrian] An enormous banner featuring Rainbow Dash in a patriotic pose has been illegally draped on the front of the White House during the night, sources in the capitol say.

    Press releases and independent reporting from multiple sources has confirmed the vandalism, which has since been removed by White House staff. As was previously suspected by capitol officials, the radical group Equestrian Evangelists did indeed claim responsibility for the act early this morning.

    "The American government has forced our hoof," the press release read in part. "This is but one small step in the direction of the spreading of the gospel of the one and true best pony."

    "We will not stop until this country is 20% cooler than it is right now," the release says.

    This is not the first time the group has committed acts of vandalism and defacement to government property in pursuit of spreading word of Rainbow Dash, the group's de facto mascot. In 2009, the group performed a similar act on the Treasury building, claiming that it needed to produce United States currency featuring ponies instead of previous presidents.

    President Obama issued a response to the vandalism earlier this afternoon, stating in no uncertain terms that the group, which is based in Canada, will feel the full might of the United States military for their latest transgression in what the President called 'pony patriotism'.

    "The United States is, and has always been, loyal to Twilight Sparkle, and we, as a country, will not stand for this deliberate act of sabotage on our soil," the President said in his address to the American people.

    "We have begun operations in Canada to root out and bring the ringleaders of this organization to justice," Obama said.


    Obama in his speech early this afternoon. Photo courtesy of AP.


    Hours after his address to the nation, reports were received of armored tank columns rolling past the border checkpoints between Canada and the United States. Other armored vehicles and personnel carriers followed soon afterward.

    "We are very serious about protecting the sanctity of the real best pony," Obama said.

    The United Nations has condemned this action by the United States, claiming that the military action was not approved before it began.

    "President Obama did not confer with the United Nations before launching this attack," a spokesperson for the UN said in a press release soon after the campaign began. "We did not authorize this invasion, and probably would not have, given the time, on the grounds that Fluttershy is the best pony anyway."


    United States tank entering Canada. Photo courtesy of AP.


    Other countries around the world have weighed in on the situation, but it's hard to keep the rhetoric away from pony-litical ideologies as the tension mounts between the nations of the world.

    "I don't really understand what the big deal is," a spokesperson from the United Kingdom said to our reporter. "Rarity is clearly, objectively really, the best pony. I think all this fighting is just silly."

    After the above quote was given, a colleague across the room to the spokesperson shouted, quite loudly, that Pinkie Pie was much better than Rarity. What followed was a stream of cursing and insults that forced our reporter to leave the building.

    Stay tuned for continuing coverage of the situation as it unfolds.