Sunday, July 24, 2011

Story: What Do You Do With a Drunken Unicorn? (Update Story 2 Part 2!)

[Random] Don't they have anti-hangover magic or something in Equestria?  Honestly...these ponies are so lazy.

Author: Tumbleweed
Description: The girls have a few drinks. Silliness ensues.
What Do You Do With a Drunken Unicorn?


[Random][Shipping] Story 2

Description: Because SOMEPONY demanded it! A followup to ' What do you do with a Drunken Unicorn?' Princess Celestia gets 'that' letter from Twilight Sparkle. Slightly scandalous, but not pony-ography.
Friendship With Benefits is Magic

Friendship With Benefits is Magic 2 (New!)

Additional Tags:  Short. Silly, Slightly salacious. Celestia, Luna, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Spike

110 comments:

Anonymous said...

RDR

Nikita said...

What shall we do with a drunken pony,
What shall we do with a drunken pony,
What shall we do with a drunken pony
Early in the morning?

Shave her belly with a rusty razor
Shave her belly with a rusty razor
Shave her belly with a rusty razor
Early in the morning!

What shall we do with a drunken pony,
What shall we do with a drunken pony,
What shall we do with a drunken pony
Early in the morning?

Put her in the bed with the Princess' nephew,
Put her in the bed with the Princess' nephew,
Put her in the bed with the Princess' nephew
Early in the morning!

What shall we do with a drunken pony,
What shall we do with a drunken pony,
What shall we do with a drunken pony
Early in the morning?

Put her in a longboat till she's sober,
Put her in a longboat till she's sober,
Put her in a longboat till she's sober
Early in the morning!

Anonymous said...

Awesome story!
I just wish it was longer :(

Anonymous said...

I know what I'd do! <3

Cgeta4 said...

I love drunken ponies! :D
Also the Ending was awesome!

Batty Gloom said...

This is the second story I've read with an alcoholic Twilight. I think it has something to do with that goblet from the pilot episode.

Anonymous said...

Oh Twilight. Why would you ever drink vodka?
Vodka is hangover city. Drink some mellow rum-centric drinks, you silly pony.

Anonymous said...

Luna at the end made me LOL

locojom said...

xD I loved the ending
Is just... sooo true xD

Zarkanorf said...

@Nikita
AND THE WINNER FOR "BEST POST" GOES TO...

Anonymous said...

Drunken Twilight is best Twilight.

Anonymous said...

How can alcohol plus ponies NOT equal insane lesbian clopfic?
This makes no sense!
And to top it all off, straight Dash?
WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

On a more serious note, I liked it. The characters didn't stray much at all from their fairly well defined comfort zones, and it provided a good laugh (Oh Luna, of course she will!).

Heavy Weapons Pony said...

Funny as heck, but somewhat OOC xD
That never bothered me much though. I got a good laugh from this :)

9Nine9 said...

Epic lol. Quite a good little story, and of course, dat ending.

Anonymous said...

Lol @ Luna.

Ewyndall said...

Nice story, I have found the characters acting as you would expect from their personalities. I felt it a bit too short but still I had a good laugh :)

And the ending made me LOL :D

Anonymous said...

pear

Velvet Tux said...

"Ok, out here in Las Angeles, I thought I just enjoyed a couple drinks. I found out that back in Chicago, I actually get the kind of drunk where people won't let me hold their BABIES anymore." - Kyle Kinane.

Anonymous said...

HAH best ending ever.

Wartortle Triforce said...

Tuesday, Tuesday
Gotta get down on Tuesday
Everypony's looking forward to the shindig, shindig,

Shindign' Shindign' YEAH! Shindign' Shindign' YEAH! Fun Fun Fun Fun

Yesterday was Monday, Monday
Today it is Tuesday, Tuesday

We We We so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Wednesday
And Thursday, comes afterwards.
I don't want this shindig to end!

OtakuX said...

@Anonymous

I have NEVER had a hangover drinking vodka.

smx said...

I'm trying to think of Twilight's "Virginity Lost" Report... That's gotta be a funny one.

Anonymous said...

Doctor... Who? Oh, that one hurt.

That said, it's kinda scary how Drunk!Pinkie is exactly the same as Sober!Pinkie.

Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y said...

OH God, that ending..

Alright, somebody's gonna have to do it, and I'll put all my other fics on hold if I have to, but that is getting MADE. One way or another.

Sheepdog said...

@Nikita

THAT'S going to be stuck in my head all night! LOL!

Excellent story Tumbleweed, thank you for sharing it!

Anonymous said...

I was half-expecting a massive drunken night with all 6 of them wasted and singing Journey in the middle of town square or something.

DrOrbitalDeathRay said...

@Anonymous Dammit, now I want that too.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

This needs to be written!!

OtakuX said...

I'm not a fan of strait Dash, or the name 'Ditzy Doo', but ignoring that, it was good. Twilight, Pinkie, and Fluttershy worked well.

9Nine9 said...

@Wartortle Triforce

DAMNIT WHY

NO FUCKKKKKK Now it's stuck in my mind.

I expect more great things tumbleweed.

bubsAKAvermin said...

CONFOUND THESE PONIES
THEY DRIVE ME TO DRINK

mbulsht said...

@Wartortle Triforce


i almost shit myself laughing.

Anonymous said...

Best prank ever, indeed!

Also loved the "Dear Princess Celestia, I never thought it would happen to me..."

Anonymous said...

Friendship with benefits is magic?

Soo...

ponibooru.413chan.net/post/view/3050

Anonymous said...

The second part is excellent.

Anonymous said...

Pinkie's a clopfiction writer? XD

Anonymous said...

I laughed wholeheartedly at the second part

Anonymous said...

looks like trollestia
*puts on glasses*
just got scrolled

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

baree said...

Oh man. Best. Sequel. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Trolluna and Trollestia.

They /are/ sisters after all.

undead431 said...

@Anonymous
Fucking that!
Someone has to make pic of these two! xD

DrOrbitalDeathRay said...

@Anonymous

Slow. Clop.

9Nine9 said...

This is

the greatest thing ever written. One-shot wise.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it needs a ship tag.

That .... was ..... AMAZING!! HAHAHAHA

nova_25 said...

It's light and funny.

Last one was a bit short though... maybe other people can contribute ?

They were interesting small stories, I have to say. ;)

Chris said...

I laughed like a fiend all the way through part two. Not much else to say: 5/5 for pure comedy gold.

Anonymous said...

somepony owes me a new monitor...

Anonymous said...

I laughed hard... I wonder if Celestia would ever bring this up to Twilight?

Shades said...

That was hilarious!

hawkysu said...

Best.

Prank.

Ever.

Anonymous said...

This would have gotten my vote for the April Foals competition if it was submitted for that. Dash and Pinkie are professional trolls.

fireant said...

Second part was Brilliant with Ridicule, I chuckled all the way with this one - Fantastic Celestia/Luna bickering on the hot, steamy topic of Twilight Privees! Also, ending make me laugh hard - Dashie/Pinkie are so going to suffer, when Twilight gets a response from Celestia about her "last" letter ;)
5 starsies.

ultra8 said...

Best Prank Ever Indeed!!

Anonymous said...

One of the only fics i've read that made me actually laugh out loud.

supervanman64 said...

The part about Dash talking about Big Mac made me smile the most.

Also: that spinoff one of the prank was freakin hilarious XD

Anonymous said...

The first part was alright....

Part two was LEGENDARY! XD Best. Prank. Ever.

Trolluna was awesome, so were Pinkie and Dash.

"She even included diagrams!"
"Yes. Yes she did."

La Barata said...

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH GOD WIN.

EternalGroathe said...

That last part made me laugh my ASS off XD

Shadow Dragon said...

Part 2 is perhaps the best fanfic to date. At least the best comedy one. So damn funny.

Heartmend said...

Hahahahaha! Oh you silly ponies. XD

Anonymous said...

merry tuesday

Anonymous said...

Good story, but my inner wine connoisseur cringed at "Pinto noir." You can't drink a crappy, unreliable motor vehicle nor why would you want to?

Anonymous said...

Better question: What DON'T I do with a drunken unicorn?

[Answer: What you're thinking of.]

Anonymous said...

...Part 2 was beyond hilarious! XD

We need a follow-up to that, where Twilight gets a very... pointed letter from Celestia, which Spike reads out loud to Twilight when Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are in earshot.

Hilarity would ensue!

Xenofim said...

Hilarious! Laughed several times. Best random fic I've read so far.

Cameron Strathdee said...

My cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so hard.

Ace12541 said...

Even more Lawls, The second one was messed up, Kudos to author!

Anonymous said...

I'm a little worried by how easy it is to picture Twilight doing exactly what she does in this new part.

Aquaman52 said...

This is one of those wonderful things that's utterly hilarious purely because it shouldn't be funny at all.

God, I love this series. And I love that I can actually call it a series now. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Woo! Tuesday!

Anonymous said...

So wrong, but so hillarious!

Gotta say I appreciate the author's restraint in his descriptions, it wouldnt be nearly as funny if things got ... graphic :P

Kyle said...

... Is it wrong that a part of me wants to see Twilight's little project? Just out of morbid curiosity?

DoubleMallow said...

lol author. Caonstantly says everybody everytime he should be saying everypony, the one time he's not supposed to, he doesn't know how to say dragon.

rarityismytrollqueen said...

brilliant!

BlankFlankBrony said...

I can't say much without going spoilery, but... I'm laughing my flank off here. XD

Anonymous said...

MOAR! NAO!

Anonymous said...

Can't.. type... laughing too hard...

Moar, please!

ultra8 said...

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

Icehawk said...

Words cannot describe how amazing part 2 was.

Anonymous said...

Just as planned, eh Twilight?

Anonymous said...

High five! aww riiiight. :D

Wisecat said...

Oh my... This is so hilarious! Great job

Roxor said...

First story:

There were some funny moments, but for most of it, I just pitied Twilight.

Second story:

The princesses at the start was incredibly funny. The story could have ended at the end of their section and I would have been happy.

They do, however, make me fear for Equestria once the Internet is invented there. Those two are going to start so many flame wars.

The end of the first part had me wondering what the hell was going to happen to those two. Part two had me seriously worried that Twilight would end up convicted of pony-slaughter.

Tast said...

Hm... BAAAAAAA HA HA HA!!!
Oh dear Luna, I was laughing so hard. Awesome, five stars since it excels in its intended area.

Anonymous said...

I am so using "It's not overkill, it's science!" in conversation.

Casper said...

For some reason, i can't imagine twillight getting drunk... i just can't. Maybe pinkie, surely applejack, maybe rainbow dash, but now twillight...

God said...

I liked it, but... leather? Made from the skin of animals who are probably sapient in Equestria?

blindferret said...

Wow. Boy was she wasted.
And the ending? Made me giggle like a girl. A MANLY GIRL WATHCING PONIES.
*ahem*

Anonymous said...

Episode 1, Twilight's first reaction to the party is to go for the drink :]

Anonymous said...

Oh look, the implication that getting drunk and having casual sex is just part of growing up, and that it's a sign of maturity! THAT never gets old. Or infuriating.

Alexander Gan Zhong Ping said...

I'm an idiot.

Was Part 2 talking about condoms, or what?

Pardon, I don't use the word quite often.

Sunset Rose said...

Hahahaha! I laughed so hard.
Good job.

Anonymous said...

Two words.
Captian Cucumber.
That is all.

Anonymous said...

Funniest fic EVER.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I was caught between hysterical laughter and "WTF AM I READING?!" the whole time, but it was in the best way possible. I loved both stories, they were absolutely laugh out loud funny.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

Guess what? They are! And it is! Just because you're a hopeless stick-in-the-mud doesn't mean that other people can't recognize a good time when they see it.

Anonymous said...

They aren't, and it's not. And having it shoved down my throat by bigots such as yourself is very taxing after a while.

Havokpony said...

@Anonymous

-is not the anon you are replying to-

While not obligatory per se, sex is the most fundamental drive of every animal, and is particularly strong in young adults; and Drinking is a very strong part in western culture. MLP:FIM is a 'slice of life' show, and it is no long strech to humorously pair these adorable creatures with the most fundamental drive of all life, and the biggest and most acceptable vice of the western world. If you are offended by such things, don't read the god forsaken fics that contain them.

Bronode said...

PffffAHAHAHAHA!! Yes! Oh my word, puh-leez tell me Rarity's gonna get a shot at revenge, these are just priceless!

And at the anon who seriously needs to get drunk; get drunk.

Seriously.

With friends. That's the important bit, get drunk with friends. Trust me, it's lots of fun. You don't even need to have sex with them! I know I haven't. At least I hope I haven't... time, memory and... other things can get a bit funny when you're on the sauce.

And Havokpony, I'd say sex takes a back seat to survival in most cases, and just about everything else in the case of pandas. I mean seriously, what is with those things? When a species can't even muster the effort to bonk its way out of the jaws of oblivion it's about time to pull the plug.

bobmortar said...

I lol'd so hard at story 2 :D

Story 1's screwdrivers brought back some partly forgotten memories...

Aldea_Donder said...

This made me laugh. A lot.

RavensDagger said...

You misspelled Everypony...

Anonymous said...

story 2 made me laugh my ass of.

Dempsey23 said...

Fuggin. Hilarious. Wished it could have been longer. Laughed my buttocks into a coma. The ending is the best.

poopnate said...

Was that an Andrew W.K. reference in Story 2.2 or am I delusional?

I loved it! Great pranks on both sides. :P

TenchiFreak5 said...

All three chapters were some really funny shit.

MuffinShy said...

This was cool, Luna at ending of first one made me crack up. Other two were lovely too. :D

banannagram said...

I will never get that out of my brain. NEVER.

Macilnar said...

"It's not overkill, it's science!"

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