Sunday, June 12, 2011

Story: A Bad Case of Derpes (Update Part 2!)

[Normal]  Derpy hooves stuff

Author: ToonyD
Description: After Celestia gets a strange letter from Derpy, she goes down to Ponyville to see whats going on with this strange pegasis.
A Bad Case of Derpes Part 1
A Bad Case of Derpes Part 2 (New!)

50 comments:

Zarkanorf said...

Another "To Be Continued"... Welp, that means for another part, but I'm a little bit curious about how Derpy is going to be personified this time around... creepy derpy?

hikuro said...

The story just unfolded slightly and then

to be continued.

Im excited for the next one.

Anonymous said...

Too mean.
Derpy's not that stupid.

Roy G. Biv said...

This one pissed me off. I loved how it was written, and I loved how it started... And then JUST as it started to get interesting... END.

It made me rare so bloody hardcore.

ruff1298 said...

Though I honestly prefer a Smart Derpy to stupid Derpy, your version is honestly shaping up to be a very interesting version of Derpy Hooves.

I absolutely adore the Lined Letter gag (and the translation joke), the Junque (Junk Antique) Joke, Twilight's helmet, and Pinkie Pie's extremely blunt explanations about the eccentricities of Derpy Hooves.

I look forward to the next part.

TooneyD said...

Sorry about the "TO BE CONTINUED," guys.
I just started writing it at midnight, and the rest of it was written in the morning.
In retrospect, I think it would have been MUCH better to just hold out sending it here until it was completely finished, or at the very least, had a better ending that ended a bit less abruptly.
At least I SORTOF added some stuff at the end, but i guess I should still try to make it better.
But then again, this is my first fic, so I'm just trying to get the hang of it.
More critique's will help me, so keep it up!

TooneyD said...

Actually, now that i think about it, i think i should just keep it as one file, instead of making a whole nother doctument for part 2.
I'm just gunna try and fix this.

TooneyD said...

Done and edited better (hopefully)

Shadow Phoenix said...

Much better ending-point. I wonder if there was a time-skip and Twilight went to Derpy's again or if this is the same time

Shaded Spriter said...

Liked this story...For some strange reason this brings up images of Derpy Hooves and Twilight Sparkles star in Stephen Kings Misery.

TooneyD said...

@Shaded Spriter

You found my inspiration.

Prominence said...

Really would like to see this continued. Is quite interesting.

Brian said...

I was planning to say that I can't wait for the next part...until I read the comment saying that Misery was one of the inspirations...I don't know if I want to now...

TooneyD said...

@BrianRelax, theres a reason this isn't Grimdark.

Anonymous said...

Still no 2nd part? :(

Marrock said...

@Anonymous I was wondering about that myself.

TooneyD said...

Hey guys, this is Tooney, the one who wrote the story.
Sorry I haven't written anything in a while, life was busy happening.
My parents kept ripping into me about my grades, finals n' shit, kept getting in trouble, I got a girlfriend (that shocked and surprised even me). Plus, I've been teaching myself how to use Flash, and am working on a little pony thing that could take a while.
Good news: Derpes P2 is on the way. It should be done by the end of the week, and I still have 2 months of freedom to work on this and my other stories, such as Ponies VS the Internet.

I promise I'll be back soon.

~Tooney

Baree said...

No permission to access.

Anonymous said...

...why do I have to request access for this?

Lily said...

It says i need "access" too view this, WHAT THE HELL. i cant read this.

Mr. Turner said...

..DINKLEBERG!!!

Anonymous said...

It worked for me...

Nah. It said I need access, too.

Raven said...

...I blame Trixie

Anonymous said...

Oh my Celestia, how I did misread the title....

Anonymous said...

Its obvious that Derpy got to the doc before we could read it.

Obviously.

Anonymous said...

Ditzy just flew north to get the southern docs

Anonymous said...

GODAMN it. I want to reeeaaad. Open up mitcha website, it's teim 4 ur bweakfast. :(

Ethereal Zephyros said...

Y U NO LET ME READ PART 2

chinlamp said...

So I heard you like stories about Derpy, so I derped on posting a story about Derpy so you can derp when I derp.

>_> That... did not work.

Anyway, at least this isn't like the time Sony hired Derpy to fix their network firewalls.

Anonymous said...

Silly Derpy, you derped up the file access...aw, don't be sad. It's not your fault, we still love you Derpy.

Lordlyhour said...

My inability Sparked the ember of irkedness. The fact I'm utterly fascinated by ponies to an unhealthy level because of my insomnia (curse this insomnia, it drives me to ponies) has fanned it into the inferno of RAEG!. But i'm far too sleepy to exact revenge and by thetime i'm awake enough to even consider attacking i'll not be raegful, you are safe... FOR NOW -Lordlyhour

Aotrs Commander said...

The link for the second part appears to be either broken, or googledocs has pulled on of it's random deletions, since the link ends up at a "welcome to googledocs" page.

Yaro Kasear said...

Why are we even using Google Docs for fanfics, anyway?

TooneyD said...

...Welp, I had a Derpy moment.
Forgot to change it from Private to Public.
Whoopsie.

Should be better now.

Anonymous said...

What in the name of Luna's moon is going on?

Anonymous said...

Part two reminded me of the movie Misery, which with Derpy involved is a scary thought. Either way, I look forward to future updates.

Anonymous said...

JEEZUS!!

When did this story decide to get grimdark?!

Delta Pangaea said...

Okay, NOW I'm freaked.

Seriously. If that ISN'T Derpy painted lavender, I am going to be beyond freaked.

Still, you have said this ain't Grimdark, so... I trust you... for now.

Frankly, I think it was the whole 'horn completely ripped off' line, which to me, evokes grisly images of brutal violence. Especially since a horn is actually bone, and a part of a pony's skull.... yeah. Ugh.

I still trust you.... I think... Please do something soon, I need closure!

Fanloser said...

Oh Dear Celestia AND Luna! WTF just happened?!

Okay, I'll only except two answers for this, one, it's actually Derpy just painted up, or two, Celestia is just having a real bad nightmare and that didn't actually just happen.

Because I don't want a mean crazy Derpy, that's Pinkie Pie's shtick, not Derpy's!

Anonymous said...

@Delta Pangaea
Horns aren't bone. They're made of keratin, like antlers.

Anonymous said...

Oh great, first cupcakes, now muffins. Please let this be Celestia's dream. One that she will wake up from at the beginning of the next chapter… with no more elaboration. Or any grimdark after that, please?

Wierdplatformer said...

You have now made Derpy go from weird to creepy, and that makes me sad.

Anonymous said...

Did it occur to nobody else that Derpy could be wearing a suit she made? (that isn't constructed from Twilight's hide)

Matariel said...

The locking the door and keeping her in a basement makes me think this is more Misery inspired than cupcakes/muffins

Randon said...

I'm thinking Derpy is wearing a Twilight costume made out of the stuffed animals from her basement...and yeah horns like antlers, they grow back when broken/ grow period, after all why else would rarity get her horn filed at the spa?

Anonymous said...

Neeeeeeed an update! PLeeeaaaase D:

Scary Scott said...

Oh god, What happens next, I MUST KNOW!

ShinyMew112 said...

COMMON RELEASE THE NEXT ONE!

PureAngel86 said...

Huh, what did I just read....Derpy as a.......MORE STORY NOW. I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!

i love horeses said...

update for us update for us c'mon! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD

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