Hello everypony,I hope you are all finding your day to be absolutely marvelous and filled with endless amounts of friendship! As you know, it is my royal duty to ensure the well being of all ponies across Equestria, and seeing the smiles on the faces of fillies and colts alike makes the tireless work I do raising and lowering the sun even more worthwhile!
Now some of you may have heard of a certain...event today. Unfortunately, the return of Princess Luna has gotten in the way of some extremely important preparations, and to top that off, my four avatars of death, famine, plague, and war are nowhere to be found. Sadly, without their assistance, I will be unable to burn every single one of you to a crisp and rip the world asunder until at least next year, probably some time around August.
I hope this doesn't inconvenience anypony! Maybe next time I won't be such a klutz :D
Your Glorious, totally non-tyrannical leader
Princess Celestia
Princess Celestia
P.S. Luna says hi
P.S.S. Would someone PLEASE send a new mailmare?
P.S.S.S. I'm bumping the New Rapture up to October, this idiot is driving me INSANE!
P.S.S.S.S. The GREAT and PO...Queen Celestia can add as many S's and P's as she damn well pleases!
P.S.S. Would someone PLEASE send a new mailmare?
P.S.S.S. I'm bumping the New Rapture up to October, this idiot is driving me INSANE!
P.S.S.S.S. The GREAT and PO...Queen Celestia can add as many S's and P's as she damn well pleases!
218 comments:
@Display Name
ReplyDeleteI don't really know why I said that. I think it's a guard thing...
@Major:
ReplyDeleteIt's fine, you're probably just a bit stressed about meeting Fluttershy tomorrow and you don't even realize.
Take it from someone who lives in Ponyville, the key to getting on her good side is to just loosen up and be gentle. You royal guards are trained to handle delicate situations, are you not? Do that, and you'll be fine.
Besides, not like you could do much worse than the last guy...
I've heard the stories about...
ReplyDeleteFlutterrage
I don't believe them for a second, she's too sweet, but yeah, I know how to be empathetic. I just hope that I don't end up startling her and ruining the date.
Also, I'm not exactly a member of the common guards, I'm here on important business for Celestia.
Well...Let's just say that's a story you'll have to hear from Fluttershy herself. Most ponies don't bring it up anymore, and to be honest my knowledge is limited to what I heard from her friends.
ReplyDeleteWell, whether you were trained to be gentle or not, I wish you the best of luck. Who knows, maybe you'll be the colt to finally get her out of her shell.
I wasn't trained to be gentle, that isn't something you can learn. I'm NOT going to ask her that on the first date. That's the last thing I'd do. If it's true, which I highly doubt it is, it might set her off. Otherwise, it'd be a complete disaster.
ReplyDeletePerhaps "trained to be gentle" was a rather strange way to convey my meaning, but oh well.
ReplyDeleteOh, no, definitely don't ask about that until you know she likes you. How did I forget to say that?...Staying up late to work on that costume is affecting my thinking apparently...
Yeah, the entire time I thought you were talking about her ex...
ReplyDeleteCostume?
(ASSUMES THE WORST)
Oh, it's just a Halloween costume that I've been planning since, well...Halloween last year.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's early by a few months, and I'm a bit old to be trick-or-treating like a foal, but everypony loves a good costume, and I like to make sure mine are high-quality.
Props dude, that's some dedication. I just hope this goes well, Celestia knows I haven't had time for relationships since I joined the guards...
ReplyDeleteOh, don't worry about it. I've only met Celestia a few times, but she seems like the type who'd be a bit lax with this kind of thing. Plus she's got probably a thousand guards in that palace of hers, plus the mobile guards and chariot jockeys, so one taking a quick break shouldn't bug her too much.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, just got the draft for the costume done, and it's 1:40 a.m. here, so I should probably go to bed now. Lemme know how things work with Flutter.
I will, night.
ReplyDeleteall hail trollestia!
ReplyDeletealso, love you luna!
Dear Princess Celestia, I represent a group of concerned griffons who would like to know if this great cleansing fire will be pony-exclusive or an equal opportunity event
ReplyDeleteHail Princess Celestia!!!!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I love you Luna!
Awwww, we're so lucky to have such beautiful, adorable Princess like Princess Celestia! Even if she did mean to burn us to a crisp to sate her extreme-heat lust.
ReplyDeleteAs a loyal citizen of Luna City I demand the return of our ruler from the evil ponies of Equestria.
ReplyDeleteFree Luna! Free Luna! Free Luna!
Princes "Celestia", you might want you go back and check that last P.S.S.S.S.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like you're someone else. A certain "Great and Powerful," someone else.
Im the 6666666 visitor
ReplyDeleteIm going to the moon damn.