• Story: Petriculture (Update Sequel 6 Parts 5!)


    Author: Kwakerjak
    Description: In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.
    π (pi)
    Transdementia (New Parts 5!)

    Additional Tags: Research, Conversations, Explanations, Surprises, Neuroses


    1. First off, great that comments are working again.
      Second, Twilight's question is certainly valid. I mean, how do you farm rocks? Of course on the flip side, thinking about Pinkie to any degree isn't worth any more than a massive headache, as you think Twilight would have learned by now.
      But who knows? It might be an interesting story.

    2. Oh man, the twist at the end of the story is the single biggest 'wut' moment I've had reading fanfiction.

    3. sound like I have to read it XD

    4. Wow, wait, what? Did these comments just change from InsaneDebate back to Blogger?

    5. Aw...I liked InsaneDebate. This was an accident right?
      The story sounds interesting,anyway.

    6. And now we're back to Blogger, what happened?

    7. This post had IntenseDebate when it first went up. Was that just another little experiment like Disquis?

    8. @Lunatic
      I also meant haha instead of 'haa' -_-
      I really am failing today.

    9. One does not simply switch back to blogger from intensedebate

    10. Blogger?

      Sure, why not? Never had a problem with it.

    11. hmmm, I was just getting used to the look of IntenseDebate too.

      As for this story, I read it the other day and thought it was very cool. Wish it had been longer but I guess it wasn't that type of story. Definitely recommend!

    12. That was amazing, simply amazing.

    13. Keeping us on our toes ey Seth ;)

    14. Ah, good ol' Blogger. I think that i'll read this story...

    15. I'mSoConfused.

      I just finished learning how to use the other comment system, what happened?

      Have I just created a whole bunch more accounts that I don't need?! Again?!
      ... -_-

    16. I wasn't seeing IntenseDebate comments on the mobile version on my 3DS.

    17. Now it seems to be back to IntenseDebate again.

      What's going on?

    18. @MyBoyJ

      Can we not do IntenseDebate and stick to blogger? I might never be heard from again! Then again that would be a good thing to some people. Well it's been nice knowing ye'.

      Also Celestia and Luna created Discord? Well that makes a lot of sense as them being the birth of all ponies, then sitting around and watching ponies struggle with Wendigoes for a few hundred years.

    19. I have only positive things to say about this story. However, I have to ask... if WARNING THE NEXT SENTENCE IS A SPOILER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED Twilight is Pinkie's mom, does that mean that Rainbow is the father?

    20. Saw this on Fimfiction..

    21. The twist at the end was almost as shocking as John Freeman appearing at the end of Hero Begining.

    22. Typo in the title.

      On another note, this pretty much explains Pinkie better than almost any other story I've read.

    23. Wonderful story.

      What happened to the new comment system?

    24. Read this a couple days ago. Absolutely recommended. For such a ridiculous twist, it makes a surprising amount of sense.

    25. ahhh yaaa!

      I read this before it got on EqD.

      That's important to me for some reason...

    26. this is a great story and everyone should read it. While it does have some crazy ass revelations and twists about 2 characters' origins it does not do it in a heavy handed way of "dropping a bomb" on the reader, it is actually quite episode-like and maintains a feeling of normalcy and acceptance and COMMON SENSE reactions (something too many fics throw out the window for more "srs bsns" effect).

      Not one of the best stories I have read and I can't say it affected MY headcanon, but it is the way this concept is presented that makes me recommend this wholeheartedly.

    27. This is one of the best origin fics I've ever seen.

      Read it now, with my assurance that the plot twist is Grade-A.

    28. I'm on my phone and I can't comment any where else :(

    29. Am I the only one who got a whiff of Velveteen Rabbit in this? And considering that was one of my favorite stories growing up, it's not hard to see why I loved this.

    30. I like this story premise! Definitely gonna give it a try!

      Also, welcome back Blogger! Mm, I missed you!

    31. This is like the only recent post with Blogger in it so don't get your hopes up.

    32. Well-written and fun, with a charming resolution. Can't say I'm a fan of this view of Pinkie Pie, but it's well within what the show has established.

    33. Quick and enjoyable, but rather suprsing. Interesting concept. Glad I read.

    34. Yeah, this fic is a real mind-screw. It's very well written, to be sure, but it's just...dang.

    35. The write quality of this story was excellent, and I was thoroughly engrossed within the first few paragraphs.

      Unfortunately, I was fairly disappointed by the major plot twist. I was really looking forward to having the mysteries of the Pie Family Rock Farm being further explained.

      I do hope we see more from this author in the future.

    36. Wonderful, clever, and actually didn't disturb my current headcanon for Rock Farming.

      I hope to see more from this author in the future.

    37. I loved this story ^_^ and I'm glad the comments are back, since it didn't work on mobile version, and No comments showed up.

    38. I read this yesterday, and I gotta say, the twist was very original, and fun.

    39. Well that was a pretty interesting story, with an even more interesting ending.

      Of course, one wonders if she became an Earth pony for reasons on balance, as it were...

    40. Also, I wonder what's up with the comments? Back to normal but only for this post...

    41. That was a delightful episodic-like story to read, definitely a 5 ★ fanfic. I really enjoyed the surprising yet strangely believable twist at the end.

    42. someone in #bronymusic put me onto this the other day

      the twist is VERY cool imho

      Definitely one of the better supernatural explanations for Pinkie I've ever seen.

    43. Posting a comment because it's the only post where I can post a comment. It's funny because there's a discussion post that can't be commented on. Anyone else have this missing comment problem?

    44. wouldn't it be lithiculture? just trying to be as scientifically accurate as possible.

    45. I'm one of the many who caught it on Fimfiction.

      I gotta say, if this ever got made into a season 3-4 episode, I'd be perfectly OK with that.

    46. >the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense.
      -Well... in fact there's a few strong theories around this.

      Mostly involving traces of mineral(s), and the magic that imbues virtually everything (to different levels) in this world, as a sort of fertilizer for the crystalline structure... between other things.

    47. @DE Fluttershy
      *psssssst* you already said the same thing backward, not too long ago... just saying...

    48. Huh, I never got the impression they were farming the rocks, just navigating them for some strange reason. They may have been Amish, but I'm guessing they will have been as random as their daughter in their own, bland way.

    49. What happen to the comments on other posts?

    50. > growing inorganic material seemed to be a contradiction in terms. If she could learn the basic principles behind it
      -Yes, learn the fascinating interactions between surface-levels of magic and the various crystalline structures of minerals and gems ! :D ...I like gems and shiny stuff, and cool-looking rocks too.

      >if it’s really possible to grow rocks for later harvesting, then the magical ramifications could be huge, not to mention the potential economic-
      >“Sugarcube, don’t take this the wrong way, but that might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard
      -I kinda (really) doubt that ‘rock farming’ is such a mysterious, unknown, and out-of-nowhere thing, seriously...

      Surely not as prevalent as fruits or vegetables farming, but still...
      Small mineral samples grow into small gems, and small gems are used- and thus sold a bit everywhere...
      Probably not THE most profitable kind of market, considering how *abundant* gems and semi-precious minerals are and all(in their world, or in their country at least), but still a slightly known market.

      >It’s just Pinkie bein’ Pinkie
      -I always found this ‘’expression’’ to be just an excuse to be lazy.

      >Rarity added. “Applejack’s explanation sounds quite reasonable to me.”
      -Of all the ponies that Twilight knows, Rarity was the most likely to know SOMETHING about the provenance of some of the gems she uses... I doubt ALL her gems always come from her digging with Spike.
      But, apparently not.

      >“Ms. Sparkle, please, this is a library.”
      >“More than likely, because the subject doesn’t exist.”
      -This is annoying now... They had a book about the almost forgotten legend of Nightmare Moon, but not even a single one about the magical growth of gems through ‘’farming’’ ?
      It’s the ROYAL LIBRARY of Canterlot ! Essentially the equivalent of the ‘Library of Alexandria’... not a magazines stand.

      >“No... it’s because... well... there’s no record of them.”
      >As far as official records go, there’s no evidence that your friend even has a family.”
      -(sigh) What now... what nonsense is this again ?

      >I decided to create my own friend—a pony who would throw parties for me no matter what happened. I named her Surprise
      -Please... no, don’t tell me...


      >she looked just like you, Pinkie Pie. She acted like you. I think her voice even sounded like yours.”
      >“Pinkie Pie? How did you really get your cutie mark?”
      -Oh, you have to be f***ing kidding me ?
      Pinkie Pie never truly existed ? Pinkie Pie was nothing more than a feeble figment of one’s child imagination ? Pinkie Pie should/would have never existed, if not for Twilight and the sonic rainboom ?

      Sorry, really, but... Can I punch the author for such a stupid idea ?

      No, really... Where are the [Random] and the [Comedy] tags ? Because, this can only be a ridiculous joke. This story NEEDS the first one, absolutely, at least.

      When does the author even *thought* it was a good idea to deviate from a story about finding weird stuff about ‘rock farming’, to a nonsensical ‘Pinkie Pie is essentially a lie, created by Twilight, and made alive by ‘’rainbows’’’ ? I’m curious, honestly ?

      I don’t think I want to read more of this anymore ?
      I have almost never saw a story going from something ‘ok’ and potentially interesting, to something so incredibly terrible, in such a catastrophic way...

    51. I enjoyed the story myself.

      Mind you, I'm an avid reader of Ask Surprise's Tumblr. Believe it or not, that totally helped make this read lots of fun. Nothing wrong with fun!

    52. @Nova25

      Don't be a d*ck about the things you don't like.

    53. @Unknown
      Actually provide a half-decent comment, next time, instead of the 'generic bland, angry comment #something'. -_-