Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Story: Bubbles

[Sad] Poor derpy..
Description: The origin story of little Derpy's cutie mark.
Bubbles

Fan Art
Source

Source


Source

(Comic, Click here for Full: Spoiler)

Fan Endings
Alternate Ending by Bowtar

277 comments:

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Anonymous said...

You bastard, why did you make me read that?
Now I'm all sad.

Anonymous said...

woooow I really enjoyed it, was bittersweet

Anonymous said...

I regret reading that... 5/5 stars :'(

Anonymous said...

oh my god. this broke my heart. incredible writing.

FightingFire said...

I didn't even read it yet and I'm crying. 5/5.
Now that I did read it, I'm super crying. My tears have tears.

cabbit said...

Manly pony tears! Great story, sad though... makes me not like her mom at all, but Derpy has her loving father. Yay Derpy!

ruff1298 said...

My, this was quite the saddening story.

I absolutely adored how you managed to paint this heartbreaking and tragic scenario in such a cute and innocent manner, as if Derpy Hooves herself was writing it.

The ending was most especially powerful, particularly with how enamored Derpy is with the bubbles and can't even see that she's been abandoned.

Please don't make a sequel. Derpy is fine as is. Though I have to admit, part of me wants to see a reunion., several years later when she makes a delivery.

5/5 Stars

Anonymous said...

Confound these ponies
they drove me to tears

Anonymous said...

MUST NOT CRY.
MUST NOT CRY.

...fuck it. ;_;

Anonymous said...

Dude...my feel-bads. Right square in them.
That was goddamn heart-rending.

Stahi said...

Wait, was she just.. Oh man. :(

Anonymous said...

Dude, how the hell is this not labeled Grimdark? Well maybe it's more Nobeldark(or was it GrimBright? I cant remember the alignment chart), but I aint gona mince words.

Don't get me wrong, it was a fantastic read. But Jesus man, a bit of warning woulda been nice.

Anonymous said...

this was great but this def needs a grimdark tag to warn just because its so sad

5/5 story btw

Sandman said...

Wow. This was seriously powerful.
No tears from this one, but I did have a major lump in my throat.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully people are reading these comments before reading the actual story. If you're one of those people, be forewarned: this story is depressing as hell.

However, it was also very skillfully and uniquely written. 5/5 stars and goddamn you, writefriend.

Anonymous said...

What... no, this can't...
NO THIS CAN'T BE REAL!
This drove me to tears ;_;

Anonymous said...

Oh wow... so I WASN'T reading too much into it when I realized that her mom tried to poison her in the muffin scene...

Poor Derpy.

I'm going to assume that her Dad did find her again. I mean, there WERE houses nearby, and word that the wall eyed disabled pony was lost would spread fast.

hikuro said...

Im...sad...now...

JankTankJoe said...

Damn. I thought it was all nice, but then the poisoning, and then the kidnapping/abandonment, and then bubbles.
I was seriously moved. As said earlier, since it was from Derpy's perspective, it seemed innocent no matter what happened, and she never knew that her mom hated her.

I hope she meets her dad one day.

Anonymous said...

Grimdark. Needs it badly.

Just cause it's named bubbles...

Cereal Velocity said...

I saw a Derpy picture. I assumed this would be a happy story. I didn't even read the comments. Oh god, I regret that.

Gonna try to get rid of this lump in my throat with some critique. You had a good cadence going and your choice of words was very consistent throughout. I definitely was getting a Flowers for Algernon vibe and I loved that book. Technically this well-presented.

... still sad.

Poultron said...

Oh god dammit. Didn't cry from this, but man if it isn't depressing as all hell, and distressingly well-written to boot. Having everything told from Derpy's perspective is a fantastic choice, and I don't think the story would be anywhere near as powerful without it.

Haybaler Bass said...

Beautiful. This one echoes my own visions of Derpy, and stayed with me all day. I think why we're drawn to Derpy is that she's something amiss in the utopia - the ponyverse shifts for the better, and deeper, when we factor in very real events like disability.

I also think I and many others would love to hear more from little Derpy. Maybe in a sequel she could hear back from Daddy, who could get her into bringing the mail.

And yes.. not Grimdark, but emotionally powerful. "Lumpthroat"might be a good descriptor here.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get it. :| fail.
SO MANY QUESTIONS. Why did her parents abandon her? :(

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous
you aren't a very bright pony are you?
she was not abandoned by her parents just her mom
and her mom did it because she was fucking mental megabitch

and in her words derpy is retarded

xanonx said...

Holy crap. This is among one of the best stories i've ever read, pony or non pony. I wish it was longer, and a bit less simple, like, explaining what Mommy and Daddy said, or just plainly, more in depth. I want to read more by this author!

Victorian R. Hellsly said...

A very beautiful and sad tale, the simplicity of the narrative and Derpy's childish innocence gives the story its emotional core. The choice of perspective really gives us an insight into the mind of a little pony who just doesn't understand the world around her and wants nothing more then the love of her mother and her father.

I don't think this story is grimdark at all. It is sad though; it's drama and storytelling at it's finest.

ChromeCrash said...

wow, I kinda want a sequel, if only to give this story a happy ending. you know, where derpy's dad comes by to pick her up, and they (sans mom) move to ponyville.

5/5

Anonymous said...

@Victorian R. Hellsly
grimdark isn't really the right word but i think it needs to be tagged to warn readers that dont want to read sadfics

I read the comments before so i knew what i was in-for but from what others are saying a few went into it expecting a cute fic about derpy being bubbly or something and were in for a surprise that left them sad

Shadow Phoenix said...

I was not expecting such a sad fic. At the same time, I'm happy that I didn't know. It helped me get into Derpy's mind, so the poison muffins didn't seem malicious and the bubble scene felt like a way of making up right until the end.

If she never saw her parents again, I'd like to see how she got into mail/delivery. Maybe the forepony from Feeling Pinkie Keen took her in?

Anonymous said...

I read this before going to work this morning, and damn do I regret that. It stuck with me all day! Not gonna lie, I teared up a bit. Beautiful story, beautifully written. Well done.

Phoe said...

...Wow. This is absolute brilliance. The style is so unique and authentic, and the perspective it provides just sucks the reader into the story and doesn't let them back out for anything. The challenge involved in walking the tightrope between writing as a child and writing childishly is beyond massive, and there are not enough words in the English language to praise the skill with which that line was traversed.

Super emotional. Unique. Beautiful. I say again, wow.

Sind said...

This deserves the five stars and then some

Talix said...

That was... depressing. And beautiful. Reminded me of Flowers For Algernon. Thank you, writer T.T

Anonymous said...

6/5. Makes me want to find and send her Miss Sweetie ;_;

Colton said...

*clap* *clap* *clap*

Iratu "Clockwork" said...

Did not think it well make me cry. man i was off on that.

Crackerjack Rocket said...

@Talix "Flowers for Algernon" was the first thing I thought of, too.

Gahd that was...powerful excellent, especially if you have a hankering to drown in tears. ;__; =**{ Bravo...!

Anonymous said...

you broke my heart. i'll never be able to blow bubbles again.

Anonymous said...

http://madtown.cc/d/27616-1/Slow-Clap.gif

Midnight said...

so much raeg from me because you didn't label this as grimdark. I also hate derpy's mom in this. It made me so sad :( why y'all gotta make the derpster sad. it's such a sad story :(

Anonymous said...

@Midnight Derpy wasn't sad, she had beautiful bubbles!

:(

Anonymous said...

I wasn't brought to tears over this but inside I was weeping softly. As the brother of a mental challenged boy I know how some parents can't cope with the stress or the "shame" of having a disabled child and do horrible things for their own selfish reasons. But the actions of derpy's mother was despicable. Want to wring her neck for want she did to innocent sweet derby. Kudos author Just makes me appreciate my brother more for how sweet he is.

Anonymous said...

*derpy

Anonymous said...

I think where the story ended is fine but DAMNIT! I WANT MORE!

Why can't I stop reading this!? :(

Anonymous said...

MOAR

Ilana said...

So...Derpy's like mentally ill? lmao

Anonymous said...

@Ilana

>lmao

you are scum

Anonymous said...

male /co/lt here, this one didnt make me cry(like most of the sad stories do) but i felt happy for derpy that she didnt have a clue as to what was going on, ignorance really is bliss.

Anonymous said...

Oh god
oh god i cant stop crying
Counfound these ponies, they drive me to sobbing

Roy G. Biv said...

Derpy's Mom... ALL MY HATE! *cries*

Anonymous said...

Wow. That was beautifully written. Now I'm all teary-eyed.

Anonymous said...

When I realized her dad didn't know about the muffins... BE STILL MY HEART
So good, def 5/5.

Anonymous said...

I have an autistic sister. I will hug her more the next time I'm home.

Anonymous said...

suggestion for sequel, a younger big mac and applejack find her in the everfree forest (according to lauren faust its near sweet apple acres)

Anonymous said...

I'm not going to lie to you guys, i cried.
5/5 this story made my week.

Pacce said...

On the one hand, I don't like Derpy written as mentally deficient.
But on the other hand, this actually seems... respectful.
And we know that she turns out alright in the end, she just has go through this first.
Kinda don't get how her mother talked her way out of poisoning her the first time, but then that's not the point.

Anonymous said...

@Pacce

I figured mama-Derpy just never got caught. An Equestria doctor probably wouldn't be able to diagnose a mystery poisoning accurately at all. Especially when the patient has lots of potentially pre-existing conditions.

Even if they did know it was poison, it's not unlikely that a little pony like Derpy could get into something she shouldn't, after all.

Anonymous said...

...Goddamned bubbles, man.

Great job.

Adrian Brony said...

Am I the only one mildly confused as to exactly why she was left alone with her mother again? Like, after her mother tried to kill her? or was that somepony else and Derpy just didn't notice?

Anonymous said...

@Adrian Brony

I dont think they KNEW she poisoned the muffins

Adrian Brony said...

@Anonymous

if they didn't know then why did her father and mother get into a huge argument over it and why wasn't she allowed to see derpy in the hospital?

Anonymous said...

I just finished reading it, I kept scrolling dow and down, I kept looking for a "next page" button, but I can't find none, and I realize THAT is the ending... I has sad now...

Anonymous said...

@Adrian Brony

Simple, the doctors could assume that Derpy eat something dangerous without her parents supervision, and her father blame her mother for being so careless.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

And lets not forget that her mother didn't have any compelling reason to visit her anyway. It's not like she, you know, cared or anything.

Brian said...

...I hate you.

*goes to cry in the corner*

Sir Leadhead said...

sadface :(

nicely done. Love the style. Too sad to write long sentences. Sob.

Doc said...

Oh wow. Disturbingly not the saddest piece of fanfiction I've read recently, but an excellent story.

Heavy Weapons Pony said...

I went into this not really knowing what to expect other than this being sad. But I dont know if something is wrong with me. I feel like I should cry but Im not.

Im just trying to make sense of how somepony with such a childhood can live up to have a life. Id like to think that she has gotten smarter since then because otherwise every other Derpyfic I have read would be non-sensical.

I dont know what to say.

Anonymous said...

I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LAUGH AT DERPY AGAIN!!! GOD DAMN YOU! D,:>

Heavy Weapons Pony said...

Also, Ive found out that this is one of those stories that get sadder everytime you read it. So if you dont want tears all over your Keybord...

Rayo said...

IT will be painfully sad that her daddy comes back home and his princess is not there.....

The Epic Spammastor of Ponifics said...

GUYS!
You forget that she was in a cloud-based city in Sonic Rainboom! She learned how to fly, and it was most likely her father that taught her. (Seeing that she will probably not allow anyone else!)

Everyone went through sadness in their childhood in one way or another, and this story made me sad, but I don't really see the point in moping over it now that we know what happened to Derpy. The end might not justify the means, but we don't have the past or the future- we've only the present.

Also, 5/5. I've seen this style of writing several times before, but never in the eyes of something that I was kinda rooting for...

Anonymous said...

@The Epic Spammastor of Ponifics

Congratulations, you have managed to preform closed chest heart surgery without even being in the same room and without the use of surgical tools.

I can just see her dad looking all over for her, finding her, beating the shit out of her mother, and then teaching her to fly.

Anonymous said...

The writing style is a lot like what I would Imagine a young version of "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" would be.
I liked that book, too

KawaiiMelon said...

@The Epic Spammastor of Ponifics

Thank you, mysterious spammaster of Ponyfics, for clearing that up.

In other words, I hate the alternate character interpretation that Derpy is retarded. For one, they would never even go there in a child's cartoon, and two, the show confirms she is perfectly sane. How else would she be able to preform in the Winter Wrap-up or enter a flying competition in Sonic Rainboom?

Anonymous said...

Wait, what happened to her doll? Did the mother take it with her when she just fucking abandoned Derpy? That makes it all so much worse. Damn you and your excellent writing skills!

Anonymous said...

I have two special needs brothers and one is kinda like derpy because his eyes move independently of each other and it's not fixable through medication or anything so he'll be looking through one eye at a time at a two dimensional world because his other eye will roll to the side and be useless while one eye is functioning, making him unable to gauge distance or anything very well. His biological mother was like Derpy's in this only she didn't even go so far as to try to trick him she just did bad things to him and moved him far away from my father when she and he divorced and didn't tell my dad where she moved to so my dad couldn't go and save him. She left my half brother alone for weeks sometimes to fend for himself. So this fic made me really think again about all the things my brother went through. I did not cry but I do feel sad. That was a touching story, it reminds me of Flowers For Algernon, that story made me cry because it made me think about my other special needs brother who isn't wall eyed. At least Derpy didn't know she was abandoned, at least she wasn't scared. Poor Derpy. I do want a sequel just for a happy ending but it is more powerful without a happy ending.

c938a588-7451-11e0-b87a-000bcdcb8a73 said...

I usually avoid fanfics, but I this one intrigued me, so I read it. (I must add, it's the first MLP:FiM fanfic I ever read.) It's very powerfull, emotional, has sad moments, and happy moments.
As some said before me I love how the narration is styled from Ditzy/Derpy's innocent & carefree perspective. It gives it a bittersweet vibe.

Also gives alot more meaning to her "cutie mark," and why bubbles are important to her.

Anonymous said...

DERPY JUST WANTED TO EAT THE PURPLE MUFFINS AND TELL HER DAD ALL THE COLOURS IN THE SKY BUT SHE CAN'T 'CAUSE THE BUBBLES AND HER MOM AND *incoherent mumbling* WITH HER MOM AND HER DAD WAS GONNA TEACH HER TO FLY AND *uncontrollable sobbing* YOU BASTARD! WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THIS? THE AMOUNT OF EMOTIONAL ANGUISH THIS GENERATED IN ME IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE! Why!??!?! *fading screams of heartbreak*

Anonymous said...

Okay, new tag, Grimdigo!
Grim + Indigo!

(as an autist myself and someone who has been around other people on or way off the spectrum I can say for more than myself that that's not offensive)

Anonymous said...

...damn.

Shit goes hard.

Anonymous said...

my heart

it breaks...

Anonymous said...

In case the author doesn't make a happy ending for this awesome but sad story.....

Remember that scene when Derpy dropped that piano on Twilight? By that point shes overcome her 'disabilities' enough that she can have a job and a better awareness of her situation.....

And id like to think her dad taught her to fly like he said he would! :D
Hope this helped.

Anonymous said...

You know what is worse?
That this actually happens IRL...

DaimoMac said...

@Anonymous

As much as I disagree with spousal abuse, I kinda wanna see the mom get smacked for that.

this fic made my heart heavy and very very sad. Need more happy.

Sagebrush said...

The treatment of Derpy by her mother in this story was horrible. I could never imagine treating one's child, or anyone for that matter, in such a manner.

Having said that, the rest of the story didn't make me feel sad. When I say that, it is not a dig at the telling, but rather a different interpretation of it. Certainly as an outside observer with more cognizance of Derpy's situation, it seems unfortunate. As someone with an unhindered level of physical and mental ability, to see another without the same advantages causes me to imagine the loss of my own; it stirs compassion and commiseration.

However, from assuming Derpy's vantage there only seems to be a pervasive sense of optimism. Although she had many moments during which she shed tears, there were many where she was just happy. She laughed, she had a father whom she loved and who in turn loved her back, she could dream of the future, and most importantly she could enjoy the world through her unique perspective.

Such a level of contentment is enviable.

Nullh said...

Aww man, just....
Q_Q

Anonymous said...

I think that Derpy's father KNEW that her mother poisoned her. The mother probably faked remorse, and because the father wanted them to be a big happy family, he believed her.

In a way, I'm happy for Derpy. Sometimes being abandoned is better than living in an abusive home.

Aquaman52 said...

I didn't cry, but...damnit, it was touch-and-go for a while there. Considering that it's very rare for a story to make me feel any sort of real emotion, I'd say that means this was pretty fantastic.

The simpler writing style was, to put it bluntly, utterly perfect. This story wouldn't have had the inherent innocence that made it so heartbreaking and horrifying without that sense of the narrator (Derpy) not understanding anything that's going on. Now, that being said...you have a seriously dark mind, my friend. But then again, so do I.

This is how grimdark is meant to be done. Excellent fic.

Gnollbard said...

Oh god. Oh... just... agh. This is too much. Very... very well done. I think I hurt a little on the inside now.

Anonymous said...

Tears... but... 6/5. I cried, but I regret nothing.

Condor said...

It.....left me with an empty feeling. I was thinking, "Why did it end at there? Why didn't the author.....wait....." D:

Very well written, emotionally moving story.

Anonymous said...

Kudos to the author, it really moved me and made me watery eyed. Thanks for making this excellent story!

The Deadmaker said...

Holy Jegus, that was some heavy shit. Uh, I'm... sad? That is a first. What do I do now? Confound these ponies, driving me to emotion.

Spork The Cat said...

Such a sad story. It was really well written. I don't think it would of been nearly as powerful if it wasn't written form Derpy's perspective.

Anonymous said...

many tears for derpy...

Wsed said...

I love this how this story is written. It makes me want to learn more of what happened after the ending of the story. Like "Flowers for algernon", when the story ends, you wanted to learn more about it. Great story, 6/5, cudos to the author. I wish she will be found and gets to live with her dad. ;_;

9Nine9 said...

Seth needs to implement the six-star category.

If only for this story.

biggoobafish said...

I just finished some fanart for this fic.
http://sawsta.deviantart.com/art/Derpy-With-Miss-Sweetie-208166881
The most emotional fic I have ever loved
5/5

Anonymous said...

Going from cupcakes to this makes me feel weird inside

Anonymous said...

The story itself is well written and gut wrenching, but I don't think it really fits "Derpy/Ditzy" from what we see.

As others have pointed out above, Derpy appears to be a more or less functioning member of Ponyville, participating in the Winter Wrap Up and other public events without obvious special accommodation. The Derpy in the fic doesn't sound like she could function at that level.

Anonymous said...

So sad:(

Anonymous said...

I'm not crying, but I AM extremely depressed... That is powerful stuff right there.

Timey Wimey said...

@KawaiiMelon
>they would never even go there in a child's cartoon
Oh, but they have, especially when the cartoon has an educational intent. I remember Fat Albert went there once. Honestly written, even MLP can go there, dispel some fear and prejudice, and provide some understanding of what mental disability is.

Ron said...

I had to remind myself that Derpy is seen alive and happy in the series sometime after this story to keep myself from cracking. Criminey, some should just not be parents.

Anonymous said...

I didn't cry when I read this, but I sure as hell felt like it.

This is really beautifully written, and I love how even though it's from the perspective of Derpy, who really has no idea what's going on, you've managed to make the situation perfectly clear. The most powerful part was the very end when her mother has left and she doesn't even realize because she's so happy. Really adds a whole new demention to the character... at least she seems to have grown up and forgotten by now :(

Anonymous said...

Wow... That was just... Just... Wow... ;.;

PH. Pinkie Pie said...

When I saw that picture of Derpy being alone. I was depressed. But when I zoomed it, I realized that she was smiling and enjoying while she is playing bubbles. I instantly bawl'd a lot.

The story is beautiful and really touching. It's well written. I give this 6 out of 5. No debt. And I'm 15, male, straight and a brony.

Anonymous said...

16, male, straight.

This shouldn't really be considered fan-fiction... It's a true short story. Written in dialect, has a clear-cut plot that makes you think, and its ending both depresses and lifts up the reader. You, sir or ma'am, are a true writer.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, it would be interesting to read a story from the dad's POV to give us even more backstory, which I get why most details were implied (Derpy being mentally disabled), but it would still be interesting to see it from his eyes.

Japko said...

I cried. I really did. Not like bawwing and sobbing. I just let tears roll down my cheeks. Thank you, author. I needed that.

Anonymous said...

It took me a few tries to fully understand this story, but when I finally understood it and the picture, I bawled.
Changing a few names here and there, this could be a truly gut-wrenching tale for any situation. I keep having to remind myself that Derpy's alive and a happy, functioning member of Ponyville society so I don't sob like a baby. Few fanfics have that power, so I commend you, author. 5/5.

Francisco A. Medina said...

why are people crying over this? its a mediocre story at best

Anonymous said...

I defiantly cannot say I will be able to make fun of Derpy Hooves anymore, Fan Fiction or not.

Inkwell said...

So sad, but so great!

In my heart, I know her dad left her evil mom and searched and searched and searched until he found her and then taught her to fly!

Anonymous said...

Dude, this hit me quite hard. Good job. It is not often that I get to read something such as this.

Anonymous said...

Did this make me sad? Yep. Tears? No. When Mommy put her into the cart, I immediately thought "This is gonna turn Hansel & Gretel-like, huh?" And lo, I was vindicated. :p

However, I really get the feeling that this story ended sooner than it should, not so much because it ended on a sad note, as there's a whole lot of implications that point the story to a brighter end.

Her father sure cares for her deeply, that is obvious. He is also a pegasus. I'd assume he could get a search and rescue team together to comb through Equestria for her, no matter what lame story her mother gave. Thus, recovery from the woods. I'd also assume that her father would take on a "fool me once" strain of logic and ditch Mommy, *especially* if her story didn't match what happened to Derpy (but that is my own conjecture, you can't really draw that from the story; just recovery from the woods).

I'd say I was reading too much into this story if I didn't come up with all of this in a 30 second timeframe after I finished it...

Jade said...

Quick this comic is needed: http://rizcifra.deviantart.com/#/d3gdd85
happy ending for this story! :')

Anonymous said...

@Francisco A. Medina

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole. :P

private-enemy said...

Didn't think a fic about Derpy of all ponies would make me sad, but sure enough this did. As someone whose job requires working with special needs children, this story broke my heart. :(

Chaos Knux said...

Manly... Tears... UNENDING! I'm probably going to be severely injured by this but...

FREEE MUFFIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!!!!!!

".......mmmmmmmm--"
Here she comes...
"--MMMMMMMMMMMMUUUUUU--"
...this is gonna hurt...
"--UUFFFIIIIII--"
...but it will be worth it!
"--IIIINNNNNS!!!!!!!!"

*plowed into the ground by a loving Derpy tackle* "MUFFINS! WHERE'S A MUFFIN?"

*gets up and hugs Derpy* ...Silly Muffin, "That's a hug, not a muffin. Now where's my muffin?"
*smiles, gives bottomless bucket of infinite muffins*
"MUFFINS! *munches for 3 days*"

PanDuh said...

I love this story. It really was creative and it even proves a life fact: Sometimes things might not be alright, but in the end, you'll wind up enjoying the wonderful things the world can offer.

No crying sadly, but it really was a touching story.

Anonymous said...

I read two fanfics today first was cupcakes which I laugh throughout the whole thing (you could say I really enjoy schadenfreude), the second fanfic I read was this one . . . and I cry like a smal child

Anonymous said...

I relate to this story far more than I want to, and yet the bubbles thing still comes off feeling a little silly.

Tamar said...

Holy ... that was incredible. I thought at first the childish voice was just bad storywriting, but it's a powerful technique ... deserves every one of those six stars.

Thorin said...

This story resonates with me because I'm running a couple of roleplays in which I play Dinky as a maladjusted, hurting child who hates her mom. Now I see that poor Derpy can't can't catch a break--hate from the older generation and the younger alike. Good stuff, because it makes her all the more tender and pitiable.

SparkyScramble said...

I... I don't want to read anymore. Don't get me wrong, this was an amazing story, honestly the best I've ever read, not just the best fanfic mind you, it's the best story I've read, ponies or not. But I'm gonna go re-watch some episodes or something. I just wanna make the sadness go away.

Present Perfect said...

Stap me, this was gorgeous. Where are the bloody stars, this needs 5 or 10!

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9fMdUnpXF4&NR=1

Anonymous said...

D8 so sad...

Anonymous said...

wait.....why was she feeling sick? did she eat too many muffins?

anon. said...

@Anonymous Her mom poisoned the muffins so she will just die quietly.

koogrr said...

Thanks, immensely.

I'm currently caring for a parent with dementia. While that isn't this story, there's a lot in this story that really speaks to me.

DancingBlades15 said...

I didn't exactly cry, but I did feel sad, obviously. Probably the most notable thing about this story is the extremely unique way you wrote this. It was fascinating how you more or less captured the mind of Derpy, made the story all the more enthralling. I'd like to know how Derpy learned to fly and everything, but that doesn't fall under your jurisdiction. Fantastic job. 5 stars

Anonymous said...

All that I can think is that this music plays over the ending....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=002pBPeRorg

Anonymous said...

5/5. same as above^

Anonymous said...

*Me before reading this fanfic* Pfff, I don't understand how people are sad at this

(Me after reading the fanfic...) (Ocean of tears) That was a sad story and a good one at the same time. 5/5. Now if you will excuse me I gotta go back too my corner and cry some more.

Nightmommy said...

OH GOD MY HEART
WHY DO I READ SADFICS
6/5 would bawl again

Timber said...

... I hate this story.

Anonymous said...

I typically don't get sad at stories, I'm a very stoic person, but this was just.. B'aw, it tore at my heart. Maybe I'm just sleepy, but I feel a little gloomy now.

I guess her mom couldn't take it.

johnnosk said...

I'm forever blowing bubbles...

Anonymous said...

THIS = season 2 episode worthy

Sunset Rose said...

What a wretch...
I feel so bad for Derpy.
It was skillfully-written. Being able to write from little Derpy's special childhood FPV takes a measure of talent and understanding.
5/5 from me.

Anonymous said...

I'll never look at bubbles the same again. *sobs*

Anonymous said...

Aww derpy. I thought she was one to usual laugh at.... but this just makes me feel bad. I love how well it was done and from the point of derpy which most cutie mark stories should be told from.
*sniffle* I'm a teen and i'm sniffling about this.

Anonymous said...

I really want a sequel. Have her father take her to a new home with Ms. Sweetie. The new home is ponyville and they end up living happily.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous

Agreed, it could also explain how she ended up in Ponyville, her and her dad after ditching the evil mom move there to start a happer life.

Anonymous said...

Not really I think one of the fanfics explained how she got there. Just look under the tags of Derpy Hooves.

nomyriad said...

I envy the ones who could contain their tears.

I had the nasal mucus flowing and everything.

Crying is gross. Yet this story was somehow simply beautiful.

Matariel said...

It's amazing how Derpy's optimism and innocence can make such sickening and horrifying things seem almost benign

Anonymous said...

Nope. I didn't cry when I read this. Nope. Not at all.

*sniffle*

IT WAS SO SAD AND BEAUTIFUL AND SAAAAAD.

Anonymous said...

Excellence.

Avogadro said...

@Talix
That was literally the exact same story that went through my head when reading this. The way it was simplistically written reminded me of Charlie's entries early on in the book. Both of these stories me weep like an infant. Six stars please.

Anonymous said...

Just when you think that life has beaten you so bad that you can't cry anymore...

bubbles.

:'(

Sunbeamer said...

T_T OH GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYY.

I mean. I don't really know how to feel about this being canon-Derpy/Ditzy (I have a fondness for the name Ditzy Doo, what can I say?) because she seems to be functional, if a bit, well, DITZY in the show, but still wonderful, powerful, and heartbreaking.

WAAAAAAH THE BUBBLLLLLLESSSS.

Anonymous said...

I cried right when Derpy got her stomach-ache, and never stopped crying ever sense then. Now I'm wonder what Derpy's daddy is going to do when he finds his daughter not there. And there's no way that Derpy's mother got home so quicky....

Chompy said...

Amazing. If all of the comments above haven't pressed the point enough, this piece was incredible. 6/5

I don't think I'll be able to look at Bubbles the same way again... I might just go buy some today and relax at a park and blow some bubbles and just marvel at the world for a bit.

Yeah, I think I'll do that.

Anonymous said...

It took me a moment or two to understand the ending, and when I did MANLY TEARS EVERYWHERE.

T~T

Silfir said...

"one of derpy's favorite things to do is helping mommy"

Fuck me, I haven't even started reading the story properly yet but I just know already I'm going to be bawling my eyes out.

Silfir said...

OH WHAT THE FUCK YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT TO HER

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

all my stars 7/5

Anonymous said...

This is so fucking sad, why you gotta make me cry bro?

Someone should send Derpy's mum to the glue factory

bowtar said...

Hey everyone, I just wrote an alternate ending to this fanfic.

It was inspired by RizCifra's comic(http://rizcifra.deviantart.com/#/d3gdd85)

And it's not nearly as sad as the original, so if you've been feeling down after reading it, hopefully mine will cheer you up. :)

http://bowtar.deviantart.com/art/Raindrops-and-Cloudbubbles-226034921

Anonymous said...

God... looks like I have a heart!

Anonymous said...

I have no words, but I have an emoticon: ;C;

Anonymous said...

..Why must Derpy be a retard?

And I feel sad now D:

Anonymous said...

Haha Derpy.

Anonymous said...

Really nice writing style...I didn't cry with this one but I still find it really really sad...poor Derpy :(...

Anonymous said...

Okay, so first Mommy called Derpy a "reetard" then fed Derpy muffins that were poisoned so she went to the nice place and Mommy wasn't there and then when Daddy left to go to work Mommy took Derpy far away where Derpy didn't know where she was 'cause she fell asleep and then Mommy put Derpy by a tree with some bubbles and then left Derpy?

*sobsobsobsob*

Anonymous said...

Funniest story on ED

Anonymous said...

Mommy was taking medicine to make herself stop crying.

...
...
...substance abuse?

Tricky Step said...

This story has no mercy for anyone remotely familiar with Derpy's upbringing. It will grind at your heart like no other story.

Oh lord, it rips my heart apart. The alternate ending is NECESSARY to keep me from feeling completely dejected.

Mrguyman said...

Sometimes throughout the story, all I could say was "I see what you did there." I'd say this is almost as good as Cupcakes :D

James said...

...

Now I'm sad. Geez, this fandom has attracted all sorts of great writers. If I weren't already busy with other fanfiction and job-hunting, I'd be writing for this fandom too... Guess I'll have to store my ideas for later...

Course, this fic got me thinking about the apparent Word of God that Ditzy/Derpy's gonna be upgraded from background to minor character next season. I'm excited to see what her characterization will be... If only to see who's got the closest interpretation.

asdasasefasd said...

Well that definitely made me sad... No tears though.

When I get sad, my head gets all... Heavy and I can't think straight...

Will said...

Blubbered like a baby. Very, very, VERY well-written -- suitably simple without being insulting, but holy crap was that story cruel. Ouch. Still weepy.

Anonymous said...

I kinda cried...

Anonymous said...

I look for Derpy in every episode, and now every time I find her, I will become sad remembering this story.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, author. In ten minutes you took a strong-hearted, quite cheery individual and reduced him to a sniffling emotional mess.

6/5 (not a typo)

Anonymous said...

i don't understand this. maybe because im so young ***SPOILER*** was derpy's mom abandoning her? why did she go to the hospital? what did her mom give her?

Anonymous said...

This was sad the first time I read it... it made me feel torn apart from the inside )': but then the alternate ending made me happy again (:

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous
Celestiadamnit that comment only made me more sad.
...
You bastard. Now I have go read Vinyl Scratch Tapes and Progress just to get mildly happy again...

Anonymous said...

The Original story had me crying my eyes out. the Alt-Ending had me cry tears of joy.

Confound these authors they drive me to tears

Anonymous said...

Wow that was deep if I wasn't so apathetic I would be crying my eyes out :(

Anonymous said...

i dont cry much but this story made me feel depressed. GOOD F*CKING WORK 5/5

crystalvoodoo91 said...

I didn't cry. I felt a lump in my throat, but I didn't cry. I seriously wanted to though, but I was in company, and I don't cry when I'm not at my own house. I don't like people asking me if I'm ok. Chances are when I get home I'll reread this in my room and burst into buckin tears.;_;

DantE.MusT.DiE said...

I've read the story, and I can truly say this is one sad piece of writing.

Truly deserving of 6 Stars, I assure you.

Pony In Chief said...

I skipped Manly Tears and went to full-on bawling. It's a fantastic story.

Do you mind if I take snippets from this for my story? (joshmike@comcast.net)

awh said...

They need to do way instain mother> who kill their ponnys. because these ponnie cant frigth back?

Ryan U said...

Managed to hold back manly tears. How can a fictional story about another fictional story make me so upset? Answer: sad Derpy.

ApetureTestSubject said...

Beautiful. I am rarely moved but today this has warmed my heart. The depths of darkness of the human(or pony) mind shown, along with the child like perspective just was so enjoyable.
Thank you.I do not regret reading this.

Derpy is my favorite pony even though she is mainly fan written at the moment.

Scorpionu95 said...

Truly...This story is a true piece of genius. Seeing the harsh world as it is through the eyes of a child (filly)
It is very well made :)

Saint Ragnarok said...

wait a minute, Does derpy's mom just abandon her by leaving her under the tree?

Mustang said...

Being mostly a grimdark reader, This was something that I was hesitant about at first. I am so glad I read this. Probably the best fanfic I have read. 5/5

Dragonsrules77 said...

Protected innocence is a rare thing in stories, and this story is impervious to adulteration...

Chaosbo1 said...

i think the reasone she started delivering mail is so she can see her father one day

Fallen Star said...

I feel nothing. Something is wrong with me. D:

Maxwell "Grash" Threnth said...

This had me turn from a agitated man to just thoughtful and sad. Bravo, I haven't felt like this in a long time.

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